1. Brownie Points: Browns' Special Teams Might Be Very Special This Season

    The Cleveland Browns are heading in the right direction. In their third preseason game, the Browns beat the Tennessee Titans 23-17 on a night in Cleveland Browns Stadium that was windier than the restrooms in a Chipotle restaurant...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 376 reads 8 comments

  2. Brownie Points: What It Means to Be a Cleveland Brown

    We are Cleveland Browns fans. We have missed family reunions and cut vacations short just to watch our team play on Sunday afternoons. We have suffered through the snarky comments of co-workers and the condescension of wagon-jumping fans of every stripe

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 393 reads 14 comments

  3. Fantasy Football Is Killing My Grass

    It's true. Everywhere I look, I see FANTASY FOOTBALL magazines and FANTASY FOOTBALL newspapers and FANTASY FOOTBALL websites and FANTASY FOOTBALL hula lessons and FANTASY FOOTBALL hamster food and FANTASY FOOTBALL full-figured under-wire support...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 174 reads 9 comments

  4. NFL to Institute "Random Suspension Policy" to Save Time (Satire)

    In light of the record number of suspensions handed out by the National Football League’s Commissioner’s office this offseason, Roger Goodell has announced that the NFL will begin randomly suspending its players in an effort to save time...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 210 reads 8 comments

  5. NFL Hall Of Fame Game to Exclude Actual Hall-Of-Famers...Again (Satire)

    Where, I ask, is the outrage? For more years than this reporter is willing to count (let's say six) the "Nefarious Football League" has celebrated the unofficial opening of its season by hosting what it misleadingly calls the "Hall of Fame" game...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 378 reads 7 comments

  6. Rock Announces Retirement; Paper, Scissors Stunned

    The way the world chooses who goes first in games of H-O-R-S-E, who takes out the garbage, and who is in charge of the remote control, just got a little more complicated today...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 210 reads 16 comments

  7. Coach Eric Mangini Believes Browns Have A Chance To Be Mediocre (Satire)

    The bar has been raised and the gauntlet has been thrown. Speaking at a log-rolling and pancake-eating festival in Northern Ohio earlier this week, Cleveland Browns head coach Eric Mangini let ...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 884 reads 9 comments

  8. Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis Concerned No One Is Feeling Him (Satire)

    Only a few short weeks before the Baltimore Ravens open their training camp for the 2009 season, All-Pro linebacker Ray Lewis has gone on record as saying he has serious doubts that anyone on the team is feeling him...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 1,292 reads 5 comments

  9. Dallas QB Tony Romo Calls Giant RB Brandon Jacobs A Poopyhead (Satire)

    Just days after New York Giants running back Brandon Jacobs told an interviewer that Tony Romo was "not that good" and that "he's not that effective," the Cowboy signal caller retaliated by referring ...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 1,300 reads 20 comments

  10. Brett Favre Vs. Tarvaris Jackson: Do the Math (Satire)

    The Minnesota Vikings have been in talks with Brett Favre, former Green Bay Packers and New York Jets quarterback, to take over the reigns of their offense...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 1,705 reads 17 comments

  11. Cleveland Indians Baseball: "Your Slogan Here"

    The Cleveland Indians, a team that entered this season with high hopes and lofty expectations, now at the All-Star Break find themselves the laughing stock of the entire league...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 639 reads 10 comments

  12. Fantasy Football: Dude, Your Kicker Sucks

    Well, I hope you're happy, Frank. Taking a kicker in the last round... What are you, lobotomized? I mean, did you really think you were gonna get a Hartley or an Elam in round 15? Yeah, and I'm Tom Brady's butt chin...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 161 reads 9 comments

  13. Female Cleveland Indians Fans to Tribe Brass: Sizemore Matters (Satire)

    This article is rated PG-13 by the author for minor innuendo and major stupidity. In the midst of another daunting baseball season, the Cleveland Indians find themselves in a familiar place this July...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 378 reads 4 comments

  14. Fantasy Football: Good Advice You Should Ignore

    In every field, in every walk of life, there will always be someone who claims to know more about a subject than you do. We call these people "butt-holes...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 260 reads 6 comments

  15. Tennessee Titan LenDale White Begins New Diet, Gains Seventeen Pounds (Satire)

    Still smarting from a critical fumble in a playoff loss last January, and hoping to be seen as more than just a short-yardage runner, Tennessee Titans running back LenDale White began a self-imposed ...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 5 years ago 671 reads 6 comments

  16. Shaquille O'Neal Announces He Will Only Play Half the Court in '09-'10 (Satire)

    In a nod to former coach Phil Jackson, new Cavaliers center Shaquille O'Neal has announced that he will be pulling back a little from the game he loves so much in order to spend more time with friends and family...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about over 5 years ago 779 reads 3 comments

  17. Cleveland Indians Are Concerned Mascot, Slider, Is Not Really Trying

    Cleveland Indians mascot Slider has done a lot for his favorite team over the years. He's boogied to the radio hits of the day on the roof of the team's bullpen while wearing crutches...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about over 5 years ago 2,907 reads 2 comments

  18. Mark Sanchez Selects "Reese's Pieces" from Jets' Vending Machine

    Today, in the presence of several awestruck New York Jets coaches and teammates, future Hall of Famer Mark Sanchez gave an impressive demonstration of his decisiveness and incredible hand-eye ...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about over 5 years ago 845 reads 8 comments

  19. For What It's Worth...There Are Too Many Cry Babies in the NFL

    Chris Samuels will not be getting a Christmas card from the New York Giants this year. The Washington Redskins' offensive lineman was accused of dirty play by Mathias Kiwanuka, a defensive end for the current Super Bowl Champions...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 6 years ago 504 reads 25 comments

  20. Sports Lists I Would Most Like to Read on Bleacher Report

    Lately, the Bleacher Report has seen articles breaking out lists of funny quotes, strange names of athletes, and the oddest Olympic sports. Like most folks, I enjoy reading them and agreeing or disagreeing with their rankings...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 6 years ago 434 reads 8 comments

  21. He Kexin, Olympic Gymnast: What's in a Name?

    Hey, Bud! Oh hi, Lou. How's things? Fine, fine. Say, Bud... Yes? You're a fan of the Summer Olympics, right? Oh, yes. Wonderful. Spectacular.....

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 6 years ago 26 reads 7 comments

  22. Fantasy Football Headlines from the Upcoming 2008 NFL Season

    What if you could see into the future? How much of an advantage would it be for a fantasy-football owner to know the major stories in the NFL before they ever happened? Wouldn't you like to find out? Well, today you can...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 6 years ago 779 reads 18 comments

  23. Are NFL Preseason Ticket Prices Too Low?

    Yeah. So, welcome to my article. I know why you're here. You want to know if the humor guy has finally slipped a nail file past the brain warden. NFL preseason ticket prices...too low? Um, right...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 6 years ago 1,655 reads 22 comments

  24. Brett Favre's Jersey Number Is Retired From Entire Universe by God

    In what can only be described as an event of epic proportions, the creator of the universe has taken a definitive position on the Brett Favre debate by completely eliminating from existence the ...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 6 years ago 1,312 reads 16 comments

  25. Fantasy Football: Are You Smarter Than a 5th Rounder?

    I'm forever blowing bubbles. I'm not talking about those soapy spheres so popular at backyard parties or in low budget music videos (which I realize for some of you are basically the same thing)...

    Jim Cantrell Written by Jim Cantrell about 6 years ago 507 reads 4 comments