Mike Tanier
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Mike Tanier

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My name is Mike and I write Greg Schiano jokes for food. Long ago, I taught mathematics in suburban South Jersey. During standardized test sessions, I wrote articles for Football Outsiders and the New York Times. Eventually, schools began giving so many standardized tests that I was a full-time writer who proctored tests as a side job. So I quit proctoring tests. I covered the NFL for Sports on Earth for two years. Now I am at Bleacher Report, sharing statistical nuggets and offbeat observations while waiting for Congress to appoint a Poet Laureate in the category of Johnny Manziel Tweets. 'Cuz I like my odds.

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  • Mike Andrus posted 3 days ago

    Mike  Andrus

    Hey by the way Suh had no tackles this week either but I guarantee his presents was felt. Your statements about Suh are a complete joke. Watch Miami game film with Suh in & you will see how stupid you look.

  • dooby blooby posted 44 days ago

    dooby blooby

    Your articles are the reason I read Bleacher Report. They are always insightful, well-informed, and hilarious. You use good data to support your positions, do a ton of research, and avoid biased writing. Your writing style is very friendly and your use of humor is just great. Thanks for making my days a little more interesting!

  • mike L posted 110 days ago

    mike L

    mike... your fumble/rate article was missing an interesting/alarming split... the career splits for "workhorse" backs... there is quite a bit of noise out there concerning benching fumblers, how Kick returns inflate fumbles, in your article you even talk about how center exchanges, and sacks might skew fumble rates... workhorse backs ball security eliminates ALL these factors... workhorse backs RARELY are assigned kick return duties, dont get sacked, or take center exchanges... and they are not workhorses if they are on the bench you have to exclude backs who only ran for one team... Faulk, Vareen, Ridley, Maroney are excluded because they only ran for NE... Fred Taylor didnt have any meaningful # of carries FOR NE... we are talking about Blount, Green-Ellis, Morris, Dillon, Smith. Combined these guys fumble rates under NE were HALF their fumble rates everywhere else, and NONE of them were higher in NE than the rest of their careers... Dillon was essentially a wash as his fumble rate was pretty stable both IN NE and away... not to mention it was s entire career

  • Shay Thompson posted 113 days ago

    Shay Thompson

    I'll give it to you Tanier. Unlike some of the bums on here you do actually write knowledgeable articles about football.

  • Shay Thompson posted 113 days ago

    Shay Thompson

    I'll give it to you Tanier. Unlike some of the bums on here you do actually write knowlegeable articles about football.

  • James T posted 117 days ago

    James T

    Hey hey! Finally, a well-reasoned column about everything that has transpired this past week. Not only reasonable, but fun to read as well. It's why Mike Tanier is the only thing I read at Bleacher Report. Why? I find him informative and witty, as Homer Simpson once said. Keep up the good work! #EvenBiggerFan

  • blah.blah.blah. posted 122 days ago


    What an absolute trip you are. You perspectives and sense of humour would make any mother proud. I'm just glad (for us not them) that you quit teaching and decided the nugget factor was more your thing. #bigfan

  • Cole Cason posted 123 days ago

    Cole Cason

    Just curious how do you list one of Chris Conley's weakness's as speed????

  • Ian A posted 125 days ago

    Ian A

    Mike Tainer,
    I would like to start by saying I am a frequent reader of BleacherReport and I enjoy most of what it has to offer. While reading up on mock drafts and NFL prospect articles, I stumbled upon the article, Top Prospect's Flaws: Major, Minor or Mostly Imagined?. After exploring this article, I found that I have a couple issues with the section on USC’s Leonard Williams that I would like to voice to you.
    First, I think it is inappropriate to immediately deem Williams a player will a slow first step. As you state clearly, we see slow releases in the Nebraska game frequently but not in other matches. It seems self-contradictory to label his first step as slow but still state several times that he does not show the slow steps in other games like he did in the Nebraska game.
    Second, I think the figure you used to quantify Williams’ slow starts was not a successful way of backing your argument. In your article, you counted the slow snaps in two different games to compare with Williams’s performance in the Nebraska game. Although you used this data to argue against your original point which does paint Williams in a better light, it is not an adequate way of making your point. I feel that your use of three games to make this statement about his slow step is inappropriate in the first place, but also because he played in 39 games and 3 games is not an accurate scope of his copious play at USC.
    I feel the piece on Williams was an argument for the sake of an argument. You classified his slow starts as “Major, but not crippling.” Stating the weakness that you argue he has is “major, but not crippling” epitomizes the notion that this piece is very self contradictory. I also found it bizarre that the Bleacher Report video you chose to embed in this piece has a staff member list Williams’ first strength as first step quickness.

  • Roo Mal posted 131 days ago

    Roo Mal

    'I thought it was a miraculous run and I read Micheal Shermer books' Lol, it all makes sense now. You and the Football Outsiders crew are part of the Skeptic Community. I 'joined' read 'Why do people believe Wierd Things'. For a great Phil 101 class. That was back before most High School students I see at work believe Illuminati control everything, and a pharmacist I know told me Hurricane Sandy was created by the Government for 'population control'. Too bad it killed less than the births that day.
    Psuedo-Science, disinformation and superstition are descending to Medieval levels lately. From ridiculous 'Momentum' arguments during football games with buddies, to the impossibility of history teaching to generations who believe its all a lie because the Illuminati are never mentioned. 33% of Americans believe in Conspiracy theories. In NYC, legions of young educated professionals, women I met believe medical docs are quacks, evidence based Medicine is a sham. Only holistic, homeopathic organic gluten free acupuncture will cure them. And God forbid you get vaccinated while you're dating one.
    Higher Ed should be teaching skepticism, like I learned about... but it isn't, or how good that young pharmacist be arguing with me the Government creates hurricanes with secret technology beams in Alaska to kill the East Coast? Its truly ridiculous and not as funny as it should be. Its real.
    Every bad call that decides a game, brings out "ITS ALL FIXED" by Vegas and Gangsters taking bets... by a population already believing a whole lot of other BS. I know someone who stopped watching 10 years ago, and makes fun of me for continuing to watch. They were betting though...