Mike Tanier
Featured Columnist IV

Mike Tanier

Syndicated Writer

About

My name is Mike and I write Greg Schiano jokes for food. Long ago, I taught mathematics in suburban South Jersey. During standardized test sessions, I wrote articles for Football Outsiders and the New York Times. Eventually, schools began giving so many standardized tests that I was a full-time writer who proctored tests as a side job. So I quit proctoring tests. I covered the NFL for Sports on Earth for two years. Now I am at Bleacher Report, sharing statistical nuggets and offbeat observations while waiting for Congress to appoint a Poet Laureate in the category of Johnny Manziel Tweets. 'Cuz I like my odds.

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  • Victorious Secrets posted 172 days ago

    Victorious Secrets

    MIKE! Since NYtimes and Walkthru and SportsOnEarth I've been awaiting your previews. It used to be so great to have to read on Fridays; complete with Thursday night wrap up so I could read during boring PD and Staff Development. Then you forced me to wait till Saturday; and now its been 2 weeks. They were always a Great Read; who cares about accuracy; nobody's accurate; the best we can hope for is what to look for what are the keys to winning and therefore when the coaches dial up a total surprise we can appreciate being as fooled as the opponent was.
    If you're Not going to give us your excellent Previews anymore. TELL US WHO is using FO stats' GSIS and Film to make educated and entertaining guesses??? I looked up on B/R I figured it was an Editorial Decision to pull Mike from Previews because somebody else was doing it better. All I saw was 3 different writers comparing betting lines and doing the Gambler thing. No Film, No DVOA, or any other Analytics, just " This team tends to cover the spread 35% more often then normal when playing on the road 4pm a week after the bye" type stuff. Bullshit, in other word

  • Victorious Secrets posted 172 days ago

    Victorious Secrets

    MIKE! Since NYtimes and Walkthru and SportsOnEarth I've been awaiting your previews. It used to awesome on Fridays so I could read during boring PD and Staff Development. Then you forced me to wait till Saturday; and now its been 2 weeks. They were always a Great Read; who cares about accuracy; nobody's accurate; the best we can hope for is what to look for what are the keys to winning and therefore when the coaches dial up a total surprise we can appreciate being as fooled as the opponent was.
    If you're Not going to give us your excellent Previews anymore. TELL US WHO is using FO stats' GSIS and Film to make educated and entertaining guesses??? I looked up on B/R I figured it was an Editorial Decision to pull Mike from Previews because somebody else was doing it better. All I saw was 3 different writers comparing betting lines and doing the Gambler thing. No Film, No DVOA, or any other Analytics, just " This team tends to cover the spread 35% more often then normal when playing on the road 4pm a week after the bye" type stuff. Bullshit, in other words.

  • Victorious Secrets posted 186 days ago

    Victorious Secrets

    And Mike...really disappointing the Weekly Picks are gone. I fear the worst and hope for the best; that you've found another gig.

  • Victorious Secrets posted 186 days ago

    Victorious Secrets

    Would Kaepernich stand in North Korea game? That's ACTUALLY an argument against his protest? Bringing up the place where death is the penalty for not participating in forced displays of unity out of protest for dozens of dead unarmed citizens whose murderers are ALWAYS exonerated? Really?? What the F&*k does racist Right Wing America hating Kaep actually stand for? Because Freedom ISNT it. Freedom to marry other human beings; freedom from murder by law enforcement, freedom of expression, what the F* are you people arguing about?
    AND: WHY the F&* can Right wingers trash America all the time, hating a clear majority of nonwhites and Liberal whites, say it NEEDs someone to 'make it great again' by banning the only people responsible for USA's growth and power. It aint your Red States, corn, cotton, meth and trailer parks is NOT the reason USA Matters. If the South won the Civil War you'd be english speaking Mexico; agriculture, not integrated into the Urban and Northern Economy. White Southerners would be sneaking into NYC for jobs.

  • Christian Glakas posted 186 days ago

    Christian Glakas

    Hi Mike, are you no longer writing your weekly NFL game previews each fall? If not, I'll be bummed. I've really enjoyed reading them, ever since you wrote for the NYT. They were one of about three things that have made being a Redskins fan bearable over the last ~7 years. Anyway, I do enjoy reading your other articles, and congrats on your success.

  • Kevin Donovan posted 199 days ago

    Kevin Donovan

    ernie, there are plenty of good arguments that CK should stand. none of them involve north korea.

  • ernie cohen posted 201 days ago

    ernie cohen

    Actually, there is a federal law that requires standing for the national anthem (and removing headdress, and putting your hand on your heart): https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/36/301

    The best argument to end this nonsense (sadly not appearing anywhere) is: if the 49ers were playing an exhibition game with North Korea, wouldn't Kaepernick stand for the PRK national anthem?

  • Julie Cole posted 201 days ago

    Julie Cole

    Mike, Thank you for writing the piece on Josh Brown. You grasped the walk of a domestic abuse victim very well. I am a survivor of domestic violence and know that your words will move the cause a bit forward. Anytime that happens, lives are saved. We have a long way to go, but the solutions are rather easy. Stop dismissing domestic violence as a "couple's dynamic" problem and treat it for what it is, a violent crime. I was first attacked while I was pregnant, too. There are simply no words to describe the shock and trauma of being choked when you are nine months pregnant. One minute I am over the moon expecting my first baby, the next I'm fighting for both our lives against the father. There is no emotional place to go after that happens, except maybe denial. But, that is nothing compared to the confusing hell our children travel as they watch the world dismiss abuse time and time again. We spin some magnanimous action of "forgiveness" for the abuser. To hold abusers truly accountable is scary, right? What would the NFL be without the abusers as players, for God Sake? Would the billionaire owners starve in the fall out? Of course not. Yet, better to discredit the victims, minimize the crime and move on as if the world was just the same as before we knew who the player really was. I understand "Mr. NFL", I lived that denial, too. Sadly, it doesn't work. It just exposes more victims to abuse and more children to deep wounds that may never heal. Accept these abusers for who they are. Cowards. Not heroes. They have chosen to handle relationship challenges in the least honorable way, by exploiting another at great cost to the victim and very little to themselves. The fact that they can become good at press conference apologies doesn't mean they are contrite. The first sign of that was the abuse itself. “The word "good" has many meanings. If a man were to shoot his grandmother at 500 yards, you may say that he is a good shot, but not a good man.”―G.K.Chesterton When will the NFL and the rest of our society require our gladiators to be good men?

  • Michael LaRocca posted 206 days ago

    Michael LaRocca

    I'd love it if Bleacher Report offered a "subscribe to Mike Tanier" feature.

  • b gee posted 215 days ago

    b gee

    EXCELLENT column on the Eagles' Pederson. Wish one of the locals (Philly writers) had managed as much. The Eagles had virtually no competition for Pederson's services as a head coach ... little wonder why. Thanks Mike.

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