1. Philadelphia Phillies Slumping Offense: What They Need Is a Good Dose of Poe

    I’m excited that the baseball season is in full swing. My husband was so bored in the offseason, I had to fake a bladder infection just to get some sleep...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 2 years ago 696 reads 23 comments

  2. Philadelphia Phillies Second Annual Bucket List—From a Babe's Take

    As the title says, this is my second annual bucket list— Phillies style. I hate the redundancy of writing a totally self-explanatory title and then reaffirming the topic ...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about over 2 years ago 1,026 reads 20 comments

  3. Oh Come All Lee Faithful, Joyful And… Well, You Get The Point

    I’ll be honest. I don’t watch postseason trades. I find them as futile as foreplay after forty or light beer chasers...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about over 2 years ago 958 reads 8 comments

  4. MLB Playoffs: My Dad Said, 'Don't Pick on the Heavy Guys.'

    After the Phillies failed in their League Championship quest, I planned a hard luck blog in my head. While words festered in there like a zit from a chocolate Ding Dong, I asked my dad to share a story I’d once heard him tell...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about over 2 years ago 1,411 reads 6 comments

  5. I Know How To Get Jayson Werth To Stay—And It's Legal...Somewhere

    With the Phillies ’ postseason sweep of the Reds , I thought it was time to pay homage. I’ll start: When it comes to Phillies pitching, there’s definitely something in the H20...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about over 2 years ago 2,086 reads 8 comments

  6. Roy Halladay Blanked the Cincinnati Reds—Is That a Double Entredre?

    When it comes to describing the emotions of a middle-aged woman who witnessed Roy Halladay ’s once-in-a-lifetime postseason feat, I simply don’t have the words...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about over 2 years ago 386 reads 6 comments

  7. Mommas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Sports Writers

    When you do stand-up comedy you’re supposed to start with your second best stuff and finish with your finest stuff. That eliminates anything to do with my boobs. My husband says that eliminates any chance I have of doing stand-up...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about over 2 years ago 452 reads 14 comments

  8. Philadelphia Phillies: Speak Softly and Hope for a Big Stick (Satire)

    I woke up with a stiff neck. The problem is that it lasted more than four hours. For a second, I thought my husband slipped me some Viagra. Someone definitely slipped the Phillies something...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 503 reads 2 comments

  9. Ode To Carlos Ruiz or If It Weren't for Those New Stalker Laws

    This morning I was greeted by a hair ball, a pet puke, and an offensive odor. Speaking of offensive, I should blog. I’ll start by singing the accolades of my favorite major league catcher...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 2,023 reads 13 comments

  10. Philadelphia Phillies: The Placido Polanco Effect

    So, I’m watching TV waiting for these people to get eaten by sharks when a thought crosses my mind: They can’t get eaten—they’re telling the story. But wait...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 937 reads 6 comments

  11. NL East Race: The Devil Wears Prado

    Things have certainly not been going well. It might be the Year of the Pitcher somewhere, but not in Philadelphia. I’m sorry. Perhaps that wasn’t supportive. Let’s petition to focus only the positives...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 330 reads 0 comments

  12. My Cliff Lee Quandary: All My Ex's Live in Texas

    I drive a Honda CRV. It might be the first of its kind; it could be the prototype. There is nothing modern about it...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 383 reads 0 comments

  13. Philadelphia Phillies: Who's Not Enjoying This?

    Yesterday, my son wanted to go to the Dairy Queen. Since I’m trying to eat healthy, I inquired about the selections they had that didn’t resemble candy. The girl offered me a chocolate covered banana...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 125 reads 0 comments

  14. Philadelphia Phillies: There's Got To Be a Morning After

    Charlie Manuel shuffled the lineup again. That’s good, I like adding something new to the same old routine. Just like me, Charlie must have a drawer he goes to when things go stale...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 247 reads 2 comments

  15. Philadelphia Phillies: What's Not To Love About Interleague Play?

    Some people like dogs. Some people only like big dogs. I don’t blame them. Big dogs are real dogs—a man’s dog. They eat a man-sized meal and take a man-sized crap...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 162 reads 4 comments

  16. Philadelphia Phillies: Who Just Pitched 36-24-36?

    Roy Halladay ’s figure might be far from perfect, but Saturday he threw a 10. I watched Roy’s own personal Man Show fittingly on a girl's night out...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 355 reads 5 comments

  17. Philadelphia Phillies: Just Another Reason to Rauuuuuuuul!

    Finally…time for a blog about something other than the Phillies’ struggles. It's like a long awaited warm summer breeze. Okay, maybe it's not that refreshing, but it's better than hearing, "Mom, the cat puked again...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 100 reads 1 comments

  18. Philadelphia Phillies: It's Gone!

    Wow. It’s not going well. I don’t need to recap how poorly the Phillies have performed recently. It’s like the pharmacy is plumb out of Viagra. The stats say it all...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about almost 3 years ago 168 reads 2 comments

  19. What Jimmy Rollins Can Learn From Terry Francona

    “You can do a lot with two inches.” That’s what my son said while pondering his binder preferences at Staples. Maybe you can. You can also do a lot with two pitches...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about 3 years ago 173 reads 1 comments

  20. Jayson Werth of the Philadelphia Phillies: Here's Your Sign

    My husband had to work on Mother’s Day, so when he rushed in the door about three o'clock, he was breathless. “Happy Mother’s Day,” he panted. “How’s your day going?” “Great,” I said...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about 3 years ago 406 reads 6 comments

  21. Philadelphia Phillies: Streaking and Stretching in Section 145

    We packed in the car to attend our first game of the season. After fighting the rowdy crowd, we took our seats just as the game started. That’s when the calls from the crowd brought to mind a memory...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about 3 years ago 185 reads 7 comments

  22. Philadelphia Phillies Continue Division Skid: Who Ya Gonna Call?

    The Phils were desperate for one of two things before they left San Francisco: a win or a day off. They got both—just in time to settle down for a nine inning nap. After last night’s 9-1 slaughter by the Mets, Charlie took the podium...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about 3 years ago 193 reads 3 comments

  23. Philadelphia Phillies: Band-Aids®, Boo-Boos, and Uh-Ohs

    This morning I chased a rogue eyebrow hair for 46 tries. Then I opened the patio door and threw my cheap tweezers as far into the woods as I could. Now I know why people pay $10 for a pair of tweezers...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about 3 years ago 199 reads 0 comments

  24. A Philadelphia Phillies Fan Bucket List, Complete With Jayson Werth

    As I sit here gazing at my complimentary Phillie of the Month calendar, a problem occurs to me: they’re all fully dressed...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about 3 years ago 473 reads 2 comments

  25. Philadelphia Phillies: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

    When the Phils lose, don’t get down. I’ve found that a really fun way to pass the time is to go to the pet shop, find a big cage of mice, and watch them fight for position on their wheel...

    Flattish Poe Written by Flattish Poe about 3 years ago 152 reads 0 comments