Bleacher Report - Articles by Bobby Metzinger

Saint Louis' Chaifetz Arena Will Not Be Known As "The RACk"

Bobby Metzinger — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 04:39:27 -0400

St. Louis—Contrary to the opinions of a certain number of Saint Louis University basketball fans, the Chaifetz Arena will not be known as the "RACk" or any variation of the word "rack," according to University sources.

The "RACk" was a horrible nickname choice for SLU's newest on-campus addition, named in honor of alumnus Richard A. Chaifetz, and was quickly written off by the Athletic Department and the Board of Trustees.

I would enjoy people calling it Chaifetz Arena at Saint Louis University, like it is supposed to be called.

You want your arena to be dubbed a nickname by a visiting team member who complains about the noise, or a member of the national media who is impressed by the student turnout, not some hoosier on billikens.com.

An Open Letter To The Athletic Department at Saint Louis University

Bobby Metzinger — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 06:44:34 -0400

To Whom It May Concern:

I was right.

The Athletic Department of Saint Louis University couldn't schedule a doctor's appointment, and lo and behold, the Grand Opening of the Centene Court at Chaifetz Arena at Saint Louis University of the United States of Father Lawrence Biondi of the Society of Jesus will be against the University of Missouri-Not-in-Columbia-but-the-local-campus-in-St. Louis-Tritons.

Local station CW11 won't even broadcast this game, so so much for the grandiose dreams of the student body and alumni who were wishing for ESPN GameDay coverage.

You won't see Dickie V body surfing among the twenty students and the 90 year-old trombone-playing priest who has been in the SLU Band longer than head coach Rick Majerus has been alive.

You won't be watching Erin Andrews being schmoozed by members of the kicked-off-campus Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity, who have sworn their vengeance against Saint Louis University, in this life or the next.

So much for Digger Phelps rocking a Billiken Blue tie and matching highlighter, while watching Hubert Davis struggle to pronounce "Chaifetz."

So much for finding Reece Davis hung over a Humphrey's barstool at 3 A.M. while the bartenders scramble to get their digital pictures of him uploaded and sent to the editors at Deadspin.

We aren't going to win many games this year, Joe Billiken. In fact, the odds of us losing because of overlooking the Tritons (whatever the hell that is) are greater than preparing to host an Atlantic Coast Conference school in Boston College, a team that has to face both Duke and North Carolina twice this season.

Wouldn't that be a better scenario? Opening up a $100 million facility against a brother Jesuit school and not a subsidiary campus of the University of Missouri system?

SLU continues to amaze me. I have a sore neck from shaking my head at the 2008-2009 basketball schedule. It is a joke and I hope UMSL waxes our Centene Court with us. Thanks for the great schedule, SLU A.D. Chris May.

Love,

Metz

NCAA: George Mason Campus Clears Following Loss to Fighting Irish

Bobby Metzinger — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 05:25:39 -0400

After dropping their NCAA first round match-up with the Fightin’ Irish of the University of Notre Dame at the Pepsi Center in Denver, CO, the campus of George Mason University disappeared late Thursday night.

Many believe that the Notre Dame mascot had something to do with it.

During his pre-game pep talk to his squad, Mason head coach Jim Larranaga asked his club to make the Leprechaun—the Fightin' Irish mascot—disappear.

However it was Mason’s offense, defense, and then campus that disappeared on Thursday night, after a 68-50 thumping by Mike Brey’s Irish.

"It’s just gone," said area resident James Swift, who recently moved to the area from St. Louis.

"I was on my evening walk, and noticed a huge void in the landscape. That void is normally filled by the campus of George Mason University. It’s not that hard to miss an entire public university."

Swift, whose alma mater, St. Louis, played Notre Dame in the 2004 NIT, does not remember his program’s head coach asking for the Irish mascot to disappear.

Unfortunately, the Billikens met the same fate as Mason—except their campus has yet to disappear into thin air.

"Perhaps the Irish mob caught wind of this conspiracy to make the Leprechaun disappear, and they enlisted the help of McLaughlin, the Irish Wizard," Swift said. "I mean, they obviously didn’t burn the place down…it just vanished...like Mason’s dreams of another Final Four appearance," he said.

George Mason was unavailable (obviously) for comment.