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This Week in Annoying: The Worst in Sports Right Now

Gabe Zaldivar — Fri, 17 May 2013 19:40:33 -0400

Soccer pranks and tennis tirades lead a list of sports' most annoying moments from an otherwise tolerable week.

Welcome back to another addition of me being a grumpy sports fan, signaling out all that is wrong with this lovely athletic landscape; should be fun.

Last week we highlighted the Spurs screamer and that awful lady who flipped off Joakim Noah. This is what we are talking about, my friends; the extracurriculars that make you step back and think, well, that was rather unnecessary.

Go ahead and nominate the people and moments that unsettled your stomach just a tad over the last few days, and go ahead and throw me in the lot if you like as well.

Without further ado, here is what really grinds my gears.

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Stoke City Spat Starts After Player Puts Pig's Head in Another's Locker

Gabe Zaldivar — Fri, 17 May 2013 17:09:23 -0400

Just a suggestion: Never put a pig's head in Kenwyne Jones' locker.

The Telegraph (h/t Big Lead) reports on a Stoke City prank that went awry recently, causing an internal investigation as to why a pig head found its way into the striker's locker.

The report alleges Jones found the bloody head on Friday, a prank that set him off on a brief mission of revenge.

Thankfully, American Brek Shea was around to capture an image of the pig that set a locker room aflame in bad will.

Fine, Jones will see your pig's head and raise you a brick through the windshield, because he did just that to Glenn Whelan's car.

As noted, Whelan is the prime suspect in the polarizing prank and will soon have to answer to team officials well before the club leaves for their Sunday fixture against Southampton.

If you weren't already aware Stoke City frowns upon severed heads being placed in colleague's lockers, the team released the following statement:

The Club takes seriously reports of an incident at our Training Ground this afternoon.

A full internal investigation will be carried out and those responsible for any unacceptable behaviour will be dealt with in accordance with the Club’s disciplinary procedures.

If I might translate: We can't believe we couldn't make it a full season without some sort of pig head kerfuffle taking over the locker room. Someone is going to get a slap on the wrist and hit to the wallet.

Well, you learn something new every day. And I learned that the natural progression of events is as follows: pig's head in locker; brick through windshield; everyone run away before whatever takes place next.

Jones wasn't the only person to take the prank seriously, because the striker's girlfriend, Kissa Abdullah, had some interesting things to say on Twitter:

I am sure teammates will soon come together in the harmony only the pitch can provide. As for future teammates of Jones who happen upon a pig's head, leave it alone.

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Texans Star J.J. Watt Surprises 12-Year-Old Leukemia Patient as Only He Can

Gabe Zaldivar — Fri, 17 May 2013 15:53:24 -0400

Cristian Beasley is a 12-year old with leukemia who spends most of his time fighting the disease from home, away from other school children. This week, he had a surprise visit from his hero: Houston Texans star J.J. Watt.

KHOU reports on just the latest story of Watt going above and beyond for one of his fans.

On most school days, Beasley uses a special machine that allows him to interact with students and teachers from the comfort of his own room.

The report states he is "one of 34 students across the country using the VGo telepresence system. From a home computer they can control a small robot, drive from class to class, and take part in classroom lectures and discussions."

The mechanical marvel is something of an extension of Cristian, one that he nicknamed after his favorite NFL player.

Yes, the robot is named "Watt."

Well, the NFL star who shares the same name happened upon this remarkable story and decided to make the kid's day. Remember, this is the same player who once proposed to a six-year-old who was distraught because she couldn't marry her sports hero.

Not one to pass up an opportunity to lift spirits, Watt went to Splendora, Texas, and surprised the young man at his house. The video from KHOU is priceless.

“What are you working on,” Watt whispered as Cristian turned around.

“Oh my God,” said the 6th grader dressed for school in his J.J. Watt jersey and a Houston Texans knit cap.

“What’s up buddy,” said Watt. “I’m J.J., nice to meet you man.”

“Oh my God,” is all Cristian could mutter again.

As the report states, Watt spent more than two hours with his fan. The two tossed the pigskin around and went to visit the other students at school. Cristian's mom noted that the timing couldn't have been any better for her son, as he is preparing for another round of chemotherapy this Monday.

The school is preparing to throw a fundraiser this Saturday to help alleviate medical costs, and Watt provided some things to help the boy get through another round of treatment.

Among the gifts he gave the boy were a set of “eye black” football patches that Watt told him would make him look tough. He told Cristian to use them when he needed an emotional lift and to remember that he always has a robot and a real guy named Watt rooting for him.

It doesn't matter what team you root for or what you think of the Texans as a whole. The bottom line is that Watt is a fantastic player and tremendous human being.

Not only did he take time to make the day of a young fan, but he thoroughly enjoyed doing it. That sort of professional athlete is all too rare these days.

We are all rooting for you, J.J. And that goes double for you, Cristian.

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The Most Surprising Names on Sports Illustrated's Fotunate 50 List

Dustin Hull — Fri, 17 May 2013 14:59:14 -0400

Sports Illustrated recently released their Fortunate 50 list, ranking the highest-paid athletes based on salary, winnings and endorsement deals.

No one is shocked to see athletes like LeBron James, Peyton Manning and Tiger Woods on the list, but there were a few names that might surprise some readers.

Whether it was huge signing bonuses, being picked up by new sponsors or just flat out being overpaid, there were plenty of unexpected names on the SI list.

Here are a few of the more astonishing results on the list.

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The Best Sports Billboards Ever

Jessica Isner — Fri, 17 May 2013 14:24:03 -0400

If you have something to say, be loud about it. Be proud about it.

Put it on a billboard.

Nothing says you're serious like putting your thoughts out there for all the world to see on a three-story-high poster.

Billboards aren't just for advertising underwear or car dealerships anymore; if you think you know which quarterback should really be the starter and you have enough money, you can put it on a billboard. If you really want that offseason's marquee free agent to land in your town, put in on a billboard. If you think another college football team's fans are getting a little bit too big for their britches...

You guessed it.

And you can draw from the techniques of the following legends.

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Inside-the-Park Home Run Ends with Marvelous Flip at Home for LSU Player

Gabe Zaldivar — Fri, 17 May 2013 14:17:02 -0400

Hitting an inside-the-park home run hardly needs a grand finish, but this LSU player seems to be the flashy type.

Big Lead reports on an exhausting run around the bases for one college baseball player that ends in a brief and presumably nauseating flight through the air.

It all went down in the sixth inning of this week's game between LSU and Ole Miss.

Raph Rhymes, who, incidentally, has the coolest name in sports at the moment, hits a shot to center, which bounces past the center fielder. Rhymes races around second and gets the go-ahead to sprint for home. It's at this point that we notice our slugger here is running out of steam.

Of course, that means a close play at home is at hand.

An Ole Miss player makes a tenuous throw that brings catcher Stuart Turner out toward third base. That's when Rhymes gets his legs taken out and goes head-over-heels, but he takes it like a champ.

As if hitting an inside-the-park dinger wasn't exhausting enough, Rhymes was forced to pull off some acrobatics just to make it home safely.

LSU would go on to win the game 7-1 behind four home runs—one of which was far more labor intensive than the others.

This particular play was like getting a free dessert from a restaurant, only to walk outside and get an ice cream cone handed to you. This Rhymes kid found a way to make an inside-the-park slam all the more scintillating.

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Scottie Pippen Takes LeBron James over Michael Jordan Via Chatty Alonzo Mourning

Gabe Zaldivar — Fri, 17 May 2013 12:59:50 -0400

Alonzo Mourning has no problems telling you what's on Scottie Pippen's mind.

Daily Backcourt spotted the most intriguing portion of a recent Microsoft store opening in Miami featuring the former NBA center.

As their report states, the 43-year-old spoke about "how important it was for Microsoft to stay a part of the community and translating that to the world of basketball."

That's all well and good, but I'm just concerned with the lack of Rony Seikaly at a Miami-area store opening.

The seven-time All-Star big man began fielding questions, which inevitably turned to LeBron James and Michael Jordan. That's when Mourning decided to do some much-needed gossiping about his latest chill session with Jordan's former teammate, Pippen.

Mourning, knowing his audience, brought the house down with the following: "I'm gonna tell you what Scottie said. Scottie said that LeBron would kick MJ's ass."

Mourning went ahead and agreed with Pippen's assessment, so we have to think there is a two-on-one game being planned by Jordan at the moment.

Of course, these are the kinds of sound bites that happen a few times a year and spark the usual Jordan vs. (insert latest superstar name) discussions. Phil Jackson provided his own debate ice breaker with recent statements in his new book about Kobe Bryant and Jordan.

Now, from the middle of a Microsoft store opening, comes yet another wave of the Greatest Of All Time against the world.

Sound off in the comments section below, because I am confident you have thoughts. I am still trying to figure out who would win between Zo and Larry Johnson. I have my money on Grandmama.

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Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn Take Relationship to the Next Level

Gabe Zaldivar — Fri, 17 May 2013 12:08:32 -0400

Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy hangs out with girl on his ridiculously huge boat with his kids from a previous marriage.

This classic tale played out recently between Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn on the golf megastar's yacht, and Yahoo!'s OMG! section has all the details.

Woods, 37, was photographed this week hanging out with a bikini clad Vonn, 28, at his home in Palm Beach, Florida. The athletic duo was spotted fishing on Woods's million-dollar yacht — ironically named Privacy — with his daughter Sam, 6, and son Charlie, 4. These are Woods's two children with ex-wife Elin Nordegren, who actually lives nearby. Vonn and Woods's romance must be getting serious if she is spending quality time with his kids.

Woods and Vonn have ramped their relationship up and are heading straight for the beautiful but boring phase of the courtship.

Soon, we expect the two to spend their weekends watching a marathon of The West Wing or Arrested Development while the smell of burnt popcorn fills the house.

Don't worry, because that is the good stage—perhaps even the best stage—for them to be in. It's the moment in a relationship when a pizza stain on the sweater isn't cause for dismissal, but for a good laugh and an endearing hug.

As for Woods, this week is shaping up to be far better than last. OMG! reminds us that sports' newest power couple had an eventful night after attending the Met Gala last Monday. Woods and Vonn headed out to the Boom Boom Room for the after party, and the golfer was noticeably uncomfortable and awkward. There might be a reason behind his behavior, though.

When it was time to go, around 2 a.m., a seemingly tipsy Woods fell while walking up a small flight of stairs—and didn't move from the spot until Vonn, clenching her teeth and looking embarrassed, helped him up and guided him (swaying a bit as he walked) to the exit, according to a witness.

Eh, nothing a Bloody Mary and some Tylenol couldn't cure the next morning.

Yahoo!'s OMG! informs us that this isn't the first time the famed alpine skier has spent some time with Woods' children, noting, "Her brother gave Sam and Charlie ski lessons in Colorado last fall."

From supportive cameos at the Masters to nursing an allegedly boozed-up Woods, these two crazy kids seem to be getting mighty serious.

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Kobe Bryant Fears Nothing, Not Even Sharks

Sean Hojnacki — Fri, 17 May 2013 00:12:26 -0400

I don't know if Kobe Bryant has seen Jaws, but I'm willing to bet that he has.

I guess he didn't understand the movie's message: Sharks can eat you.

Statistically speaking, the average swimmer is extremely unlikely to be attacked by a shark. But if you just saw some sharks hanging around your boat, it would be courageous at best and colossally stupid at worst to hop in the water after them.

And yet that's precisely what Bryant did on one fishing trip off the coast of California.

Did anyone tell the Los Angeles Lakers about this?

Accompanied by Eric Avar from Nike, Bryant decided to go for an impromptu swim in waters patrolled by large pelagic fish, including friendly whales and man-eating sharks. At least it's not all bad.

Nike rep Heidi Burgett tweeted out a photo of the exhibit.

Kelly Dwyer of Yahoo! Sports supplied the larger version of Burgett's photo.

Daniel Buerge from Lakers Nation did us the favor of transcribing the text:

Avar witnessed Kobe Bryant’s alpha male personality firsthand on a deep sea fishing trip about 60 miles from Newport, California. “There are sharks, whales, dolphins all around, and he’s like, ‘If I jump, will you jump?’ I’m like, ‘Dude, we just saw sharks.’ He says, ‘Come on.’ No sooner do I say okay, he takes off his shirt and jumps. I literally grab my camera, and got this shot just in time.

We all know that Bryant drips with toughness on the court, as he has proven over 16 stellar seasons in the NBA, but hopping into the deep blue sea requires an entirely different temperament.

I know if I were a multimillionaire and future NBA Hall of Famer (admittedly, that's a big if), I wouldn't be taking any chances on becoming lunch for some peckish shark.

Now, there's no word on what species of shark Bryant and Avar had seen earlier that day, so perhaps they were just some cuddly blacktip reef sharks venturing out. I highly doubt they were great whites, but why even take the chance? Just go swimming in your infinity pool!

But Kobe is just brash enough to test the odds for the sake of a refreshing splash in the ocean.

There have been sightings of great white sharks near Newport Beach, as well as a fatal shark attack in 2008 at a nearby beach, according to the Los Angeles Times. A dozen people were killed by sharks in 2011, numbering among 75 attacks worldwide, according to Reuters, via the Telegraph.

But it's important to remember that Bryant is much more of a danger to sharks than they are to him. According to Oceana.org, "[F]or every one human killed by a shark, there are approximately 25 million sharks killed by humans."

Now, if we could only keep Bryant out of shark-infested waters for both his sake and the sharks'.

Perhaps someone should call up Robert Shaw's chilling monologue about the sinking of the USS Indianapolis to help convince Bryant to stay out of the water.

Maybe that can scare him straight.

Follow @TheRealHojnacki

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Predicting the Next Big Sports Meme

Eric Newman — Thu, 16 May 2013 23:00:31 -0400

Tebowing, Teo'ing, Kaepernicking, Dufnering, and Torresing. Ugh! We're all tired of taking a knee, pointing a finger, kissing our biceps, sitting against a wall, and staring wide-eyed. Give us something new. Something wacky. Something unique.

Sorry to say folks, we're experiencing a sports-social-media-trend lull. But fear not, possibilities abound. Lots of athletes and regular sporting folk are out there clowning around as you read this. Something is likely to catch fire and give us all new GIFs to tweet forth.

Click on to see what memes may come.

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25 Ways Everybody in Sports Cheats

Nick Dimengo — Thu, 16 May 2013 22:53:47 -0400

No one ever wants to be labeled as a cheater, but truth be told that it happens in sports more than players, coaches and fans would like to admit.

While we've seen a number of questionable cheats in sports over the years, there are a ton more that get overlooked because they're often just accepted each game.

Though no one will ever admit to actually trying to cheat, we're giving you 25 different ways people do it in sports today, and ranking them from one through five, with one being not that bad and five being just about the worst thing ever.

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Mets' Daniel Murphy Pulls off Beautiful Magic Trick, Hits Ball Through Wall

Gabe Zaldivar — Thu, 16 May 2013 18:56:25 -0400

Hit 'em where they ain't.

That's sound advice in any era, and it worked wonders Thursday when the Mets' Daniel Murphy managed to hit a ball into the one area of the park that was off limits to outfielders.

Thanks to MLB.com, we have wonderful video that allows you to savor the best moment from the Mets' recent win over the St. Louis Cardinals at Busch Stadium over and over again.

Here is a look at a ground-rule double vanishing into thin air.

Upon closer view, you can plainly see the ball finds the one crack in the fence that would mandate Carlos Beltran to throw up his hands in disgust.

OK, the right fielder is signaling the ball is gone, a gift to the baseball gods, but it's nice to think Beltran offered something to the effect of, "You've got to be kidding me."

Alas, it was just that kind of day for the Mets. Jonathon Niese shook off some rather lackluster starts to put together a fine game, throwing seven-plus innings and allowing just two runs on six hits.

The relatively hapless Mets managed a win on a day of fate and did everything possible to get themselves over the hump in St. Louis.

Murphy, the magician of the day, went 4-for-4 with a walk and two runs scored. Oh, there's also that large fence he managed to get past in remarkable fashion.

Sure, it won't help any of you fantasy owners out there, but it's still impressive.

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Fans Who Were a Bigger Story Than the Game

Dan Carson — Thu, 16 May 2013 17:58:49 -0400

While many sports fans like to “get into” the game, a rare few out there literally get into the game, becoming in one way or another as much a part of it all as the players themselves.

Some people don’t like peripheral sports stories about fans in the news. If it’s not tallied in the box score or recorded by the stat-keeper, it’s not sports in their mind.

Unfortunately for those people (and fortunately for the rest of us who value humor and/or joy in life), there are times when even the driest game recap can’t help but include a fan whose presence was impossible to ignore.

The following are the fans who made more headlines than the outcome of the game itself. Some stole the spotlight with their amazing personal stories, while others did it through abject idiocy or interfering in the play on the field.

They're all different but have one thing in common: they either managed to affect the score or reduce the outcome to a Page 6 afterthought.

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Viktor Troicki's Tennis Meltdown Was a Breathtaking and Beautiful Masterpiece

Gabe Zaldivar — Thu, 16 May 2013 17:25:22 -0400

Viktor Troicki had a slight difference of opinion with chair umpire Cedric Mourier, which led to the most beautiful mental breakdown I have ever seen.

Beyond the Baseline on SI.com (h/t Big Lead) spotted a tirade even John McEnroe has to be a tad jealous of.

It all goes down during Troicki's match against Ernests Gulbis Wednesday at the Italian Open. Troicki hit one long and lost the game to Gulbis—at least, that is how the umpire saw matters.

As you can see, a slow saunter to the other side of the court for the 27-year-old Serbian player leads to a prolonged debate and eventual bedlam.

I really feel like Troicki missed his calling, because he had me absolutely convinced that shot was inbounds. In fact, I am willing to believe pretty much anything this guy wants to sell me.

The back-and-forth reaches its apogee when the frustrated athlete pleads, "There is no chance it’s out. From the space you can see it’s there!"

That's when the crowd—who until that moment sat in silence, as people tend to do when an awkward encounter ensues—gives a resounding applause for the impromptu comedian.

Well, Troicki here is a prop comic and decides to get the cameraman in on the gag. As if the previous moments of shouting weren't enough entertainment, Troicki brings the man holding the camera to the spot so we could get visual confirmation.

I couldn't really tell if it is in or not, but I welcome you to voice your opinions. Not that I need to actually see if there is any space between the line and the dirt, because Troicki sold me on it.

Troicki would lose the match (6-1, 6-1), but he certainly won a fan right here.

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The Evolution of David Beckham's Hairstyles

Gabe Zaldivar — Thu, 16 May 2013 16:08:51 -0400

David Beckham is walking off the pitch for good, and he is taking his polarizing hairstyles with him.

With that, the entire sports world reflects on a tenure that took the football star from a young kid delighting Manchester United fans to a global icon who has played in nearly every continent.

All the while, Beckham has transcended the pitch to affect everything from American opinions on the sport to references in every conceivable artistic medium.

Oh, and then there was the hair—or lack thereof.

We can talk at length about the impact this man has had on the sport he loves or his precision on the pitch that made him such a treat to watch.

For now, however, let's have a little fun with a look at the hairstyle choices of world football's most famous player.

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Maddy Armstrong Provides Strong Leadership for Lethbridge Steel

Mark Staffieri — Thu, 16 May 2013 13:53:32 -0400

As one of the leaders for the Lethbridge Steel of the Western Women’s Canadian Football League, Maddy Armstrong is an anchor on the team’s defensive line.

With the Steel having finished as runner-up in the 2012 WWCFL championship game, Armstrong is eager for another opportunity for the league title this season.

Like many women in the WWCFL, Armstrong plays both offense and defense. Donning No. 14, she competes at the fullback position on offense, while lining up on the defensive line. While her priority is to give the Steel an opportunity to win, the offensive side of the game has emerged as her preference. “This season, offense has to be my favorite," Armstrong said. "I am always hungry to help the team put points up on the board.”

Compared to other women in the WWCFL, Armstrong did not grow up as a fan of pro football. While other players had cheered for their home teams in the Canadian Football League, Armstrong’s interest in football came from a chance encounter.

“I never really had an interest in football before our first season, but three or four of my close friends saw the posting for the team and decided they wanted to play and that I should come along for the ride. Best decision I have ever made!”

That decision has paid remarkable dividends for Armstrong. She was one of the key leaders for a Steel squad that finished the 2012 WWCFL season with an undefeated record and first place in the Western Conference. Named as the Steel’s Most Outstanding Lineman in 2012, the award is a great point of pride to her.

“It’s always an honor to know that your team and coaches recognize all your had work and skills on the field. But the most special part of last season for me was the success we reached as a team. I was only a small part of a huge team effort.”

During the Steel’s first game of the 2013 season, the squad made a bold statement. Despite a new look roster composed of many rookies; veterans like Armstrong brought a solid presence to the gridiron. With a 74-0 trouncing of the expansion Okotoks Lady Outlawz, Armstrong and her teammates are working towards another run at the title.

“A win is always an exciting feeling. It is obviously part of our team goals for the season. The win was the product of a lot of preseason work by both athletes and coaches. We have a large rookie contingent this season, but with the poise and confidence they played with last Saturday, no one would know it was their first game ever. For me this was the most exciting part of our first win.”

With an offseason spent reflecting on a visceral 64-21 loss to the Saskatoon Valkyries in the 2012 WWCFL championship, Armstrong is committed to bringing the Steel to the next level. Armstrong acknowledges that winning a championship will incorporate many aspects.

“In order for Steel to take another championship this season, we will need to continue with high tempo practices, in-depth white board and video sessions, a high level of commitment from athletes and coaches, as well as a cohesive team atmosphere.

“During our short seasons in the WWCFL, we have always been the smallest team in regards to size and numbers, but in my eyes always the most connected. I felt this was a huge part of our success in the past, and it will be a crucial ingredient to any future successes.”

“All quotes obtained first hand unless otherwise indicated”

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Steve Smith Clowns Jets QB Mark Sanchez with Sandwich Joke

Gabe Zaldivar — Thu, 16 May 2013 13:46:59 -0400

It's still open season on Mark Sanchez.

CBS New York (h/t NFL.com) reports Carolina Panthers receiver Steve Smith had some interesting things to say about New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez.

The moment came when Smith was on the air, co-hosting WFAN's The Drive.

"He sucks. I wouldn’t let Mark Sanchez throw me a paper bag sandwich," Smith said of Sanchez.

Ouch.

According to a tweet referenced by CBS New York, the comment came during a discussion about CBS Sports' Will Brinson and his recent quarterback rankings.

For the curious out there, Sanchez was ranked No. 30 alongside recently drafted Geno Smith, with the following comment:

30. Geno Smith or Mark Sanchez, Jets: This is where things start to get ugly. My money is on Geno to win the job and for Sanchez to eventually get discarded by a new regime in New York.

That's not exactly a great deal of confidence in Sanchez. Still, I would imagine Brinson would accept any delicious sandwiches Sanchez might be tossing around.

NFL.com notes that Sanchez has answered and decided to take the on-ramp to the high road, offering the following via USA Today's Mike Garafolo:

Let's see if good manners can win a quarterback duel.

As for Smith, he was more than likely playing the part of shock jock in his stint on the radio. In an effort to come across as funny and edgy, he completely annihilated a fellow NFL player.

Sanchez jokes are nearly as easy as ragging on Tebow, so we don't blame him for the low-hanging fruit. Still, Sanchez now has some extra motivation in his latest attempt to keep the starting job.

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Richard Sherman Hires Shamed NFL Replacement Ref to Work Celebrity Softball Game

Gabe Zaldivar — Thu, 16 May 2013 12:14:52 -0400

Let's just hope there isn't a close call at home plate.

NFL.com reports star Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman is digging deep for a topical and funny cameo for his July 7 softball game in Seattle by inviting Lance Easley to officiate the proceedings.

While you might not be familiar with the name, you'll certainly recognize Easley's work. The NFL replacement referee is the man who famously called an obvious interception by the Green Bay Packers' M.D. Jennings as a touchdown for Seattle's Golden Tate on Monday Night Football.

The Week 3 game ended as a 14-12 win for the hometown Seahawks.

If you still don't remember, here is a gander into what life was like without the real refs running the show.

Sherman, a man who is as much about having a great time as he is stopping the opposition, saw a great opportunity with a fun event and took it.

This is the same man who walked Bourbon Street and asked fans about this "Richard Sherman" guy and whether he was better than Darrelle Revis, only to reveal that he was Sherman.

He also once decided to take Skip Bayless to task on his own turf.

So, I guess you could say this latest act is perfect for a man who is enjoying the NFL life in every manner possible.

The report points to the softball game's Facebook page that has quite the intriguing description as well as photographic evidence of the man with the tenuous touchdown calls.

Remember the Ref who called TD during the Green Bay Game Monday Night??? His name is Lance Easley and he is going to Umpire for us July 7th! Don't be surprised if a few flags are thrown.

So many questions.

Is Easley as good an umpire as he is a football referee? If so, I would expect mammoth strike zones come July.

Also—something that befuddled NFL.com's Dan Hanzus—what's with the flags? Seems like a mixed metaphor we hope actually comes to fruition. We like to think Sherman's celebrity softball games are far more like MTV's former Rock and Jock spectaculars.

Either way, get ready for some questionable softball calls July 7.

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College Baseball Players Help Couple Save Their 21-Month-Old Son's Life

Gabe Zaldivar — Wed, 15 May 2013 19:20:28 -0400

A group of college baseball players were just out to get some late-night snacks, but managed to play a significant part in saving a little boy's life.

The remarkable story, reported by Lancaster Online's Cindy Stauffer and the Tribune Democrat's Eric Knopsnyder, began at 1 a.m., when several members of the Millersville University Marauder (Pa.) baseball team went out for food, something all too common for college students—athletes or otherwise.

What happened next was neither normal nor expected.

Per the report, two players painted the terrifying image of a father pleading for help:

"We heard two people screaming in a car, and it turned into driveway right in front of us," said Zach Stone, 21, a third baseman. "A dad hopped out of a car and picked up his kid. He just looked limp. ... The kid didn't look like he had any life to him."

Dave Pine, 20, a catcher, said, "He was screaming and yelling, 'My son is choking! He's having a seizure! Somebody help!'"

Many would have panicked and possibly hampered a time-sensitive situation. Instead, the players—who were in Johnstown for a tournament—helped the couple and their 21-month-old son.

Third baseman Tyler McDonald jumped into action with the CPR training he had received.

McDonald calmly told the child's panicking father, Shane Norman, to take off his jacket and put it under the little boy's head, to tilt it back and open his airway.

He told the child's frantic mother, Megan, who was trying to do cardiopulmonary resuscitation, to move the child's tongue out of the way and make sure nothing was blocking his breathing. McDonald then put his ear down next to the child's mouth, to feel if he was still breathing.

In the meantime, Pine called 911 on his cell phone, scanning the nearby street signs and summoning an ambulance.

A true team effort helped to calm a frantic couple and aid a toddler who was in obvious need of care. Players who couldn't assist in obvious ways did whatever they could to help, even standing over mother and child to shield them from the pouring rain.

Stone checked for a pulse and attempted to see if the child, Braydin Norman, would squeeze his finger. The boy did one better and, to the immense relief of the everyone, opened his eyes.

After a trip to the hospital, Shane and Megan Norman found out their boy had a virus, which had caused a fever of 104.3 degrees Fahrenheit.

When their son was healthy enough, the parents tracked down the team that helped their son, showing up before a Mauraders game to take some pictures and get a ball signed—mementos little Braydin will no doubt treasure once he grows up.

One of the best parts of this story is the team's humility, as their coach, Jon Shehan, had no idea what had happened.

Their coach explained his shock at the remarkable tale to Lancaster Online:

"I said, 'Who are you getting your picture taken with?'" said Jon Shehan, of Ephrata, who is the father of two small children, including a son about Braydin's age. "I don't think they understood what they did, and how significant it's going to be for that little boy's life. They were surprisingly humble and nonchalant."

We will let Stone have the last word, because he seems to have his priorities in order:

"We came there just for baseball, and we ran into this family who needed our help. There's a lot more to life than baseball."

Hit me up on Twitter for more moments of awesome: Follow @gabezal

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Korean Angers Baseball Gods, Home Run Trot Ends in Humiliating Fashion

Gabe Zaldivar — Wed, 15 May 2013 17:42:53 -0400

You might want to make sure you clear the fence before celebrating a home run.

Deadspin spotted what has to be the most delightful video of a player getting shamed since Willie Mays Hayes pointed to the fence in Major League II.

Much like that ill-fated boast, this one ends in shame for the slugger.

According to its report, this comes during Wednesday's game between Korean league's Lotte Giants and the last-place NC Dinos.

Giants outfielder Jeon Jun-woo comes to bat in the ninth inning with his team down two and a runner on first base. The stage is set for some major heroics, if not some rather unfortunate hysterics.

With one out, Jun-woo blasts the ball to left field and firmly believes it is gone. I have never met this man, but I am willing to bet he has never believed anything more fervently than this ball was going to clear the fence.

It doesn't.

If you are looking for a side-by-side comparison between this humbling moment in reality and the one cooked up by Hollywood, YouTube user Mykbonet helps you out.

Some of you have tripped and fallen in a public place or messed up a toast with friends. Hell, you may have really embarrassed yourself moments before reading this.

Take a deep breath and give thanks that you never thought to show up a pitcher, only to get laughed at by the opposing team.

Somewhere, a distraught Korean home run hero is proclaiming to anyone who will listen, "It had to be the wind."

Hit me up on Twitter and we can laugh together: Follow @gabezal

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Superstar Athlete Mixtapes: The Early Years

Dan Carson — Wed, 15 May 2013 17:23:00 -0400

Before they were G.O.A.T.s, icons or international sensations, every superstar athlete was just another young talent waiting for a shot at glory.

They were the prodigious up-and-comers of their sports, and luckily for us, some of them had their early magic caught on camera and preserved for posterity’s sake.

The following are mixtapes and film reels of some of the greatest professional athletes the world has ever known. Sure, some of the footage might've been filmed with a toaster, but that’s what happens when you’re dealing with videos that stretch back to the early 1960s.

Hold on to your jock, because we’re about to rip this time machine all around the last half-century.

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Prince Harry and Mark Teixeira Provide Charming Batting Practice Display

Gabe Zaldivar — Wed, 15 May 2013 17:03:08 -0400

Prince Harry seems to have a firm grasp on this baseball stuff.

The Big Lead spotted the posted video from the BBC reporting on Price Harry's latest trip to the United States.

So far, things have been far less eventful than they were for him the last time around.

As the report states, Harry joined New York Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira on a local baseball field to raise awareness for the Harlem RBI organization, a group that provides "inner-city youth with opportunities to Play, Learn and Grow."

It fits perfectly with Harry and his own charitable initiative, Coach Core, which The Daily Mail explains is "dedicated to improving training facilities for inner-city kids."

As for this particular video, the YouTube description explains this is Adam Parsons calling the hard-hitting action, which would be a rather dull event if not for the play-by-play.

We agree with The Big Lead in that the best part is Parsons trying to explain the finer nuances of baseball, which mandates the obvious: "It's a bit like cricket for Americans."

This is hardly to make fun of Parsons, because this is exactly how I might explain cricket to an American sports fan. Having very little knowledge of the popular Brit sport, I would have to go with, "Well, I guess it's sort of like cricket, but with bases and chewing tobacco."

Teixeira, for his part, seems to be tossing up some awfully slow pitches to Harry, but we forgive him. The first baseman is, like many old Yankees players, on the disabled list at the moment.

He is expected to be back by June but may have a spot on the Yankees coaching staff after a day like this. Now, someone get Tex off the field before he hurts himself.

Hit me up on Twitter for more MLB madness: Follow @gabezal.

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Chris 'Birdman' Andersen Is Far More Adorable as a Dressed-Up Baby

Gabe Zaldivar — Wed, 15 May 2013 15:53:24 -0400

Chris "Birdman" Andersen is adorable.

Well, the actual NBA player isn't adorable. I mean, I am sure he is endearing to his friends and some may find him cute, but the real precious individual happens to be the baby below, as he's quite adept at NBA impersonations.

That NBA Lottery Pick spotted the following tweet from Miami Heat fan Alexander Balaez that will have you screaming "Too cute!" at the top of your lungs.

The resemblance...it's uncanny.

Now, as for details, I am at a loss. I have no clue as to why anyone would dress their kid up as the colorful Miami Heat role player—not that I am complaining.

While I don't have kids of my own, I would imagine this is pretty much what you do to them before they can dress themselves. Rumor has it you are also supposed to feed and care for them. Current parents, please don't ruin the surprise for me.

The interesting part, aside from the fact that someone had the time and patience needed to decorate an infant like a bona fide Birdman, is that this is just one instance of Andersen envy.

Yahoo! Sports alerts us to the fact that this is sort of a recent trend. As it notes, there was this baby donning the Birdman hairdo for a Denver Nuggets game.

Then there was this young kid who played the part perfectly as well.

I guess the moral of the story is parents better start drawing all over their kids, because at some point, these children will draw all over you and your walls.

There, you have definitive proof that Chris Andersen can certainly be adorable and that you can certainly get a baby to sit still for a faux tattoo session.

Hit me up on Twitter for more adorable news: Follow @gabezal

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Rob Gronkowski's 24th Birthday Is as You Would Expect from Gronk

Gabe Zaldivar — Wed, 15 May 2013 15:00:14 -0400

Rob Gronkowski's sensible and perfectly refined birthday festivities still featured a great deal of the Gronk hoopla we have come to expect.

The Patriots star tight end is now 24 years old, and we send him our well wishes, especially on the injury he continues to heal from. Busted Coverage found pictorial evidence that things were going fairly smooth for Gronk as he stepped ever closer to 30.

Here are just some images from a soiree that only Gronk could manage. It all goes down, as they state, at the Foxwoods Shrine Asian Kitchen & Lounge.

As it seems, Gronkowski has a big fan in someone who refers to themselves as Nicki II on Twitter.

It seems a day earlier, Gronk was trying out his mad skills at tending a bar rather than ordering from one, according to Busted Coverage.

Of course, this is all just silly peripherals during what is fondly referred to as the Summer of Gronk. We expect the man who trains hard and plays harder to make a full recovery despite some scary news.

As The Boston Globe reported May 9, Gronkowski may have to have a fourth surgery on the fractured left forearm, a decision that will come shortly.

A league source said Wednesday night that a call will be made in two weeks whether to replace the second metal plate that was put in Gronkowski’s arm in January.

That is the timeline because that is when Gronkowski is scheduled to finish his antibiotic therapy.

As Busted Coverage notes, it certainly seems like Gronk is in the best of spirits. Then again, you cannot keep this man down, at least not when there is a great deal of partying to be done.

Happy Birthday to the NFL's resident party animal. We cannot wait for the season to start but are only slightly bummed the current festivities have to end.

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20 Sports Jokes That Aren't Funny Anymore, You Guys

Jessica Isner — Wed, 15 May 2013 14:39:14 -0400

Sports jokes have a shelf life that lasts about as long as the average American Idol winner.

When athletes make fools of themselves, get in trouble or get arrested, nobody can stop talking about them for a while. They are the top story on SportsCenter, Around the Horn, CNN, ABC, SNL, NPR and everything else you might see, hear or click on.

And just as quickly, they are forgotten. Or at least they should be.

Even the most laughable sports scenario gets old after a while, yet some of us just won't let these jokes die like they should have months—or in some cases, years—ago.

Here are some jokes you should stop making ASAP.

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Swiss Player Filomena Bieri Brings Her Love of Football to WWCFL

Mark Staffieri — Wed, 15 May 2013 13:57:09 -0400

Hailing from Oberkulm, Switzerland, Filomena Bieri is one of the international superstars competing in the Western Women's Canadian Football League. A member of the Lethbridge Steel, Bieri has a great enthusiasm for the game. With football highly uncommon among female athletes in her native Switzerland, the world of opportunity that comes with participating in the WWCFL is one that she is very proud of.

“Tackle football is not a common sport in Europe, let alone Switzerland. I feel honored to play full contact football in Canada, and I can even say I am part of the WWCFL (Westerns Women Canadian Football League). It is a whole new world and an incredible experience.”

“The things I knew about North American culture were based on movies and a little bit of traveling when I visited. So when I moved to Canada and went to Lethbridge Collegiate Institute (a school 10 times larger than the high school I went to in Switzerland), I felt like I was in a movie with all the hallway lockers and so many kids and the school system.”

Having immigrated to Canada, Bieri was introduced to a much larger world—that introduction brought with it exposure to tackle football. Despite the desire to attempt the sport, there were those who brought outdated views on her involvement in the sport.

“I saw the Rams practice after school sometimes, and I thought to myself, I should see if I can try it out. I only got a weird look and a 'You are a girl' response. That day, I decided that I will play football some day, and I will show them how girls can play tackle football. In 2010 my opportunity came when Lethbridge Steel as they became the third Women’s tackle football team in Alberta.”

That determination has made Bieri a highly valued member of the Steel. An emotional moment in her career came at the end of the 2012 Steel season. With the club having enjoyed an undefeated regular season, she was bestowed the honor of being named the Outstanding Defensive Player. On a team loaded with talent throughout, the recognition was a great point of pride.

“It meant the world to me; I almost broke out in tears. I worked very hard every practice and gave a 110% every game. Being named Outstanding Defensive Player made me feel appreciated and immensely honored by the team and the coaches!”

Bieri’s enthusiasm for the game was evident in the squad’s opening match in the 2013 season. Playing on the road against the expansion Okotoks Lady Outlawz, Bieri helped the Steel to an astounding 74-0 win.

“It was amazing! A sunny day, a great team, a greater game and even more fun. Lethbridge Steel had to show what we learned so far. The whole team did great on and off the field; we all bonded more every minute of the game and played with genuine heart.”

After the heartbreak of losing the 2012 WWCFL championship (to the undefeated Saskatoon Valkyries), Bieri is working towards another run. While the 74-0 opening day win brings with it great momentum, the team must be prepared to overcome any possible adversity down the road. When asked what it will take to win the championship in 2013, Bieri replied,

“A team built of steel that has heart as big as the moon and passion for the game as big as the sun and eagerness throughout the game even in hard times. We will have to work hard and be focused every second of the whole season. Know your positions and give 100% every practice and 110% every game.”

“All quotes obtained first hand unless otherwise indicated”

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Green Bay Packers Getting Those Fond Feelings for Brett Favre Once Again

Gabe Zaldivar — Wed, 15 May 2013 13:39:20 -0400

What's the statute of limitations on prodigal sons returning?

Fox Sports Wisconsin reports the Green Bay Packers are ready to accept legendary quarterback Brett Favre back into the fold in some capacity.

Mark Murphy, president and CEO of the team, stated as much to the website:

We want to have (Favre) back in the family. I thought he and Aaron (Rodgers) jointly presenting the Comeback Player of the Year Award was a great first step. We're hopeful to have (Favre) back in the fold and get him back involved in the organization soon.

There is no mention as to what kind of role Favre might have in the organization. The only thing that is certain is that the franchise he played 16 seasons for—winning a Super Bowl with in 1997—wants him back.

Of course, you cannot mention Favre and the Packers in the same story without reliving the soap opera that concluded a remarkable tenure.

Fox Sports Wisconsin's Paul Imig does just that with what we assume was limited eye rolling. As a reminder, Favre retired from the Packers back in 2008, only to think better of his decision and ask to come back to the team.

At that point, the Packers had already moved on with Aaron Rodgers, which led to a melodramatic back-and-forth with the Packers' front office and star quarterback, who very much wanted to play.

Favre would later play with the New York Jets and then the Minnesota Vikings, an act of defiance some fans may never forgive.

Of course, time heals all petty wounds, and as Murphy noted above, Favre seemed to be in great spirits as he reunited with Rodgers at the NFL Honors show earlier this year.

Imig reports the Packers' current star QB was on a local Wisconsin radio show back in February and mentioned that the time was right to bring back a man who meant so much to this organization.

"I thought it was good timing to just let the fans know, to let Brett know, let's move forward," Rodgers said. "Let's heal things up and move forward."

Murphy even mentioned last year that he could see retiring Favre's number at some point in the near future, an act that should seem far more obvious as the years go by.

It's now been two seasons since Favre wore a hated team's colors and more than five since he was a member of the Packers contingent.

It's about time to remember the good times he shared in Green Bay. It's about time for Favre to come on home.

Hit me up on Twitter for more NFL nonsense: Follow @gabezal

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20 Pairs of Athletes Who Truly Dislike Each Other

Nick Dimengo — Wed, 15 May 2013 09:27:35 -0400

While every athlete learns the importance of sportsmanship at an early age, as they get older and become famous at the professional level, that notion can be tossed out the window.

Over the years, we've seen some famous feuds in sports that make fans think, "Do these guys really hate each other that much?"

If you're asking that question in the first place, then the answer is almost always "yes." And to prove how much they really despise each other, we're giving you 20 prime examples of athletes who truly can't stand one another.

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Padres Minor-League Team Will Bring Back Awful Jerseys for Special Disco Night

Gabe Zaldivar — Tue, 14 May 2013 19:31:07 -0400

The Tucson Padres will be tough to ignore come June 8. In fact, you might want to cover your eyes from now until the end of the summer.

CBS Sports (h/t Yahoo! Sports) came upon some terrifying news. It seems the San Diego Padres' Class AAA affiliate will don some duds of days gone by next month.

And you have been warned.

Jimmy Sexton (pictured above), who Yahoo! Sports reminds us would later go on to become a sports agent, looks far too depressed for someone wearing every last color in the visible spectrum all at once.

No matter, because there will soon be more MLB hopefuls to once again wear these fabulous nightmares. It seems the Tucson Padres will be holding a "Disco Night" at Kino Stadium on June 8, which coincides with the players being forced to wear these unfortunate jerseys.

Both reports point to Arizona Daily Star's Patrick Finley's account of what transpired to doom these uniforms. You know, other than them being the worst sports jerseys in the history of such things. It all went down back in 1980 when the then-Astros affiliate Toros decided to wear them.

One day at the start of the Tucson Toros' 1980 season, the team's clubhouse manager ran into then-general manager Jack Donovan's office.

"It's not my fault!" he yelled. "I washed them the same way I washed every uniform, ever!"

In the warm water, the team's new jerseys - judged by history to be among the ugliest ever, as if the Raisin Bran sun threw up in diagonal stripes - had turned an awful color.

Well, more awful colors.

And so, as if fate were the only entity with good sense, the jerseys were wiped from the face of the earth because of a laundry debacle.

Now the Padres want to take another organization's obvious sartorial shortcomings and make it their own, at least for one night.

It makes sense, because if there is one team that would embrace muted brown and ugly mustard, it would be the Padres.

Don't worry, Tucson Padres players. You have a few weeks to be called up or sent down.

Hit me up on Twitter and we can make fun of these things together: Follow @gabezal

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Los Angeles Dodgers Pitcher Hyun-Jin Ryu Plays Catch with One Lucky Kid

Gabe Zaldivar — Tue, 14 May 2013 18:45:31 -0400

One great toss from the outfield stands and the Los Angeles Dodgers may have themselves the right-handed pitcher they need at the moment. At least, that's how the movie Rookie of the Year started.

Here is your weekly things-are-absolutely-beautiful-around-the-majors moment, which was spotted by It's Always Sunny in Detroit (h/t Hot Clicks).

There isn't a great deal of information surrounding the video, other than that is Hyun-Jin Ryu playing catch with a young fan who we assume goes by the moniker "Deuce." With an arm like that, he can no doubt turn the double play like an all-star.

My gut reaction to the video was one of intense jealousy. While I wouldn't change anything about my childhood, it would have been nice to head out to the ballpark and toss the ball around with a star pitcher like it was no big whoop.

Of course, such actions may have their downsides, at least for Ryu. Deuce is out for your job, Ryu.

This is just the latest show of good will Dodgers players have extended to their fans. The more famous and emotional moment came last week when star slugger Matt Kemp went to the stands to give a ball to a Dodger fan at AT&T Park.

Kemp ended up giving the fan—Joshua Jones, a young man with terminal cancer—the ball, his jersey and the cleats off his feet.

The Dodgers are mired in a considerably disappointing season, as little seems to be going right on the field. They are 16-22 and sit at the bottom of the NL West.

Not that anyone is complaining—even their fans who are satisfied with men willing to give back to their supporters with the slightest of gestures.

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