1. Doc's Strange Son, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Austin Rivers

    I realized the End Times were upon us when Austin Rivers began taunting one of the world's best basketball players. It was the third quarter of Game 3, and the Los Angeles Clippers were smacking a Houston Rockets team into further oblivion...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 21 days ago 5,557 reads 12 comments

  2. Hugh Jackman Deadlifts 410 Pounds to Join 1,000-Pound Club, Is Not Human

    While the "dad bod" blight sweeps over the nation, leaving a trail of sweatpants and apathy in its wake, Australian actor/muscle glacier Hugh Jackman is here to remind you what a real man looks like...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 21 days ago 173,581 reads 224 comments

  3. Philadelphia 76ers Reveal New Team Logos and Uniform Unveiling Date

    Rebranding is a tricky and thankless undertaking for sports franchises. If you do a good job, people on the Internet will complain and mock you. If you do a bad job, all of the people on the Internet will complain and mock you roundly...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 22 days ago 125,451 reads 112 comments

  4. Elvis Andrus Is Tormenting Adrian Beltre with Head Taps Again

    Like the real-life Family Guy chicken fight , Elvis Andrus and Adrian Beltre remain locked in an unending battle of wits and reflexes...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 22 days ago 52,901 reads 25 comments

  5. Internet Churns Out 'Top Gun' Memes After David Blatt's 'Fighter Pilot' Remark

    After being called out for nearly doing a very dumb thing at the end of Sunday's Game 4 thriller against the Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers head coach David Blatt said a very dumb thing in defense of his prior near-dumbness...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 22 days ago 45,317 reads 63 comments

  6. Spearfisher Captures Close Encounter with Great White Shark on GoPro Camera

    Adding another chapter to the constantly expanding tome Why the Ocean Is a Vast Abyss of Unspeakable Horrors You Should Avoid at All Times , a spearfishing enthusiast has uploaded footage of his open-sea encounter with a huge great white shark..

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 22 days ago 154,524 reads 60 comments

  7. Alexander Ovechkin Guarantees Game 7 Win over New York Rangers

    UPDATE: May 13. The New York Post has a message for Ovechkin and the Capitals about their guarantees of a win in Game 7. Per The Tennessean 's Adam Vingam: Classic Post. ---End of Update-- UPDATE: May 12...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 22 days ago 48,018 reads 136 comments

  8. Frustrated Dwight Howard Invites Heckler to 'Come Out Here' onto Court

    The Houston Rockets were once a basketball team. They had great players—really talented guys who thumped on the NBA 's hard-bitten Western Conference to the tune of 56 regular-season wins in 2014-15...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 23 days ago 124,123 reads 279 comments

  9. AFL Player Gets Ejected from Game, Hits Child in Stands with Thrown Helmet

    Portland Thunder cornerback Quincy Butler is out of a job after an incident that occurred during Saturday’s away game against the Philadelphia Soul. Butler, who spent time on NFL rosters with the St...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 25 days ago 139,978 reads 80 comments

  10. George Hill Is Trying Out the Dennis Rodman Look with Platinum Blond Hair Dye

    Sometimes you've got to mix it up. Whether it be trying a new place for lunch or changing your name to "Popeye Flores" and fading into Bolivian , keeping the mind and body guessing is key to retaining one's sanity...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 25 days ago 34,605 reads 68 comments

  11. Terrified Robert Allenby Allows Raccoon to Play Through at Players Championship

    You may remember Robert Allenby, the golfer who in January told the world he was kidnapped and beaten during a night out in Hawaii but had his story called into question ...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 25 days ago 24,208 reads 21 comments

  12. Jon Stewart's Message for Tom Brady: 'You Cheating F--k'

    In Revelation, the Bible lists a number of specific and horrible happenings that will afflict the world when the end times draw nigh. Among them are clouds of locusts, the Earth's rivers turning to blood and a 72-hour pan-network marathon of Castle .

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 25 days ago 208,635 reads 300 comments

  13. Here's a Picture of Tim Duncan Indoor Skydiving in a Poofy Suit

    Tim Duncan has some heavy questions to ask himself this offseason. Should he retire? Can he physically sustain another NBA season? Should he eat this funnel cake and ...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 25 days ago 57,203 reads 58 comments

  14. Keith Olbermann Says NFL Should Suspend Tom Brady for a Year

    ESPN takesman Keith Olbermann dutifully went about delivering the hotness his occupation requires Thursday, saying the NFL should suspend Tom Brady for his involvement in the Deflategate scandal...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 26 days ago 63,673 reads 285 comments

  15. Carmelo Anthony and a Bunch of Clippers Players to Cameo in 'TMNT' Sequel

    The sequel to 2014’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is already in production, and all evidence suggests one scene will feature a basketball game chock-full of stars...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 26 days ago 36,427 reads 45 comments

  16. Report: Matt Barnes Apologized to James Harden's Mother for In-Game Insults

    Matt Barnes is a pretty huge jerk. This is less an opinion than it is an observation. The man is an enforcer—the guy who comes into your house, washes your whites and colors together, and pees in the Keurig before leaving...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 26 days ago 180,189 reads 318 comments

  17. Did a Cleveland Cavaliers Fan Spit Dip on Joakim Noah During Game 2?

    Joakim Noah of the Chicago Bulls has done much to endear himself to the good people of Ohio in recent weeks...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 26 days ago 125,715 reads 457 comments

  18. Bob Uecker and Joe Block Were Trapped in Broadcast Booth During Brewers Game

    The Milwaukee Brewers beat the Los Angeles Dodgers 6-3 Wednesday night. The victory marked a quality win for a team that’s struggled out of the gate this season, and it’s ...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 26 days ago 17,812 reads 11 comments

  19. Pope Francis Is Now an Honorary Harlem Globetrotter and Baller Cum Laude

    The Harlem Globetrotters visited the Pope, which, I must confess, is a fantastic sentence to read and/or write...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 26 days ago 8,039 reads 23 comments

  20. Shaquille O'Neal Fell on 'Inside the NBA' and the Internet Memes Keep Coming

    As a rare change of pace, an absurd and funny thing occurred on Inside the NBA that was unscripted and completely out of left field...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 27 days ago 442,768 reads 113 comments

  21. Internet Reacts to Text Messages Published in Wells Report on Deflategate

    Attorney Ted Wells published the findings of his NFL -commissioned inquiry into the New England Patriots ' Deflategate scandal on Wednesday...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 27 days ago 208,075 reads 264 comments

  22. Paul George Poses with Bass, Says He Won a Fishing Tournament

    You've lost Paul George , Indiana. He's gone now. Possibly forever. A far more insidious force than injury has claimed George, an affliction you can't ice or immunize against—competitive relaxation...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 27 days ago 30,960 reads 47 comments

  23. D.J. Vanderwerf Shines as 3-Sport High School Athlete with Prosthetic Leg

    Can he scramble? Will it pop off if he gets hit? Will it hurt the players who hit him? These are the questions D.J. Vanderwerf faced when he entered the realm of high school sports as the only young man in his area playing with an artificial limb...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 27 days ago 43,644 reads 29 comments

  24. Let This Insane Table Tennis Rally Remind You of Just How Uncoordinated You Are

    Ma Long is the No. 1 table tennis player in the world, as recognized by the International Table Tennis Federation...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 28 days ago 213,142 reads 62 comments

  25. Tony Allen Says Stephen Curry's Skill Set Isn't Anything New to Him

    Stephen Curry is good. I guess we’ll give him that. The Golden State Warriors point guard is averaging 31...

    Dan Carson Written by Dan Carson about 28 days ago 81,248 reads 317 comments