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Mario Balotelli walks into a bar. It's a comedic setup with infinite possibilities.

But there was nothing funny about the time the Italy striker was pelted with bananas and racially abused by football fans on a night out in Rome, back in 2009.

Those who know Balotelli know he is not a man to back down.

"I will not accept racism at all," he said this week. "It's unacceptable. If someone throws a banana at me in the street, I will go to jail, because I will kill them."

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Euro 2012 is almost upon us. The action proper gets under way a week from today, and excitement levels are mounting by the hour.

As we build towards the first round of group matches, there is much to report. The 16 nations have been involved in friendly warm-up games, and we've been given a hint of what's to come.

Here are the seven biggest storylines to watch with seven days to go.

 

Download our Euro 2012 tournament bracket

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You already know all about the best sides in Europe's top leagues. But what about the new guys on the block?

Today at Set Piece, we're looking at the promoted teams in England, Spain, Italy and Germany. In some cases, all three teams have been decided already. In others, we're still waiting for a few results.

Read on for all the details of this year's group of promoted teams.

CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA - JULY 19: Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes during the Vodacom Challenge match between Kaizer Chiefs and Manchester United at Newlands Stadium on July 19, 2008 in Cape Town, South Africa. (Photo by Lefty Shivambu/Gallo Images/Getty Images)
Gallo Images/Getty Images

The 2011-12 football season across Europe's top five leagues was a fine vintage. It was also a fine season to be vintage—as demonstrated by the likes of Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Javier Zanetti, Didier Drogba, Raul and Andrea Pirlo.

If the game really is getting faster and more intense with every season, these comparatively wizened old men—in football terms at least—had no right to be playing central roles for teams competing in the upper echelons of European football.

But there they were.

Giggs and Scholes, aged 38 and 37 respectively, both started in Manchester United's midfield for their most important Premier League game of the season—away to Manchester City. Both will be back in red come August.

Zanetti, at 38, played 34 Serie A games for Inter Milan and will attempt to do the same again next season.

LANDOVER, MD - MAY 30:  Clint Dempsey #8 of USA heads the ball against Brazil during an International friendly game at FedExField on May 30, 2012 in Landover, Maryland.  (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)
Rob Carr/Getty Images

Stateside swagger, meet silky Brazilian samba.

This time, at least, there were plenty of lessons to be learned—for both sides.

First, the obvious:

By knocking the swagger out of the United States on Wednesday night, to the tune of a 4-1 beatdown at FedEx Field, Brazil's latest batch of young samba superstars underlined their world-class credentials.

Let that sink in for a moment and think about what it means.

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Germany are the winners of Euro 2012, after beating the Netherlands 3-1 in a pulsating final.

At least that's what a tournament simulation by EA Sports has predicted.

The games manufacturer played out all 31 games on EA Sports' UEFA Euro 2012, the officially licensed expansion pack to their hugely popular FIFA 12 product.

Their mocked up tournament saw Russia, Poland, Germany, Netherlands, Spain, Italy, France and England advance from the group stages of Euro 2012.

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Ever wanted to see Frank Lampard taking batting practice in Yankee pinstripes?

Petr Cech wearing a Seattle Seahawks helmet?

David Luiz goofing off?

OK, so that last one happens all the time, but you get the point.

Here we have a bunch of Chelsea players playing a couple of sports that they don't play professionally, and as you might expect, a video of Chelsea players trying their hand at baseball and American football turns out to be excellent viewing.

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Not all rumors are created equal.

Case in point: Wayne Rooney is reportedly wanted by a big-spending foreign club, and the big-spending foreign club is reportedly willing to spend an outrageous amount of money to get him.

But do you think Rooney will leave England and Manchester United?

While you decide, we have plenty of juicy news today in the B/R World Football Gossip Roundup. Keep reading for updates on Jordi Alba, Manchester City's dealings, Demba Ba, Thomas Vermaelen and Euro 2012 tickets.

SWANSEA, WALES - APRIL 28:  Swansea manager Brendan Rodgers reacts during the Barclays Premier league match between Swansea City and Wolverhampton Wanderers at Liberty Stadium on April 28, 2012 in Swansea, Wales.  (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)
Stu Forster/Getty Images

Liverpool have reportedly agreed a deal with Brendan Rodgers to become their new manager, with the young Swansea coach set to sign a three-year deal at Anfield.

According to BBC Sport, Rodgers was always the club's preferred candidate to take over from Kenny Dalglish, who was sacked earlier this month after a disappointing campaign saw Liverpool finish eighth in the Premier League.

The 39-year-old Rodgers arrives with a glowing reputation, having steered Swansea from the Championship to a highly creditable first season in England's top flight. 

Swansea exceeded expectations to finish in the relative comfort of 11th, enjoying victories over Manchester City, Arsenal and Liverpool along the way.

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For every winner there must be a loser, and for every pleasant surprise, there's usually also a disappointment.

World football is no different, and while there have been plenty of great stories across the world this season, there are also a bunch of disappointing teams.

Here are seven of the most disappointing. Their number includes big spenders, traditional powerhouses and star-studded underachievers.

Think you know who made the list? Keep reading to find out.