Geoff Zochodne Article Archive

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Are My Hogs in the House?: A Tribute To the Miami Dolphins' O-Line

Michael Oher may have a fancy movie starring the timeless Sandra Bullock (who's carving out her own cougar niche), but the real story is the Miami Dolphins' offensive line...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 10 days ago 197 reads 1 comments
The Tragically Hip, Toronto Raptors, and a Glimmer Of Hope

In the immortal words of The Tragically Hip, "It can't be Nashville every night." Confusing right? I mean, I'm writing about the Toronto Raptors, there's no team in Nashville, and The Tragically Hip once wrote a song about a polar bear named Gus...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 18 days ago 305 reads 2 comments
The Phinal Word: How the Miami Dolphins Are Yearning To Break Free

You can plot. You can scheme. You can plan. You can mastermind. You can prepare. But if you don't have the firepower, the big boys of the NFL are going to beat you...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 20 days ago 487 reads 0 comments
Toronto Raptors: Less Is More For CB4

Last night in New Orleans, the Toronto Raptors displayed a depth that's been missing from the team for years. It was refreshing to watch as the Raps slowly ground the Hornets into dust, and then as they definitively blew them away in the second half...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 23 days ago 405 reads 1 comments
Miami Dolphins: The Number 34

Have you ever seen that one Jim Carrey movie? It wasn't the one where he solves pet crimes, or the one where he finds a mask, or even the one where him and Jeff Daniels prove that IQ is just a state of mind...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 24 days ago 282 reads 0 comments
Foul Ball: The Toronto Raptors' Love Affair with the Whistle

Well the Toronto Raptors had themselves an interesting week. Why don't we give them a hand? (Wait for it.) (Wait for it.) (C'mon Geoff keep it togeth-) BECAUSE THEY SURE DID IT FOR THEIR OPPONENTS! I'm not above hackiness...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 27 days ago 289 reads 1 comments
The Phinal Word: The Miami Dolphins and the Faulk Effect

There are plenty of reasons the Miami Dolphins lost on Sunday. Ted Ginn's drops. Chad Henne's inexperience. The New Orleans Saints' unstoppable offense. Tony Sparano's record skipping a beat...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about about 1 month ago 322 reads 2 comments
Miami Dolphins-New Orleans Saints: Fighting For The Love Of The Tuna

Bill Parcells. Oh, you sly fox. People may be fooled into thinking this Miami-New Orleans game is just about football. But it's so much more. It's two sons fighting for their father's affections, and it's going to be a bitter family affair...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about about 1 month ago 608 reads 4 comments
Toronto Raptors: A Team for Whom Winning Is More Than Half the Battle

What if Shakespeare had only written half of Romeo and Juliet ? It would be a nice story about falling in love with no consequences whatsoever; no one gets poisoned, stabbed, or has a thumb bitten at them...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about about 1 month ago 508 reads 3 comments
The Phinal Word: The Miami Dolphins vs. the Rule Book

The Miami Dolphins and New York Jets continued their fine tradition of hating each other by playing a very entertaining Monday nighter. Really the only words for it was: couch-defying...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about about 1 month ago 450 reads 2 comments
The Phinal Word: The Miami Dolphins' Pass Rush Has Come to Town

Two weeks ago, Chad Pennington got hurt. Miami fans everywhere were screaming a) Chad Henne! b) Pat White! or c) NOOOOOOO! Henne was the only quarterback the Fins had available to suit up against the Chargers that afternoon; Pat White being inactive...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about about 1 month ago 614 reads 2 comments
The New England Patriots: Spooking the NFL One Week at a Time

First things first. I'm taking nothing away from the New England Patriots, who went out and tamed the Baltimore Ravens in a humbling manner. Humbling. The Pats have gone out and humbled two good sophomore quarterbacks in consecutive weeks...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about about 1 month ago 923 reads 4 comments
M.I.A.: The Miami Dolphins' Return Game

I don't think I've ever been more scared to watch football than I am to watch this Sunday. And it's not because my TV is situated on an Indian burial ground. Because that's just not the correct term (it's Native American, no?)...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about about 1 month ago 280 reads 2 comments
The Phinal Word: Are The Miami Dolphins Scared Of The Deep End?

I'll be blunt: the most excited I got all Sunday was when Chad Pennington's nose exploded. Not because of my insatiable bloodlust, because you know, it's insatiable...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 2 months ago 306 reads 2 comments
The Phinal Word: Positive Thinking (and Drinking)

I've run such a gamut of emotion since Monday night that my schizophrenia developed schizophrenia. And we're actually quite happy now. Being an optimist is hard, especially when pessimism is easier than me after a few beers...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 2 months ago 302 reads 0 comments
The Phinal Word: Don't Tread on These Miami Dolphins

Lost in the trauma that was Week One, was something very reassuring. The Miami Dolphins have a whale of a run defense. (That will be the first of many nautical puns in my Dolphin writing career...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 2 months ago 904 reads 1 comments
Five Reasons to Believe in The Miami Dolphins

The football bourgeoisie have already deigned the Miami Dolphins will finish with an average record and end up out of playoff contention. And as it is written, so shall it be, right? A phrase comes to mind: That's why they play the game...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 2 months ago 838 reads 4 comments
How to Keep Watching the Toronto Blue Jays

You know the Toronto Blue Jays are having a bad season when they start shattering records for attendance, but not in the good way. This week had two of the lowest attended games in Blue Jay history as Toronto squared off against the Minnesota Twins...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 2 months ago 173 reads 1 comments
The Roy Halladay-Vince Carter Correlation

Roy Halladay has been noticeably distant lately. Not from the media or the team (well, maybe a little), but from the old Roy Halladay. He's maintaining a 4.71 ERA, 1.41 WHIP, and opposing batters are hitting ...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 2 months ago 209 reads 5 comments
Buck Lyle'd: Overybay and His Future With The Toronto Blue Jays

Allow me to apologize for my almost week-long absence from the Bleachers (I know I've been missed like poison ivy, but I'd like to think that somewhere at least my parents have been wondering), ...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 3 months ago 76 reads 0 comments
Don't Sal Yourself Short: Fasano and the Toronto Blue Jays' Catching Quandary

The Toronto Blue Jays can't catch a break this season. And hackneyed sayings aside, this brings me to my point. (A special thanks to www.drunkjaysfans.com...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 3 months ago 475 reads 2 comments
Toronto Blue Jays: A Conversation Between Roy Halladay and His Body

We enter the Toronto Blue Jays' clubhouse. Roy Halladay is watching game film of his last start against the Boston Red Sox. It is 3 a.m...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 3 months ago 224 reads 0 comments
Toronto Blue Jays: The Cito Gaston Referendum, Part Two

For the explanation and rationale (part one) for this article, please read this. We now go to the second part of my two-part Cito Gaston series; or as I like to call it, "A big waste of time"...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 3 months ago 233 reads 3 comments
Toronto Blue Jays: The Cito Gaston Referendum, Part One

I am an unabashed Cito Gaston fan; he can do no wrong in my eyes. Every day I wake up hoping he has finally inked a deal for making books on tape. I would pay an insane amount of money for Cito to guide me through the pages of any literary classic...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 3 months ago 167 reads 2 comments
Alex Rios, We Hardly Knew Ye (or Did We Know You Too Much?)

We are here to mourn the waiver claiming of Alexis Israel Rios as he passes on into the Great Unknown (also known as Chicago)...

Written by Geoff Zochodne about 3 months ago 130 reads 0 comments

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Geoff Zochodne Article Archive

Are My Hogs in the House?: A Tribute To the Miami Dolphins' O-Line

The Tragically Hip, Toronto Raptors, and a Glimmer Of Hope

The Phinal Word: How the Miami Dolphins Are Yearning To Break Free

Toronto Raptors: Less Is More For CB4

Miami Dolphins: The Number 34

Foul Ball: The Toronto Raptors' Love Affair with the Whistle

The Phinal Word: The Miami Dolphins and the Faulk Effect

Miami Dolphins-New Orleans Saints: Fighting For The Love Of The Tuna

Toronto Raptors: A Team for Whom Winning Is More Than Half the Battle

The Phinal Word: The Miami Dolphins vs. the Rule Book

The Phinal Word: The Miami Dolphins' Pass Rush Has Come to Town

The New England Patriots: Spooking the NFL One Week at a Time

M.I.A.: The Miami Dolphins' Return Game

The Phinal Word: Are The Miami Dolphins Scared Of The Deep End?

The Phinal Word: Positive Thinking (and Drinking)

The Phinal Word: Don't Tread on These Miami Dolphins

Five Reasons to Believe in The Miami Dolphins

How to Keep Watching the Toronto Blue Jays

The Roy Halladay-Vince Carter Correlation

Buck Lyle'd: Overybay and His Future With The Toronto Blue Jays

Don't Sal Yourself Short: Fasano and the Toronto Blue Jays' Catching Quandary

Toronto Blue Jays: A Conversation Between Roy Halladay and His Body

Toronto Blue Jays: The Cito Gaston Referendum, Part Two

Toronto Blue Jays: The Cito Gaston Referendum, Part One

Alex Rios, We Hardly Knew Ye (or Did We Know You Too Much?)

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