Joe Cottage Article Archive

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Why Darren McFadden Should Win the Heisman Trophy

One game. That's all it takes: one game.One game should be enough to get Darren McFadden the Heisman Trophy. College football is about moments—about big players rising to the occasion in big games...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 1,001 reads 13 comments
What No One's Saying About Chris Benoit

I don't mean to burst anybody's triple-murder bubble here, but someone please explain this to me: If Chris Benoit really is innocent if Kevin Sullivan or the One-Armed Man or whomever ...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 583 reads 47 comments
Why Barry Bonds Won't Break Hank Aaron's Record

Because I don't want him to. I really don't want him to. Barry Bonds hit his 749th career home run on Friday, and it made me sick to my stomach. By 753, I expect to be broken out in hives...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 570 reads 4 comments
Duke Rape Case: How to Give Mike Nifong What He Deserves

One night. That would at least be the beginning of justice, in this whole unspeakable mess: One night for Mike Nifong. Not in prison. Forget prison. Prison doesn't even touch the scope of the wrong here...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 364 reads 6 comments
NBA Finals: What Happened to LeBron James?

The King is dead. Long live the King. Let me say, for starters, that I know LeBron James will be okay. I know he will survive his defeat at the hands of Tim Duncan and the San Antonio Spurs ...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 956 reads 4 comments
12-Year-Old at the US Open: What Alexis Thompson Has in Store

If I were Alexis Thompson's old man, I wouldn't let her anywhere near a golf course. Not with anyone watching, anyway...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 244 reads 2 comments
How Lewis Hamilton Made History

If Lewis Hamilton proved anything at the Grand Prix of Canada on Sunday, it's that there really is a first time for everything. Literally, almost. In driving to the title, the 22-year-old earned the first victory of his F1 career...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 350 reads 3 comments
Don't Be Fooled Roger Clemens Is Finished

Hey—it was just the Pirates. Before we go etching Roger Clemens' name on the Cy Young award, let's remember that much: It was just the Pirates. And it was just June...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 194 reads 1 comments
Why Rafael Nadal Will Beat Roger Federer

On Sunday, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer will meet in the men's final at Roland Garros. Nick Nickel, for one, has already called the match for Federer, claiming that Nadal's days of clay court dominance are behind him...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 264 reads 3 comments
Lakers Analysis: The Best Reason to Trade Kobe Bryant

At least then he'll shut up. That seems to me to be the best reason for the Lakers to ship Kobe Bryant out of Los Angeles: At least then he'll shut up. At least then we won't have to put up with the whining and the finger-pointing...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 636 reads 19 comments
Magic Job: Why Stan Van Gundy Should Thank Billy Donovan

Some NBA coaches have big shoes to fill when they take a new job. Not so for Stan Van Gundy. The Orlando Magic hired Van Gundy as their head coach on Thursday, just days after Billy Donovan backed out of a five-year, $27 million agreement...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 287 reads 0 comments
Will Billy Donovan Be Welcome Back at Florida?

You can't go home again. It's a truism, sure—but at the core of every truism is a rock-hard kernel of truth. Given the way things have gone this week, you've got to wonder if Billy Donovan's about to find that out the hard way...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 255 reads 15 comments
Cottage Industry: December 30

Because "Better late than never" ain't even the half of it... Say hey there Bleacher Bums hope nobody missed me on Friday. (Quoth Harry Doyle: "And judging by the attendance.....

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 133 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: December 22

Because let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with a fifteen-game suspension... Happy Solstice and change, Bleacher Creatures...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 145 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: December 15

Because there s no Semitism like anti-Semitism... Happy belated Hanukkah, Bleacher Creatures. How bout a warm baruch habah to the Industry s new Jewish Affairs coordinator, Mahmoud Ahmadinmejad...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 2 years ago 287 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: December 8

Happy Pearl Harbor Day plus one, Cheap-Seaters. Let's have a special welcome for the Industry's new Minister of the Obvious, Jumpin' James Baker...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 290 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: December 1

Because my investigative work helped expose corruption in the Kremlin and all I got was this lousy case of radiation poisoning.....

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 196 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: November 24

Because man can t live on tryptophan alone A hearty gobble gobble to all you pilgrims out there. Industry Insiders had grand ambitions for this week s edition, but there s nothing like a ...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 145 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: November 17

Because there's no duck like a lame duck...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 191 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: November 10

Because the more things change... Happy Friday-after, Cottage cheesers. How 'bout a hand for our new Master of Ceremonies, Dandy Don Rumsfeld...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 296 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: November 3

Because Congressmen come and Congressmen go, but sound bites last forever... Welcome back, Industry Insiders. Let's have a warm welcome for our new resident humorist, G.I. John Kerry. Military Intelligence, 1...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 286 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: October 27

Because you got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to use the damned hand soap... A hearty welcome back to all you Cottage-heads out there...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 226 reads 0 comments
Cottage Industry: October 20

Because being right means never having to say your sorry... Say hey there Bleacher Creatures—great to be back here in cyber-blivion. I just flew in with Cory Lidle, and boy are my arms...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 310 reads 1 comments
Cottage Industry: October 13

Because if he don't say it, someone else might... Happy Friday the Thirteenth everybody. How 'bout a warm hand for our megalomaniacal despots of the week, Kim Jong-il and George Steinbrenner...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 276 reads 1 comments
Cottage Industry: October 6

So, a milkman walks into an Amish schoolhouse— But seriously. Early reports were the dude was driven over the edge by the memory of a terrible thing he did twenty years ago. Which had me thinking: Oh God, please don't be Bill Buckner...

Written by Joe Cottage about over 3 years ago 218 reads 2 comments

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Joe Cottage Article Archive

Why Darren McFadden Should Win the Heisman Trophy

What No One's Saying About Chris Benoit

Why Barry Bonds Won't Break Hank Aaron's Record

Duke Rape Case: How to Give Mike Nifong What He Deserves

NBA Finals: What Happened to LeBron James?

12-Year-Old at the US Open: What Alexis Thompson Has in Store

How Lewis Hamilton Made History

Don't Be Fooled Roger Clemens Is Finished

Why Rafael Nadal Will Beat Roger Federer

Lakers Analysis: The Best Reason to Trade Kobe Bryant

Magic Job: Why Stan Van Gundy Should Thank Billy Donovan

Will Billy Donovan Be Welcome Back at Florida?

Cottage Industry: December 30

Cottage Industry: December 22

Cottage Industry: December 15

Cottage Industry: December 8

Cottage Industry: December 1

Cottage Industry: November 24

Cottage Industry: November 17

Cottage Industry: November 10

Cottage Industry: November 3

Cottage Industry: October 27

Cottage Industry: October 20

Cottage Industry: October 13

Cottage Industry: October 6

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