Bleacher Report - Articles by Ian Thomson

Celebrating Manchester United's 18th Title With Houston's Red Army

Ian Thomson — Sun, 24 May 2009 18:13:41 -0400

Most people look forward to setting their alarm clock back a few hours at weekends, but long lie-ins are not a luxury enjoyed by devoted football fans across the United States.

Instead, millions of hardy souls gather in expatriate haunts from Santa Monica to Massachusetts every week to cheer on their favourite English Premiership teams.

As expected, the “Big Three” of Manchester United, Liverpool, and Arsenal garner most support, while Fulham attract a healthy following thanks to their recent penchant for American players.

Though modern-day fixture scheduling can be unsympathetic—brutal for those on the Pacific coast—there is a sadistic pleasure attached to following European football from North America.

Sure, there are occasions when you seriously question your sanity as you drive, half-asleep, down a deserted freeway at 5.30am on a Sunday morning, praying that the bar staff will arrive in time for kick-off.

But then comes the flip side—that euphoric, energising feeling as you tentatively emerge from a darkened tavern into blinding sunshine, realising that most of the day still lies ahead.

America’s Eastern and Central time zones benefit from this appeal save for the occasional inconvenience presented by Setanta’s lunchtime starts, as was the case last weekend when Manchester United sought one point against Arsenal to clinch a third successive Premiership title.

Not being a Setanta subscriber, I opted for the popular British-themed Richmond Arms in Houston’s Galleria district. Doors opened at 6am to welcome the first punters arriving for the anticipated title party.

Those quick enough to commandeer tables ordered traditional English breakfasts washed down with a refreshing first beer of the day.

A mixed crowd of Brits (the odd authentic Mancunian among them), Africans, and Americans—predominantly clad in United merchandise bearing the names of Ronaldo, Rooney, and Tevez—briefly found their voices as the teams took to the field.

Meanwhile, a cluster of Arsenal fans kept their counsel away from the main crowd, hovering around one of the smaller televisions, as the Gunners made a positive start.

Pub landlords can probably guarantee one inevitable outcome when broadcasting a game of this magnitude—satellite problems. The United fans’ angst was exacerbated by a number of pauses in the action as the main screen failed to perform under the pressure of the big occasion.

Thankfully the assembled patrons refrained from trashing the joint, as follow followers of another team once associated with Sir Alex Ferguson might have done.

As our host worked diligently to remediate the technical difficulties, a menu appeared listing obscure alternative channels like Belarus TV.

I doubt residents of the former Soviet state were displaying similar nervousness toward the game’s outcome—apparently the Manchester United 2009-10 Season Review DVD has been on sale in Minsk market squares for months, never mind this season’s offering.

Arsenal forward Andrey Arshavin made a promising early foray into the United penalty box, slaloming through a clutch of defenders and taking aim before the transmission froze once again.

It seemed an ideal moment for the BBC's former "A Question of Sport" host David Coleman to appear, posing the question: “What happened next?”

A nervy first half concluded with restored images but hushed surroundings as this particular Red Army outpost fretted over an uninspired showing by the champions-elect.

Still, the job was half-done. Another 45 minutes of defensive fortitude would see Fergie’s men retain their domestic crown regardless of whether his attackers discovered their trademark resplendence.

Confidence in the room returned as the second half commenced, helped by the bottles of champagne increasingly littering the tables. It was now 7.45am after all.

A few late stragglers appeared, and the effects of early-morning alcohol consumption created a livelier environment as United’s struggle to find their fluidity continued.

One Mancunian named Mike heightened the frequency and volume of singing as the unassailable 87-point mark loomed ever nearer. “U-N-I, T-E-D, United are the team for me”, he bellowed gustily before being joined in a cacophonous choir.

The lack of entertainment from this unusually languid encounter between the Premiership era’s eminent rivals faced competition from a more amusing game—Guess Whether the Song was Learned at Old Trafford or by Surfing the Internet.

While Mark and the handful of Lancastrians were indisputably in the former category, the majority clearly were not.

Still, the passion and enthusiasm displayed by American fans in their quest to embrace European football culture (brilliantly captured in Chuck Culpepper’s blithesome book “Bloody Confused!”) is to be commended, even if that culture cannot easily be replicated.

In the closing stages, one misguided fellow strayed beyond the comfort of “Glory Glory Man United” and succeeded only in butchering a staple of the Stretford End.

“This is what it’s like to be (Manchester) City, this is what it’s like to be small…” he warbled, oblivious to the original Inspiral Carpets classic with slightly differing lyrics. Madchester would be spinning in its grave.

United’s muted performance barely mattered as they held out for a scoreless draw and anxiety turned to elation in the Richmond Arms.

The astonishing might of Sky Sports was realised as a pub full of jubilant fans in Houston stood watching a section full of jubilant fans at Old Trafford, while off-camera a squad full of jubilant players paraded around the pitch with the Premiership trophy.

It appeared that Setanta’s deal did not include permission to broadcast the award ceremony. Oh well, time or another celebratory tipple.

So the 17th Premiership season concluded with United winning an astounding 11th title.

They have equalled Liverpool’s overall record of 18 despite trailing the Anfield club by seven points at New Year.

Liverpool have now gone 19 years without a league title…and counting.

These, Mr Benitez, are facts.

Didier Drogba in WWE Switch?

Ian Thomson — Fri, 08 May 2009 00:07:09 -0400

Chelsea's gravitationally challenged striker Didier Drogba is renowned for his comical over-selling of the slightest physical contact, which could explain recent rumours reaching Hawksport that the Ivorian has been plotting an escape to World Wrestling Entertainment.

Drogba has spent much of the last two years pining for a new career venture. His apathy toward life in England first surfaced in the wake of Jose Mourinho's ignominious dismissal by the London superclub following a dismal 1-1 draw with Rosenborg in 2007. Not even the 500 fans in attendance that night could save The Special One from The Oligarch.

Now it appears that the 31-year-old's latest attempt to impress WWE chairman Vince McMahon came during this week's Champions League semifinal tie with Barcelona.

After yet another Swan Lake-inspired tumble failed to con Norwegian referee Tom Henning Ovrebo, Drogba opted to channel his rage by perfecting his Spinaroonie—a move made famous by five time, five time, five time, five time, five time WCW Champion Booker T.

When asked his thoughts about being snubbed from the card at last month's Wrestlemania XXV, Drogba told Sky Sports reporters: "It's a disgrace. It's a disgrace. It's a f*ck*ng disgrace."

Eager to prove his worth, the Ivorian performed another Spinaroonie for the assembled press corps in his post-match interview before aiming a steely message at the megalomaniacal wrestling chairman.

An animated Drogba bellowed: "Can you dig it...SUCKAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?"

Following a Minority Sport in New York City

Ian Thomson — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:39:35 -0400

Football may be viewed as a minority sport in the U.S., but in a city as multicultural and monolithic as New York, there are hundreds of thousands of soccer fans following the action from Europe and South America every week.

The problem for Major League Soccer is getting those fans through the gates at New York Red Bulls matches.

The Red Bulls struggle to attract more than 15,000 fans to their home games despite inhabiting a greater metropolitan area of some 19 million people. It is a mark they achieved only six times in 16 fixtures last season.

Arena location does not help. Giants Stadium, the current abode shared with the NFL’s Giants and Jets, was built across the Hudson River on the swampy wastelands of East Rutherford, New Jersey.

Though only seven miles from Midtown Manhattan, the venue poses transportation challenges for many of the city’s vehicle-less residents…and tourists.

Sacrifices are easily made to watch the NFL, but not MLS. Not yet.

Unperturbed, I made the journey a fortnight ago to see the Red Bulls clinch an unflattering 2-0 win over Real Salt Lake—their first victory of the season. I wondered how many others would join me.

I set off from my hotel at 5.15, travel instructions printed from the Red Bulls’ website in hand, allowing plenty of time for a 7.30 kick-off.

Steps One and Two were a breeze as I strolled the three blocks to Penn Station and acquired a special $10 round-trip ticket covering the train and bus rides to the stadium.

By contrast, residents of Bronx, Brooklyn, or Queens firstly have to negotiate the city’s extensive transport network to arrive at Manhattan’s major rail hub. But there I was, ticket at the ready, scanning the departures board at 5.29, when major inconvenience reared its head.

Step Three involved taking a New Jersey-bound train to nearby Secaucus Junction. Plenty of trains cross under the river, but only one every hour was identified as stopping at Secaucus.

With 42 minutes to fill until the 6.11 to Dover, I wandered the station concourse looking for gathering throngs of exuberant soccer followers heading to the match. None appeared.

Instead, the platforms overflowed with New York Mets merchandise as fans returned home from an afternoon watching baseball at Citi Field.

I finally arrived at Secaucus station at 6.20 and embarked upon Stage Four—transferring to one of the buses heading for Giants Stadium. Within ten minutes, Stage Five was complete as I alighted in a vast but desolate parking lot.

Americans love to tailgate, but I could see no more than a dozen people enjoying a pre-game beer before entering the stadium confines.

Ticket prices are an appealing feature of MLS. I snapped up an excellent seat between the 18-yard and halfway lines—only ten rows from the front—for a mere $32 and settled down to see if Salt Lake could avenge their defeat in last season’s Western Conference Final.

Instead it took the hosts less than 100 seconds to go ahead. Nick Rimando could only parry a cross from Dane Richards and Senegalese striker Macoumba Kandji was on hand to thump the loose ball high beyond the prostrate goalkeeper.

The goal arrived too soon for many in attendance, including the stadium announcer who credited the goal to Richards.

Even legendary English commentator John Motson would struggle to confuse this pair given that, at 6”4”, Kandji towers over his diminutive teammate by almost an entire foot.

As regular attendees will testify, there is a level of banter among football crowds which cannot be rivalled at any other sporting event.

Not only has this humour survived the gentrification of many stadia—albeit in a watered-down format—but it exists in whichever country you watch the game. The U.S. is no different.

One typically brash New Yorker behind me filled the role of sarcastic, infuriated fan admirably, berating his team to the extent that his larynx risked permanent damage.

His shouts increased in frequency and volume after half-time when left-midfielder Khano Smith switched to our side of the field.

Smith, signed from New England in the close season to replace departed Dutchman Dave van den Bergh, has a long way to go to win over the Red Bulls’ support.

His every contribution or lack thereof provoked taunts from Mr. Infuriated Fan, who questioned everything from Smith’s work ethic to his parentage.

The pessimistic support poured further scorn on their team as Salt Lake seemed primed for an equaliser, with one victim known as “Deadweight” serving as another prime target.

The inevitable equaliser looked to have arrived when Yura Movsisyan’s deflected effort looped over Red Bulls’ goalkeeper John Conway toward an empty net, but defender Kevin Goldthwaite raced back to clear acrobatically from his goal-line.

My question had been answered.

“Hey, it’s Deadweight!” roared one fan as ironic cheers and chuckles engulfed the disbelieving section.

A moment of brilliance from Kandji on 57 minutes set up Juan Pablo Angel to give New York a two-goal cushion. It was a deficit that Salt Lake failed to reduce despite the dismissal of Red Bulls’ defender Jeremy Hall on 66 minutes.

By 9.40, five minutes after the full-time whistle, I was back on the shuttle bus to Secaucus, arriving at 10.00 for the 10.20 train back to Penn Station.

The slight delay caused my nostrils to fill with the putrid smell of the surrounding swamps as celebratory Red Bulls fans were joined by young revellers seeking the excitement and bright lights of a Saturday night in the Big Apple.

Overall, my journey had been seamlessly convenient. Then I learned that the attendance had been abysmally low—only 8,508 for New York’s second home game of the season.

Queuing for trains and buses would be an altogether more unpleasant experience if joined by another 30,000 fans.

For now, following a “minority sport” does have its advantages.

Fox Soccer Channel Needs To Step Up MLS Coverage

Ian Thomson — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 19:46:48 -0400

An irreverent look at FSC’s Game of the Week

Fox Soccer Channel announced last Monday that it had acquired the rights to broadcast the UEFA Champions League in the United States—a privilege held by ESPN since 1994.

FSC already provides extensive live coverage of English and Italian league matches, and is rightfully exalted for its promotion of soccer in North America, but the channel could provide a major boost to the league in its own backyard by improving its presentation of Major League Soccer.

Domestically, ESPN are blessed with the perceptiveness of former Sheffield Wednesday midfielder John Harkes who adds astute analysis to the experienced play-by-play commentary of J.P. Dellacamera.

The story is markedly different on FSC—as I was reminded during Saturday’s clash between Houston Dynamo and New York Red Bulls.

Commentators are efficacious when keeping a low profile. Soccer fans are largely a savvy crew with a deep knowledge of the game, meaning that perpetual chatter is not required—the game speaks for itself.

Cogent commentators enhance the viewing experience by punctuating the action with occasional facts, colourful statistics, or sound opinions on the tactical battle unfolding.

These are skills that FSC duo Max Bretos and Christopher Sullivan are a long way from mastering.

In fact, this duo could learn a lot from the punters on Sky Sports' Fanzone.

If there was a silver lining in the fourth minute collision between Red Bulls goalkeeper Danny Cepero and Dynamo forward Kei Kamara that saw the former depart the field with a concussion, it was that Bretos realised Cepero had been briefly keeping goal behind New York’s defence—the seemingly ubiquitous custodian having already been credited with a couple of smart saves from his own forwards some 110 yards away.

The perennially garrulous Sullivan shared his esteemed assessment of the incident and the medical team’s procedures.

What looked like two committed players throwing themselves bravely at Brad Davis’ inswinging free kick took on new light as he opined: “Kamara has to have a better coordination.” Quite.

“Christopher’s Keys” followed—a segment where the veteran of the USA’s 1990 World Cup team outlines his three strategies for both teams. Revelations need not apply.

Houston needed to “set the tone”—as the home team usually looks to do—while New York needed to “support the attack”—as any team usually looks to do.

Sullivan’s knack for depicting the obvious shone through when Juan Pietravallo was booked for a high kick into the face of Brad Davis. He informed viewers that: “This is a dangerous play. He kicks right into the face.”

What more that didn’t need to be said could be said?

As the first half continued, Sullivan treated his audience to his unique repertoire of soccer jargon. A forward making a yard of space to get a shot on goal makes a “separating movement”.

A wide midfielder skipping past the full-back makes a “little change of tempo to separate himself”. A counter-attack is a “transitional breakout”. Team-mates passing the ball around make a “transition”, occasionally known as a “collective transition”, or a “three-man combination” if involving a trio of team-mates.

Listening to his analysis reminds me of reading the Anthony Burgess novel A Clockwork Orange—for a while you have absolutely no idea what language you are absorbing.

Dynamo striker Brian Ching had a rare chance to excite demoralised viewers on 36 minutes when he raced clear on substitute Alec Dufty’s goal despite appearing to be at least five yards offside.

The U.S. international could only lob the ball over the approaching stand and into the adjacent car park as the stalemate continued.

A reason for the dismal nature of the opening period was offered by Sullivan. He said of Houston’s struggles: “It’s been very vertical…the wide points have been tight…no fluidity in the combination play.” Enlightening stuff.

The show was somewhat rescued at half-time by the slick studio presentation of Todd Grisham—well-schooled in dealing with pantomime from his alternative employment with World Wrestling Entertainment—but it didn’t take long for the deterioration to set in again.

“Christopher’s Keys” to the second half saw Houston now needing “Higher Pressure” instead of simply “Pressure”, while it was the Red Bulls’ turn to “manage the tempo”.

Ching benefited from commentators’ licence when his routine cutback was eulogised by Sullivan: “He separates himself and has the presence of mind to play that back on a diagonal.”

Unfortunately, his strike partner Kamara could not get on the end of the cross with one of his “slashing runs”.

Bleakness turned to liveliness in the final 15 minutes when referee Hilario Grajeda issued two red cards. New York midfielder Carlos Johnson was dismissed for a late tackle on Geoff Cameron, while Dynamo substitute Mike Chabala followed for a recklessly enthusiastic lunge in stoppage time.

It was a rare occasion where a CONCACAF official was spot on with his decisions, but Bretos seemed unconvinced of Johnson’s dismissal.

He said: “When I first saw the challenge, I thought it was definitely a foul…possibly a yellow card…possibly a red card.” Nothing like keeping your options open.

As Red Bulls head coach Juan Carlos Osorio looked to reshuffle having already made his three substitutions, Bretos had me wondering whether a new ruling had been adopted by MLS.

“Osorio still has some wiggle room”, he told the nation. “The first substitution will not count as it was an injury to the goalkeeper.”

The situation was clarified moments later as Bretos announced: “I do apologise. New York are out of substitutions.”

It is doubtful whether Sage Sullivan pointed out the error of his colleague’s ways.

So a dreadful game came to a close—the 0-0 scoreline thankfully sparing us from Bretos’ trademark “Yaaaaaaaaay” shouts when a goal is scored—but the disappointment did not end there.

Osorio—one of the league’s more cerebral, tactically astute coaches—sullied his reputation with unnecessary and childish gesticulations to the home fans referencing his team’s 3-0 win at Houston in last year’s MLS play-offs.

Not that Bretos saw fit to criticise Osorio’s actions, as he gleefully told viewers that it was “almost worth watching the whole game just to see that”.

Please Max, leave such observations in the playground in future.

This article first appeared on www.hawksport.com.

Seattle Sounds Out A Warning

Ian Thomson — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:51:39 -0400

Seattle—the Emerald City based in the Pacific Northwest, famed for coffee, grunge music, Pike Place Market, and the Space Needle—could soon be adding to its list of attractions with the name of Seattle Sounders FC.

Granted, we are only 90 minutes into the new Major League Soccer season, but the statement of intent laid down by Sigi Schmid’s expansion team in their 3-0 destruction of New York Red Bulls, last season’s beaten MLS Cup finalists, could not have been any more emphatic.

Scoring goals is the hardest part of the game, and players who have been cobbled together for a first tilt at America’s top level habitually struggle in this department.

San Jose Earthquakes took until their sixth game last year to notch their third goal. Toronto waited until their ninth game in 2007 to achieve the feat.

Seattle required a mere 75 minutes.

The outstanding performer on opening night was Colombian international Fredy Montero. The 21-year-old forward claimed last year’s Golden Boot award in his home country while playing for Deportivo Cali. He started his loan spell in MLS in a similar vein, with two impressive strikes.

Montero is exactly the sort of player that this league should be trying to attract; a young, raw, developing talent, reared in the soccer hotbed of South America, who is desperate to become established at the professional level.

The 32,523 fans that created a euphonic sea of green inside Qwest Field this evening were certainly excited by his repertoire of skills.

The hosts’ first meaningful attack on 11 minutes resulted in Montero opening the scoring.

Three players combined to work the ball across the face of New York’s penalty area, before Frenchman Sébastien Le Toux found Montero alone near the right corner of the box. The youngster steadied himself before steering a low drive beyond Red Bulls goalkeeper Danny Cepero’s despairing dive.

Nate Jaqua had a chance to double the lead four minutes later, when he launched his rangy frame at Sanna Nyassi’s cross, but the former Houston Dynamo striker saw his flick drift agonisingly beyond Cepero’s far post.

With the excitable 52-member Sound Wave marching band, created at the behest of part-owner Drew Carey, setting the tempo in the stands, the Sounders continued their lively offensive spell and made it 2-0 on 25 minutes.

Montero received a throw-in on the left before angling a precise reverse pass into the path of the on-rushing Brad Evans.

The former Columbus midfielder burst into the penalty area undetected and drilled his low shot through the legs of the wretchedly exposed Cepero.

New York were now in disarray after looking the more composed outfit in the opening 10 minutes. Even during their promising start, the Red Bulls were stifled in the final third by the industry of Seattle’s midfield.

When the Sounders regained possession, they quickly piled three or four players into New York’s penalty area to leave the visitors’ back line overwhelmed.

Red Bulls head coach Juan Carlos Osorio tried to stem the green tide by replacing the embattled Andrew Boyens with Jeremy Hall on 34 minutes.

Siniša Ubiparipović, Osorio's swamped defensive midfielder, lasted until half-time before making way for Danleigh Borman.

The pattern in the second half remained consistent, despite Osorio’s reorganising, as Seattle asphyxiated any attempted Red Bull charges. This particular brand of energy drinks supposedly gives its consumers wings, but it was the men from a city renowned for its coffee companies that appeared to be infused with a caffeine rush.

Londoner Steve Zakuani, the first pick in January’s Superdraft of college players, made his professional debut when he replaced the zestful Nyassi on 68 minutes. He almost scored with his first touch four minutes later.

Montero’s legerdemain saw him wriggle free from two New York players on the right flank before releasing Evans on the overlap. His low cross was deflected behind Zakuani, but the former Arsenal youth player still forced Cepero to make a smart save from his shot on the turn.

New York inflicted further damage upon themselves on 75 minutes when Mike Petke dwelled on the ball just inside his own half. Montero quickly seized upon the defender’s poor touch to steal possession and race clear on Cepero.

A confident shimmy by Montero sent the goalkeeper to ground before the Colombian cemented his Man of the Match display with a composed finish high into the top corner.

All that remained was for Schmid to withdraw his ace in injury time to allow the fervent home support to roar their appreciation. Even they could not have envisioned such an impressive start.

The pleasant surprise led to chants of “We’re so good it’s unbelievable,” as the referee brought proceedings to a close and fireworks lit up the night sky.

If this is the shape of things to come in MLS in 2009—with the addition of franchises in Philadelphia, Vancouver, and Portland in the next two years—then North American soccer fans are in for a real treat.

Major League Soccer 2009 Preview

Ian Thomson — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:10:33 -0400

Predicting the Major League Soccer champions days before the new season begins is an unenviable task. Firstly, strict roster restrictions and salary caps guarantee a certain level of parity among the league’s 15 franchises. Secondly, huge uncertainty exists around which players will be available for the entire campaign—flourishing performances can attract summer transfers to Europe, while American expatriates failing to make the grade abroad or nearing the end of their careers may be making the opposite journey. Thirdly, MLS does not adjourn for international dates—this is especially relevant in 2009 with ongoing World Cup qualification and the CONCACAF Gold Cup tournament taking place, as well as the U.S. team’s participation in June’s Confederations Cup. Finally, as New York Red Bulls showed last year, anything can happen when it comes to the post-season play-offs. Columbus Crew suffered three seasons of purgatory before rebounding to the top of the regular season table and lifting MLS Cup last year. Real Salt Lake fell agonisingly short of appearing in that final having also turned around three seasons of woe to mount a title challenge. In this year’s Western Conference, I’m going for seasoned campaigners Houston Dynamo to reclaim their crown with Real Salt Lake as their closest challengers. In the East, another Conference Final between Columbus Crew and Chicago Fire could be on the cards but with a different outcome. Come November 22 at Seattle’s Qwest Field, I’ll take Houston to clinch their third MLS Cup in four seasons over Cuauhtemoc Blanco and his Chicago teammates. Here is a look at this year’s title contenders, play-off hopefuls, and helpless stragglers.

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Adrian Heath's Austin Aztex Prepare For USL Debut

Ian Thomson — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:44:29 -0400

Austin Aztex, the newest professional team in the U.S., continued their preparations for their inaugural season in the United Soccer Leagues First Division—North America’s second tier behind Major League Soccer—with a spirited 2-2 draw against Texas rivals Houston Dynamo last weekend.

Formed in 2008, the Aztex organisation has quickly assembled a squad which stands every chance of being competitive when the 11-team USL-1 season kicks off on April 18.

The club is owned by Stoke City board member Phil Rawlins, an Englishman based in the Texas state capital, and the two teams have a formal partnership which will see the Aztex acting as a potential source for future Potters players.

Further links between the teams run deeper than Austin’s adoption of red-and-white jerseys. Manager Adrian Heath is best remembered for his trophy-laden Everton days in the mid-1980’s but he was born in the Stoke area and started his career at the old Victoria Ground.

Heath has bolstered his fledgling squad of young American talent with four players from England’s lower leagues, the most notable being another former Stoke man Gifton Noel-Williams.

The Aztex will play their home games at Nelson Field; a humble 8,800 seated high school stadium that promises to unsettle visiting teams.

The two-sided ground lies adjacent to the main highway running eastbound to Houston and its open ends create a wind tunnel which, compounded by the artificial surface and dominating presence of American football lines, adds complexity to the simplest of tasks.

As with any new business, attracting customers in the opening months and retaining their loyalty thereafter is paramount to building future success. Rawlins will be pleased that the 4,177 fans in attendance last week—albeit a sizeable chunk making the 160-mile trip from Houston—were treated to an entertaining game.

The travelling El Batallón and Texian Army supporter groups did their part to create a lively atmosphere while Austin’s stadium announcer enlightened the novices among the home crowd with frequent updates on the action.

Hopefully he won’t be required to trumpet every “Corner to Austin” for too long.

The enthusiasm in Heath’s side was evident from the first whistle as the two-time MLS champions struggled for time on the ball.

Despite some slick play by Dynamo midfielders Brad Davis and Stuart Holden, the Aztex struck first on 21 minutes when Noel-Williams released Sullivan Silva down the right to score the club’s first ever goal.

An exuberant Silva sprinted to the West Stand to be embraced by fans and team-mates alike while our trusty announcer did his best to sour the historic moment by blasting DJ Ötzi over the tannoy.

An amusing indicator of the highly-professionalised approach ingrained in American fitness methods was provided when Silva emerged from the ruck. There was no card-happy referee laying in wait to punish his over-elaborate celebrations; rather the team physio demanding that he sup from a water bottle to replenish lost fluids.

Sadly for Silva he was to become better acquainted with the physio minutes later after limping out of the game.

Brian Mullan restored parity for the visitors on 34 minutes before Noel-Williams’ ebullience saw him dismissed following a second caution for a hard challenge on Holden. In truth, it was a harsh decision and one of many abysmal calls made by the match officials.

Dynamo head coach Dominic Kinnear came to the aid of his opponents by asking the referee to allow Heath to introduce a substitute in place of his fallen captain.

Kinnear said afterwards: “We wanted to play against eleven. It’s an exhibition so it doesn’t do either team any good to play with a man down.”

Austin received further assistance in first half stoppage time courtesy of a unique officiating gaffe.

Former Dynamo reserve Kyle Brown’s effort was thwarted on the goal-line by young goalkeeper Tally Hall.

Dynamo captain Wade Barrett reached the rebound ahead of Eddie Johnson, but his attempts to clear were derailed when the former Manchester United trainee clearly bundled him and the ball into the net.

As the referee ran to the six-yard line signalling a direct free kick, the opportunistic Johnson wheeled away in delight towards the same section of the crowd while Austin’s players again joined the melee.

Still our esteemed officials waited before realising nobody was paying attention to them. With “Pump up the Volume” by M/A/R/R/S now filling the night sky, the referee simply cut his losses and trekked back to the halfway line.

Kinnear made wholesale changes at the interval with only one outfield player reappearing, but his reserves drew level on 47 minutes when trialist Eric Quill completed the scoring.

Kei Kamara looked to have won the game for Houston when he rounded goalkeeper Miguel Gallardo and found the net, only to be denied by another bizarre refereeing decision.

Gallardo was adjudged to have deliberately handled the ball outside his penalty area as he failed to deny the Sierra Leone international. Play was pulled back in any case—Houston were rewarded with a free kick; Gallardo went unpunished.

From then on the Aztex backroom staff became the busiest people in the ground. Waiting substitutes received thorough muscle rubs to prepare them for action while those being replaced were diligently checked by the physio before being put through their warm-down paces by the fitness guru.

At first glance, the rigorously attentive preparation off the field allied with a combative, enthusiastic spirit from his players suggests that Heath can look forward to a promising opening campaign.

Whether the team’s successes or failures are debated in the city’s famed Sixth Street bars or not...well, that may have to wait another few years.

Mexican Domination Continues in CONCACAF

Ian Thomson — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 17:19:38 -0400

The inaugural CONCACAF Champions League quarter-finals took place this past week with Mexican teams continuing their dominance of the region’s premier cross-border club prize.

In 43 years of the antecedent Champions’ Cup tournament, Mexican clubs lifted the trophy on 24 occasions.

Atlante, Cruz Azul, and Santos Laguna remain alive this year in a draw that increasingly resembles last season’s UEFA tournament when it took English teams to eliminate English teams.

Mexico’s only casualty so far are Universidad Nacional—2-0 aggregate losers to Cruz Azul in the quarter-finals.

The semi-finals see Santos Laguna hosting Atlante while Cruz Azul travel to meet Puerto Rico Islanders—an unlikely opponent from United Soccer Leagues First Division, the second tier of professional soccer in North America.

Puerto Rico, along with their USL adversaries Montreal Impact, have breathed life into an otherwise stale competition that has failed to gather the public’s interest.

The Islanders, under the guidance of former Northern Ireland striker Colin Clarke, qualified for the first time in their six-year history via the Caribbean Championship.

Clarke’s men caused a huge shock in the preliminary round by defeating Costa Rican powerhouse Alajuelense 3-2 on aggregate—a team that won the Champions’ Cup as recently as 2004.

Their successful run continued when, after narrowly emerging from the group stages, they prevailed 3-1 on aggregate against Marathón of Honduras to reach the last four.

The Irishman has had mixed experiences in his managerial career in the U.S. over the last decade with abrupt stints at a number of lower level clubs.

His sole MLS appointment at FC Dallas ended in dismay at the end of 2006 when he was dismissed for failing to translate three years of promising regular season form into playoff success.

In two years with the Islanders, Clarke has transformed a team of USL also-rans into championship contenders. They finished top of the regular season table last year before losing the play-off title decider 2-1 against Vancouver Whitecaps.

Clarke’s popularity with the natives has escalated to the point that he now combines his club role with that of Puerto Rican national team manager.

Montreal appeared certain to become the second USL team to reach the semi-finals when they took a 2-1 half-time lead against Santos Laguna in Torreón to build a 4-1 aggregate advantage.

Santos’ Argentine striker Matias Vuoso scored twice as Montreal dangerously retreated toward their own penalty area, but the hosts still needed two goals as normal time expired.

Unbelievably, Colombian international Carlos Quintero supplied the required strikes in the third and fourth minutes of injury time to complete an amazing turnaround as the Canadians shriveled under relentless pressure.

Despite such a cruel exit, the entire Montreal soccer community can be proud of their team’s progression to the quarter-finals.

While the tournament has been characterised by feeble attendances, Impact have impressed with average crowds approaching 20,000 for their five home games—almost 7,000 higher than any other club.

Their first leg encounter with Santos Laguna was switched from their 13,034 capacity Stade Saputo to the adjacent Olympic Stadium to meet unprecedented demand for tickets—a staggering 55,571 fans inspired a 2-0 win for the 2008 Canadian Cup winners.

Montreal were in the running for one of two MLS expansion slots being granted in 2011. Liverpool co-owner George Gillett expressed his interest in jointly investing with club owner Joey Saputo, but the bid was rescinded last November stating concerns around meeting the necessary capital requirements in the current economic environment.

The success of the two USL clubs proved to be an acute embarrassment for Major League Soccer. New England Revolution and Chivas USA stumbled against weak opposition in the preliminary round, while D.C. United limped to a single point from six group games—the lowest of all 16 teams.

Houston Dynamo soldiered on as the sole MLS flag-bearers until being dismantled by Atlante in the second leg of their quarter-final. After conceding a late equaliser in the 1-1 draw at Robertson Stadium, the Dynamo travelled to Cancún looking for their first ever win on Mexican soil.

Woeful defending quickly shattered that possibility as Atlante strolled to a 3-0 win.

MLS and USL teams are severely hampered at this stage of the tournament as their respective seasons have yet to commence.

Puerto Rico’s league season starts on April 18, at which point the Mexican Clausura championship will be in Round 14 of 17.

Should the Islanders manage to reach the two-legged Champions League final, the first leg will be played four days after their league opener with Vancouver.

Four of the previous seven CONCACAF finals have been all-Mexican affairs. Despite the heroics of Clarke’s team, another such occasion seems highly likely.

Melbourne-Adelaide: Melbourne Captures Title, While Adelaide Regain Pride

Ian Thomson — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:23:51 -0500

Melbourne Victory completed a clean sweep of Australia’s domestic titles last Saturday with a narrow 1-0 win over Adelaide United in the Hyundai A-League Grand Final.

The Victory’s second championship follows on from their success in the Pre-Season Challenge Cup last August and the Premiership title earned by finishing first in the 21-game regular season standings.

A near-capacity crowd of 53,273 inside Melbourne’s Telstra Dome saw Tom Pondeljak score the only goal of a tense game on 60 minutes.

The defeat was harsh on the unfancied visitors—resoundingly written off after being thrashed 6-0 on aggregate by Melbourne in an earlier playoff round—especially given their dogged perseverance with 10 men for the majority of the match.

Only eight minutes had elapsed when Cristiano contested an aerial challenge with Melbourne centre back Rodrigo Vargas.

Both men seemed firmly focused on the ball as they collided innocuously before Vargas tumbled to the ground with blood streaming from a cut above his right ear.

Referee Matthew Breeze briefly delayed to consult with his assistant before producing a red card for Adelaide’s stunned Brazilian striker.

Replays showed the clash to be purely accidental, but the cosmetic damage suffered by the unfortunate Vargas—not to mention the vociferously animated remonstrations of Victory captain Kevin Muscat—undoubtedly influenced the officials’ decision.

Adelaide made a positive start despite having to return to a venue which holds so many recent traumatic experiences for them.

Four teams qualify for the A-League postseason, with the league’s top two sides meeting in a two-legged Major Final to decide who will host the Grand Final. That meant a tie between these two southern rivals after Melbourne clinched the regular season title on goal difference from Adelaide.

Goals from Costa Rican international Carlos Hernandez and former Manchester City striker Danny Allsopp gave Victory an assured 2-0 win at Adelaide’s Hindmarsh Stadium on February 7.

The rout was sealed seven days later with a 4-0 win at the Telstra Dome, giving an aggregate score which evoked memories of the 2007 Grand Final in Melbourne when Archie Thompson slayed Adelaide with five goals in a humiliating 6-0 rout.

The Reds enjoyed a successful run to the Asian Champions League final last November—an achievement which saw them participate in the following month’s Club World Cup—but further glory looked unattainable in the aftermath of their insipid Major Final second leg defeat.

Manager Aurelio Vidmar launched an impassioned, if misplaced, rant in the direction of everyone bar himself or his players in the aftermath of the defeat, saying: “Politics, that’s what I put it down to. There are too many people in this club with hidden agendas.

“Whether you are involved directly or indirectly you have an effect. Because of a piss-ant town, this club will never win anything until you get rid of that crap.”

He could easily have pointed the finger at any number of his listless defenders, particularly the calamitous Macedonian Saša Ognenovski, or his diffident midfielders.

After two days of apologising and patching up his differences with the club’s directors, Vidmar turned his attention towards earning a shot at redemption by seeing off Queensland Roar—winners of the Minor Final between the league’s third and fourth placed teams.

A stunning strike by Fabian Barbiero was enough to ensure Adelaide’s daunting return to the Telstra Dome.

Despite the pre-match obituaries—further compelled by the early dismissal—Vidmar’s men showed formidable resolve and stifled Melbourne’s dangerous attacking trio of Thompson, Allsopp, and chief orchestrator Hernandez.

Indeed, Adelaide had two excellent chances to take the lead shortly after the interval, but they were denied by Victory goalkeeper Michael Theoklitos.

Firstly, the impressive former Bolton Wanderers trainee Scott Jamieson contrived to hit Theoklitos from six yards out with an empty net gaping.

Soon afterwards captain Travis Dodd dribbled past three Melbourne defenders before steering a tame finish straight at the goalkeeper.

Adelaide were made to pay for those misses on the hour mark as Pondeljak curled his right-foot shot beyond the despairing dive of Eugene Galeković.

After putting up such stout resilience, it was a rather simple and unexpected goal for Adelaide’s defence to concede.

A late flurry of desperate attacking by the visitors proved fruitless, and so the curtain fell on the fledgling A-League’s fourth campaign with Melbourne deservedly taking the honours.

At least Adelaide can hold their heads high once again after pushing their rivals all the way.

United Victory over Inter Milan Far from a Foregone Conclusion

Ian Thomson — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 23:37:46 -0500

Manchester United’s stirring performance in the San Siro on Tuesday night has provoked two polarised views of who will progress to the Champions League quarterfinals.

One view has the Red Devils winning comfortably after pummelling Internazionale in their back yard for most of the first leg. The other has the Italians sneaking through on away goals.

Jose Mourinho rates his side’s chances as “50-50”—for once he may be worth listening to.

Since the inception of the re-branded Champions League in 1992-93, 76 first leg ties from all knock-out matches (including preliminaries) have ended goalless.

On 54 occasions, the away team from the first leg won the return game on home soil. Statistically speaking, Mourinho’s side have marginally less than a one-in-three shot.

Of those 76 ties, however, Manchester United have been away from home in the first leg on three occasions. Only once have they progressed.

Sir Alex Ferguson’s cavalier attacking approach may provide compelling entertainment for those famed European nights at Old Trafford, but his teams have had a tendency to fall victim to clinical counter-attacking over the years.

In 1998, David Trezeguet’s early strike saw Monaco triumph on away goals after a 1-1 draw at Old Trafford.

In 2000, United’s celebrated treble-winners were dethroned by Real Madrid as Argentine midfielder Fernando Redondo inspired a commanding 3-2 victory.

United’s sole success came in last season’s semi-final against Barcelona when Paul Scholes settled a nervy tie with a typical long-range drive. Lionel Messi drove the Catalans forward in search of that crucial away goal, but United survived.

Inter have never travelled to a second leg after a scoreless home game, but their overall record in away games during knock-out rounds is far from impressive.

They have won only twice in 14 ties and those were in preliminary matches—at Skonto Riga in 1998-99 and Shakhtar Donetsk in 2005-06.

Mourinho has mixed experiences of such occasions. His Porto team triumphed 1-0 at Deportivo La Coruña in the 2004 semi-final, but Chelsea were undone a year later by Luis Garcia’s controversial early winner at Anfield as Liverpool prevailed in a titanic struggle.

United will be favourites to go through—they are the holders and world champions after all—but as Liverpool, Milan, and Porto have shown in recent seasons, the best team is never guaranteed to prevail.

Landon and Bayern Struggle As Hertha Goes Top

Ian Thomson — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 19:59:09 -0500

Landon Donovan suffered an afternoon of frustration as Hertha Berlin moved to the Bundesliga summit with a 2-1 win over Bayern Munich on Saturday.

The on-loan Los Angeles Galaxy striker received an unexpected call-up from the bench after 35-minutes when Luca Toni limped off with an Achilles problem, but Donovan failed to shine as Bayern struggled to involve their front line.

Hertha took the lead three minutes after Donovan’s introduction with a goal directly attributable to the negligence of Christian Lell. The Bayern fullback needlessly conceded possession in midfield with an unnecessary cross-field switch, which found Hertha’s Patrick Ebert free on the right flank.

Ebert advanced towards the Bayern penalty area before hoisting a speculative deep cross which the recovering Lell badly misjudged. Andriy Voronin nipped in to steer a header beyond goalkeeper Michael Rensing from eight yards.

Donovan had his first sight of goal on 54-minutes when Zé Roberto’s in swinging cross-found him with a yard of space near the penalty spot.

His header was denied by a brilliant diving stop by Jaroslav Drobný. The Czech goalkeeper recovered quickly to thwart Miroslav Klose’s follow-up as Bayern finally began to threaten.

Aside from the energetic Franck Ribery, Bayern were stale in midfield and lacked the desire to push ahead of the ball.

Manager Jürgen Klinsmann put Lell out of his misery at 58-minutes as Tim Borowski was introduced to shake up his team’s core. The change brought instant dividends as Bayern drew level 61-minutes in.

Lucio strode forward before firing a viciously swerving 35-yard attempt at goal.

Drobný could only parry the Brazilian defender’s effort down to the feet of Bastian Schweinsteiger, but he recovered brilliantly to deny the German International with a wondrous reflex save.

As four Bayern players closed in, Drobný palmed the loose ball away from Schweinsteiger, but only into the path of the onrushing Miroslav Klose who bundled home an untidy equalizer.

Ribery sought to console the beleaguered goalkeeper after his commendable display of resilience, but he seemed uninterested. He was entitled to expect better assistance from his momentarily inattentive back line.

Donovan had a second opportunity to find the net at the 71-minute mark when he was sent clear on the left by Ribery. The sprawling Drobný blocked his low shot.

Although, neither of his openings had been clear-cut, the American international would have expected to score one of his two chances.

To the delight of the majority of the 74,228 crowds in Berlin’s Olympiastadion, the hosts made him pay for that miss at 77-minutes with a game-winner of the highest quality.

Hertha launched a quick break from deep inside their half with Brazilian, Raffael, advancing towards Bayern’s retreating backline.

Voronin displayed textbook movement in eluding his marker Lucio and timing his diagonal run to perfection, allowing Raffael to slip an immaculately weighted pass into the path of the on-loan Liverpool striker.

The Ukrainian buried his first time effort beyond Rensing to seal a momentous and richly deserved victory.

Hertha leap-frogged Bayern and Hoffenheim—thrashed 4-1 at home to Bayer Leverkusen on Friday—to take pole position, with Martin Jol’s vastly improved Hamburg also firmly in contention one point behind the new leaders.

With Drobný in spellbinding form, a recall to the Czech national team may be on the horizon—especially given the continuing fragility of Chelsea’s highly over-rated Petr Čech.

As for Bayern, Donovan will likely receive his first start in next week’s clash with Köln.

His chances of earning a permanent deal will be greatly enhanced if he can make an impact.

After 2-0 Victory, USA on The Way To South Africa While Mexico Falters

Ian Thomson — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 11:59:11 -0500

The fourth and final round of CONCACAF’s convoluted World Cup qualifying process began last week with six remaining nations competing for three automatic places in next summer’s Finals. Recent protocol suggests that the USA and Mexico easily progress along with one other, but this year’s tournament could bring a shock to the region.

Team USA could not have wished for a better start to their campaign as they cruised to a comfortable 2-0 win over Sven-Goran Eriksson’s misfiring Mexican team. While the road to South Africa looks clear for the Stars and Stripes, the Federación Mexicana de Fútbol has reached a crossroads—whether they continue onwards or seek a change of direction remains to be seen.

There was much to be admired in the opening game from an American perspective. Faced with the prospect of a hostile atmosphere on home soil—so often the case in big city stadiums where large numbers of passionate immigrants out-sing and outnumber American fans—the US Soccer Federation opted to play this fixture in the intimate confines of Columbus Crew’s 23,000-seat Crew Stadium.

Freezing Mid-West temperatures added a second discomforting factor for the visitors to contend with—they failed dismally to rise to the challenge.

After Tim Howard had produced a significant third-minute stop to deny Tottenham’s teenage striker Giovani Dos Santos, the hosts seized control of the game. Rangers’ winger DaMarcus Beasley justified the faith shown in him by manager Bob Bradley with a stirring performance on the left flank which belied his inactivity at Ibrox.

His efforts were matched on the opposite touchline by the industry of Fulham’s Clint Dempsey, while Bradley’s son Michael further showcased his goalscoring ability from a deep-lying central midfield role with strikes in the closing minutes of each half.

The 21-year-old gained prominence last season with 16 goals for unfashionable Heerenveen in the Dutch Eredivisie. That was enough to earn a move to Borussia Mönchengladbach last summer, but this season has been a struggle for Bradley as the former Bundesliga powerhouse fights for survival in Germany’s top flight in their first season back after a brief stint in the second division. Bradley’s selection has attracted accusations of nepotism in the past, but the denunciations will surely end after this fine display.

One minor disappointment for the US was the performance of recent Celtic trialist Sacha Kljestan alongside Bradley in the centre of midfield, but even this should have a silver lining. Kljestan notched a hat-trick—his first goals for his country—in last month’s 3-2 friendly win over a shadow Sweden squad, and he has become an established figure in the national team following his impressive displays during last August’s Olympic Games—notably in a 2-2 draw with fancied Holland. This, however, was his first taste of international football at the highest level.

The 23-year-old Californian was guilty of surrendering possession far too easily on far too many occasions, but he will learn from his mistakes. Coach Bradley’s risky decision to select the Chivas USA player ahead of Houston Dynamo’s reliable holding man Ricardo Clark did not backfire and the experience gained by Kljestan will help in developing his potential as one of the team’s pivotal playmakers in the run-up to next summer.

Kljestan’s hopes of a transfer to the SPL champions may have been dashed by the Parkhead club’s unwillingness to meet Major League Soccer’s lofty valuation, but a move to Europe in the near future remains likely.

By contrast, the future for Eriksson’s side appears less than rosy. Their cause was not helped on 65 minutes when, already trailing to Bradley’s scrambled opener, skipper Rafael Marquez committed a heinous challenge on Tim Howard. He was rightfully dismissed.

It is not the first time the Barcelona defender has let his country down in this fixture. He was sent off in the closing minutes of their 2002 World Cup encounter in South Korea for a similar assault on Cobi Jones as the US again won 2-0.

The captain’s act of folly could not have been more ill-timed with Mexico pushing hard for an equaliser. Seconds earlier, Dos Santos had contrived to miscue his volley from Pavel Pardo’s free-kick across the face of Howard’s goal before failing to divert the returned ball into an empty net from one yard out. Marquez launched his attack on the Everton goalkeeper as he gathered the subsequent cross into the penalty area.

Mexico’s misconduct did not end there. Assistant coach Paco Ramirez struck Frankie Hejduk with a petulant slap as the players made their way to the dressing rooms, but to the American right-back’s great credit he ignored the provocation.

Eriksson’s greatest failing during his time with England was his reluctance to curtail the self-absorbed indulgences of his star players. Unless he can quickly instill a sense of discipline into his current squad he may be heading for an even quicker exit than the one he experienced with Manchester City.

Despite reaching their highest ever FIFA ranking of fourth less than three years ago, Mexico are fortunate to remain in contention at this point. Three home wins in the previous round were undermined by defeats away to Jamaica and group-winning Honduras. Ultimately, a second half equaliser in Canada sealed a 2-2 draw which was enough to see them sneak through ahead of the Reggae Boyz on goal difference.

Three further defeats in friendlies, including last month’s loss to the unfamiliar Swedes, have heaped the pressure on Eriksson. Next up is a vital double-header at the end of March: firstly Costa Rica visit the famed Estadio Azteca in Mexico City before El Tri head back to Honduras for what could be a make-or-break tie.

Anything less than four points could result in the former England manager being relieved of his employment.

U.S. Soccer: A Kljestan Of Time

Ian Thomson — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:17:42 -0500

There was much to be admired in the USA’s 2-0 win over Mexico in their World Cup qualifier last night—a passionate pro-American crowd in Columbus, another authoritative display by Tim Howard, Frankie Hedjuk’s insatiable appetite to attack, the craft of DaMarcus Beasley on the left flank, the industry of Clint Dempsey on the right, and, of course, the goalscoring exploits of Michael Bradley.

If there was one disappointment, it was the performance of Sacha Kljestan. The Chivas midfielder’s effort was highly commendable, but he was guilty of surrendering possession far too easily on far too many occasions. But even this negative will have a silver lining for head coach Bob Bradley in the coming months.

Kljestan is one of a number of young American players to have impressed me during my two years following Major League Soccer. A work trip to the West Coast in August 2007 allowed me to attend a SuperClasico where Kljestan inspired Chivas to a 3-0 whipping of L.A. Galaxy with his field coverage, his intelligent counter-attacking, and his acute passing—traits which he continues to hone.

The 23-year-old Californian made his international debut two months prior to that match in a 4-1 friendly win over China before gaining valuable experience as a member of Bradley’s experimental Copa America squad that summer.

He received minimal playing time as a substitute over the next year, but his impressive displays for the US Olympic Team in China last August, particularly in the 2-2 draw with fancied Holland, saw him emerge as a regular starter in CONCACAF’s previous qualifying round.

Last night, however, heralded a huge step-up in opposition.

Kljestan entered the game full of confidence after training with Celtic in January before returning to notch a hat-trick—his first international goals—in the 3-2 friendly win over Sweden. His hopes of a permanent transfer were thwarted by the Glasgow club’s unwillingness to match MLS’ valuation of the player, but a move to Europe in the near future remains probable.

Coach Bradley took a risk in selecting Kljestan ahead of the tried and trusted Ricardo Clark, Houston Dynamo’s combative holding midfielder, but the collective spirit of his Stars and Stripes team ensured that the gamble did not backfire.

For Kljestan, he now knows what it is like to play at the highest level. The experience will stand him, and the US, in good stead for this summer’s Confederations’ Cup and hopefully in next summer’s World Cup Finals.

This article first appeared on www.hawksport.com.

David Beckham: Good, but Not That Good

Ian Thomson — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:48:59 -0500

On Monday’s Fox Football Fone-In show in the US, regular Milan-based guest Hyder Jawad gave a refreshing take on David Beckham’s tenure in Serie A by describing it as no more than ordinary.

Having watched Beckham’s six games in their entirety rather than relying on the viewpoints peddled by the Associated Press, I am in full agreement.

Beckham has surprised everyone, himself included, with his form since debuting on Jan. 11. He has slotted comfortably into the Rossoneri’s star-studded lineup despite the obvious problems for foreign players arriving in a new country, like adapting to a new environment and overcoming the language barrier.

While most observers envisaged the on-loan Los Angeles Galaxy man being little more than a bit-part player during his three-month stay, a window of opportunity opened when Gennaro Gattuso tore a cruciate ligament last December.

Ancelotti entrusted Beckham with a starting berth at Roma, but the formidable Brazilian duo of Kaká and Alexandre Pato stole the show, the latter scoring twice in a 2-2 draw. Beckham performed conservatively by keeping his passes short, simple, and unspectacular.

The pattern has continued. Beckham’s play remains cautious, dictated by a fear of conceding possession. The majority of his passes remain routine, shifting possession inside to Andrea Pirlo or wide to the rampaging right-back Gianluca Zambrotta.

Genoa goalkeeper Rubinho was caught out by a wily free-kick in the 1-1 draw on Jan. 28, but his set pieces and deliveries from wide areas have largely been disappointing. Pato and Kaká have many outstanding qualities, but rising above central defenders to attack crosses is not one of them.

The Genoa game came three days after Beckham notched his first goal, having been given the freedom of Emilia-Romagna to top off a 4-1 win against a bedraggled 10-man Bologna. It marked his best performance to date, although he wilted in the final 30 minutes as the Grifone pressed for a deserved equaliser.

Beckham’s army of sycophants turned up the volume after his two “assists” in the 3-0 win at Lazio on Feb. 1.

The first pass for Pato, a square ball across the penalty box after both players had been left in acres of space by Lazio’s faltering off-side trap, would have been made by any player in the Milan squad. The second, a routine set play hoisted towards the back post, owed everything to the tenacity of Massimo Ambrosini, as the Italian midfielder evaded his marker to power a header beyond Fernando Muslera.

Otherwise, it was another inconspicuous afternoon for the Englishman.

Overall, Beckham has done okay. He certainly has not looked out of place, nor has he resembled the second coming of Maradona circa 1986 as some would have you believe.

For all the plaudits being showered upon him, he has performed no better than fellow midfielders Pirlo, Clarence Seedorf, or the scandalously underrated vice-captain Ambrosini.

On the Plus Side...

Should Milan and Beckham, as seems increasingly likely, obtain their wish in prying the player out of his five-year contract with Major League Soccer:

1) MLS fans will no longer have to stomach the insipid, lifeless performances served up on a weekly basis by a patronising and plainly-uninterested $50 million-a-year man.

2) The millions who brazenly champion England’s “best league in the world” might take a greater interest in Serie A, discovering in the process that Calcio offers infinitely greater aesthetic talent than the dire fare served up on a weekly basis by the likes of Bolton, Blackburn, Middlesbrough, and Stoke.

This article first appeared on www.hawksport.com.