Bleacher Report - Articles by Khalid Siddiqui

Pakistan Wins ICC World T20: Revenge of the Disbelieved

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 07:02:16 -0400

Before I start out, let me just say that a World Cup tournament just ended and there is absolutely nothing on B/R to denote that a World Cup final was even played. Cricket Community, please wake up!

So I decided to take matters into my own hands, and relay the journey of a national team of misfits towards becoming a national team of world-beaters.

As a nation, Pakistan has had to endure much more than its fair share of woes on the geo-political and economic fronts in recent times. Pakistan's sports teams and players have also not been doing too well, and the nation as a whole has continued to endure a miserable last couple of years.

Sri Lanka, Pakistan's opponent in the World T20 final, faced similar circumstances. Sri Lanka has also had to go through a demoralizing civil war, the reverberations of which are bound to be felt for years to come.

However, on to the cricket itself. The match did have several twists and turns, especially in the first half, but thankfully for Pakistani fans, didn't develop into the nail-biter that has come to be associated with this unpredictable team of talents.

Right from the first over of the Sri Lankan innings (SL had won the toss and chose to bat), it seemed that Pakistan was definitely a team of destiny, driven by the desire to bring smiles to a nation in the throes of an abyss.

The planning was immaculate (is this seriously a Pakistan cricket team we're talking about?), and Pakistan relied more on its collective cricket brain rather than leaving things to be decided by the x-factor of flair.

Tilikeratne Dilshan was rattled from ball-one, and seemed to be looking for an excuse to get out. 17-year old Mohammed Aamir bowled his most perfect over in the 2009 World T20, and it turned out to be a wicket-maiden.

Dilshan, the tournament's top scorer and improviser extraordinaire, was left with no answer to the pinpoint accuracy of Aamir's back-of-a-length deliveries. He tamely succumbed to a catch at short fine leg (0-1).

In what seemed a slightly panicky move, Sri Lanka promoted pinch-hitter Jehan Mubarak to No. 3, and he could not last till the end of even the second over.

In an effort to unsettle the bowler by shimmying around the crease, he only managed to sky an easy chance to the cover fielder off a resurgent Abdul Razzaq (2-2). Clearly a case of trying to be oversmart when the occasion called for a bit of consolidation.

Jayasuriya, the evergreen soon-to-be-40 opening batsman, tried to take matters into his own hands but fell to an inside edge caroming into his stumps (23-3). The delight on the face of the felled Abdul Razzaq told the story. Pakistan were tightening their grip on the match each over.

And then in the last over before the end of the batting powerplay, Razzaq effectively sealed the epitaph on the grave of Sri Lanka's middle order. Mahela Jayawerdene the dismissed batsman this time, giving catching practice to Misbah-ul-Haq in the slips (32-4).

Pakistan's ever-reliable spin twins, Shahid Afridi and Saeed Ajmal, dried up the runs. In the 12th over, captain Younus Khan turned to his pace spearhead Umar Gul. Gul picked up Chamara Silva with a simple catch to mid-wicket.

Then Shahid Afridi, in his last over, got the reward he richly deserved by ending Isuru Udana's tortured stay at the crease to leave Sri Lanka reeling at 70-6.

Kumar Sangakarra then showed his nerves of steel, and gave partner Angelo Matthews the confidence to take Sri Lanka to a competitive total. At the end of 20 overs, Sangakarra was still standing with 64 not out and Matthews had put up a handy 30+ in quick-time with the Sri Lankans taking 59 runs from their last five overs.

The final score was 138-6, which, if presented to Younus Khan as a target before the match commenced, would probably have been accepted without any remorse.

Sri Lanka would have backed themselves to make inroads into the Pakistan batting line-up with arguably the most potent bowling attack in the tournament. However, Pakistan's opening pair of Kamran Akmal and Shahzaib Hassan clearly had other ideas.

Kamran continued his rich vein of form, scoring 37 quick-fire runs to take Pakistan to 48-0 at the end of the seventh over. He was stumped off Sanath Jayasuriya after trying an injudicious dance down the pitch.

Shahzaib followed soon after, caught off Muralitharan, but not before he had punched a couple of boundaries off Sri Lanka's spin-magician Ajantha Mendis.

Then came a partnership that to this fan was very much reminiscent of Imran Khan and Javed Miandad's match-winning partnership in the 1992 ODI World Cup final. Shoaib Malik came out to join Shahid Afridi.

The pair have, according to the media, a bit of a history between them (just like Imran and Miandad), but with the hopes and prayers of a nation hanging on their bats, they put all that behind them to construct a masterfully planned run-chase.

What can one say about Shahid Afridi? This tournament saw him mature into the batsman Pakistan has wanted him to be for nearly seven or eight frustrating years now. He played the semi-final and final as if the World Cup could only be won by his bat.

He played like a man possessed; possessed, it seems, by the influence of the likes of Kevin Pietersen and Jacques Kallis put together. His first boundary didn't come till he faced his 20th delivery. And it was definitely worth the wait because he took the attack to Muralitharan with a huge six over mid-wicket.

Pakistan seemed to be falling behind in the run-chase when 26 runs were needed off 18 balls. However, Afridi and Malik seemed to be safe in the knowledge that one of the last three overs was to be bowled by one of the non-M&Ms (i.e. those not named Murali, Mendis, Malinga, or Matthews).

Sure enough, Sangakarra handed the ball to young left-arm seamer Isuru Udana (a gamble in my mind, because he had the services of the experienced Jayasuria available), who, to his credit had, bowled a decent enough first spell with a mixture of slower balls.

Afridi took this as a signal to free his arms and Pakistan ended the 18th over needing just 7 runs to win from 12 balls. The game was over in only four more deliveries, and Pakistan had delivered a clinical, workman-like, professional performance on the biggest stage of the World T20.

Can these adjectives even be associated with a team as mercurial as Pakistan, who had needed to beat the Netherlands by a big-enough margin just to make the Super-8 stage?

This team, which had turned even the most ardent fans into unbelievers, had come full circle, much like Imran Khan's cornered tigers in 1992. I remember very clearly in 1992 telling my father that Pakistan still had a mathematical chance of making the World Cup semi finals, while the adults around me had given up. Oh, the innocence of being a child sports fan.

This time, I myself had lost faith in this team's ability to turn things around, and seeing that I am an adult myself now, it really makes me melancholic at becoming more of a realist. However, Pakistan's cricket team provided the turnaround when everyone least expected it.

To say that Pakistan was lucky to stumble into the semi-finals may not be that far from the truth. After all, they lost two of their five matches in reaching the semis, and played the Netherlands and Ireland along the way.

However, now having beaten the only two unbeaten teams (South Africa in the semis and Sri Lanka in the final) in the tournament, there can be no doubts about Pakistan's rightful claim to hoist the World T20 trophy.

What eluded the team by just five runs in Johannesburg two years ago was found with clinical precision in a well-planned and ruthless manner at the home of cricket (Lord's) on the longest day (June 21) of the year in 2009.

Younus Khan immediately announced his retirement from T20 internationals, and this, I believe, leaves the way for Shahid Afridi to take over the reins of captaincy at T20 level. His new-found maturity (if permanent) is likely to revitalize a career taken for dead before the festival of cricket began in England this summer.

For now, this victory gives an unforeseen bundle of cheer and good tidings to a nation disparaged by an internal war and an economy on life support.

Childhood Innocence of Love for Sports Disappears with Age

Khalid Siddiqui — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 08:08:47 -0400

As I sat at home last night watching the second coming of Real Madrid's Galacticos saga unfold, I was suddenly overcome with a melancholic sense of disillusionment. You've seen mottos such as "For the Love of the Game" and "Fairplay Awards" being doled out, but you begin to wonder whether that really is the case.

As the level of sophistication in every walk of life has increased with time, the same is now true of sports as well. As I've grown up, I've come to terms with the fact that what they say about "wanting to do in life what you love the most" is mostly a dream never realized.

The handful of people who end up making a career out of professional sports and then get a chance to represent their country at some stage is probably the luckiest bunch of people on this planet.

However, even their innocence tends to get corrupted with each new zero that gets added to the size of their contract. Egos inflate, heads grow, and the brain becomes numbed to the pleasures of playing for the sake of the game, and also to the sensitivities of the fans.

Life mostly doesn't allow you the choices you want to make, hence the adage that life isn't fair. You find, to your chagrin, that instead of making a choice between pursuing your tennis dream or your cricket dream, you are being forced to choose between becoming an engineer or a doctor, or in today's glitzy world of Wall Street, a financial analyst.

Life is very much a struggle to climb Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which in this day and age has its pinnacle topped with a mound of wealth. A career as a sportsman is not so much different.

Imagine you're looking in on a child's growth through his toddler years, through to his teens, and eventually when he settles down into his life's routine, having chosen a career he never would have thought of in his younger years.

- He's three years old. His father brings home a bat and ball set. He is introduced to the wonderful concept of a complex array of ways to connect bat and ball and achieve the desired result that makes his father beam with pride.

- He's five years old. He is obsessed with the world of sports. Give him a soccer ball, a cricket bat, or even a tennis racquet, and he'll be with Maradona, Imran Khan, or Boris Becker in his head. But even if you give him a balled-up piece of paper, a discarded piece of wood, or even a ball but no racquet, he'll still be with these guys in his head.

- He's eight years old. Grades start becoming an important aspect of life, but he always has time for his first love, i.e. sports. The highlight of his day is an evening of cricket or soccer with his dad in the front yard. He begins the countdown to 6pm each day so he can see his father walk in through the door, returning from a tiring day at the office, yet still willing to oblige his son.

- He's 11 years old. The amount of homework he's getting from school is really piling up. He forgoes his afternoon nap to complete his homework each day. He is then free for his evening of sporting activity with his neighborhood friends, because unless homework is complete, his mom won't let him step out of the house.

- He's 14 years old. He packs a mean tennis forehand and begins blowing away people at his high school. He also possesses great all-around skills in cricket and is usually the first to be picked for any cricket match in the neighborhood. He starts getting picked for games that will be viewed by professional cricketers. But this is where the first cracks in his ambitions of becoming the next sports star to do his country proud begin to appear.

- He's 15 years old. He's studying most of the time, as the course material has suddenly multiplied over the years. He's finding limited time for his sporting activity, and his friends start inviting him less and less for their evening sojourn of cricket. He's beginning to realize that a career in sports is not written in his future. He wants to fight back, rebel, but his parents help him through this difficult phase by providing other distractions.

- He's 18 years old. He's now in college. He's reliving his sports-playing days, and has picked up his tennis racquet once again. He starts lightly, competing among friends (some of them who've been high school champions), and finds that after a few weeks he's mastered them completely. He's looking for ways to convince his parents of the merits of playing on the varsity team, but succumbs to the studying associated with a college education while trying to keep hold of his scholarship.

- He's 22 years old. He's officially graduated, but not able to choose the career he had wanted since childhood. He's sacrificed his dreams at the altar of a career as a financial analyst. He has no time for even watching sports, much less playing.

- He's 25 years old. Married to his college sweetheart. Living the life of a Wall Streeter at a time when Wall Street is the street that matters most. The day flies by without him even getting a chance to catch a glimpse of anything to do with sports.

- He's 27 years old. Blessed with a son, his life begins to revolve around this new arrival's whims completely. He starts looking for his favorite sports team's clothing and accessories for his son, because his pride and joy would be unconfined at the sight of his son in his favorite team's kit.

- He's 29 years old. He comes home from work. His body keeps insisting he is tired, but his mind and heart conquer the lethargy in order to see his son (who has been waiting for him to return all day) happy while kicking a soccer ball around. His eyes threaten to water up as he recalls his father in the exact same position seemingly eons ago. Where have all the carefree days gone, he thinks to himself.

- He's 30 years old. He sees his son kicking around a soccer ball with above-average skill for his age, but feels wistful and at odds with himself on whether to allow his son's zest for sports to bloom into a passion, then see the wind blown out of his sails when he realizes that his first love is not his destiny.

He knows that all that has happened in his life is for the best, because he is still good at what he does for a living. He still loves sports with as much passion and takes time out to watch his favorite teams and players competing on television. His love for sports has grown into something shorn of the innocence of his childhood days.

It is literally a case of, "if you love something, let it go, and if it comes back to you it was meant to be yours, and if it doesn't, you'll always have some of the most wonderful memories to cherish." Better yet, in this case, it's a given that one gets to relive those memories with his very own child as well.

I would like to dedicate this write-up to my parents, who have helped me through every step of my life and still continue to do so. There are dreams, where you always win, and then there's the real world, where your parents are there to support you to no end.

Wheel? NO! Internet? NO! World's Greatest Invention Is the Ball

Khalid Siddiqui — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 08:37:55 -0400

- ball [bawl]

1. a spherical or approximately spherical body or shape; sphere.

2. a round or roundish body, of various sizes and materials, either hollow or solid, for use in games.

No, the author of this article is not delusional; he is merely a sports freak extraordinaire. While those who don't give a hoot about sports (how many are there, like 12?) will strongly disagree, the one invention which beats out all others for me is simply the round object that we all love to toss, hit, throw (etc.) around.

Sure you can argue for the merits of the other proclaimed "greatest inventions," i.e. the wheel and the Internet. But let's see how this spherical bundle of joy known as the ball beats out even those two for top honors.

Imagine Michael Jordan trying to shoot a three wheelie!

National Basket-Wheel Association would not have had anywhere near as many followers as the NBA we now know, would it? In any case, the wheel is over-rated as it is. So it helps you get around from one place to the other. But if you're traveling longer distances or over water, what do you do? You use an airplane, helicopter, or a boat, or even a hoverboard if you're Marty McFly. So the wheel is not the only means of transportation...unless you still live in the 19th century.

Now in the world of sports, there are no two ways about it. If you don't have a game ball, there is no game. Plain and simple. So in order to achieve the reason (playing sports) for its (ball) invention, its presence is always required. You can't have an imaginary ball or play with a square. But if you want to be transported anywhere in this day and age, the wheel is not the only option available to you.

And the global recession didn't even dent the likes of Nike or Adidas. But boy. Are those automobile guys feeling the crunch or what? The NBA Finals, UEFA Champions League, etc. still continue to thrive. Heck, Real Madrid just forked out nearly US$90 million for a guy named Kaka who can kick around a...ball.

In effect, if you're in any field that has something to do with a ball and sports, there is no recession unless the world around you is going to war. But then, everybody's screwed, no matter the field or industry.

Sure there's no ball-mail, but the health reason wins out hands down

Have you ever heard anyone saying that playing sports is bad for your health? In fact, children are encouraged to step outdoors from an early age in order to inculcate a healthy lifestyle. It is this very same Internet addiction that is causing many of the younger generation's health-related problems—obesity and lethargy to name a few.

If you love watching a particular sport, then there's every reason to love playing it as well. It's beside the point if you play it like a loser, but hey, you still play and do your bit to contribute to a healthy lifestyle.

There won't be any calories burning while you're stuck in front of the computer screen. In fact, you'll probably be putting on a few ounces here or there, as you chug down that bottle of Coke to wash down the cheese-dipped Doritos. At least when you do that while watching the Super Bowl, there's a chance you'll be revved up enough to burn off a few of those calories with a game of touch football in your yard with your buddies. Why? You really want to imitate your favorite receiver's last minute catch or your favorite QB's last minute drive.

On to more serious things: Origins of sport's holy grail—the ball

Although the history of the ball's origins is somewhat murky, ancient Egypt is thought to be the earliest source of any sort of information. Various artifacts from Egyptian tombs, as old as 2500 BCE, provide evidence that football-like games existed in that region and time period. For better bouncing, balls were also made out of catgut (animal sinew) wound into a sphere and wrapped in leather or deerskin. Little is known about the Egyptian ball games. Historians believe that during fertility rites in ancient Egypt, balls of seeds wrapped in colorful cloth were booted across the fields.

Then around 2000 BCE, the Greeks developed a kicking/throwing game called Episkyros. The photo for this article from the National Museum of Archeology in Athens shows a Greek athlete balancing a ball on his thigh, supposedly demonstrating a training technique to the boy. This very same image is nowadays featured on the European Cup trophy. The Greek game of Episkyros was later adopted by the Romans, who renamed and transformed it into Harpastum.

Harpastum (meaning "the small ball game") remained popular for 700-800 years and was played with a relatively smaller and harder ball. Harpastum was played by 5-12 players on a rectangular field marked by boundary lines and split by a center line. Each team had to keep the ball in their own half for as long as they could, while their opponents tried to steal it and get it over to their own side.

An important rule of Harpastum stated that only the player with the ball could be tackled. That limitation caused the development of complex passing combinations. The feet were scarcely used in the game of Harpastum, but a striking resemblance to rugby can be noted. Emperor Julius Caesar (who is speculated to have played himself) used Harpastum to maintain the physical fitness of his soldiers and keep them battle ready.

It is also believed that the Romans took Harpastum to the British Isles at the time of their expansion. By the time of their arrival, less-sophisticated kicking games were already present on the British Isles.

The Mayan connection

Some researchers believe that the ball game was invented in the times of the early Mayan civilization. Ball courts were a part of almost every Mayan city. The courts were designed very much like today's soccer fields, with raised stone hoops placed at each end. The Mayans played a game which was very much a cross between soccer and basketball.

Joyous reasons galore

Here are several reasons why the ball is the most important invention in the history of the world: football, soccer, basketball, baseball, cricket, tennis, rugby, squash, table tennis, field hockey, handball, bowling, polo, water polo, golf (just to name a few), or even the simple fun of children enjoying a beach ball or toddlers playing a simple game of catch.

I for one know this. If I didn't have a car (even if I did, I'd have to fork out for gas) or even if I didn't have the Internet (which would deprive me of B/R, but oh well), and I had any kind of game ball to pass the time, I would not go bored for one minute.

Material taken from Think Quest and Expert Football

Photo from National Museum of Archaeology in Athens

Is Rafael Nadal's "Uncle Toni" Becoming a Problem?

Khalid Siddiqui — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 00:00:21 -0400

"Hey jou fan!!!! What jour problem? 'Ow dare jou cheer for anywon except my Rafa? Jou stupid French don't know greatness when jou see eet. Jos becoz Rafa eez from Spain..."

(And the rant continues.)

Seriously, Toni Nadal has emerged as a completely sore loser. Not even the Djokovic family can lay claim to alienating tennis fans as much as Toni Nadal has done with the venting of his "true feelings" on radio Cadena Ser.

In one stroke of his public relations genius, Toni Nadal has just made sure that as long as he remains sitting in Rafael Nadal's box, the French Open crowd will continue to jeer Rafa's coach.

So what exactly is going on in the Nadal camp? Does Toni Nadal think that Rafa is omnipotent on clay and that he can't lose to a "lesser" opponent?

And why shouldn't an audience become a partisan one when it feels that the underdog actually has a chance of creating a huge shock wave in the world of tennis? It is, after all, the nature of sport that the majority of the crowd will mostly favor the underdog, especially if he is playing out of this world.

Following Rafa's humble post-match press conference, Toni Nadal's unnecessary rant has undone all the praise Rafa had earned from the media and fans for being so gracious in defeat.

The more I see of Uncle Toni when the cameras focus on him during Rafa's matches, I am (for some sordid reason) reminded of one of those "cruel" taskmasters who drive their trainees to do so much that the trainee's body and mind seem to lock up in rebellion.

So the question is begging to be asked: Is Toni Nadal now becoming a liability for Rafa? Do Rafa and Uncle Toni need a bit of time apart from each other so that they can reflect in isolation on the ups and downs of their relationship?

The fans understand that he has been Rafa's coach since Rafa was a toddler, but to strive for omnipotence is markedly different from striving for perfection in a sport. Every sportsman is mortal (yes, even the likes of Michael Jordan, Carl Lewis, Joe Montana, Roger Federer, Pete Sampras, etc., have been proven so).

Most sports fans will always long for an upset, especially if a sportsman's winning streak keeps getting longer and longer. It's natural for a sports fan to demand an upset once in a while and to root for the underdog as a neutral.

Toni Nadal has no right to question who the fans cheer for. He has come across as a sore loser and a public relations disaster, in my humble opinion. Of course, he can always gloss it over and say that the comments were taken out of context, but using the word "stupid" on the air usually represents only one context.

Sure, Toni Nadal may be a great coach, but a great spokesperson he is not. It may be better for him and Rafa to keep the media appearances limited to Rafa only, in order to preserve goodwill for the Nadal camp in future tournaments.

Would Uncle Toni have a problem if the fans at the US Open cheered wildly for someone like Mardy Fish or Sam Querrey against Rafa? Will he take a cheap shot at the barren trophy cabinet of American tennis players by saying that no American has won a Grand Slam since 2003?

He did something similar in his radio interview by saying that the French haven't had a great tennis player since Yannick Noah and are just jealous of Spanish success on their turf.

If there is something going on behind the scenes that is compelling Rafa's body and mind to rebel against Uncle Toni's coaching methods, it may be worth the effort to undertake a few degrees of separation.

After all, having a blood relative for a coach isn't always ideal because they don't tend to feel it if they may be getting out of line at times. Family honor becomes a sacred, interfering detail. We've seen already how Richard Williams used to create public relations disasters for the Williams sisters. However, now his media presence has been reduced by a great degree.

To use the "ethnic bias" card against an audience who is there for the love of the sport is uncalled for. Toni Nadal, at the very least, should tender an apology to the fans of Roland Garros for calling them "stupid" and "jealous of Spanish success."

Roger Federer's Ultimate Double-Cross (Satire)

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 07:57:24 -0400

Given the unthinkable events that have occurred at Roland Garros over the weekend, it would be wise to take a step back and ponder a bit: Who is the greatest beneficiary of all the mayhem in the men's draw?

The answer stares right at you, doesn't it?

Roger Federer, the cool-headed Swiss star, is now by far the front-runner for lifting his first French Open crown.

On Saturday, Novak Djokovic bid adieu to Paris. On Sunday, it was the King of Clay's turn to show that he is, after all, not invincible on the red dirt.

However, after some secret investigation, the B/R spoof team once again uncovered the truth behind Roger Federer's best chance of winning RG.

It has been learned from reliable sources in the Swedish camp that the appointment of Magnus Norman as Robin Soderling's coach was just an eyewash to throw people off the trail. He was really a front man for the cameras.

Soderling's real coach, then? Well, it wasn't one, but two: a certain Mr. Federer and a certain Mr. Djokovic. Wasn't it all too evident from the way he was serving and blasting forehand after forehand, complemented with a devastating two-handed backhand?

Ever since his embarrassing 6-1, 6-0 loss to Nadal this clay season, Soderling had been looking for a way to wipe away the shame. In steps Federer, who is pursuing the only Grand Slam to elude him.

He is joined as a coaching partner by Djokovic, who thinks, "if I can't beat Nadal despite all I've done, then I might as well train someone else to do it."

So, by all means, it was a meeting of three men who were joined by the common goal of seeing Rafa's pink back ushered back to Spain.

The deal was that Soderling would eliminate Nadal, and Federer and Djokovic would play out the semifinal in their half of the draw. This would simply be billed as the unofficial final.

But Federer's need to lift this Grand Slam trophy led him to plan the ultimate double-cross. While Djokovic was teaching Soderling how to paint the lines with a two-handed backhand, Federer was very discreetly coaching Philipp Kohlschreiber on how to tame the Serb.

When Djokovic was informed of this double-cross, he simply smiled and said, "I think it's OK. After all, there is a certain grass-court tournament coming up very soon, and unthinkable upsets can happen there as well."

It certainly seems that Djokovic has something planned for Wimbledon, but he is playing his cards pretty close to the chest. However, the B/R spoof team did manage to catch a glimpse of Djokovic having a chat with a certain Russian who is on his farewell tour in the corner of their hotel restaurant.

While attempting to capture the meeting on our B/R-cam, our photographer returned with a fat lip and the Head racquet logo imprinted on his face.

And the B/R-cam? Well, let's just say that the warranty is now null and void.

Spare a Thought for "Iron-Mike" Tyson and His Family

Khalid Siddiqui — Wed, 27 May 2009 03:49:07 -0400

No matter how much you hate the guy; no matter how much you despise his personality; it is time to pay your condolences to former boxing phenom and former world heavyweight champion Mike Tyson and his grieving family.

Mike Tyson's four-year old daughter, Exodus Tyson, has passed away after a tragic treadmill accident at the family's home in Phoenix. The little girl was discovered by her elder brother with her neck stuck in a cable of the treadmill exercise machine.

The doctors pronounced the toddler dead yesterday (Tuesday, May 26) afternoon. Iron-Mike himself was in Las Vegas at the time of the accident, but flew back as soon as possible upon hearing the news from his family.

Being a father of a toddler myself, I do not even want to begin to fathom the magnitude of this personal tragedy for the family. If at all possible, I would like to propose that B/R pass their condolences to Mike and his family in this tough time.

The family has requested for privacy from the media spotlight in their grief. Comments about Iron-Mike and whether you like or dislike him are secondary. It's time to share some of the family's grief at this terrible accident.

How the Nuggets Can Bridge the Experience Gap with the Lakers

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 25 May 2009 05:19:54 -0400

As I watched Game 3 of the Lakers vs. Nuggets series on Saturday, a couple of minutes into the fourth quarter I began to get that sinking feeling that the Nuggets would self-destruct even after dominating for long stretches. Why, you ask? Well, the Nuggets never turned their domination into a big enough lead to sit on comfortably.

It seemed as if the Lakers had a strategy; conserve energy for the fourth quarter spurt, and while doing so, don't fall too far behind. This is playoff basketball; it's the conference finals. The Nuggets haven't been here in a long, long, time, since 1985 to be exact.

The Lakers, well, they're veterans as far as playoffs go. This is a team that has a history, a couple of recent dynasties, to back up its No. 1 seeding in the West.

A few points that I want to highlight here, where I feel that the Nuggets could improve going into Game 4 today.

Using the Shot Clock Efficiently

Firstly, rushing into ill-advised quick long jumpers more often than not means that you'll be playing more defense. A couple of quick three-pointers can definitely pile pressure on the opposition, but when you miss, that's the problem.

I can recall at least four times when Chauncey Billups ran up the floor, with teammates trailing, and just launched a three. Not only that, he missed them. For one, this wrongfoots your teammates, who are making their way up the floor having just played defense, and are looking forward to at least 20 seconds of offense.

Second, by giving the ball back to the opposition, you run up the risk of players getting into foul trouble. The more defense you have to play, the higher the chances of the foul-count going up.

It's hard enough defending Kobe Bryant, but to have to do it more often is an invitation to your own demise. When Carmelo Anthony was on the floor along with Nene, the Nuggets were a totally different team in the first half.

In Game 4 the Nuggets should look to try and use the shot clock more efficiently. Work the ball around. Points in the paint is an area the Nuggets should dominate. If it weren't for Chris Andersen, the Nuggets may have fallen behind earlier. His above-average output is something that can't be expected every game.

Billups, being the leader of this team, and the only player who has progressed to a Conference Finals series before, needs to control his rushes of blood to the head and lead by example. If the Nuggets are leading by six, it doesn't mean they should go for broke and hope to be up by 12 in two possessions.

These are the Lakers, who have been the best team in the West, and patience will be needed to break them down. The Nuggets faltered in their three-point shooting and this came back to hurt them.

Get Carmelo or Billups to Guard Kobe

Kobe Bryant is not your usual guard. He will have a height advantage on many a guard. He needs to be shadowed, possibly double-teamed in order for the Lakers to look to other options. The first quarter saw Kobe barely getting a look-in, but then the Lakers began to work around the Nuggets defense, which also resulted in foul trouble for Denver.

Dahntay Jones was very lucky not to be penalized any more than he was for his two-handed push on Kobe Bryant. That is a very dangerous ploy, especially since Kobe was in the air at the time.

Fully Utilize Every Second That Kobe Spends on the Bench

Despite Kobe's absence in the third quarter for a prolonged period, the Nuggets only ended up with a seven-point lead (including the technical called on J.R. Smith). When Kobe Bryant is on the bench, the Lakers' offense usually stalls. That is the time to make the high percentage plays.

Push the ball in close to the hoop instead of relying on jumpers. This could draw fouls from the Lakers' big men, and also result in trips to the foul line, which is one department Denver has done well in. When Anthony and Nene were in foul trouble, none of the Lakers had more than three fouls.

There's a Difference Between Aggression and Stupidity

George Karl has been here before and knows the heartbreak of losing to potential champions. Billups has already won an NBA Championship. When things heat up on the floor, it's time for the cooler heads, i.e. Karl and Billups, to calm things down.

Several times, I felt that Karl let the game linger on for longer than was advisable even as the Lakers were building up momentum. A quick time-out or two to calm down players' nerves needs to be up for consideration.

Silly technical fouls need to be avoided. Sure, you consider yourself worthy of a place in the Western finals, but games in playoffs series are won by the team with the cool heads.

Make the Altitude Count

If the Nuggets lose today, the series would pretty much be over, because winning three straight (two of those in LA) would be next to impossible. Teams won't be intimidated by the altitude, unless the Nuggets make it count.

Again, this involves using the shot clock efficiently, and giving the Lakers the run-around in defense. Kobe Bryant got more than his fair share of a rest on Saturday, and this allowed him to come back in the fourth quarter to take over proceedings.

Lakers Looking Like Favorites Now

The Denver Nuggets were expected to make this a tough series, and they have done that so far. However, even being a Nuggets fan, realistically it seems as if the Lakers might just scrape through this series in six or seven games.

Foremost for the Nuggets is to put the negatives of the Game 3 loss behind them. They need to ensure that they keep their cool throughout the whole game, and not just when they're leading and the crowd is going wild. They need to show that they are resilient enough to come back even while trailing by a few points.

Otherwise, this will be a long and hard lesson for the Nuggets in the difference between championship basketball and just plain basketball.

It's Official: Federer's Path to Nadal Potentially Blocked by Djokovic

Khalid Siddiqui — Fri, 22 May 2009 07:18:12 -0400

The French Open draw is out, and as many fans had been hoping, it allows both Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic the chance to set up a title showdown with Rafael Nadal.

Rafael Nadal has been drawn to meet Andy Murray in the semifinals, while Roger Federer has been drawn to meet Novak Djokovic in the semis, should all of them get that far.

Nadal will commence his bid for a fifth straight French Open title against a qualifier in the first round, but can potentially meet former world No. 1 Lleyton Hewitt in the third round, and could also run into compatriot David Ferrer in the fourth round.

All this could be followed by a quarterfinal meeting with another countryman, Fernando Verdasco.

As for Roger Federer, his bid for an elusive Roland Garros title starts out against Alberto Martin of Spain, and could see him meet Andy Roddick in the quarterfinals, before the mouth-watering prospect of a showdown with Djokovic.

Andy Murray faces a tricky first round match against former world No. 15, Juan Ignacio Chela. His quarterfinal opponent could potentially be French No. 7 Gilles Simon. However, Simon has not done too well on clay this season.

Djokovic faces a first round clash with Nicolas Lapentti while a tricky third round clash against former French Open champion Juan Carlos Ferrero could also take place. Djokovic would have to tackle No. 5 Juan Martin Del Potro at the quarterfinal stage, provided they both progress that far, before his looming showdown with Federer.

It has panned out as an interesting draw, in fact, the draw that every fan wanted. It gives both Federer and Djokovic the chance to prove superiority over the other on clay before that all-important final against Nadal.

Is It Time To Reconsider Seedings At the Grand Slams?

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 18 May 2009 07:54:52 -0400

2001 was the year. Wimbledon was the tournament. It was the first time that a Grand Slam tournament had decided to introduce 32 seeded players in the singles competition. And lo and behold, the rest of the Slams followed suit.

First, a bit of background as to why all the hue and cry was created, compelling Grand Slam tournament organizers to switch to seeding 32 players instead of the usual 16 previously.

Of the four Grand Slam tournaments, the Australian, French, and US Open used to follow the ATP computer-based rankings to seed players. Therefore, if a single-surface specialist like Thomas Muster is world No. 1, he would be seeded No. 1 for those three Slams as well.

The Wimbledon organizers, however, continued to use their own seeding mechanism, whereby players' ability on grass was more important compared to their actual rankings. Case in point, 2001.

Pete Sampras seeded No. 1, despite being ranked No. 5; Pat Rafter seeded No. 3, despite being ranked No. 10; and Juan Carlos Ferrero seeded No. 8, despite being ranked No. 4, to name a few.

Clay-courters revolt

During the time frame under discussion in the above paragraph, players like Gustavo Kuerten (world No. 1) and Alex Corretja (French Open runner-up) had thrown down the gauntlet by subtly boycotting the other Slams (citing as excuses one injury or the other), especially Wimbledon.

Their gripe was that despite being ranked so high, they may still end up competing with someone ranked in the top 20 in the first or second round of a Grand Slam, making it tougher for them to progress.

So, the workable solution devised by Wimbledon and the other Slams was to name 32 seeds so that even the clay-court specialists got seeded, and would avoid meeting any other top-32 player 'til the third round. This 'protection' was met with cynicism initially, but has now become the norm.

Let me just say that I'm glad that Wimbledon realized the futility of seeding Kuerten at No. 1, because he would barely last beyond the second round. But for the French Open to continually seed Pete Sampras as No. 1 was a similar exercise in futility.

Is it an easier ride for the top stars now than in the 1990s?

Consider the 1990s, when top players like Stefan Edberg, Boris Becker, Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi, and Pat Rafter could potentially face players ranked 17-32 in the earlier rounds. Top players are usually considered to be more vulnerable to upsets in the earlier rounds as they try to adapt to the conditions.

Therefore, it does seem as if the going is a bit easier for the current generation of top-ranked tennis players as far as Grand Slams go. In order to meet someone ranked 32 or above, a top-ranked player would be happily placed in the third round of a Slam.

This situation has two drawbacks. Firstly, it creates several meaningless and cumbersome matchups in the earlier rounds where chances of upsets are not that great.

And one has to wait for the infrequent occurrence of a potentially tricky opponent falling outside the top 32 in rankings (e.g. Safin vs. Djokovic in Wimbledon 2008), thus creating higher probability of an upset.

But that is not always the case, and we can be sure that players like Tomas Berdych, Stanislas Wawrinka, and Marat Safin will be avoided by the top stars in the first two rounds. Why? Because they're in that ranking bracket that goes from 17 to 32.

Secondly, it allows the top seeds time to settle into their strides, knowing that they can get away with a couple of bad performances and still make it to the third round. Some complacency does set in, but then it also allows the top players to find their feet in the early part of the tournament.

I would imagine things would not be so straight-forward if players like Nadal, Federer, Djokovic, and Murray had the prospects of being paired with the likes of Robredo, Stepanek, Andreev, or Berdych in the earlier rounds. You can very well imagine that everyone will bring their A-games to the court right from the first round.

Top-ranked players are better all-court players now

Tennis nowadays is definitely played at a different level as compared to the 1990s, where players have more of a chance to be good on all surfaces with similar, baseline-based games.

Therefore, the argument that surface-specialists had in the early part of the decade may not hold that much water anymore.

You wouldn't normally see the likes of Nadal or Djokovic trying to serve-and-volley their way out of trouble. They would much rather prefer to settle the argument from behind the baseline with a scorching winner, or try to draw an unforced error from the opponent.

This has allowed the top players to become better all-surface players as compared to the times of Thomas Muster, Gustavo Kuerten, Pete Sampras, and Goran Ivanisevic.

The main argument is usually between clay and grass, and we've seen that Grand Slam semifinalists these days continue to include at least three of the top four players, no matter the surface.

Reverting back to 16 could add some unpredictability and flair

Surprising first and second-round matchups did tend to excite tennis fans in the 1990s. Therefore, I believe it is time once again to think about reverting back to the past practice of seeding 16 players per Grand Slam.

This would add some much-needed spice to the earlier rounds, and would allow for players to be ready to produce their best from the first round. Agreed that the surprising and tricky matchups may not always be thrown up, but it would make for at least one or two tricky early round matchups per Slam.

Ideally, if a player is ranked in the top ten, he should be able to see off someone ranked 17-32 with ease, so he should have no qualms about facing such an opponent in rounds one or two, either.

And along the way, if a player's form in the pre-Slam Masters Series tournaments is used as an added statistic for considering seedings, it would allow for a truer picture to emerge despite the much better all-surface ability of top-ranked players these days.

Just imagine, players like Andy Roddick (ranked sixth) could be seeded higher than someone like Juan Martin Del Potro (ranked fifth) at Wimbledon, but the roles could well be reversed on clay.

And players like Stanislas Wawrinka and Tommy Robredo could be seeded in the top 16 at Roland Garros despite being ranked at 18 and 17, respectively, taking the places of someone like 16th-ranked James Blake and 13th-ranked Marin Cilic.

Sports and the Unimportant: A Football Fourth Official's Gripe

Khalid Siddiqui — Fri, 15 May 2009 06:19:51 -0400

Dear FIFA,

I feel this letter has been a long time coming, and it comes to you from one of your forgotten employees. When I was hired to act as "fourth official," it sounded like a bit of a prestigious title. However, the job description provided to me at the time of hiring has absolutely nothing to do with the hell I have to endure on the sidelines.

Oh, the indignity I have to suffer during each match. I just wish you knew the kind of pressure I'm always under. But how would you know? I'm probably not even visible to you during match broadcasts, and I'm sure your plush boardroom boxes have a view of the playing field only.

The only time you probably see me is when the teams are substituting players or when I have to hold up the board signaling some injury time to be played. I'm sure it must seem like the easiest job in the world. I'm sure you could do it with your eyes closed, right?

Wrong!

Here's what I think. I think the job title should be changed to "verbal abuse absorber" to better reflect the actual job description. There are other names that spring to mind as well, "hell's angel" being one of these.

Firstly, have you ever heard the kind of language I have to endure while standing there between two managers? It would make even the creators of South Park blush.

I mean, why should I be the one to take the verbal abuse for some mistake committed by the other three officials who are actually running the game?

Is it my fault that Ronaldo and Drogba dive so much that their reputation ensures they win lesser penalty appeals? Is it my fault that the linesman is blind not to see the ball crossing the goal line? Is it really my fault that the referee running the show is blind enough not to see a blatant handball in the penalty area?

Secondly, I'm always made to look like the joker when teams can't decide which players they're substituting for the other.

If they want to replace No. 16 with No. 21, why in the world is the assistant manager constantly screaming in my ear that they need to replace No. 14 with No. 23?

Then I'm the one who has to scramble in quick-time to search for the right buttons so that playing time is not lost.

Thirdly, again to elude to the inattentiveness of the match referee, when the whole world can see a head-butt on the biggest stage of the game, i.e. the World Cup final in 2006. The match referee has the temerity to ask a "fourth official" what went on and whether anyone should be sent off?

Am I supposed to be following the game on the pitch as well now? It's hard enough trying to collect player autographs to sell and supplement my income. I'm sure you've never wondered how I survive on the pittance you call my salary.

The purpose of this letter is to inform you of the tumultuous times I see on the footballing sidelines. I hope to persuade you to reconsider my compensation package and also allow me to have a chat with the managers of the football teams.

A catchier job title that would command more respect from managers, such as "executive referee," could be a place to start. After all, it would be difficult for football managers to drill me with their anger, wrath, and spit, if I was some kind of executive, right?

Give me an important decision to make as well. All the other three match officials have something important to contribute to the game by making foul, throw-in, corner, and goal-kick calls.

I've got it! I should be the one who decides when to show the yellow or red cards to the players, and even send managers away from the players' benches into the stands. That way, managers will know that I can sway the game either way, and managers and players alike will show me some respect at least.

I hope you will give some consideration to my suggestions. Thank you for your time.

Yours Sincerely,

Fourth Official

PS: Can I also get something to munch on while I bide my time on the sidelines?

Roger Federer Retires: Hangs Up Racquet for Soccer Ball (Satire)

Khalid Siddiqui — Tue, 12 May 2009 05:46:21 -0400

B/R has learned through its spoof reporting team that one-time world's best tennis player, Roger Federer has decided to quit the sport that made him a household name. Yes folks, Mr. Federer has decided that the time is right to try something new.

When this spoof reporter initially tried to contact Mr. Federer in Madrid, it became evident that he was not present at the Masters 1000 event, as Robin Soderling was given a bye into the third round of the Madrid Masters.

Upon further investigation, this reporter reached his home phone in Dubai, a message playing on the voice mail indicated that, "You have reached the home of Michael Jordan, oops, I mean Roger Federer. I can currently be found at St. Jakob Park, the home of FC Basel." Obviously a message left in indecent haste.

Intrigued by this strange message, this reporter ran straight to his Community Leader's office and begged for a ticket to travel to Basel, Switzerland, in the hope of landing a major reporting coup.

After a few phone calls and bulletin board posts back and forth between LJS and Zander, it transpired that B/R would be unable to fund the cost of the ticket to Basel.

Feeling that this could be the scoop of a lifetime, this reporter decided to take leave from his day job, sell his meager stock portfolio, and board a plane to Basel by purchasing a one-way ticket.

Upon landing at Basel airport, this reporter was taken aback to find the airport more or less deserted. On the cab ride to St. Jakob Park, this reporter queried the driver as to why Basel seems like such a ghost town. He saw the B/R tag, the notebook, and the camera and correctly surmised that this was a news reporter he had just picked up.

He proceeded to glare in the rearview mirror and grunted something to the effect of lousy reporters living in ostrich holes. As we neared St. Jakob Park, we were halted in our tracks by a swarm of people in blue & red. Many carried banners with the words, "Welcome Home Roger."

After paying the cabbie, this reporter used his B/R card to great effect and stepped towards the press box. Along the way, it was learned that FC Basel were to unveil their latest signing. The B/R reporter's stomach did a somersault, and reality dawned.

From the players' tunnel emerged the G.O.A.T. Knight, Roger Federer wearing a no. 88 FC Basel jersey. After showing that he had absolutely no ability to bounce the soccer ball on his knee and onto his head, he proceeded to pick up a tennis racquet and a tennis ball and pose for the cameras.

Here are a few soundbytes from the Federer press conference at St. Jakob Park:

"I believe I have achieved all that I could in the game of tennis, and have decided to pursue other sporting interests. I firmly believe that by joining FC Basel, I will be contributing to the club's success."

When asked about whether he had been disheartened by the sudden emergence of Rafael Nadal's dominating tennis, he quipped, "Can't you guys get over Rafa? This is about me coming back home to join my childhood favorite, FC Basel."

Mr. Federer gave a security guard the eye, and the unfortunate reporter was hurriedly escorted out of the conference room, never to be heard from again.

After a calming cool drink of water, when asked whether he had been influenced by another G.O.A.T., Michael Jordan's decision in a similar vein to quit the NBA to join MLB, Mr. Federer looked unimpressed.

"This decision has been taken by just Mirka and myself. I may look to rejoin the ATP Tour three or four years down the road, but my first priority here is to help FC Basel to Calendar Slam, I mean Roland Garros, #@!** . . . I mean, Champions League glory."

Clearly flustered, Mr. Federer said that he just has time for one last question before his first practice session with his teammates. This B/R reporter took advantage and threw the question that was on everyone's mind. Why the no. 88 on the jersey?

Mr. Federer gave a wry smile, and responded, "The no. 16 was already taken, but 8 + 8 is also 16. This is the number of Grand Slams and Masters Series titles each that I would have won by now if it weren't for Mr. Tankyouverymuch."

Mr. Federer walked off to the practice facility, while this reporter caught up to FC Basel head coach, Christian Gross. When asked what he thought of the signing, he seemed elated.

"We are looking to take direct entry into the Champions League group stages, and are looking to improve on our second place finish in the League in 2009. You are going to see a totally transformed FC Basel team. We're really glad we got to Roger before Wenger could nab him to play central defense for Arsenal."

When this reporter stepped into the FC Basel team store to garner any sort of memento for this historic occasion, he was flustered to see 'Federer 88' jerseys selling like hot cakes. The queue at the counter was spilling over outside the store, with every buyer holding onto a Federer 88 jersey. Federer-mania had certainly come to town.

Suddenly, there was a loud shriek and a fierce commotion ensued near the practice field, and this reporter managed to sneak in a peek and observe that Mr. Federer was lying on the ground, face between his hands, leaking tears.

Thrusting a mike straight into FC Basel Fitness Trainer Marco Walker's face, the reporter asked if Mr. Federer had been injured in any way. Mr. Walker somberly replied, "Our worst nightmare has come true. Rafael Nadal has quit the ATP Tour as well and has just announced that he is joining Real Madrid. There go our Champions League dreams down the drain."

Scrolling down his Blackberry, this reporter finds an e-mail from Uncle Toni to the world's press. It has an attached statement from Rafael Nadal, "Don't worry Roger, jou are steel dee bess. I just fulfeel my dream by playing futbol for de Real Madrid. I'm sure jou steel break record by doing league and cup dobble. I see jou een Champion's League. Vamos Madrid!"

The Top 20 Ways Arsenal Can Win a Trophy

Khalid Siddiqui — Fri, 08 May 2009 07:36:14 -0400

In the last four years, Arsene Wenger has completely revamped his squad, and the team has since been trophy-less in all competitions. Wenger's squad showed promise last season when it led the Premier League table for most of the season only to falter towards the end. However, this season has been a step backwards.

In the tradition of David Letterman's Top Ten lists, here is a humorous look at Arsenal's plight. I apologize to all die-hard Arsenal fans in advance for the satirical list below, but also want to mention that I am one of those die-hard fans myself. So read on, and enjoy.

20. Start signing five-year olds. This will allow the players (due to their smaller height) to pass between opposing defenders' legs in order to get close to goal.

19. Close down the roads leading to the Emirates Stadium. Visiting teams will be late while trying to find alternate routes, and forfeit the match.

18. Transfer the team to one of the weaker leagues. That way, Arsenal can do the league and cup double every season. Who needs the Champions League anyway?

17. Convince the FA and UEFA that passes completed should count for something, and have a rule instated whereby 200 passes count for one goal. That way, they never have to put the ball in the back of the net, but just pass their opponents to death.

16. Rather than wasting money on salaries of inflated egos, invest in scientific research. Surely someone can build a football shoe that can put the ball in the back of the net automatically.

15. Have players wear masks of the world's best footballers. Not only will this intimidate the lesser teams, but will also confuse those players whose masks have been made. That's one way to stop Cristiano since he'll go on musing about how good he looks.

14. Change the name of Emirates Stadium to Highbury. At least trophies were being won when that was the stadium's name.

13. If you can't send Adebayor to "Beyonce" (re: his comments about AC Milan), then sign the real Beyonce as a member of the squad. She might inspire him to stay fit and coax him into scoring goals.

12. Get the Arsenal ladies team to play in place of the men. Now that's a team that's used to winning trophies and not getting beaten that often.

11. Create two squads, Arsenal Injured XI and Arsenal Playing XI. Sign players to those squads accordingly, so that good players who are healthy can be available to play.

10. Call Tony Adams out of retirement since Wenger is unwilling to spend on a proven centre-back. He'll do a better job in central defense as compared to the current lot anyway.

9. Find a Victoria Beckham equivalent for every star footballer on the opposing Big Three. Perfect way to wreck a club football career. Plus, Wenger's famous recruitment abilities can come in handy as well.

8. Convince the FA and UEFA to place age limits on players. You can only play in the Premiership and Champions League if every player in your team is under 23. It would be just like the Football event in the Olympics.

7. Introduce all the star footballers of the Big Three to Manny Ramirez of the LA Dodgers in MLB. Suspensions galore!

6. Have someone smuggle in itching powder into the opposing team's dressing room and apply some to the insides of each footballer's kit. There can only be one winner then.

5. Change the club's name to Barcelona. This will not only intimidate opponents to a degree, but will also be a logical change as most of the Arsenal players are really Barcelona players-in-waiting.

4. There needs to be a first step, therefore, start off with ambitions on the Carling Cup. Playing a full-strength team in the Carling Cup can add to the trophy cabinet.

3. Hypnotize the opposing team's defenders into believing that they have to score against their own keepers, just like in the training ground. Would do wonders for goal difference as well.

2. Create a team to compete in some other sport. Maybe that team will have better luck winning a trophy.

And the No. 1 way for Arsenal to get a trophy is...(drumroll please)

1. I think they'll simply need to have the trophies stolen one by one since that seems to be the only way the club will get its hands on one right now, even if it is for a little while until they get caught.

Ranking Tennis' One-Slam Wonders of the Last Two Decades

Khalid Siddiqui — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 07:21:49 -0400

Men's Tennis has seen its fair share of eras of domination and 'windows of opportunity' in the last two decades. Here I have attempted to do something unique, or at least that's what I believe. There have been quite a few players in the last two decades who have managed to win only one Grand Slam singles title each. This is an attempt to rank each of those players as to who was the best tennis player among those one-slam wonders. For the avid tennis fan who would point straight away to the absence of Andy Roddick and Novak Djokovic from this list, I would say that I haven't included them because they are still in with a fair chance of making it two at the very least. This is a tribute to the one-slam wonders who have already retired, or are close to retiring, and have no chance whatsoever of winning another Grand Slam Singles title. So, you might ask, what has been taken into account while considering this list? I've tried to take in a number of factors. The highest weightage has been assigned to extent of all-surface ability. Some of the players in this list are mainly single-surface experts, so the players who have been relatively successful on all playing surfaces get more points. Other considerations are: 1) number of times runners-up in Grand Slams, 2) number of ATP Masters Series titles, 3) lifting of the season-ending tennis championships, and 4) overall number of titles on the ATP Tour. So read on, and relive the nostalgia of some of the most talented and entertaining characters to pass through the ATP Tour in the last two decades.

Begin Slideshow

Bayern Show Immaturity in Firing Klinsmann

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 08:06:08 -0400

Ex-Bayern Munich coach Jurgen Klinsmann is probably the loneliest man in football today.

Yes, you read that right. "Ex".

After much fanfare at the time of his hiring, Bayern Munich have shown him the door without even letting him complete one full season as manager of the club. Some egos are never satiated.

One of the greatest servants of German football, Klinsmann had been unable to replicate with Bayern the type of form shown by the German national team during the 2006 FIFA World Cup. So is it safe to say that he is a victim of his own past success for having set expectations too high at a club which was looking to fall by the wayside in the Bundesliga?

Hardly, I say. This was his first year as manager of any club, let alone the biggest club in German football. It's not easy seeing a team through three or four different competitions during the course of a 10-month season, and Bayern did not even let him have one full year.

This sort of thing highlights exactly what is wrong with football having egotists such as the Bayern management hierarchy. Bayern's officials and board have been savagely critical of every mis-step of the team during the season. Is it because expectations placed on the first-year manager's shoulders were too high?

It has to be noted that Klinsmann inherited most of the players from the club's previous coaching team. If superstars like Luca Toni and Franck Ribery continue to underperform on the big stage against the big teams, can all the blame be laid at the feet of the manager?

Is Miroslav Klose's injury at a critical time in the season the manager's fault? That other teams have improved tremendously, has not even been considered by the Bayern hierarchy before arriving at this hasty decision.

Let's look at Klinsmann's record as manager. He had the club in third place with a goal difference second only to first-place Wolfsburg, and only three points off the pace in the Bundesliga.

He got the worst draw possible in the Champions League quarterfinals, being drawn against Barcelona. Okay, so the 4-0 drubbing at the Camp Nou was an aberration, but Bayern were just coming off a 12-1 demolition of the second most successful team in the Portuguese League.

If Bayern had drawn any other team in the quarterfinals, their chances of making the Champions League semifinals would have been quite good, to say the least. A loss to the best team in Europe means that one of most knowledgeable football managers has to be given the sack?

If football players like Ribery are causing dressing-room unrest by constantly marketing themselves to other clubs, can the manager control it? It's touch-and-go, but a player will always do what he wants to, and these things to tend to affect performance on the pitch.

Remember the first few seasons when Sir Alex Ferguson took over the helm of affairs at Manchester United? A second place finish in the Premier League in 1987-88 was followed by an eleventh place finish in the same league in the very next season. Was Sir Alex unceremoniously fired?

We all know what happened in the years that followed, and which club is now the most successful in the last two decades of English football. Arsene Wenger would definitely be out of a job, and wandering in the wilderness of European football trying to convert some up-and-coming team into a genuine contender.

Why do boardroom officials want to win now and always? Whatever happened to building a team, and allowing the manager time to settle in? Klinsmann wasn't even allowed to evaluate the shortcomings of the team during the summer break.

The top brass at Bayern didn't even deem him worthy enough of at least one chance to redeem his managerial capabilities. Who knows what signings he might have made during the summer, and which players he may have let go? What would he and his players have learned from their mistakes to come back stronger in the next season?

Bayern's board seems to have shown indecent haste and immaturity in letting go of one of the best managers possibly available to them.

First you pursue a man with such fanfare and adulation that he is forced to leave his quiet life in the USA to relocate himself in Germany. Then you drop him like a can of sardines.

Bayern's boardroom officials need to realize that the era of domination of one club doesn't last forever. If they want to build another dynasty in the years ahead, it will have to be done with the utmost patience. Otherwise, no top-class manager would want to come and manage the team, while most of the time trying to manage the whims and whinges of the board as well.

And what of Mr. Klinsmann? Will he retreat to sunny California once again to pass away his years in footballing obscurity or will he be up to the task in seeking another challenge? Is the US national team waiting to welcome his managerial genius? Or should Roman Abramovich be alerted to this little news byte, as maybe there has been divine intervention in making his search for Guus Hiddink's replacement all the more easy?

Only time will tell, but as the saying goes, "what goes around, comes around."

Bayern may have dug themselves further into their ostrich-hole without realizing that times are changing, and so are management styles. If they didn't approve of Klinsmann's techniques, of which they already knew, why hire him in the first place?

Will London be the next stop for Klinsmann? All I know is that someone as talented and dedicated as him deserved at least one full year, in fact a full two years to be able to see whether he can right whatever is wrong with FC Bayern Munich.

Marrying a Man Means Marrying Sports As Well

Khalid Siddiqui — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 02:06:42 -0400

For better, or for worse, in sickness, and in health (with ESPN, and with Bleacher Report)...

These vows may never be taken at any wedding, or maybe they just might, hence the parentheses. Regardless, it goes without saying that, in this day and age, the way to a man's heart lies not through his stomach, nor through your in-laws, but through the way you can cope with his beloved world of sports.

In fact, "cope" is too mild a word. You literally have to "marry" the sports as well, because it's part of the package—buy one, get one free, whether you like it or not.

Ladies have to realize that when they "say yes" to their man, it means saying yes to weekdays with SportsCenter, weekends with the NFL, and, more often than not, trips to the stadium to catch the city's MLB franchise and frequent visits to NBA, NHL, and College Football games.

I'm sure I've left out so many other sporting occasions. Who can forget playoff time, when it's just the man, his friends, and the TV remote?

In my part of the world, the craziness also spills over to the weekends of Barclays Premier League action, weeknights of UEFA Champions League Football, and at least one major tennis tournament every month (and that's excluding the Grand Slams).

So, where exactly is the time slot that's reserved for the ladies? Is it even humanly possible to fit in time for your wife (or girlfriend)? And what about if your son is just as much of a sports freak as yourself? It's great fun for you and him, but what about the missus?

It seems to me that the time that one will be giving his wife during the week, month, or even the year is too short to keep a relationship going for a lifetime. So what is the only real solution?

I'm liable to get eyes rolling and knives sharpening, but ladies, the only real solution is falling in love with your man's first love. You already know he has eyes for you, but you have to realize you are not the only true love in his life.

Ladies tend to expect their man to enjoy the regular shopping trips, or even the odd chick flick at the cinema. However, when it comes to sports, many of the same ladies end up being too obstinate to take the plunge.

It's not as if we're asking you to walk into a blazing inferno, or even requesting that you eat something that doesn't suit your palate. It's plain and simple: If the ladies pay even 20 percent of the amount of attention to sports that their men do, it would make the relationship so much smoother, and you'd literally have the guy eating out of your hands (as many of the ladies would like).

What makes a successful relationship? Now I'm not an expert on this by any stretch of the imagination, but the experts in this field tend to suggest that more than anything it's communication—the ability to have a discussion, not only about life's responsibilities, but also about the things that you like/dislike, things that entertain you, things that excite you.

And is there anything in the world that excites a rational man more than his love for sports? I think the answer will definitely be a resounding "no" in many cases.

A man comes home after a hard day at the office, and there's nothing he would love more than to jump into a reclining La-Z-Boy, flip through the variety of sports viewing options available, and settle in with his favorite drink in hand to enjoy the contest, or even his favorite news program, SportsCenter.

So ladies, as natural as it is for you to spread the gossip on the latest fashion trends, or carefully analyze the choices before deeming them worthy enough of a place in your wardrobe, it is just as natural for a man to analyze the game as critically and get engulfed in the heat of the competition.

This doesn't mean he doesn't love you, or loves you any less than his favorite team or sports star. Just try having a discussion with him about sports (go on, ask him what he thought of that last-minute goal that won the game for his team), and you'll see that he'll open up a portion of his heart to you which you never even knew existed.

It's much more than his inner child or his alter ego. It's simply the man himself, his intellect laid bare in front of you completely. Then you get an idea of the completeness of your man, his emotions, his thoughts, and his priorities in life.

The missing piece of the puzzle in relationships can more often than not be located where the communication void exists. And for most couples in this world, it generally tends to emanate from the man's first true love—the wide world of sports.

So when standing at the altar, even though it may not be a part of the wedding vows, it would be more than prudent to consider that when you marry a man, you have to marry sports as well, or at the barest of bare minimums, make your peace with his love for it. He'll love you all the more for it.

What Wenger and Benitez Can Take Away From The Mid-Week Madness

Khalid Siddiqui — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 09:01:17 -0400

The photograph says it all, doesn't it?

"Four goals in one game? Four out of four shots on goal converted? I believe even less than you do that this is happening!"

Perhaps for the neutral viewer (and I don't think Michel Platini qualifies as that), this match was some of the best of what the Premier League has to offer. For both sets of fans, however, it was a bittersweet cornucopia of euphoria and frustration.

I believe the frantic pace of the game yesterday was extremely pleasing for the eye, especially what we saw in the last half hour of the game. However, being an Arsenal fan, I wasn't comfortable until the last second of injury time, and even then it looked as if Liverpool might eke out a fifth goal to spoil Arshavin's maiden Anfield appearance.

There are some very important things for the managers of both the clubs (Arsene Wenger and Rafa Benitez) to take away from the 4-4 tie in mid-week.

Points for Wenger to Consider

Arsene Wenger, despite his obstinance in offensive beliefs, needs to realize the need for at least two more centre backs in the summer now more than ever. You can't have only one back-up CB in your squad below the age of 30 (that's Djourou).

Gallas is not likely to be the same come next year, and Silvestre is too slow to handle the speedy strikers. At least one acquisition is needed, and if Senderos doesn't plan on coming back, then two purchases definitely need to be made.

Who could it be? Maybe someone like Per Mertesacker, the German international, or maybe Matthew Upson could return.

How many aerial balls did Torres and Drogba win in the last two games against Arsenal? Too many for the comfort of Arsenal's nail-biting fans.

You don't need to introduce a match-practice-lacking Bacary Sagna to the team right after he's had a bout with a virus. Emmanuel Eboue is a more than able player at right-back. It was Sagna's lack of match practice and lack of confidence for the big occasion in his first match back that resulted in a wayward clearance which led to Liverpool's first goal.
Cesc Fabregas is ineffective in the hole behind the striker because he doens't have the speed. Samir Nasri is much more effective in that role, given his ball control and ability to dodge defenders.
Arshavin is deadly on the counter. Playing him in tandem with Walcott could result in the desired end-product (i.e., getting a goal) more often on the counter-attack.

I understand that there were defensive concerns yesterday, hence no Walcott to start with. But this is something to keep in mind for future reference.

From next season on, if (God-forbid) Fabregas gets injured, make Arshavin captain. He is the spirit of this team right now, and probably the most influential player on the pitch for Arsenal when he plays.
Have Kieran Gibbs bulk up a bit. He has the speed, but is too susceptible to even the faintest of tackles from onrushing forwards.
Fabianski is very good at anticipating strikers' movements, though he has foolish rushes of blood at times due to his young age. Keep him; he is a more than able deputy with great reflexes.

Points for Benitez to Consider

It's good that Benitez's team has learned to play well offensively without Steven Gerrard. Benayoun is perfect in the hole behind the striker with his pace and ability to make swift cuts across defenders.
Jamie Carragher needs some serious support at the back, as the rest of Liverpool's defense is in shambles. Thinking of attack, not trying to control the possession, is in the nature of the RB and LB.
Benitez needs to learn to give respect and praise to the opposing team when it is due. His current attitude has resulted in the media and fan pressure building up on his team to deliver.

As they say, perception is more real than reality, so even though he may not be mean-spirited or arrogant by nature, he needs to develop some more humility.

Liverpool are likely to end this season trophy-less despite being in pole position for much of the season. Benitez might need to look at the depth of his squad, because the quality is not there if one or two key players get injured.

Arsenal had four first-teamers missing and still put four goals past his team. Benitez only had Gerrard missing.

Overall, I believe that even Arsene Wenger will not be satisfied with the point earned because this was a game his team would have won if not for the defensive frailties. It's been a mixed season for Arsenal, with a dull goal-less patch for the offense sandwiched between two phases of struggles at defending.

His defenders have shown that they are not mentally strong enough if they are hurried by the strikers into releasing the ball.

A draw, however, seems like a fair result in hindsight. The season may yet take many unexpected twists and turns.

A Fan's Letter of Appreciation to Novak Djokovic

Khalid Siddiqui — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:56:05 -0400

Dear Novak,

It is with much appreciation and relief that I write this letter to you today.

Firstly, I would like to thank you for providing your fans with some of the best tennis you've played since last year in Rome.

I believe that your performance at Monte Carlo showed the world that you are still a force to be reckoned with on the ATP Tour. It is still very much Big Four, as against the Big Three being thought of by detractors ready to write your on-court obituary.

Not only have you managed to shake Rafael Nadal's aura of invincibility on clay, but also gain valuable ranking points to once again open up a sizable 570-point lead over fourth-ranked Andy Murray.

Now I have seen articles all over the Internet and newspapers signaling Nadal's historic achievement. Some have even pointed to how well Nadal played, providing video evidence no less.

All the while they have forgotten to mention that you probably played your best match on clay and if it was any other player on the other side of the net (yes even if it was Roger Federer), it would be you lifting that Masters Series trophy at Monte Carlo.

There were doubters for sure when you lost a set in the third round and some expected you to fold against Verdasco in the quarter-final, but you slowly began to find confidence in your shots.

Maybe the slower clay (but slightly faster clay at Monte Carlo as compared to other clay courts) allowed you more time to plan and execute your shots. But overall, it was a great display of shot-making combined with well-planned approaches to the net.

When Wawrinka pushed you to three sets, your detractors seemed ready to pencil in Andy Murray as World No. 3.

However, you answered as best as you could, with your racquet. That two-hander down the line from an absurd angle while winning your fifth game of the final set against Wawrinka was absolutely insane and definitely deserved the emphatic roar you accompanied it with.

And then what to say of your effort in the final...

You started off sluggishly, then totally surprised Nadal with your shot selection and the pace of your brutal hitting.

People point to the fact that Nadal was moving and anticipating shots very well, but ignore the fact that Nadal was probably exerting himself at 100% on clay for the first time in two years.

Maybe he, along with Uncle Tony, was also expecting you to capitulate as you did in their Davis Cup match earlier this year.

Oh, the detractors were out with their knives when you took a medical timeout in the final to get your back treated. They were just waiting to turn on the wolf-whistles and the jeers as soon as you would announce your retirement from the match.

But you showed that No-Djo seems to have rediscovered his Mojo.

That second set in the final was simply sublime from a fan's point of view, and yours as well I'm sure.

People point to Nadal's superior shot-making ability and his ability to turn defense into offense, but they ignore the fact that you continued to paint the lines on a regular basis and deliver inch-perfect lobs and drop shots along the way to that second set win.

You really had Nadal on the ropes, and the worried look on Uncle Tony's face said it all.

And when you broke back to bring things back on serve (after being extremely unlucky not to break Nadal in the first game) in the third set, it looked as if we had a match on our hands.

But as fate would have it, Nadal is after all, Nadal. He went from 100% to 110%, while your unforced errors list seemed to grow.

Simply the length of the match, two hours and 49 minutes, tells you how closely contested this match was despite the crazy scoreline of 6-3, 2-6, 6-1.

If all three sets had gone the distance, there definitely would have been a case for recording this as the longest three-set match ever.

I would like to thank you, Novak, for working on your fitness and stamina and fighting it out even while falling behind one set in the semi-final and final.

Please don't pay heed to all the Federer apologists who say that this was just his first clay tournament of the year and he was trying out new things. Federer would never have been able to play that kind of tennis we saw in the final no matter what he was trying out.

And you can wholly ignore those who say that this was Nadal's first clay tournament of the year (if I remember correctly, the Davis Cup match with Serbia was on clay), and he will get better as the season progresses.

To those remarks, you just have to say that this was also your first clay tournament of the year.

As your fan, I expect you to continue this rich vein of form going into the Rome Masters and the Madrid Masters, and even Roland Garros. I know it is unrealistic to expect a continuous run on a surface like clay, unless your name is Nadal, but you have rekindled the faith of many fans by your fighting display in Monte Carlo.

And it certainly seems that you're getting the hang of your new racquet, which has translated into some pulverizing two-handed backhands and extremely well-angled forehands.

In the end, I would like to thank you for making my sporting weekend an enjoyable and memorable one even though it ended in defeat for you.

The fact that there were so many candidates for rally of the year in that final is a testament to the high quality of tennis on display, probably comparable to the first four sets of the Aussie Open final this year.

You can now focus once more on slowly, but gradually, pulling ahead of Roger Federer in the rankings (you're only 1240 points behind now against 2000 points earlier).

Thank you once again for placating your fans and answering your critics in the best way possible, and also for giving Uncle Tony and Rafael Nadal something to think about when they meet you once again, maybe in Rome, in Madrid, or even at Roland Garros.

May you continue to play your best,

Sincerely,

Member of the Novak Djokovic Fan Club.

The Best Tennis Players Who Will Retire Without a Grand Slam Title

Khalid Siddiqui — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 02:46:23 -0400

The last two decades of tennis have certainly been monopolized by two men, albeit separately, i.e. a certain Pete Sampras and his successor Roger Federer. Sampras dominated the hard courts and grass courts during the 1990s, with Andre Agassi giving him close competition on a consistent basis. And the 2000s have been dominated by a man with probably the largest fan-following in tennis history, i.e. Roger Federer. However, in between the building of these two dynasties there was a window of opportunity for a few pretenders to the throne to gain their share of the spoils. This was well-utilized by the likes of Lleyton Hewitt, Andy Roddick, Marat Safin, and even Goran Ivanisevic towards the end of his love affair with Wimbledon. This is a look at the tried-to-be's, the want-to-be's, and the should-have-been's of men's tennis, who are likely to retire without a Grand Slam title to their names. This slideshow is in no particular ranking order.

Begin Slideshow

The Nursery Rhymes Sports Fans Sing to Their Kids

Khalid Siddiqui — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 06:39:29 -0400

Come on admit it, every sports fan who has children loves to see their kids donning their favorite team's apparel and fanatically following each and every one of their favorite sports personalities. Mind you, sports franchises and clubs all over the world have made millions, if not billions already, by just selling merchandise for kids. But what I've tried to put together here in the interest of sports fans with children is mixing education with sport. Now nursery rhymes are one of the first things your children learn to hum or sing, even before they can start talking coherently. So here's to all the fanatic sports dads and moms who would rather sing these nursery rhymes with their kids as compared to the original versions.

Begin Slideshow

When the Fed Was Visited by the Ghosts of Safin and Goran Past

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 08:38:12 -0400

The first set of Roger Federer's semifinal against Novak Djokovic at the Sony Ericsson Open showed that it would take a monumental effort by the "Djoker" to get anything out of the match at all.

But as it turns out, the speed at which Roger went from being indestructible to utterly combustible was shocking, to say the least.

Forty-seven unforced errors in a best-of-three-set match?! Is that even possible unless you're ranked outside the top 20 or possess no groundshots whatsoever?

What most people don't know is that during this very match, Roger Federer was paid a visit by a couple of ghosts from the past. They were the ghosts of Marat and Goran, to be exact.

With close observation, we were able to determine just what went on in the Fed's head during the ill-fated encounter with Djokovic. After all, there must be a reason why the "Fed Ex" made a worse landing than Tom Hanks' Fed Ex plane in the Hollywood flick Castaway.

Here's the script of what actually happened:

Fed has just won the first set, and is sitting calmly on his bench, thinking about what he'll be wearing that evening when he takes Mirka and baby Fed out to dinner at their favorite Miami hangout.

"Man, this is a drag," he thinks. "This guy was only good when he did his impressions. But since Rafa and I've complained about that, he just can't seem to play. Hmm...maybe I'll wear a suit from one of my Rolex commercials tonight."

Very soon, Federer's down two breaks in the second set, and a couple of voices begin to raise a din in his head.

"Hey Roger, remember me?" says one voice. "I'm the guy who showed the world you could be beaten way back in 2005."

Then, a distinctly East European accent sounds, "And remember me? I am guy you do huge favor back in 2001 when you knock off Pete, allowing me to win Wimbledon!"

Next Roger hears, "We can see you're in a spot of bother at the moment with this pesky joker (pun intended), so we've decided to come back and try to repay our debts by helping you out today."

Fed thinks to himself, "What? This amateur bunch with a total of three grand slams is going to help me?"

The ghost of Goran then suddenly pipes in, "Careful, Roger, we're in your head, you know. We can hear what you think. Surprise Mirka by wearing purple and yellow pinstripe suit tonight, and by the way, I think that if you sprout pony tail and grow moustache, it greatly help in intimidating your opponents."

Safin then adds, "No, no, no. Shave your head, man. Your opponents will be so distracted and laughing so hard that they will automatically lose."

Federer tries to clear his head, then gets one break back from Djokovic, but still manages to lose the set.

"It's okay, Roger, we've got him where we want him," says Safin's voice, chiming in again. "I beat him last year at Wimbledon and figured him out pretty quickly. At least the heat's to your advantage"

Fed sits on the bench and tells the inner voices, "Okay, guys, let's do this thing. I can already see myself holding the trophy. Not even Rafa can stop me this time around."

Later, in Game Two of the final set with Fed looking to hold serve, Goran suggests, "I tell you what, aim for that service-box line judge, and you'll automatically hit ace."

"Not a bad idea, but I think you should aim for the line judge down the middle," Safin counters.

Fed smacks it straight into the net.

"Okay, guys, calm down. I'll ask for your help when I need it."

While rallying a point with Djokovic, Federer is running full-throttle in an attempt to reach a ball on his forehand. Safin screams, "Lob it, lob it!"

Then Goran shouts, "Blast it cross-court!"

Lo and behold, Fed smacks it straight into the net again. He's broken, so Goran suggests, "I think you switch to two-handed backhand. Your forehand has gone to dogs, along with your one-handed backhand."

Then arrives the fateful moment: Federer's running in towards the net to try to put away a lollipop forehand pass and hears, "Inside out, Roger, inside out!"

Then, almost expectedly, Safin is saying, "Cross-court, cross-court!"

And Fed hits a "nothing" shot right into the tape.

Roger smashes his trusty Wilson onto the Crandon Park Stadium Court.

"Jeez, guys! Let a guy play, will you?!"

Safin has to throw in his two cents and says, "Now that's the way to play. This is what tennis is all about. Nothing like the sound of a racquet hitting the cement."

"Way to go Roger! I give ten out of ten for that racquet," Goran proclaims. "You absolutely killed it. Save it to show to your children; you can tell them how you at least do something right in this match."

Federer is incensed.

"Guys, look, it's all well and good that you're trying to help me, but you're causing me more problems. Can you stay quiet for a couple of games so I can get my rhythm back?"

So Safin and Goran sit back and watch as Fed gets one break back in the final set and then holds serve again.

"I liked it better when you were missing shots," Safin finally offers. "Can I convince you to smash another racquet? I mean, Wilson's paying for them, right?"

"Next time, also try kicking net and swearing at chair umpire and line judges," Goran puts in. "It work for me at Wimbledon. And maybe you also try playing left-handed, no? That work for me as well. I don't think you do any worse than playing right-handed."

Then it's match point for Djokovic, and Roger duly obliges by hitting a forehand long. Safin consoles the loser.

"Sorry Roger, we tried to help you, but you didn't take any of our suggestions seriously."

Goran's parting shot is, "Maybe you only good enough to play Grand Slams. When you walk back to bench don't shake umpire's hand. Then you complete 'bad-boy' transformation."

This time, Fed listens and doesn't shake the chair umpire's hand before taking the lonely walk back to the locker room.

In the meantime, Safin and Goran are contemplating how to "help" Djokovic in the final. They feel sorry for him, considering he's about to lose the No. 3 ranking to Andy Murray in a few weeks' time. And we all know just how that final against Murray went, don't we?

I'm sure he could have equalled, if not surpassed Federer's semifinal unforced error tally had the match gone into a third set.

No smashed racquets there, but that's probably because Djokovic was too tired to even crack the racquet frame.

Imran Khan: On Top of the World at the Twilight of His Career

Khalid Siddiqui — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 06:20:38 -0400

Seldom do careers have such fairytale endings when an incredible athlete can go out on the highest of highs. Having been an avid sports fan for several years, only a few instances spring to mind: Pete Sampras at his last US Open; John Elway after leading the NFL Denver Broncos to two consecutive Superbowl victories; and Michael Jordan's first and second retirements from the Chicago Bulls are a few that I can think of.

However, the one sporting triumph that I hold closest to my heart is the Pakistan cricket team's victory in the 1992 Cricket World Cup held in Australia and New Zealand. That victory not only allowed Imran Khan, one of the greatest all-rounders of all time, to end his career on a high, but also kicked off the best decade in the history of Pakistan cricket.

At the time the 1992 World Cup was being played, Imran was already pushing 40 years of age, and several cricket experts and fans were divided in their opinion on whether he still had it in him to play at the highest level. The manner of the Pakistan cricket team's early progress in the World Cup round-robin matches was disappointing, to say the least.

Then came the lucky break which, in hindsight, changed the outcome of the tournament. Pakistan were embarrassingly bowled out for only 74 in their match against England, but then divine intervention in the form of rain resulted in abandonment of the match with both teams being awarded a point each for the no-result.

After having lost to India and South Africa in succession, there was no silver lining at all with only three points earned, and an early trip home looking all but a mere formality. Then came Imran's famous 'cornered tigers' team talk, which to this day is remembered as the most motivational team talk by a cricket captain. It was simple. Pakistan needed to win all their remaining matches to even have a chance of qualifying for the semi-finals, and needed other teams to do them favors as well.

Pakistan set about the task of resurrecting their tournament under Imran's leadership by beating Australia by 48 runs at Perth. An expected, yet close, victory against unfancied Sri Lanka set up an intriguing clash of wills. New Zealand, the only unbeaten team in the tournament came up against Imran's tigers in its last match, and in the end it was no contest.

Pakistan won comfortably by seven wickets, with Imran inspiring Wasim Akram to show glimpses of what was in store for Pakistan's cricket future. When Australia finally beat West Indies in the last round-robin game of the tournament, only then did Pakistan officially qualify for the semi finals.

The semi-final was a nail-biting affair with Pakistan scraping home with a four-wicket win with only one over to spare. In an almost poetic twist, Pakistan were to play the same team which had bowled them out for only 74 runs in the round-robin stage, i.e. England. This was to be Pakistan's first-ever World Cup final, and that is where Imran took centre-stage.

Pakistan lost an early wicket while batting first. And to everyone's surprise, it was Imran himself who walked out to bat at No. 3. Another wicket fell, and then Imran fashioned one of the most memorable partnerships with vice captain Javed Miandad. The strategy was simple: keep wickets in hand, as we have the firepower for quick runs down the order. With half the overs having been bowled, Pakistan were lingering along at a mere three runs per over.

That was when Imran broke the shackles by smashing English spinner Richard Illingworth for one of the longest sixes ever seen at the MCG. He fashioned a masterful innings of 72 runs from 110 balls, which laid the foundation for middle and lower order batsmen to hit out and take the score to 249/6 in 50 overs. Imran's final cricket innings was one of his best, planned with the patience of an experienced head, and played with the pomp of a batsman in his prime.

England's batsmen remained under pressure throughout their innings, and it was the extra cherry on top of the sundae when Imran himself took the final wicket of the World Cup. Although in the end, it was Wasim Akram who was named man of the match, people still remember that partnership between Imran and Miandad as the factor which gave the team the confidence and belief to go out there and win.

Imran Khan ended up fashioning one of the most memorable performances by a player and captain in his final cricket match and final cricket tournament. This is possibly as good as it can get for a dedicated sportsman who was also one of the best to ever take the field.

Marat Safin's Train of Thought During His Loss to Gael Monfils

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 08:26:12 -0400

For a player who is on his farewell ATP tour, it is looking more and more likely that there may be no Cinderella story ending.

The mighty Russian may have aged physically, but temperamentally he still remains as volatile as, uh...well there doesn't seem to be anything much more volatile than his own self.

After willing him to win against Monfils in the Sony Ericcson Open third round, I could not help but wonder what exactly must have been going through his mind as he raced all the way back from the finish line to literally carry Monfils to that line. Here's a look at what Marat might have been saying to himself during crucial times in the match:

"Hey I've just won the first set. This is a breeze. Is this guy really top 10? I think this new shaved-head look is just the mojo I need to turn my year around."

Then Safin looks up into the crowd to see a bunch of college kids with the letters G-O S-A-F-I-N painted individually on their tummies, and thinks to himself:

"Now that's something you don't see often in this part of the world. The heat and humidity must be getting to these kids. Why are they rooting for me? Do they actually think I can win? Oh no, they're going to #@*& jinx me. Or are they just telling me to go home?"

Then with Monfils and Safin continuing to go at it and having traded breaks of serve, the score reaches 6-5 in the second set. Marat is looking to serve the set into a tie-break and thinks to himself:

"Hey, I can still play, but wait I've just proved that by breaking his serve. No need to work too hard. I'll just up it a bit in the tie-break."

Monfils hits a couple of scorching winners, and heads for the bench. Marat, still in a daze, is thinking:

"Hey, where are you going? Don't you want to play the tie-break now? You're giving up? What's that? I lost the game, AND the set?! No way!!!! Oh well, I'm seeded lower than him and it's okay to lose a set. In any case, there's nothing good on TV this evening (only Novak has yet to play, and it's not too hot and sunny to bother him) so I can hang around for another set."

It's 2-2, and Marat breaks Monfils' serve to move up 3-2. Now he's serving to consolidate the break and go up 4-2.

"Oh no, you stupid #@*& racquet, you're supposed to hit the ball inside the lines. Now I'm down break-point. I'm getting another racquet."

A couple of nervy points, and then it's deuce. After trading advantages, Safin holds for 4-2.

"Huff, puff, I'm winning, I'm winning. Wait, I don't want to jinx myself into a false sense of confidence."

And then Safin's in La-La Land when he breaks Monfils again. While relaxing on the bench before he gets to serve out the match:

"Two breaks of serve to the good! Yeeaaaaah!!! Wonder how I'll celebrate this win over a top-10 player? I can just picture myself taking a bow and laying my autograph on the camera."

Now is the time when Marat chooses to revisit and invite into his head all the demons of his fears and past failings. Monfils breaks serve to bring the score to 3-5.

"Oh, it's okay, I'm glad I got that second break for insurance. I'll just serve it out next time. But I'll still be late for that Miami Heat match this evening that Roddick invited me to. I'll just beat him in the fourth round to thank him for the invitation."

And lo and behold! Safin is down break point once again on his serve with Monfils threatening to even the score.

"Why God, why? What have I ever done to you? I think I'm seeing Federer on the other side of the net, or wait, is that Rafa? I thought I was supposed to be playing some French kid."

And Safin's shot sails long to even the score at 5-5 in the third:

"See. I knew it was too good to be true. I can't beat top 10 players anymore. They need to have a weaker mental disposition than me, a la Novak at Wimbledon last year. They should have a speed limit for these new kids. Chasing down everything I hit at him..."

And Marat holds serve this time to take the third set into a tie-break.

"Ah, here's where it's at. I can just boom away a few aces, and it'll be a walk in the park."

And, predictably, the temperamental Russian loses 7-3 in the tie-break.

"That was more like a walk in the car wash. Sheesh. Well at least Dinara won't have to travel home alone. In any case I was seeded to lose here anyway. If I could smash every single one of these racquets right now...See, you stupid kids told me to GO...and now I'm going. Why couldn't you have written something like W-I-N S-A-F-I-N or something?"

Walking past autograph-seeking kids into the tunnel: "Don't give me that pen, I might sign C-H-O-K-E-R. The ATP tour now officially has a DJOKER and a CHOKER. But look on the bright side, at least I beat him on the unforced errors count 57-46. Wait, that's supposed to be not-good. Aaaaaagh!!!!!!"

It's mind-numbing, really, how such a talented player can still contrive to lose after staring victory in the face, and in fact end up leaving victory stranded all alone at the altar.

Being a Marat fan of old, it does worry me that by the time Marat Safin says goodbye at the end of the season, it might be with a ranking outside the top 32. This is certainly not the type of farewell tour he and his fans would have been hoping for.

Why Tennis is "The" Original Beautiful Game

Khalid Siddiqui — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 07:49:44 -0400

While I sit here today reminiscing about all the pleasant memories from my childhood, I can't help but think back to the time when I first fell in love with sports.

In a cricket-crazy country like mine, it would not be illogical to assume this moment to be Javed Miandad's legendary last ball six against India in Sharjah. But that is not only the wrong train of thought, it is also the wrong platform to begin with.

In a country shorn of any sporting legacy barring cricket and field hockey, it surprises me that my 'love at first sight' moment turned out to be watching Boris Becker and Stefan Edberg battling it out on the lush green grass of the Centre Court at SW19 for the most prestigious tennis prize.

Please don't get me wrong. My infatuation does not begin and end with tennis. It transcends across many a manner of displaying sporting prowess.

Where would one be without a weekly dose of football; a serving of test cricket spiced up with ODIs along with T20 for dessert; gravity-defying antics of the NBA; and even the mesmerizing combination of power and grace in the NHL?

Sporting parlance suggests that football be considered the "beautiful" game. But then what of the fact that the essence of beauty lies in the eye of beholder? Don't get me wrong, there is probably very little in the sporting world that is more beautiful than the skill of a footballer when in full pomp.

But that "very little" which takes precedence for this beholder is defined by sound of a tennis ball making music with the strings of two tennis racquets, as two modern-day gladiators try not only to overpower, but out-think and out-pace each other in a small rectangular area halved by a piece of cloth.

The ability to wield a "weapon" so skillfully as a tennis racquet is so much more pleasing to these eyes when compared to a perfectly threaded through ball, or even a Henry-like ability to go past six defenders and still put the ball in the goal (sorry Liverpool fans for that little memory).

Be it Roger's mighty Wilson, or Marat's blistering Head, the sheer variety of feats that can be accomplished with a simple "stringed club" and a tennis ball has to be classified as nothing less than poetry in motion.

The power and placement of a tennis serve down the T just catching the line; the ability to make the tennis ball walk a tight rope with a whipping cross-court topspin forehand; the grace and poise of the backhand down the line, flirting with thoughts of kissing the highest part of the net; and of course the shock-element and finesse of the perfect drop shot, or even the perfect lob.

After all, it isn't plain old wrestling which makes one admire a sportsman's skill, but the grace of a fencer with a sword as he tries to play chess on his own two feet.

A variety of styles is on display for the tennis connoisseur: from the elegance and poise of the serve-and-volleyer, to the endurance of the hard-core baseliner; from the unflappable all-over-the-court-chaser, to the intimidation of seeing the tennis ball returned faster than one's own serve.

Then there are the special moments which make the true fan laugh and cry at their brilliance and tragedy at the same time. There always exists the potential of a turnaround, even if a player is down match-point.

It doesn't matter whether he lost the first two sets 6-0, 6-0. Can a football team ever come back to win from 3-0 down in the last minute of a match? The twists, turns, storylines, and thickening of plots are so much a part and parcel of tennis that every match between players in form could be its very own short novel.

The absence of any time-related boundaries in tennis is probably the perfect beauty mark for the face of this sport.

Now tell me, can a game really be called "beautiful" when one is able to cheat the referee into awarding free kicks, penalties, and even disallowing goals?

It's like putting on some expensive make-up to cover up the blemishes, or like promising your girl that you'll take her sight-seeing and then taking her to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy at the theater instead (very scenic, might I add, but not what she was thinking for sure).

And to think such play-acting and horrible refereeing can actually decide the outcome of who holds the tag of world champions of football.

Now, tennis. You can't cheat your way into a win here. It may be a horrendous umpiring error or a bad line call (now reduced to being negligible thanks to Hawk-Eye), but there is no way to force the umpire or linesman to make the decision you want them to make.

A true triumph for the sports purist, as there is nothing but ability and skill with the racquet and ball which decides the outcome in tennis.

Agreed that endurance and stamina are now important facets as well, but there's no "diving for fouls", or "writhing on the ground clutching your face when you've barely been brushed by your opponent", or even the audacity to "try and claim a throw-in or corner kick when you know you've touched the ball last."

Then I recall the memories of the truly classic battles: Becker vs. Edberg at Wimbledon, Agassi vs. Ivanisevic at Wimbledon, Ivanisevic vs. Rafter at Wimbledon, Safin vs. Federer at the Australian, Nalbandian vs. Federer at the Masters Cup, Federer vs. Nadal at Wimbledon and the Australian, Sampras vs. Federer at Wimbledon, Safin vs. Agassi at the Australian, Rafter vs. Agassi at Wimbledon...the list goes on and on and on.

A sprinkling of memories to be cherished for a lifetime, if not more.

Is there a game more beautiful than my beloved tennis, I ask myself. I fail to come up with any answer other than a resounding "No."

Then I think to myself that it makes sense for them to say that a person's first love is probably the most cherished one of all, and that those feelings don't die even over a lifetime.

Are FIFA and UEFA Wrong to Oppose "Surprise" Drug Testing?

Khalid Siddiqui — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:55:09 -0400

Imagine this scenario:

You tune into your favorite sports channel to watch the FIFA World Cup final, which is only the most watched single sports event in the world. The team sheets are being announced, and suddenly you're shell-shocked by the news that your favorite player's name is not there. Why?! Well, it's just been revealed that Mr. Favorite just happened to be caught doing his very own imitation of Alex Rodriguez and Barry Bonds.

Then you suddenly remember that it was the very body that is supposed to regulate the game, i.e. FIFA, which decided against applying the strict World Anti Doping Association (WADA) code to its sport. Something about invasion of players' private lives, you recall. Then everything falls into place and you're left watching a very one-sided FIFA World Cup Final, You feel cheated, and you don't know who to blame.

Welcome to the wonderful world of dope-tainted sports.

This is a nightmare scenario any sports governing body would like to avoid. The recriminations of such a discovery go far and beyond the one game in question. They go all the way back to when Mr. Favorite started scoring those wonderful goals, and making those incredible lung-busting runs, and is now close to breaking his club's all-time goal scoring record. Should Mr. Favorite continue to be considered the greatest player his club has ever seen, or should his name be scratched from the record books?

FIFA has, unfortunately, hidden behind the argument that team sports require different sets of rules as compared to individual sports such as athletics, cycling, tennis, swimming, baseball (huh? baseball?) . . . Wait!!! Isn't that a team sport? FIFA says that players are in the training ground six days out of seven, so the stringent "whereabouts rule" need not be applied to footballers.

But weren't the Major League Baseball (MLB) players also on the training ground day-in and day-out? They still did manage to find time for their "dopey" activities, while their peers kept wondering to themselves, "How the hell am I ever going to play at that guy's level?"

Frankly, given the amount of money involved in the club game these days, and with the absurd level of weekly salaries being earned to kick around a football, it shouldn't be too much to ask to submit to a surprise dope test. I think what FIFA is mainly worried about is player power, or maybe that this testing procedure might actually result in someone getting caught. Come on you pampered millionaire footballers. If you have nothing to fear, why is a random drugs test such a big issue?

After all, it did take some time to sort through the match-fixing scandal in Serie A, with all the demotions and docking of points. So it is unlikely that FIFA and UEFA can afford another scandal. A doping scandal, the scale of which is even half that of the one being seen in MLB, is likely to taint several records and score lines in this beautiful game.

If team sports like cricket can submit to strict anti-doping regulations, what is stopping FIFA from merely going the extra mile to confirm what it already believes to be true, i.e. "football is a clean sport."

The financial scale of the football industry has become too huge, and the stakes may be too high in FIFA's opinion to risk any sort of doping scandal. To FIFA, UEFA, and the Professional Footballers' Association (PFA), I'd like to say: please stop trying to hide behind the argument of individual sports being the major breeding ground for doping when you have the example of MLB in front of you.

It's not a witch-hunt that WADA is initiating, rather a drive to make the game appear as clean as possible. In today's high-stakes world, it would not be inconceivable for a professional footballer to try to "enhance" his abilities on the field if it continues to get him heavy financial rewards. A FIFA doping circus with sworn statements and affidavits, and perjury trials is the last thing one wants.

No one would like to see Mr. Favorite sitting there in the post-World Cup final press conference trying to explain to his global legion of fans (a la Alex Rodriguez) that he "made a stupid mistake" and "it won't happen again."

How the Cricket Fortunes of Pakistan and India Have Diverged This Decade

Khalid Siddiqui — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 05:52:38 -0400

The 1990s was a decade of domination by the subcontinent in the cricket world, with all three of the test-playing nations India, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka being dominant forces. However, the 2000s have seen the mantle shift more and more on to India, with Pakistan cricket faltering consistently.

So how is it that the paths of Pakistan and India have diverged so significantly over the last few years, in cricketing terms?

1. Captaincy: No inspiration since Wasim, and the journey from Sourav to Dhoni

If there ever was a natural successor to Imran Khan as Pakistan captain in the 1990s, it was Wasim Akram, and the cricket board at the time was proactive enough to appoint Wasim captain ahead of Javed Miandad.

Even though Wasim's image was tarnished to an extent by speculation about his possible involvement with the bookies, he was still considered to be the best man to lead the Pakistan cricket team, and in my opinion was probably only behind Steve Waugh in terms of ability to inspire teammates in that particular era.

Test series victories in England and India, and leading Pakistan to the World Cup final in 1999 were some of the high points of not only Wasim's captaincy, but for Pakistan cricket as well. Well-publicized spats with Waqar Younis and Rashid Latif, however, forced the PCB's hand in relieving him of the captaincy.

Since Wasim was removed as captain, the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has struggled to find a leader in the same mould. Infighting and politics not only among the players, but within the PCB has overshadowed the battle for captaincy. Potential future captains at the time, Abdul Razzaq and Saqlain Mushtaq have since been sidelined.

The longest captaincy stint since Wasim's retirement has been enjoyed by Inzamam-ul-Haq. Sorry to say this, but Inzi was never captaincy material in the first place. Absolutely no motivational skills, and an overly relaxed attitude. Seniority does not automatically justify captaincy.

And in less than two years now, Shoaib Malik has made way for Younis Khan.

On the other side of the border though, the Indian captaincy has moved on from Sourav Ganguly to a very worthy MS Dhoni. The winning mentality that Sourav instilled in his teammates, has remained with the team as there have been no major flip-flops on the captaincy front, with the transfer of power being relatively smooth.

Sure there has been politics, but the BCCI was quick to stem the rot following India's 2007 World Cup debacle. Anil Kumble didn't do too bad a job as captain, while MS Dhoni has taken the Indian cricket team's mental strength to another level.

India now competes at the level of Australia and South Africa in both the test and ODI arenas, with Pakistan struggling to avoid a slide into mediocrity similar to that of the West Indies in the late 1990s and early 2000s.

2. Better talent not forthcoming for Pakistan; India continues to roll them out

If one compares the two teams player-wise, it is quite evident that India have had the better luck in terms of discovering new talent. Even fast bowling, which at one time used to be monopolized by Pakistanis, is now something which the Indians are excelling at.

Let's take a look at some of the comparisons, and it is plain to see that India wins out hands down.

Salman Butt vs. Virender Sehwag: Clearly Salman Butt is not in the same league as either Saeed Anwar or Aamir Sohail. Sehwag, on the other hand, is an indispensable part of the Indian batting lineup, and will always be the first man to be named on the team sheet.

Kamran Akmal vs. MS Dhoni: No competition here either, be it with the gloves or with the bat. It is still a mystery why the PCB continues to persist with Kamran Akmal and not give a chance to younger wicket-keepers.

Dhoni, on the other hand, has been as intelligent with his batting as with his gloves. He has refined his game to suit the needs of the team rather than continuing to be classified as a pinch hitter.

Shahid Afridi vs. Yuvraj Singh: The designated big hitters in their respective teams have had clearly divergent careers. Shahid Afridi's batting form has been the most inconsistent I've ever seen, but now it's more consistent in terms of its mediocrity.

On the other hand, Yuvraj has adapted his game to treat each ball on its merit. Sure, you have your rushes of blood, but Shahid Afridi thinks every ball is meant to be hit out of the park.

Younis Khan vs. Sachin Tendulkar: These two are probably the best batsmen in their respective teams, and the gulf is enormous. While Younis has been quite consistent, he has not become a batsman whom bowlers fear when he walks to the crease.

Sachin, on the other hand, is well...Sachin. A batsman mentioned in the same breath as the great Sir Don Bradman, and among his peers along with the likes of Lara and Ponting.

Mohammad Asif vs. Zaheer Khan: Okay, this is one where I give the advantage to Pakistan, but Asif's career is probably never going to be the same given his tendency to experiment with drugs.

Sohail Tanvir vs. Ishant Sharma: This is a tough one, because clearly in the shortest version of the game Sohail Tanvir does hold the advantage with the unpredictability of his bowling action. However, moving on to the Test arena, there is only one clear winner in this comparison of young bowling talent, i.e. Sharma.

Misbah-ul-Haq vs. VVS Laxman: Misbah's career has clearly been start-stop. He is probably best remembered for his heroics in the ICC World Twenty20 in 2007. However, in terms of his ability to perform at the highest level, he has yet to prove himself. His footwork leaves a lot to be desired and he may seem overconfident at times.

Laxman, on the other hand, has played some of the most memorable innings ever by an Indian batsman. No one can forget the double century following-on against Australia.

Danish Kaneria vs. Harbhajan Singh: This is hardly a comparison because Danish Kaneria has consistently failed to deliver against the better cricketing nations. Harbhajan, on the other hand is a proven competitor in all forms of the game. He's even a much better tail-end batsman than Kaneria.

So why has the talent dried up for Pakistan? For one, cricket has become a much more scientific and technical game. Talent alone is not enough these days. Hard work, working on one's own weaknesses, and closely analyzing your opponent's weaknesses are all extremely important facets of the game.

Gone are the heady days of Wasim and Waqar running in and knocking over stumps.

Pakistan continues to be categorized as one of the weaker fielding sides, while India has built cavalry of young and exciting fielders like Yuvraj, Raina, Rohit Sharma, etc.

Secondly, the structure of domestic cricket in India and Pakistan has followed differing paths. The PCB is still confused whether it wants to hold matches on a regional basis, or on an institutional basis. The types of pitches prepared in both countries are similar, but footwork of Indian batsmen is still much better than that of the Pakistanis.

The power of money and an enormous fan base

The BCCI has definitely hit the jackpot with its marketing abilities, and the team continues to deliver important victories to back those marketing efforts. In India, cricket is followed with religious zeal, while Pakistan's inconsistency has resulted in dwindling attendances and sponsorships.

The threat of terrorism is much more pronounced in Pakistan, which doesn't allow foreign teams to tour the country. The lack of international cricket has also lessened interest in the game, while depriving players of top level competition.

Can you imagine a test-playing nation going a whole calendar year without playing a single test match? Pakistan holds that dubious record for 2008.

Indian cricket authorities have been able to invest in player fitness, while Pakistan has continued to suffer from injured bowlers.

Look at the number of products being endorsed by Indian cricketers, but Pakistan's cricketers have not endorsed anything meaningful since the day Wasim Akram retired.

It may seem like a virtuous circle for India, where winning on the field translates into more publicity and money for the BCCI, but the fact that the players work harder on the field is the main reason. It would be nigh impossible for Pakistan to even envision tournaments on the scale of the IPL, or even the stepchild ICL.

Of course, speaking of the ICL, several of Pakistan's better players have moved to play in the ICL after being disillusioned by the PCB's ability to reward them financially, as well as with a place in the team. Pakistan surely misses players like Mohammad Yousuf, Abdul Razzaq, Imran Nazir (in 20/20), Rana Naved, and Imran Farhat.

Conclusion: Pakistani cricketers seem to have lost the will to work hard

All this has boiled down to the fact that in Pakistan, cricketers still try to do just enough to retain their places in the national team. On the other hand, Indian cricketers have developed a winning mentality.

India definitely holds the advantage in terms of mental strength on the field, while Pakistan cricket continues to be gripped by melancholic attitudes and players more intent on asserting their seniority. Following Inzi's retirement, there were at least six players who expressed their "willingness" to lead Pakistan's cricket team.

After all, which country's cricket team can boast to have so many aspiring captains in one team, that it continues to be embroiled in politics rather than concentrating on how best to win the game?

The Top 20 Ways Roger Federer Can Beat Rafael Nadal

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 06:12:36 -0400

A once indomitable force in men's tennis, Roger Federer now finds his quest to be known as the "best ever" at the mercy of Rafael Nadal, a man who could end up as the proud owner of that tag in the years to come.

In the tradition of David Letterman's humorous "Top 10" lists, this is a light-hearted way of looking at the current desperation of Roger's plight. Let's see how Federer can finally get one past Nadal. Enjoy...

20. Get hold of Rafa's to-do list for the day, and change the time for the item "wipe the court with Roger" so that Rafa is late and Roger wins by forfeit.

19. Pay the hotel staff to mix Rafa's white and coloured clothes together in the laundry, making the colours wear off onto the whites. With no whites, Rafa won't be able to step onto Centre Court at Wimbledon.

18. Take tips from Brad Pitt (Benjamin Button) on how to age in reverse, enabling Roger to win a few more Slams when Rafa's age starts to catch up with him.

17. Walk onto the court with a Nintendo Wii, and challenge Rafa to some Wii Tennis. Rafa will likely trip on some piece of furniture in the living room given the way he charges around the court.

(A Wii Slam's as good as a real Slam, right?)

16. Take Rafa for a hiking trip and disappear with the map in the night, leaving him to find his own way back to the city. Yet again, he'll be late for the match.

15. Get a clone. Two Rogers are better than one. It's going to be a really close match, but Rafa might just lose out.

14. Reprogram Hawk-Eye to always show Rafa's shots landing a few centimetres away from their actual landing spot. Challenge every close call and win the points.

Caution: Will not work on clay courts. Please wait until Wimbledon.

13. Hypnotize Rafa in the locker room before the match and make him believe that the aim of the game is to hit the ball either into the net or slightly outside the lines.

12. Buy the company that makes the tennis balls for the Slams and give a few doctored ones to Rafa to practice with. He'll lose all sense of timing when the actual match is played.

11. Convince Rafa to take a two-year sabbatical from tennis in order to attain his undergraduate degree.

10. Introduce Rafa to Facebook and Bleacher Report so he gets hooked and is unable to get in his normal sleep, leaving him groggy on matchday.

9. Shout "Hey, Rafa" every time Rafa begins his pre-serve routine of fixing his undershorts, checking his shoe laces, and pushing back his hair so that he loses track and has to start over again. Rafa will take so long that he will be punished for time wasting, handing Roger more points.

8. Pray to God like crazy that someone else beats Rafa. He could then claim that he had an indirect hand in Rafa's defeat.

7. Introduce Rafa to Alex Rodriguez and Barry Bonds, and put the ATP on high alert.

6. Send a letter to the Spanish army convincing them to draft Rafa for a couple of years of mandatory service.

5. Cry every time he loses, so Rafa takes pity on him and lets him win one more slam to go one better than Sampras. Rafa can do this safe in the knowledge that, when all is said and done, he will have the highest number of Grand Slam victories. (No offense intended to all the Federer fans out there.)

4. Try serving underhand once in a while during the match (remember Michael Chang against Ivan Lendl?) to confuse Rafa.

3. Convince the ATP to create a separate Tour for superhumans and transfer Rafa there. Yeah, Rafa, why don't you pick on someone your own size.

2. Convince Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham) to introduce Rafa to one of her friends, who could then do to Rafa's career what she's done to David Beckham's club career.

And the No. 1 way for Roger to get the better of Rafa is (drum-roll please)...

1. Retire now, and make a comeback once Rafa retires. Odds are Roger will still be good enough to win a few Slams once Rafa's done, maybe even Roland Garros.

Tennis Stars (Mis)Align to Allow Novak Djokovic to Win First Title of 2009

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 02:21:49 -0500

Fortune favours the brave, they say. So given the amount of good fortune Novak Djokovic had during the Barclays Dubai Tennis Championships last week, he is probably the bravest man on the ATP tour.

Even before a ball was dropped on court in Dubai, the top two players in the world, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer, had withdrawn citing injuries.

His tour boogeyman, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, and the 'new and improved' Andy Roddick were also not among those playing.

This allowed Djokovic to go into a major tournament seeded number 1, and allowed him to avoid another of his main nemeses, Andy Murray, all the way until the final.

But, as luck would have it, Murray also withdrew at the quarter-final stage, leaving only Gilles Simon as a major threat to Djokovic's title ambitions. Djokovic's journey through the tournament was not hurdle-free, with the Czech Jan Hernych nearly stretching him to his limit in an error-strewn performance.

He had a relatively easier time against up and coming Marin Cilic in the quarter finals, but still had demons to exorcise in the semi final against third-seeded Frenchman Gilles Simon.

As Djokovic was the most improved player on the ATP tour in 2007, Simon certainly warranted a mention in same category along with Andy Murray for 2008.

A daytime semi-final in the heat of Dubai certainly brought back memories of Djokovic's stamina lapse at the Australian Open quarter final stage earlier this year.

Epic semi nearly wilted Djokovic again

Djokovic's now-famous breathing problems and fragile stamina nearly caused him to lose out in the Dubai heat once again. The signs were quite ominous when he dropped the first set 3-6. But he seemed to change gears for one final thrust in the second set and won the set 7-5.

After being broken early on in the final set, it seemed Djokovic would wilt away in the heat once again. However, as the sun started to set and the heat started to dissipate, Djokovic found his last ounce of strength to break back and then take advantage of Simon's errors to win the final set 7-5 as well.

Night final a blessing for Nole

Once he had gotten past Simon, a night final awaited against Spanish fourth-seed David Ferrer, against whom he had a head-to-head record of 3-3. Djokovic must surely have breathed a sigh of relief looking at the match time.

Even though the 7-5, 6-3 scoreline suggested a comfortable straight sets win for Djokovic, the performance was highlighted by several errors.

Errors like the ones he committed against Ferrer would never have gone unpunished against the likes of Federer and Nadal. Both sets were littered with breaks of serve either way.

However, a breath of fresh air was the way Djokovic handled Ferrer's baseline game and tried to cut down his running time along the baseline.

He was more willing to come to the net to neutralize Ferrer's baseline game, and the absence of the scorching sun allowed him to play a bit more freely.

Now that Djokovic has his first title for 2009 under his belt, it should give him some confidence despite the absence of quite a few top-ranked players. He has even closed the ranking points differential against Roger Federer to 1,580 compared to 1,990 prior to the tournament.

But the reality is that the next few ATP tournaments leading up to the French Open will be on clay. This should involve a comfortable march to every major title in the next few weeks for Rafael Nadal (provided he plays those tournaments).

The real battle for Djokovic will be to try and tame his shortcomings against the likes of Murray and Tsonga to consolidate his position as world No. 3, while hoping for some luck in the French Open draw as well.

If he is in Federer's half of the draw, he could possibly ponder playing in his first French Open final, but that is the best he should probably hope for from the claycourt season given Nadal's ruthless clay form.

The Football Oscars: Keeping in Mind the Festive Awards Season

Khalid Siddiqui — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:53:51 -0500

While Hollywood honours its best performers of 2008, it would also be apt to take advantage of this festive awards season to go through the star performers in the world's most watched sport. The footballing theatre of dreams that inspires many a fan like ourselves has seen its own stars take the stage during the current season. An honour roll is definitely the order of the day. This is more English Premier League centric in nature, and is likely to change come the end of the season, so it can be considered a mid-season awards show, but with a slight twist to the normal awards categories.

Begin Slideshow

Arsenal and AS Roma: A Clash of Similar Styles and Similar Predicaments

Khalid Siddiqui — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 04:13:33 -0500

Arsenal and AS Roma meet each other in the Champions League knockout round over two legs in February and March.

The two clubs have endured frustrating seasons to say the least, with Arsenal sitting 15 points off the lead in the English Premier League and AS Roma sitting 16 points off the lead in Serie A.

Both these teams are renowned for playing the ‘beautiful’ brand of football that thrills fans to no end, but both are also in danger of missing out on a Champions League spot for next season.

The two similar styles are set to clash in an intriguing second round Champions League tie that most certainly will define the remainder of their respective seasons. Roma are being picked as favorites by several sports pundits, and that is mostly down to the weaknesses displayed by Arsenal this season, and the edge in experience that Roma possesses.

Below is an attempt to break down who holds the advantage in defense, midfield, and attack, and where this second round tie could be decided.

Defense: Advantage AS Roma

While Arsenal have been criticized for having a leaky defense, in reality, AS Roma haven’t exactly been a model of discipline at the back either.

If one looks at the respective league statistics, Arsenal have conceded 25 goals in 25 games, while AS Roma have conceded 31 times in 24 games. Therefore, defensive nerves are evident for both the "attack-minded" clubs.

Arsenal’s best backline looks to be Sagna, Toure, Gallas, and Clichy. However, an injury to any one of these players is likely to play into AS Roma’s hands. AS Roma’s defense is also blended with youth and experience: Panucci, Riise, Mexes, and Juan.

Arsenal are on a pretty good defensive run with only three goals conceded in their last nine games in all competitions, and Roma have just been humbled by Atalanta 3-0. But when the two teams meet, Arsenal’s vulnerability against set pieces is likely to give the edge here to AS Roma.

Midfield: Advantage Arsenal (very slightly)

To say that Arsenal are missing Cesc Fabregas and Theo Walcott would be an understatement. Unfortunately Andrei Arshavin is cup-tied, but Walcott should be back in contention for at least one of the two legs.

AS Roma’s midfield is packed with the experience of De Rossi and Perrotta, along with the youthful Aquilani. The key to giving Arsenal the advantage here is the return of Walcott down the right flank and the creative possibilities that ensue when Samir Nasri is deployed down the middle.

The pace of Arsenal’s counter-attack from midfield is likely to give a slight edge to the Gunners here, especially if Carlos Vela plays down the left flank.

Attack: Advantage Arsenal

Despite the experience of Totti, Vucinic, and Baptista, I would have to give the edge to Arsenal here. Robin Van Persie has been in fine form, scoring consistently of late. The return of Eduardo seems to have brought back the confidence in Arsenal’s forwards, and his predatory instincts in front of goal do not seem to have been hampered at all by his career-threatening injury a year ago.

Van Persie and Eduardo are likely to start with Adebayor missing, and Arsenal’s pace on attack is likely to be the key advantage especially if Walcott is barreling down the right in the second leg. Totti’s experience for Roma is likely to count for a lot, and if Gallas can handle his presence, AS Roma may find it difficult to create clear opportunities in the final third.

Goalkeeping: Advantage AS Roma

While Manuel Almunia has done well, he has still had his lapses of concentration during the season. For AS Roma, Alexander Doni hasn’t had a great season either, but he does have international experience with the Brazilian national side. It is a tough call to make, but Almunia may be at a slight disadvantage if it comes down to a penalty shootout (Jens Lehmann he most certainly is not).

Final Verdict: Arsenal to sneak through 3-2 on aggregate

A goal-fest might reasonably be expected, but the stakes are much higher than the group stage. A first leg two-goal advantage for any team is likely to be too much to catch up to.

A first leg 2-0 for Arsenal followed by a 2-1 for AS Roma at the Stadio Olimpico is likely to see Arsenal scrape through to yet another quarterfinal appearance in the Champions League.

Arsenal will know the importance of progressing in the Champions League, as it keeps the momentum created by the 12-game unbeaten run in all competitions going strong, and gets them closer to any kind of silverware.

Even if Arsenal don’t go on to win the Champions League (which they are not likely to), a victory over AS Roma will provide much needed confidence to take into the final third of the Premier League and latter stages of the FA Cup.

Is It Time For Michael Ballack to Pass on the German National Team's Captaincy?

Khalid Siddiqui — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 06:52:08 -0500

During the current decade, if German football has had an icon, it has to be Michael Ballack. His influence on the German national team has been even greater than that of Oliver Kahn. Along with Juergen Klinsmann, he formed one of the best captain-manager duos in international football in recent times.

Germany currently lies second in the FIFA World Rankings, but FIFA rankings may be a bit deceptive in the way that they are calculated. The German team's current situation can be attributed to the composition of the national team and the opposing force that Joachim Loew faces when trying to build a team for the future.

The German national team's game under Klinsmann at the 2006 FIFA World Cup was built on speed and counter-attacking flair. It saw them match the eventual World Champion Italians attack-for-attack in that memorable semi-final.

But since then, the German team seems to have lost the aura of invincibility. The nervous run in the group stages of Euro 2008—a loss to Croatia and a nervy 1-0 win against Austria—was followed by an almost perfect tactical performance against Portugal in the QF.

However, the Germans were lucky to scrape through the SF against a depleted Turkish side. So even though the Germans reached the final, their performance actually put into perspective their short-comings against the really good sides, when Spain exposed their vulnerabilities.

Since then, there has been a stop-start World Cup 2010 qualifying campaign—a nervy 3-3 draw against Finland and defeats against England and Norway in friendly matches.

The team's performance against Norway was devoid of any pace and penetration, and it looked like Germany may regress into their infamous slow-and-steady domination of possession mode.

Where do the problems lie for Germany?

Firstly, the relationship that Ballack had forged with Klinsmann has unfortunately not materialized in the same vein with Loew.

Secondly, the pace of the game tends to slow down as it seems that the German midfield does not have enough faith in its defense to push forward on a consistent basis.

Ballack and Loew

The German Football Federation is also in a conundrum whenever there are signs of a rift between captain and manager. It seems unable to choose which side to take. I believe it is the manager who should be "boss" for all practical purposes—especially when it comes to team selection.

If Ballack feels that Loew is disrespecting senior players (e.g. Torsten Frings) by not selecting them, he needs to sit back and think of when he benefited from a similar move by Klinsmann to name him captain in place of Oliver Kahn.

Then, Klinsmann did the unthinkable by overlooking Kahn in favour of Jens Lehmann as his No. 1 goalkeeper for the 2006 World Cup.

Joachim Loew may lack the charisma that Klinsmann has, but he is still the boss until the German Football Federation says so. No one player should be allowed to become bigger than the team itself. Ballack's recent performances have revealed his aging legs, and even at Chelsea, he is unable to justify his wages.

Ballack should focus on doing what is best for the team. I feel he is now better suited to coming on off the bench as an impact player for the German national team. That way, he can give his best for 20-25 minutes without slowing down the pace of the game. And no one can deny that his aerial threat does still exist on set pieces.

Who can take up the mantle?

The time is ideal for Loew to name Ballack's successor now. Klinsmann did it in similar circumstances while naming Ballack as Kahn's successor. Loew has tried various captains on a make-shift basis including Miroslav Klose, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Jens Lehmann, and Torsten Frings.

I feel that a team's best player in the midfield should be its captain—he is in constant contact with both the defenders and the forwards. Also, he should be someone who can pull out performances that motivate his team mates.

It is therefore, not entirely, ridiculous to envision Bastian Schweinsteiger wearing the captain's armband in the 2010 FIFA World Cup, if Germany qualifies. Schweinsteiger's performances speak for themselves.

He was instrumental in Germany's QF and SF wins in Euro 2008, and his talent was evident in the 2006 World Cup third-place game. He has already played 63 games for his country, while scoring 17 goals and providing numerous assists.

He is very much like Ballack was in his younger days—a drifting midfielder who can score from open play, create opportunities for team mates, and possesses an aggressive streak, which, perhaps, someone like Klose does not, despite his seniority.

If the "Mannschaft" is to qualify for the 2010 World Cup and do well there, it needs to return to the pacy—attacking football that Klinsmann gifted the fans in 2006. And even he did it with a team that was nowhere near as talented as the other teams in the World Cup QFs barring Ukraine.

Maybe a Loew-Schweinsteiger, manager-captain duo is the way forward. I'm one of the greatest fans of Ballack, but sometimes a player needs to be aware of his physical limitations as well as limitations on creating politics in a team dressing room.

Never underestimate the significance of team unity—an x-factor that can even cover up for lack of talent—at times.