I was born somewhere in Switzerland in the spring of 1974. The exact date and circumstances of my birth are unknown since I was immediately placed in a basket and tossed in a river.
I rode the pristine Alpine glacial melt waters for hundreds of miles before a young Milanese woman discovered the basket along the banks of the river Po. Some say it was this first early journey to Milan that fueled my love for both exploration and fashion. The woman raised me as her own, naming me Lorenzo after her father and giving me the surname Von Matterhorn to reflect my Swiss heritage as well as my uncommonly large penis.