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My name is Mike and I write Greg Schiano jokes for food. Long ago, I taught mathematics in suburban South Jersey. During standardized test sessions, I wrote articles for Football Outsiders and the New York Times. Eventually, schools began giving so many standardized tests that I was a full-time writer who proctored tests as a side job. So I quit proctoring tests. I covered the NFL for Sports on Earth for two years. Now I am at Bleacher Report, sharing statistical nuggets and offbeat observations while waiting for Congress to appoint a Poet Laureate in the category of Johnny Manziel Tweets. 'Cuz I like my odds.

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  • Roderick Keelen posted 5 days ago

    Roderick Keelen

    Your articles have been on the money. You and Matt Miller are the best this website has to offer. You are great

  • Mike Tanier posted 5 days ago

    Mike Tanier

    Thanks for taking the time to hunt me down!

  • Lambeau Legend posted 6 days ago

    Lambeau Legend

    Love your work, Mike! I was a little distressed when you suddenly disappeared from SoE. I'm glad to see that you're still around to grace us with your unique style of sports writing. Keep it up!

  • Sparky posted 9 days ago

    Sparky

    You are great! Can't even compare you and Mike Freeman!

  • T Urb posted 12 days ago

    T Urb

    great article on spanking....

  • Casey Rucker posted 13 days ago

    Casey Rucker

    NYT to SoE to Bleacher Report. Mike, you are the only football writer I read. I'll follow you anywhere, and am so glad you keep landing on your feet. Keep up the sweet strains of your vocis clamantis in deserto.

  • Julie Worley posted 14 days ago

    Julie Worley

    9/16/2014 Re: "Violence is Violence"
    WATCH: http://www.corpun.com/viduss04.htm#clip2 U.S. Public School Coach violently paddle 2 student athletes.
    In this 30-second clip, two schoolboys are seen receiving three paddle swats each. We seem to be in a locker room, so presumably the teacher doing the spanking is a sports coach. He looks as if he is familiar with performing this task. The first student thinks he is getting only one swat and is told he is getting three. The culprits stand up straight, holding on to a shelf. There is a rather raucous atmosphere among one or two other students present, but the swats are real and hard. This is thought to be at Richwood Middle School in Monroe, Louisiana, and probably dates from early 2013. See this Oct 2013 news item.

    WATCH 3 min. trailer for Documentary Movie "The Board of Education" by Jared Abrams Exposing Violent Pain Punishment of children, even against parents' wishes, in Public Schools based on where they live, protected by law https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vt4v7KsFi8

    Corporal Punishment Complaint (DISTURBING) NEWS VIDEO: Arkansas girl's paddling by male school administrator draws blood, leaves bruises/ video includes graphic color photos of severe bruising injuries taken 5 days after paddling she cried begged through tears of pain for beating to stop, male administrator forced her to take 2 more blows! Prosecutors decline to bring charges, school board ignores parents. http://www.nwahomepage.com/story/d/story/corporal-punishment-complaint/18215/rovY00pLiEedJfQrrX7nEQ

    7 Texas High School Football Coaching Staff Witnessed beating of student with a wooden canoe paddle that broke and had to be taped to continue the beating, none of the witnesses came forward and the case was dropped, the student was severely injured, could barely walk. http://www.wfaa.com/story/local/2014/09/03/13430240/

    WATCH: Mississippi students to school board - You say students are our future You beat us like we’re worthless. Is this the future you want? youtu.be/-pz1B67USd8

    Child Abuse in Schools Protected by Law with tacit approval of Congress and the U.S. Supreme Court 3/2014 Federal Appeals Court Rejects Latest Corporal Punishment Challenge http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/school_law/2014/03/appeals_court_rejects_latest_c.html?r=17

    Please join 6,000+ by Signing and Sharing Petition Congress to End Corporal Pain Punishment of Children in Schools HR 5005 http://chn.ge/QaERCo

    Correlation? Adrian Peterson NFL child abuse hitting 4 yr old son w/switch-raised in SE Texas where Schools use big paddles http://beaumontenterprise.com/news/article/The-paddle-has-been-swung-in-SETx-schools-1-500-3546249.php?cmpid=twitter … … … … … …

    The paddle has been swung in SETx schools 1,500 times this school year

    TEXAS State Rep. Alma Allen has introduced bill to ban school paddling of children for 8 years in a row!
    http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas//news/houston-texas/houston/article/Houston-lawmak er-s-bill-would-stop-paddling-in-4327053.php
    Houston lawmaker's bill would stop 'paddling' in the classroom

    7/17/2014 USATODAY: "As more schools ban paddling, others
    defend it"
    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/07/17/school-district-ban-paddling-rural-ar eas-defend/12421465/?siteID=je6NUbpObpQ-2SEPz24l_iHlt9LBNmsTLQ

    Top 5 states for corporal punishment in schools
    Mississippi ... 41,146 (students paddled).
    Texas .... 37,290.
    Alabama ... 30,061.
    Arkansas ... 24,490.
    Tennessee ... 16,645.
    Source: Department of Education's Civil Rights Data Base, 2009-2010

    http://sparethekids.com/ to provide Black parents, families communities with a full range of alternatives to corporal punishment please also check out http://www.beatingblackkids.com/

  • Mike Tanier posted 18 days ago

    Mike Tanier

    Craig. I am a tech knucklehead who does not know anything about RSS. But I do know that if you poke around BR a little, you are going to find several other writers you will love. In the meantime, you can set your watch by my Monday morning and Saturday morning columns, then stop back Tuesday and Thursday most weeks for my other articles.

  • Craig Goldstein posted 19 days ago

    Craig Goldstein

    Hey Mike, being new to this Bleacher Report and all...can we get an RSS feed for your content alone? Nothing personal, other writers I don't follow...

  • Kari Wade posted 21 days ago

    Kari Wade

    I'd like to call in to question what Patriots fans you are using as a reference for the line: "Patriots fans don’t handle ordinary losses well: They interpret them not as off games but as rifts in the cosmic balance or metaphysical conundrums, the way primitive tribesmen view a volcanic eruption." So-called ordinary losses still sting when you love your team. True fans aren't hyperventilating in terror, or building shrines to the cut-sleeved hoodie gods. We are not bandwagon jumpers, pink jersey wearers, residents of Connecticut, or loud idiots that call into Boston sports radio. Those types of fans seem to fit the bill of what you describe -- and in my opinion, they can jump right off the bandwagon and order up a Wilson #3 jersey. Me and the other Masshole fans won't miss you. PS - I see you are from South Jersey (I currently live here,) so I am assuming your frame of reference for ACTUAL Patriots fans is quite narrow. Since most SJ residents I know try very hard to fight the stereotypes other states put on them, I'd appreciate if you'd return the favor.

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