Matt Marchesky

Matt Marchesky


I was born in Chicago in May of 1983, but lived in Arizona most of my life. I was back in the windy city from 2005-2008, but have recently moved to the Virgin Islands. I love all sports, with my favorites being College Football and College Basketball.

Favorite Teams:
#1 My Cleveland Indians
#2 My Ohio State Buckeyes
#3 My Arizona Wildcats

Favorite Players:
#1 Tiger Woods. The man performs miracles.
#2 Ray Lewis. Killing people, both on and off the field.
#3 Lebron James. The human definition of talent.
(honorable mentions: Kenny Lofton, Anthony Kim, James Laurinitis)

Favorite Coaches:
#1 Ben Howland, for building NAU, Pittsburgh, and UCLA.
#2 Jim Tressel, for that sexy sweater vest of victory
#3 Philip Fulmer (R.I.P.), for being a classy coach in the SEC, which i thought was impossible.

Favorite Announcers:
#1 Gary Thorne, for his classic calls when i was just a kid in love with hockey.
#2 Gary Danielson, for actually knowing the subject he's commentating on.
#3 Thom Brenneman, for apparently stalking me wherever i go.

Favorite Hilarious Dudes That I Love:
#1 Mike Greeneberg, for being the perfect balance between smart and funny.
#2 Woody Paige, for being the perfect balance between stupid and funny.
#3 Lee Corso, for being the perfect balance between stupid and retarded.

Least Favorite Teams:
#1 New York Yankees, for killing me every other year.
#2 San Antonio Spurs, for being the lamest team west of New York City.
#3 Michigan Wolverines, for being alive.

Least Favorite Players:
#1 Tim Duncan, for being the most boring player alive.
#2 Joakim Noah, for beating OSU at Florida and then moving to Chicago.
#3 Tyler Hansbrough, because he's just a white oaf, and everyone wants to suck him off.

Least Favorite Coaches:
#1 Congrats to Rich Rodriguez, who takes over #1!
#2 Les Miles, for acting like he's angry all the time.
#3 Charlie Weis, for acting like he can coach.

Least Favorite Announcers:
#1 Cris Collinsworth. self-explanatory.
#2 Tim McCarver. ugh...
#3 Troy Aikman/Joe Buck. jesus...

Least Favorite Assholes Of The Current Moment:
#1 Mark May.
#2 ...Mark May. LOL!
#3 Jay Bilas/Steve Lavin (...let them fight it out...)

Bulletin Board

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  • Jeff Kneis posted 3296 days ago

    Jeff Kneis

    Hey Matt—Jeff here, a Bleacher Report Community Coordinator.

    I've been spending time on our NFL page and read a couple of your old articles. Really on-point do good work.

    Given that you haven't written in a while, I thought I'd check in and see if you're interested in picking up your coverage again. What do you say?

    If not, it would be great if you could give me some feedback on why you decided to stop writing and what we could have done to better serve you. If you wouldn't mind, please shoot me a line at with any thoughts.

    Thanks so much,


  • Jay Middleton posted 3584 days ago

    Jay Middleton

    A Bilas-Lavin fight would be AWESOME! Bilas would probably be favored, but Lavin's got that dormant, lupine look in his eyes and I think under extreme pressure he would just snap and start tearing at Bilas' throat with those wolfish fangs. Let's get 'em in the octagon, pronto!

  • Zander Freund posted 3593 days ago

    Zander Freund

    Hey Matt,

    I just wanted to let you know that Bleacher Report has launched out of beta with an updated look and feel and some great new features. Check out the "Game On" link in the header to find out more.

    Next week we'll be launching the site to the world with some public announcements—and it'd be great to get a contribution from you between now and Tuesday to make Bleacher Report's launch a success.

    Let me know if you need any help with ideas or have questions. Have a great weekend Matt!


  • Matt Marchesky posted 3657 days ago

    Matt Marchesky

    There's a reason Cris Collinsworth graduated to the number one position, over long-time worthless analyst Tim McCarver. It's because he thinks he is somehow distinguished. See, Tim has completely lost sense of the world. The things he says no longer correspond to the event he's covering, and for that, it is difficult to hate him. Collinsworth, on the other hand, actually believes that what he's saying is in some way a "contribution" to our understanding of football. So shame on you, Cris, for believing in yourself.

  • Jay Middleton posted 3657 days ago

    Jay Middleton

    From Wikipedia:

    In Man vs. Beast, Cris Collinsworth challenged Mr. Hurry at Turfway Park in 1983. Collinsworth was defeated by a nose at the hands of Jockey Pat Cooksey who came out of retirement specifically for this race. "Hey, I'm undefeated against the Bengals, and I plan on keeping it that way," she said. In 1993 Collinsworth again challenged an equine but lost to Sir Trace at River Downs.

    This was tried again by Bengals wide receiver, Chad Johnson who did win. On June 9, 2007, Johnson raced bred horse a furlong (220 yards) for charity. Chad, given a 110-yard head start, beat the horse by twelve lengths. He hopes to re-race the horse later on in the summer.

    [I think the fact that he raced the horse twice tells you all you need to know.]

  • Jay Middleton posted 3657 days ago

    Jay Middleton

    Cris Collinsworth SUCKS. Oh my god, if I had a TiVo, I'd have a whole series on how inane his Sunday night commentary is...