1. Scooby Doo Revealed To Be One of Michael Vick's Victims (Satire)

    As recently paroled quarterback Michael Vick works to rebuild his shattered reputation and secure a spot on an NFL roster, it was revealed today that one of the victim's of Vick's dogfighting ring was beloved Hanna-Barbera character Scooby-Doo...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about 5 years ago 1,352 reads 1 comments

  2. Surviving a Car Crash: A Guide for the Montreal Canadiens

    The Montreal Canadiens 100th season was very much like watching a car accident. It cruised along during the first half of the season, with the team having both hands firmly planted on the wheel and a strong wind behind it...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 619 reads 9 comments

  3. I Think the NFL Tried To Recruit Me

    I logged on to my Facebook account the other day because, for once, I did have something on my mind, which is what Facebook is always tries to coax out of me every time I log in...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 113 reads 0 comments

  4. Does Sean Avery Have a Man Crush on Tim Thomas?

    Debate has been raging for days now as to whether the league should punish New York Rangers blowhard Sean Avery for his stick-tap to the back of the head of Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 463 reads 0 comments

  5. Despite Rumor, F1 Not Likely to Return to Montreal in '09

    As rumors go, this one seemed about as likely as Madonna being told she could no longer adopt small African children. Still, in a city still feeling the effects of having the F1 yanked from its summer line-up of festivities, hope sprang eternal...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 157 reads 2 comments

  6. Habs Are Free Fallin': A Musical Tribute to Failure

    As I celebrate my 100th article, I figure it's time for a song. (Habs are) Free Fallin' with apologies to Tom Petty Know a Habs fan, loves Bob Gainey, Loved Carbo, and his line changes, too...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 98 reads 12 comments

  7. Parents Line Up To Hand Over First-Born Sons for Yankees Tickets

    With opening day just a few short weeks away, desperate fans are handing over their first-born sons to the New York Yankees in exchange for front-row seats for opening day at the new Yankee Stadium...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 399 reads 15 comments

  8. NCAA Tournament: Tips To Get Out of Work and Enjoy the Show

    Ah, spring!When the Northern Hemisphere crawls out from under winter's bitterly cold blanket, when the birds try and do it with the bees...or something, and when a young man's fancy turns to March Madness as it finally returns in all its glory...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 146 reads 7 comments

  9. UFL Looks to Sign Michael Vick, Jesus Christ

    In what could be shaping up to be a blockbuster deal, the UFL is considering signing convicted dog killer and disgraced former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick along with the Son of God, Jesus Christ...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 1,000 reads 18 comments

  10. I Think I Could Take the Montreal Canadiens

    After watching 60 minutes and 26 seconds of Thursday night's Montreal Canadiens game against the New York Islanders, I've come to the conclusion that I could take the Montreal Canadiens...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 163 reads 17 comments

  11. Montreal Canadiens Need Veteran Coach To Guide Rookie Team

    It was the timing that surprised most Montreal Canadiens fans although, by the end of Monday's supper hour, prognosticators from here to Sept-Iles, Quebec claimed to know that former head coach Guy Carbonneau's days were numbered...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 201 reads 8 comments

  12. I Think My Nintendo Wii Slugger Is Juicing

    I had an inkling something was up when I hit the practice field. For the past several weeks, my Nintendo Mii just couldn't get it together. During the home run practice, he was lucky if he could knock one 138 feet, let alone 549 feet...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 270 reads 8 comments

  13. I Just Don't Get The NHL Trade Deadline Hype

    I woke up Wednesday morning with a stiff back and the lingering effects of few stiff drinks the night prior...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 108 reads 6 comments

  14. Alex Rodriguez and the Death of Baseball

    In 1998, all the sporting world was riding a tidal wave of enthusiasm, a tsunami of sheer enjoyment brought on by the two earthquakes of Major league Baseball, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 759 reads 4 comments

  15. Passionless Montreal Canadiens Bringing About Their Own Demise

    In what was supposed to be a year full of pomp and promise; hope and glory; history and hysteria, the Montreal Canadiens have failed to deliver...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 171 reads 7 comments

  16. New York Yankees Bail Out Ford Motor Co. [Satire]

    After constructing a new $1.3 billion stadium and doling out another $423 million to three players, the New York Yankees have agreed to purchase the Ford Motor Co...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 12,633 reads 40 comments

  17. The Detroit Lions: A Better Team Than The Oakland Raiders

    In any given Sunday and on every Thanksgiving Thursday, there's a good chance the Detroit Lions are going to lose. With three games left in the regular season against the Indianapolis Colts, ...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 700 reads 29 comments

  18. Montreal Canadiens State-Of-The-Art Practice Rink May Help Lure Talent

    The Champlain Bridge is one of four major bridges linking Montreal to its south shore. As you cruise along highway 10 for about five to 10 minutes, you'll stumble upon cookie cutter house developments, ...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 1,476 reads 5 comments

  19. Can We Get a Bleacher Report Bowl Over Here?

    As a kid, I woke up to a brand new year with the Rose Bowl. I didn't actually watch the game, but I remember it was a staple of New Year's Day, just like the ham my mom always cooked ...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 295 reads 10 comments

  20. The Sean Avery Sloppy Seconds Conspiracy Theory

    Alright kids, time to strap on the ol' tinfoil hat as we explore this whole Sean Avery sloppy seconds affair. Let's begin.....

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 4,340 reads 8 comments

  21. The Boston Bruins Are a Much Better Team 84 Years Later

    Those who live in Boston are likely familiar with Matthews Arena, a.k.a Boston Arena, now a part of Northeastern University. It is home to the Northeastern Huskies men's and women's hockey teams, as well as the school's basketball team...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 232 reads 3 comments

  22. Three Jerseys Is Two Too Many for the NHL

    My father is a marketer's dream. He is easily seduced by new packaging. Growing up, he would regularly bring home boxes of who-knows-what, impressed by a certain look or design or package or collector's tin...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 421 reads 18 comments

  23. Ryan O'Byrne: Not the Goat in Canadiens' Woes

    When things are going wrong, things always seem to get worse. For the Montreal Canadiens, things have been going wrong and got worse on Monday night...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 398 reads 11 comments

  24. The Number 33: Strange Truths That Have Nothing to Do With Patrick Roy

    On most nights, Patrick Roy made it look easy. His style and grace between the pipes helped the Montreal Canadiens win two Stanley Cups in 1986 and 1993...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 871 reads 6 comments

  25. Mats Sundin or Alex Kovalev? Decisions for the Montreal Canadiens

    Like the groundhog that pops up every Feb. 2 to see if it'll be startled by its shadow, Mats Sundin popped up again this week...

    Tim Parent Written by Tim Parent about over 5 years ago 960 reads 12 comments