Bleacher Report - Articles by Ricky Chan

Interview Series: Interviews With The Icons Part 1 (HUMOR)

Ricky Chan — Mon, 04 May 2009 15:47:28 -0400

Insider:

This article is the first of many humor articles that I will be writing. These humor articles are fake interviews with famous sports icons and what they might say if they were asked the questions I had for them. Just remember that these are fake interviews that are for humor purposes only. I have never held an interview with any of the people that are going to be in this series. Enjoy.

The Interview:

Ricky: Okay, let’s get started. Over the years you’ve had some memorable moments, most of these dealing with success. How do you define success?

Terrell: My definition of success is “Be the best, nothing less.” If you’re not the best at what you do, why waste your time doing it?

Ricky: Wow, that’s really defined. So, you obviously think you’re the best at what you do.

Terrell: I don’t think, I know.

Ricky: Right. Anyway, when players coming from college get drafted they are usually compared to someone already in the NFL. In recent years nobody has been compared to you. What are your thoughts about this?

Terrell: Well, isn’t it pretty straight forward? Nobody can be compared to me. Nobody is more productive and no one and I mean no one is more valuable to their team as I am. No matter what team I I play for, I make a difference. I’m the go-to guy in every situation. My leadership skills are better than any coaches in the league. I am Terrell Owens, nobody less.

Ricky: You could start a great argument about that. Speaking of being valuable to any team you play for, tell me about your decision to sign with Buffalo.

Terrell: My decision was simple, go to a team with a lot of potential and turn that potential into kinetic [energy]. With players like Marshawn Lynch and Lee Evans, we have a great opportunity at competing for Superbowl XLIV. We have a great head coach, great staff, and awesome fans. What more could you ask for.

Ricky: With you, a lot. But I notice you mentioned you have a great head coach. Tell me about your years in Dallas and how you handled the coaching.

Terrell: [chuckles] Ummmm…. Let’s see, when Duane [Bill Parcells] left I felt like a prisoner that got his shackles removed. Now that doesn’t mean he controlled me, because he didn’t, it just means he was always calling me out. In meetings he’d always use me as a bad example, so I just stop going.

I am not a bad person. People [coaches] treat me like garbage, so I have to show them that I’m not a push over. So, I stop showing up at practices, besides I’m going on my 11th year in the NFL. What do I need to practice? Duane hated when he couldn’t tell me what to do, that’s why he went to be the Dolphins vice-president so he could actually boss people around and get credit for it.

Ricky: Andy Reid?

Terrell: That fat excuse for a coach? He couldn’t touch me. I hated it there in Philadelphia. It’s a dirty city with dirty people [Donovan McNabb] and dirty fans. Andy couldn’t coach an expensive handbag. He couldn’t even coach his own son on how to be a man and not get in trouble with the law.

Ricky: That’s real deep. My last topic something to do with the law. You came into to contact with it [the law] when you threaten to kill yourself. Tell me what made you think of doing such a thing?

Terrell: [Sighs] Sometimes I think I’m too good for the NFL…

Ricky: Just sometimes. Are you sure not all the time?

Terrell: Well, I wasn’t going to brag, but I am better than the NFL and the way it treats me doesn’t balance itself. I’m supposed to do my best, and it’s supposed to reward me. But it’s not doing that. People complain that I am a “media menace.” I like the camera, what else am I supposed to do while I dominate the NFL?

Seriously, the NFL gets boring sometimes. Catching a ball and scoring a touchdown is all but fun after 11 years of doing it, a lot. But If I were a wide receiver, it would probably be the same, boring. If I were running-back, it would probably be the same, boring. If I were a quarterback, it would probably be the same, boring. What I am trying to say is that you can put me at any position, and the job would be boring because I would dominate too much.

Ricky: Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think you have a Super Bowl ring. Most people say…

Terrell: Most people say what? The best have Super Bowls. This is why I don’t listen to people. Look at Barry Sanders. He is one of the best backs to carry a football, and he never won a Super Bowl. Dan Marino broke every passing record, and he never won a Super Bowl. If I never win a Superbowl, I wouldn’t care.

The only thing that matters is me knowing I did my best, and if that doesn’t include a Super Bowl, I know it was the team that ruined my chance [Eagles vs. Patriots]. The only thing I can do about that is break a couple records so I can say that I had a great career. I already have the most receptions in a game with 20.

If that doesn’t say anything to anybody, they’re just haters, and I have shades for haters [takes out sunglasses and puts them on his face]. They’re called my hater-shades. And they’re drinking just drinking hater-aid so they can find things to hate on and stay hydrated on that.

Dikembe Mutombo: For Old Times Sake

Ricky Chan — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:57:12 -0400

The Shot Blocker

We all know what a shot blocker is. He is the guy that has the instinct to anticipate when a ball is shot, dunked, and laid up. He will always be there, no matter how hard you try to avoid him. Even if you think you’re wide-open for any of those types of shots, somehow he has his hand on the ball.

When we think of shot blockers today, some of the names that come to mind may be Dwight Howard, Josh Smith, Lebron James, or whoever you think of. These guys have the ability to see every shot that is taken and get a hand or a finger on it.

Whenever a shot is blocked, whether it’s by, or against your favorite player, there is always that reaction of “Ohhh” or “dagg,” and maybe even “That’s a foul!” which ruins the moment.

But it’s those blocked shots that have no controversy around them that make the NBA so exciting to watch. America can watch those blocks over and over, even if it was your favorite player, but most of the time their looking for a foul. (Note: Insanity—doing the same thing multiple times looking for different results)…Makes you wonder.

Some of the best shot blockers that have played this game have already retired, except one. His name is not announced that often anymore, but if you said his name, everyone would know who his is. His name is unique and really long. He is the oldest player in the NBA at 42, and he is 7’2”. He comes off the bench for the Rockets, and is second on the career blocks list. He also ties for the largest shoe size in the NBA, 22.

Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo is a shot blocker. On Jan. 10, 2007, Mutombo recorded five blocks against the Lakers, which put him passed the great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on the career blocked shots lists. In his early years, as we all remember, he became known for his famous finger wag. His blocked shots were some of the greatest in history.

At 41, most guys are beginning to grab their backs and wouldn’t even think of trying to block someone’s shot. But Mutombo is a warrior and always has been. He criticized Yao Ming for the way he takes charges sometimes and not just getting up there and sending the shot into the stands.

At 42, Mutombo is near his end and has a guaranteed spot in the Hall of Fame. He is the definition of a shot blocker and is career can prove it. He is also the oldest player to ever grab 20 rebounds.

NFL: You Are 16 Going On 17

Ricky Chan — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 12:50:08 -0400

Issue

Roger Goodell wants longer seasons.

Thoughts

In August, the NFL is getting ready for September. Preseason games are special for those players who don't see a lot of playing time, or for the rookies to show themselves to the coach. Starters might play one or two series, except if you’re LaDainian Tomlinson, just to get back in the flow of the game.

But how important is the preseason? Most fans don't even tune in to see if their team won...even the hardcore ones. They like good football, and preseason football is sloppy, and boring. I mean, who wants to watch players that have no chance making the final roster?

So instead of 16 games, Roger wants 17, and it makes sense. It will result in a major improvement in quality because the NFL will be playing more games that actually matter and less that don't.

Players will be expected to earn more money for playing in more games. This could be either good or bad for some teams. Teams that have a higher salary cap will probably get better players than one's that don't... as if that doesn't happen already.

The vote that could change the season length could take place as early as May. Before it does though, Roger wants to explain his case more the NFL before the vote starts.

How a Conference Realignment Could Help the NBA

Ricky Chan — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 17:04:15 -0400

The Eastern conference of the NBA sucks. There's only four teams in the East over 40 wins to the West's eight. The West has nine teams over .500. The East has six. New Jersey still has a chance to make make the playoffs at 29-39. Phoenix is fighting for the last spot in the West with 37 wins.

So what do all those stats mean? Probably nothing to me and you, but to the players it means everything. The Southwest division has three Texas teams, and all of them are over 40 wins.

Then there's Memphis, who have no chance at all (17-50). It's unfair to O.J. Mayo and the Grizzlies that he has to face those teams. Plus, there barely in the South West! It's the same situation for Oklahoma.

So what I'm trying to say is break up the West. Take some of the teams that are in a strong division and send them to the East. Maybe the East would actually have a chance in the All-Star game.

If the NBA actually took this advice, what the switches look like. Well, that would be up to them but I think these switches would make sense:

Detroit and Milwaukee for Minnesota and Oklahoma City.

Dallas for Atlanta.

Trade Portland out of the out of the North West for Sacramento in the Pacific (Same Conference).

Trade Denver for Oklahoma.

With these transactions it could make the Conferences in the NBA more exciting and even. We would probably see better NBA Finals and playoffs.

But of course, it is very hard to change conferences. That would mean change in schedules, and I don't think the commissioner would be up for any of that hard work.

Lakers: Best NBA Franchise Ever

Ricky Chan — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 18:15:30 -0400

The now famous Los Angeles Lakers got it's official name in Minneapolis, Minnesota: "The Land of 10,000 Lakes."

In the Beginning

The Lakers began in 1946 when Ben Berger and Morris Chalfen bought the Detroit Gems for $15,000. The team relocated in the 1947 season to Minneapolis. They had already had a strong roster with Jim Pollard, Herm Schaefer, and George Mikan—who quickly became the most dominant player in the game.

The Lakers won the BAA Championship their first year in the league (1947). They then continued their dominance the following year by winning the Western Division.

In the 1951-1952 season, the Lakers won 40 games—finishing second in its division. They played the New York Knicks in the championship that year and won in game seven.

With a 48-22 record in the 1952-1953 season, they defeated the Knicks again for their second straight title. In the 1953-1954 season they won their third straight title over the Syracuse Nationals, winning in game seven.

The Players

The Lakers have had some of the best rosters in NBA history. In the 60s, their rosters featured Hall of Famers Jerry West, Elgin Baylor, and Gail Goodrich. In 1968, they acquired Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain in a trade with the Sixers.

In the 1974-1975 season, the Lakers traded for Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the leagues stand out big man at the time.

14 Hall of Famers have played for the Lakers. With Kobe and Shaq still playing, it will soon be 16. The Lakers hold records for having the most wins (2,905), the highest winning percentage (61.5%), the most NBA Finals appearances (29), and the fewest non-playoff seasons (5 tied with Spurs).

Magic Johnson, Shaq, Kobe, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Jerry West, Wilt Chamberlain, and many other Lakers have all received the MVP award.

Wilt Chamberlain: The NBA's Best Big Man Ever

Ricky Chan — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 16:00:26 -0400

Question: Who is the best big man ever?

Answer: Wilt Chamberlain

Reason: He was a monster.

In his first year, the 7'1" center, drafted by the Philadelphia Warriors, averaged 37.6 points, 27 rebounds, and scored 2,102 points in only 58 games, breaking the record held by Bob Pettit. Additionally, he was voted Most Valuable Player and Rookie of the Year, breaking eight NBA records.

In his second season, he averaged 38.4 points and 27.2 rebounds per game. He was so dominant that he still holds the record for most rebounds in a game, 55, and became the first player to grab 3,000 rebounds. He is still the only player to grab 2,000 rebounds in a season.

It would be disgusting if I told you that he scored 32 percent of his team's points and grabbed 30 percent of their rebounds that season. Wait...wait...he did.

The next season was even better. He averaged 50.4 points and a lower 25.7 rebounds per game. On Mar. 2 of this season he dropped 50 on the Knicks.

His 4,029 regular season points are the most scored by any player. The player to come closest to this mark was Michael Jordan, when he scored 3,041 in the '86-'87 season.

He holds the record for most points scored in an All-Star game with 42, also grabbing 24 rebounds that game.

In the '62-'63 season, the Warriors were sold and moved to San Francisco. Even with their secondary scorers gone, Paul Arizin retired and Tom Gola traded, Chamberlain once again displayed his monstrous game play by averaging 44.8 points and 24.3 rebounds per game.

In the '63-'64 season, accompanied by the promising Nate Thurmond, he had another great year, averaging 36.9 points and 22.3 rebounds per game.

In the '64-'65 season, Chamberlain was traded to the 76ers. In this season, he averaged 34.7 points and 22.9 boards per game.

Probably the most outstanding thing that Chamberlain did was post a triple-double, recording 22 points, 25 rebounds, and 25 assists.

You can say that the NBA was easier back-in-the-day, and it may be true. But I believe that he would have accomplished the same things today.

LeBron James Is Not One of Us: Basketball Humanoid

Ricky Chan — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 10:31:01 -0400

Let's get this out the way: LeBron James is not human.

The Breakdown

Most players dream of getting a triple-double. Some actually get one. For LeBron, he could get one with his eyes closed. Three straight triple-doubles have boosted James's MVP standing to No. 1.

His 34 points, 10 rebounds, and 13 assists earned him his first win in Phoenix. In his game against the Clippers, he had 32 points, 13 boards, and 11 assists. And the triple-double that started the streak: 14 points, 10 boards, and 12 assists.

LeBron James is a basketball player, but it’s his ability to be able to pass and collect boards while still being able to score that makes him one of the best. He is the youngest player to record a triple-double.

He is the youngest player to score 1,000 all the way up to 12,000 points. He is the youngest player to reach a lot of milestones, and probably the best one at doing it.

Even though Jason Kidd is on top of the charts for career triple-doubles (100+), LeBron is on his way to passing this milestone if he continues to play like he is now.

As you you watch his game and the way he continues to make his mark in the NBA people will soon realize that he is different from the people who watch him on TV. He is not one of us, a Human Being, but he is a Basketball Humanoid.

The definition of a Basketball Humanoid? LeBron James.

If you Know Lil' Wayne, then you know his song titled "Phone Home." When I hear the line, "We are not the same, I'm a Martian," I think of LeBron and how that song applies directly to him.

So to wrap this all up, LeBron James is not from this planet or this galaxy. He is a Basketball Humanoid, and his mission is to take over the NBA. He will make sure that no one will stop him.

One day, LeBron James will win a championship, and an NBA Title, and everyone has to admit it, even if you like it or not.

Quick Note: I am a die hard Kobe fan. Go Lakers!!!

NBA's Top Five Best Passers of the Century

Ricky Chan — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:58:12 -0400

5. LeBron James

Even though he is a scorer, his first thought is to pass. With all his triple-doubles, that's not hard to believe. LeBron James is an all-around player, and his share-the-ball mentality makes him one of the best.

4. Tony Parker

Tony Parker's ball handing and shooting skills are among the best in the game. When you combine the two with his passing skills, he is a threat to anybody. His 3,313 career assists prove that point.

3. Chris Paul

Chris Paul's brain is pass director. It beeps every time there's a pass opportunity. Whether it's throwing alley-oops or a simple pass and shoot, Paul can do it all; his 2,748 assists in only three years validates that statement.

2. Jason Kidd

Jason Kidd is no kid. No kidding. Even after 14 years of running up and down a wooden floor, he still has what it takes. One of the most respected guys in the game, his 10,000+ assists are the reason he is one of the best players ever.

1. Steve Nash

Steve Nash is incredible. He is the definition of a playmaker. He can see a passing lane in the dark with his eyes closed. With Nash, everyone is open.

But that's not the only thing he can do. He can also be a shooter. He is the best free throw shooter in the league. And his 90 percent career shooting from the line can back that up.

He has 7,338 career assists in 12 seasons and averages eight assists throughout every season in his career. No doubt he will be mentioned for the Hall of Fame.

Honorable Mentions

Allen Iverson

Mike Bibby

Dwayne Wade

The Best NBA Dunkers Of The Century

Ricky Chan — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 08:28:32 -0400

The Best Dunkers Of The Century

5. Amar'e Stoudemire

At 6-10, 249lbs this beast is so elusive, it's scary. 360's and Windmills are no problem. And his power is amazing. He can bring down a rim if he wants

4. J.R. Smith

Standing 6-6 and weighing 220, hanging from the rim, J.R. Smith. His around-the-back slam in the dunk contest two years ago was sick. His ability to leap and get over people is highly respected.

3. Dwayne Wade

6'4" and 216. This guy can do it all. Maybe one day he will be the first one to fly. And maybe one day he will win MVP. 2009?

2. Andre Iguodala

6'6" and 220 Andre Iguodala will soon be the best dunker in the league. He proves it every game with windmills and baseline dunks.

1. Vince Carter

Vince is sick. He is the definition of dunking. He dunked over someone in the Olympics, he has the best dunk dunk ever in a dunk contest.

Also 6'6" and 220 lbs., his versatility size and strength makes him the elite dunker of all time. He can do 360s and windmills and 360 windmills.

In-between-the-legs with a 360 whatever you want him to do he will do it. And I won't forget to mention putting his arm in the rim.

NBA MVPs: Ever Wonder?

Ricky Chan — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 15:59:07 -0500

Let's think.

Have you ever wondered if Kobe, LeBron, or Dwayne Wade weren't in the NBA right now who would be the players fighting for MVP?

If Kobe had never been born, if LeBron wasn't such a monster in high school, if Dwayne Wade was never good enough to be the Sportsman of the Year in '06, who would be the players that would be giving their all to win the award?

Would it Dwight Howard? Because 14 boards and almost three blocks a game is pretty good, right?

Chris Paul? Because 21 points, 11 assists is on fire.

How about Kevin Durant? With 26 points he is the fourth leading scorer in the NBA, even with his team out of the playoff picture.

Sometimes it's unfair to these players who put in work, and only make the NBA All-Pro team and the All-Star game. Wouldn't it be nice to know who else is capable of winning MVP? Ever wonder?

Money Talks: Dawkins Remind Eagles It's a Business (Can't Blame Him)

Ricky Chan — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 18:34:13 -0500

Money Talks: Dawkins Remind Eagles It's a Business (Can't Blame Him)

It's hard to blame Brian Dawkins for grabbing that one final big contract from Denver at age 35. The NFL is a business. When you know someone who is one of the beloved leaders of the team and wears their colors so proudly, it hard to believe they would leave for money.

You as a fan have that nagging feeling of betrayal. Could Dawkins have stayed for just a tiny bit less? After all Dawkins is clearly not a guy who plays for money. If ever tread a man on NFL fields of the new millennium who respected the game and played for its sake it's Brian Dawkins. He was all business, but never played it like it was.

A pro in every sense, Dawkins made each Eagles fan proud not only for his safety play, but in his ability to communicate with fans and help the community. Andy Reid says he values people like that.

But when it's time to re-up a DB who is turning 36 next season, the seven Pro Bowls don't matter, the goodwill ambassadorship doesn't matter. What matters is the mid-green office calender. And it says sayonara sucker.

The Eagles will not pay a player past his prime. You cannot argue with that business acumen. You should understand that if the Eagles preferred not to compete with the Broncos in offering Dawkins $7.2 million guaranteed, even tough the Eagles' owner is a hefty $45 million or so under the salary cap and is showing no signs of entering the tepid free-agent market.

So, you really can't blame Dawkins. If the Eagles didn't want him, why stay? He showing signs of aging and $7.2 million is a little bit overpaying for someone who's going to retire soon.

Stephan Marbury: Has He Found His Home?

Ricky Chan — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 12:31:53 -0500

Stephan Marbury: Has He Found His Home?

After coming off of an unbelievable 21.9 million dollar contract sitting on New York's bench, Starbury finally found some playing time. In his first game in about a year, he came off the bench, went 3-4, 8 points and helped the Celtics with a comeback win in the fourth.

This is impressive for someone who didn't play for as long as he did, and he seems happy. Is this his home? Who knows, maybe he tapped his heels three times.

With Ray Allen getting older could we see Starbury take his place when Ray retires? Or will Starbury and the Celtics have a needless disagreement and find himself back on the bench? Only time will tell.