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Giant Anteater Devours Small Man
I may exude confidence in the betting arena, but when it comes to relationships I’m somewhat insecure. It takes me a long while to reach the stage where I feel comfortable enough with a partner to move things on to a physical level...
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I’m a Berby Girl…Ouch
It may appear unfair to a cynical minority, but nepotism remains as common as Coleen McLoughlin. I certainly have my father to thank for my first job—he was a kerb-crawler.Dimitar Berbatov also has his father to thank for his career...
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Hel Bent For Leather
No man is an island, with the possible exception of Frank Lampard.We all crave companionship, but I crossed the line in my pursuit of Helen Chamberlain. I sneaked in to the Soccer AM studios and took a few unauthorised photos to publish on my website...
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Ade and a Bet
Even though I’m the proud owner of a Y chromosome, I love reality TV. I even applied for ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’, but I didn’t fancy wearing a white suit.I had a much better time on ‘The X Factor’...
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A Cute Little Growler
In many ways I’m like a dwarf—I find it hard to put my hand in my pocket. I never waste money on a newspaper and only the promise of naked pictures of Cheryl Tweedy would lead me to splash out on a magazine...
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Egg and Chips: Por Favor Grasos
It infuriates me when people are judged on their appearance. Rafa Benitez may be a tubby mess, but opposing supporters do not have the right to abuse him based on appearance...
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Squealed with a Kiss
I’ve never really understood the need for foreign travel. It makes no sense to leave a perfectly good country for a significantly poorer one; although this is never a real problem for the Welsh...
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Beijing 2008: Shake It on the Chin
The Olympic Games have been a real disappointment. The only event that I was desperate to watch was the diving, but it turned out to be just a few lunatics jumping into a pool...
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Let Seeping Dogs Lie
Everybody tells the occasional white lie. In a drunken bid to appear cool, I once claimed to have slept with over fifty women. My friends are now suspicious about a revised figure of five: luckily, the police can back me up on three cases...
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EPL: Weekend Tips / A Lazy "Worst Of" Compilation
Saying goodbye to the football season is very much like giving birth to a ginger child: after nine months of optimism, hope and anguish, you’re left with a genuine feeling of disappointment...
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Thai Hard: With a Vengeance
Tubby Brazilian Ronaldo may be one of the greatest players to ever grace a football pitch, but he’s definitely a poor role model...
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EPL Handicapping: I’ve Just About Had an Oeuf
At one time or another, we all make a mistake of gargantuan proportions. When the wife asked for a potential destination for a short trip, I foolishly answered ‘France’...
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EPL Predictions: There Ste Goes Again
As a society, we’re obsessed with appearance. I blame teen magazines for perpetuating the myth that skinniness equals beauty...
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EPL: Red Bull – It Gives You Wins
I do enjoy a moral dilemma. An intellectual friend asked if I would kill a chicken to save a chicken’s life. I honestly replied that I’d happily slaughter a chicken if I missed breakfast...
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Lock Stock and Two Smoking Carols
The adult film industry has many knockers, but I remain a fully-fledged supporter. My only possible critique would be that the storylines occasionally lack realism...
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EPL Odds: My Big Fat Weak Wedding
Marriage is like a chicken vindaloo, it’s something you have to try at least once, even though you know you’ll later regret it. I experienced my seven-year itch quite early, it was on the honeymoon...
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EPL Forecasting: A Mini Weapon of Mass Destruction
Even though I was brought up as a Catholic, I have never followed a spiritual path. I blame an over-zealous Priest for my descent into heresy; he was constantly on my back when I was young...
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EPL Odds: There’s Life in the Old Dog…Unfortunately
Like Wayne Rooney, I’m a lover of the old. I’m never happier than when some wrinkled old seaside-bungalow hogger is regaling me with tales of a bygone age...
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Prince Harry goes to War for Media Opportunity
Like Martin Luther King and Gandhi, I’m a fan of passive resistance; but there are some things in life that we have to fight for. For me, it’s a baby’s smile, the love of a mute woman or more affordable prices at the petrol pump...
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As One Door Shuts...A Nutter One Opens
For some inexplicable reason, the subject of mental illness remains taboo. I am convinced that if we debate the topic in a mature and sensitive fashion, we could raise awareness of the constant unnecessary stigmatisation of these unfortunate lunatics...
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EPL Handicapping: A Dodgy Ruby and a Stuffed Nan
In a week where Mohammed Al Fayed has pointed an accusing finger at Tony Blair, the Nazis, Dracula and a crocodile, it seems odd that Richard Scudamore has emerged as football’s leading figure of fun...
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EPL Betting: Strawberry Fields For Heather
I absolutely despise Valentine's Day. Conformity demands that I waste good money on a pointless gift and a meaningless card, even though the wife has spent the last 364 days of the year criticizing me for being lazy...
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EPL Betting: Wayne Drops Keep Falling on Rooney's Head
I am no stranger to a lazy stereotype. I’m half-Irish and I’m married to a Scot, so some people believe we stay at home all day smoking crack and peeling potatoes; which is only half true...
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EPL Betting: The Hurly Bird Catches the Worm
Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that fidelity remains the cornerstone of a successful relationship. I would never cheat on my wife. Unless the opportunity arose. I have serious doubts over my wife’s respect for monogamy...
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Driving Miss Dozy
Statistics are normally my trusted ally, but even close friends can occasionally fall out. Research claims to prove that men are over 50% more likely to be involved in a road accident than women, ...


