Bleacher Report - Articles by Andrew Palumbo

NBA Finals: What's YOUR Favorite Moment?

Andrew Palumbo — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 08:37:23 -0400

It seems only fitting that the NBA's 2007-08 renaissance season ends with a familiar result:

The Boston Celtics vs. The Los Angeles Lakers

Pro basketball's most storied rivalry between its two most successful franchises has been restored during a season which has rapidly drawn casual observers and fans back to its base.

No longer is the NBA the red-headed stepchild (I apologize ahead of time to any gingers from nontraditional families...just turning a phrase) of the American professional sports family...that honor is saved for the NHL.

Obviously, this Finals matchup between a Celtics team that has made the greatest single-season turnaround in history and a Lakers team featuring one of the best all-around players of all time is going to create many memorable highlights that we'll remember for years to come.

Thanks to the NBA Store's new Finals-specific merchandise and its lucrative contract with ABC, we have to wait until Thursday for the first of these highly-anticipated moments.

So this is the perfect time for all of YOU to add YOUR favorite NBA Finals moments!

Anything is fair game, where you were when it happened, what your reaction was, etc.

Just like the previous "YOUR Favorite Moment" articles, I hope that your comments and memories will drive the material and I will pop-in from time to time with rebuttals or relevant links.

If possible, post a link to a YouTube (or other video host) clip that displays your favorite moment. Also, since I know it can be hard to narrow your choice to just one moment, please feel free to post early and often.

Now it's time to post YOUR favorite NBA Finals moment...

Celtics-Cavaliers: "LeBron James Who?!"

Andrew Palumbo — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:22:55 -0400

Two-for-eighteen shooting.

Let me repeat myself... two-for-eighteen shooting. That was what LeBron James brought to the table tonight in Boston against the NBA's best regular season team, the Celtics.

Delonte West had a great night against his old backup point guard from his days in Boston just a year ago. But Rajon Rondo added a solid performance himself, combining with Kevin Garnett to score most of the Celtics' first half points.

On a bizarre night in the NBA Playoffs, LeBron James had - quite possibly - his worst professional basketball game... EVER. Between horrible three-pointers, a handful of missed layups, and multiple frustrated fouls, James offered the Cavaliers absolutely nothing on defense and only his free-throw shooting (eight-for-ten). Only LeBron could make a night where he fell just a rebound and a single assist short of a playoff triple-double look so bad. His twelve points were largely due to the "Dwayne-Wade Treatment" which has brought him to the line continuously -whether he deserves it or not- ever since he first made the NBA Playoffs.

Now I know by stating this I open the door to the lowest-common-denominator commenters who will say "LeBron Rulez" or "Celtics sux" (or some other amazingly intelligent insight), but I'm sorry... it has to be said.

When it all comes down to it, Paul Pierce shut down the supposed "MVP Candidate" more effectively than anyone has all year, and maybe better than anyone ever has before. Sure, Pierce ended with only 4 points himself, but his contribution was shutting down Cleveland's only shot at a victory... LeBron James. Ray Allen was scoreless, but the Celtics were able to produce without his usual offensive numbers. Again, this was largely due to Pierce and the Celtics' complete shutdown of the young man known as LBJ.

Until Cleveland manages to win a game, or LBJ makes some type of offensive contribution, the story will no longer be "Are the Celtics good enough?"

Instead, the question many fans were asking themselves after tonight was...

"LeBron Who?!"

Hawks-Celtics: Boston Overwhelmed by Atlanta's "Fairweather Fans"

Andrew Palumbo — Sat, 03 May 2008 08:48:19 -0400

Sorry Bibby, but people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw giant boulders.

However, I must give credit where credit is due. Atlanta fans have truly risen from barely selling out Game Three before tip-off to having one of the rowdiest crowds in the playoffs so far during Game Six.

The Celtics lost to the Hawks after a last ditch 28-foot heave from Rajon Rondo missed before the final buzzer. This last play was designed to be a pass to Ray Allen, who came off of a pick too late, forcing Rondo to throw the ball off-balanced to end the game.

The game, and the entire series, has been a thinly veiled attempt by Commissioner Stern and the NBA referees to "prove" that there is parity among teams in the East.

Does this excuse the Celtics loss? Definitely not. The foul calls and three-second penalties against Boston (astronomically larger than those against the Hawks), have barely slowed the Celtics from winning their three home games by an average of 22 points.

This type of under-performance reminds me of the presidential races where two seemingly competent individuals, Al Gore (2000) and John Kerry (2004), couldn't beat the village idiot despite the fact that it seemed George W. Bush was trying to help them win (like the refs helping the Hawks and more realistically, Stern's goals)!

Was there blatant cheating in both elections? The facts discovered later point to a definitive "yes". Should it have mattered? No. Much like the Celtics, Gore and Kerry should have had leads that were so insurmountable that it would be impossible to affect the outcome. Unfortunately for the United States (and the world's economy), a man who shouldn't even be trusted with safety scissors eventually became the leader of the free world...twice.

Back to basketball... I've done enough bashing of the Hawks. To be fair, various people have commented on my previous satirical articles and made very valid points. Boston should be worried.

As most of these posters stated, they shouldn't necessarily be worried about Game Seven, but about the fact that other teams can smell blood in the water.

So what's the bottom line? The Boston Celtics are playing championship-caliber basketball at home and haven't even given up an opportunity to risk a loss a home.

That being said, the Celtics — who have home-court advantage throughout the playoffs — could win the championship by simply not losing any games at home.

Unfortunately, that is NOT a championship basketball team's mentality. Boston blew a great opportunity to make a statement by winning Game Six. The best the Celtics can do is return to Auerbach Court and play their best basketball of the season.

Before walking off the famed parquet, however, I hope they realize that the court's namesake and the other members of the NBA's most storied franchise's past would be in agreement with Kevin Garnett's comment before the 2007-08 season began:

"We haven't accomplished anything yet."

Atlanta Hawks Fans Invest in Air Horn Industry

Andrew Palumbo — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:30:15 -0400

The Atlanta Hawks organization, realizing it held a national television audience captive as it battled against the Boston Celtics, has led a sly marketing campaign promoting the resurgence of the air horn industry.

Sure the Hawks are an NBA franchise worth several hundred million dollars, but the owners have attempted a secret marketing ploy to bring back the popularity of air horns for sporting events, pranks, and other various activities.

Their attempt to gain even more profit from the basketball team has centered around the myth that, somehow, the stadium PA's horn and shot clock are not working properly during the Hawks' first round series against the Celtics.

Despite the fact that nowadays NASA can fix a severely damaged space shuttle in Earth's orbit at zero gravity for less than a million dollars in just a few hours, Atlanta has perpetuated a belief that despite two days downtime, they cannot find an electrical engineer to fix the "glitch" that has plagued its shot clock in the two home games of its NBA Playoffs series against the Boston Celtics.

Instead of the normal horn, which inexplicably does not work and cannot be repaired, the Hawks have turned to a trusty air horn to serve as notice that a team's possession time has run out.

Despite an abysmal regular season record in which the Hawks were able to qualify for the playoffs by accident, there had never been a shot clock issue until an Atlanta home game was televised nationally.

Atlanta fans, who have experienced a tumultuous season of bickering owners, understand that their team was built to turn a profit, not to win games. Hawks fans flooded the stock market attempting to buy up stock in air horn companies the morning before Game 4 in Atlanta.

Loyal Hawks fans have understood the recent addition of the air horn to be just another marketing ploy, like this season's "buy one get 250 tickets free" plan and the owners' attempts to fire Coach Woodson and replace him with an actual hawk.

(This was the plot for a Fox pilot that failed to take off after the proposed hawk swooped down during filming, picked up special guest Spud Webb, and flew out an open window with the former Atlanta Hawks star).

Although the series is likely to finish in Boston after two quick wins by the NBA's best team, this author suggests that his readers be prepared to buy stock in the air horn industry if the Atlanta Hawks make the NBA Playoffs in the 2008-09 season.

Also, if anyone has seen Spud Webb, the Atlanta Hawks are looking for him or his remains. Any and all tips are welcome.

Simply blow on an air horn until Hawks representatives are able to find you to take a statement. If they are unable to reach you before your air horn runs out, please replace air horn and repeat until Atlanta's officials arrive.

This article brought to you by the Atlanta Air Horn Co.

Mindy McCready Scandal: Roger Clemens Is a Scumbag

Andrew Palumbo — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 03:34:19 -0400

Surely, Roger Clemens being called a scumbag is not news; instead, it's more common knowledge.

The man once known as "the Rocket", was blasted early this morning with allegations that he was involved in a decade-long affair with little-known country singer, Mindy McCready.

Does this make Roger a "scumbag"? Sure. But there's more...

When Roger began the affair with Ms. McCready he was 28 and she was just 15 years old! Never one to screw-up at the level of normal human beings, Clemens has really gotten himself in a steaming heap this time.

The only things Americans seem to enjoy watching more than steroids hearings and one-time stars being publicly humiliated are the Dateline NBC specials, "To Catch a Predator" about pedophiles getting caught in the act by Chris Hansen.

If the allegations are true, public conversations will turn from "Should he be in Cooperstown" to "Let him be tricked out in prison for the rest of his life".

Now, I don't claim to know for a fact whether or not Clemens is guilty of pedophilia, but the NY Daily News has claimed it has sources to back up this allegation.

Personally, I wouldn't be surprised, but even scumbags like Roger Clemens deserve the right to defend themselves against attacks from less-than reputable "newspapers". This is the reason that I titled this column "Roger Clemens is a Scumbag" and not "Roger Clemens is a Child Rapist".

Regardless: I think we can all agree that, child rapist or not, Roger Clemens is—and always will be—a scumbag.

Celtics-Hawks: Wait...Losing to Atlanta? Really?

Andrew Palumbo — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 05:16:51 -0400

Josh Smith had Boston's fair-weather fans saying, "Who?!" all night long.

The young Hawk came up with 27 points and frustrated the Celtics on the defensive end. None of this could have been done without Mike Bibby deciding to show up ready to play for the first time in the series.

All night, the Celtics parted like the Red Sea giving open looks for layups and dunks to Smith, Johnson, and Horford.

Bibby's jump shot still looked uglier than Zaza Pachulia, but it was the fact that he had eight assists and only two turnovers which made him a factor all night.

At times, the Celtics looked bad... the rest of the time, they were downright awful. A casual fan might see that Garnett put up a 32-10 performance and assume it was a good night for him and his team.

Unfortunately, KG's no longer on the Timberwolves, and a night with numbers like that suggests a breakdown of the Celtics' usual unselfish ball movement.

Doc Rivers mismanaged his time outs and failed to use them properly to slow a Hawks run in the end of the third quarter where the Celtics went without a field goal for over six minutes.

Bibby must be pleased now that even those "fair weather fans" in Boston know who Josh Smith and most of the Hawks starters are.

Unfortunately, he's still on the youngest squad in the NBA and Atlanta celebrated their first playoff victory since 1999 as if it was... well, their first playoff victory since 1999.

Playing poor team defense and allowing Smith open paths to the basket, gave Smith the opportunity to teach the Celtics a lesson.

Unfortunately for Smith, who taunted Paul Pierce and called him a "bitch," in the waning seconds, Game Four will be his turn to be taught a thing or two.

I was excited to see that the refs completely missed and/or ignored the blatant technical-foul offense by Josh Smith because that can mean only one thing...

"The Truth" is coming out Monday night with a severe chip on his shoulder. The Celtics lost a game they should have won.

It took Brian Scalabrine and other members of the bench to keep Paul Pierce from chasing down Horford and putting a hurt on him in front of the (barely) sellout crowd in Atlanta.

Instead, Monday night look for flashes of the old Pierce. Game Four will be the most physical meeting of the series to date, and the Truth is going to come out with both guns blazing.

This is why I watch this team, why I love the playoffs, and why I just bought tickets to Game Five!

Boston Celtics: Rajon Rondo Silences Doubters

Andrew Palumbo — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:14:46 -0400

"He's got no jumper."

"There's no way a kid this young can lead a team with three All-Stars."

"He's not strong enough."

These critiques, and many more, were lobbed at Rajon Rondo before his second season with the Boston Celtics. Despite his immense success and bold leadership in the Celtics' first 82 games, journalists who had barely seen Rondo play continued to recycle these statements throughout the regular season.

Even some coaches were guilty of underestimating the skill and intelligence of the young point guard out of the University of Kentucky, leaving Rondo open to double-team the "Boston Three Party."

As the season progressed, Rondo looked for his shot more frequently, and his field goal percentage increased with his confidence.

The result?

Fifteen points, nine assists, six rebounds, two steals, 6-of-9 field goals, 3-of-4 free throws, and zero turnovers in 28 minutes in the opening game of Boston's first-round playoff series against Atlanta.

He's got no jumper?

You could have fooled me—and everyone else watching Game One .

Rondo made multiple outside shots while fading away from coverage—while still distributing nine assists to the likes of Paul Pierce (16 points), Kevin Garnett (16 points), and Ray Allen (18 points).

Sure, doubters will point to the fact that the youngster air-balled one of his three misses on a deep jumper. But how many second-year players will follow up an air-ball in a debut playoff game with a fearless fade-away that hits nothing but net?

The kid's got ice-water in his veins. If teams disagree with me, please, leave him open. I'm begging you...

He can't lead three All-Stars?

Rajon finished within two points of Allen and one point each of Pierce and Garnett. His nine assists equaled all of the star trio's assists combined.

He also pulled down six rebounds—tying him for the team's second-most boards with 6'10" Kendrick Perkins—and matched James Posey for the most steals in the game with two.

Not only did Rondo run the team's offense, then—he produced the best stat line out of all 12 players who saw playing time.

He's not strong enough?

Rondo's six rebounds came despite his (generously-measured) 6'1" frame. Twice he vaulted over much larger defenders for offensive rebounds.

What's more, Rondo's defense frustrated playoff veteran point guard Mike Bibby, who ended up with only five points on 2-for-10 shooting.

Bibby—the Hawks' playmaker—had three rebounds, one assist, and two turnovers in 34 minutes. Bibby is a bigger, more experienced player who was overmatched by the wily strength of Rajon Rondo.

You're probably thinking that is the point where I recap everything I've mentioned in order to drive home the point that Rajon Rondo should NOT be underestimated by opposing teams in the playoffs.

But you're wrong.

This is actually the part of the column where I beg and plead with teams to remember that Rondo's got no jumper, can't lead a star-studded team, and isn't strong enough to hang with the big boys.

So by all means—don't guard him. Sit back and wait for his turnovers, and count on his weak will. That's right, rely on outdated rhetoric rather than updated scouting reports. It'll be fine, just fine.

After all, Rondo's just a second-year point guard. What could he possibly do?

Seattle Supersonics: Schultz to "Save the Sonics"?

Andrew Palumbo — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:39:27 -0400

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz announced his intention to sue Clay Bennett and his Oklahoma-based ownership group for control of the Seattle SuperSonics today. The Seattle businessman previously owned the team before selling the franchise to Bennett and a handful of other Oklahoma businessmen.

If Schultz is successful, Bennett and his partners could be found guilty of a breach of contract and might lose their rights to the team.

The basis for the lawsuit is the recent release of e-mails between Bennett and the other owners explaining their intent to move the Sonics to Oklahoma as soon as possible. Normally, this would be within his rights, but Bennett made a promise to Schultz as a part of their contract that a "good-faith effort" would be made to keep the basketball franchise in Seattle.

The e-mails in question were sent in the midst of Bennett's self-described "good-faith effort." ESPN reported that in one e-mail Bennett even wrote, "I am a man possessed! Will do everything we can. Thanks for hanging with me boys."

If this is true, Bennett proved he is guilty of breaching his contract, and also that he has poor grammar.

The interesting story to come will involve Bennett's longtime friend/accomplice, NBA Commissioner David Stern.

If Stern, a lawyer, were to further side with Bennett during a possible ownership legal battle, he would undoubtedly face a no-confidence vote from NBA owners around the league. If Schultz is successful, however, Stern will have committed himself to a losing battle and might be seen as ineffective by the owners.

April 15, 2008: A bad day for Clay Bennett, David Stern, and those who left their taxes to the last minute. A wonderful day for the Seattle SuperSonics, the NBA, and true basketball fans everywhere.

Could Schultz be returning his attention to the SuperSonics as a way to save his image in Seattle and elsewhere? Is he simply trying to become a "hero" in order to bring a boost to Starbucks' slumping sales?

I couldn't care less...

Save the Sonics!

Boston Celtics: Doc Rivers Blows Shot at Coach of the Year in Loss to Wizards

Andrew Palumbo — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:34:20 -0400

Dear Doc,

In the past year I've loved you, I've hated you, and most recently... I've been completely perplexed.

You've taken the theme of team unity and "Ubuntu" and turned it into a 61-15 season before tonight's complete coaching collapse. You had silenced most of the doubters, including myself, up until this point. In a contest with no meaning whatsoever, you decided to play your starters late in a game against the Washington Wizards.

Why?

I have absolutely no idea. Not a single one. The Celtics didn't need the win. In fact, dropping a game this close to the playoffs might have been a motivating force for the second unit if it was deemed the fault of the bench.

Instead of giving the bench minutes in late-game situations, you chose to return Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce. Moments later, in came Ray Allen. Had they remained resting on the bench, this would have been a meaningless win for the Wizards' starters over the Celtics' bench. Instead, it was a legitimate win for Washington over Boston. Even worse, you missed a shot at developing bench players in a situation where they needed to play from behind.

In my opinion you were neck and neck with Byron Scott (and even held an edge over him) until tonight's game. The fact of the matter is that both teams started at 0-0 in October and they will each finish with an MVP candidate. What separates the two? Scott is still playing for position in the playoffs, and Doc, you're not.

You blew it. You really blew it. Let's face it... I wanted win number 62 (on the way to a possibly 67-win season) as much as you did.

What's the problem with that?

I'm a fan drinking a cold one, watching the game. You're a multi-million dollar professional basketball coach.

I am on my way to an undefeated season in NBA Live 2008 while, admittedly, using Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen far too often. If this is your plan for the playoffs, we're all in for a rude awakening in the coming months.

Doc, you're not a fan you're a coach. This isn't a video game, it's the NBA.

Now that you've blown your shot at coach of the year with such a foolish mistake, let's make the most of the last five games and develop our crucial bench players.

I'm not mad, I'm just warning you Doc. The playoffs are a different animal altogether. We all start at 0-0 once again.

Now lets rededicate ourselves to playing the best basketball and let's do it together.

"Ubuntu!"

Olympics Purchased by Clay Bennet and Promptly Moved to Oklahoma City

Andrew Palumbo — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:52:13 -0400

Under recent fire for purchasing the Seattle SuperSonics under false pretenses and planning to re-locate the 41 year-old franchise to Oklahoma City, owner Clay Bennett has purchased the Olympics.

Despite spending 45 minutes trying his hardest to keep the Olympic Summer Games in China, he has exhausted all other avenues and sees no other recourse but to move the games to Oklahoma City.

Bennett demanded that China build a brand new $15 trillion stadium in place of the state-of-the-art facilities which are just being finished for this summer's games.

When this reporter caught up to NBA Commissioner David Stern, I was told, "This is a great day for the Olympics, China, the United States, and Oklahoma City." In completely unrelated news, it has recently been discovered that, in 1962, David Stern lost a $100 billion poker bet (nine-high card) to Clay Bennett (full house) during a kegger at their fraternity.

In a yearbook we were able to obtain from their college years, Clay Bennett's superlative simply said: "Most likely to be a huge douchebag." Bennett never graduated, however, because he claims he had "a few problems in math."

Clay Bennett believes that the Olympics will draw a much larger crowd in Oklahoma City (population of 1.2 million) than in China (population of 1.3 billion).

When asked what he would do with the rights to the Olympics, Bennett explained that he would change the name of the Olympics, the colors, and the outdated logos. Tomorrow he is set to unveil the new logo to the international games he has named: "That Really Cool Sports Thing in Oklahoma that's Cooler than the Olympics and the SuperSonics Combined".

The last question asked of Bennett was what did he have to say to the billions of Chinese citizens who had worked so hard to support the event originally planned for Beijing.

His answer:

"Simple, the same thing I said to Seattle before I saved their basketball team from that city.... 'F&@* You!'."

P.S. - We all support you Seattle!

Olympic Torch Takes the Bus

Andrew Palumbo — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:45:47 -0400

Sadly, folks, this picture was not Photoshopped, nor is this article a satire piece.

For the first time in history (at least to my knowledge), the famed Olympic Torch took the bus in Paris, France. After several attempts by pro-Tibetan groups to steal the torch, officials ushered the procession onto a bus and continued the route as planned.

France is not the only place where protests have been staged. Earlier today, three protesters scaled the Golden Gate Bridge to display large banners that read "One World/One Dream/FreeTibet.org" and "Free Tibet '08." Protests have also sprung up in London as well as in parts of China itself.

What has led to these "attacks" on a famed symbol of the international games?

The Chinese government has continued to escalate tensions between itself and Tibet through beatings, imprisonment, and an international misinformation campaign. Unfortunately for the Chinese government, we have greater access to a reliable free press that cannot be silenced as easily as China's increasingly insulated populace.

There have been calls for countries and important international figures (including President George W. Bush) to boycott the opening ceremonies and even the games themselves.

Where do we draw the line between politics and sport? Do we ignore the political injustices occurring in China and watch the games because we can't wait to see the United States dominate in swimming or the possibility that LeBron James proves to the world that he truly is the "King"?

If we personally boycott watching the Olympics, when do we put our foot down next? Shall we refuse to allow Cuban baseball teams onto U.S. soil to play games due to our embargo? Will we not watch if the United States finds itself matched up against Iran in World Cup 2010?

I don't claim to have the answer and I believe that the decision is ours to make, however, I must admit that it disturbs me to know that while I am free to write such an article sitting safely in my apartment in upstate New York, if I were a citizen of China writing this within its borders you might never hear from me again.

We are a unique community, both sports fans and writers. I believe this issue is of great importance for us to discuss, if only because of one beautiful truth:

WE CAN.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note:

I know people might have strong opinions on this topic and the recent protests across the world over China's human rights violations, policies on Tibet, and hard-line stance on those who speak out against the government's inhumane policies. Although I hope this piece will generate much discourse, please refrain from making racist or otherwise insensitive/ignorant comments. We're all better than that.

I believe it's important that we all, as sports fans, realize that sometimes greater issues than wins and losses come into our realm and it can be positive to discuss these topics rather than simply dismiss or condemn them.

That being said, let the posting begin...

Kevin Durant: It's Cool, We Can Still be Friends

Andrew Palumbo — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:05:17 -0400

As I drove home to Massachusetts to visit my family for Easter, I found myself with a dying IPod battery and plenty of time to reflect on life. And by life I mean the two things that are constantly on my mind: women and the Boston Celtics (and not always in that order).

I know what you’re thinking: "There’s no way Andrew's going to try to write a cheesy article loosely linking his relationships with women to the trials and tribulations of his favorite sports franchise."

That, my friends, is where you’re wrong.

The following is my attempt to explain the complex relationship between Kevin Durant and this diehard Boston Celtics fan.

A year ago, the Boston Celtics were in the midst of one of the worst seasons in Boston sports history after crawling out of a franchise-worst 18-game losing streak. The C’s faced unbelievable injury problems, a seriously waning fan base, and—worst of all—virtual obscurity. The 2006-2007 Boston Celtics finished as the second worst team in the NBA with just 24 wins.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel though: a 6-9 college freshman (soon to become the National College Player of the Year) with an absurd wingspan and a truly sleek skill-set that comes along maybe once in a generation.

This young man's name was known by every member of Celtic Nation. Kevin Durant was the hope we had longed for since Bird retired, Reggie Lewis left us all too early, we were teased by Tim Duncan in the NBA Draft Lottery, and Len Bias nearly took every Celtics fan's mental well-being with him.

Somehow, some way, Durant would be ours!

While the rest of the country argued over who was better—Durant or the equally dominant college freshman, Greg Oden—some Boston fans began to do something that had never been seen in the Beantown sports scene: They rooted against their team.

Tragedy and fading memories of glory days will do crazy things to sports fans. In the words of Rick James: "Cocaine’s a hell of a drug."

May 22, 2007–"A Day That Shall Live In Infamy"

Did the Sporting News cover with Tim Duncan in Celtics green that came out the week before the draft jinx us? Was it the Sports Guy's horrible decision to watch "Déjà vu" the night of the draft lottery that was exactly 10 years after the Duncan tragedy?

Maybe it was the basketball gods dishing out a dose of karma to a loyal fan base that had done the unthinkable and pined for their team to lose games down the stretch.

Whatever the reason, Boston dropped to the fifth spot in the 2007 NBA Draft, and Celtics fans were left with that horrible gut-wrenching "not again" feeling. What happened next was this fan’s worst nightmare.

Rumors that Pierce wants out, having to read half-assed sports columns suggesting that the Celtics aren't half-bad if Gerald Green can mature and develop his mental game (yes, the same Gerald Green who is currently not on an NBA roster less than a year later), and waiting over a month to see what (nearly) useless consolation prize the team would pick up.

When I finally got up the energy to call my family and friends to discuss the most recent Celtics tragedy, all of the true fans echoed Bill Simmons' sentiment about the lottery in his article published a week after the draft.

"The thing that really kills me? I thought we were going to win," Simmons said. "I really did. I was feeling it."

And here is where the link to women comes in...You see, Kevin Durant was the one who got away.

Let me explain.

Kevin Durant is like the girl that almost every guy has met at least once in his life.

She’s beautiful, popular, intelligent, and most importantly...she’s into you! Maybe you met her in high school, or maybe she was in your freshman writing class in college. You started talking to one another and then—to your surprise—you totally hit it off.

The two of you start hanging out more and more during the day, and talk to each other at night on the phone. Finally, you get up the courage to ask her out and then it hits you...REALITY!

Unlike the other amazing girls you’ve met before, her reasons are different. It’s fate...out of her hands. You see, if she’s the girl you met in high school, she’s going across the country to study at Reed College and doesn’t want to ruin the great relationship that you have built up over the past few months.

And if she’s the gorgeous young lady you met in college, she’s about to embark on a year-long term abroad in Europe and feels she needs to be single to find herself and also doesn’t want to ruin the great relationship that you have built up over the past few months.

Either way, you lose. It’s not for lack of effort or compatibility. For some unknown reason, it just wasn’t meant to be.

You’re hurt, but you accept it and after a short period of time realize that she’s not just feeding you a line. You really care as much about the friendship that you’ve created with this wonderful person so much that you wish nothing but the best for her.

Despite the fact that it’s a rare occurrence nowadays, you stay in touch with this girl and really do become best friends.

Kevin Durant, I have convinced myself, is THAT GIRL! Do I blame Kevin for what happened in the NBA Lottery? How can I? It’s beyond his control.

Instead, I’ve followed him so much and have begun to appreciate what he has to offer the NBA that I can’t help but hope the best for him, even if that means he’ll be playing for another team (whether it be in Seattle, Oklahoma City, or Corpus Christi).

Thanks to NBA League Pass, I get to keep in touch with KD and appreciate everything it is that he has done for me over the past year.

Now imagine this typical guy-meets-girl-and-falls-for-girl-but-they-become-friends-instead story has a unique twist. You’re now without the girl who’s meant so much to you and know that she’s about to move on, but you’re still alone and confused.

Then, out of nowhere, two really amazing older girls come along. They’re both really into you and want to hang out and just "see where things go." Sure, it won’t last forever, and it might be a mess if things don’t go right, but you HAVE to go for it.

The odds are slim that it will work and the whole thing could blow up in your face at any moment, but it’s just too tempting.

Suddenly you’re faced with the realization that you’ve come out on top and couldn’t be any luckier. You’ve got a great opportunity in front of you, and who knows what could happen down the road.

College doesn’t last forever and neither does a term abroad. Even if she meets someone, odds are there’s still a shot somewhere down the road. If she meets a guy at Reed, at some point she’s bound to grow tired of his refusal to shower, the constant stench of reefer, and his insistence that Frisbee is a sport.

And if she’s the girl you met in college, well she might meet a nice cultured man, but again...the whole not showering issue will rear its ugly head again.

And you know what, it really doesn’t even matter. Because you’re happy with the friendship you have and the accidental situation that it’s led to in the meantime.

And that’s where I am now as a basketball fan.

Do I miss the mental image of Kevin Durant gliding in for a monster dunk with his green and white jersey flapping in the wind? Of course. Am I foolish enough to worry about this when I’ve got Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett suiting up alongside Paul Pierce every night? Definitely not.

You see, I’m happy with how things turned out. I can be excited for Durant because, quite honestly, the Supersonics (guys at Reed or in Europe) are such a mess right now that I’m not all that worried.

Even if he ends up never donning a Celtics uniform, it’ll be quite alright because I’ve come to terms with our relationship. Such an amazing basketball player might never have been meant for me and my team, but nobody can keep me from watching and appreciating what he has to offer the NBA throughout his career.

So, all I have to say to Kevin Durant is: It’s cool, we can still be friends.

NCAA Hoops: What's YOUR Favorite March Madness Moment?

Andrew Palumbo — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 05:02:59 -0400

While watching the first two rounds of March Madness this weekend, I got in the mood to think back to all of my favorite Cinderella stories and buzzer beaters.

One of my favorite aspects of college hoops is the fact that there are over 300 Division I Men's Basketball programs. Moreover, the fan base of each team is not always as geographically finite as the boundary of your average professional sports franchise.

For instance, I am a Syracuse Orange fan because of family ties, despite growing up during a great stretch for more local favorites (UMass and UConn).

Don't be afraid to add heart wrenching stories of defeat. Anything goes. Whether you're a George Mason fan or alumnus of Florida.

Whether you have celebrated recent success, or your team is going through a drought, and March forces you to go through your own catalogue of mental highlights from yesteryear... we all have a favorite moment, story, or team, that they recall every year, around this time.

Now's your chance to share your favorite college hoop memories with the rest of us. This experiment will only be as strong as the contributions. So, comment early and reply often.

I'd love to get a dialogue going about some of our favorite moments (or in some cases, least favorite moments).

Now for our Disclaimer:

I know we sometimes get heated when discussing our favorite/most hated teams, but let's try to keep it respectful and offer solid commentary when posting.

Please refrain from posts that simply state, "Duke sucks" (whether I may personally agree or not) or "UCLA rocks." If they do not add constructively to the conversation, then please leave them out.

I'm not saying we can't sling a little mud at the programs we "hate", but make sure to add some content to the argument as well.

Get creative—tell us where you were, how it happened, how you celebrated. Anything you'd like, but be sure to add to the conversation and give specifics (years are especially helpful if at all possible).

Bonus: If you can find a video of your favorite moment somewhere on the web, throw in a link, so we can all enjoy it.

Timberwolves Owner Claims Kevin Garnett "Tanked It" in Minnesota

Andrew Palumbo — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 04:42:03 -0400

On Tuesday, Minnesota Timberwolves owner, Glen Taylor, accused Kevin Garnett of shutting down early by exaggerating a leg injury so he could sit out the final five games of the 2006-2007 season.

Taylor suggested, "KG tanked it. I think the other guys still wanted to play. But it sure changed the team and didn't make us (as strong)." His criticism quickly made front page headlines on all of the top sports Web sites prior to Tuesday night's game between the Houston Rockets and the Boston Celtics.

How did Garnett respond?

He played basketball. Garnett put on a brilliant show against the Rockets, who came into the game riding a virtually unheard of 22-game win streak.

Did KG change his game?

Did he point out the fact that Taylor constantly shopped Garnett around the NBA during the past few years, despite his insistence that he wished to remain with the Timberwolves?

Did Garnett take the time to point out that columnist after columnist is putting his name amongst the statistical leaders of the NBA as an MVP candidate because of the "intangibles" that he brings with his intensity and motivation?

The answer to all of these questions is no.

Garnett took a page from Ron Burgundy's book and "stayed classy," only making a brief statement.

"Glen Taylor was good to me while I was a Timberwolf. I'm a Boston Celtic now. I'm not going to be going back and forth and saying tasteless things. That's not in my character. I'll let him speak if he wants to," he said.

With this comment, fans from "Stockbridge to Boston" (you better get used to my random James Taylor references now folks) finally realized that they are not dreaming. KG is a Celtic. Meanwhile, poor Timberwolves fans watched in horror as Taylor unnecessarily put his ugly finishing touch on an otherwise beautiful story of a loyal man and his equally loyal fans.

If you've ever watched a single game featuring Garnett, however, you know that he's no angel. This is a man who fights for position on the block with under three minutes left to play in the fourth quarter of blowout games. Somewhere NBA executives are rethinking television closeups of players after highlight plays because of Garnett's usual intense, expletive-laced celebrations. Garnett plays the game as hard and focused as anyone I've ever seen in professional sports.

So it should come as no surprise that KG's powerful slam in the closing minutes of a blowout against the hottest team in the NBA - which was followed by his usual "That's right mother[expletive]!" - was most likely aimed at his former friend and owner, Glen Taylor.

In the words of Keith Olbermann, congratulations Glen Taylor, "You're tonight's WORST...PERSON...IN THE WORLD!"

Boston Celtics: "I Remember"

Andrew Palumbo — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:27:44 -0400

"I remember..."

...being a small boy sitting with my grandfather just months before he passed away watching the Boston Celtics put together one of the most impressive NBA seasons in history as they swaggered to the NBA Championship in '86.

...watching Larry Bird's arch-rival, Magic Johnson, give his "There will never be another Larry Bird" speech to honor No. 33's retirement at a packed Boston Garden (on a night where there was NO game played).
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Note:
For true NBA scholars and fans, the unedited Larry Bird retirement video is a must-see on the level of Magic Johnson's HIV announcement and all 13 times that Michael Jordan "retired".

Bird Retires (1 of 3)
Bird Retires (2 of 3)
Bird Retires (3 of 3)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...my first Boston Celtics game (Sec. 7 Row 3 Seat 3) where my father and I were two of the last fans to leave the storied Boston Garden in an otherwise meaningless mid-season game against the Atlanta Hawks on January 20, 1993.

...feeling as if I lost a best friend when I learned that Reggie Lewis died just months after attending my first game.

...watching hopefully - season after season - the many fruitless attempts to recapture the glory of '86.

...getting in a week-long fight with my college girlfriend after demanding that the restaurant - where we were celebrating her best friend's 21st birthday - change the channel from a muted Law & Order episode to Game 1 of Celtics-Pacers in the first round of the 2005 Playoffs.

...not understanding why my fellow Boston sports fans largely refused to support the most successful dynasty in local sports just because of a championship drought.

...hearing the news that the Red Auerbach Dynasty came to an abrupt end (just days before the 2006-2008 season) with his passing on October 28, 2006.

...the first time I payed for NBA League Pass, only to watch the Celtics go 24-58.

...wanting to cry watching the Celtics draw the fifth pick in the 2007 NBA Draft Lottery.

...rushing home and throwing on my Delonte West St. Patrick's Day (for extra luck) Celtic's jersey just in time to hear that the Celtics had made a trade for Ray Allen.

...the traitorous feeling I had after tossing my West jersey to the ground to don a Seattle Ray Allen jersey (I have the wardrobe of a 12 year-old) only to get a phone call from my mother informing me that I had missed the announcement that we traded Delonte along with the fifth pick.

...actually crying when ESPN confirmed that Kevin Garnett was being traded to the Boston Celtics.

...the Celtics winning their first 8 games of the 2007-2008 season.

...listening to critics' claims that the Celtics couldn't compete against the West and the subsequent 16-0 start against one of the most dominant Western Conferences in NBA history.

...Boston willing themselves to a win by Eddie House inconceivably forcing a turnover, a rushed pass by Pierce, and one of the most unpredictable buzzer-beaters of the season courtesy of Ray Allen.

...the Celtics beating the defending champion Spurs (twice).

...the 2007-2008 Celtics casually ending the storybook 22-0 run of the Houston Rockets (by 20 points) as if it had been preordained by the basketball gods.

...the goosebumps I get every single time I realize that the Boston Celtics have become the NBA's swaggering villains once again.

Andrew Palumbo

Boston Celtics-San Antonio Spurs: Celtics Down Spurs in Possible NBA Finals Preview

Andrew Palumbo — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:06:25 -0400

The Boston Celtics swept the season series against the San Antonio Spurs 2-0 with a 93-91 victory on the road tonight.

The story of the night was the production of Manu Ginobili and Rajon Rondo. Sure, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Tony Parker all filled up the stat sheet, but to watch the game was to observe two elite NBA guards in one of the most exhilarating East/West duels this season.

Ginobili's line (32 PTs, 10-18 FGs, 4-7 3PT, 8-8 FT, 4 REB, 2 AST) was the best in the game, but sophomore point guard Rajon Rondo answered with a clear message to the Western Conference teams: "Don't leave me open!" Rondo responded to Manu's efforts with his own impressive numbers (20 PTs, 9-18FGs, 2-2 FT, 6 REB, 3 AST, 3 STL).

Fans who watched the game were treated to a roller coaster ride that ended with a Bruce Bowen steal and subsequent Robert Horry fade-away three-pointer off of a sloppy Garnett inbound pass with precious seconds left in the game. If you switched the channel with the Celtics down 22 points early in the first half, you missed one of the most exciting inter-conference games of the season.

The Spurs owned the first quarter and a half, but the Celtics were able to close the gap to just 10 points as the buzzer sounded to end the half. Boston made quick work in the opening minutes of the third quarter to essentially erase what had seemed to be an insurmountable lead.

Boston took it's first lead of the game off of a Rondo steal, spin move, and leading pass to Paul Pierce who dunked the ball home to silence San Antonio's roaring crowd. Seconds later, the Celtics built on this lead with a Paul Pierce full-court pass to Rondo to return the favor.

The rest of the game was fought in short spurts and impressive offensive plays by both teams.

To watch this thriller was to experience two totally different players with an (almost) equal effect in the game. Manu and Rajon fiercely battled back and forth before the Celtics' point guard left in the third period with an ankle sprain. Had Rondo not returned, the Celtics could easily have lost the game.

Rondo ended up pulling down a beautiful one-handed rebound, cradling the ball between his right palm and forearm. He simply WANTED the ball more than a tired Tony Parker who stood (both feet on the floor) waiting for the ball to drop into his outstretched hands. This single play sealed San Antonio's fate and silenced critics league-wide who believed that Rondo lacked "experience" and the "intangibles" than an elite point guard needs to lead a team to the NBA Championship.

Was it just this play? No.

Was it the all-around solid game against the defending champions? No.

It has been Rajon Rondo's student mentality that he takes into each and every game as he learns on the fly from some of the most intelligent basketball minds of the past 20 years (Garnett, R. Allen, Pierce, Cassell, Coach Doc Rivers, and my selection for assistant coach of the year Tom Thibodeau).

Back to Manu vs. Rajon...

The two guards acted as foils throughout the entire game. Rondo brought a silky smooth set of moves consisting of ball fakes, floaters, and reverse layups that are rarely seen in today's bump-and-grind style of point guard play.

Conversely, Ginobili had the most effective "ugly" game that I've had the pleasure of watching all season long. And it was a pleasure. If you've played enough schoolyard pickup games or maybe try to find 45 minutes during lunch to sneak away from work to shoot some hoops, you've probably had the fortune (or misfortune) of playing with "that guy"—the balding, somewhat-out-of-shape older guy who wears his shorts too short and his socks too high.

Invariably "that guy" takes the most ridiculous, ill-advised shots of anyone on the court...and reliably seems to hit each and every one. Manu Ginobili is often "that guy" and tonight was certainly no exception. Helped out by an extra step on every other layup and very generous foul calls, Manu carved out the line of the night and did so in an incredibly ugly fashion.

In fact, Ginobili's game was so ugly that it lead me to mutter comments such as, "I could play better than this bum" and "It's easy when you're reflecting light off of your bald spot into the defender's eyes." (Yes, I was watching this game alone and continually talking—and cursing—to myself.)

But the truth of the matter is that, Manu is simply "that guy" on a whole other level. He is the embodiment of this stereotype at the highest level of basketball that leaves the likes of Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett shaking their heads in disbelief.

To return to the pickup game metaphor, that would make you and me...Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett. The guys I ball with have called me a lot of names but "The Truth" isn't one of them.

The bottom line: Manu Ginobili is playing some of the best "ugly" basketball this league has ever seen, and on some level that's more crushing that a guy like Kobe sweet-stroking his way to these type of numbers, or LeBron muscling his way through a helpless defensive line. Every lucky bounce (or eight) on the rim and every missed traveling call is like a dagger through the heart.

Manu Ginobili—in this Celtics fan's humble opinion—was the best player of the game, but Rajon Rondo WON the game. I look forward to several more years of back-and-forth duels between Rondo and Ginobili and their clearly contrasting styles of play.

Andrew Palumbo