Bleacher Report - Articles by Bryan Goldberg

Let's Welcome LeGarrette Blount Back To Oregon Football With Open Arms

Bryan Goldberg — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:50:35 -0400

LeGarrette Blount embarrassed himself, and made his college look bad.

He proved to be a lousy decision-maker. A terrible decision-maker. Heck, he probably had his brain turned off entirely.

Was he on drugs? Probably not, though the way he acted, one might think he was on crack.

Blount acted like a kid.

And not a very sharp kid.

Sound familiar?

Yup, that pretty much sums up my entire four-year collegiate experience.

And that's why he should get a second chance. Because he's a kid. A college kid who made a really dumb mistake. A college kid...just like some of you or I used to be.

A lot of grown men and women choose not to talk about their college experiences in great detail. We here in America like to close the book on our four years once we begin life in the "real world." With good reason.

College is all about mistakes. It's about learning from text books, as well as from our real-world experiences. It's a time to test out our judgement, to enjoy the good times, and learn from the bad.

Every year, colleges deal with these realities. Every year, some students make mistakes, usually involving drugs and alcohol. Some never wake up. Thankfully, most do. And we learn from it.

Every year, colleges deal with politics and drama. Some students try to cheat, others get depressed and stop doing their work. Some have trouble paying. Some drop out. Everybody has that friend who gets his or her heart torn apart, turns to drugs, or attempts suicide.

That's college.

The only difference between the rest of us and Blount?

Millions of people didn't watch me every time I took an extra shot of whiskey, or every time I said something stupid, or started a pointless fight.

Should he be held to a higher standard? No. He doesn't get paid. He doesn't get paid a penny to take the field.

Maybe one day he'll be a millionaire running back. And maybe one day your dormmate will leverage his college education to get a job on Wall Street making millions.

But that is for tomorrow.

And no college student should be robbed of their chance for a good tomorrow.

If LeGarrette Blount is guilty of a crime so heinous that he deserves no second chance, then so too are millions of his critics. They just choose to forget what life was like in college.

It's easy to throw stones.

Try throwing one at the mirror.

Memo to IOC: Neither Chicago Nor United States Need The Olympics

Bryan Goldberg — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:24:33 -0400

This isn't what the Olympics is supposed to be about...

Corrupt politics, nonsensical group-think, decisions based on everything but merit.

If the IOC voters didn't want to make their decisions based upon the respective qualities inherent in each city's bid, then a country like America need not waste its time.

Consider this our last bid for a long time.

It just isn't worth it. As a country, we have a lot on our plate. We don't need to waste our time with this circus of a bidding process four years from now... or any time in the near future.

Surely, pundits will spend a bit of time in the next few weeks explaining what exactly went wrong, how a perceived favorite, Chicago, could go out in the first vote.

There will be a lot of explaining to do. Someone will have to explain why Tokyo—a city that has not only hosted the games before, but has demonstrated little enthusiasm or support from its own citizens—could top Chicago's bid.

Someone will have to explain why Madrid made it to the final two, when a European city will host the 2012 Summer games, as well as the 2014 Winter games.

Absurd!

Yes, we all know that Spain—and Spanish-speaking nations in general—have several power-players within the fraternal order of the IOC. But if that is the ultimate manner in which decisions get made, then why bother having a bidding process? Why get people's hopes up?

Consider the speech from Spanish representative, and former IOC kingpin, Juan Antonio Samaranch:

"I am 89 years old. I know I am near the end of my life — Would you do me the honor of allowing my country to organize the Games in 2016?"

What a cheap shot. What an undignified thing to say. Perhaps the people of Chicago should have been told upfront that their bid would be undercut by a self-centered pity plea. President Obama's speech was about Chicago. Clearly, Juan Antonio thinks that this process is about himself.

All that said, many people have talked about the positives encumbant in Rio De Janeiro's bid. They are very qualified. There are a lot of great reasons to pick them.

But this article is about how Chicago came in dead last. How they didn't even come close.

Madrid and Tokyo were objectively less deserving than Chicago, and by insulting the Windy City with a first round elimination, the IOC made an obnoxious statement.

They gave the finger to America, and basically said, "We don't care if you have turned a corner and re-embraced the international community, you're still America, and we still resent you."

F--k them.

Chicago put forth an exceptional bid, President Obama made a bold statement by appearing in Copenhagen along with other world leaders, and the United States genuinely embraced the spirit of global unity.

This country believes in what the Olympics are *supposed* to be about. And Chicago would have welcomed the world with open arms.

Chicago and America did their part.

The world did not do theirs.

People can denounce we Americans as bitter, or as poor sports. Fine. We'll speak with our television remotes when 2016 rolls around.

If Roman Polanski Looked Like Michael Vick: He'd Be Rotting in Prison

Bryan Goldberg — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 21:14:38 -0400

What a joke.

Put him in prison. Extradite him to America, carry out his sentence, and let him serve his time.

It will be a real shame, since he is a genius. Not only that, but he has suffered a lot in his life, and deserves to be happy in his old age.

But the same could be said for a lot of criminals. How many gang members on death row grew up under terrible circumstances or lived through tragedy? Probably most.

But that's not what this article is about.

What has a lot of sports fans fuming is this:

If Roman Polanski were an athlete, he'd be rotting in jail right now with no sympathy.

Just look at Plaxico Burress, who carried a concealed weapon, shot himself in the leg, and is now serving a two-year sentence.

Look at Michael Vick. He abused a group of non-human girls, and spent nearly as long in the slammer.

So why should a convicted rapist—a man who had sex with a thirteen year old girl— getting so much sympathy both from his industry, but also from the nation of France?

Because he is skilled behind a camera, instead of being skilled behind a center, two guards, and two offensive tackles?

Or maybe it's because he is a small, unimposing man, versus a big, intimidating athlete like Michael Vick, who has a tough glare and corn rows.

Maybe because his type of intelligence—creative intelligence—is more valued than the brilliance of somebody who has great field vision and leadership skills.

Perhaps Roman Polanski gets sympathy because his personal tragedies are documented in history books—that makes them more visible than the tragedies that so many athletes have dealt with in their lives: abandoned by parents, recruited for gangs, treated like nobodies (until they get rich).

Or maybe it's because Polanski committed his crime several decades ago, back when there was "Free Love" or whatever other silly euphemism we want to use in order to sugar coat his crime.

Maybe it's an issue of race—gasp—there, I said it. No need to dig deeper into this one. Either you buy it, or you think it's total crap. But it's more than just a wild conjecture.

Any way you cut it, those of us who admire athletes and would rather see an Arnold movie than an art house flick should all take notice of this. It's not right.

Roman Polanski committed a crime, and he should serve his time.

Nobody had a problem throwing Plaxico or Vick in prison.

Nobody should have a problem with Polanski's sentence being carried out.

Dallas Cowboys Should Fire Wade Phillips Immediately After Game

Bryan Goldberg — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:23:31 -0400

The 4th Quarter is here, and Jerry Jones can't be amused right now.

Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett are lucky that their team's highly-engaged owner did not walk onto the field early in the fourth quarter to fire them both on the spot.

At the time of this article's publication, the Dallas Cowboys maintain a six point lead...

...but that's the problem. It shouldn't even be a game at this point.

The offensive play calling on the Cowboys' critical 1-yard-line set of downs was not bad. It was not horrific. It was nothing less than self-defeating.

Every coach makes mistakes.

But sometimes there are mistakes that are so inexcusable, that they speak directly to the character of the decision maker.

This set of downs was one of them.

Let's face it, though. The rest of the game has been littered with sloppiness and thoughtless penalties. Carolina has practically handed this victory to the Cowboys (thanks to an equally sloppy performance), and the Cowboys have refused to capitalize.

One cannot blame Phillips for the embarrassing field goal shank by Nick Folk. But it was John Phillips inexcusable penalty on 4th-and-inches that forced the kicking unit back on the field when a touchdown was critical.

Good coaches take responsibility for the discipline of thier squad. This will be the third straight game in which the Cowboys have taken more penalties than their opponent.

But the 'Boys have outdone themselves tonight with 80 yards of penalization, with a lot of time left on the clock. That's bad. The timing and momentum-killing nature of those infractions has been even worse.

Cowboys fans should be particularly disappointed in their coaching staff, because the leaders on the field have really stepped up tonight. Romo has surely re-established his sense of confidence. Felix Jones came up big in the first half. Roy Williams has made a handful of big catches.

This one can't be pinned on Romo.

Even if the Cowboys win this one, Jerry Jones will have to put his coaching staff on alert.

Dallas will not get to play a cupcake of a game at home every week, and they can only play Tampa Bay once. An undisciplined and poorly-called performance like tonights will register a loss against New York or Philadelphia—at home or away.

Who knows how this game will end. It will probably be a Cowboy victory.

But we all know how this season will end if Dallas exhibits such poor play calling and inexcusable discipline...

... there is no margin for error in the NFC East.

It Wasn't Only Brett Favre—NFL Fans Were Winners As Vikings Top 49ers

Bryan Goldberg — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:52:03 -0400

Yes, I'm a 49ers fan, and yes I am devastated that this one ended up in the loss column.

But don't feel bad for me.

I was just treated to one of the most spectacular and inspirational game-ending victories that this league has seen in years.

Maybe I'm some sort of a masochist, but that stake that the 40-year-old vet drove into our team's heart... well, it was amazing to watch.

The way the 49ers played today, they are a lock for the division.

The Vikings are going to hammer the Rams, Cardinals, and Seahawks by 30-point margins, and Adrian Peterson is going to put up 500 yards during the course of those three games.

Meanwhile, the 49ers' depth at RB, teamed with continued improvement by Shaun Hill, Vernon Davis, and a seemingly impenetrable defensive front, will chip away one victory at a time.

So don't feel bad for the Niners.

Today was about Brett Favre.

Today was a victory for the NFL and football fans in general.

Today, those of us who have him sitting as a backup in our Fantasy Leagues will take a second look. Sure, some of us may have snatched up his teammate with the very first pick in the draft, but that guy wasn't the story today.

Green Bay Packers fans, who at this point have no idea how to feel about Favre, have to be smiling. They may stop smiling as soon as the Vikings clinch the division, but for the rest of the day, they can pull back that fake wall of disdain and remember the happy times.

And those of us sitting in our armchairs in San Francisco... it's hard not to think of Steve Young's pass to T.O. a decade ago. There's nothing better than seeing an old guy who still has it.

To their discredit, the NFL almost shot themselves in the foot, thanks to some disgraceful officiating. In fact, Brett might have scored a touchdown on the previous drive, but his large completion was called back after Mike Singletary threw the red flag on a flagrant illegal forward pass.

But there's no point in sour grapes here.

The Vikings won fair and square, and ESPN is going to have a week's worth of material talking about that one.

Great job, Brett.

That one hurt real bad, and the Niners are going to have to take it out on St. Louis hard next week before our team even begins to feel better.

But we'll get over it. We'll still see you in December. And let's even hope for a rematch.

That was one of the finest games ever played in Minnesota.

One never to be forgotten.

The Naughty New York Jets Keep Tampering With My Feelings

Bryan Goldberg — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:10:57 -0400

It's unclear whether or not the New York Jets actually contacted Michael Crabtree or his agent Eugene Parker. The NFL is currently dealing with the issue, and I will trust their leadership in the handling of the affair.

But without any further evidence required, or any judgement withstanding, I can say with complete confidence that the New York Jets are guilty of tampering with my emotions.

Part of me wants to congratulate them. And envy them. And hold them up as an example of how to manage a franchise.

Another part of me wants to kick Rex Ryan in the jimmies and call Mark Sanchez a bunch of mean names. Part of me wants to hate this organization.

As somebody who has always disdained the New York Giants—ever since they beat the 49ers in the NFC Championship with a late-game field goal—it's been great to support the other New York team.

In recent years, they seem to have done everything right. They made all the decisions that I would have made if I were their GM.

Many people were surprised when they fired Eric Mangini, I wasn't. Even though he turned that team around and won five more games in 2008 than he had in the year prior, he was a late season bust. Those coaches never win. They did what they had to do, and will be rewarded with a 12-win season this time around. Rex Ryan is a phenomenal coach. He revitalized Baltimore's defense, and I can't wait to see how he optimizes New York's AFC squad.

Moving up to take Sanchez was brilliant. He will be a unanimous Offensive Rookie of the Year. Heck, Sanchez was brilliant for leaving USC when he did, despite a bunch of mushy advice from his family and coach. Two brilliant parties team up to kick ass. What more could anybody ask for?

The way they've built a three-headed RB Corps is an awesome experiment that looks to be working out great. They buffed up their defense in the off-season, and...ok, you get it.

The Jets are frickin awesome.

I want to love this team. But then they have to go and do so many stupid things, that I really want to strangle them sometimes.

Did Mark Sanchez really have to do that photo shoot? If there's one thing I hate, it's when people celebrate before achieving victory. Sanchez has a long way to go before he can be posing with super models. Brady can do that with Gisele because he has three rings. Sanchez just looked like a huge sleaze, made a ton of guys jealous, and embraced his 'Broadway Mark' persona before taking a snap. Come on. Gimme a break.

And Rex Ryan acts like such a punk that I can scarcely believe he is an NFL coach sometimes.

When asked to comment on the Michael Crabtree situation, he said, "I wish we were playing them [the 49ers]."

What an obnoxious thing to say.

For the sake of argument, what if his team really did roll into San Francisco and utterly destroy the 49ers corps of young linebackers, or shut down the ever-classy and hard-working Frank Gore?

If these two teams met, I have no doubts that the Jets would be the favorite on the field.

But would that victory make him feel like a big man? Would that settle the score with the guys upstairs in the suits who handle the front-office politics?

Comments like that don't make Rex Ryan seem tough and determined. They make him sound like Michael Jordan at the Hall of Fame ceremony, only without the six rings to back up his smack-talk.

And as for some of the other accusations? On the surface, none of them are crimes. The league found them innocent in the Brandon Marshall dealings. The Favre injury scandal happened under Mangini, so we'll let bygones be bygones. And the Crabtree case is TBD, so we won't yet pass judgement...

...but where there's smoke, there's fire. And enough accusations eventually raise eyebrows. That's just how things work in the NFL, as in real life.

In short, the Jets are about to step onto the national stage for the first time in decades. This is the team. Sanchez is going to taste a Super Bowl one day, he may even win a few.

Now how are they going to behave themselves?

Somewhere along the line, the New England Patriots went from being the ultimate Cinderella story—perennial losers, QB out of nowhere, etc.—to being a universally reviled franchise. No NFL dynasty has ever been so disdained.

So if they are to dominate the AFC going forward, what sort of organization do they want to be?

A loud-mouthed bunch of playboys and bullies? Or a model franchise?

I want to love this team, but they make it so damn hard.

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom: A Marriage Lakers Fans Can Celebrate

Bryan Goldberg — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 20:17:20 -0400

I admit it.

There's just no way for me—a normally stoic, meat and potatoes, easily-annoyed sports fan—to hide it any longer

I'm absolutely excited about this marriage between Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom.

For those of us who have girlfriends, it's hard to go one night without being forced to watch that damn show: Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. I feel like my girlfriend even watches reruns. Or reruns of the reruns. Regardless, it never seems to go away.

Now, at least, we can expect that Lamar Odom will make some cameo appearances. How can't he? It's reality television, right? And the reality is that he is now Khloe's other half.

This means that instead of hanging out at her crappy boutique all day, we can see her chill out in the Lakers press box, schmooze with athletes, perform locker room interviews, and hopefully get some Kobe cameos.

And there's another bit of good news: Lamar Odom is one of the most entertaining athletes in all of sports.

He's no stranger to the limelight. Heck, he only plays in cities with limelights. How else do you explain two different stints in Los Angeles (separated by one sojourn in Miami)?

Lamar's love for candy, one of the weirdest celebrity quirks in recent memory, is also hilarious. He once got a championship trophy made out of candy...but nobody ever got to see him eat the damn thing. Did he ever down it? How long did it take?

These sorts of burning questions will now be answered.

And his music production company is sure to be featured prominently on the show. Maybe we can finally hear him drop a beat.

Perhaps the biggest win-win in terms of this marriage is that we can finally stop hearing Khloe talk about how "everyone thinks she's a tranny." It's such an attention grab. She is cute, and she knows it—albeit her sisters are hotter.

How on Earth can she make such self-critical comments now that she is married to a bona fide NBA super star? She can't. She'll have to move on emotionally.

Of course, the only thing better than having Lamar make more appearances on the show...or hearing Khloe stop ripping on herself...would be if she quit her job, got knocked up, and returned to a life of privacy to raise her family without cameras.

But that would just mean that my girlfriend moves on to a new show.

So I lose either way.

Better to cut my losses, celebrate this marriage, and hope that it becomes the Khloe and Lamar Show.

That would be kind of tight.

Michael Crabtree: A Mutual Divorce For The San Francisco 49ers

Bryan Goldberg — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:58:06 -0400

Perhaps Michael Crabtree was right all along.

Perhaps he was never meant to fall to No. 10 and get drafted by the 49ers.

Maybe he was meant to fall further, into the hands of a team that wanted to air out the ball and put the Texas Tech receiver on SportsCenter five or six times during the season's course.

Or, what if there's some truth to those highly-suspect rumors that this is all about Crabtree's Subway Restaurants deal—you know, the one where he has to make 10,000 receptions and notch 34 TDs this season in order to squeeze every penny from the endorsement.

Could it be that the 49ers ran their mouths too much in the pre-season, talking about Frank Gore and their smash-mouth running game?

What glitzy rookie WR would want to show up at a training camp where the work-horses get the attention that the show-horses so badly crave?

Suppose, for a moment, that the reality of the draft is finally setting in for the 49ers. There were three talented offwnaivw tackles taken before the No. 10 pick. Everyone secretly wanted Eugene Monroe, that was the need position. Crabtree was an opportunistic luxury that fell into Singletary's lap unexpectedly.

Maybe the buyer's remorse began to take effect somewhere around the time of mini-camp.

Perhaps all of those anonymous "front office officials" who are supposedly laughing at the 49ers behind closed doors for botching this negotiation, perhaps they're right to laugh.

This is a team whose coach just wants to play ball—not wear a Reebok suit on the sidelines. It's a team headed by Jed York, a kid who's too young to even remember much of the Montana glory years.

Maybe this team has more heart than business sense. Perhaps the organization is focused on the field, not the negotiation table.

Maybe that whole thing called "locker room morale" isn't such a sham. Perhaps there is such thing as inspirational leadership—you know, the type that coach Mike Singletary demonstrated late in the game against Arizona. Maybe the 49ers place a great deal of value on that intangible asset, and don't want a younger, less-proven version of T.O. to take it away from them.

It may also be the case that the 49ers have modeled their team after the Baltimore Ravens. Perhaps Shaun Hill is their Trent Dilfer, Patrick Willis is their Ray Lewis, and Frank Gore is their Jamal Lewis.

Many people forget who played WR on that Super Bowl XXXV team. He's probably some lonely, forgotten wretch. He almost certainly does not have $20 Million in cash to cheer him up.

Perhaps this whole Michael Crabtree thing was never meant to be.

Perhaps he was a bad fit for the 49ers from the start.

Perhaps he does not fit into the team that coach Singletary is trying to build, and perhaps the 49ers are not consistent with the type of glamorous 1,500-yard/16 TD performance that Crabtree wants to—and is capable—of displaying.

Perhaps this is just one of those divorces that both parties should agree to mutually, and just move on with their lives.

The 49ers can trade Crabtree a few weeks before the draft, get a mid first-rounder for him, and supplement their up-start franchise with a mind-boggling three Top 25 picks.

That actually sounds pretty good. Three picks in the first round, no diva in Singletary's locker room... Things could be much worse.

And Crabtree can fly back to Texas and play in that glamorous new stadium for Jerry Jones.

Everybody wins. It's a divorce. But it's not a painful one.

It's one that was meant to be.

San Francisco 49ers: What To Love About The Season To Date

Bryan Goldberg — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:27:46 -0400

The 49ers are 2-0? It's almost too good to be true. Reflecting upon the last two weeks, there are a lot of reasons for why the 49ers find themselves in a commanding position as they embark upon a tough-as-nails schedule.

This afternoon's game against Seattle offered one obvious explanation for their success: Frank Gore. But even No. 21's heroics would not have meant much in previous seasons, where San Francisco routinely squandered great performances and under-served their star running back.

Here are—in this writer's opinion—the five major reasons for the 49ers early success...

1. Discipline

Mike Singletary promised discipline from his first moments as a coach last year, when he memorably kicked Vernon Davis out of a game. That same work ethic is still holding strong. In a game of inches, the avoidance of stupid mistakes can be all the difference.

The reason the 49ers are 2-0 right now, is because they displayed far more discipline than Arizona in Week One, and that discrepancy in penalties turned the game in their direction.

They made a few more mistakes against Seattle, though the most critical one took place on a kick return, and from my vantage point, was a highly questionable call.

If Mike Singletary can continue to control the players on his team, expect to gain a much needed 20-30 yard edge on opponents throughout the year.

2. Health

Knock on wood. Perhaps this is good luck, or maybe it is a result of the 49ers having a young team. Either way, they are playing in a geriatric division, where the biggest stars are also some of the oldest and most brittle.

It also appears that God hath plagued the Seahawks with one misfortune after another. This doesn't fully explain the victory today over Seattle, but it more or less put a nail in the Seahawks' coffin with plenty of time on the clock.

3. The 3-4 Defense

What more can you ask for? We've got three young linebackers starting for us, as well as a reinvigorated veteran standout. One of them—Patrick Willis—is arguably the most impressive ILB in the entire NFL.

Our head coach knows how to mentor them, because he is one of the Top 5 LB's of the modern era. They continuously pull through on 3rd downs, holding their last two opponents to a combined eight conversions.

And they are sandwiched between a D-Line and a Secondary that have both exceeded expectations so far.

Let's face it. This is damn exciting.

4. Attitude, Morale, and Fight

This one may seem corny, but it is real, and it is palpable.

How many times did Mike Nolan try to "turn the team around" with a half-hearted speech in the 4th quarter?

When Singletary speaks to his men, the fans know that it will result in a turnaround.

The week after the O-Line humiliated itself, contributing to Frank Gore's least productive performance as a 49er, what happens? They respond with a massive first half. Sure, there's still room for improvement, and the fans have every reason to believe that next week will be a step up from this one.

5. Vernon Davis, Nate Clements Being Who We Thought They Were

Nate Clements was a high-priced free agent. Vernon Davis was an early First Round draft pick.

But the way they've played to date, you might not believe it.

While neither of them were 'busts' up until this season, they both fell short of the sky-high expectations that fans harbored.

Now, we are finally seeing that potential being realized.

Seattle and Arizona are both passing teams, and Clements was key in shutting down their Pro Bowl quarterbacks.

Vernon Davis has always been a great blocker, but as a TE, he has dropped passes and failed in the clutch. In the last two games, though, he has delivered on several critical third downs, one of which fell off the score sheet due to a helmet-to-helmet hit.

Regardless, this is the best that he has ever looked, and we all know who to thank for turning the diva around.

Caster Semenya Exploitation: The Most Idiotic Sports Crime of Our Time

Bryan Goldberg — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 15:03:11 -0400

We've done it!

After over 15 years of waiting, the human race has finally outdone itself in the category of Idiotic Sports Crime.

We all remember when — in January, 1994 — figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was ruthlessly beaten during the United States Figure Skating Championship in Detroit. It was idiotic, not just because of the inhumanity, but also because it was the most poorly planned assault in American history. The time and place of the attack, the identity of the assailant, the proximity to the Olympics. There was nothing less than a 100 percent chance that the attackers would be caught and held accountable for their actions.

But they did it anyhow.

It was perhaps the most atrocious and despicable act of sportsmanship that any of us had ever seen.

Until now.

News is now breaking that there is indisputable evidence linking the official national sports agency, Athletics South Africa, to knowledge of Caster Semenya's biological nature. They knew she had testicles, and they knew it before she traveled to Berlin to compete.

Let me make it clear up front. This is not Caster's fault at all. But it represents a staggering attempt by a group of leaders to not only cheat, but to try and fool the rest of the known world into believing their lie. The fact that they went ahead and humiliated a poor teenager in the process ensures that every member of that agency is sullied by this despicable crime.

So why does this stunning incident rival the Nancy Kerrigan fiasco?

Well, it's quite simple.

Just like with the Kerrigan/Harding attack, with the Caster Semenya crime the offenders were 100 percent certain to get caught. 100 percent. The South African officials must have lived on a different planet if they thought that there was any chance of duping the entire world.

And, yet, unlike with Tonya Harding's trashy friends, this crime was committed by people who were supposedly educated and capable. This is a country that is due to host sport's most high-profile event, The FIFA World Cup, in just nine months. And this is the sort of bone-headed decision making that we are to expect? They'll be lucky if the IAAF does not strip them of their membership and status as an official sporting organization.

For those of us with even a shred of human decency, this story is nothing short of heartbreaking. Not since Nancy Kerrigan's beating, or Monica Seles' stabbing a year earlier, has something so atrocious happened.

But the difference is that Nancy Kerrigan's injuries healed, and she won an Olympic medal. Monica Seles lost her career momentum, but she eventually made it back onto the court, and still went on to win an Australian Open.

Caster Semenya is injured for life.

Her wounds may be psychological rather than physical, but that doesn't make it less painful. No person is capable of overcoming that sort of public invasion into their privacy. Especially not a teenager who has been completely exploited.

Athletics South Africa has almost undoubtedly committed the worst sports crime in modern history. They have victimized a teenager for their own gain, and they have done so with a level of sloppiness that borders on utter insanity.

This one is a heart-breaker.

Mel Kiper's Wrong: Michael Crabtree Won't Be a First Rounder

Bryan Goldberg — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 14:05:49 -0400

"With the 21st Pick in the 1998 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...Randy Moss!"

Those words should be haunting Michael Crabtree right now.

If Mel Kiper, or Crabtree's deadbeat cousin, or Eugene Parker, or any other delusional dreamers think that he has a snowball's chance of becoming a top 10 pick in the 2010 NFL Draft...all they need to do is remember the quote above.

Let's revisit the year 1998, shall we?

There was no doubting Randy Moss's talent. In fact, he had many parallels to Crabtree.

Like Michael Crabtree, he was a top Heisman candidate—Moss finished in fourth place. Also like Crabtree, Moss came from a school that wasn't exactly a perennial BCS contender (Marshall). Finally, Moss had a "full of myself" reputation that was highlighted when he worse sunglasses to the Heisman ceremony.

And like Michael Crabtree, Randy Moss was supposed to be a top pick.

Many analysts expected Moss to join the Cowboys, who held the No. 8 pick in the draft. Even that would have been a slide down the draft board. His talent was clearly Top Five potential.

But because of his attitude and his off-field issues, Moss fell to No. 21. His episode with marijuana and a domestic violence rap cost him untold millions of dollars.

That's where the two stories part. Moss accepted the money that he was offered, became a rookie sensation, and put himself on the right track. Crabtree wants his reward before making a single NFL reception.

The reason we must examine this story is because it shows how seriously teams treat bad apples. They don't want to touch them. They don't want to look at them. They don't want to waste their brain power even thinking about them.

And here's another dirty little secret...

...GM's can forgive drug use or domestic violence. They will NEVER tolerate crimes that affect their financial statements.

If Randy Moss had held out the 1998 season and re-entered the draft, he would have fallen to the fifth round. Guaranteed.

Mel Kiper's argument that Crabtree will go Top 12 next year is so asinine that it's hard to know where to begin. I'll make three simple points to counter his sensationalistic attention grab:

* If teams wanted him so bad, he wouldn't have fallen to No. 10 in the 2009 Draft. There were two other teams in between the Raiders (No. 7) and the 49ers (No. 10) who felt that Crabtree's skills did not make him valuable enough to obviate their positional needs. If he was really that good, he would have gone to the Packers at No. 9.

Oh, and 2010 is a much more loaded draft than 2009, so it only gets harder.

* There is no position where conditioning and attitude matter more than WR. Let's face it, if a receiver loses a step, or even a half-step, he's done. Falling out of shape is the death knell for a wide receiver, even one of unmatched talent. Just ask Charles Rogers. Crabtree will have missed a year of top-tier conditioning (and no, catching passes from Shaun Hill doesn't count).

Let's not even get started on attitude problems. Is there any position in sports that is more susceptible to attitude problems than wide receiver? Nope. T-O, Ochocinco, Keyshawn Johnson, the aforementioned Detroit Lions bust.

Wide receivers drive teams nuts, and Crabtree is looking like he has studied his predecessors well.

*Risk. Risk. Risk. Risk. GMs hate taking unnecessary risk. There is more to lose than to gain. Making a seemingly good draft pick and having that pick turn into a bust...that's bad. Picking somebody who has existing red flags and having that guy bust? That is career-ending for a GM.

There is no chance that Crabtree will be a top 10 Pick. He probably won't be a first rounder. And because Al Davis clearly doesn't like him, he may not get taken in the early second round either.

If he thinks that the three reasons above are not convincing, he should hop on the phone with Randy Moss.

Kanye West Interrupts Charlie Weis' Postgame Excuse Session

Bryan Goldberg — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:55:01 -0400

Hip Hop mogul Kanye West has been forced to issue a public apology after scandalously interrupting Charlie Weis' post-game excuse session, following Notre Dame's devastating loss to Michigan.

Football fans appeared stunned by the incident, which came in the midst of one of Weis' finest-ever passings of the buck.

The heavily criticized moment took place eight minutes into Weis' post-game interview, when a visibly steamed Kanye West appeared from behind a curtain to interject.

"Hey Ya'll," West shouted to the audience, "I know 'dat the Domers be all perturbed about the officiating, but, come on, man… Tate Forcier had one of the best games of all time! Everybody knows what happened. No disrespect to Charlie, but this press conference be all redundant and shit."

The visibly stunned crowd, who had waited anxiously for Charlie Weis to blame his poor performance on a wide array of other people and misfortunes, responded with loud boos and a wave of hissing.

Weis tried to regain the spotlight by digging deep into his bag of half-assed, shoddy excuses, to see if he could find any additional reasons for why his team squandered such a great opportunity.

"Yes, as I already mentioned, Forcier was great. But that was one of at least twenty reasons why this game should not be held against me, or my reputation as an offensive genius."

"Did you know," Weis added, "that the statistical likelihood of a team like Michigan having two straight losing seasons is only 1 to 500? With those odds, my guys were walking into a nearly impossible situation. You can't blame us for that. You can't blame any team for losing that one."

In an appearance on The View, the Grammy-winning musician admitted that he is a big fan of Charlie Weis' legendary ability to keep a job while simultaneously losing every single meaningful game that he coaches.

"Hey, all I'm saying, is that if I put out five or six records, and none of them be achieving platinum status, then my ass is done. Done. How he be keeping his ass in check after losing to Ohio State, USC on three different occasions…Syracuse. Damn, Syracuse. That man talk his way out of ANYTHING."

Though he has not formally accepted Kanye West's apology, Charlie Weis has noted that he will not take the incident personally.

"Look, the circumstances are what they are. The kid [Forcier] had a great day. Any coach can make excuses when the opposition plays that well. I get that. But you have to realize that even under such circumstances, the best coaches can find little-known trivium and scenario analysis for which the loss is to blame. I'm prepared for any situation. If Forcier throws four interceptions, and we still lose, I've still got ten great excuses. Can Rich Rodriguez do the same?"

Many other coaches have reached out to support Charlie Weis.

Former Notre Dame Head Coach Tyrone Willingham was one of the first to praise his successor.

"That Kanye West is a jackass. Everybody knew about Forcier. Everybody knew how to explain that loss. But the classy move is to let the guy [Weis] finish his speech regardless. There's a reason why he still has his job. It's because he has recruited one excellent class of PR assistants and media representatives after another."

Scout Inc. has consistently rated Notre Dame in the top five for their recruiting of Front Office Hacks, Kool-Aid Drinking Boosters, and Catholic Massholes with Money.

Kanye West will appear on Jay Leno during tonight's broadcast and is expected to apologize to Weis in person.

Michael Crabtree's Agent Has Gone Too Far, Betraying His "Brother"

Bryan Goldberg — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:13:36 -0400

Eugene Parker is a smart man. He is a great agent, an astonishing businessman, and he is a recognized leader in the African-American community.

But he isn't God—and, right now, he doesn't even look like a man of God.

For a man who claims to be unwavering in his religious values, Eugene Parker is committing a terrible sin. He is brainwashing and ruining the career of a young man who does not know any better.

While it's true that Michael Crabtree is also receiving bad advice from his deadbeat cousin, the truth is that Eugene Parker is a titan in the NFL, and he clearly has both of Crabtree's ears.

So why isn't he encouraging Crabtree to sign?

It's simple. All logic suggests that Eugene Parker is currently engaged in a grand experiment of sorts, with the Texas Tech receiver serving as his guinea pig.

Parker is famous for having innovated highly lucrative contracts for his star players, but if he were to succeed in his latest quest—breaking the unwritten NFL Draft slotting rules—he will become a legend.

In the eyes of Parker, Crabtree is nothing more than an "interesting opportunity." Rarely has the NFL seen a talent like Crabtree fall this far down the Draft Board.

The perception that Crabtree fell too far is accepted by some. The notion that he should get paid Top Five money? Universally ridiculed.

What does Parker have to lose if he fails in his fun little experiment? Nothing.

Eugene Parker is a multi-multi-multi-millionaire, whose client list is nothing short of breathtaking. Among other stars, he represents: Larry Fitzgerald, Steven Jackson, and Derrick Brooks. He has represented several Hall of Fame players in the past.

Let's not mince words here. Eugene Parker could retire tomorrow, misplace $10 million, and not even notice a difference in his lifestyle. He's filthy rich.

But guess who has a little less money right now?

Unsigned rookie Michael Crabtree.

If Michael Crabtree were to accidentally trip and fall down the stairs tomorrow (heaven forbid), and never play a game in the NFL, he would be living off insurance for the rest of his sad life.

He has no college degree, so forget about a second career. He has no good will, so forget a life in public speaking.

In short, Eugene Parker is putting his own interests—the desire to become an agent of (even more) legend—ahead of Crabtree's.

Meanwhile, the real losers are Crabtree, and we the fans who were so excited when the Niners took a chance on him at No. 10.

I may not be a model of a pious man, but I have enough common sense to know a charlatan and a sinner when I see one.

Eugene Parker, if you are reading this, you are betraying your brother. You are wickedly putting yourself before your client, and you are toying with somebody who trusts you.

Crabtree must take responsibility for himself, he is a grownup. But barely. And you are misleading him.

Good luck explaining this act of selfishness and greed to your creator, you filthy hypocrite.

"It is easier for a camel to get through a eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." - Mark 14:25

Golden Hate: Michael Crabtree, Richard Seymour First Humans to Dislike Bay Area

Bryan Goldberg — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:06:30 -0400

San Francisco's reputation as the only city on the planet that nobody dislikes was officially called into question this afternoon, effectively ending a 160-year streak of general popularity.

Former Texas Tech WR Michael Crabtree and recently acquired Oakland Raiders DE Richard Seymour have both expressed passive-aggressive disdain for the City by the Bay, thus obviating its reputation for unquestioned likability.

"He just doesn't want to be here," explained former 49er great Steve Young, when asked to comment on Crabtree's refusal to sign a contract.

If true, Michael Crabtree will be the first person—ever—to hate on San Francisco.

Not to be outdone by its more famous cross-Bay neighbor, Oakland has responded in kind by unleashing Richard Seymour into the prima donna cadre.

Insiders report that both Crabtree and Seymour are committed to their disdain, and Crabtree's agent has reported that the college standout will not be moved by the following Bay Area virtues:

* Fantastic weather that is totally devoid of snow and hail, with perhaps 15 rainy days a year, and nothing but sunshine thereafter.

* A laid-back attitude in which B.S. is cut out of the equation and good ideas help drive an innovation economy.

* The best burritos on earth. Even better than in Mexico.

* Hot European tourists who come here in hopes of discovering a "Free Love" culture that hasn't existed in 40 years.

* Beaches, Wine Country, and Tahoe—all within a four-hour drive of each other. Like seriously. God put all those awesome things in one place. And to think that he didn't give any of Russia's eight time zones jack sh*t.

* Pebble Beach, Cypress Point, the Olympic Club, and a ton of other great golf courses for when you retire rich—and, yes, Mr. Crabtree, $20 million is considered rich.

* Nerds from Stanford and Berkeley who invent awesome stuff for us to use and then crawl back into their caves.

* ...And much, much, more!

Michael Crabtree has already gone on the record to say that, in an ideal situation, he would have been drafted higher. More specifically, he wishes that he could live in one of the following cities: Detroit, St. Louis, Kansas City, Cincinnati, or Jacksonville.

Should Crabtree fail to sign with the 49ers and re-enter the draft en route to an eventual third round selection, it will stand as evidence that, for the first time ever, somebody showed up in San Francisco and determined that they hated it there.

Football analysts continue to speculate that there is no way Michael Crabtree has partied at the bar Medjool in San Francisco's Mission District, or else he would be "completely sold" on the city. If true, then it is also highly unlikely that he has eaten at either El Ferolito or Taqueria Cancun, further erasing hopes of getting the sophomore standout addicted to his currently temporary home.

"At this point, we have to assume that he hasn't rented a lakeside house in Tahoe," explained Jon Gruden, "because anybody who does that could never hate on Cali."

Gruden also pointed out that Crabtree's current net worth of zero dollars would make it difficult to afford a boat.

Famed NFL coach John Madden, himself a California transplant, added that he "feels bad for anybody who hates getting laid," noting that San Francisco's many liberal girls have convinced themselves that sluttiness is better referred to as "open-mindedness" or "empowerment."

Those with knowledge of the conflict have set Saturday as the unofficial deadline for Crabtree to get his sh*t together and sign the damn contract.

Should he choose to forgo a contract, Crabtree will force thousands of San Francisco yuppies to exclaim, "What? Is he serious? I mean, seriously?! No... No way..."

Sam Bradford Injury: The "Told You So" We Never Wanted

Bryan Goldberg — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 19:20:16 -0400

This is the exact scenario that many people — myself included — hoped and prayed would never come to pass.

Several months ago, I got into several debates about Sam Bradford's decision to forgo the NFL Draft, in which he was a certain first round pick, if not the No. 1 pick.

People like me, who believed that he would have been taken in place of Matthew Stafford, criticized the decision as ill-advised. His desire to lead the Oklahoma Sooners to a national championship, and win another Heisman Trophy, was respectable, but not enough to outweigh $40 million in guaranteed income.

Furthermore, I argued that sure-fire picks do not automatically retain such a status. Just think about Matt Leinart, who would have been the 49ers No. 1 pick, but returned to USC and ultimately fell to No. 10 in the subsequent draft. Or how about Drew Brees? His NFL career has panned out beautifully, but he was drafted much lower after returning for one final year at Purdue.

My point was a simple one. Bradford was passing on a relatively weak QB crop — one that, at the time, did not yet include eventual No. 5 pick Mark Sanchez. To make matters worse, he was going to go head-to-head in the 2010 Draft with the likes of Tim Tebow, Colt McCoy, and Jimmy Clausen. From the perspective of a financial planner, it was economic suicide.

During that time, other writers chastised me as being too narrow minded. They said that one can never put a price tag on Heisman glory, a college education, and one last shot at a national title.

But then, here we are less than a year later, and what does Bradford have to show for his $40 million forgone?

He will not win the Heisman.

He will not get a crack at the National Championship.

He will probably not be a Top 10 NFL Draft Pick, a misfortune that will cost him tens of millions of dollars.

So, now that I can look back with 20/20 hindsight vision, and declare that I was correct, does this make me feel even slightly good about myself?

Absolutely not.

I feel terrible for Bradford, and this was the scenario that I was praying to avoid.

For the moment, I'm just hopeful that his injury prognosis affords him the opportunity to throw again before October. I'd still love to see the Sooners in a Bowl game with Bradford at the helm.

And do you know what else I hope for?

I hope that future college heroes learn from Sam Bradford's misfortune, and seize the opportunity to go pro when the perfect opening presents itself.

There are a lot of people in America right now who are seeking an honest day's wages.

UFC 102: Randy Couture Overshadows Disappointments by Demian Maia, Chris Leben

Bryan Goldberg — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:37:12 -0400

Demian Maia, I hope you're happy.

You made me and all of my beginning jiu jitsu classmates cry.

Heading into the main event, UFC 102 was dangerously close to becoming the most underwhelming evening in the history of the octagon.

But those of us crass enough to doubt The Natural were quickly reminded why the Hall of Famer should never be second-guessed.

He saved the night. Plain and simple.

UFC 102 was never intended to be a huge event. It was headlined by what was essentially an exhibition match, and there were no five-rounders or big names outside of the headliners.

And because it was so vividly defined by some very high high's, and some very low low's, let's break it down in that manner.

UFC 102 High Points

Randy Couture refuses to be submitted

Even though he was handily defeated by decision, one had to stand up and admire the resiliency of a man who's used to fighting for five rounds, and was certainly going no fewer than three.

Given the disappointing outcome of several undercard performances, the entire night's success rested on The Natural's time-tested shoulders.

And he gave everybody the show they wanted.

Todd Duffee wins in seven seconds

This was evidently the shortest fight in UFC history, so this was not a high point from an entertainment standpoint.

But one has to hand it to Duffee, who made mince meat pie out of a respectable opponent. Duffee gave his audience every reason to believe that he wanted to win this so badly that a victory was practically inevitable.

The "fight" itself was a mere formality. At only 23, he is one to watch.

Ed Herman fights like a pro—from his back

Just like in the main event, viewers of the Herman versus Simpson fight were treated to a great performance by the eventual loser.

Before casting away all regard for his health amid a grueling knee injury, Ed Herman fought so mightily from his back that Aaron Simpson never really initiated much of a grappling game.

UFC 102 Low Points

Demian Maia makes every Jiu Jitsu enthusiast cry

What else can one say?

This was the fight that many spectators were most looking forward to seeing. This is not to take away from Marquardt, who landed a nasty strike before Maia could even think about taking him to the ground.

But for this fight to end as soon as it did, without seeing either of the two BJJ black belts take to the ground—it was pure MMA tragedy.

The Crippler takes a nap

Remember when GSP rode into his home town of Montreal and put on a show for the ages?

Yeah, this wasn't quite as memorable.

Chris Leben is a well-liked fighter who held his own on a night defined by quick endings. Jake Rosholt was the better fighter, and it was hard to imagine that the home crowd would offer enough to give The Crippler an edge.

But still, it's sad to see anyone get submitted in front of his friends and family. And double-jeers to the official who was way too slow in ending the fight.

Nate Marquardt makes Anderson Silva laugh

Well, it wasn't quite a laugh—more like a dismissive chuckle.

It seemed as if Nate himself didn't believe the lackluster trash talk coming out of his own mouth. He exhibited very little class, which is a shame, considering that he is a tremendous fighter who is, if anything, underrated.

If he does get the opportunity to fight Silva, then he will have earned it. But when Anderson clinches the life out of him, well, he will have earned that too.

A Polish Experiment in boring me

Please don't let this take away from Brandon Vera's fine performance. The Filipino-American executed well by leveraging a diverse set of skills. He truly embodied the spirit of MMA tonight.

But his opponent did little more than look the part—and that he did. Soszynski was a fill-in who was not favored to win.

To his credit, he survived until the end. But that was only because he failed to put much gusto into what was certainly the opportunity of a lifetime.

For those of us who were considering a trip to Portland, it was probably worth saving a few hundred bucks. Heck, there was a point in which I felt like holding a memorial service for the $44.99 that the undercard came nowhere close to justifying.

But good old Randy Couture sent me to bed feeling good about the night.

San Francisco 49ers: The Draft Experts Are Wrong!

Bryan Goldberg — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:20:07 -0400

Based upon the "consensus" view from the so-called draft experts, the San Francisco 49ers continued their losing ways by executing poorly in this year's draft.

USA Today gave them a "D+" while grading guru Pete Prisco doled out a similarly lackluster "C-" for the weekend.

Was I watching the same draft as these guys?

By the time I turned off my television on Saturday evening, my thoughts immediately turned to Coors Light and champagne, and a night of celebratory dancing was fast approaching on my horizon. After all, we 49ers fans have almost forgotten what it means to have a hugely successful afternoon.

Saturday, April 25 was a hugely successful afternoon.

Let me begin my defense of this statement by first offering a word of caution. I think that the "professional" Draft Gurus are usually full of hot air. They focus way too much on their assessment of the late rounds.

Why?

Because they like to show off how much they know.

By taking a strong stance on their opinion of the eighth highest-rated wide receiver, and congratulating (or jeering) whichever team selects that player in the fifth round, the "professional" analysts can make themselves feel important and knowledgeable.

And while I'll be the first to agree that late-round miracles like Tom Brady do happen occasionally, the vast majority of top-tier talent comes in the first two rounds.

In fact, five of this season's six top passers were taken in the top 32, and the league's brightest young talent—Jay Cutler, Matt Ryan, and Joe Flacco—were also first rounders.

So, while I'll be the first to agree that the 49ers didn't set themselves apart with Sunday's selections—with the possible exception of Scott McKillop—a real Draft "guru" should be smart enough to say "Who cares?"

The Niners hit the nail on the head in the first two rounds, and I'll gladly base 90 percent of my score on those rounds.

My grade? A+.

As a loyal 49er fan, I was shocked when they took Crabtree at No. 10. It was the first time in several years that I have seen them do the sensible thing when given an obvious decision.

How did this man fall so far? It was almost the thing of dreams. It required a little bit of craziness—courtesy of Al Davis—as well as some convenient differences in strategic needs.

One must be truly thankful that Green Bay had already wrapped their minds around B.J. Raji, as the temptation must have been significant.

His free fall was also a result of group-think. A reasonably minor foot injury? That spooked a few suitors.

Unsubstantiated rumblings about a supposed "attitude problem"? His own coach from Texas Tech vehemently denies such a thing.

The last time the "draft experts" used that logic on a receiver was for Randy Moss, who fell to the late first round as a result of supposed "behavioral problems." Guess how that played out.

The short of it is that nine NFL teams convinced themselves out of taking Crabtree, and now the 49ers have themselves arguably the most talented, and certainly the most explosive, player in the draft.

Oh, and they are going to pay him substantially less than $72 million.

What about the second round?

Like most 49ers fans, my heart was racing in the picks leading up to No. 43, in hopes that Everette Brown would remain available.

He was the best available player, and ostensibly fit our needs at DE. When the decision was made to trade the pick, I was a bit surprised, but this is a situation where I do trust that the organization listened to Singletary, a man who would have had every incentive to make that pick were he confident in the Florida State prospect's talent.

And the trade itself was a steal.

Historically, a second and third rounder usually equates to a first rounder, all else being equal. San Francisco only gave up a second and fourth.

What's more, a pick in 2010 will be far more valuable than a pick in the reasonably weak class of 2009.

The Panthers have to be awfully cocky to assume that they will be playoff-worthy next year. Having seen them play quite a few games last year, I am not nearly as confident as their front office. I expect this to be a top 20 pick next April.

I fully understand that some critics will talk about urgency—and yes, the team needs to fill a lot of holes right now. But the strategic value of having two first rounders in what will be a very deep 2010 draft is simply too powerful to ignore.

I'm even slightly optimistic that one of the picks can be leveraged in acquiring a real QB (possibly a certain under-appreciated youngster from Cleveland).

Any way you look at it, the so-called experts are wrong about the 49ers. They had the best first round bargain of any team, and made a sensible move to gain footing in next year's vastly superior draft.

And that earns them a "D+"

Give me a break.

This was a weekend worth celebrating.

Bailout, Stimulus, and Economic Recovery: The Sports Version

Bryan Goldberg — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 21:30:56 -0500

Given that our Treasury Secretary is out of ideas for how to magically erase trillions of dollars in toxic financial assets, it's time that we bring fresh blood into this bailout. The world of Sports has rarely turned its back on the everyday American or created a wedge between themselves and those who support them... so they are the perfect candidate to fix America. This slideshow carefully lays out seven potential candidates to fix our Economy, and gives an overview of their approach and why they would be the best candidate. Hopefully these sports leaders will prove more successful than their counterparts on Wall Street or in Washington.

Begin Slideshow

Michael Phelps a Victim of Inexcusable Media Junk Reporting

Bryan Goldberg — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 11:42:45 -0500

The Michael Phelps controversy is not a trivial one. It is not a joke, nor is it a big deal. It's not disappointing, and it's not something that inspires pride.

The Michael Phelps controversy isn't anything. Because it's not even a controversy. It's nothing.

We shouldn't be talking about it. It shouldn't be in the news. He shouldn't be losing sponsors over it, and he shouldn't have to answer any questions.

I shouldn't be writing this article, and Bleacher Report shouldn't have to publish it.

None of this makes sense. If it weren't such a cliché, I would use the very words: "Leave Michael Phelps alone!"

For those who don't know this story, let me sum it up concisely. Phelps was at a private party with a group of his personal friends. He went into a private back room, somebody offered him a hit of weed, and he took it.

Then, some Judas-like backstabbing nonentity of a loser took a photo of it without telling him, and uploaded it to the Web.

What kind of world do we want to live in? A world where hard-working people with private lives have to answer for the actions of jackass losers with camera phones?

Do you know who should be under the gun right now? That dweeb with the iPhone who took the picture of Phelps and tried to destroy a winner's life.

Every member of the media needs to think about his or her actions before condemning, or even shining a condemning light, on Phelps. How would they feel if somebody snuck into their bedrooms while they were living their private lives, and took a picture of some incriminating act?

Heck, certain forms of sex are illegal in some states—how would they feel if somebody snuck a photo of them engaged in such an act? Would they want the media debating their actions and treating them like crud?

In the hierarchy of crimes, smoking pot is pretty low. Does that excuse it? Not exactly. But at a time when famous athletes are using performance-enhancing drugs, beating their wives, killing people/animals, and carrying concealed weapons as though they were Burberry scarfs...I can let Michael's crime go.

And I don't even want to get into the sociological suggestions that this media coverage solicits. Swimming is a sport traditionally embraced by people with above-average financial means, and is strongly represented by Caucasians. Are we suggesting that swimmers are held to a different standard because it's a "rich white kid" sport?

The media may not be stating that explicitly, but their implications are obvious to anyone paying attention.

So, yes, this whole damn thing is a joke, and any member of the media who profits off Michael Phelps' "downfall" deserves to lose his job. Because as soon as such writers gain a measure of success, they will not hold themselves to the same standards that they expect of men like Phelps.

Inauguration Special: Greatest Speeches In Sports' History

Bryan Goldberg — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 16:44:59 -0500

On Tuesday afternoon, Americans will be treated to a speech that will set the tone for the next four year's of our nation's leadership. So what better time to reflect upon some of the great speeches that the world of sports have given us? What's great about sports speeches is that their contexts can vary so much. Some take place at press conferences, some take place in locker rooms, some take place on the field, and some take place in movies. Here I've highlighted a select few that I think defined either the person or the era. Feel free to chime in if you can think of one that I missed.

Begin Slideshow

Tony Dungy Worship Has Gone Too Far

Bryan Goldberg — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:25:42 -0500

This is the second time in as many years that I have had to write this article.

And, hopefully, I will not have to write it again.

But given how irrational the mainstream media acts when they discuss Tony Dungy, it's hard to know for sure...

Tony Dungy is a very good — though probably not 'great' — football coach.

He has won a Super Bowl, on the backs of superstars he did not draft, and has generally underperformed in the Post-Season. His tenure with Tampa Bay was successful, but another man was brought in to finish the job.

There is no argument to be made for him being a Top 10 all-time coach. I'd put him in the Top 25, though many would not, and they would have perfectly valid arguments. They might start with the fact that he has never been named Coach of the Year.

It is notable that he was the first African-American coach to win a Super Bowl, but other men have broken much larger racial barriers in recent years, both on the field (Art Shell) and off the field (Barack Obama).

In short, Tony Dungy is deserving of about as much respect as any other "very good" coach. His send-off deserves to be on par with Mike Shanahan's. How unfortunate that the former is leaving on his own dignified terms, while the latter was sacked.

And that is really the point of this article.

Stop treating Tony Dungy like he is the patron saint of great coaching.

This afternoon, after a friend mentioned the news to me, I dreaded the obnoxiously overdone tributes that I would find on the front page of the major sports networks. But Chris Mortensen exceeded even my greatest nightmares:

It was late Saturday night and the words flowed from Tony Dungy's lips like water from a spring. He was quoting his favorite book; not his best-selling "Quiet Strength," but, naturally, the Bible.

"I'm at a point, kind of like the Apostle Paul," explained Dungy, "he said, 'If I live, it's good. If I die and go home with the Lord, it's better.'"

Give me a break.

The first quote from Dungy is a self-comparisson to the apostle Paul!?

I was expecting all the tributes to figuratively compare him to a saint... not literally compare him to one. And if Dungy is a saint, then he surely does not embody the virtue of humility.

Although, we already knew that based on the title of his own memoir, "Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices, and Priorities of a Winning Life."

So it sounds like I have a problem with Dungy. Actually, I don't.

I've got a problem with the way people who aren't Tony Dungy talk about Tony Dungy.

He's got plenty to be proud of. Every NFL coach does. Every Super Bowl winner is particularly notable. He has accomplished a million times more than I have.

But why can't we honor him with the type of praise that accurately reflects his level of accomplishment? Why was the headline about his retirement — "Mission Accomplished!" — so triumphantly displayed, as though he had not just lost in the first round of the playoffs?

And if he truly heeds the word of Christ — and I believe firmly that he does — then why must the media do for him that which his Lord would frown upon? Why can't we thank him for a job well done in Indy, and not recount his life story, laud his piety, and cite all the charities with which he affiliates (as though other, lesser coaches don't involve themselves in non-profit work and church life).

I conclude with a passage from Matthew 6:

1	Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: Mt. 23.5 otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2	¶ Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3	But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4	that thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

Tony Dungy, the man, the mortal, deserves to be treated with a level of respect on par with what he has done in his life.

The stories we read in the mainstream media are not in line with his objective level of accomplishment on the field, and the praise he receives for off-the-field work is almost ironically out of line with the very message he espouses.

Peyton Manning's MVP Sham: Players Who Deserved It More

Bryan Goldberg — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:07:51 -0500

I'm not going to write an elegant argument for why Peyton Manning's selection as MVP is a sham. Rather, I would l like to create an argument in favor of several other men — deserving men. The saddest part of Manning's mock victory is that he was the winner by default in a year where voters had so many GREAT choices. So many players stepped up this year. So many good players turned into fantastic players... ... and none of them earned their recognition. So, in honor of the REAL MVP's, I have created this list of athletes who inspired their teams all season long, and better defined the term "most valuable."

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Sean Avery Was Right About The NHL, and They Know It

Bryan Goldberg — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:02:27 -0500

Sean Avery is right about a lot of things, and the NHL knows it.

It's ironic that he plays for a team called the "Stars", because the NHL has proven itself totally incapable of creating anything resembling a true household name.

Maybe in Elisha Cuthbert's home country, Canada, it's common for beautiful women to throw themselves at hockey players. But here in the United States, most girls could name, at most, one player in the history of the sport.

"Wasn't Wayne Gretzky a hockey player?"

Meanwhile, even my mom knows who Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant, and even Tony Parker are. Sure, it's not always because of their athletic accomplishments, but they are still celebrities in her eyes — no different than a popular actor or musician.

Sean Avery, a below-average hockey player on a lackluster team, is about to become the most famous athlete on ice. The NHL seems to have a problem with it, because they don't want their league to appear on the pages of Perez Hilton or any other pop culture rag. But there's a reason why pop culture exists:

Because it sells.

The concept of a talented athlete vs. a famous athlete is nothing new. Great champions like Pete Sampras and Tim Duncan frequently shun attention, probably to their own financial detriment. That's fine, it's a personal decision. The NHL's job is to make money. It is a business. That's different. They have an obligation to make money.

And when it comes to the business side of things, the league can't make up its mind on anything. Are fights good for the sport? Do 'bad boys' do their leagues' a favor? Is it worth appearing atop the sports page by any means possible? Can teams garner the attention of fans in busy places like California and Texas?

When people begin to know players' backstories, it makes it much more likely that fans will have a reason to pay attention. Feuds are good. Trash talk is good. Interesting backstories are great. Ever wonder why that marketing machine known as the Olympics has pre-recorded backstories on hand for every single member of the USA team? Because sports is about personality.

Nobody likes it when athletes dope, beat their wives, or commit serious crimes. But turning the league into something of a soap opera is exactly what PR agencies are meant to do. They squeeze the personality out of people, even when there isn't much personality to work with. Do you think that Nicole Richie became famous due to her singing voice?

Let me make something clear: I would have NO interest in watching the basement-dwelling Stars play against a team located in a desolate place like Calgary. But you better believe that I will check out this matchup the next time it happens, as I want to see Dion Phaneuf beat the daylights out of Avery. Or vice-versa, I don't really care. I want a fight. I want to tell my friends about it the next day at work.

The Sharks have the cup wrapped up, so please give me some other reason to watch this sport! A flat-faced Sean Avery would be delightful, thank you.

I hope that the next time a team owner or NHL official uses the word "integrity" to describe their goals, they think about the cost of that very concept. Integrity is swell. But not at the cost of millions, perhaps billions, in future revenue.

Sean Avery will be famous, and therefore rich, well after his undistinguished career reaches its conclusion.

I can't wait to see what other stunts NHL players pull when they realize this truth.

If Barack Obama's Cabinet Were Full of Athletes

Bryan Goldberg — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 12:10:08 -0500

Over the coming weeks, President-Elect Obama has been putting together his team of rivals to lead our nation. But what if he were to undertake this critical process with a slight caveat: Only professional athletes are eligible to hold office. Who would he pick? Which men would govern our nation? This lists sets forth the most obvious and qualified candidates for each of our nation's Executive offices...

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American League MVP: Top 10 Candidates

Bryan Goldberg — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 05:43:32 -0500

Few years have seen a race that is this wide open. The 2008 American League MVP race has no fewer than ten solid candidates, and nobody has the slightest clue who the "real favorite" is going to be. This year is distinguished by three interesting developments: First, numbers are down across the board. Way down. No player in the American League was able to hit 40 HR — a shocking development to say the least. Second, the National League was far better this year, and several players from it would have easily won the award if they were competing in the American League pool Finally, most of the top candidates find themselves sharing the spotlight with a teammate. In fact, of the ten players most likely to win, six of them are joined by someone else from their squad. This will make things difficult for some of the most statistically impressive hitters. With that in mind, here are the ten best candidates to pick from. They are listed in reverse order of who is most deserving.

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Decade's Best: Ten Athletes to Build a Team Around

Bryan Goldberg — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 15:39:03 -0500

Let's face it — being the GM of our favorite team would be the ultimate dream job. But with great power comes great responsibility, and one of the most difficult challenges any GM faces is to actually build a coherent team. This decade has seen a lot of GM's with deep pockets who simply cannot figure out how to get high-priced stars to play well together. And it's usually because they do not pick the right players. This slideshow aims to honor those athletes of this decade who have put up good numbers and actually delivered results where they were most noticeable: in the win column. Without further ado, here's the list of this decade's Best Players to Build a Team Around.

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Charlie Weis Injury: Are People Really Laughing About This?

Bryan Goldberg — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 10:46:34 -0400

Let me begin by saying that I find nothing funny about petty slapstick humor.

Sure, I thought that the movie Home Alone was great, but that was back when I was a child who had never set foot in a hospital. Now, I think it's just dumb when someone laughs at an injury, even in a film.

And, yet, I couldn't help but shrug when all my friends started laughing their assess off when it was announced that:

"Charlie Weis has suffered a torn ACL."

And I have to imagine that my friends were not alone in so doing. Surely, across the country, fans of all sorts had to chuckle in disbelief when the Irish skipper hobbled off the field.

But why is this ok???

Is it because coaches aren't supposed to suffer torn ACL's?

Is it because Charlie Weis is the last person you'd think about when it comes to athletic prowess?

Was his portly stature to blame?

My theory is that Notre Dame fans have to be ecstatic about their team's first half performance, and Michigan faithful are equally anxious for something to console their disappointment. This leads to an equation whereby a sense of humor is precisely what the doctor ordered in either case (along with several months of physical therapy).

And given how sharp Jimmy Clausen looked, after spending nearly a year on the Bust Watch List, one has to imagine that even Charlie will sleep well tonight, even if it's in a South Bend hospital bed.

So, in summary, I am going to go ahead and let my friends off the hook for their obnoxious and insensitive laughter.

If Charlie's not complaining, then who am I to argue?

Alicia Sacramone: The Gymnast of My Dreams

Bryan Goldberg — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:26:18 -0400

UPDATE: My enthusiasm has not diminished whatsoever after the finals of the Team Competition tonight. Alicia has one silver medal more than anyone else I know, and she was the only girl on the floor who came across as human. She's still numero uno!

Alright, I admit it.

I've got quite a crush on gymnastics star Alicia Sacramone, and rather than try to hide it like a bashful sixth grader, I'm going to go ahead and broadcast this exciting news to the entire Bleacher Report readership.

So, what is so special about this girl? Why is it that I am writing my first article in months simply to declare my affection for her?

Let me count the ways...

1. She Is As Modest As They Come

Just check out The Alicia Sacramone Fan Site—aliciasacramone.com—and see for yourself. What do visitors find when they arrive at her eponymous homepage?

Nothing.

In fact, we are all greeted with the simple message: "Nothing here any more."

It's like she doesn't even need to brag about her accomplishments. While most Olympic athletes can't stop promoting themselves, Alicia just wants you to know that she is really into Nihilism.

2. She's Presumably Italian

What's in a name?

Well, when a girl's last name alludes to a nation full of romance, zesty cuisine, and fashionable suits that you can buy straight out of some guy's used Fiat, what isn't there to like?

Star-crossed romance between Jews like me and Italians like her has long been thwarted by feuding parents, who just can't come to terms over which side invented the deli. But opposites attract.

Not since that awesome moment in Sopranos Season Two—when Tony's badass henchman Furio went crazy with a baseball bat—have I been so into Italian culture.

And if this explanation of my passion is slightly tinged with bad stereotypes, then I apologize in advance. I never meant to hurt you, Alicia.

3. She Is Going to be An Awesome Mother One Day

Alright, before everyone freaks out over this one, let's make something clear. A boyish crush is a long, long way from tying the knot, much less siring a litter of half gymnast/half best-website-ever founders.

But if somebody wants to get a sense of what kind of role model and support beacon she can be, all they have to do is watch her lead the squad of younger gymnasts.

She's barely 20, but by gymnastics standards, that puts her firmly in the older generation. Her teammates count on her to be a role model, as she is imbued with the knowledge of what it's like to do grownup things... like see an R-rated movie without parental supervision.

Sunday's first round of competition was not easy for the USA gals. They faced a lot of unforeseen challenges, and got off to a tough start. But she delivered on the vault and balance beam, and set the pace for the rest of the team to come back.

Girls like that are real bijous.

4. She Goes to an Ivy League University

One thing that often amazes me about collegiate athletes is how seldom they consider that little detail called "the rest of their lives." When you're like Alicia, and you can get into pretty much whichever school you want, doesn't it make sense to pick one that has the dual-benefit of helping you compete athletically while also providing the skills for everything you do after the age of 22?

That makes sense to me, and evidently it also makes sense to the best vaulter in the known universe.

I'm sure that her Beijing dreams would have been a lot easier without those extra 20 hours of homework every week. It's probably hard to ditch class and hit the gym when your professor actually takes attendance every morning.

But Alicia Sacramone takes her academic responsibilities seriously, and smart girls are hot.

As a side note, Brown has one of the country's finest East Asian Studies departments. Let's hope that Sacramone has taken advantage of this in order to "better know her enemy," the formidable Chinese team.

So, Alicia, if you read this, feel free to give me a ring the next time you are in San Francisco. We Northern California types are really easy going, and the good news is that I used to live in New England, so we will have a wicked good time hanging out together.

Photo courtesty of gymbox.net

Smile courtesty of Heaven

San Jose Sharks: Transcript of Ron Wilson's Speech!

Bryan Goldberg — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:25:05 -0400

The San Jose Sharks forced a sixth game in their series against Dallas after a stunning third-period comeback and beautiful overtime winner.

Many fans must be wondering what exactly Ron Wilson said in the locker room between periods. The Bleacher Report has the exclusive:

Wilson: All right guys, it hasn't been a very good first two periods. Even a quick look at the scoreboard reveals the other team is winning. This is bad news for our team, since we are not the other team. We are our team.

Roenick: Hey, that's right! Coach is right!

Wilson: Indeed I am. What's more, if we don't score at least two goals in the next period — the so-called 'third' period — then we will lose this game and our season will be over.

Marleau: Wait, slow down. If we don't score any goals in the next period, then we will have our work cut out for us in our next game... right? That's not the worst thing ever.

Wilson: No, no. That's a common misconception. As it turns out, the rules technically dictate, that if we lose this game...we don't get a chance for another one.

Thornton: What?! Well, why didn't anybody tell us this?

Wilson: The guys in the front office hadn't done the math yet, obviously.

Roenick: So then what options do we have?

Wilson: Well, my inclination is that if we want to win the Stanley Cup —

Thornton: Of course, we want to win the Stanley Cup! That's the whole point.

Wilson: Yes, then we must win this specific game. This very one that is happening right now.

Soupy: Oh, geeze, we had better get our act together. If I had known that, I wouldn't have played like complete junk this entire playoffs. Classic case of miscommunication.

Wilson: No worries, Soupy, we'll deduct it from your free-agent contract.

Soupy: Fair enough, my bad.

Thornton: Very well, then I think the best course of action for us is to win. And not just in any game. We need to win this one. Right now. So I guess we'll have to...um...

Wilson: Score goals. That's my recommendation.

Michalek: That's it? Just score some goals? That's all we have to do?

Wilson: Yes, we need at least two, if not more.

Marleau: Oh, we can do that. If that's all we have to do...

Wilson: My suggestion is that when you guys shoot the puck, you aim it at the upper-corner of the net, and make sure that it's so perfectly placed that it skims both the crossbar and the post on the way in. Those shots are harder to stop.

Soupy: Ok, I can do that. Are you sure that you wouldn't rather that I commit a giveaway at the point which leads to a Dallas breakaway?

Wilson: That's very tempting... but goals are probably preferable.

Pavelski: Should I try to score too?

Wilson: Yes, my strong recommendation for the next 20 minutes is that every single person on this team tries to score a goal.

Nabby: Even me, Coach?

(Team Laughs)

Wilson: No, you've scored enough goals for one lifetime.

Michalek: Wait, does that mean that I should score a goal too?

Wilson: Yes, everyone on the team. Even you. Every player should aspire to score a goal in this period, as we want to score not one, but two.

Thornton: And if we just score a handful of goals in this period... then that's all we have to do to win it? Just score a few easy goals? We did that all the time this year. I set up as many goals as anybody in the league, I think.

Wilson: You sure did!

Marleau: But wait! What happens if our team doesn't spend any time in the penalty box? Then how can you expect me to score?

Wilson: Give the biscuit to someone else.

Marleau: Okay.

Wilson: Alright, boys, what are we gonna do?

Team: Score goals!

Wilson: And how many do we need?

Team: More than one!

Wilson: That's right, go get 'em boys! Charge!

Olympic Torch Protesters in San Francisco Are Deplorable

Bryan Goldberg — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:53:23 -0400

The picture above is one that I took on the way back from lunch.

Here at the Bleacher Report corporate office, we are being overwhelmed by the sound of sirens, protestors, and helicopters. There are police officers parked on every street corner, and countless SFPD vans are driving on sidewalks to get to their temporary war zone.

A war zone that exists because thousands of crazy, maverick protesters have turned a peaceful, celebratory ceremony into a "controversy."

They are creating a huge stink because a small group of extraordinary people, many of whom have overcome life-threatening injuries or dedicated their lives to community betterment, are carrying a symbolic torch?

Let's take a quick look at the major "accomplishments" that these protesters have perpetuated:

1. Thousands of police officers, paramedics, and firefighters, who should be out there keeping us safe and responding to medical emergencies, are instead being wasted standing idly on street corners.

2. Extraordinary, inspiring people are being rewarded with a once-in-a-lifetime honor, then being jeered and screamed at for political reasons.

3. A nation in Asia, which has finally woken up from decades of effective-genocide, starvation, misery and oppression, has FINALLY begun to take huge, meaningful steps in the right direction...but is somehow being protested by the world for events set into motion fifty years ago.

Well done, protesters, well done.

You have managed to turn what should be an apolitical and unifying tradition—the Olympic Games—into a stage for your own agenda. It is the ultimate act of imposition. It is the textbook definition of bad sportsmanship.

Those who protest the Olympic Games, be it the schmucks on the street today or our 39th President, clearly do not understand what the event is about, nor do they care about the dreams that they shatter for their own amusement.

The hippies outside our office have probably never experienced life in a wheelchair. Few of them know what it's like to have a child with Downs Syndrome.

If they are anything like the "political activists" I saw in college and still see here in San Francisco, then they are most adept at spending their parents’ money and living off the hard work of others.

But many of the people who have been honored by the Torch Ceremony know what it is like to struggle and face real opposition in life.

Every single person who is out there today jeering the Olympic torch is doing the wrong thing, and it's time for people to stand up and let them know that their selfishness and misguided views have no place in our society.