Bleacher Report - Detroit Lions

My Concerns With The Detroit Lions

Derrick Dennis — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:31:00 -0500

There have been some things that I like about this new coaching regime, like the fact that most of this year's draft picks look to have more potential than any Lions drafted in the Millen Era not named Ernie Sims, Shaun Rogers, or Calvin Johnson.

For the most part, I'm willing to give Jim Schwartz a two or three-season pass. With that being said, if he is so smart, why are we making the same stupid mistakes?

I'll start with the special teams. First and foremost, Schwartz has to axe Stan Kwan at the end of the season; there is no excuse for the abomination the Lions call special teams.

Secondly, does Schwartz not realize that not one person who the Lions have trotted out there has even resembled a competent kick returner?

We started the year with Aaron Brown taking kicks, but the Lions figured they would get more production out of Derrick Williams. Well, it hasn't happened and Williams' stats are actually worse than Brown's. On punt returns, we have Dennis Northcutt—do I even need to say anything else? It's Dennis Northcutt.

Meanwhile, the Lions had a good college kick returner on their practice squad in Tristan Davis and they cut him. I also wrote an article earlier in the season about the many good free agent return men out there.

However, the Lions still stubbornly continue to handicap themselves on special teams and on offense since they're getting horrible field position. So I guess Schwartz is okay with the fact his team will never have good field position.

Next up, we have the Jeckel and Hyde units in the offense and defense. People are quick to point out how horrible the defense is, but I've actually seen some improvement on that side of the ball. On offense, they were getting better and better, but have started regressing since Stafford's injury.

Maybe I've watched one too many Lions games this season. Maybe I'm starting to look at the world through the eyes of a boxer who has taken one too many hits to the head. The fact of the matter is, Scott Linehan is making me miss Mike Martz. There, I said it, but please hold all stones, rotten tomatoes, and other projectiles until the end of the article.

I just don't believe in Scott Linehan at all; I'm willing to give him till the end of next year to show me something, but right now, he really isn't. Yeah, it's the players' first year in his system, but his system looks like crap.

Martz had guys like Shaun McDonald and Mike Furrey looking amazing. With Linehan, it seems like even with teams loading up on Calvin, nobody else can get open.

Sure, a lot of that falls on the players, but how much? Are we saying that Jon Kitna is that much better than Stafford? Mike Furrey and Shaun McDonald that much better than Bryant Johnson and Dennis Northcutt?

Well, Kitna is sitting on the bench in Dallas, probably for the rest of his career. Dennis Northcutt is statistically better than Mike Furrey and Shaun McDonald combined this season, mostly because McDonald hasn't played, but still both Northcutt and Johnson beat out Furrey.

You might say that Martz had horrible play-calling, well so does Linehan. Linehan's isn't as bad as Martz was when it comes to running, but everything else Linehan does boggles my mind. No, we aren't the most talented team, but that shouldn't mean the play calling should be crappy.

I swear that I sit there every Sunday feeling like a physic when the Lions offense is on the field. The worst part about it is the plays I'm predicting don't match the situation the Lions are in on the field.

Case in point, if I see a 3rd-and-short, I predict pass because that's what this genius usually dials up, no matter how many times it burns us. Even if they are in a position where they have to go for it on fourth down if they don't convert, it's still a pass! Martz had a better system point-blank, and it showed, because after he left we went from a top-10 offense to crap.

Linehan has managed to take us from crap to crap, but we're all okay with it because we have low expectations. If he hasn't done something with this offense by the end of next season I want Martz back ... with a clause in his contract that says he must run the ball at least 20 times per game!

Now the defense; yes the defense has been bad, but I honestly think they have been getting better and better. I don't have the stats to back it up, but I do know that the offense has been horrendous since Stafford came back from injury.

That means that we have been putting our bad defense out on the field far more than we should have to. The Rams put up 17 points on us, yet our offense was only able to manage 10; are we really going to put that on the defense?

Then there is the Seattle game, which we could have run away with if the offense had been able to put together anything after our amazing start. It didn't happen, though, as Stafford turned the ball over five times.

I don't care if it was Pittsburgh's defense on the field; if your quarterback throws five interceptions, you're probably not going to win.

Last but not least is the Vikings game, where we were only able to put up 10 points. Yet again we're putting our bad defense out on the field and saying "win the game for us."

Of course it didn't work out, you're supposed to hide your weaknesses, not say "here is our weak spot, take your best shot." Then again, over the last few weeks the offense hasn't exactly looked like our strong point.

The offense also has less of an excuse than the defense, even if Stafford missed a couple of weeks. On defense, we're signing people off the street! We'll sign a guy, he'll get hurt that week, we'll put him on injured reserve, then begin the cycle all over again.

Right now Cunningham is getting the benefit of the doubt because he has far less to work with. Kwan and Linehan, my patience is already beginning to wear thin.

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The 100 Greatest Pro Running Backs of All-Time: Nos. 25-1

Mike Anderson — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:09:47 -0500

I wrote this article after extensive research. The list was compiled after looking at about 175 candidates. Some of the stats that I focused on in coming up with the list were rushing yards, yards per game, rushing touchdowns, yards per carry, receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns. After placing all the candidates in order based on stats I weighed each stat appropriately. For example, I feel that rushing yards are more important than receiving touchdowns, therefore they are weighed heavier in my rankings. After compiling the list based solely on stats I took other factors into account such as career length, whether injuries played a part, and when they played. Finally, I injected my own opinion into the list since after all, it is my list. The list will consist of fullbacks, tailbacks, halfbacks and anyone else you might consider a running back. It should be noted that this list is about players who handled the ball so you won't see great fullbacks that were strictly blockers on the list. The stats for current players are up through week 6 of the current NFL season. I know this list won't be the same as everyone else's, but I hope you enjoy.

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Pontiac Silverdome: The Ultimate Fantasy Factory at a Bargain Price

PJ Ross — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:51:00 -0500

The Pontiac Silverdome was sold at an auction to an unidentified Canadian real estate agency on Monday for a measly $583,000.

Now, a Michigan judge has put a hold on the sale because of a complaint that another company already had a deal to buy it.

But that's neither here nor there.

Considering that the stadium was built for $55.7 million in 1975, I'd say that's a pretty good deal, and now I'm deeply regretting not taking out a home-loan to purchase the domed-mammoth.

I'm just wondering if the first-time home buyers credit would count if I bought it?

I could have shipped off from a two-bedroom condo in Washington and set up shop at the Silverdome's 80,000-seat venue.

There would be so many perks to moving into the lofty site, I can only begin to imagine...

First of all, screw the Direct TV Sunday Ticket Package—I'm ordering it and selling one dollar tickets for an all-day Sunday pass.

I can watch games on the big screen with 80,000 of my closest friends, and with the dome, business can be open year round for all the major sports.

The facilities for concessions are still intact, so I'll just go to Costco and throw some burgers and hot dogs on one of my dozens of grilling surfaces throughout the concourse.

Next, I would buy a WNBA team and an MLS team in a package deal with some spare change lying around and make the two teams play doubleheaders.

The only catch is that the teams would be flip flop; that means WNBA players could play a game of soccer and vice-versa.

I imagine this as a great way to stir up some excitement for both leagues. Considering only about 4 percent of the nation has any idea the MLS championship game is this Sunday, I think they could use the publicity.

I would also start an RV park outside—reserved for tailgating 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Since the stadium sits on a 127-acre lot, there would be plenty of space for fans in Detroit to gather any day and, instead of being subjected to their hometown Lions, just flat-out get plastered in preparation for Sundays.

Above all else, I would make a habit of filming my friends and I re-enacting great moments in Super Bowl history.

I can just see it now: Making a Joe Namath jump pass; stopping Kevin Dyson at the one-yard line to save the game; housing an interception 100 yards a la Jerome Harrison.

And just for some added drama to the outings, I would hire the Oregon Cheerleaders to attend every simulated game.

The cheerleaders would also be required to attend the post-game press conference.

So, with the Silverdome now spoken for, I'm hoping that once the Metrodome closes it will meet the same fate.

Because I can't let this opportunity pass twice.

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David Sloan: "I Still Root For The Detroit Lions Every Sunday"

Michael Schottey — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:32:57 -0500

"Some fans think I have a chip on my shoulder or something. That just isn't the case."

David Sloan was drafted by the Detroit Lions in 1995.

The tight end out of New Mexico was part of a class which included Luther Elliss, Stephen Boyd, and Cory Schlesinger.

In his rookie year, Wayne Fontes led his team to a 10-6 record while Sloan had 17 receptions—one for a touchdown.

In 1999, Bobby Ross coached his Lions squad to 8-8. Sloan caught 47 passes from Charlie Batch and Gus Frerotte and four touchdowns. That year, he joined Wesley Walls as a tight end for the NFC Pro Bowl team.

Fast forward to 2009 and a lot is different for David Sloan.

He's currently driving through North Dakota—a fate no one should wish on their worst enemy—recruiting for Southwest Baptist University, a small independent division II school in Missouri. Sloan had enrolled in the NFLPA Coaching Intern program, which works with Division II/III schools to help former players get their feet wet in the coaching world.

Sloan assisted the Bearcats to a 6-5 record coaching the team's tight end.

No, that isn't supposed to be plural.

The Southwest Baptist University Bearcats run a spread offense and one athlete pulled double duty this year, splitting out as a receiver and helping block with his hand on the ground.

Sloan spent much of his time one-on-one with the young man, teaching him some of the things that made him a Pro Bowler in Detroit and an eight year NFL veteran.

Sloan, however, didn't stop there.

Eager to earn his chops and learn as much as possible, Sloan helped out with special teams as well.

In fact, this recruiting trip to Minnesota and North Dakota? Sloan is volunteering his time.

Technically, his job is over. Sloan could be back home with his wife and two daughters (ages five and three). Instead, he is happy that his head coach allowed him to go on the trip to learn an important facet of the college game.

One day, David Sloan would love to coach professional football, but he is realistic. He doesn't want to earn a coaching gig with connections. He wants to learn the job and earn a spot. He's spending his time networking, applying for jobs, and starting from scratch.

"I love the coaching...the teaching aspect of it."

Before he makes it to the NFL, Sloan will bide his time in very much the same way many former players have—learning to teach the things that made him a great player. He doesn't expect the Lions to come calling anytime soon–although they did for good friend Bradford Banta) but he would jump at the chance to coach for his alma mater, The University of New Mexico Lobos.

Don't expect to see Sloan joining Charlie Sanders on Lions' sidelines anytime soon. Sloan wants to coach, and would rather start at the bottom, teaching young players, than sitting up in a booth.

He understands that he didn't leave Detroit on the greatest of terms.

When he was a free agent in 2002, he fully expected the Lions to give him a low offer—one he probably would have expected. However, the Lions went a different strategy and entrusted the position to Mikhael Ricks.

The Lions went 3-13 under Marty Mornhinweg.

"I thought they would at least come to the table and negotiate."

Sloan has no hard feelings. He knows his own history with injuries and he understands that his time afterward with New Orleans was unspectacular. It is a unique situation if a player retires with the same team his is drafted with, and he calls the decision not to re-sign him, a "good decision " on the Lions' part.

After football, David Sloan wanted nothing to do with the game. He, like most retired players, felt he had a few more years in him. He couldn't watch the game on Sundays and tried his hand at various tasks like real estate and selling medical supplies.

Now, back in football, he roots for the Lions every Sunday and wants to make it very clear to everyone he has no sour taste in his mouth and no chip on his back. He made it back to Detroit last year as an honorary captain when the Lions faced the Chicago Bears on September 30.

When he's in town, he makes sure to catch up with Jason Hanson. Otherwise, Sloan explains that the NFL isn't like college where kids come in together and spent their whole time with each other. NFL players come in and out of each other's lives. Except for an occasional phone call with Banta, Boyd or Schlesinger, he doesn't maintain a lot of contact with the organization.

He doesn't have a lot to say about the current Lions' squad. He thinks they have a lot of young talent that have the tools to be very good—especially rookie tight end, Brandon Pettigrew.

"He should be monster."

David Sloan would know what it takes to be a Detroit Lions tight end. His career receiving numbers are behind only the hall-of-famer, Sanders, Jim Gibbons, and David Hill.

Arguably, Sloan was the best blocker in that group.

Although his body eventually suffered from numerous injuries, he will always be remembered as a hard nosed player—perfect for a coach like Fontes or Ross.

The attitude and work ethic that once made David Sloan a coach's dream could very well make him a dream coach. Now, like always, Sloan isn't willing to look for the easy way out. In high school and college, that attitude eventually led him to the NFL.

It's only a matter of time before it leads him back.

For an earlier interview by this columnist with Cory Schlesinger, click here.

Michael Schottey is a Detroit Lions Featured Columnist for Bleacher Report and the producer and host of The Average Joe Sports Show on 860AM KNUJ (New Ulm, MN). He is also an NFL Analyst and Senior Writer for DraftTek.com. Follow Him on Twitter.

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Detroit Lions and What They Need: My 100th Article

Seattle Lion Fan — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:10:50 -0500

Yeah, I know. I said I was going to take a break but trying to give up the Lions is like trying to give up alcohol.

My name is Seattle Lion Fan and I'm a Lionholic.

I even tried to write an article about the Seattle Seahawks. It wasn't a bad experience but the Hawks don't fire the passion as much as the Lions do. And isn't that a sad statement to make when a 1-8 football team makes you a bigger fan than rooting for a 3-6 team.

I really need some therapy here.

So here I am at what some might consider a milestone. My 100th article for the Bleacher Report. I'm not going to go off on some love fest for the Bleacher Report or go down some sentimental journey about some dim, distant but sweet memory about my hometown and their teams. Hasn't been my style as of late and I see no reason to change now.

I'm just happy to be here and that I've reached a hundred articles.

I will take some time to say thank you to some fellow Bleacher Report writers:

Dean Holden, Michael Schottey, Greg Eno, Leroy Watson, Eric Wilson, George Anderson, Scott Reiger, Jay Wierenga, C Detgetmon, Ben Hammond and Keith Shelton

Each of you have given some great advice as well as some great thoughts on how we can fix the Lions. Too bad we couldn't somehow come up with $ 950 million, buy them and do it right!

Back to the subject at hand.

I've been reading articles about what needs to be done to fix the Lions. A majority of the opinions have been to go after defense. And while I will agree the Lions need help in that area as well as many others, I truly believe what should be addressed that hasn't been for 20 years is the offensive line.

The Lions have had some good to great offensive linemen. A few that come to mind are Lomas Brown, Russ Bolinger, Kevin Glover and Ray Roberts. But even with these names, one can never say the Detroit Lions ever had a dominating offensive line.

Even in 1997, when Barry Sanders ran for 2,053 yards, Scott Mitchell was sacked 41 times. You have a running back that runs wild and still finish 9-7, there is something seriously wrong with the team. Yes, yes, I know, the defense sucked back then as well. The idea was to outscore the other team in shootouts but that didn't quite work.

I look at the Lions as they are right now much like a house in disrepair. And if any of you know what the one thing every building known to man must have is a solid foundation. And every foundation of any football team is the offensive line.

Have a good and solid offensive line and that translates into a good and solid football team.

2009 has shown some promise in these young Lions. Last years draft brought us Matthew Stafford and Brandon Pettigrew. Along with second year running back Kevin Smith and third year wide receiver extraordinaire Calvin Johnson, the Lions have the tools to be a very productive offense.

Problem is the current offensive line couldn't hold back a front four of old ladies in walkers. But I'm not slamming any of the current offensive linemen for not giving their best effort. But a harsh reality is they are just not talented enough.

Now bear with me since this is a radical idea but I strongly feel the Lions should make the following moves. It may be the fastest way to make the foundation stronger:

Move current left tackle Jeff Backus inside to left guard and target left tackle Bruce Campbell from Maryland with their first pick in the 2010 NFL draft.

What does that get you? Backus is constantly overmatched by elite defensive ends. He's 32 years old and in his ten years as the Lions left tackle, he's given up an average of nearly 7.5 sacks per year. Backus won't have to rely as much on his footwork and when the guard needs to pull on running plays, Backus should be fairly effective.

Campbell has played left tackle at Maryland for 4 years. He's 6-7 and 312 lbs. Granted he has fought minor injures but I'll take him missing a few games over allowing my QB to get hit on 3 step drops.

The offensive line would look like this:

LT: Bruce Campbell

LG: Jeff Backus

C: Dominic Riaola

RG: Stephen Peterson

RT: Gosder Cherilus

Keep Jon Jansen as a super sub for all the spots with the exception of center, trade or release Manny Ramirez and you got yourself a pretty stout line.

If Campbell isn't available, then target Jason Fox out of Miami or Bryan Bulaga from Iowa. I don't think the Lions should go after Russell Okung since he's played right tackle for Oklahoma and they can't afford to wait for him to make the adjustment to left tackle.

And for those who say Backus is too expensive to play at left guard, forget about the money and focus on what's needed for the Lions to win. Besides, how well did the Minnesota Vikings offensive line improve when left guard Steve Hutchinson joined them in 2006? From a pretty good offensive line to a damn good one.

As for the rest of what the Lions need, I'm sure there are going to be hundreds of articles and thousands of responses that will offer many different opinions.

But let’s face the one fact that's keeping Detroit from having any kind of success (besides being owned by William Clay Ford, Sr.): They must build a solid offensive line to keep Matthew Stafford from getting sacked and to open holes for Kevin Smith to keep defenses honest.

Happy 100th everyone...and thanks for reading!

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Detroit Lions Pour More Losing Concrete in Minneapolis Stinker

Greg Eno — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:12:06 -0500

The Lions proved once again that they have a losing foundation.

The mix that was poured to create it includes an impressive blend of poor blocking, miserable tackling, and an obscene pass rush and coverage.

It's rock solid, this foundation, and the trouble is, their coach has been thwacking away at it with a hammer, when he really needs a medicine ball swinging from a chain.

On top of this foundation, the Lions play football and show us various ways every Sunday to come out on the losing side of things. It's really quite an art, like David Copperfield showing us how he can make different things disappear.

But below that surface is the foundation—the common denominator, if you will.

The Minnesota Vikings were the latest team to make mincemeat of the Lions—27-10 in the Metrodome on Sunday.

The foundation was rock solid as usual.

Impenetrable poor tackling of running back Adrian Peterson. Concrete-like strength of a non-existent pass rush. Waterproof, non-porous protection of an accordion-like offensive line.

The Lions could give the Mafia a run for their money with the concrete they pour every Sunday.

The Vikings padded their stats but not the scoreboard in the first half. It was 10-3, Minny, and the Lions were still hanging around, like the kid brother who won't let you spend time alone with your girlfriend.

The Vikings only scored 10 points in the first 30 minutes despite raining long passes to Sidney Rice, who was as open as a 24-hour diner all afternoon, and despite Peterson running around, past, and through the Lions, who again showed why they're the football version of the Washington Generals.

Mack Sennett, God rest his soul, would love these Lions. So would have Groucho, Chico, and Harpo Marx. The Lions could have been perpetual co-stars. Margaret Dumont would have been out of work.

But the Vikings didn't do themselves any favors, either. They started shooting themselves in the cleats, with fumbles and penalties. So off they trudged at halftime, with a 10-3 lead and video game-like stats.

Peterson had rushed for 100 yards before the first beers were down, I think. Brett Favre would give him the ball and you could almost hear the Keystone Kops music and see everything turn to sepia and in fast motion.

But it was still just 10-3. Sennett would have put up a caption card in his silent short that said, "WTF?"

Ahh, but then Kevin Smith fumbled to open the second half, the Vikes pounced on it, and a couple of Peterson saunters later, the score was 17-3 Vikings and all was right in the world again.

Lions QB Matthew Stafford was harassed by the Vikings' front four more than Sean Penn by photographers on a Hollywood sidewalk.

Stafford was denied one of the creature comforts of playing quarterback: time enough to look for a receiver. The result was a flurry of hurried throws, many of which came nowhere near their intended targets. It's hard to have accuracy when you can tell every defensive lineman what he had for breakfast.

But a word about Kid Matthew.

On the occasions when he does have time to throw, why does he insist on forcing his receivers to make circus catches? The football is never delivered between the numbers; sometimes it's rarely delivered between the shoulder blades. It's like Stafford has sunk some dough into a highlight reel montage of diving, sprawling, mind-boggling catches.

Sometimes the Lions receivers oblige. Then again, sometimes Matthew gets the ball in the general area of the receivers' chest or hands and it doesn't matter, anyway. If the Lions don't lead the league in dropped passes, then I want a recount.

Favre beat the Lions again. He's spent about 13 percent of his career playing them—two out of 16 games every year—so I say we dock him and make only 87 percent of his numbers worthy.

The drumbeat of losing goes on for the Lions. They are 1-25 in their past 26 games. Jason Hanson is even missing field goals. Who do they think they are? The Italian Army? Wile E. Coyote? The Pittsburgh Pirates?

This isn't a football season anymore, it's a disaster management drill. Pretty soon they're gonna call in FEMA and give Martin Mayhew pointers.

The Lions play the Cleveland Browns next week. Frick and Frack, at Ford Field. Football theater of the absurd. If there's going to be any action on that one in Vegas, it'll be done by members of Gamblers Anonymous.

The game is likely to be blacked out in Detroit, which is a version of the mercy rule.

Vikings 27, Lions 10.

The End.

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Detroit Lions' Jim Schwartz Scratches Cliff Avril and Aaron Brown

Michael Schottey — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:58:32 -0500

Cliff Avril is healthy.

Aaron Brown is healthy.

Neither athletes were on the Detroit Lions week 10 injury report. Both practiced the entire week. Fans consider both young, bright spots on a talent-starved team.

Neither played in week 10 against the Minnesota Vikings.

In his post game presser, Head Coach Jim Schwartz called both, "healthy scratches." And that it was a "gameplan decision." Instead of Cliff Avril and Aaron Brown, Vinny Ciurciu and Melvin White made the gameday roster.

The move, questioned by reporters following the game, was a special teams gambit.

Percy Harvin, the Minnesota Vikings rookie return man, is one of the league's best. His 889 return yards is second only to Darren Sproles. His two return touchdowns are tied with Ted Ginn Jr. No one has more returns of 40 or more yards. No full time returner has a better average.

In week 10, Harvin was held to "only" 29 yards on his only return—not exactly a glowing endorsement of the coverage unit.

Meanwhile, the defense was only able to manage one sack, two QB hits and five tackles for loss without a healthy Cliff Avril.

The rushing attack was able to pick up 93 yards but its second leading rusher was Matthew Stafford. Aaron Brown is averaging 4.4 yards per carry, better than either Kevin Smith or Maurice Morris.

Coach Jim Schwartz claimed that the Lions were "not getting production out of his position," in regards to Aaron Brown. Perhaps the young Lions coach is getting his runners mixed up?

Kevin Smith has rushed the ball 150 times and is only averaging 3.4 yards per carry. If it weren't for his usefulness in the passing game—both receiving and blocking—the Lions would be barely getting anything out of him.

As far as Cliff Avril goes, a reporter asked Schwartz if Avril weren't good enough against the run to start against Adrian Peterson. Schwartz declined to critique the play of the promising second year player.

Avril is second on the team with 2.5 sacks.

Even Bill Belichick knows that decisions get analyzed after after a loss. How much more so for a rookie head coach on a 1-8 team? Obviously, the decision to sit two of your more promising recent draft picks, when healthy, is a decision that should be analyzed.

Is Cliff Avril, who runs a 4.5 40-yard dash, not fast enough to cover kicks? Is he a good enough tackler to play defensive line but not to be on the third wave of a kick unit?

Can Aaron Brown, who is also a failed returner, not apply any pressure as a gunner?

The Detroit Lions kept Terrelle Smith and Jerome Felton, fullbacks, both active. The Lions got no stats out of Smith and a two-yard reception out of Felton—tackles out of neither.

The Detroit Lions also kept Andre Fluellen active on game day who also failed to record a tackle.

Shuffling the lineup is a must for young teams which lack talent. Finding diamonds in the rough can be the difference between a three-year or a five-year rebuilding plan. Fans will wonder though, why Cliff Avril and Aaron Brown were deactivated for their play when so many other players, older players, were active in a loss.

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Could Charlie Weis Save the Detroit Lions' Offense?

Michael Schottey — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:38:35 -0500

Sometimes, things make too much darned sense to actually happen.

Feel the backlash now. This won't be a popular thought, idea or article. Michigan and Michigan State fans comprise well over half of the Detroit Lions fan base. Michigan and Michigan State fans who have spent five years referring from everything to Weis weight, to well...Weis weight was just about it.

Charlie Weis and Jim Schwartz share a common coaching tree, both have worked with and earned much respect from Bill Belichick.

Scott Linehan? The former Rams head coach has been less than spectacular working with less than spectacular talent in Detroit.

Take a look back at the resumes. Charlie Weis coached a young Tom Brady and then helped mature Brady Quinn and Jimmy Clausen into NFL Draft picks. Scott Linehan has a young Daunte Culpepper on his resume, that is about it.

In fact, historically, Linehan has been better at guiding the careers of young running backs like Ronnie Brown or Steven Jackson. Kevin Smith hasn't been so lucky this year.

In fact, the Lions' offense has been nothing short of disappointing as all 11 starters have shown vast room for improvement. Worse yet, the playcalling has waivered between vanilla and downright rotten.

It isn't all Scott Linehan's fault, and no one is (or should be) calling for his head. But, in the world of football, upgrades can always be made. Charlie Weis, as an NFL offensive coordinator, is an upgrade to Scott Linehan.

Charlie Weis, as a mentor to Matthew Stafford, is an upgrade to Scott Linehan.

It wouldn't be a popular decision. Michigan residents have conditioned themselves to ridicule and mock Charlie Weis. Then again, Michigan residents have also conditioned themselves to mock and ridicule the Detroit Lions.

Some things just make too much darned sense.

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NFL Week 10: You Crap The Bed

DMtShooter Five Tool Tool — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:51:00 -0500

Ed. Note and Update: This was posted before the SNF game. Scroll to the bottom for perhaps the biggest Bed Crapping Ever.

In honor of Eagles coach Andy "Help, My Testicles Have Receded And I Can't Stop Kicking Field Goals" Reid, this week's episode of You Crap comes to you from Depends Adult Brand Diapers for men.

If you've got a question about the use of this product, by all means, click here. (Note: The FAQ does not include answers to questions like "How do I avoid thoughts of suicide from not being able to hold my fudge?" and "God, oh God, why have you done this to me?")

We have just two contestants this week, but we're sure that you'll agree that these contestants are well and truly Crap-Tas-Tic. You all know how to play the game. Each week, we give you the chance to out-think people who are actually paid to make NFL decisions. Now, let's all play... You Crap The Bed!

1) You are Minnesota coach Brad Childress. You are up 3-0 in the first quarter at home against the awful Lions, despite sloppy play so far. After a missed Jason Hanson field goal, you drive to the red zone with ridiculous ease, including wide-open throws to emerging wideout Sidney Rice, and a nearly took it to the house 13-yard run by all-world RB Adrian Peterson. On first and ten, you call:

a) Peterson again, since he's the best running back in Creation, and the Lions seem actively afraid of tackling him

b) Rice on a pattern in the end zone, since the Lions are just ready for their kill shot, and the Lions secondary are treating him as if he's got H1N1

c) TE Vincente Schiancoe over the middle, since QB Brett Favre has always worked well with his TEs in the red zone

d) A bubble screen to exciting rookie WR Percy Harvin, who is quite good at making plays in space, or

e) A slow-developing gimmicky reverse of Peterson to Harvin, because when a defense is getting no push, you want to trick them

If you chose (e), preferably while licking flakes of lead paint, congratulations... You Crapped The Bed! And you've won an ugly and pointless fumble turnover from your exciting but fumble-prone skill players, life for the road team in what should be the squash game of the day, and a delay of the garbage time that this game begged for.

But since the bed wasn't crapped enough, Super Brad wants -- nay, demands! -- another turn!

2) You are still Minnesota coach Brad Childress. With your offense in cruise control with over 200 more yards than the Lions, it's 10-0 with 4:30 left in the first half. On fourth and 1 from the Lions 7, you choose to:

a) Kick the chip shot field goal, because honestly, it's hard to see how the Lions are going to score one touchdown when you dominate them at the lines like this, let alone twice

b) Run it with that Peterson fellow, who, as we have previously established, is the best RB in the NFL

c) Throw it to Rice, who has only 145 yards (!) in the first 25 freaking minutes of this game

d) Run a QB sneak with Favre, not that you really want your ancient media whore QB to take a hit, but at least if he converts, you get the fun of the full-on knob slobbing over how He's Just A Kid Out There, or

e) Try to trick the bad defense with no push AGAIN by running a quick hitter fullback dive in the middle of the line to someone named Jeff Dugan, since Dugan has only ran it eight times in five years

If you chose (e) while continuing to stick forks into plugged in toasters, all the while treating the Lions like a playoff contender, rather than a putrid 1-7 team on the road, well sir... well done. You are our very first double winner on You Crap The Bed!

And you've won a de facto red zone turnover, the continuing hatred of the fantasy and gambling public, and the slow building of the case that despite world-class talent, your team can't win because the coach is an unmatched dunderhead. Well played, sir, well played... but as we shall see, not well played enough. Cap'n Andy, Come On Down!

3) You are Eagles coach Andy Reid. Down 14-0 to the Chargers on the road, you see QB Donovan McNabb heat up to lead the team to a first and goal from the one. On first down, you send Leonard Weaver into the line for no gain. Second down is the inevitable play action roll out pass that fools no one, so McNabb throws it away. Third down sees Eldra Buckley (Note: Brian Westbrook was not yet concussed, you also had Weaver and LeSean McCoy, but by all means, bring in a young special teams player) get close but not in. So on fourth down, you choose to:

a) Sneak it with McNabb, who is a 6' 4" man that should be athletic enough to move it forward six inches

b) Give the ball to Weaver, who is your best power back, and, um, a fullback and all

c) Try play action, maybe with McNabb in motion, since the man is fairly mobile

d) Throw to your larger receivers (Brent Celek or Jason Avant, both of who will have huge games today), or

e) Send out the field goal unit when you are down two touchdowns, failure puts the Chargers 99 yards away from a score, and the field goal writes it large in the California sky that you think your offensive line isn't good enough to run in any situation

If you choose (e) while slowly filling your diaper, congratulations. And that warm feeling you got was so good, you had to try it again!

4) Once more, you are Andy Reid. It's now 21-6 Chargers, with six minutes left in the third quarter. On third and one from the Chargers seven yard line, you roll out McNabb, who misfires with DeSean Jackson in the back corner of the end zone, all while the home crowd snickers from your utter lack of conviction in your offensive line or running backs. On fourth down, do you:

a) Grow a pair and/or some sort of spine and call a running play, seeing how the play calls in this game are going to wind up as five passes for every run, and the Chargers will probably be too surprised to defend it

b) Run a play from that all-powerful Wildcat that hasn't worked all year, but was going to be so important with the supremely exciting Michael Vick on the roster

c) Throw it to Avant, for the love of God, he's having the game of his life with 155 yards, he's your biggest WR with the best hands, he's like a freaking TE on the edge, I'm begging you

d) Throw it to Celek, for the love of all that's holy, he's your breakout TE, McNabb throws lasers at him that he catches more often than not, you just can't take another freaking field goal here, or

e) Kick another field goal, all while assuring yourself that Norv Turner still has 21 more minutes of game time to figure out how to blow the game bigger than you have

And if you chose (e) yet again, your double-crap, double wide puts you in exalted You Crap The Bed territory, really. Should we just rename the show after Captain Andy? Let us know in the comments.

Well, I'm afraid that's all we have time for this week. But remember, with a little fiber, determination and inspiration -- or the security in knowing that even if you do have a little accident, Depends Brand Adult Diapers will keep your pants secure, just like Andy Reid -- you too can... Crap The Bed! Good night, everybody!

Update -- Well, folks, we hated to have to come back to the studio and fire up the cameras for a fifth bed crapping. We've lost the studio audience, and all of the production people are aghast. But when you Crap The Bed in the biggest regular season game of the year, in front of a national television audience... well, let's play the game, shall we?

5) You are New England coach Bill Belichick. You have 4thn and 2 from your own 28 yard line, and a 34-28 lead over the unbeaten smoke and mirrors Colts. With 2:05 left, do you:

a) Punt the ball. You'll make Peyton Manning go at least 70 to 80 yards with two minutes left, and while he's done that plenty, it's not like it's a lead pipe cinch. Besides, your defense has multiple picks, and you can't possibly risk giving Manning a short field there.

b) No, seriously, punt the ball. Your running game hasn't salted this one away, and while Tom Brady has been hot, you can't be certain that the offensive line is going to give you enough time.

c) Wait a minute, you really are thinking of not punting the ball? You do realize that if this screws up, you'll be a nationwide laughingstock, and every non-fool on the planet will be giving you the Nelson Muntz?

d) Oh my sainted aunt, you really are going to go for it. Why not just go spit in the face of your defensive team before you do this? Because there's really no bigger way to say that you have absolutely no faith in your defense than to say that they can't prevent a touchdown drive of 70 yards in the last two minutes. If this goes badly for you, you more or less blow off home field in the playoffs. Hell, maybe you even spiral down the stretch, since the team now has to worry about you not having their back.

e) Go for it, and run a 2.5 yard out to third-down back Kevin Faulk, not Wes Welker, not Randy Moss, because there's no earthly way that this could fail. I mean, after all, you are Bill Belichick! Everything you do is perfect!

If you choose (e), watch Faulk juggle the ball and lose the all-important yard as he goes to ground, and compound the error by not having a timeout to challenge a possible spot of the ball that could have given the refs a chance to bail your unbelievably arrogant ass out... CONGRATULATIONS, Bill Belichick, You Have Utterly And Completely Crapped The Bed!

And you've won a national consensus that you've lost your foolish mind, a possible backdoor hope to the rest of the AFC East that maybe the division isn't out of reach, most reasonable chance that you could get a top 2 seed and a first round bye, and some epically stained sheets. You can now spend, potentially, the rest of the season in a Lady MacBeth like manner, trying to scrub this stain out, and it's not coming. Alas, poor Cheater, We Mock You Well; this (almost) makes me forget Reid's afternoon in San Diego. You, Sir, have redefined Bed Crapping In Our Time.

And with that, good night, and good infamy. Once again, congratulations, Bill Belichick!

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Detroit Lions-Minnesota Vikings Post-Game Comments

Michael Schottey — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 17:49:12 -0500

Waiting for the Detroit Lions to become available for the media is not a rewarding job. The mood is morose, and mostly depressing. The Detroit local media are pals and get along rather well, but even they find it hard to joke around as they wait to ask another round of questions to a 1-8 team.

I recognized the usual faces. Tom Kowalski is, literally, the size of many NFL linemen—just not as wide. John Niyo, in person, looks nothing like Rob Parker. Brian VanOchten is quiet and unassuming and just tall enough to have the top of his head at eye level.

As the locker room opened, one could still hear the random noise of athletes tossing chairs or equipment across the room in frustration. As a veteran of a few losing locker rooms, it was easy to assume that this would be a fruitless enterprise.

Schwartz was the first to step up to the podium.

The first question, and much of the press conference, centered around half time adjustments and the Lions play right after the half. This week, a fumble killed any momentum the Lions had gained with a late first-half touchdown.

Schwartz, protected his quarterback through much of the press conference. When asked how Stafford handled the pressure of the touch (and loud) Metrodome crowd, Schwartz begged off the question and answered that his whole team didn't handle pressure well.

When asked about late game inaccuracy by Stafford, Schwartz answered instead about late game protection issues. Schwartz explained that you cannot expect accuracy when a QB is getting hit on three-step drops.

Schwartz shed light on why Louis Delmas, Aaron Brown, and Cliff Avril didn't play this week.

Louis Delmas was in so much pain after warmups, that his infected tooth/jaw left him unable to speak, run, or hit. Schwartz explained that Delmas, one of the toughest guys he knows, would have played if he was able. He simply was in too much pain.

As for Avril and Brown, they were simple, healthy scratches.

Schwartz declined to critique the play of the men as they sat. It was a "game plan decision." As the Lions wanted to activate Vinny Ciurciu and Melvin White to help contain Percy Harvin on kickoffs. Harvin finished the game with one return for 29 yards.

Stafford was next to the podium and took much more credit for his play than Schwartz would assign to him—a credit to his character. Stafford, for a rookie, is a leader on the field and is the first to take blame that perhaps would be better pinned on one of his linemen or receivers.

"I didn't play as well as I probably could have."

Stafford also gave credit to the Vikings who are "good up front" (understatement of the year) and also came with numerous unexpected stunts and blitzes to harass the rookie.

Tom Kowalski again pressed on Stafford's inaccuracy—again asking why so many balls in the second half were low, seemingly one-hopping to his receivers. Stafford didn't want to answer, saying "every situation is different."

The next quote, from Killer, was priceless—"Why do you always blow that question off?"

Stafford chuckled and repeated himself, offering to sit and review tape with Kowalski later and explain every situation.

Stafford put on his Detroit Tigers hat and got ready to load up.

Stafford's linemen repaid the favor, refusing to assign blame to the rookie and taking it on themselves. Gosder Cherilus called Stafford a "tough kid" and Raiola praised the rookie saying, "That's why he's the first pick, that's why he's our future."

Calvin Johnson, who caught eight balls on 13 targets, declined an interview with Niyo, Kowalski, and myself. "I got nothing for ya."

All-in-all this is a team that, compared to other years, is very accountable for it's actions. There is very little blame being shuffled around and, in my opinion, that starts with the coach and the quarterback.

Opposing quarterback, Brett Favre, tried to be complementary to the visiting team, but it was clear that this was an easier game to win. Favre explained that in several situations he saw the Lions in pass coverage, situations where he normally would check to a run. This game, he didn't.

Even with the Lions loaded against the pass, Favre slung it anyway, to a tune of 344 yards—many of those to Sidney Rice who had a phenomenal game.

Clearly the Lions have a lot of work to do.

More game recap, analysis, and quotes from the Metrodome, Monday morning. Check back then, and on Wednesday when I will be interviewing former Lions Tight End, David Sloan.

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Detroit Lions Halftime Musings: How Will They Let Us Down This Week?

Dean Holden — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:25:19 -0500

Despite effectively being dominated, the Detroit Lions are hanging in there against the Minnesota Vikings.

But here comes the second half.

You know what's coming, but you don't know how.

It's never as easy as the Lions just getting blown away from start to finish. That would make it less disappointing.

The Lions' trademark has become losing games, but giving fans hope of a win first.

Even a game like this, where the Lions are double-digit underdogs, they've forced a couple of turnovers, gotten a fourth-down stop, and generally kept the game close.

The Lions could win this game.

They could, but they won't. They'll lose in heartbreaking fashion, and the only remaining question is how.

This is what it means to be a Lions fan. Every close game we think the Lions can win, we can only wonder what reason there will be for them to lose.

So now, as the Vikings and Lions have traded touchdowns, I will watch, helpless to my team's inevitable fate. They look like a decent team, one capable of winning this football game.

And that's why it hurts so much. The anticipation is killing me.

But not as much as the loss will.

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Detroit Lions vs. Minnesota Vikings LIVE Coverage

Michael Schottey — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 09:09:24 -0500

Welcome Lions fans to a Bleacher Report FIRST!

This afternoon, yours truly will be credentialed into the Detroit Lions-Minnesota Vikings football game as they square-off at 1:00 PM EST in Minneapolis at the Hubert H. Humphey Metrodome.

During the game, I will be providing LIVE updates from the Press Box at the Metrodome.

For the best fan interaction, FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER where I will be streaming my consciousness out into the Internet.

I will also post my game notes at half time.

Also during the contest, I will be taking fan questions as I prepare for the media interview session. Have something to ask Coach Schwartz, or Matthew Stafford? Ask me and I will do my best to pass it along.

For the latest Week 10 Injury Report, Click Here

Ernie Sims is out and will not be available.
Jordan Dizon, Larry Foote, and Dewayne White are all game time decisions.
For the Vikings, Antoine Winfield is out and will not play.

That is all for now, head on over to Twitter and click the follow button for all of the most up-to-date news and notes live from the Metrodome, and make sure you check back during halftime for news and analysis.

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