1. President Obama Sends Andy Roddick, James Blake To Paris With Mission (Humor)

    A week before the French Open was to start, Andy Roddick and James Blake were both summoned to the White House. The Secret Service men ushered them both into the oval office where the President was talking on the phone...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 243 reads 4 comments

  2. Roger Federer Battles Rafael Nadal Now (Satire)

    The stage is set. Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal stare at each other with equal tenacity and determination. Their eyes locked in concentrated focus. The referee flips the coin and Nadal calls heads...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 1,099 reads 15 comments

  3. The Man in Pink (Rafael Nadal Gangsta Rap)

    Sung to the melody of "Men In Black" by Will Smith. Chorus I am de man in pink (mip, mip ah jes) Hard not to remember I am de man in pink Tank you Roger Federer Di Spaniard dress in pink ...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 658 reads 16 comments

  4. The French Open Drinking Game

    Now that the French Open is finally here, allez allez!! Break out the beer and hard liquor and let the French Open Drinking Game begin!! Here are the rules and directions of the game: 1) ...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 137 reads 36 comments

  5. Birthday Letters for Novak Djokovic

    Novak is a birthday boy, today, He turns only 22 years old. Such a spring chicken on the tennis tour, he will no doubt have many more years of great tennis in him...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 1,096 reads 9 comments

  6. Tennis Stars Weigh-In on American Idol

    The tennis world reacted to last night's results of American Idol. Here is what the various players have had to say. Rafael Nadal I jes want to say Adam Lambert no feel to bad. I been nomber two, so I know whad it feels like...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 569 reads 8 comments

  7. Andy Roddick And The Large Fan

    The following is based on a hearsay story that I overheard about two years ago. Some of it may have likely happened but I embellished the rest: As Andy Roddick was preparing for his match for ...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 380 reads 17 comments

  8. Madrid Masters in Review

    I've always wanted to do some captions so here is my chance. Let's have a little fun with some of the photos from the tournament that are made available to us through B/R. The introduction to this slide show requires that I use up 300 characters...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 414 reads 14 comments

  9. Federer-Nadal: The Rivalry Continues

    Rafael Nadal fans, Roger Federer fans and tennis fans in general are high in anticipation over the Madrid finals which sees a continuation of tennis' most intense and fascinating rivalry...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 280 reads 9 comments

  10. The Story Of Novak Djokovic's New Racket

    In some darkened and damp apartment in old Belgrade, two men in trench-coats were meeting. One, a gypsy merchant selling relics and supposedly magical items for a living and the other, a tennis star, number four in the world - Novak Djokovic...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 1,881 reads 14 comments

  11. How Roger Federer Will Raise the Trophy in Paris

    Believe it or not, this is not one of those wishful thinking articles about how Roger Federer can turn it around to win the French Open. There are four basic scenarios in which Roger Federer can raise the trophy in Paris...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 2,465 reads 43 comments

  12. Sports and The Unimportant: The Alignment Of Tennis Water Bottles

    What is the deal with tennis players like Nadal aligning their water bottles just so? Is there a certain angle that those bottles must be to ensure that a victory? What if a ball-boy falls backward in slow motion...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 1,228 reads 13 comments

  13. Uncle Toni Gives Djokovic Pointers: How To Imitate Rafa (Satire)

    On the practice courts today in Madrid, Uncle Toni was spending time with Novak Djokovic. It had nothing to do with any tennis techniques but how to properly imitate Rafa. "I watch jou do my nephew at Rome and jou hef it all wrong," said Uncle Toni...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 976 reads 4 comments

  14. Gary Bettman Dart Boards Sell Out

    The NHL's Gary Bettman Dartboard series has completely sold out in Southern Ontario. Plans are being hastily made to transfer unsold inventory from the southern part of the States ...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 362 reads 2 comments

  15. Postcards from Madrid

    Do you ever wonder what tennis players write on their postcards to their family? I have put a collection of would-be postcards that may or may not be accurate. Different players have different people that they write to...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 428 reads 8 comments

  16. Why Andy Murray Will Not Win the French Open

    Many speculate that Andy Murray will not win the French due to clay being his least preferred surface. Here is my long-shot speculation as to why he won't win: On May 23, 2009, Andy Murray will ...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 866 reads 24 comments

  17. Why Tennis Is the Greatest Sport of All

    At the risk of alienating some of my regular readers, I am prepared to go out on a limb and take a humorous look at why tennis is the greatest sport on the planet...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 6,197 reads 21 comments

  18. Go Ahead...Ask Me (May 3, 2009)

    Dear Mr. Casim,I have been in an awful state recently and didn't know where to turn until I saw your advert on the Bleacher Report. I really hope you can help me. You see, I am the world's biggest Roger Federer fan...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 708 reads 17 comments

  19. Go Ahead, Ask Me (Week Of April 27, 2009)

    Dear Sar Casim: What would Roger Federer do if he lost the French Open a) before he reached the final and b) if he lost in the final? Options: Would he shed tears? Would he applaud ...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 179 reads 4 comments

  20. A New Tennis Column: "Dear Sar Casim"

    Hi all in Bleacherland, There is a new column in town. My name is Sar Casim (did you catch that?), and I will be taking all of your questions regarding the tennis world. You can e-mail them to sar-casm@hotmail...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 186 reads 16 comments

  21. Anusol Seeks Rafael Nadal For Lucrative Deal (Humor)

    A company spokesman for the product Anusol has confirmed that it is seeking a major deal to become one of Rafael Nadal's chief sponsors. "He's been holding out on us for a long time but we are going to get him in the end...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 246 reads 13 comments

  22. When Two Greats Meet (An Ode To A Rivalry)

    Meet me in Rome Where the gladiator ghosts reminisce the glories of old while we battle new epics of our own age Cheers and jeers push and taunt us to battle out our sweaty struggle in search of victory that rises from the red dirt...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 348 reads 8 comments

  23. Rafael Nadal's 2011 French Open Dream Speech Vs Reality

    I wanna say dis is a drim camtrue for me. De French Open been very good to me, no? I hef won here for da eight year. Roger ees still da bes even if he not make di quarter-final. Chure, he rank only 22 but he is still bes player for da heestory...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 1,026 reads 19 comments

  24. George W. Defends Rafael Nadal

    My fellow Americans (and those who may live outside of us) I want to talk to you today about a young man with weapons of mass destruction. His name is Rafael Nadal and he is not from Mehico...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 462 reads 25 comments

  25. Andy Roddick's Dream (Humor)

    Roddick followed the silhouetted figure through the winding, revolving tunnel. In the distance, he could hear the growing reverberation of the thundering crowd. As it grew louder, he fixed his concentration on the man walking in front of him...

    Robert  Orzechowski Written by Robert Orzechowski about over 5 years ago 176 reads 1 comments