A JOBBERS STORY #1
Tons of Funk lose again, no surprise.. The Funkasaurus gets some heat, and pushes Load Tensai from behind using his tiny Reptar arms.. Fast Forward.. Elimination Chamber.. DKM.. Dinosaur Killing Machine Brodus Slay, stands blood covered and tall amidst the tall pile of broken warriors he has destroyed.. *New EC stipulation, a beaten Superstar must remain in the chamber for the remainder of the match and sell it on the canvas*.. No one lives though the reign of terror brought to you courtesy of the world's bigGest suplex machine.. Brodus is heading into Wrestlemania, the WWE Champion, to face Royal Rumble conqueror.... Prince Albert. Knight slays the dragon story.. Classic English lit...
A JOBBERS STORY #2
Zack Ryder loses a match (surprise surprise).. and he just snaps!.. I mean Long Island Iced Z really comes uncorked!!.. He stomps around ringside knocking over a cameraman (not breaking the camera, he isn't CM Punk after all), and wrecking a mild havoc... A jeer from the crowd draws him suddenly like an electron magnet.. Ryder grabs a fan by his head and pulls him over the barricade.. The fan is on the ground and Zack Attack starts to lay some ugly boots to him.. The WWE Universe can hardly believe what is happening!.. Over a million people on Twitter finally realize who this guy is they have been following... From out of nowhere.. the fan seizes Ryder by the ugly boot.. The fan gets to his feet and bashes Ryder spine first into the side of the ring... A vicious beating of Zack Ryder goes on for several minutes.. no one is really in a hurry to stop it.. until.... Security *they had to* rush the assailant and surround him.. as they struggle... the fan frees himself and grabs the ring announcers microphone... in his horse but familiar accent, the fan rallies to the crowd with the proclamation, "Badda Boom!!.. Reelist Guy in the Room!!!.. Zack Ryder is nuthin' but a fake tuff guy.. S-A-W-F-T!!!.." The Enzo Amore debut..