Christopher Murphy Article Archive

B/R Articles

Chicago Bears Week Whatever: Who Cares What We Learned?

I began writing this segment hoping the Bears would actually learn something from themselves and show some progress in the season toward, not necessarily the Super Bowl as genius Sports Illustrated predicted, but at least competing...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 2 days ago 307 reads 9 comments
Hey Grady, Pass the Coffee: Folgers Suing Sizemore for Nude Pics (Satire)

Folgers Coffee is suing Grady Sizemore for taking racy photos with the product under no contract with the company. "If he's going to take pictures, nude or not, with our product then we want to make some marketing points with that," a Folgers CEO said.

Written by Christopher Murphy about 3 days ago 501 reads 0 comments
Jimmy Clausen Punches Own Face, Notre Dame Enters Top 25 Boxing Poll (Satire)

In an attempt to avoid losing to another school people forgot had a football team, Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen was seen punching himself in the face outside a bar at 2 a.m. It was the best use of his arm Notre Dame fans have seen all season...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 9 days ago 1,274 reads 20 comments
Week Ten: What We Learned about the Chicago Bears...We Aren't Thankful for Them.

Just like the Chicago Bears, I press on with my mistake rather than fixing it and continue to headline my articles a week behind due to forgetting the bye week many moons ago...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 11 days ago 160 reads 5 comments
Fighting Illini Basketball Is Back and Here to Stay

After a two-year showing of complete mediocrity and borderline bad..ocrity in 2006 through 2008, the Fighting Illini of Illinois are back...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 13 days ago 674 reads 2 comments
Week Nine: What We Learned About The Chicago Bears...They Are Really Bad

NFL announcers and writers tend to over-analyze everything and repeat themselves over and over and over and over and over again, which is why I will never understand why ESPN shows NFL Live year-round...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 21 days ago 254 reads 0 comments
Week Eight: What We Learned About The Chicago Bears...They Are Bad

After a dream vacation in victory lane against the Cleveland Browns, the Chicago Bears came back to reality Sunday and were completely dominated by another solid, but beatable team in the form of the Arizona Cardinals...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 23 days ago 314 reads 1 comments
Sammy Sosa to Haunt Hall of Fame Until Gaining Entry (Satire)

Sammy Sosa has decided to bleech his skin in honor of the recently deceased, but still talked about over and over again, Michael Jackson...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 25 days ago 6,627 reads 7 comments
A Blind Monkey Could Have Managed This New York Yankees Team

Please tell me Cub fans and the media aren't going to talk about how Joe Girardi is about to win the World Series and how the Cubs passed on him for Lou Piniella...oh wait, they already did...

Written by Christopher Murphy about about 1 month ago 300 reads 2 comments
Week Seven: What We Learned about the Chicago Bears

Who knew it was possible to make a 30-6 win look mediocre, but the Chicago Bears found a way. The defense forced turnovers, which was a positive sign, however, the defensive line and offensive line were once again nowhere to be found...

Written by Christopher Murphy about about 1 month ago 488 reads 2 comments
Week Six: What We Learned About The Chicago Bears

Although I just realized it is technically week seven and actually game six, I am sticking with my mistake and am going to carry it out until the end. That's the American way...

Written by Christopher Murphy about about 1 month ago 296 reads 7 comments
McGwire Stresses Steroids To Cardinals Hitters (Satire)

"I can't push this enough," Mark McGwire said addressing his Cardinals' players. "Steroids help you hit." McGwire, former Home Run King, will return to the St. Louis Cardinals as their new hitting coach, and he has a simple slogan: "Get Big...

Written by Christopher Murphy about about 1 month ago 271 reads 1 comments
Week Five: What We Learned About The Chicago Bears

The Chicago Bears game against the Atlanta Falcons was frustrating to say the least for Bears fans. On both sides of the ball the Bears seemed to do the same thing; just give it away...

Written by Christopher Murphy about about 1 month ago 458 reads 8 comments
Chicago Bears Vs Atlanta Falcons: Revenge?

It is hard to pin-point the exact play or game which kept the Chicago Bears out of the playoffs last year. Whether it was the Carolina Panthers game, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers game, the Atlanta Falcons ...

Written by Christopher Murphy about about 1 month ago 534 reads 3 comments
Week Four: What We Learned About the Chicago Bears

Yes, it is the fourth week and we are still learning. This is far different than philosophy class in college. The Bears were finally able to win as a Super Bowl contender should against ...

Written by Christopher Murphy about about 1 month ago 1,058 reads 11 comments
Week Three: What We Learned About the Chicago Bears

Bears fans really shouldn't be too excited over this win. Yes, it was another nice showing by Jay Cutler to bring the Bears back from a deficit, but who did they beat? They beat a bad Seahawks ...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 2 months ago 514 reads 9 comments
Week Two: What We Learned About the Chicago Bears

No more phone calls about bringing back Kyle Orton, Rex Grossman, or some mystical beast named Kex Ortman this week from Bears fans. Jay is our quarterback...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 2 months ago 826 reads 4 comments
Week One: What We Learned About the Chicago Bears

It was just one game, but many Chicago Bears fans feel it is the end of the world, and are calling for the returns of people they forgot they whined about...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 2 months ago 500 reads 27 comments
How ESPN Will Help Derek Jeter Win AL MVP

Just as they did last year with Dustin Pedroia, ESPN has begun their campaign for Derek Jeter for MVP; dropping his name any chance they get when discussing MVP candidates...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 3 months ago 646 reads 100 comments
The White Sox Are Who I Thought They Were

With another loss to the Red Sox, the White Sox are showing how incredibly mediocre they are. As is their record of 63-63...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 3 months ago 165 reads 8 comments
MLB: The National League's Silent Assassins

Although my American League Silent Assassins article received very few reads, the National League version still needs to be done...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 3 months ago 57 reads 1 comments
MLB: The American League's Silent Assassins

All teams have those players who, outside the team's fans, people do not seem to recognize as important. Whether they don't get the press, aren't flashy, or are simply too boring to care about, ...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 3 months ago 59 reads 2 comments
Chicago Finding Talent in Strange Hairstyle (Humor)

With the growing anticipation around Jay Cutler to bring the Chicago Bears back to the playoffs since their Super Bowl run in 2006 and the continuing success of rookie Gordon Beckham, Chicago has decided to start scouting talent based on hair...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 3 months ago 173 reads 2 comments
Porcello Blames Bees for Running Away from Youkilis (Satire)

Rick Porcello, starting pitcher for the Detroit Tigers, was embarrassed after his performance last night. It wasn't for what he did on the mound, however, but rather the way he scampered off it...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 3 months ago 1,001 reads 7 comments
Fighting Illini Schedule: That's a Spicy Meatball

As the Fighting Illini attempt to make up for their underachieving 2008 campaign, they will have to start with quite the kick to the teeth...

Written by Christopher Murphy about 3 months ago 316 reads 3 comments

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Christopher Murphy Article Archive

Chicago Bears Week Whatever: Who Cares What We Learned?

Hey Grady, Pass the Coffee: Folgers Suing Sizemore for Nude Pics (Satire)

Jimmy Clausen Punches Own Face, Notre Dame Enters Top 25 Boxing Poll (Satire)

Week Ten: What We Learned about the Chicago Bears...We Aren't Thankful for Them.

Fighting Illini Basketball Is Back and Here to Stay

Week Nine: What We Learned About The Chicago Bears...They Are Really Bad

Week Eight: What We Learned About The Chicago Bears...They Are Bad

Sammy Sosa to Haunt Hall of Fame Until Gaining Entry (Satire)

A Blind Monkey Could Have Managed This New York Yankees Team

Week Seven: What We Learned about the Chicago Bears

Week Six: What We Learned About The Chicago Bears

McGwire Stresses Steroids To Cardinals Hitters (Satire)

Week Five: What We Learned About The Chicago Bears

Chicago Bears Vs Atlanta Falcons: Revenge?

Week Four: What We Learned About the Chicago Bears

Week Three: What We Learned About the Chicago Bears

Week Two: What We Learned About the Chicago Bears

Week One: What We Learned About the Chicago Bears

How ESPN Will Help Derek Jeter Win AL MVP

The White Sox Are Who I Thought They Were

MLB: The National League's Silent Assassins

MLB: The American League's Silent Assassins

Chicago Finding Talent in Strange Hairstyle (Humor)

Porcello Blames Bees for Running Away from Youkilis (Satire)

Fighting Illini Schedule: That's a Spicy Meatball

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