Favorite Athletes

Doink the Clown

Favorite Sports Teams

Miami Dolphins, Florida Marlins, Miami Heat, Florida Panthers, Man United

Favorite Coaches

Greyhound

All-Time Sports Moment

I went to see my mate play football for the local team up the park, and he jumped over a short fence to retrieve the ball and collapsed with cramp

Most Memorable Game Attended

Dolphins beating the Jets on Monday Night, October 2009 -- it was so satisfying getting revenge for last year when all those those drunken & obnoxious New Yorkers got in my face after they won, as I was able to get extremely drunk and obnoxious this time

Most Unbreakable Sports Record

Ted Ginn's 783,000,309 consecutive dropped passes

Ruth or Mays?

Girl's names

Unitas or Montana?

Marino (more for his acting in Ace Ventura than for anything he ever did on the field)

Jordan or Russell?

Scott Howard (the real Scott who won with heart and determination, not as the Wolf)

Gretzky or Orr?

Umm Gretzky I guess because I watched an emotional documentary on him once and got a bit teary eyed. Actually thinking about it my girlfriend made fun of me for that. Screw you Gretzky.

Pele or Maradona?

George Best -- Pele is in those dumb erectile dysfunction commercials and Maradona was a coke fiend who screwed England in '86

Federer or Sampras?

I only watch tennis when the hot slutty females are playing

Tiger or Nicklaus?

Golf??? Who the hell cares about golf??!

Petty or Earnhardt?

Who?

Schumacher or Senna?

What?

ACC, Big 12, Big East, Big Ten, Pac-12 or SEC?

Ah, the NCAA where athletes play purely for honour and glory, and not the million-dollar contracts that are waiting for them in a couple of years time