Bleacher Report - Articles by M Kaveh

Manchester City's Dream Team

M Kaveh — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 12:27:11 -0500

Ever since Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan ploughed his money into Manchester City and shocked the world by signing Robinho, constant sepculation followed about who would join the Eastlands outfit. When the January Window opened for business, City seemed to be concentrating on sensible signings, Bellamy, Parker and Santa Cruz. However on the 14th of January they made a 107 million pound move for Kaka, to make their intentions deadly serious. Now surely the trillionaire is picturing a dream team turning out in the blue shirt.

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2009 Premier League Predictions: Part One

M Kaveh — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 04:47:15 -0500

A new year, a new dawn?

The twelve months gone by will have either been disappointing or sensational, depending on your point of view.

Every football follower is entitled to a certain amount of optimism in January—usually, it's gone by February!

I wonder what we're in store for...

January

Transfer-window time and the main players are Manchester City. After weeks of simply pretending to be after simple players like Bellamy, Parker, and Santa Cruz, City reveal their true intentions on deadline day.

Tevez simply disappears from Old Trafford, but nobody notices. The entire West Ham squad is sold and Zola is left with the U17s. On deadline day City wait until the last hour before splashing out on Buffon, Lahm, Terry, Ferdinand, Kaka, Ronaldinho, Villa, and Podolski.

In other sport news, Tiger Woods wins in Augusta despite being shot several times by Boo Weekley, who mistakes him for a moose. Because of his injuries he only wins by eleven strokes.

February

The Champions League resumes with Inter Milan knocking out Manchester United with a last-minute goal from none other than Carlos Tevez. Liverpool send Madrid crashing out, Chelsea edge Juve, while Roma stun Arsenal.

After a heavy challenge on Cesc Fabregas, Wenger calls for the removal of any physical contact from football. He promises his "young kids" will come good next year.

Sam Allardyce quits as Blackburn boss after breaking down during a defeat to Newcastle. West Ham lose their eight succesive match and hit rock bottom.

The Carling Cup is won by Derby who beat Burnley after the latter stun Tottenham with a 3-0 win at Turf Moor.

March

Stoke discover Rory Delap had been playing with two broken shoulders all season and send him for an operation in Germany. The league remains very tight with two points seperating sixth and last.

Liverpool are still on top, but no pundit recognises their title chances. United who have eight games at hand, are still favoured to win. Aston Villa are still fourth, but Wenger repeats his "young kids" will come good. Manchester City are in a relegation place and Mark Hughes is given two games to save his season.

Liverpool and Chelsea march on into the semis of the Champions League after disposing of Villareal and Roma, respectively.

France claim the Six Nations after beating Wales in an epic where Vincent Clerc outscores Shane Williams by six tries to five.

April

Rory Delap returns and his first throw-in at the City of Manchester Stadium hits a spectator in the opposite stand. Man City find themselves in sixth place a virtue of the very close league table. Hughes is assured his job is safe.

Liverpool are still on top of the league, but are still being written off by pundits who favour third-placed Manchester United. Chelsea fire Scolari after a semifinal defeat to Liverpool. Roman Abramovich considers bribing UEFA to remove the semifinals.

Stoke climb out of the danger zone, as Fuller heads home a 900-metre Delap throw-in against Blackburn.

Newcastle and Everton qualify for the FA Cup final at the expense of Spurs and Torquay, respectively.

May

Liverpool win the league with one game to spare, but pundits are still tipping fourth-place Manchester United to make a late charge. Arsenal miss out on fourth place, que Wenger's "young kids" speech.

The last day of the season involves various mathematical permutations as sixth can finish twentieth, vice versa. After a last-minute penalty miss from John Terry, City slip from sixth to eighteenth. Mark Hughes is fired before leaving the pitch, and City go down with Spurs and Blackburn.

Phil Brown gets rid of the home dressing room and conducts all business on the pitch, in front of the fans.

Newcastle edge Everton to ensure statues of JFK are erected all over Tyneside.

Barcelona edge Liverpool as Messi bags a brace, Benitez takes his rotation policy a step too far, every five minutes every player moves to the right. The game ends with Torres in goal and Reina up front.

June

City, despite being in the Coca Cola Championship, snap up Henry, Xavi, Iniesta, Messi, Ronaldo, Torres, Drogba, Lampard, Gerrard, Carragher, Rooney Ribery Vidic, Benzema .and Aguero.

Wimbledon is won by Rafa Nadal after edging Roger Federer in a final set of 23-21. The game takes three days to complete.

Steven Gerrard Lets Liverpool and Himself Down

M Kaveh — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 04:53:34 -0500

Why is it that footballers just can't keep themselves out of trouble? Of course, other sportsmen have abused the letter of the law, but more often than not it's a footballer making the front and back pages.

Then there are those footballers we know will never be involved in this sort of nonsense, those such as Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs, Michael Owen, and Steven Gerrard. Oh wait, let's scratch that last name off, seeing as the Liverpool captain was arrested and charged with ABM and assault.

After helping his club to cement a top spot with a resounding win over Newcastle on Sunday, Gerrard decided to celebrate with his mates in a Southport nightclub. Old Liverpool hero Kenny Daglish was there himself and onlookers described his mood as merry.

Why not? You've just scored two in a brilliant victory, so enjoy yourself.

However, soon after Daglish departed, the England midfielder got into a fight with the club's DJ, Marcus McGee. Gerrard had requested a favourite of his, a Phil Collins song, but McGee refused, as he is well within his rights to.

A fight broke out. Well, a fight is usually evenly matched; this was a battering. McGee lost a tooth and needed several stitches to a face wound. The extent of Gerrard's alleged involvement is unclear.

In the hours after the incident, blood was seen on the club floor, along with shattered glass.

The Champions League winner was arrested with five other men. He was detained for 21 hours and was charged, along with John Doran, 29, and Ian Gerard Smith, 19, both of Huyton, where Gerrard grew up.

Now, those are the ins and outs of the incident. You make up your own mind and draw your own conclusions. But if Gerrard is found guilty of the offence, he could face a maximum of five years in prison.

However scandalous that may sound to the Gerrard-worshiping Liverpool fans, do you think we would get off lightly if any one of us assaulted and caused harm to a DJ? Of course not.

The fact that Rafa Benitez has come out and defended Gerrard, calling him "a lovely guy" only adds further intrigue to the scenario. Sorry Rafa, but I've known plenty of "lovely guys" who lose it for a second and face the consequences at a later date.

Here's hoping that the truth comes out and Gerrard wasn't involved in the actual harming of Marcus McGee. However, if he was, throw him inside for a few months. It's what would happen to you and me, so why not him?

Steven Appiah Gives MLS a Reality Check

M Kaveh — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 11:41:26 -0500

The European view of the MLS is quite simple: The league is a retirement home for footballers at the end of their career. Now that view seems to be shared by the players being tempted by American riches.

Out-of-contract star Steven Appiah, had been linked with a move to DC United and FC Dallas in the new year, but the Ghana captain laughed the potential transfers off.

"I have been linked to all the clubs in the world but this one makes me laugh very loud, I am 28 today and I have a lot to offer for top European clubs and that's where I will plan to continue my career."

The very fact that an out-of-contract footballer, who has been without a club since last June, is able to launch a scathing and blunt criticism of the MLS, will do its reputation no good whatsoever.

Of course players like Beckham, Robert, Ljungberg, Reyna, and Angel have made the jump across the Atlantic. But all of them, apart from Beckham, were resounding failures at their clubs before a move to the USA.

This only adds weight to Steve Appiah's "laugh out loud" statement.

Why would a talented player with skill and passion to burn swap a potential move to AC Milan for a couple of million in America?

It's a question the MLS has to ask itself and then face if it wishes to progress as a league. There is no point bringing in the foreign players, making them your designated players, and having them fail. Then you're a couple of million out of hand and back to square one.

Surely the league could back and promote its own talent without signing the dregs of Europe. When the league finally decides it is above having to acquire European failures, then the league will rise in Europe's estimation.

But until then, consider Steven Appiah's statement: not an insult, but the cold hard truth.

Aston Villa Emerge As the Real Deal, Look to Shake English Football to Its Core

M Kaveh — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 05:31:02 -0500

If somebody had stopped following the Premiership since its dramatic conclusion in May and then was to look at the Premiership table this Christmas day, they would be surprised by a number of things.

Liverpool leading the way, United off the pace, City in the relegation places, Tottenham so low down and Fulham so high up. Yet there are two events that would shock them to the core.

Promoted Hull City lying in sixth and Aston Villa in third.

Both would shake this man to the core but if he were to look again in May, would either still be in the upper echelons of the world's most competitive league? Chances are Hull will slip to a more modest position in the bottom half but what about Villa?

They are an exciting, young and skillful side who should be in the mix come the finish line. In Gabby Agbonlahor, Steve Sidwell, Nigel Reo-Coker, Curtis Davies, Martin Laursen, John Carew, Curtis Davies and Brad Friedel they posses one of the league's most solid spines.

There is one man in their team who without, you feel they would struggle to compete. Ashley Young. A player who I rate on par with Messi and Ronaldo has been nothing short of sensational this year.

Be it his lightening pace, deft touch, pin-point passing, stunning free-kicks, confident cross or his powerful strike, Young has excelled in all fields. He has reached a level so high that when Villa score a goal, it is almost guaranteed he had a hand in it.

A game to pin-point is Villa's recent fixture against Everton at Goodison Park. The game was level at 1-1 when Young reacted to a poor pass back and slotted the ball past Tim Howard, one chance and one goal.

Everton pushed on and in the last minuted found their equaliser but Villa weren't quite finished. A long hopeful ball from the kick off found Agbonlahor who fed Young. The 23 year old turned Lescott inside out and smashed the ball home once again to complete a stunning comeback.

Villa have rarely been as sensational as that but they are beating sides around them with ease and they're reward is a place in the Top Four for Christmas. It's refreshing to see a side built up over a few years by the excellent Martin O'Neill reach the top while mega rich City flounder in the relegation zone.

Can they continue this rich vein of form? Of course! Barring injuries to their top players, then Villa could dump Arsenal out of the Top Four and shake English football to its core.

It will be a hard slog between now and May but if Villa are up for the fight, then that fella will probably see Villa among United, Liverpool and Chelsea when he checks the table again in May.