Beezer McBeeze Article Archive

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The Hottest Sports Catfights Since 2007

Cat Fights are simply part of what makes the human experience worth experiencing. But what happens when the ladies involved in such encounters are not only hot and female, but also athletically ...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about about 1 month ago 29,902 reads 1 comments
Would You Rather: Olympic Hotties Edition

The Olympics are not far away. And so we must begin to reacquaint ourselves with our heroic gals by doing it the old fashion way. We have selected a handful of major Olympic sports, and picked two hotties from around the globe for you to compare...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about 2 months ago 188,471 reads 4 comments
Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian Marriage Will Ruin Lakers Season

The Los Angeles Lakers can wave goodbye to their dreams of a repeat. And we have Khloe Kardashian to thank. Though I may be biased, it is my firm belief that the Lakers are the greatest franchise in NBA history...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about 2 months ago 7,227 reads 16 comments
Kim Jung Il Leads North Korea To World Cup Glory

(Satire) North Korea's national soccer team has ridden the divine efforts of their Dear Leader, Kim Jung Il, to a spot in the 2010 World Cup, their first appearance in forty-four years...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about 5 months ago 960 reads 2 comments
An Interview with Jeremy Shockey's Super Bowl Ring

The following interview was conducted with Jeremy Shockey's forthcoming Super Bowl ring, recently minted and soon to be presented to the controversial tight end.Beezer: How are you doing, Mr...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about about 1 year ago 5,184 reads 10 comments
Report: Isiah Has No Pictures of James Dolan "Getting Kinky in Drag"

Contrary to rumors circulating in New York high society, it appears that Isiah Thomas does not have a single photograph of James Dolan engaged in kinky acts with a male stripper...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about about 1 year ago 1,089 reads 2 comments
How to Write About Sean Taylor's Life (Having Met Him Once...)

Sean Taylor passed away on November 27th at the age of 24. Within minutes, just about every credible sports periodical in America was able to publish some sort of eulogy or memorial piece that shed light on the man's personal life...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 835 reads 2 comments
Arizona Cardinals: Will a Losing Record Win the NFC West?

Please, Arizona, take the NFC West. It's yours. Nobody wants it. Can you give us 6-10? That may be enough to carry this division. How about 7-9? That will probably do the trick. And if not, 8-8 will shoo you in for this Worst Division Ever...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 1,761 reads 7 comments
Mike Nolan, You're Fired!

Mike Nolan, you're fired.The San Francisco 49ers have played eight football games this season, and they have played well in exactly zero of them.Your composure, classiness, and ability to develop individual players have been very strong at times...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 3,131 reads 9 comments
NFC: Nobody Fu**ing Cares

I am so ashamed of the NFC.Honestly.I've never been more humiliated by a sports affiliation in all my life. And the thing that's so terrible is that there was really no reason for me to be an NFC loyalist in the first place...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 1,098 reads 17 comments
"The Band is on the Field"

Come on? Was there any moment greater than this one? It was the most fantastic ending to any sporting event, much less any College Football game ever.Now, I have to hand it to Marshall -- what they did was amazing...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 317 reads 0 comments
Everton Move Symbolic for the Right Reasons

Given the critical role that a beloved stadium can play in defining a club's history and tradition, it's mercifully uncommon that one's favorite team packs up and moves somewhere new...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 443 reads 0 comments
Welcome to the Hall of Fame, Frank Thomas

Welcome to the Hall of Fame, Mr. Frank Thomas. You've been looking for a home in upstate New York since at least 1990, and after knocking your 500th career dinger on Thursday, you've finally secured a deed in Cooperstown...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 698 reads 6 comments
The Pistons Let Flip Saunders Get Away with Murder

The latest word from Detroit: The Pistons have announced that they do NOT plan to fire coach Flip Saunders.Speculation had been mounting this week that Flip might be a man on the outs. After all, the Pistons ended the season without a championship...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 208 reads 7 comments
It's Simple: The Yankees Need Mark Teixeira

It's time for the Yankees to get excited again. Sure, the 2007 season is off to a slow start, and, yes, the once-untouchable Joe Torre is getting more and more bad press...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 218 reads 8 comments
Where There's Smoke, There's Michael Vick

So Michael Vick knew what was happening? Go figure. After a number of startling media reports, it has become clear to Me-the-Jury that the Atlanta Falcons star was not an innocent, easily-duped accessory...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 209 reads 36 comments
Sticking It to Detroit Red Wings Fans

Thirty seconds. That's about how long it took the Sharks to beat the Detroit Red Wings on Thursday night. Joe Thornton set up an easy score for rookie defenseman Matt Carle, and half-a-minute ...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 682 reads 26 comments
Why I Hate Loving Alex Rodriguez

It would be easy to write a fluffy piece about Alex Rodriguez. I could write about his perseverance, his composure, any number of "secrets to his success"—but I'd rather ...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 335 reads 3 comments
A Texans-Sized Laugh: Did Houston Really Just Release David Carr?

Well, I hope the people of Houston are happy. After half a decade of enduring one losing season after another, the Texans have finally "taken action" by releasing their unsuccessful leader, David Carr...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 307 reads 25 comments
Boston Friction: Why Drew, Ramirez Might Doom the Red Sox

Something was missing this offseason while fans and analysts discussed the many huge Red Sox moves. In all the discussion about big signings—and a lot of cash did indeed change hands—precious ...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 265 reads 5 comments
Duke's Lacrosse Team and Culture Should Not Be Under the Microscope

Maybe I'm just a pessimist, but it really annoys me when people feel obligated to find a silver lining where one does not exist...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 198 reads 12 comments
Who REALLY Cares About Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter

I'm not the one with the problem. On Friday, Dateline ran a special report about a phenomenon that has gripped the nation in recent months: "Celebrity Obsessions...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 291 reads 1 comments
Steelers Make History (And How!) with Mike Tomlin

It's been a groundbreaking week in Pittsburgh. Remember the date—January 22nd—as it will no doubt be drilled into the head of every grade schooler in the Three Rivers area for years ...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 267 reads 10 comments
David Beckham's Arrival In America Won't Save MLS...But It Will Save David Beckham

Major League Soccer has finally done something right. Or so it would seem, given that the struggling league now appears in every headline in every newspaper in every country on every continent...

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 272 reads 14 comments
No Doubt About Cal: Ripken a Shoo-In for the Hall of Fame

Goodbye, 2006—you won't be missed. Not that you were the worst year ever, but you're probably somewhere in heaven hanging out with 1968, 1980, and a few of those other volatile and divisive years that people look back on with tired shrugs.

Written by Beezer McBeeze about over 2 years ago 226 reads 3 comments

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Beezer McBeeze Article Archive

The Hottest Sports Catfights Since 2007

Would You Rather: Olympic Hotties Edition

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian Marriage Will Ruin Lakers Season

Kim Jung Il Leads North Korea To World Cup Glory

An Interview with Jeremy Shockey's Super Bowl Ring

Report: Isiah Has No Pictures of James Dolan "Getting Kinky in Drag"

How to Write About Sean Taylor's Life (Having Met Him Once...)

Arizona Cardinals: Will a Losing Record Win the NFC West?

Mike Nolan, You're Fired!

NFC: Nobody Fu**ing Cares

"The Band is on the Field"

Everton Move Symbolic for the Right Reasons

Welcome to the Hall of Fame, Frank Thomas

The Pistons Let Flip Saunders Get Away with Murder

It's Simple: The Yankees Need Mark Teixeira

Where There's Smoke, There's Michael Vick

Sticking It to Detroit Red Wings Fans

Why I Hate Loving Alex Rodriguez

A Texans-Sized Laugh: Did Houston Really Just Release David Carr?

Boston Friction: Why Drew, Ramirez Might Doom the Red Sox

Duke's Lacrosse Team and Culture Should Not Be Under the Microscope

Who REALLY Cares About Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter

Steelers Make History (And How!) with Mike Tomlin

David Beckham's Arrival In America Won't Save MLS...But It Will Save David Beckham

No Doubt About Cal: Ripken a Shoo-In for the Hall of Fame

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