Bleacher Report - Articles by Matthew Maloney

Ireland 1, FIFA 2: A Scorned Lover Again

Matthew Maloney — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:14:25 -0500

“They’re all probably clapping hands, [Michel] Platini sitting up there on the phone to Sepp Blatter, probably texting each other, delighted with the result.”—Robbie Keane, Ireland Captain and yesterday's only goalscorer (only one proper goal was scored last night historians will undoubtedly say).

I haven't been moved to write anything on Bleacher for a long, long time. In fact I didn't think I'd ever use the site again but yesterday's "travesty" leaves too much to be desired in my eyes.

For roughly 110 minutes I fell in love with football again—Ireland hadn't played like they did last night since I started watching football in the first place! (WC 2002—memories of Spain and Germany came flooding back last night)

But the sheer tenacity of previous—to my mind—"ugly ducklings" like Glenn Whelan, Keith Andrews and now joint record cap holder Kilbane won me over, even if I had been largely dubious about their achievements and merit as footballers beforehand.

To such an extent in fact, that I actually groaned when Whelan had to come off for Darren "Permanent United Reserve Team Fixture" Gibson in the second half. Its been a seachange in attitude from me and I suspect many other Irish fans towards such untalented yet endearing workhorses.

As for the usual two totem poles of Irish football suffice to say Duff was magical while Keane was just inspirational. Last night he became the captain I never knew he could be. The work rate of the two was outstanding and at times even the odd step over and flick were introduced to remind not only the French but yes, even ourselves, that these two still had "it".

Undoubtedly the French were on the ropes; Domenech, no stranger to widespread questioning of his role with the national team, seemed prepared for the worst (quick question to all Frenchies out there—would they even have sacked him if they had lost?), the marketing men held their collective breath for the worst—a tournament with no Henry, Benzema, Gourcuff et al...but most importantly Platini and Blatter were getting uncomfortable in their seats.

Their plan was going awry.

Having rejigged the seedings to make sure Ireland wouldn’t have the audacity to appear in the World Cup again and stink the place up (to their minds anyway), it was high time a Byron Moreno/South Korea job was pulled off should Plan B not reach its insidious conclusion.

For those of you who don’t know who Byron Moreno is let me refer you to South Korea v Italy at the 2002 World Cup. The match became infamous among Italians as a clear case of "shenanigans." And who was on the Italy bench at the time?—Giovanni Trappatoni. Yes, he more than anyone should know how FIFA politicking works, so no surprise then he mentioned Moreno’s name in the postmatch interview.

But coming back to the game last night it became clear something palpable was in the air. Commentator Jim Beglin said as much by declaring halfway through an amazing Irish performance that “there’s something big on tonight, and the players out there are beginning to feel it.”

As I’ve said before I was falling in love with football again, but this however was largely after falling out of love with it for roughly the past few months.

Corruption has become endemic: Serie A, La Liga, The Premiership, even the MLS have seen non-existent penalties, soft red cards and indeed, extra-extra time given in favour of the big boys (and David Beckham). Matches are played out in the financial markets or the boardroom more than the pitch nowadays, so what’s the point?

But even with all this in mind, Ireland-France in a World Cup playoff sounded a treat. ——And it was—again I add, for roughly 110 minutes.

Sure the deflected goal in the first leg was unlucky. Sure the French slaughtered us possession-wise in Croke Park and sure the bookies had us down for a fairly predicatble defeat over the 2 legs but we stuck in there with a bunch of players who hardly even feature for Stoke, Hull or Middlesborough among other unfashionable teams.

And that was heartening. Something against the odds was happening last night in Paris and FIFA simply didn't see it coming.

But it is when the ugly system full of the usual corporate cast of lawyers, marketing men and bent politicians become involved that the beautiful game becomes a whore for all to see.

Its no coincidence a French team full of immediately marketable Africans will be going to South Africa next year. Interest in the tournament there demands it and among other things, nominally "more talented players" and recognisable names.

Nike, Adidas, McDonalds won’t be savouring Glenn Whelan running around a pitch at 50 degrees, sweating like a pig. As Henry in one of his commercials would say: “The best a man can get.” That won’t be Glenn Whelan for Mr. Marketer.

As for the blatant handball it not only contravenes "fair play", it contravenes 'common sense'.

Even in a playground of schoolchildren a handball will be ruled out amongst players. No referee needed. So how two supposedly qualified and supposedly experienced officials fail to see two handballs, one after the other is mind boggling.

And this doesn't even take into account 2 French players were offside as the ball was floated in from the free kick.

It is simply a crying shame when justice is foregone even when the player himself admits he handled the ball.

So this leads me to the only conclusion possible with all the facts, motives, and events in mind. FIFA got the result FIFA wanted.

Portugal and France will be heading to the World Cup with inept managers, free to bestow upon us heartless, passionless, mind-numbing football once more (2006 Portugal v France was just awful), and the real football teams that really espouse the values of the game FIFA pays lip service to; The Irelands, the Bosnias, the naturally ungifted, the naturally non-glamorous will be scorned.

Like the fat quiet girl with the good heart done over by the bimbo blonde with the implants. The notion of love has had the piss taken out of it.

And so has my love for the game.

Chelsea And The Many Silver Linings To Their Transfer Embargo

Matthew Maloney — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:24:25 -0400

On the face of it, admittedly, a year-long transfer embargo isn't exactly the making of many a Chelsea supporter's dreams.

But look closer, and there may actually be much to be mirthful about in the coming months at Stamford Bridge.

Time For The Youth To Take the Reigns from The Old

With a year-long embargo, Chelsea will now have to rely on youth to fill the usual gaps that emerge in the typical Premiership and Champions League-chasing first team squad due to injuries, suspensions (etc.) in a season.

What immediately springs to mind this season in particular is the African Nations Cup, where a slew of Chelsea players—including most notably, Dider Drogba, Salmon Kalou Michael Essien and Jon Obi Mikel—will be unavailable for selection for a period.

It will be during the coming months we see the fruits of Chelsea's youth system come to bear. A youth system, which to all intents and purposes, has produced dissappointingly little considering the massive infrastructural and youth investments made during the Abramovich era.

In fact, in one of Jose Mourinho's parting shots to his former employers he bemoaned the lack of genuine youth talent produced by the club's youth sytem. Since then, the regimes of Grant, Scolari and Hiddink have provided precious little evidence to rebuff this claim.

Frank Arnesen, current head of Chelsea's youth system and chief scout, must take some of the blame.

When a move from Tottenham resulted in a £5-8m compensation agreement for Spurs(depending on which sources you consider) after the capture of the former PSV man; many, not suprisingly, expected a complete reconfiguration and improvement in Chelsea's youth system.

Unfortunately, Chelsea and by implication, Arnesen's aggressive youth transfer policies (documented infamously by BBC's Panorama investigation) led to a transfer ban to which, ironically, his own work in the past few years will now be called upon in helping the club bridge the recruiting gap.

With a large number of youth players out on loan currently, don't be surprised to see some recalled over the coming months. In fact don't be surprised to see some trading passes with Terry and Lampard in the first team in the coming months either.

Ancelotti, Safe and Sound Equals Stability

Should Abramovich's much longed-for hookup with Ancelotti—a coach he deeply admired for his work at Milan—go the same way as his affiliation with Andriy Shevchenko, there won't be too many world class coaches eager to take a job that will have by then seen five managerial departures in less than three years.

Most importantly, it will a job where no option to overhaul the aging squad in the transfer market will be available in the short term. (This is of course, ruling out complete chancers like Eriksson or Grant being appointed as a stop-gap measure.)

For Ancelotti the pressure has already resided somewhat with a strong start to his debut season. With a ban on transfers, further signings now won't come under scrutiny— because there'll be none—and Ancelotti can do what he does best: Work with old pros until they can no longer remember where they live, nevermind run!

This all points to stability, a much-needed thing needed at Stamford Bridge, now being inadvertantly provided by FIFA.

As long as Ancelotti doesn't completely make a balls of it, of course.

Break-Even By 2010 Says the Master, "Yes, my lord!" replies Mr. Kenyon

When Peter Kenyon was lured by Abramovich to his Chelsea project in 2003, Kenyon was given one main brief—to attain a break even financial target by 2010.

Well seven years on and hundreds of millions spent on signings, agents' fees, and wages later it now looks as if that target was purely a case of wishful thinking.

Or was it?

It was projected that transfer spending would decline every year since that memorable summer splurge in 2003. And in fairness, it has: Yuri Zhirkov at £18m was Chelsea's only major signing this summer.

And the forecast for transfer spending January and Summer 2010?: zero.

In fact, don't be surprised to see players exit the club as contracts expire next summer. Arjen Robben, now of Bayern, has even warned of an exodus as players leave a stagnant squad.

Perhaps it wasn't wishful thinking after all.

Fortress Mentality 101

The final thing I'd like to point out is something most Chelsea supporters were well accustomed to in Mourinho's days: The Siege Mentality.

With UEFA currently "out to do in Chelsea" and rival club's supporters tittering away at Chelsea's misfortune, this could all well have a galvanising effect on everyone at the club.

An "Us vs. Them" perspective that, rightly or wrongly, has been discarded as Abramovich sought to make the club more media-friendly just may be about to return.

First-team players will no longer look over their shoulder—their places are almost guaranteed in the squad at the club now. Also, players may actually be motivated to play for each other now considering the buck will now well and truly stops at their feet in the coming year.

On the pitch, understanding and striking partnerships between attacking players could now be given stability and time to blossom while coordination and organisation of the defence could improve as the revolving-door policy of Chelsea's right side of defence ends.

It's specualtion, of course—again, Robben could be right and players might see a sinking ship—but a good previous example are Roma, who were hit with a similar ban and yet emerged as a much more tight-knit squad from it all.

Perhaps Chelsea's millionaire mercenaries can now meld together even quicker under in a siege mentality environment and form something much more. Something that, against all odds, may lead them to silverware come May.

Who would bet against it?

Champions League Roundtable: 09-10 Season Preview

Matthew Maloney — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 09:21:30 -0400

With the group stages kicking off in less than two weeks, the qualifying rounds complete, and with the dust finally starting to settle on the historic domestic and European campaign waged by Pep Guardiola's Barcelona last season, it's time we now fete a brand new edition of the Champions League fast approaching.

A Champions League that we hope, will provide us with more cracking contests and the basis of more passionate debates and discussion all over Europe in the coming months.

In this first-ever edition of the BR CL roundtable I have invited members of the BR football community to represent the views and opinions of the clubs they support as we preview, and hope to provide some insight on, what we might expect to see this year.

Joining me at the roundtable today are: Barney Corkhill (BC)—Liverpool, Deepak Israni (DI)—Real Madrid, Adamo Digby (AD)—Juventus, Salomon Gonzales (SG)—Chelsea, Anurag Bhatt (AB)—Barcelona, Salaar Shamsi (SS)—Manchester United, Rocky Getters (RG)—AC Milan and Ismail Ayub (IA)—Arsenal

Who will I (MM) be representing at this roundtable?—UEFA, of course! We can't have a UEFA Champions League discussion without a UEFA representative!

So without further ado, lets get underway.

MM: New season, new signings, new coaches...even new presidents: What are we looking forward to seeing this season concerning our teams in the Champions League, gentlemen? Let's start with last year's winners, Barcelona.

AB: I am looking forward to seeing Barcelona disprove their critics who said that last year's win was a one-off; that they never deserved to get past Chelsea, and are now criticising the purchase of Ibrahimovic. Seeing Ibra score his first Champions League knock-out goal would also be nice.

My most ardent wish is that Barcelona continue their philosophy of playing the same attractive, attacking football, and lifting the trophy in the Santiago Bernabeu.

DI: I am just looking forward to Real Madrid clearing the Round of 16 this time, they have not been able to do that for five years running now! Just joking, I am looking forward to Real Madrid play in the finals (as it is at the Bernabeu) and winning the Champions League for the 10th time, the squad is good enough to make that possible.

SG: It's quite simple!—Chelsea have to win the Champions League this season.

We've been too close for far too long and it's about time that we went that step further and conquered Europe. The club didn't sign that many players with Zhirkov being the only one to potentially command a starting spot this season.

I'm looking forward to seeing him back in the side, because he looked really good against AC Milan during pre-season, in which he of course scored in.

I have high hopes for Sturridge, and his attitude so far has been commendable. I can see him making a big impact both in the league and champions league, once Drogba and Kalou jet off to Africa.

I haven't seen much of Matic but I've heards loads of good things about him. He could well play an important part this season when Essien and Mikel join Drogba and Kalou in Africa.

RG: AC Milan have always been very strong in the Champions League. Despite the rebuilding we are doing in the team right now, I expect nothing different.

Coach Leonardo, earlier, talked about having the right attitude, and that's all that'll matter here. On the big European stage, Milan need to be stable, relaxed and yet positive.

The loss against Inter last Saturday in the Serie A, was a good lesson for the Rossoneri. The players got nervous after the first goal and they really collapsed after that. They cannot let that happen on the European stage.

Milan may not be the dominating force they were, say 3-4 years ago, but Milan still have a quality squad and all the players are motivated and hungry. The Rossoneri want to show Europe that they are still a force to be reckoned with.

BC: I'm looking forward to seeing how Glen Johnson will get on featuring in regular European competition. He has been excellent so far in the league, and has impressed in some of his international appearances, although not without some criticism, so the Champions League should be another interesting test for him.

I'm also looking forward to how Alberto Aquilani adapts to it, or rather how Liverpool adapt their tactics now that Xabi Alonso has gone. Alonso's style of play was more or less perfect for Europe, so Aquilani has some big boots to fill in that respect!

Rafa Benitez has a great record in Europe and has made Liverpool into a team no one else wants to play. Hopefully, he can improve his already impressive European resume with another good performance this season!

What am I looking forward to most, though? Stevie G lifting ol' big ears above his head again!

SS: Manchester United came agonisingly close to retaining their European crown last season, however on the night Barcelona was clearly the better team, and by a country mile.

United don't have Ronaldo, who chipped in with his fair share of goals to assist United's progress in Europe last season. However, Wayne Rooney appears to have taken his game up a notch and this is quite a boost for the Red Devils.

They will need Darren Fletcher, Micheal Carrick, Nani, Dimitar Berbatov, and new signings Micheal Owen and Luis Antonio Valencia to back up Rooney with consistent performances if they are to shut the gaping hole created by the departures of Ronaldo and Tevez.

AD: Juventus should finally be competitive in Europe this season after being handicapped by the Calciopoli scandal in recent years. The summer transfer campaign has been the first to excite me as a Juve fan since 2001, when we brought in Buffon, Thuram and Nedved.

The additions this term look great—a home grown defence of Italian guile, grit and cunning: Buffon, Cannavaro, Chiellini, Legrotaillie, Grosso, De Ceglie and Molinaro.

Then Brazilian flair and ingenuity going forward of Melo, Diego and Amauri complementing Trezeguet, Del Piero, Iaquinta and Sissoko; A strong squad with the potential to win it all.

IA: Well I for one am looking for Arsenal to make a strong run in the Champions League and seeing Arsenal do battle with some of Europe's leading lights and big spenders. The idea of an Arsenal vs Barcelona tie would be something that would get everyone off their feet, I'm sure.

I'm hoping to see more maturity in the players when playing in Europe and of course exceptional performances. Each year we are treated to some exceptional games from the Gunners; Arsenal 7, Slavia Prague 0 and Fenerbahce 2, Arsenal 5, to name but a few. Hopefully this year we achieve some more large scorelines.

In terms of new players, I think that Vermaelen has settled in exceptionally well and will add an extra layer of steel to our backline. Also I think we'll see the best of the 4-3-3 in the CL. This is simply because of the fact, that in Europe, teams try to play good football against us. This just plays into our hands and will mean that we can dominate our opposition. MM: As I'm sure most of you are aware, the Champions League draw for the group stages has already taken place last week in Monaco, throwing up some interesting fixtures. Not least a clash or two between some major Italian and Spanish sides.

RG: Milan have been drawn in Group C with the strongest and most hyped team in Europe right now—Real Madrid. Though this is a bit worrying—after seeing Milan's performance against Inter—I'm definitely excited.

Both the encounters will be an absolute treat. Kaka's visit to the San Siro, especially, will be something special. We still love him here at Milan, still call him as one of our own; and though he'll be wearing a Madrid jersey, seeing him play here will be great.

But it's serious business in the CL: If we are not up to the task, we could really suffer against them. We will need to elevate our game and get everything right in order to get points off Madrid.

The other two teams cannot be taken for granted either—Especially Marsielle. But I think Milan have enough quality and hunger to get maximum points out of these two teams, at home and away, to seal a place in the knockout stage. From then on, anything can happen really.

DI: The teams drawn in Real Madrid's group are tougher compared to other teams, Marseille and AC Milan are going to be tough to beat but I think they'll go through to the next round. I am looking forward to Real Madrid vs. AC Milan at the San Siro, just because I want to see what kind of reception does Kaka gets.

AB: The draw is not a very difficult one for Barcelona. Inter Milan is a great team, and I feel they could pose a stiff challenge to Barcelona for winning out the group, but I do not feel Dinamo Kyiv or Rubin Kazan have the necessary quality to qualify in place of Barcelona.

I am glad that they have avoided potential pitfall teams in pot three, like Atletico Madrid, and Wolfsburg from pot four. [MM's note: Teams from a country can not be drawn against another from the same country in the group stages anyway! Although some Catalans do indeed consider themselves a separate nation from Spain!]

AD: The draw was mixed, but could've been much worse. Avoiding the English clubs and Barcelona was good, but Bayern and Bordeaux will still test the squad. The Bayern away game should be the decider, we won there three years ago, a repeat would be great this time around.

I like how we match up, their strong wide players—Ribery, Robben and Schweinstiger—will trouble our fullbacks, while our main focus is centrally through Diego and the strikers: Lucio leaving has caused a hole in Bayern's central defence.

MM: How about the English teams? Has the draw unsettled you or given you cause for cheer?

SG: I'm very pleased with the draw. Not the toughest group but not the easiest either so there should be some quite tasty matches in store for us. Porto and Atletico are two very good teams and capable of posing danger to any team in the world on their day.

To finish top, Chelsea must be extremely focused throughout the group stages because one lapse in concentration and both teams will be ready to pounce. If Chelsea win all their home games and take six points off Apoel, top spot shouldn't be a problem.

I'm looking forward to playing Atletico home and away. It's fair to say the outcome of those two matches will shape the group.

BC: I'm happy with Liverpool's group. It is by no means an easy group, or a guaranteed pass into the next round, but I would be very surprised and disappointed if we didn't progress.

Lyon and Fiorentina will be tough games home and away, while Debrecen could be a potential banana-skin, especially away in what will be an undoubtedly hostile environment.

Liverpool never make it easy for themselves in the group stages, and I am bracing myself for another rollercoaster of a Champions League season.

Lyon is the match I'm most worried about, simply because I can see us slipping up against them; which will put the pressure on to finish top of the group, which is what we should be aiming for.

All the English clubs have got a fairly kind draw and I'd expect them all to progress. When you get into the latter stages, you start to get the exciting matches.

Any prospective ties between us and any of the English teams (including the inevitable Chelsea match), Barcelona, Real Madrid, Inter Milan, AC Milan, or Juventus will be huge matches as usual. I'd fancy our chances against anyone, though.

IA: In terms of the draw, I don't think it's as easy as some people think. Standard Leige are a team that pushed Liverpool all the way in the CL qualifying round last year (with Kuyt scoring an extra-time winner in the 117th minute to win the tie, after COUNTLESS Leige chances over the two legs) and won their league last season.

Also AZ Alkmaar, while losing their manager and some players, will still be confident opponents because of their league triumph last season.

Olympiakos in Diogo have a good striker (Liverpool were rumoured to be interested in him before they purchased Keane) and again won their respective league.

As they are all Champions, it shows these teams have a certain amount of quality (even if they are in so-called weaker leagues) and grit, which may come in handy for them.

The fixture that excites me most is Leige away, as they were tough opponents for Liverpool and also because Arsenals biggest ever European away win was 7-0 at Leige.

I think the final group table will be this: first Arsenal, second Olympiakos, third Standard Leige fourth AZ Alkmaar.

We could still finish as runners-up if Wenger chooses to rest players for the later games, but I'm confident of a first-place finish.

SS: United have a decent group, you'd expect them to win against teams like CSKA Moscow, Wolfsburg, and Besiktas but travelling to Russia, Germany and Turkey will tremendously fatigue the Red Devils, which will mean Sir Alex Ferguson needs to rotate his squad efficently.

Outside of United's group, I'm anxiously looking forward to Real Madrid vs AC Milan though United's game in Moscow should be a close encounter.

MM: OK, an axe murderer has escaped from the local mental asylum. One morning while brushing your teeth he appears in the mirror behind you! You drop your toothbrush (you're only means of defence goddamit, how could you?!) and slowly turn around, he then barks: "Realistically with the squad at your disposal and with the closing of the transfer window, will your team be lifting the European Cup next year?"—What do you say?!

BC: Yes.

The summer transfer window may have arguably left the Premier League weaker, but it has certainly made the Champions League stronger, so it won't be easy.

However, as I said above, I fancy Liverpool's chances against anyone and everyone in the Champions League under Rafael Benitez.

Last season we were, according to the UEFA coefficients, ranked as the best team in Europe due to our performances in the previous five years. Benitez has turned us into a formidable European side capable of beating everyone over a two-legged tie.

Real Madrid should be a force again after their spending spree, while Barcelona will be incredibly hard to knock off their throne. Man United have reached the final in the last two seasons while Chelsea are desperate to grab that elusive crown. Arsenal share that desperation, and a semi-final place last year shows they should be considered serious contenders.

All these teams are more than capable of beating Liverpool, but Liverpool are also capable of beating them, so it should be a very interesting season. I predict a semi-final place at least for the boys in red, but I'm hoping for a repeat of 2005!

SG: Definitely!

The squad has been more or less the same for a number of years now. The core of the team hasn't changed in the last five years. Cech, Terry, Lampard and Drogba are still in top shape and in their prime. I'm also expecting big seasons from Ashley Cole, Essien, Bosingwa and Ballack/Deco.

Every season, Chelsea seem to ease their way to latter stages of the competition only to find themselves fail at the last hurdle. It's almost become a mental barrier and something needs to change. I'm hoping Ancelotti is that change.

He's already shown he can handle big teams with big players. He's also shown he is willing to change the side around according to the next fixture.

I liked the way he dropped Carvalho in favor of Ivanovic (vs Sunderland) to cope with the height and speed of Kenwyne Jones. It worked and Ivanovic had Jones in his pocket all game.

Carvalho was then back in the side for the following game. It shows Ancelotti has prepared himself and studied the opponent...spells good things for the future!

SS: Sir Alex Ferguson is content with his squad and that's all there is to it.

Indeed, Ronaldo and Tevez have left but I still feel United have enough quality within their ranks to challenge their rivals for European supremacy. However, they've made it to the final twice in a row now and face a rather uphill task in getting to Madrid.

The competition will tougher and United are slightly weaker although if the likes of Berbatov, Rooney and company have the best season of there respective careers than I wouldn't write them off.

It's not impossible but I can't see United winning the Champions League, at least this season, although they are favourites for the Premier League despite the high flying start that Chelsea and Arsenal have had, Europe is different ball game altogether.

IA: I do not think Arsenal can win the Champions League, with our squad. Our First XI could, but the chance of all our key players being fit (especially at the back, where we suffer from a lack true quality at CB if Vermaelen or Gallas are struck with injury). I don't see it happening realistically.

The fan in me sees us reaching the final, but my head doesn't see it as being possible. Arsenal can beat anyone on their day with their best XI out but with the champions league, 15 bad minutes in a two-legged tie can essentially end the tie (see: Arsenal 1, Man United 3).

However I feel that the experience we have gained from the last year (especially from the Roma tie) will help see us through to the semi's. The final? Well, I just don't know yet...

MM: Its safe to say after last year's disappointing results against the English teams in the so-called "Premiership vs. Serie A" knockout ties last year, Italian teams will be looking to at least improve on their last 16 performance. Can Italian teams come back? Remember it wasn't so long ago Italy had three teams in the semi-finals, in 2003.

AD: I do think Juve can win the CL this year. The exciting young players like Marchisio, Chiellini, Giovinco, Sissoko, De Ceglie and Diego have been carefully mixed with the wealth of experience and quality provided by Del Piero, Buffon, Cannavaro and Grosso.

Ciro Ferrara will remind the squad of the club's past, its spirit and where its future lies. If the squad gels, which it certainly looks like it has if the victory in Rome is anything to go by, then the monopoly enjoyed by EPL clubs and Barcelona may just come to a premature end at the hands of a familiar Old Lady!

RG: Milan have a really good, quality side. New star signing Huntelaar will look to prove himelf on the biggest stage of them all, superstar Pato is already in great form. Ronaldinho is improving.

This golden triangle really is as sharp and potent an attacking force as you can have. Milan have a good midfield. Leo has persisted with the 4-3-1-2, meaning that Pirlo-Gattuso-Flamini will be seen in the middle.

The main concern will be Gattuso' injury—If he can stay fit, Milan can dominate midfield. We saw old warriors Clarence Seedorf and Massimo Ambrosini come on in the second half in the match against Inter and give good performances.

Their experience and cool heads will be of immense importance, especially in the big matches against Madrid. We might see young Abate tested in the earlier matches as well—he is an interesting prospect.

Young Thiago Silva has looked good in the center of the defense, and Onyewu was considered a good signing. With Nesta, this defense looks solid. It may not be the best defense Milan have had, but it's still good.

The fullbacks need to do more, though. The entire defensive line will be tested heavily in the Madrid game. Milan have a solid first team, full of quality—they just need to click.

But maybe when we look to the bench, it may not be as strong as we'd like it to be. Milan will have to depend on the veterans, yet again, to deliver.

But you cannot measure the passion that sprouts in a player wearing that glorious red and black. Milan should go a long way in the CL, and winning the trophy isn't totally out of question.

MM: And finally having made up a combined 75 percent of La Liga total transfer spending during the summer, can La Liga's perennial titans Real and Barca consolidate their status as European superpowers by adding yet another European cup to the trophy cabinet?

AB: I feel Barcelona is one of the few teams that looks fully capable of defending the Champions League title this decade.

Pep Guardiola has got the striker he always wanted in Ibrahimovich, a great left back who can add more to offense as well as provide solidity in defense in Maxwell. He can also call upon some talented youth players when necessary.

Sadly, Chigrinskiy will not be featuring in the CL for Barcelona this season, having played an unsuccessful set of qualifiers with Shakhtar already.

A lot of people are complaining about the lack of depth in the squad, with the number of players released being far greater than the number brought in. I don't think this will be much of an issue.

Hleb and Gudjohnsen were never prominent members of Barcelona's CL triumph last year. Henrique was brought in and loaned back, while Caceres was loaned out too. Eto'o? I personally feel Ibrahimovic is an upgrade over him, though I know many will disagree with me.

With Maxwell, the left flank is, it is safe to say, is almost as dangerous as the right. I see Guardiola relying on Marc Muniesa and/or Andreu Fontas for the thin centre-back positions, while Thiago and Jonathan could also make a few appearances, especially in the group stage ties.

The current squad definitely has enough quality to win the CL for a second year running.

DI: Of course Real Madrid can win the Champions League; it's going to be tough but it is possible!

MM: I'd like to thank everybody who appeared in the roundtable for their time and efforts in bringing this to fruition. Without you guys, the fans, I can sincerely say we at UEFA would be nothing.

And so that brings me on to you. Do you have any comments you'd like to make? Is there something you're looking forward to seeing this year in the CL? What did you make of thoughts and opinions presented? Will the axe murderer ever be caught?

Finally I would like to apologise to supporters of the other clubs involved in this year's competition. Unfortunately, space and time constraints made it unfeasible to have too large a roundtable. However, that said I'd be very interested to read what the fans of these clubs felt about the issues we've discussed. So don't hesitate to comment below.

As for the roundtable, hopefully we'll see you again in a few weeks' time!

Roma's Luciano Spalletti Resigns: Thinker Replaced By Tinkerman

Matthew Maloney — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:47:16 -0400

My first reaction as a Roma fan—shock.

My second reaction as a Roma fan—horror.

Shock at learning Luciano Spalletti, the club's most successful coach in recent times called it a day at the Olympico, completely out of the blue; followed swiftly by horror, upon learning that he will soon be replaced by a coach who has been sacked in three of his last four coaching positions.

All this of course comes on the back of a *horrendously dreadful* two-game losing streak—yes you read that right—two games.

The latter of these defeats came last weekend to a team widely acknowledged to be Inter's sole title contenders this season. A team who had outspent Roma to the tune of €50m in the transfer market this summer.

The other loss coming at Genoa, away, and after the game had been marred by a hugely controversial decision, which unfortunately had gone against the Romans.

Of course as alluded to above, the resignation may make some sense when one considers Spalletti didn't have two pennies to rub together throughout the summer; Aquilani was sold, Montella retired, and Panucci departed for Parma leaving Guberti, signed from newly promoted Bari on a free, the only new face at Trigoria.

Theoretically Spalletti may have felt frustrated as other clubs around Roma at the top of the table splashed the cash. Heck, even crosstown rivals Lazio managed to stump up over €20m for Zarate during the summer!

But on further reflection the resignation may ultimately be a culmination of numerous events that occurred during the preceding months and indeed, years.

Remember, towards the end of last season, ironically it was Spalletti who was being touted to replace Ranieri at Juventus. Although he was to turn down the opportunity a further development concerning a link to Zenit St. Petersburg later arose during the summer.

One must also take Spalletti's allusions to his players 'not following orders' at face value: Had Spalletti lost the dressing room?

There have been well publicised falling outs with the likes of Cicinho, De Rossi, Panucci, and of course Mancini on Spalletti's part, but if push came to shove, did the players shove?

Finally Spalletti may of asked himself, had he taken the club as far as he could?—I don't like saying it, but I'd imagine a qualified 'yes' was the answer to this question.

Considering the budget available to him and taking into account the steady loss of key players every summer, Spalletti's various thinly veiled references to possible takeovers and new investment in hindsight were probably what Spalletti may have felt he genuinely needed in order to continue his "project" in Rome.

But sadly, despite interest from abroad, nothing concrete was forthcoming.

I have a feeling Spalletti's reign will be remembered fondly in the years to come though.

Nobody can say the football wasn't pleasing to watch. As one of the the orignator's of the "strikerless formation" in Serie A and Europe, Spalletti's reign will be forever remembered by tactics afficionados.

Spaletti's 11 consecutive record breaking victories culminating in the win over perennial rivals Lazio in the 05-06 season is the stuff of Roma club legend.

Lest we forget we should also probably highlight his three consecutive runners up finishes, two Coppa Italia, two CL quarter final appearances and a Supercoppa to his Roma legacy.

So where does this leave the club?

Ranieri is not a winning coach. But he is a steady hand.

Compared to the pressure's of life at Chelsea and Juventus, a hopeful target of a top four finish may not be too much to ask of the Roman.

That said it could all go even more pear shaped by Christmas.

I remain cautiously pessimistic, as always.

Flashback: Wrestlemania X-Seven

Matthew Maloney — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 07:23:19 -0400

On April 1, 2001 in Houston, Texas, the WWF hosted in my esteemed (okay, let's face it, probably worthless) opinion the finest event/card in its amazing history.

Packed to the rafters with 68,000 baying fans (breaking the attendance record for the Reliant in the process), Wrestlemania 17 is widely considered by many, the closing curtain and last hurrah of the so-called Attitude Era.

I've since personally come to see the event as a symbolic ending to the last time I could say wrestling was mainstream enough to be considered 'cool' (or one of the last times I could admit being a fan!); the beginning of a slow and painful decline for the wrestling industry...but I digress.

What made Wrestlemania 17 unlike any other Wrestlemania previously and following Wrestlemanias was not the only the great card, wrestlers involved or even storylines leading up to the event (although WM 17 really ticked all the boxes in these areas)—but quite simply the whole damn package that it was.

Everything came together perfectly, and it just felt so right at the time.

Nu-metal was also about to see the end of its popularity too, but Limp Biskit's My Way was perfect for the occasion. It was a song that really fit the theme for WM 17.

On commentary, Paul Heyman and good ol' J.R enlightened proceedings.

You know I'm genuinely surprised to hear Heyman's voice whenever I watch some of WM17 again on Youtube and the like. I'd always remembered Jerry Lawler being J.R's predominant partner in the attitude era and remembered Heyman as only doing commentary when the Invasion storyline kicked in.

Not that Heyman did a bad job in his time behind the commentary both or anything—there's was hardly a night where Heyman didn't royally p*ss off the usually dignified Jim Ross, and to be fair he did not let up on J.R. at WM 17 either!

Anyway back to the action...

With 11 matches, WM 17 was a blockbuster card. Anyone who ordered it couldn't say they were shortchanged with over four hours of action.

Not only that, but amazingly, every match on the card (Gimmick battle royal aside) made sense considering the previous angles and storylines WWE gave us in the preceding months: There was hardly any filler too.

Likewise, there wasn't any of the blatant 'exhibition' type crap we're now used to seeing at Wrestlemania (Show v Mayweather, Show v Akebono, Show v Godzilla etc).

The matches were a blast.

My favourite wrestler at the time, Kane (yeah, he used to rock!) had one of the wackiest triple threat matches you'll ever see with the Big Show and poor Raven (Even now I remember those golf cart antics vividly).

In what many purists saw as the dream technical match-up of the time, Kurt Angle faced the now passed away Chris Benoit in a gripping encounter (one of many classics they would later have).

What gives this particular one further gravitas is the simple fact that its a matchup we'll never have the pleasure of seeing again on the big stage between these two greats (say what you will about events since then...)

Of course it would be stupid not to point out why WM 17 had major historical significance for wrestling at the time too: Only weeks prior Shane McMahon surreally appeared on WCW Nitro claiming he had bought WCW, kick starting the father vs. son storyline and the later Invasion scenario.

This was the WWF's time to throw a party, having finally driven a stake through Ted Turner's wrasslin' experiment down south.

But whereas the WWE f*cked up big time in the end with the Invasion (a bit like everything else since) the match itself on the night was surprisingly exciting.

I'm not Vince's biggest fan—his dreadful in-ring work would give Mick Foley a run for his money—but to give the devil his due, both he and Shane pulled off a riot with their streetfight.

Unlike nowadays where championships have no relevance, all minor championships were also on the line at the big show.

Jericho and Regal gave a decent opening bout for the IC title, the now legendary Eddie Guerrero also had a decent but not outstanding bout with Test for the European Championship, and Chyna squashed super-feminist (and f'n hilarious) Ivory for the Women's title.

Although the matches weren't amazing, like any good booker knows, it kept the titles relevant in the fans eyes that night—something the WWE has forgotten (or in the case with its B-list Hollywood writing staff, never known).

Without doubt, though, the highlights of the night came in the upper card.

One of them has since been rarely surpassed—I've got three letters for ya—TLC.

'TLC II' as it was dubbed was a classic and usually always gets a nod from fans as one of the standout match-ups of this decade. Of course it helped that the six guys involved were willing to do anything to steal the show.

The Dudleyz, The Hardyz and Edge & Christian will probably go down as three of the best tag teams ever to grace wrestling and with matches like this, how could you seriously argue with that?

Hanging over the ring, the tag titles never seemed so prestigious as bodies and limbs crashed through tables, fell off ladders and got smacked sideways by chairs. Completely breathtaking chaos and I remember loving every bit of it.

Of course, you might say it was a glorified spot-fest, and yeah, it probably was—but it should take nothing away from the enthralling nature of the match and the superhuman efforts of the guys involved.

As I've said before WM 17 was the complete package—alongside your Benoits v Angles providing wrestling clinics, you had absolute mayhem your TLCs and streetfights; there really was something for everyone.

Even a Gimmick Battle Royal was held for the older fans; Doink, someone who I barely remember from my own childhood wrestling fan period, memorably getting a big pop (by the way don't anyone ever tell you clowns aren't scary after watching It).

One thing I was shocked to find out however when researching this article was that Triple H and Undertaker had never met each other on PPV prior to WM 17 (and I imagine, haven't met each other much since). That's astonishing—especially considering the amount of time, even then, both had been in the World Title scene.

Their match was another classic confrontation between two real pros in the ring. Although Triple H may count himself disappointed to have been yet another victim of Taker's unrelentless WM streak, in a way, having defeated Austin just a month previously (and cleanly) at No Way Out, it was a good booking decision to keep things balanced.

After a brief lull, we came to the main event. Texas' own Stone Cold against the arguably his successor as the biggest star in wrestling at the time, The Rock.

For weeks the match had been built subtly—there was nobody chasing someone around a house, there was hardly any name calling, and there was definitely nothing below the belt (which ironically seems to be more a major feature in the PG era more than the later stages of the Attitude era I would argue).

The fact that Austin had earned his shot months previously (after winning a really good Royal Rumble that year too I must say) gave the match a real 'unstoppable force coming up against an immovable object quality' that the storyline team realy did well to build and the booking team did well to build months in advance.

Austin's then real-life wife and manager, Debra, was made to accompany The Rock to the ring by McMahon in the weeks beforehand in a brilliant angle leading up to the match.

The match itself was a humdinger and probably the best match on the night. Hardly anyone saw the finish coming and in an odd way, it completely made sense.

Stone Cold, having lost cleanly to the Rock's previous rival HHH apparently didn't think he could beat the Rock in front of his home crowd without help, or so we later learned, and so he signed a "deal with the devil", as J.R soon began calling it with Vince, and formed the 'two man power trip' with HHH.

It was more plausible than any SWERVE!! Vince Russo could think up in a million years—not to mention, genuinely shocking at the time. With a heel Austin there were endless possibilities, even without an Invasion, right?

***

Well that about does it for now. Its been a nice nostalgia trip. This will probably be my last article in the wrestling section (barring the return of Bret Hart or something) so in case I don't hear from ya again: Good morning, good day, and good night! All the best.

A Tribute To 10 Top Asian Sportsmen Around Today

Matthew Maloney — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 10:00:36 -0400

Being half-Chinese and half-Irish I was at once pleased that Yang finally landed Asia's first major but also dissappointed Irishman Padraig Harrington harikaried the 8th, ending the defending champions hopes. The biggest story was neither Harrington, nor even Woods however, but Yang. After Y.E Yang's historic capture of the 91st US PGA Championship it now seems appropriate to highlight some of Asia's top sportsmen currently active in professional sport today. While its undoubtedly true that many Asians have yet to embrace many of the Western games and sporting activites we have come to appreciate (and take for granted), the recent hosting of major Western sporting events like the Olympics in Beijing in 2008 and the joint Korean-Japanese hosting World Cup in 2002 have opened many Asians up to the idea of taking up traditional Western sports like soccer, basketball, cricket and indeed even rugby (many believe the 2019 RWC is a dead cert to be hosted by Japan). With that in mind we now chart Asia's current frontline of sporting ambassadors. It may be wise to note that we may just be seeing the start of even more Asian participation, hopefully, in elite sport in the years to come.

Begin Slideshow

Did Forrest Griffin Throw The Fight?

Matthew Maloney — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 12:00:56 -0400

Its been more than a couple of days now but the events of UFC 101 still play a bit like a broken record in the mind for many a UFC fan, not least due to the controversies that arose.

First Sadollah's fight was stopped, to what seemed like to everyone in the crowd and his mother, prematurely; and as always with split decisions, decisions end up being debating points, not the definitive conclusions to the fights the judges had hoped for.

But even among all this, there was one fight that stood out on the card as particularly—there's no other word for it here—shocking: Forrest Griffin-Anderson Silva.

While the card did have a certain inevitability/predictability about it, it must be said, even before fights were fought and blood was spilled, Griffin-Silva still stood out in the end, not because Silva won—obviously a result many expected—but because of the absolutely mortifying manner that Griffin crumbled to the Brazilian middleweight master.

Now all things being equal, a light-heavyweight, especially a former light-heavy champion, is bound to have some natural advantage against a middleweight coming up from his natural weight to face him.

Sure, Silva isn't just any middleweight many could argue. In fact, he's highly regarded as the best P4P fighter in the world, in a world of Fedor Emelianenko's and GSP's no less. There's no doubt he would have backed himself, even against an ex-champ.

But after knocking down the UFC golden boy three times—at times mocking him openly by wagging his face at him and then cheekily letting Griffin up to resume what would of by then seemed to Griffin as a match conducted in the seventh circle of hell—I don't think anyone can argue that Griffin wasn't made to look like a real loser by Silva.

I know in my eyes, I can never look at Griffin the same way again.

Which leads to the overwhelming question: Did Griffin throw the fight at UFC 101?

Certainly he acted like a man that had just thrown a fight. With "knockout" declared, Griffin got up and scrambled out of the arena under a towel, with his tail between his legs. No doubt the Philly crowd, having just seen the Sadollah debacle, were in no forgiving mood to cheer another short fight.

And how about Silva's antics? To the rapacious boos and jeers before the fight, Silva looked extremely confident, smirking and making faces at the crowd people usually reserve for making at babies.

The manner in which he conducted himself in the fight betrayed an inevitability to the result in hindsight. What kind of fighter fights like a man who seems to know his victory in the fight is already assured? I'll tell you, either a very, very confident one or one that knows victory is a procession.

Of course, it all goes back to the details.

We are all aware now of Silva's situation. With three fights left until retirement the UFC is desperately hoping Silva earns the kudos he needs to challenge Machida. A loss to Griffin would of made the fight an impossibility, certainly in the timescale Silva has already set out by already announcing his retirement date.

Was Silva cynically mocking the UFC's WWE-like "booking" with his openly bravado theatrics? It's hilarious to think he was making real hay of such a hypothetical situation he may of found himself in...talk about a "dry" sense of humour.

I guess we'll never know for sure. Does the UFC "book" results to make fights in the future more lucrative? Do fighters throw fights of their own accord? Everyone has problems right?

With apparently "a broken jaw" for his troubles, nuanced spectators will continue to question.

Having seen an entire football league unravelled by match fixing (which went from the league commissioners right down to TV presenters), watched South Korea openly boss referees in front of 2 billions viewers at the 2002 WC and watched (subsequently proven) drug cheats cry openly at the Olympics after "winning" their pieces of painted silver—only a pitiable man would take everything at face value nowadays.

Lawrence Dallaglio: 'Lol's' Legacy

Matthew Maloney — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:14:59 -0400

One year has now passed since Dallaglio last scrummaged for London Wasps and over 2 years has passed since that faithful night in the Stade De France where he was to make his last appearence for England; ironically against the very team he debuted for England against, the current top ranked team in world rugby union, South Africa.

It is now time too look back on the legacy of an undoubted great of the game.

Although this piece in no way seeks to make a definitive assessment of Dallaglio's legacy within the game, perhaps it should be seen as hopefully a reflection of the tone future treatments of his career, successes and triumphs will take.

Without doubt, Dallaglio is one of the most decorated players in the modern game, particurlay in terms of the professional era in the Northern Hemisphere.

With 5 English Premiership titles, 3 Powergen Cups, 2 European cups, 4 six nations championships and a career pinnacle World Cup winner's medal, Dallaglio can look back at his medal haul with a level of satisfaction very, very few players have had or will have the privilege of having.

Of course like many other great sportsmen or women, the trophies, titles and medals are also a reminder of the sacrifices made to attain them.

In Dallaglio's case, a litany of troubles come to mind here, not least the highly controversial and potentially career destroying News of the World cocaine scandal in which he became mirred in whilst captaining his country for the first time.

The tragic loss of his sister in his teenage years in the Marchioness Disaster and later, the breakdown in his relationship with his spouse and mother of his 3 children also must spring to mind.

As he himself puts it: often rugby became more an "escape" and a "home from home" than a job or lifestyle as life went on.

Dallaglio is an unbelievably frank man at times, labelling himself an "emotional retard" and "indulgent" in his book. And you do get the impression, rugby often became a professional excuse of sorts for him not to deal with self-confessed, more important aspects of his life.

Do the personal troubles then add more colour or provide an unforgivable blot to his legacy as a great of the game?—I think the former.

Dallaglio was made to pay dearly for his foolhardiness as part of the 'honey-trap' the News of the World had prepared for him. He was stripped of the captaincy and fined (which he informs us he later got back, by way of apology from th ERU).

Although the ramifications of the "show-trial" set up by the ERU may have ended many an England career, Dallaglio eventually did take a paper to court winning damages and reparing his reputation somewhat. The retirement of Martin Johnson and his reinstatement as England captain was the final triumph in this sorry chapter, although bittersweet in itself as he was to retire, temporarily as it turned out, himself.

Triumph over personal misfortune isn't the only thing that must factor in when considering his legacy: The sheer longevity and breadth of his career is almost unparalleled within the game.

Beginning his career in the amateur days of rugby union in England, Dallaglio was called upon to adapt and later shed some of the more enjoyable aspects of that bygone era.

He freely admits never "having seen the inside of a gym" until his early twenties for instance. Likewise, a recurring theme in his book is a fondness for a trip to the pub.

Of course, this isn't to paint Dallaglio as a working class hero of sorts, he did come from a decidedly middle-class family, but nonetheless the change to professional rugby and his later excelling during the professional phase of his career winning titles with Wasps right up to his retirement provide an interesting caveat to his achievements.

Longevity indeed.

Son of an Italian immigrant and an Irish mother with decidedly Irish roots Dallaglio faced many major decisions quite early in life as regards international rugby.

Its impossible to say whether I'd be writing this if he really had ended up an Italian international (of course as an Irish international it would have been very interesting indeed!) but clearly for his own sake, in hindsight he made the right choice.

Massive disappointments with the schoolboys selection where rewarded with a breakthrough period with the first England Sevens world cup squad which went on to win the first ever World Cup in that code of rugby.

The trailblazing, much like the later success in the World Cup and appearances in consecutive world cup finals didn't end just with England however. The breadth of his career is perhaps finally illustrated with his adventures with the Lions.

As a winning Lions tourist as part of the now legendary 1997 (and last successful) Lions Tour to South Africa, Dallaglio left a quantifiable legacy outside of England and the Northern Hemisphere.

Although later tours were to be marred by injury, in almost ironical fashion being forced to pull out of the 2005 tour was to save his relationship with his now wife and keep his family together.

The end of his Lions career was to provide Dallaglio an opportunity to save his personal and family life and an important realisation for the Wasps man was gleamed about keeping his eye on the ball off the field as well as on.

Finally, Dallaglio's role at Wasps for close to two decades cannot be understated.

Captaining the club successfully in the transition from the amateur and professional eras and leading his only club to unprecendented domestic and European success, he is sure to be never forgotten by Wasps supporters, probably attaining the recognition of being the greatest Wasps player of all time in this regard—for both his playing and his undoubted loyalty to the Wasps ideal of a "family club".

So when assessing Dallaglo's legacy then, taking into account the trophies, personal problems he had to overcome, the longevity of his career, and the breadth of his achievements as Wasps captain, England captain and regular international, Lions Tourist with the England Sevens it is impossible not to understate that "Lol", like him or loathe him is one of the all time greats of rugby in my opinion.

There may have been better no. 8s out there in the past (or then again maybe not), there were probably better England captains previously, and obviously even more legendary Lions Tourists (through injury misfortune limiting him to one test series you could argue) but taking everything above about his legacy into account however, it is hard even for me as an Irishman, not to respect Dallaglio's career and what he brought to the table as both a rugby player and a man.

This has been a review of Lawrence Dallaglio's autobiography 'It's in the Blood: My Life'.

***

"Lawrence is a born leader. If you had a group of blokes stuck in the jungle, he would become a leader of that group"—Martin Johnson (current England head- coach, ex-Leicester and England captain)

Exclusive: McMahon-Russo Plot Revealed

Matthew Maloney — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 13:36:55 -0400

I was instructed to be on level three of a nearby carpark at exactly 3.30 p.m. yesterday.

The piece of paper with this court message, dredged from words and letters from various magazine clippings, gave me no clue as to whom...or what to look for when I had gotten there.

Often its only a hunch, an instinct that leads to the big payoffs in my profession and in this regard, yesterday's date with destiny was no different...It was simply a hunch that brought me there on that wet afternoon.

As an aspiring investigative journalist, I had by now become well aware of the stakes on the line in these kinds of arrangements: My contacts usually neither want their identity revealed nor their livelihoods compromised—and to risk doing so would surely only thwart my own attempts at a livelihood that few are privileged to in this dark, murky but often enlightening realm of journalism.

In a way, our secret and obviously well-planned meeting orchestrated by my contact "Apollo"—which to be accurate actually took place in a nearby disused lift—was a good sign.

A rule of thumb I've learned is that the effort a prospective source is willing to go through to set up a meeting with you is directly correlated with the importance of the information the source is willing to provide.

And the object provided by my husky-voiced host in the shadows was simply...mind blowing. Vindication of my own ideas I started having about the wrestling industry since the start of the decade and definitely bigger than either me or my source was willing to acknowledge, judging by the brevity of our meeting.

It was a tape.

And on it may well turn out to be the beginnings of a storm that will rock the foundations of Titan Towers.

Here, in full, a world exclusive, and transcribed to the best of my ability, is a phone conversation between Vince Russo and Vince McMahon caught on tape that took place as recently as within the last month:

McMahon: Its Mr. McMahon here, how is everything going down there Vince?

Russo: 'Vince'! We have the same name! Isn't that so cool huh?! SWERVE!!!—I am Gorgodon!, a being from another dimension come to crush mankind...SWERVE!!!: Just kidding! I'm your favourite writer again, who shares the same cool, cool name!

McMahon: Look, uh...Vince, I was just wondering how you're handling all the recent events down there. I hear its getting pretty rough down there with you guys.

Russo: You mean Dixie? Yeah she doesn't look so happy anymore. She got rid of some of the guys that write with me, as if I needed their help.

I was thinking maybe we could bring them back, though, maybe have them do a run-in where they'll beat up the knockouts during a match. We could pretend they're like, pissed off, at all the women here in TNA. And they'll, like beat up a woman backstage every week afterwards.

And then for the PPV we'll book Dixie and Kong to face them in a tag match but...SWERVE!!! She'll join them and beat up Kong and, and, nobody would see that coming. Ever. What do you think? Huh? Huh?

McMahon: [Chuckles] That sounds fantastic, Vince, I think you should try convince Jeff and Dixie to do that. But I'm just wondering where you stand with Dixie, though, is everything okay between you guys?

Russo: [Momentary Silence] Well, I dunno sir, I mean...I'm sure she's grateful you sending me here to help her out and all...but lately she's been giving me the cold shoulder for some reason.

Yesterday, for example, when I proposed we blow up the ring—with all the wrestlers in it—she went very quiet at the meeting. I'm not sure, bit I don't think she's going to go ahead with it.

McMahon: Don't worry. I'm sure she's uh, taking it under consideration. Just keep it up, you're doing a great job down there. Keep churning out the material, wrestling needs people like you. Whats that phrase you suggested, crossing the line?

Russo: Oh yeah, that was sweet, we were all sitting around and I was like drinking lots of coffee and stuff and like, SWERVE!!! Die Hippie Die!!...SWERVE!!! and I just said like, let's cross the line and blow up stuff. Yeah, it was so fun back then. But now...oh, I dunno sir, are you sure Dixie is okay with me?

McMahon: Positive. Like I told you a million times. I was in Subway, getting a large meatball marinara...

Russo: Yeah, Yeah, "You saw a cute woman at the counter and gave her money to set up a wrestling company just for the good of wrestling." I know, sheesh.

McMahon: Just remember, if in doubt ask yourself "What did I do in WCW?" That should make everything clearer.

Russo: Well...I did bring back that "old people making all the young people look like jobbers" storyline. I think its working fine....and I'm trying to make everyone go crazy too like David Flair and Crowbar...I think I might make Joe swerve again, this time on Tazz. Thats what'll be doing for the next couple of days. Sounds good, huh?

McMahon: Ha-Ha! That's my boy! I knew you still had it in you. Dixie will be back on your side in no time, trust me.

Russo: But sir, lately, I've been thinking, like you just said it yourself, wouldn't it be great if I went back up there with you guys?

Don't get me wrong, sending me to WCW was great and winning the World Title was fun...and TNA's great too, I'd like to win the TNA championship too soon, but I was thinking...

McMahon: Oh uh, I'm not sure I follow you..uh...

Russo: Let's take next year's Wrestlemania. Right, I've got this all written down somewhere...[shuffling] Here it is. Right. Let's bring back The Rock to feud with John Cena before WM XXVI.

But here's the best bit: let's turn the Rock gay with Cena on the big night!!! Think about it. Nobody would see it coming!! The two biggest superstars of the last decade, together, in the ring, in holy matrimony! Whad'ya think sir? Huh? Huh?

McMahon: I don't understand, what do you mean?

Russo: Look at the angle: The two biggest superstars out there...in love! It would be shocking. People will be talking about it. Everywhere.

McMahon: Yes, but I still don't get it. Why would I want to do that?

Russo: Listen, nobody will see it coming! People will be shocked! It'll be the biggest SWERVE!!! EVER.

McMahon: I understand that, but it doesn't make sense, how will it be good for the company to have our two biggest wrestlers being gay with each other?

Russo: Because nobody will see it coming. Its so unpredictable. Even those smarks on the net won't see it. And then, we could like, make Cena pregnant, and have everyone guess what's in the briefcase, I mean, guess who the father is, and it'll be like, SWERVE!!! ME!!!, and that's how I can finally come home, Vince. Whad'ya think, huh? Huh?

McMahon: [Clears throat here] Listen Vince, I have something even bigger for you waiting after you finish up in TNA...have you ever heard of something called The Ultimate Fighting Championship?

Russo: No...Will I get to be the booker? I could book the like, book the 'champion' of this thing in an ironman match against a mop though and people will hear about it pretty quick...You know Vince? Or SWERVE!!!, I could call in a favour and ask that cross-eyed midget I've booked against Foley for the title to show up there instead if you want.

McMahon: No, [cackles now] ha-ha, that's good...but no, it'll be something you're not used to. Do you like being in the ring, Russo?

Russo: Hey, you're talking to an ex-World Heavyweight Champ here. Sure I'd be up for it.

McMahon: Well I know this great ah, doctor, that could get you ready for the UFC, he's got some great uh, 'medicines' you're going to need. But listen...that's all in the future.

Right now, I just want you to concentrate really hard on what you're doing now down there. You're doing a great, great job.

Russo: Really?! Oh, thanks, sir. I appreciate you taking the time to call. Really I do. I'm going to do my best to keep Dixie in business. Mark my words, sir!

McMahon: [Chuckles] It's been great talking again. And remember: Don't call me I'll call you if we need to talk, okay? And most importantly, don't mention me to Dixie. Ever. You being there is supposed to be our little secret gift to her okay?

Russo: Yessir!! SWERVE!!!: I am Kooky Brown the greatest breakdancer on the East Side!! Yeah!......

At this point they put down the phone and after a few moments you clearly hear Vince McMahon say the words "If that wacko keeps this stuff up, I'll only have to put on one good show a year and still rake in the money off those idiots" to somebody unknown nearby. The tape ends shortly thereafter.

Well, there you have it. In full the shocking contents of the tape one man risked so much to get to the press. You may ask why reveal the contents exclusively on Bleacher, why not the mainstream media?

The fact of the matter is I have reason to believe my informer has seen my writings on wrestling on this website. Why else would he pick me? And call it another hunch...but I think my informer is a member of the wrestling section.

And if you're reading this sir, thank you. This was the scoop of a lifetime.

No Alonso: No League Title for Liverpool

Matthew Maloney — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 12:08:40 -0400

And so the inevitable happened: Real Madrid eventually got their man.

After months, indeed years of on-off specualtion about a return from Anfield to Spain, Florentino Perez finally ended his pursuit of Alonso whilst blowing all the other fish out of the water with a massive bid; something Juventus had failed to achieve last summer.

The tremors leading up to the transfer were clear. Benitez had before proved willing to sell Alonso, but only at the right price, and Alonso was desperate to go. And so, the £30m figure reached after weeks of intense negotiation proved to be that magical number everybody wanted to hear.

Of course, the majorityof Liverpool fans won't be happy to see the back of a player who has become a firm fan favourite during his time in Anfield. His consistent performancs last season arguably, in hindsight, justified Benitez's decision to keep Alonso at the prospective loss of Gareth Barry.

As for Real Madrid his new club, well if I'm honest Alonso, a regista in the Pirlo mould, is not the type of player I believe Madrid absolutely need if they're going to be successful in Europe.

On the other hand for Liverpool, Alonso was a player they probably absolutely needed to be successful. (And I mean top of the table after 38 games successful, not the Roy of the Rovers cup runs that Liverpool have become adept at accomplishing).

Why is the loss of Alonso so detrimental you ask?

Firstly, there are no ready-made replacements for Alonso in the Liverpool squad.

Granted Gerrard can do everything Alonso can do, it would be a sacrifice for Liverpool at this stage pushing Gerrard back in front of the big four, especially considering the scoring prowess he's displayed in recent seasons.

Lucas Leiva?—Complete donkey, scratch that, complete joke I'm afraid: perhaps the only hilarious thing about Leiva for Liverpool fans is maybe that he himself doesn't know it yet. Once in a blue moon performances against shambolic teams like Newcastle United don't do it for me: They shouldn't be enough to convince Benitez either.

Secondly, Alonso's boot is the pivot on which Liverpool base their attacking game. Tactically positioned alongside Javier Mascherano, Alonso provided great balance to the midfield.

Like Pirlo who had a similar 'bulldog' partner in Genarro Gattusso for Milan, Alonso was free to playmake to his hearts content and one thing we all know Alonso possesses is an extraordinary long range passing ability.

The timing of the transfer also leaves little time to adapt before next season. It would be hard now to imagine Benitez scrapping the system he has spent 5 seasons perfecting at Liverpool since Alonso arrived. In a sense, Liverpool has had one of its vital organs removed with the conclusion of this transfer and a transplant may be too late.

Finally the replacement mooted, Roma's own Alberto Aquilani, is dubious.

As a Roma fan I found it surprising Aquilani was offered a pay increase with his recent new contract, despite his horrendous injury record ever since...well ever since he broke into the first team come to think of it.

25 year old Aquilani, even fit, was not the answer to Roma's problems, nevermind Liverpool's problems.

While hanging a 'work in progress' sign over the home dressing room at Ashburton with the blooding of youth players is a luxury afforded to Arsene Wenger, based on his past success, it is not really a luxury afforded to Benitez who has never had a success in the Premiership.

Traditionally Benitez hasn't prooved great at bringing youngsters into Liverpool's first team anyway by any stretch. Aquilani is a risk Benitez and Liverpool really don't want to be taking in this make or break upcoming season.

As Gillett and Hicks proved with the Jurgen Klinnsmann debacle, they are only to willing to see the back of a manager that has given them much grief over the transfer kitty.

And so with a month to go in the transfer window and less than a week to the start of the season Liverpool must readjust to the loss of a crucial cog in the Liverpool machine.

Can Benitez ease Aquilani into the team smoothly. Will Liverpool change their setup to cope? Can existing squad players step up to Alonso's former mantle at various points of the season?

There are too many questions for anyone to be comfortable with Liverpool's title hopes now I'm afraid.

You'll never walk to the top of the league come May without Alonso, Liverpool. Instead Liverpool may find themselves sprinting with Arsenal and City for the Champions League places in the final run-in.

Should Adrian Mutu Pay Chelsea €17m?

Matthew Maloney — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:28:23 -0400

Last week's decision by the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) could have ramifications for football as big as the Bosman ruling in 1995 and the Webster ruling in 2006. The notable difference being that where the previous legal rulings significantly increased player power in the football market, this newest ruling is almost definitely a triumph for the clubs.

Having tested positive for cocaine in September 2004 his employer, Chelsea FC, decided to sack Mutu in October. After spending almost €30m purchasing Mutu from Parma in the summer of 2003, barely a year and a half later, Mutu was out on his ear with his reputation in tatters.

The CAS have ordered Mutu to repay over half of the investment Chelsea made in him. The final figure of €17m (which was originally €9m as deemed by FIFA) is a hammerblow...even by a footballer's standards.

Of course, one would be pushed to ask, why did Chelsea push for such drastic action in the first place with Mutu? Surely a €30m write-off on a player was too much back in 2004?

Maybe for most, but probably not for Roman Abramovich.

Even then, the most naive of football fans will still tell you that there is a more than fair chance the young, rich, and famous playboys of the Premier League will often experiment with recreational drugs anyway.

Don't clubs deal with this sort of thing in-house?

And that's where Mutu can be rightly aggrieved. The decision to make Mutu's (admittedly disgraceful) actions public and sack him on that basis was more than likely, a politically motivated decision within the club.

Adrian Mutu, I can assure you, is not the first footballer in history to have been caught snorting cocaine by his club, so why treat him as such?

Various cynics have suggested his quite public spat with Mourinho at the time may have been a decisive factor in the events leading up to Mutu's dismissal...was Mutu faking injury? We'll never know for sure.

But the sacking was also to prove a double blow for Mutu, because along with losing his lucrative contract at a clearly successful club, Mutu was banned from football for seven months and was fined £20,000 by the FA.

Mutu did eventually return to football however; moving to Italy, signing with Juventus (who were themselves to drag moral standards in football to a new low, ironically). So by January 2005, Juventus had come to aquire for free what Chelsea had paid over the odds for.

Another obvious question, and one proposed by Mutu's legal team then arises, can Juventus be held liable for part of the compensation? Common sense would dictate this would certainly be a bit of a stretch, especially considering Juventus were simply dealing with a free agent at the time of his signing and nothing more.

The CAS agreed.

Today, Mutu has established a reputation for himself as a reformed man at Fiorentina, remarrying and living a far cleaner lifestyle off the pitch—away from the world of porn stars and the devil's dandruff.

But the past has come back to haunt Mutu. Even the salary increase Mutu received from Fiorentina with his last contract will not be enough to compensate for the incredible sum staring Mutu right in the face.

Two options remain for Mutu: To take the case further into the court system and appeal at the EU level or to simply retire from the game and avoid having to pay the compensation altogether—remember, the decision was a ruling by the CAS, not a civil court and therefore is not applicable outside sport.

Time is ticking.

Chelsea would be foolish to expect the money back in one lump sum this summer and while Mutu's teammates at Fiorentina admirably have come together in a fund-raising effort for their teammate, it is entirely possible now that Mutu may soon become bankrupt should he decide to play on.

As the dust clears, the implications for the wider world of football are enormous. A precedent has been set whereby clubs can demand compensation from players for breach of contract but at a more fundamental level, it seems FIFA has finally decided where to draw the line with players.

Little Big Men: Why Can't Small Wrestlers Make It to the Big Time in WWE?

Matthew Maloney — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 16:20:44 -0400

The WWE is a big man's world.

The Khalis and Kozlovs of this world seem to get a free pass to the main event scene. Along the way, more than a few of the little guys get thrown around a ring or bearhugged into oblivion in a frantic effort to get them over.

It's a tried and tested booker's strategy done since the WWE's earliest days.

A pity about the wrestling though.

It has long been known in wrestling circles that Vince McMahon is a strong adherent of the "bigger is better" philosophy. Numerous steroid scandals, which have engulfed the WWE, have shown Vince to be anything but an innocent bystander in those ordeals.

But the question Vince has probably never asked himself is if bigger really is better in pro wrestling.

For example, many longtime and knowledgeable fans today regard Shawn Michaels as probably the greatest wrestler of the modern era.

What many fans don't realise however is that even in his prime in the '90s, Shawn handily qualified to compete for the now defunct Light Heavyweight championship.

To give you an idea of how light heavyweight champions are regarded within the WWE pantheon, take a look at this brief list of some former champions:

Taka Michinoku: A joke character who was frequently dubbed during his promos. This was hilarious until the joke got stale and nobody knew what to do with him.
Gillberg: Knock-off McDonalds version of WCW's Bill Goldberg.
Essa Rios: Who?!
Taijiri: Involved in a blatantly racist angle as William Regal's "boy."
Crash Holly: His gimmick involved acting like he was just born.

Imagine if Michaels had started his career in the '90s in WWE's light heavyweight division...Michaels's career may simply have never have gotten off the ground.

What perhaps clearly illustrates the bankruptcy of the bigger is better ethos so ingrained in the WWE was its former rival WCW's use of comparatively sized wrestlers, whom they dubbed "crusierweights."

Forget the branding; the matches still hold up to this day. Wrestlers like Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, Billy Kidman, Pyschosis, and Ultimo Dragon regularly tore the house down.

When people look back today on WCW's initial success in the so-called "Monday Night Wars" many overlook how WCW was able to truly differentiate itself from the WWF by showcasing the high-flyers and lucha-libre talent at its disposal.

Something the WWE, to this day quite simply don't have a clue about booking properly: As shown by their lame take on the crusierweight division earlier this decade.

The fact that WCW has so far been the only real rival to Vince McMahon's WWE juggernaut over the past two decades must lead some people to question what aspects of its wrestling programming it got right.

The cruiserweight division was certainly one of those things in my opinion, and an important one, too.

Of course, there are success stories for the smaller wrestlers in the WWE. But unfortunately they're qualified success stories, in many respects.

Mysterio and Jericho both made their names first in WCW. Both were so talented in their own ways that it was probably going to be impossible for even Vince to keep them from getting over with WWE fans.

Likewise, Christian, formerly of the Light Heavyweight champion's curse, was forced to further his career in TNA before returning, unceremoniously to WWE's "third" show.

Perhaps today only Jeff Hardy can be held up as a true graduate of the WWE light- heavyweight experiment, having gone onto main event success.

The problem seems to be that "small' men of the WWE simply must be outrageously talented to have any chance of becoming a success in the WWE. In Hardy's case, an outrageous bravery to perform death-defying manoeuvres, in Jericho's case, outrageous promo talent and in Mysterio's case, outrageous in ring work.

But unfortunately patience is not a gift granted to smaller wrestlers and many fail to get time to hone and improve these aspects of being a pro-wrestler.

Like Christian, Mysterio, Jericho often the only choice is to learn their trade in a wrestling entity not owned by a certain Vince McMahon. And with Vince Russo and co. currently endangering public intelligence at TNA, the opportunities to make it to the big time in pro wrestling for the Jerichos, Mysterios and indeed Michaels of tomorrow are coming fewer and further between.

I Know Arsenal Won't Buy Him, But Still I Will Suggest: Patrick Vieira

Matthew Maloney — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:49:53 -0400

"Vieira, woa-oh-oh-oh, he comes from Sene-gal, he plays for Arse-nal"

It has now been four long years since this chant was last heard emanating from Arsenal supporters, and four long years they have been for Arsenal indeed.

With his last kick for the club, legendary Arsenal captain Patrick Vieira secured Arsenal's last piece of silverware to date, with a penalty in the 2005 FA cup final. And from that point on, both Vieira's and Arsenal's fortunes have contrasted, dramatically.

In every season since Vieira's departure in 2005, Arsenal's former captain has won a Serie A medal, which on a personal level for him, probably vanquished the embarrassing memories he had of his earlier stint in Serie A at AC Milan.

On the other hand, however, his former mentor Arsene Wenger has nothing to show for the rigorous training pitch exercises, clever transfer work, and the prudent financial planning he has come to be famous for over the years; something is missing.

By all accounts, almost all journalists, pundits and fans seem to agree Arsenal need two things to push on for the title: A proper defensive midfielder and experience/leadership in the dressing room.

Who ticks both these boxes in abundance? Patrick. Vieira.

This may come as a shock to many not least because many consider Vieira's story with Arsenal finished. It's fair to say any move would probably divide fans; if I remember right, when Juventus came to Highbury in the '05-'06 edition of the CL, the reception for Vieira was certainly less than flattering, with some even outright booing him.

Nonetheless any move for Vieira would make a lot of sense considering the clubs current financial state and with Vieira Arsenal would acquire a player who knows the club inside out, someone who has worked with Wenger before and most importantly, in my opinion, real leadership on and off the pitch...something that Henry, Gallas and now Fabregas have failed to provide for Arsenal's talented youngsters.

Pros

Vieira was voted fifth greatest Arsenal player of all time on the official Arsenal website last year. In many ways he is quite simply Mr. Arsenal. Vieira would not come back to 'his' Arsenal just for one final paycheck.
He would be cheap. Vieira is no longer wanted by Inter who are looking to cut down the size of their enormous squad so a transfer fee would only be symbolic (if any at all). I'm sure Vieira and his agent are also aware of Arsenal's wage structure, especially for older members of the squad.
He would immediately provide leadership and experience. Not just any old experience, but a direct presence and a voice from the days of the Invincibles.
He is still one of the world's premier DMs and currently plays there for the French national team, helping them to a WC final in 2006.
He would add a physical presence and sorely needed aggressive streak to the team that Arsenal have lacked since the days of Campbell, Keown, Lauren etc. Previously daunting trips away to Stoke, Hull, Bolton, Blackburn, Sunderland won't necessarily mean dropped points anymore.

Cons

Vieira is clearly past his prime and at the age of 33, probably won't be able to play the 50+ games a season required by a top four first team captain.
Would Wenger be willing to make a break from his youth orientated transfer policy?

Conclusion

Of course this all open's a genie's bottle. Why not bring back Campbell, Henry, or even Pires? They all seem to be playing well since leaving Arsenal too, right?

But at the moment what Arsenal need most is a) a proven DM and b) And a proven leader. None of the above fulfill these key criteria.

Besides Arsenal have done this before. Aging greats who were also past their prime, like Dennis Bergkamp, David Seaman and Martin Keown, once brought nuanced heads to the Arsenal dressing room; today they lack proven winners.

And one thing Vieira always has been over the past decade is a winner.

To see a clip featuring Vieira singing his own chant click here!

Special Thanks to Deepak Israni for allowing me to use his series format.

Flashback: Survivor Series 2000

Matthew Maloney — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:40:19 -0400

This flashback is inspired by a strange and wonderful event this morning.

While rooting through the family videotape collection earlier (yes, there was "home entertainment" before DVDs and YouTube young'uns) I stumbled upon something I had forgotten about long ago, deep, deep inside the back of the cabinet.

Covered in cobwebs and shrouded in dust lay my one and only WWF video―Survivor Series 2000.

So old is this video that the price tag on the front states a price of £16.99, which for those of you who don't know, we haven't used pounds here since Monica Lewinsky was famous.

So, like an Enid Blyton novel, I eagerly put my newfound treasure to use and slapped it into the similarily cobweb-covered VCR perhaps secretly hoping for a nostalgia trip. What follows here is a look at the PPV events on my trip down memory lane.

________________________________________________________________

The tape started with an excellent opening video package and promo of The Game Triple H. Really sets the tone for the PPV and main event where The Game will meet his arch nemesis "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Some of you may remember a cliffhanger in WWF storylines a few years ago where Austin was run over by a car. Apparently, it was the Game that masterminded it all along. Who would've known, eh?

1. 3 v. 3 Intergender Tag Match

T&A v. Blackman, Crash & Molly Holly **1/2

Just to get this off my chest: Trish is probably the single sexiest woman in the history of wrestling. I will stand by that to my grave. Watching this I fantasized about rubbing honey all over her amazing body and licking her all over like a big bear―which says a lot about her in-ring work here.

In fairness, Trish really is a real damn loss to the wrestling world, not just because she was a looker, but a decent actor and wrestler too over the years unlike say, Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson.

As for the match it's strange watching the late Test and Crash duke it out here. Overall average stuff however by everyone, nice diving sunset flip by Molly (where is she now?) over a clearly awkward Trish.

A "Team ECK" promo follows. These guys are real comedy gold together. I remember reading in Powerslam many years ago that because Kurt Angle was so damn good at playing the goofy Olympic prat it would be almost impossible to take him seriously if he went serious...."What you guys drink, Molsons? They have that as a non-alcoholic drink, don't they?"

2. Survivor Series Elimination

Road Dogg, K-Kwik, Chyna, "The One" Billy Gunn v. The Radicalz **1/2

Average stuff here again. Who would've guessed back in 2000, Road Dogg and Monty Sopp would go on to have one of the worst cage matches in human history? Radicalz look the real deal here (take notes Legacy), really reminds you of a time when the WWE could put a proper heel stables together.

Again, weird watching Benoit and Guerrero tag each other. Also funny seeing Chyna here...If I remember right, she was in an interesting "will she/won't she" storyline with the loved up Eddie Guerrero or "Latino Heat" as he called himself.

For the finish Benoit gets outside assistance from Saturn to pin poor Billy off the suplex...Billy's career never recovered.

Chris Jericho pulls a outstanding promo here (What's new?) on his feud with Kane: "I thought it was all about coffee, I was ready to have a sanka on a poll match where the winner gets to pour coffee over the loser as much as he wants" then Chris gets all serious: "This is about a man who everytime he looks into the mirror sees an ugly, bitter, unforgiving monster...that man is me." Is Chris the best promo maker ever?

Nice pre-match recap: "If the world can't accept the freak, then I'm going to give them the monster". Really makes you wonder why they ever decided to unmask Kane and turn him into a Kozlov; it made no sense then and it makes less sense now.

Great storylines like this made Kane's character far more than the two dimensional cheap Michael Myers ripoff we're all too accustomed to in the WWE nowadays.

3. Singles Match

Kane v. Chris Jericho ***1/2

Jericho starts with a flurry. Very acrobatic stuff. Kane debuts a weird standing reverse camel clutch thingy mid-match. To my knowledge he never used this move ever again. Jericho keeps standing up after every fist and at one point grabs Kane's tights to keep himself upright-great ring psychology.

Great finish with Kane catching Jericho one-handed off the Lionsault and getting up to chokeslam him.

4. European Championship

William Regal v. Hardcore Holly *1/2

Regal starts with a typical Brit ponce promo. Regal keeps working the arm. Waving. Working the arm. Waving...Holly eventually goes nuts and drops Regal with the belt.

Has Hardcore at any point of his career ever been over? Everybody went for a tinkle during this one, including me.

Oh, Trish and Angle here! Trish keeps talking about "special assistance" now that Stephanie McMahon isn't around. JR hilariously points out if that were him, he'd be getting a room right now

5. Singles Match

The Rock v. Rikishi ***1/2

The storyline between the two leading up to this is outstanding, probably the most outrageous storyline in the last 10 years the WWF initially got right. It was Rikishi who ran over Stone Cold, and he did it for his friend and fellow Samoan, The Rock.

After naming legends like Lou Thesz, Buddy Rogers, Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan; he pointed out how pro wrestling has always been about the 'Great White Hope' and about guys like the Rock's father Rocky Johnson being kept down. So Rikishi taking out Austin allowed the Rock to finally reach the top.

But they completely missed the boat on this one later. First they go on to reveal it was HHH who told Rikishi what to do, which makes no sense considering Rikishi and Too Cool were frequently at odds with the McMahon-Helmsley machine previously.

This may have been backstage politician HHH making sure he got No. 1 heel billing in WWF land in hindsight and changing a key storyline that didn't have him involved (I'm sure Rikishi's flipping burgers somehwhere thanking HHH for that, like Randy Orton will be...).

Then they jobbed out Rikishi to everybody in the company until his heel character was destroyed. Thus, this match was the high point of the angle.

Great heel wrestling from Rikishi. Keeps going for the Rock's injured chest whenever Rock gathers momentum. Rock suffers a stink-face. That's one thing I've always liked with The Rock, he always sold well and made his opponent look strong beyond what was called for.

Rikishi sells the People's Elbow like he got hit with a taser for the finish. Rikishi repeatedly Bonzai Drops Rock after attaining major heel heat.

Commissioner Foley makes Trips' match No DQ. Foley's hair is short here. Wow.

6. Women's Championship

Lita v. Ivory *1/2

I've never been a fan of women's wrestling. Clumsy match. Nice crossbody onto Steven Richards and Ivory by Lita. Ivory wins with Richards' assistance. Before I move on let me point out RTC as another example of a heel stable conceptualised and booked well.

Jericho attacks Kane backstage.

7. WWF Championship

Kurt Angle v. Undertaker ****

Kurt Angle cuts a brilliant promo pre-match calling for people to take a moment of silence to reflect on his (excellent) first year in wrestling. Kurt must have done this in a past life or something, he's great at riling up people like this.

Taker throws Angle a chair to start the match because Kurt keeps running out of the ring. Kurt obliges and hits him on the back before the bell rings. Kurt's ring psychology is absolutely brilliant. He keeps evading Taker and throwing cheap shots like the coward he'd have us believe.

But Kurt succumbs to an arm-bar of all things and taps out. Pity, E&C run out to distract the ref. Kurt works on the knee.

Taker chokeslams.

E&C once again are distracting poor Earl. The fans are really into this Kurt reverses a Tombstone, slides over the ropes and crawls under the ring. Taker is able to grab Angle and gives him the Last Ride.

Earl refuses to count! Another Kurt comes from behind for the rollup! Amazing finish.

I remember thinking at the time if Earl suddenly thought Taker was Bret Hart or something. Turned out in the week after, Taker was pinning Kurt's real life brother Eric Angle. From behind, they look so alike. Whatever happened to Eric?

Kurt's hilarious. He runs straight out of the building without his belt and into his car.

XFL cheerleaders promo. This is mightily ironic to watch.

8. Survivor Series Elimination

RTC, Edge & Christian w/Val Venis v. Hardyz & Dudleyz ***

Good solid match with the faces finding themselves a few men down for most of the match. These guys know each other inside out and its a reminder of how a strong tag division really adds to a card. Hardy grabs the win over the "Goodfather," cue pandemonium and tables.

9. No DQ match

HHH v. Stone Cold ***1/2

Starts decent in ring before inevitably spilling to the outside. These guys are tearing the place apart. HHH gets juiced. Stone Cold drinks a few beers mid-match and smacks Hunter with the cans.

Nice counter of the Stunner into a neckbreaker. This is gruelling stuff, a real brawl as opposed a wrestling match. The Game gets flipped over from a pedigree position through the announce table off the ring steps.

Austin stunners, but he's not covering, he's wrapping a chair around HHH's leg. Then relents. Cue boos. Then places it on his neck! Cue cheers.

HHH rolls away before Austin can make contact off the top rope.

Stone Cold follows and the Radicalz eventually interfere. The Game waits in his car for an ambush. Before we know it HHH's car is being lifted by Austin with a giant forklift. This is one of the most memorable PPV finishes I've seen as Austin drops the car with HHH inside amazingly.

Some post-match interviews. Nothing special from all the Holly's. Rikishi gives a decent promo. We see Lita getting stitches post-match. Ivory is hilarious playing an extreme feminist who's "truly trying to help Lita clean herself up."

Taker gives a good interview saying he was outsmarted rather than outfought. Kurt tells us he was using one of his three I's―intelligence, he knows his character inside out.

Final Thoughts on my epic journey

Overall, this was a good PPV. The matches by themselves aren't amazing but it reminded me of all the good storylines, characters and angles that the WWF had going for it once upon a time.

I do remember it being a lot better though when I was younger. Maybe some things are meant to be watched only once.

It's also a nice throwback to what the elders once called "common sense" was used in the WWF/E and when wrestling was more interesting.

Matches need storylines behind them no matter how good the wrestling is, and that's the most important thing I can take form this trip down memory lane.

Hope you enjoyed this flashback.

MMA: "The Greatest Sport in the World"...?

Matthew Maloney — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 11:58:49 -0400

Watching UFC at 5 AM in the morning, I couldn't help but prick my ears up at an aside comment by commentator Joe Rogan to his fellow announcer during one of the fights: "Right now you are watching the best sport in the world."

Naturally, this got me thinking.

Was this was just Joe Rogan getting caught up in the hype? Let's face it: UFC's 100th event really was a landmark for the sport. Many never gave the sport or UFC a chance in its early years, when phrases like "Human cock-fighting," "barbaric," and even "inhuman" were bandied about by the mainstream media and when many states in America refused to sanction even a sanitised version of the sport within their territories.

Today, UFC has much to laud itself about. MMA is no longer an exotic underground activity a la Frank Dux and co. in the movie 'Bloodsport'. It's finally become 'Big'. Big enough to attract celebrity endorsements, big enough to be sponsored by well known brands and big enough to be watched in Ireland at 5am in the morning...live!

Of course, the other possibility is that Rogan, like other MMA enthusiasts, truly believe their's is the purest sport. That MMA is the height of physical competitive endeavor between humans.

That MMA is quite simply, the greatest sport.

But, to many, this is a very subjective issue. How can one compare sports anyway?! What about sports that are only found in certain countries, played among certain classes, among certain cultures?

For example, in my country, Gaelic football and hurling are popular. Who's to say they're 'inferior' because there's little interest in them anywhere else...especially if you haven't played or watched those sports. How the hell could good 'ol Joe rule them out without even knowing about them? Say it ain't so Joe.

For the record, I hate GAA and hurling. But that's not the point.

Likewise, polo, which is likely only to be enjoyed by the richer among us who own horses, access to stables, and a pitch designated for such use. Who's to say polo wouldn't be more popular and loved if we could all have access to it.

Should the genius of a sport come down to accessibility?

It's no secret many among may never get the chance to play certain sports for lack of equipment, money or even time. It's also no secret many of us can never play certain sports due to certain physical ailments or conditions. But certain sports are universally played everywhere precisely because they overcome these barriers.

Today, billions around the world know, follow and play football/soccer because the idea is so damn easy even a kid from a slum can understand it and 'jumpers for goalposts' make it a very cheap option for people for whom the notion of polo or tennis would be otherworldly.

Clearly, MMA has the potential to be practiced everywhere. Historically, martial arts have developed wherever there has been conflict in human affairs. Namely everywhere by everyone.

The modern action we see in the UFC really isn't too far off the action witnessed beneath the torches of the Coliseum 2000 years ago, a pit in eastern Mongolia 1000 years ago, or a fight between two knackers on main street 15 minutes ago.

In this way, MMA fundamentally isn't too alien a concept to those aforementioned 'kids in a slum' as football is. With a gym, the right coach and a few mats we might even see a few of these 'rougher' kids excel at the sport owing to their harder background.

What about sports that incorporate other sports? Doesn't football have an element of athletics? MMA certainly has an element of boxing and wrestling involved. And surely American football owes alot to rugby. Are these newer, amalgamated versions of prior sports superior?

I can see a lot of logic in this point. Because MMA actively subsumes boxing along with wrestling and other martial arts many would say what's the point in watching only boxing or wrestling alone? Why watch a fight between two boxers with one hand tied behind their backs when you can watch them fight with two hands...and two feet...heck their whole bodies!

In this way MMA encourages one to have proficiency in many sporting endeavours and thus could be classed as a 'total contact sport'—making sports like boxing or amateur wrestling 'inferior' in this sense.

A final aspect I'm going to point out in this little debate centers around the 'characters' and sports personalities we find in certain sports. For many people, sport only truly becomes interesting due to the participants involved. Some people follow a sport because a family member did or was involved in it, most likely your own father or brother(s).

While still others look to charismatic, inspirational and outstanding personalities like Muhammad Ali and Lance Armstrong who transcended the boundaries of their sport to reach out to people and spark an interest in the sport's they came to represent.

Does the MMA world have have similarly outstanding personalities? Fedor? GSP? Brock Lesnar anyone?!

Not at the moment. Much as I hate to say it hardly anyone outside the MMA world is likely to know of the achievements of Fedor Emelianenko. Even Lesnar owed a large degree of his initial drawing power to his WWE background.

So, in this last regard, MMA has not succeeded as a sport. While true mixed martial artists like Bruce Lee and Frank Dux have gone on to achieve much mainstream fame, today the sport lacks a person that can knock those walls of sterotypes and criticisms down to let more people come in and appreciate the work of its fine athletes.

But as the sport becomes more popular, and as more and more take it up, don't expect this situation to last forever.

Why Arsenal Should Sell Francesc Fabregas

Matthew Maloney — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:50:50 -0400

The rumors never go away and neither will the interest from Spain's biggest clubs. It is now just not a question of if, but when Fabregas will end up playing in La Liga.

So why not cash in?

Recently Arsenal were outbid by Juventus in the race to Felipe Melo. Can Arsenal sustain any more failures in this crucial transfer market for them this summer? Here are some reasons why I think l'Arsenal should sell Fabregas:

Selling Fabregas would guarantee around €30-40m to spend on other players. Usmanov's latest plan to inject some of his own money into the club has failed. Selling Fabregas would present the lesser of two evils in terms of generating finances for many Gunners.
Fabregas just isn't the player everybody thinks he is or at least isn't allowed to be that player by opposing teams anymore. People have caught on to him and he is no longer seen as a kid anymore. Of course it also doesn't help that Arsene persists in playing him as a support striker or trequirista, meaning he can be crowded out at times. Why? I. Do. Not. Know. Cesc himself has said numerous times he feels more natural in an Alonso/Pirlo like role in front of the back 4. Even so, in my opinion it's clear Arsenal's title hopes simply don't hinge on his individual performances such as Gerrard's at Liverpool or Lampard's at Chelsea.
Arsenal need a new captain. Probably Arsenal's biggest mistake after putting the armband on William 'Weepy' Gallas was to give it to the shy and unassuming Fabregas in 2008. Fabregas is just too much of a nice guy and seems like somebody who would collect manga as opposed to somebody you'd go to war with. Does the 22-year-old Barcelona youth product Fabregas really distill all the values and ethos of Arsenal football club into his fellow teammates during his team speeches or team bonding sessions? His English is passable, at best! Any other big club and that scenario above would sound like a Little Britain scene.
Arsenal need to get the media off their backs. How destabilizing and annoying has it been for Wenger to have to constantly swat this issue away at press conferences for the last three years? How do junior players feel about their captain thinking about bailing out and running home? Ferguson was correct when he sold Ronaldo and Beckham. Often the media circus and annoyance factor of having everything centre on an individual over team preparations and events can become too much.
The player wants to leave but is only staying for Wenger. Reading between the lines, I think Fabregas feels indebted to Wenger for introducing him to the game and giving him his chance. People now take it for granted that Wenger favors youth. Back when Arsenal captain and legend Patrick Vieira left, replacing him with an 18-year-old was seen as an almighty gamble and a huge vote of confidence in the youngster. Perhaps, if Fabregas was rational like Pique or greedier like Reyes, I wouldn't be here writing this and he'd already be in Spain. The fact remains when Wenger was being linked with Madrid, Fabregas implied he would leave; showing he's feels nothing for the club itself.

Other thoughts: Since Fabregas has become a first team regular after Vieira's departure Arsenal have won nothing...Perhaps Marik Hamsik of Napoli or Andrei Arshavin in midfield would provide more of a direct penalty area threat...Arsenal: North London YMCA branch or football club?...No matter how hard Aragones and Del Bosque have tried Spain can't find a natural role for Fabregas in the international team...Peop Guardiola may leave when his contract is up at Barcelona which raises the question:

Anyone for Wenger (and Fabregas) at the Camp Nou? Me too.

The Great Khali: The Greatest Wrestler Of All Time

Matthew Maloney — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:41:21 -0400

Where were you fellow wrestling fan when The Great Khali first strode into your lives?

In front of the TV eating dinner with your moms, dads, uncles, grand-uncles, second cousins, nephews, sons, first cousin/wife? Was it while waving your pitchfork along with the other friendly yokels while watching Smackdown live at a truckstop?

Or, for the younger amongst us, was it at the cinema watching another critically accalimed Adam Sandler movie?

I know I will always remember where I was—in a hospital fighting for my life against what the doctors had told me was a terminal condition—terminal cancer.

For those long hard months as I lay there unable to speak, move and only with the use of my left eyelid for comunication I was beginning rapidly to lose hope. Days turned to nights, light turned to darkness and I could see nothing waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.

During this nadir, my only comfort was watching the rise of a wrestler I gradually came to know as "The Great Khali" to the top of the wrestling world in black and white on a small TV beside by bed every week.

The Great Khali was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Standing 7' and weighing 420 pounds, Khali was a giant amongst ordinary men. His strength was indescribable. His awesome "Vise Grip of the 7 Virgins" hold reduced other wrestlers to their knees and his "Bearhug of Brutally Boring Doom" allowed him to shake grown men around like rag dolls.

Khali was a technically accomplished wrestler in so many ways and his power was frightening. I have read somehwere that he has been given the title of Mr. India an unprecedented 37 times since birth which in a country with over 550 million men inhabiting it is an amazing feat.

But what impressed me the most was that inner strength, seen in his eyes.

Despite the sorcery of the evil wizard The Undertaker and the brutal size and weight disadvantage he had against the bully reigning champion Rey Mysterio Jr., Khali kept coming back and refused to give up. This reminded me of my own situation at the time where the odds always seemed against me.

His strength gave me my strength. And when The Great Khali finally lifted the Super Smackdown Coca-Cola Lite World Supership Heavyweight Title in July 2007 the doctors told me something that at the time they called a miracle—my cancer had disappeared overnight. The same night Khali had won a 120-man battle royal on Smackdown.

For me it was not a miracle, it was the Great Khali.

I have never felt anything for previous wrestlers, luminaries of the wrestling world or previous great champions like David Arquette or Vince Russo over the years. It was during my stay in hospital that the emotional impact and healing power of wrestling had been revealed to me and the symbol of this was Khali.

The Great Khali has become the most inspirational figure in wrestling ever for millions like me all over the world.

In his home country, India, he is afforded greater prestige than Gandhi, Krishna and Daisy the Cow—combined. In fact it is said amongst Indians that "he who walks the path of the Great Khali is great beyond his wildest dreams."

To this day I have walked the path of the Khali.

But who is Khali the man, not the demigod we are so aquainted with seeing in the ring crushing his opponents with his bare fingers? I travelled to his birthplace in India near the mountainous border with Tibet to find out more and speak with his father.

His father is not the father of a demigod you would suspect. Walking with a stick and haggardly looking it seems clear to me that that something was amiss.

Khali was an only child; becuase his mother had died giving birth to him.

Khali was a large baby. 5'5" and 240 pounds at birth. "When Khali was but a young child I remember turning around from my workbench [Khali's father is a carpenter] and seeing many dead snakes near his crib. I realized Khali had strangled with his bare hands, the snakes who are notorious in this region for attacking toddlers."

As we talked the sheer coldness of the region began to assert itself so that even my John Cena "say no to education" hoodie was no longer enough to stop me from shivering: "Khali always walked around bare-chested, he never feared the snow, the rain; mother nature really."

Mother nature indeed. Apparently on a hunting trip deep into the mountains both young Khali and father were suddenly stopped by "a bear."

Only it was much larger than a bear as my host is quick to recall: "This bear did not walk on its hands like an animal, it stood like you and me but it was huge, all white and it had a face, not quite bear but not quite human."

"I was scared but when I looked to Khali imploring him to step back he was mesmerized, I really think he saw something of himself in that creature that day, we never saw it again"

My suspicions had been raised. It now seemed fit to ask him something that had been bothering me before I left: "Are you Khali's real father?" To which he answered: "No, I am not, but I loved my wife all the same and when I realised she was pregnant after I had found her lying down, clothes tattered in those mountains one morning I had no choice but to accept this gift into my life."

And a gift it has also proven to me and millions of other wrestling fans around the world.

Today Khali's world title reign is seen as a landmark period in WWE history. For the first time in wrestling history a man with no passable ability to speak English has become world champion and at 7'1" and 420 pounds. Khali is seen as perhaps the strongest champion in WWE history. Even stronger than Superman was.

PPV buyrates, gate receipts and TV ratings have been on a steep decline since. Many are now calling for the Great Khali to reclaim the title he had been cheated out of by that non-charismatic walking block of wood, Batista.

But if they're is anything I have learned from him it is to be patient, as I was in my hospital bed and as he was during his rise to the top of the wrestling world.

With the introuction of the "Khali Kiss Cam," Khali finally succumbed to his many, many female admirers requests to let them show their affection towards him by kissing him in the ring. Each week they show how much he has meant to their lives in front of the world.

And I wait my turn, with patience.

You too can join the offical Great Khali Fan Club here where information, biographical notes, pictures, wallpapers and tour dates/promotional appearences can be found!!

The Lions' 2009: Reflections, Conclusions, and Player Ratings

Matthew Maloney — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 18:24:14 -0400

"They don't give the trophy to the winners for nothing, you know"

So said Lions captain Paul O'Connell post-match after a deserved but belated third test victory which finalised an overall 2-1 series defeat; now etched in the history books for all time.

The Sky interviewer had previously pointed out that the Lions had indeed managed to beat the World Champions on the try count 7-5 and on aggregate points total over the series.

But you don't get prizes for that.

And neither to you get prizes for playing the prettier rugby sadly.

As Shaun Edwards pointed out in a column for the Guardian after the first test, scrum-half Mike Philips had seen more of the ball than the entire South African backline combined and it is no stretch to claim the Lions secured the lions share of possession in not just one but all three tests.

It was indeed a bittersweet ending of the 2009 tour for the Lions. Pride restored but the cold hard reality of losing will be hovering over the team during the long flight home.

Not that it was for lack of effort.

The initial selection of the coaching staff, a returning Ian McGeechan after an humiliating 2005 Lions tour, along with his fellow Wasp Shaun Edwards and Wales' Warren Gatland was perhaps telling of the approach the Lions would take to the series.

Gone were the days of separate Lions teams, single rooming and a bloated number of coaching staff. Returning were the values and traditions of the Lions from tours past.

The initial squad selection was strong with perhaps even the 'world-class' fly-half, Ronan O'Gara meriting a place based on Johnny Wilkinson's and Danny Cipriani's acute lack of form/fitness. In the former's case over a period of years.

I guess we'll never know how Irish Grand Slammers Quinlan, Flannery, O'Leary, and a Wales favourite of mine Tom Shanklin would have done. Quinlan's gouging was merited and inexcusable-let's be clear about that. If you think Shalk Burger merited punishment for his horrendous actions then Quinlan deserved to sit out the tour, and he did.

Of all the initial withdrawls, I think Flannery was most missed. He would have easily started ahead of Mears, Rees, and Ford, and the amount of crooked throwing from the Lions various hookers at the lineout, an elementary error to put it plainly, was disappointing.

And so the tour started with a underwhelming performance against the Royal XV followed by a complete roasting of the Golden Lions.

The Free State Cheetahs were put down at the last minute by a Hook penalty while victory against the Sharks and another close call against Western province led up to the brutal physical encounter with the Southern Kings, who clearly were only too eager to soften up the Lions before test No. 1.

By the end of the pre-series games we had found out, apparently, three things:

-O' Driscoll and Roberts were undisputed starters along with O'Connell and our best chance of toppling the seemingly unbeatable Sprinboks.

-The Lions would suffer at the breakdown unless they sorted themselves out.

-We were 'safe' at scrum-time.

Only the first proved correct and British and Irish media and pundits alike got it horribly wrong on the scrum. As we were to find out with the first test.

Of all the tests the first is probably the one South African players will be showing to their grandchildren in years to come. For the first 60 minutes, the Boks were dominant in every nearly every facet of the game: maul, lineout, territory and most infamously, scrum.

They were the World Champions we'd come to know in their element, turning Lions into cubs in their wake.

The Beast had a standout performance come scrum-time. His direct opponent Phil Vickery could not cope and with Botha behind him and Aluyn Wyn Jones behind Vickery it was simply no contest in that area. It was the needless penalties conceded in this area that was to eventual be the difference between the two sides at the end of the game.

Overall, first impressions were clear for me. South Africa were more than willing to stick to a two dimensional set-piece orientated 10-man game and the Lions would have no other option but to use their superior backline and creativity seeing as kicking for touch and contesting the lineouts with Victor Matfield and Bakkies Botha around was a no-no.

Not just that but the sheer physicality and conditioning of the Boks was worrying to me as a Lions supporter.

These guys clearly weren't going to be pushed around. They may not be great passers and they may struggle against quick ball and good movement coming off the ruck but it brought home the point more than ever that if you want to succeed in a contact sport -you had better get good at contact!

This point was brought home, painfully in the second test as many walked off injured. As The Lions tour doctor, Dr. James Robson, a veteran of 5 tours put it quite plainly:

"I can only measure it anecdotally and subjectively from my view but I would have to say this has been the most physical tour, the most physical Test matches I have been involved in.”

But the second test was role reversal. Adam Jones drove the Beast upward at the scrum, turnovers were found aplenty for the Lions and Rob Kearney's catching and counter-attacking negated Steyn, Du Preez and Pienaars kicking. As a result the dominant pack was unable to exert dominance in the areas that it mattered. Shaw seen to the mauls.

With the Lions roaring two things happened that changed the face of the game and the series: Numerous injuries to key personnel like Jones and Jenkins (leading to uncontested scrums) and the likes of Bowe, O'Driscoll, Roberts.

And Ronan bleeding O'Gara who was culpably responsible for a 10-point swing and with that, the end of the series.

I'm not going to bleat on about O'Gara here but him at centre was just never going to work in a million years.

Full credit most go to Steyn, Pienaar himself had a bit of a shocker and Steyn's all round game and kicking was imperious coming off the bench and with his 45m penalty, the Lions lost in the end by three points; A tale of so close and yet so far away.

The third test was in a word: redemption. O'Gara was exiled totally from the 22 and the Lions gave a performance that fully merited a win. Shane Williams, Ugo Monye, Riki Flutey and Jamie Heaslip threw aside the various cobwebs of criticisms that had been made against them over the tour and put in world-class performances to the man.

Final thoughts

Ultimately my interest in rugby has peaked with the series. All the games were crackers. The second test is probably the best game I have ever seen and I really feel a lot more affinity with the Lions now, despite the series loss.

They've proven to be a wonderful tradition over their 100-year history and they still are in my opinion. They're unique to rugby as a sport and thus, for me make it special.

People that say the Lions belong to a bygone amateur era have been made to eat their words in my opinion. Both teams took the games seriously, coverage and general interest was strong and most importantly the Lions we're competitive; not the ragtag scrabbled together team some would have you believe.

Overall I'm proud of the Lions.

[Please read on for my Lions player ratings.]

Note: Obviously I'm not going to rate 40-odd players, so only the major appearance makers on the tour will be highlighted. Ratings out of 10.

Lee Mears-4.5: Went AWOL in the first test, disappointing throwing. Didn't help at the scrum. Rightly dropped.

Matthew Rees-6: Nothing to write home about. Like the rest of the hookers probably lucky Flannery was forced to withdraw to get test appearances under the belt.

Gethin Jenkins-6: Decent performances. Overshadowed by the Boks pack as most packs are. Fractured his cheekbone in second test.

Paul O' Connell (c)-7.5: Hard to rate. Lineout was always going to be tough. Solid at the breakdown, decent ball carrying. Biggest gripe is that you never felt his performance/presence was crucial to a victory like his counterpart John Smit for the opposition.

Adam Jones-8: His introduction almost single-handedly ended the Boks scrum dominance. His withdrawal due to injury during the second test led to uncontested scrums. Habana's admittedly individually amazing try was the result. He was really important to the Lions in this regard. Written off years ago, now loks a world class prop and scrummager.

Simon Shaw-9: Made his first ever Lions test appearance despite this being his third tour! Showed what a true Lion he was and what the shirt meant to him. Great countermauling, huge hands, great breakdown work at the ruck. Should of been first choice from the outset too as his scrummaging, like Jones helped the team immensely.

Brian O'Driscoll-8.5: Helped create tries for Croft first test and later Kearney in the second test before being forced off. Would have been a dream season for the Ireland captain had the Lions won. Unplayable at times. Not afraid to get stuck in (ask Matfield) and passing was just delicious at times.

Jamie Roberts-9: Has become a world class centre now. Excellent work with the above, they almost seemed like brothers at times. He always guaranteed more than a few yards with his running/carrying. Kept the Boks on their toes constantly.

Andrew Sheridan-7.5: Kept his discipline, scrummaged well and was willing to carry. Bonus points for his 'hey, you talkin to me?' look. Hilarious stuff.

Phil Vickery-6: Had a good pre-series tour to be fair and didn't look like he would be the disaster at the scrum he eventually was. Alot of questions raised for the England captain on this tour. Good mental strength to come back from being dropped.

Aluyn Wyn Jones-4: Found out. Couldn't compete with the bok pack. Lost the ball numerous times when carrying. Anonymous for most of the proceedings. Looked terrified at times.

Tom Croft-8: Worked hard for a few turnovers. Scored two tries on his Lons debut. Can't ask for more. Many were surprised he wasn't in the original party. I can see why.

David Wallace-6: I was a bit disappointed with Wallace. He played very well in the pre-test tour matches but went mostly AWOL during the tests. Failed to help out at the rucks.

Jamie Heaslip-7: Another personal disappointment. For me a world class No. 8 but he took so long to show it. He's a fantastic carrier and passer as shown for Williams's first try today. Amazing balance for a big man. Didn't do anything particularly wrong either though.

Shane Williams-7.5: Wasn't even going to rate the IRB world player 2008 until his performance today. This was the real Shane Williams. Two tries, good carrying and great passing. Found form too late you might say.

Mike Philips-9.5: My personal Lions MVP. Great scrum-half. Willing to carry, line break and help out at the rucks. Scored a try. Also played at centre and acquitted himself well there too. Good tackling. Bettered Du Preez, which is saying something. World Class but needs to perfect his kicking maybe.

Stephen Jones-9: I really liked Jones performances. Very dependable kicking. Memorable kick to tie second test 25-25. Good tackling, passing and running. Only blemish was slicing some of his easier looking kicks to touch.

Tommy Bowe-7: Disappointed overall. Had an outstanding pre-series. Scored numerous tries and then did hardly anything in the test matches. Played at centre and was decent. Didn't proove that he's the world class wing we know of in the 6 nations. Just not to be on this tour.

Ugo Monye-7.5: Really messed up two great finishing opportunities in the first test. His kicking is ok, tackling reasonable and carrying ok. Nice intercept try but you feel he needs others to create space for him as he himself runs 'too straight' for a winger if you get me.

Rob Kearney-9.5: Outstanding. Probably the sweetest catcher of the ball out there. Great balance and agility to evade directly after catches, too. Powerful boot always handy against a strong pack. I really think Kearney could be the best in the world in his position in years to come.

Luke Fitzgerald-6: Playing Bowe at center ahead of him was a massive vote of no confidence in the Leinster man. In truth did nothing to warrant a place in the 2nd test team against the Emerging Boks or in the pre-series. Just not quite up to speed but still one for the future you feel.

Ronan O'Gara-2: Dependable kicking but otherwise a disgrace to the Lions shirt. Still can't believe he warranted a test-22 place. His performances against the Emerging Boks and Southern Kings were woeful. Can't tackle, can't carry, can hardly pass, slow, gives away possession. Might aswell have been playing for the Boks. Just brutal.

Football Memories: Real Madrid V Manchester United 2003

Matthew Maloney — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:07:25 -0400

This was my favourite game of all time and in my opinion, the tie of the decade.

It was a clash between the two biggest, richest and most famous clubs in world football. The English champions against the Spanish champions of 2003. It was the tie where the two clearly most dominant and popular teams in England and Spain were to finally meet in a now classic two-legged affair.

The hype beforehand was unprecedented and was more than lived up to.

This was a clash for the ages for many; Spanish newspapers bluntly declared this was the best game in the world we could possibly see.

Meanwhile, aside from the usual English media's concern over Beckham and in particular his deteriorating relationship with Alex Ferguson at the time, there were murmers that Real Madrid were interested in signing the England captain.

It was basically the two biggest names in world football playing for glory and the world's hearts.

People forget how Real Madrid truly were the 'Harlem Globetrotters' of football at the time. Before billionaires were able to turn average clubs like Man City and Chelsea into clubs capable of signing the world's best talent, only few clubs which had built themselves from the ground up with decades of history, tradition and success behind them could claim the biggest names in football.

Real Madrid and Manchester United were two such teams. But Real Madrid like now, were at another level to most clubs.

It was Del Bosque's Galacticos facing Alex Ferguson's Second Great Team. The two biggest names in world football in the Champions League quarter-final and a tie that gave us 11 goals and a hundred more memories.

The number of world class talent on the pitch (and the respective benches) at the same time was arguably, up until then, unseen. As a 15 year old at the time, I thought my head was going to explode just looking at the teamsheets and fantasising in the days leading up to the games about the talent, skill and flair I would witness.

Real Madrid had eventual legendary Brazilian world cup record goalscorer Ronaldo leading the line having joined from Inter the previous summer after an outstanding World Cup in 2002-continuing their World Player of the year summer signing arrangement.

The Galactico likes of then world record transfer Zidane, Portugal captain and pinup Luis Figo, the mercurial Roberto Carlos and club icon Raul were a sight to behold in full flow. Spain captain and Madrid skipper Fernando Hierro led the team out onto the pitch in both legs. As a defender he wasn't a bad footballer either while arguably the best defensive midfielder of all time, Makelele, gave the team suprisingly good balance.

On the Manchester United team sheet we had controversial club captain and legend Roy Keane (my personal hero at the time), possibly the most famous footballer ever David Beckham, Argentinian captain Juan Sebastian Veron, Ruud Van Nistelrooy (one of the great strikers of all time) Wales legend and the now most successful man in English football ever Ryan Giggs, and the still world record defender Rio Ferdinand; which further added glamour to the proceedings.

Both sides oozed class.

The first match was officiated by the controversially retired Anders Frisk and the second leg at Old Trafford by probably the greatest referee of the last decade, Pierlugi Collina. Quite simply, everything was in place for a cracking contest—World Class players, managers, stadia and referees.

And the matches themselves were breathtaking.

How it Played Out

From the onset, it was clear both teams were advocates of an attacking football policy in keeping with their tradition, popularity and class.

But it was Manchester United who found out for the first time in a long time what it was like to be outclassed purely on football terms during long portions of the first leg. Twenty-five year old Raul was lethal in front of goal, bagging a brace.

Alex Ferguson's answer to Real's creativity in midfield was to field both Butt (whom Pele famously called the player of the 2002 world cup) and Roy Keane as holding midfielders.

Figo chipped over Barthez (...oh how we laughed at Barthez over the yers) in a moment of sheer audacity. Wes Brown had a panic attack seeing Ronaldo come at him, full speed, in his prime. A penalty could easily have made the second tie redundant.

Van Nistelrooy who went on to attain a club record of 44/52 matches that season kept United in the tie but in truth it was Paul Scholes and the substitution of Mikael Silvestre for John O'Shea that kept United in the tie. You have to believe me when I say O'Shea was a world-class attacking left-back in his debut season and so he proved over both legs, memorably (for me as an Irishman) nutmegging Figo.

Scholes, typical of the temper of the man, was to mss the all important second leg through suspension.

The first leg was brilliant. The second leg reinvented the wheel. It is said Roman Abramovich watched this match and made up his mind to ruin football by buying a football club having been so impressed.

The match had everything.

Ronaldo put in arguably one of his defining performances scoring a hat trick at Old Trafford. He left to a standing ovation from the home crowd. David Beckham was dropped for Solskjaer who played a blinder himself and was unfortunate not to be on the scoresheet.

By halftime I distinctly remember the late George Best looking crushed in studio. United now needed three goals to go through and provided Ronaldo, Zidane and co. couldn't fashion another goalscoring opportunity-which barring a sudden bout of typhus in the away dressing room didn't seem likely.

But United, in a testament to the never-say-die attitude of that team (which helped them somehow claw back Arsenal in the PL race that year), kept going. David Beckham's cameo off the bench was in my opinion the best I've seen him play since and it was all in anger at his manager too.

Everytime Madrid threatened to pull away United replied with a goal and in Helguera's, case an own goal. It was end to end stuff as Ronaldo's opener had forced Fergie to throw the kitchen sink at Madrid.

With United's fourth goal, Madrid were on the ropes having also taken off Ronaldo and the strangely impressive ex-Liverpool favourite Steve McManaman for Solari and Portillo.

Unfortunately, as a United supporter at the time (Roy Keane's, best Irish player of his generation-go figure) it was not to be. Madrid progressed but the 180 minutes we had witnessed were a gift from the gods.

What hapened next

Madrid were to be knocked out by Juventus in the semis, suffering a 3-1 thrashing in Turin in the second leg. Ironically Juventus themselves had been soundly beaten home and away by United in the second group stage.

The signing of David Beckham that summer was to prove the Galactico that broke the donkey's back at the Bernebau. The firing of Del Bosque, exiling of Hierro and and sale of Makelele to Chelsea were to proove disastrous and in hindisght just as crazy as it sounded at the time.

Further, Carlos Quieroz, United's assistant manager was hired as Real Madrid coach (cynics said he was hired as Beckham's translator) and a painful decline started from the pinnacle of world football circles which ended with the ignomonius departure of the galacticos policy mastermind himself, Florentino Perez three years later.

Alex Ferguson was to eventually go on to replace Beckham with Christiano Ronaldo, a little known teenager from Sporting Lisbon. Veron was to be sold to Chelsea that same summer. He never did find the form again that made him one of the world's most coveted players at Lazio . Barthez was to never play again for United after the second leg. He soon left for Marseille finding success there. Solskjaer was to become massively injury prone as he finally became a first team regular. Except he wasn't a regular because he was always injury prone which led sadly to his retirement.

United like Madrid were to suffer themselves for three years as part of the transition period to Ferguson's third great team. But whereas United did pick up the odd trophy in the meantime, Madrid were to enter an embarrassingly barren run in terms of trophies.

But perhaps the team that benefited most from Madrid's decline was neither Juventus or United but Milan, who were to dominate European football in the mid-noughties under Ancelotti. Starting with the same 2003 CL title both United and Madrid had failed to win.

2009 Confederations Cup: What I Learned (Just Say 'No' To Vuvuzelas Kids)

Matthew Maloney — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:00:10 -0400

The 2009 edition of the Confederations Cup was certainly memorable in the truest sense of the word. The upsets, surprise performances and different styles of play brought to the competition from all corners of the world made the the Cup a football fiesta fit to whet the appetite before the upcoming World Cup.

The important thing to also note is that the tournament wasn't treated like a glorified friendly fest while the calibre of teams involved; like Brazil, Spain and uh, Italy, lent to its prestige.

And before I get called up on this yes Italy, supposed reigning world champions, did indeed take part in the tournament, even claiming a win against those mighty giants of world soccer, the USA; believe it or not.

All in all the Confederations Cup has proven a pretty darn good idea by FIFA over the years.

So what can we take from the 2009 season finale and what kind of World Cup can we expect in South Africa in 2010?

First off, top marks to the stadia and supporters in general. The 2006 WC was a little sterile for my liking but the mostly African supporters dancing, clapping hands and smiling was refreshing in comparsion to the stereotypical sunglasses and scarves brigade (Spain), Japanese tourist (Old Trafford) and empty seat (Serie A) we're used to seeing in European football.

The stadia all looked grand, clean and things like flares and pig's heads were thankfully absent from the games so big ups to the security aspect too.

I guess the only whinge point about the South African hosts were those damned vuvuzelas (which *amazingly* were absent for the South African games). That interminable drone of the work of a Chinese factory child really reminds me of Eastern European football circa 1973. I mean, do they even qualify as a musical instruments?

If they count, nunchucks should count.

As for the football some of the games in particular the Eqypt-Brazil, Spain-USA and Brazil-Italy games were very memorable. Who would've guessed world football outside of Europe and South America was at such a competitive standard? (crappy 'oh no!, anything but the half way line' Iraq aside)

Spain seem to have self-imploded as the smug levels in the team reached critical mass. Eygpt did what all good underdogs usually do and shot themselves in the foot against even bigger underdogs like the USA when only a draw was needed.

And don't Brazil play more like Germany than Brazil nowadays? But who's complaining—Dunga has won 2 trophies already.

As for the USA, well this was really the USA's tournament wasn't it? (Not that anyone cared in the USA)

So Brazil have officially taken the lead from France as the most times Confederation Cup winners and in the process confirmed they it will take some doing to eliminate them next year.

Spain meanwhile have a serious problem, they have no decent right wingers and can't find a way to get Cesc Fabregas into the team without making it worse. They desperatley missed a dribbler in midfield like Iniesta for this tournament.

Other thoughts

Was this a just flash in the pan for the USA? Is African football finally coming good? Are Spain too 'Arsenal like' against defensive teams (right to left, left to right, when will somebody shoot?—nobody knows).

One things for sure, the Confed Cup has made me look forward even more to next summers events.

Ronan O'Gara: What We're They Thinking, WHAT?!

Matthew Maloney — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 11:34:31 -0400

At half time James Hook gave an interview to Sky Sports. Today was his birthday. He wasn't even named in the matchday 22. Ronan 'O' Gara was. What we're they thinking?

I've already pointed out O'Garas unforgivable deficiencies here, but to even put O'Gara on the bench is something verging on a deathwish against such an accomplished physical side like the World Champions.

With 20 minutes left in the game O'Gara, the Newbridge Cutlery model, comes on and within minutes is found out as usual as a headless 2 dimensional chicken who predictably kicked everything he got.

For South Africa's 3rd try, O'Gara once again put in a hopless tackle letting his opponent gain the valuable yardage that ultimately proved so crucial to the TV officials decision to eventually award the try after numerous screenings.

Fast-forward towards the last moments of the game as O'Gara, predictably, kicks the ball into high heaven and gives away a penalty. Much like Ireland's last grand slam match against Wales where O'Gara's ridiculous decision to cede possession was nearly punished with the last kick.

This time we were punished for his stupidity.

O'Gara is on the verge of being dropped in the Ireland team for young Jonathan Sexton. O'Gara was dropped for Stephen Jones in the Lions team. How long will Munster tolerate such a glaringly obtuse player who depends on the valour of those around him to shine?

Ronan O'Gara is quickly becoming rugby's answer to David Beckham. Nobody can provide a convincing argument why he's constantly thrown into the limelight, especially at people like Hook's expense.

I can't put into words my horror at finding out O'Gara was on the bench and the decision was punished, cruelly. The Lions must now wait 12 years as the South Africans had done to avenge themselves. Chances are, thankfully, O'Gara won't be in that squad.

Corruption: A Football Story - Coming To a Club Near You!

Matthew Maloney — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 18:19:41 -0400

We've seen the trailers, heard the reviews and greedily bought the merchandise. Now as we prepare to take our seats for the 2009-10 season screening, new bad guys have emerged in the wild west of football ready to get their butts kicked by our heroes.

Or will they?

The bad guys in football have been around for as long as the Italians took up the sport. But over the past few years new bad guys have become more prominent. And they're coming to a club near you.

One of these new threats to football is the 'Dr. Evil'; the omnipotent (and bored)foreign billionaire with a nefarious background planning to take over the world - by buying your favourite club.

Dr. Evil is many people. Not all of them necessarily have cats called Mr. Tibbs and wear monocles. A good few wear keffiyehs nowadays though.

The Old School Dr. Evil

The Modern Dr. Evil

He might also be a Thai politician accused of torture and money laundering, a Russian oligarch that took part in rigged state auctions for his countries natural resources or an Arab sheikh who likes to secretly videotape (or not so secretly anymore) himself running over people in a humvee. Heck he could even be your boss.

But the one thing they all have in common is that they are loaded, and for many clubs struggling to keep up with players ballooning wages that's really all the qualification they'll ever need to own a club.

But surely evil money men from third world countries can't dictate what happens in our beautiful game, right?!

Another new bad guy we'll be seeing more of in football is 'the fixer'.

Mobile phone beside face at all times. Simply a must for any aspiring 'fixer'.

Numerous mobile phones with hundreds of sim cards-check, sophisticated player registration holding company operation-check, looks eligible for a role in a godfather sequel-check.

Luciano Moggi of Juventus fame probably personifies this type of football supervillain. One whose intricate network of contacts which ranged from the FA president all the way to television presenters all existed to serve their devious master sycophantically.

Just a lucky guy. No, really.

How many more people out there are 'lucky' in the Moggi/suspicious betting pattern sense? Is match fixing still a big thing? Looking at the reports emanating from Poland, Germany, Portugal and Spain last year (not to mention numerous third world leagues) you would have to say supervillains like Moggi much like his fictional comic book counterparts Lex Luther (Superman) and The Leader (Incredible Hulk) don't exactly need to be super intelligent to pull it off.

In fact all you usually need are distinctly not-intelligent authorities to pull it all off (of which there are many) and men who have a weakness for brown envelopes.

As for the much maligned football agents and their often odd player registration arrangements, kickback agreements from player negotiations and transfers etc. We live in an world where an agent like Pini Zahivi is making as much money as Sir Alex Ferguson from football. Think about that. Crazy huh?

Chances are the average football fan doesn't even know who he is.

Also, while we're talking about modern day agents, can someone tell Kia Joorabchian that the concept of owning somebody hasn't been in fashion since the 19th century?

Not a slave.

And then we come the to 'the politician'. A man who simply must, really has to interfere with the game. In the national interest of course.

Make no mistake, football is a political game. Any number of riot incidents over the years can tell you that. So political interference is possible, right?

Definitely. South Korea 2002, Franco's Real Madrid of yesteryear, Eastern European communist party sponsored clubs, The Argentinian junta's 1978 World Cup...and whisper it now, England's only World Cup win in 1966 are all famous examples of when what happens on the pitch becomes a realisation of decisions made long before kickoff.

General Franco: You'd think he was a facist dictator wouldn't you?; really just a Real Madrid fan.

Recently, there were alot of people calling 'shenenigans' after Tom Ovrebo and UEFA apparently dumped Chelsea out of last season's CL, possibly due to the political unlikeability of having the exact same 2 English teams in the final once again. This conspiracy theory certainly has its merits but I'm not quite convinced on this particular case.

And then finally on to the dopers. Those brave athlethes who like Jimmy Vulmer from South Park succumbed to the temptation to have that 'extra edge' chemically. I remember reading an article in Four-Four-Two magazine some years ago arguing a pro footballer in the Premiership could conceivably play 32 years straight without being tested once.

Maldini couldn't even play that long.

When you factor in how drugs have become such a big issue in athletics, cycling, baseball etc. it makes you wonder how professional football has been miraculously clean all these years. Especially considering the amount of money involved in the modern game.

Of course the drug testing situation has changed since then (as poor Rio Ferdinand would tell you) but throw in designer drugs, the undetectable HGH and the possibility that a club could conceivably spike another team ('food poisoning'-last day of 05-06 season-Tottenham-CL place up for grabs...my spider sense is tingling) and the issue is far from a closed book.

To their credit FIFA, UEFA and the football associations are trying to tackle the new 'bad guys', not in a kick-ass Chuck Norris way ("There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a roundhouse kick to the face. In fact there are none"-Chuck Norris) but in their usually bureaucratic and frustratingly piecemeal kinda way.

Last year Boavista and Porto were punished for match fixing and Calciopoli made the headlines just as much for the meaty punishments handed out as for the acts themselves. Fortunately for the sponsors sake Porto and Milan were allowed to play in the CL the very next season.

Both went on to win the CL the same year their match fixing episodes took place. Prooving once again the bad guys always get the trophies.

On the agent front, there is a slow realisation in football that players should actually pay their own agents to negotiate transfers and not clubs (they're a smart bunch aren't they) and UEFA has come down on private ownership of players as we witnessed with Tevez and Mascherano.

In England meanwhile the ramifications from Lord Steven's Inquiry are still ongoing and an anti-corruption unit headed by Rick Parry has been set up.

Drug testing has been ramped up too. Pressures from the World Anti-Doping Agency and developments in other sports have publiscised a growing problem in modern sport for which the failure to address it could mean the end of the game for everybody. (Cycling went the same way as bodybuilding a long time ago folks..)

As for the politics though I don't think that will ever leave the game (many would say this is a good thing, especially South Koreans).

As the 'FIFA family' continues to grow crazy people like Jack Warner from Trinidad & Tobago (FIFA VP, worlds most successful ticket tout) will become more involved, just hopefully for our sakes, only on the administrative side.

Yes next season and beyond's blockbusters will be a sight to behold with dangerous and powerful supervillains coming to the fore only this time I don't know if the good guys will win.

He may be football's last hope.

Bret Hart: The Hitman's Legacy

Matthew Maloney — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:25:06 -0400

Bret Hart's story is easily the greatest wrestling story ever told.

It is in essence an historical document of the business as told by one who has lived through and survived (barely) changes, events and even eras in the industry few foreseen before their occurrence and fewer still adapted too afterwards.

Obviously this was particularly true for his famous wrestler, trainer, promoter and father Stu Hart, an massive figure in wrestling history who was to struggle financially and personally as a new era of wrestling, masterminded by Vince McMahon spread across North America.

Its amazing to think how much Bret Hart has seen during his time in wrestling.

As a young man with his father, he was at the same table where all the heads of the old territories bickered and heckled over what to do in the face of young upstart Vince McMahon Jr's national expansion from his fathers New York territory.

Then followed his early role as a WWF jobber riding the crest of an unprecedented Hulkamania boom in 80s pro wrestling.

Canadian Stampede wrestling where Bret started out was to succumb to Vince McMahon, Bret Hart's new boss, along with all the other territories that dared stand against him one by one; leaving Bret and wrestling's future forever intertwined with Vince McMahon.

Bret witnessed the end of his father's world of pro wrestling while initially hanging on to the coattails of its WWF successor. Many, like his brother Bruce were left behind and forever embittered.

For Bret, shoot/carnival style wrestling finally died however the day Stu Hart died. Stampede and others were replaced first by cartoon wrestling (hence the title of his book) and later by a sleazy, non-sensical and ultimately personally unfulfilling style of wrestling product (personified by Vince Russo) that he himself never quite adapted to as part of WCW.

Finally the Monday Night Wars that Hart first had fought under the WWF flag and later the WCW flag and the subsequent demise of WCW was to be the final act in Bret's 24 year long career. Crash TV booking had reduced WCW to a rabble wrestling promotion by 2000 and just under a year later WWF bought out his former employers.

Hart himself admits WCW never used him properly so it is fair to say his work in WCW can safely be ignored when determining his legacy.

It was as part of the Hart foundation, Bret was finally able to establish himself as a tag-team with brother-in-law Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart under the extravagant manager Jimmy Hart (his namesake). Over the years the Foundation was to be a mainstay of the WWF tag division and this famous stable was to expand to including Bret's brother Owen, The British Bulldog and 'Flyin' Brian Pillman.

But Bret unfortunately also later had to bear the tragedies that happened to these men and others he grew close to during his time in wrestling. The 'grim reaper of wrestling' as Hart claims was never far away from wherever Hart went.

In between, Hart toured to wrestling hotspots like Japan, Germany and Britain and notspots like Puerto Rico, India and the Phillipines among other weird and interesting places. Hart is this regard is probably right in that he more than any other wrestler previously could rightfully claim to be the world's first true world champion as he had toured extensively worldwide and had got over in 5 different continents.

More than anything though these tours would build Hart a solid and intimate worldwide fanbase all over the world which few wrestlers have matched.

From an in ring point of analysis, Bret was like many other wrestlers trained in Stu's dungeon, technically adapt in actual wrestling ability ('excellence of execution') and inculculated with a strong sense of storytelling ability in the ring or 'ring psychology'.

Bret wasn't totally old school though. He later introduced the concept of the ladder match to the WWF, which, like in so many other things, he was to clash over with his arch-nemisis both in ring and out of ring, Shawn Michaels.

As a trainer, Bret Hart brought many of his 'crew' into the industry. Former UFC champion Ken Shamrock and the late Andrew 'Test' Martin among others all sparred with Bret during their formative years.

Hart's might be rememberd most though for his role as champion of the WWF during the mid-90s. After major steroid and sex scandals that had hit the WWF was at the point of no return (or so it seemed at the time) with its main family fanbase. The WWF needed to buy time to reinvent itself for a new audience, especially in the face of the growing threat of WCW.

During this sensitive time Hart was called upon to be the WWF's representative and spokesman as champion of the company. A role Bret did to the best of his abilities with professionalism and dignity unlike his real life feud opponent Shawn Michaels.

The in many ways inevitable Montreal Screwjob was to ironically ignite renewed ratings for the WWF in its rating war with WCW. Overnight Vince had become a real life bully and the fans flocked to see him pay for it Stone Cold style.

So in assessing Bret's legacy we should take into account the circumstances of his accomplishments aswell as their effects.

Is 4 of Triple H's world title reigns worth 1 of Bret Harts? Probably. Bret Hart had alot more competition back in his time (Randy Orton?, Dave 'Woody' Batista? You're kidding me) then the 'master of the WWE Universe' has today.

Whereas HHH, Hogan and Michaels etc. did their best to bury upcoming challengers while they were at the top, Hart and more progressive personalities like Macho Man, Harley Race and The Rock always tried to make their opponent look good in the ring so that their feuds could continue longer and therefore be better for business.

Was Bret Hart a money maker on the level of Hogan, Macho Man, Stone Cold, The Rock....or even John Cena?! Probably not, but again the circumstances of his time at the top have to be considered.

How many great matches can Bret claim to have had anyway?

Alot. From his early feuds with the Dynamite Kid, Curt Henning, and Steamboat to his memorable match with Bulldog at Wembley Sumerslam 1992 (back when the IC title a much more prestigious prize) all the way to his thrilling matches with Stone Cold and Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania in the mid-90s and his final great match with Chris Benoit in 1999 which was arguably WCW's only dignified moment in its final 3 years.

Finally who cares about Bret anyway?

As the media reaction in Canada especially and around the world will tell you, Bret still has alot of fans out there. Sure, they may be older now and likely don't watch TNA or PG-era WWE but they still remember the Hitman. His book was an international bestseller and not many get the recognition Bret does from the fans and marks alike unless there's a consensus about his legacy.

Also Bret was noted among wrestlers (judging by some of the other autobiographies I've read) for being one of the dressing room favourites and enjoyed healthy working and personal relationships with many of the greats of his day. Thus in 2005 after a recovering from a stroke, even Vince eventualy relented and invited Hart into the WWE Hall of Fame (despite being knocked out once by the guy!).

Likewise Hart is one of the youngest members of the old school George Tragos/Lou Thesz Wrestling Hall of Fame (which only inducts wrestlers with both amateur and professional backgrounds). One of the highest honours given by his peers.

Bret is one undoubtedly of the greats, not the greatest, but one of the greats whose legacy is somewhere in between that of the Kurt Angles, Mick Foleys, Randy Savages (and indeed Shawn Michaels) of this world and the Ric Flairs, Hulk Hogans and Stone Colds who were to definitively symbolise their eras.

Bret's legacy is especially hard to define because he was in his prime at a time when wrestling was at its lowest. So it may be simply his story is his greatest legacy.

This was a review of 'Bret Hart: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling'. If you had or have an interest in wrestling, if you are literate and if you aren't an inanimate object you should give this book a go. A real page turner and shocker in some places.

Ronan O Gara Is Being Found Out Again

Matthew Maloney — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 09:38:45 -0400

The only player to amass 1000 points in Heineken Cup history. Record points holder in the 6 nations. Ireland and Munster's highest ever points scorer. 2 Heineken cups, A Grand Slam, Magners League and Celtic Cup winner.

But is he really the best fly-half the northern hemisphere has to offer?, is he rightfully the favourite to start against South Africa?, and if he is, what does that say about the North's standard of fly-halves?

As an Ireland supporter, despite his Irish Sportsman of the Year award in 2004 I'm not sold one bit on Ronan O'Gara as even this country's current first choice fly-half.

The reasons are simple: There are too many glaring faults in his game.

Bad enough they be exposed in an Ireland shirt, worse again that they be exposed in a Lions Shirt.

I've said it before and I'll say it again -The man cannot tackle. Is that a cardboard cutout of O Gara being run over? After further replays and slow motion analysis it seems obvious that it is indeed the real O'Gara being steamrollered...This is an all to frequent occurrence in a typical Ronan O Gara performance.

Of course, all is forgiven if his kicks go over, right?

Wrong. A team is only as strong as its weakest link. And World Champions South Africa have too many options with which to attack the Lions to have a liability on the field like O'Gara running around like a delirious schoolgirl in heat.

O'Gara's other glaring fault is when he is in possession. Or should I say for the 2 seconds he is in possession before he throws the ball into outer space or kicks the ball into oblivion.

What is O'Gara trying to do sometimes? Pundits never really pick up on it. Maybe because O'Gara does it so often anyway theres no point flagging it anymore.

In football its called 'trying the Hollywood ball'. That is the ambition and scope of what is being attempted is fit only for a cinema screen-not a real live action professional rugby game against heavyweights like Leinster, France and the occasion of the upcoming tests against South Africa.

It would be nice if someone could tell O'Gara that the chances of a grubber or kick to the wing are fairly low even with the best of vision and intentions as the bounce of the ball is not very predictable in rugby owing to the nature of the ball.

This is a hundred times truer when, like yesterday with a 3 v 2 situation on the right wing against the Sharks there was just no need to kick. Aside from his decision making, this gives rise to the question whether O'Gara actually feels comfortable running with the ball.

If he is unwilling afraid to go into contact with the ball, as a profesional rugby player, representing the best the Britain and Ireland have to offer, this is hugely dissappointing. Not to mention, it also makes him very predictable to the opponent.

If O'Gara plays and gives away possession so recklessly against a team like the Springboks, people will finally know exactly how annoying I found it when he did it against New Zealand for Ireland. But it will be a test too late.

O'Gara has many things in his locker. He's very consistent in things he is good at. he has proven experience and has toured with the Lions before. He is certainly up there with the best fly-halves in Northern rugby but for the love of Pete, James Hook must start against South Africa.

Whether it should be O'Gara or Stephen Jones on standby, I leave you the reader to decide.

Top 10 Favorite Wrestling Themes

Matthew Maloney — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 13:39:33 -0400

Entrances and entrance music are a big part of wrestling. They help make wrestling larger than life for younger eyes and become signatures over time for older fans. From Shawn Michaels 'I'm just a sexy boy' to Undertaker's church bell tolling and the eerie organ music, music in wrestling helps us identify with the wrestler and what his character/gimmick represents. Not just that but some of the tunes are just purely addictive and enjoyable in their own right. Some of these you may never have heard before so I'm posting links to where you can hear them on Youtube. So in no particular order here are my favourite wrestling themes I've heard from over the years. Enjoy! P.S: I have a real gripe with Bleacher Report in that you can't embed videos into slideshows. Perhaps people have already raised this issue....keep raising it!

Begin Slideshow

What Will Happen to Manchester United When Sir Alex Retires?

Matthew Maloney — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 11:18:39 -0400

"Mountains will fall, cities will crumble, skeletal horsemen will ride chariots of fire across a bleeding moon...so it is said these things and more will come to pass when Sir Alex of the Fergusons leaves the Old Trafford dugout for the last time."—[Matthew: 4/6/09]

By the end of next season Sir Alex, the most successful manager in British football history, will be 68 and if the rumours are true, saying a heartfelt goodbye to the Old Trafford faithful who have been his sole audience in his almost quarter-century stay at the theatre of dreams.

We've all read the list of successors from top to bottom and quite frankly, all of them don't look close to filling in Alex Ferguson's shoes at Old Trafford.

Mark Hughes is Manchester City manager, a disqualification from the running on its own merits to many Manchester United supporters. He doesn't seem capable of handling prima donna superstars like Robinho; he would surely bomb with Christiano Ronaldo, et al.

Steve Bruce has just taken over at Sunderland as he continues to build his solid reputation as nothing more than a fireman (but a damn good fireman).

Previously, Roy Keane did his reputation a world of harm towards the end of his reign of, if the stories are to be believed, terror, at Sunderland.

Bryan Robson? Paul Ince? Carlos Quieroz? Steve McClaren? Brian Kidd?!....not in a million years. Even old rival Jose Mourinho has extended his contract with Inter.

As it stands, Ferguson is quite simply, irreplaceable.

This question arose when Sir Alex previously announced his retirement in the 2001-02 season. The main candidate in the running was then-Roma coach Fabio Cappello.

But it is rumoured Cappello will retire after England is knocked out of the next World Cup on penalties.

Of course history tells us Ferguson stayed on after that announcement in 2002 to win another CL and yet more PL crowns to add to his peerless trophy cabinet.

The man is a pure, unadulterated winner. Will the next manager have the level of respect and freedom of control currently afforded by the Glazers?

For the Glazers, this could be the chance they've been waiting for to strip the club he built to its bare bones, as the titanic debt saddled during good times becomes too much to bear in the coming bad times.

This is to say nothing of the players, of course. Players like Giggs, Neville and Scholes, coming towards the end of their careers, will surely follow their master out the exit door.

Other players who owe their fortunes to Ferguson, the likes of O'Shea, Fletcher, Van Der Sar, Brown, Nani, Carrick, and certainly perma-crocked Hargreaves might not be to the liking of the next manager.

The beauty of Sir Alex was that he made sure the players in his squad complemented each other, even if they weren't world beaters individually.

Coaches like Mike Phelan and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer may leave when the current regime ends. Ferguson's famed scouting and youth system may well wither on the vine. The network of footballing contacts that Ferguson took 20 years to build will lay idle.

Yes, it seems Ferguson is the last hurrah of the old archetype of the British manager in the increasingly global roulette wheel that football has become.

He is a final link to an era where the likes of Jock Stein, Bob Paisley, and indeed his predecessor, Matt Busby, joined their fates with the club they managed.

Today managers are liable to be called employees by the new breed of owners.

But fear not, I personally am willing to bet we'll see Ferguson once again on our screens going purple, pointing at his watch, chewing his gum even after he leaves Old Trafford.

Either in a Great Britain Olympics 2012 tracksuit, or would you believe, on the Scotland bench again.

Saying Arrivederci To Serie A's Greats

Matthew Maloney — Sun, 31 May 2009 12:23:59 -0400

Today, on the last weekend of the Serie A calender of 2009, and on the last occasion 3 greats walked onto the pitch as a professional footballers, we finally came to that day we knew would eventually have to come.

Now, I'm not Serie A's biggest fan by any means, particularly since the Calciopoli affair, but I am not ignorant to the point that I will not pay homage to the greats of the modern era who played their last games today, in what was once the greatest league in world football.

They are namely: Luis Figo(Inter), Pavel Nedved(Juventus), and of course, literally the grandaddy of them all, Paolo Maldini(Milan).

Where to begin?

In Figo's case, you could easily argue he made his name before his wildly successful stint with Inter. (which involved four Scudetti, three Supercoppas, one Coppa Italia) Nonetheless Figo, although usually having more of a squad role than the case with his previous clubs, has contributed to Inter's domestic success over the past few seasons.

As a former World player of the year(2001), Ballon D'Or winner(2000), Galactico and Portuguese Icon (now succeeded by Ronaldo in this role), he will be remembered as a great of the game, but probably more so for his exploits with Real Madrid and Barcelona than in Serie A.

Pavel Nedved is on the other hand made his name completely in Serie A. After backing out on an agreement to join PSV to join Lazio. Nedved would go on to become one of the world's top players during the late '90s and early noughties.

His prime was arguably reached in 2003 where Juventus made it to the CL final and won Serie A (1 of 3 Serie A medals for Nedved). He also won the Ballon D'Or that season and both the overall and foreign Serie A player of the year awards.

Likewise for the national team, Nedved had captained his country to their most successful stint since the fall of the Iron Curtain reaching the Euro 2004 semis and generally being considered the perennial dark horse of the European international scene.

Juventus fans will be forever in debt to him. When the chips were down, Nedved was one of the few foreign imports that chose to stay and play in Serie B after Calciopoli. Another true great of the modern European game.

But the man most around the world have been paying homage to is, quite simply, a legend; in this authors opinion the greatest defender of all time and easily one of the greatest players of all time, Paolo Maldini.

Many footballers are unable to emulate or better the achievements of their fathers, but Cesare Maldini has been well and truly surpassed by his son Paolo. (Anyone know what Jordi Cruyff has been up to recently?)

126 Italian caps, 902 club appearances, seven Serie A's, and an incredible five European Cups. His career reads like a dream for any Italian boy aspiring to become a professional footballer and rightly so.

He is the footballers footballer.

Its incredible to think the Maldini involved in that, now era defining, drubbing of Barcelona by Milan in 1994, was the same Maldini that lifted the European cup in 2007 having vanquished Liverpool.

Like Giggs at Manchester United, he has been a constant, where teams, players, and football in general have changed around them. Being part of one great team is a dream come true for most footballers, but being a part of more than one grat team is phenomenal.

It will be truly odd watching Milan take on Europe next season with their unrivalled captain to lead them but although he will not be their physically on the pitch for his former teammates and fans, he has left a legacy at Milan that nobody will ever replace.

For Italy he reached the final of the 1994 World Cup where The Divine Ponytail was to famously blaze over the bar ending Italy's dream against their historic rivals Brazil on penalties. He came closest to winning an international trophy at Euro 2000 where 2 late goals ended a tightly contested final.

Although he retired in 2002 (after controversial refereeing decisions) in that years World Cup there are rumours of the record cap holder and record cap holder as Italy's captain to return for one final match.

Whether this happens or not the number 3 shirt at Milan will be retired in honour of Italy's finest ever player.

So where next for Serie A?

Cannavaro, Del Piero, Totti, and Inzaghi will undoubtedly follow, saying arrivederci within a season or two, but at the moment there is clearly a dearth of homegrown talent willing to step up to the plate and take their place.

Maldini's retirement along with Figo's and Nedved's may be the end of an era for Serie A. A symbolic closing to a time when the giants of Serie A bossed European football and were able to attract the best and brightest talent to its shores.

Finally, I just want to give my thanks to the players mentioned for the many footballing memories they gave me. They will be remembered fondly by supporters all over the world.

The Decline of Pro-Wrestling: 2001 - ?

Matthew Maloney — Fri, 29 May 2009 11:30:45 -0400

Almost a decade to the day a spotty, but animated version of myself was sitting outside on a wall with similarly enthusiastic pro wrestling fans talking about what would be the ultimate WCW vs. WWF supercard.

Sting vs. The Rock, Goldberg vs. Stone Cold, Undertaker vs. Kevin Nash, Mankind vs. Macho Man...that's how we spent that summer of 1999, talking about wrestling, looking forward to wrestling and just plain worshipping wrestling. We had the sticker albums, the magazines and the toy figures to go with it.

We were the bomb.

Then dark clouds appeared on the WCW horizon. Being a 13-year-old kid, I didn't know who Vince Russo was...Things started not to make sense anymore to my fragile mind.

Who are 'the powers that be'? Why is David Arquette world champion? Why is a cab driver with a baseball holding the world title? Why is Jeff Jarett, a man beaten by a woman with gender issues, champion of WCW?

Why are Russo and Hogan arguing in the ring and totally breaking kayfabe? The list went on and I found myself turning to or just preferring the WWF more and more.

By the time Shane McMahon announced he was the owner of WCW I had completely lost interest in WCW. The Monday Night Wars were clearly over, but they ended a long time ago for me.

But wrestling was still exciting to watch every week. The Stephanie-HHH-Kurt Angle love triangle was brilliant. There was Cactus Jack's continuous attempts to get the world title or die trying. The Rock and Chris Jericho in slagging matches. Some memories!

It all culminated in Wrestlemania 17, the perfect card not just because the matches were by and large excellent, but because the storylines and characters were built so well leading up to the event. I cared about every single one of the results on the card (I was delighted to see my favourite wrestler at the time, Kane, win the Hardcore title)

Then the invasion. It couldn't get much better than this I thought. Finally, the supercard dream was going to come through. YESS! I thought my head was going to explode when ECW jumped into the mix. This was what a decade of wrestling history had been leading up to...but it totally sucked. They blew it, really really big time.

DDP was a stalker who wanted some of Taker's wife even though his own girl was a Playboy model. Booker T was a chump who kept staring into his own hand. Buff Bagwell...the less said the better.

Then Stone Cold became leader of the alliance cue great comedy moments with Angle, but an effective end to the alliance as an onscreen threat.

Wrestling never recovered.

I think I stopped watching wrestling regularly about the time Lesnar beat Angle at Wrestlemania. It was a great match and from what I've seen most of the Wrestlemania's since 17 have been excellent. The problem is that the weekly offerings are just complete utter horsesh*t nowadays to use some French.

Not even being nostalgic for the good old days of patient buildup but its like Vince Russo is everywhere nowadays. Everything is 'crash TV' as they call it. Total trailer park thrash/5-year-old kid fare that just insults a man's dignity and intelligence.

It might be true that Americans are getting stupider, but don't contribute to it for god's sakes!!

Fake crowd noise, greater prominence of life sized barbie dolls/time spent on female characters on TV. If I want porn I'll find porn, if I want sappy soap opera I'll watch Home & Away...Why do they now think everyone that watches wrestling is each others cousin?

Didn't they realize wrestling was getting over in the mainstream when they came calling for the Rock in Hollywood? It was because they treated themselves and the product seriously.

In my experience no kid wants to watch a show that tells them they're a kid. The beauty of wrestling as I remember it was that it treated me like an adult with adult stories which had realistic characters and motives. Not caricatures and mopeds.

Isn't trailer park thrash among the poorest target markets in America, why aim for that? It makes no sense even from this young business graduate's point of view. Surely Vince McMahon, the best promoter of his generation can see that.

The storylines are something. Stephanie McMahon's reign as head writer in the WWE has been shocking. Feuds are left to drift into obscurity and everything has (absolutely must) have shock value. Gay weddings, Vince McMahons midget son...Even some of the storylines in supposedly straight scenarios between world champion and challenger became weird. (Katie Vick anyone?)

Of course it didn't help that many great wrestlers were eventually forced to retire like Foley, Stone Cold and the Rock or sadly in all too often a case, even die (see here for a detailed exploration of this worrying issue).

Another problem this brings up and is symbolised by (just watching the latest Wrestlemania on Youtube) is Triple H triumphantly lifting the world title as Randy Orton's carcass lies in the ring to stonewall silence.

Where are the new Rocks, the new Stone Colds, the new Stings of this brave new world?

Then we have the draft. Following the end of the alliance angle at Survivor Series 2002, it was clear that they had too much talent for one show so some genius proposed they do the American football thing and split the TV show up rather than get rid of the deadweight.

I'm not good at math but doesn't that halve the talent power of the TV shows? Later they brought back a weird Frankenstein version of ECW, WWE Heat in all but name. That third-ises talent power or turd-ises it for all you smart guys out there.

The amount of championships and titles is hilarious. From what I gather there are World and World Heavyweight champions. Triple H has won the 'world title' 14 times but how can anybody be a world champion if they wrestle only on half the total roster.Couldn't they call them the Raw and Smackdown titles?

The US, IC, Cruiserweight, World and WWE tag titles, Women's have all come and gone.

Then there's that Oscar/Emmy entertainment award like ceremony they call the 'Slammies'. As a great man once said 'You have GOT to be f*cking kidding me'.

One might argue that the WWE became a victim of its own success. After defeating its main compeitiors, the only way for the WWE was down with nobody around to keep them on their toes.

Its true TNA has been nothing but an unmitigated disappointment for many looking for an alternative (as Bleacher writer Suleyman proposes) while the Brand Split has created stagnation, not competition.

The situation can only get worse for wrestling fans.

WWE is fast running out of marquee matches to throw at the subscriber for Wrestlemania's. The stars of 10 years ago are fast running out and even those that have come out of retirement like Foley and Michaels are either looking like spent forces or are considering re-retiring.

The DVD sales of wrestling greats of the past can only keep the profit and loss statement looking green in the short run before even diehard fans get tired of looking back all the time.

The situation is very serious as many wrestlers are also having their heads turned to the world of MMA or acting becuase the day job has become so intellectually unchallenging, physically tiresome even embarrassing.

Some like Chyna and X-Pac have taken to amateur pornography....

Do kids want to become wrestlers anymore even? I know when I was young I kind of did. Any parent watching the stuff the WWE/TNA come out with nowadays is more likely to prefer their kid take up a career in porn. Its just embarrassing stuff to admit you like wrestling nowadays.

Something is broken in wrestling and I expect wrestling will haveto bottom out during this recession before it can build up again properly. The decline of wrestling ain't over by a longshot and if they can roll out Stone Cold in a wheelchair for one more match to paper over the cracks they will.

They will do anything not to change. As the Panda people will tell you.

Brian O'Driscoll: Like a Phoenix from the Ashes

Matthew Maloney — Thu, 28 May 2009 11:44:20 -0400

In 2005, when Brian O'Driscoll (BOD), Lions captain, was controversially spear tackled by the ferocious All Blacks double team of Tana Umaga and Keven Mealamu, his Lions campaign ended instantly with a dislocated shoulder.

The following infamous 'blackwash' rubbed salt in the wounds for the Lions skipper as the Lions received an embarrassing 3-0 series drubbing.

Brian O'Driscoll was left to contemplate life on the sidelines, an all too familiar story ever since, as BOD became increasingly injury prone.

That period was to proove a key turning point in his career of the, up until then, seemingly meteoric rise of BOD to the Valhalla of international rugby.

For his beloved Leinster, Declan Kidney was to unceremoniously fail and then leave for perennial rivals Munster that same season leaving Leinster to chance their arm on a then relatively unknown Michael Cheika.

It was then French rugby came calling to O'Driscoll as he faced a nadir in his professional career in the summer of 2006. And in the great what ifs of Irish rugby history he choose to stay and contribute to the Michael Cheika experiment, for better or worse.

The going was initially rough. Ulster and then the Ospreys were to clinch the Magners league title and O'Driscoll as captain of the Ireland team, would reach their own nadir in the Rugby World Cup in 2007, subsequent failure in the six nations in 2008 leading to the end of the up until then successful reign of Eddie O'Sullivan, the current USA rugby coach.

But then the first shoots from the ashes begun to spring up for BOD.

A Magners League title eventually would be claimed in 2008 but the real story of the rise of the phoenix was to take place during this season.

Relinquishing the Leinster captaincy to Leo Cullen, with a new coach yet old mentor in charge of Ireland in the form of Declan Kidney and with a well publiscised loss in weight, BOD would go on to have his most wildly successful season ever.

A historic Grand Slam followed where BOD would win player of the tournament scoring a try in every game bar the climatic finale in Cardiff.

For Leinster, although they effectively relinquished the Magners League in a loss to Munster in April (in which BOD missed out through injury), they would claim for the first time in their history the European Cup after defeating Leicester in memorable fashion.

The new BOD is a different animal. Defensively BOD, much like his club has toughened considerably. His amazing try scoring ability has returned but with a new threat - drop goal kicking. He has lost weight leading to tries like the intercept tries he scored against Italy and Munster.

Most interestingly he is not a player for the limelight anymore. He passed up the Leinster captaincy to Cullen and the Lions captaincy went to Paul O'Connell after discussions with Ian McGeechan and his international teammate.

And so full circle, karma, has come around. Although Umaga and Mealamu have long sinced retired, the physical intimidation of World Champions South Africa awaits the Lions tour of 2009.

This tour will top of what has already been a dream like season for the Ireland captain. If they win his place in Rugby Valhalla will be incontestable, and if they lose, those demons from that fateful day in Christchurch may come back to haunt him.

Congratulations to BOD and the boys for a fantastic season for this Leinster and Ireland fan and best of luck to the Lions this summer. Here's hoping BOD, the phoenix and the Lion will come full circle from the ashes of 2005.

How Barcelona Became 2009 Champions of Europe

Matthew Maloney — Wed, 27 May 2009 19:08:16 -0400

It's the second half of the second half of the final of the Champions League and Barcelona are 2-0 up in the biggest game in the history of the club against the reigning English, World, and European champions, Manchester United.

It is precisely at this point that 95 percent of club teams in world football would succumb to that temptation to just shut up shop.

But Barcelona are not just a club.

Suddenly, in an almost Carlos Alberto-like fashion (c. 1970) captain Carles Puyol pops up on the right wing to receive a delicately weighted ball by the maestro that is Xavi Hernandez following yet another mesmerizing passage of play from the Spanish champions...fortunately while he was not able to finish what would have been an extraordinary goal, the real damage had been before.

Needless to say, the daring and expressive ideals by which Pep Guardiola and his players have stood by through thin, and at times, even thinner, prevailed in this year's classic edition of the Champions League.

With this in mind, it's time to look back at the journey Barcelona took as they navigated what, on paper, seemed a tournament ripe for further English domination.

It all started in Group C for Barcelona. On paper, Barcelona drew a considerably favorable group with the Swiss champions Basel, the Ukranian champions Shakhtar Donetsk, and the Portugeese club Sporting Lisbon. Resounding victories in Basel (5-0) and Lisbon (5-2) were an omen of the brilliant attacking play that other teams were to later see (and fear) more of in La Liga and the 2009 CL.

Suffice to say Barcelona finished top of their group with a plus-10 goal difference while suffering their sole loss in this year's competition against Shakhtar (against which they played a weakened side having already qualified and against whom would later go on to win the last ever UEFA Cup.)

With the knockout rounds commencing in February, Barcelona were to next meet French champions Olympique Lyonnais. The first leg in France was to prove somewhat inconclusive with Henry returning to France to cancel out yet another of Juninho's specialty free kicks.

Of course, one of the enduring images from this tie was not of the events that were to transpire during the tie, but when the tie was actually drawn live at UEFA. Lyon officials (grown men, I presume) were clearly seen shaking their heads and letting out sighs of pain at the news they would face Barcelona...but these childish reactions were to be well-founded.

Barcelona destroyed Lyon 5-2 in the return leg, with Henry again proving he had no sympathy for some of his international teammates by scoring a brace, ending their dreams.

Next up were German champions and cup holders Bayern Munich in the quarterfinals. In what was effectively to become the 45 minutes that ended Jurgen Klinnsman's comical tenure at Bayern, Barcelona scored four goals in another breathtaking display of class, technique, and daring at the Camp Nou.

Barcelona were through by halftime in the first leg.

A 1-1 dead rubber followed in Munich of course and preparations began in earnest for the coming semifinal clash with last year's unlucky finalists, English giants Chelsea, shortly after.

It would be somewhat of a euphemism to say Barcelona and Chelsea "had history" together, especially during Chelseas's Mourinho era. Football fans expected fireworks, and oh boy, there were many!

In what was to become a classic club tie between the two footballing philosophies that have continually struggled with each other for supremacy in football—that of Lo Joga Bonita (eulogised in Brazil) and of catenaccio or football by numbers (adhered to in Italy)—the first leg was to prove inconclusive. Barcelona dominated possession against a team of bodybuilders who were intent on keeping a clean sheet but doing their best not to score an away goal in the process.

The real controversy and fireworks began in Stamford Bridge however. Poor Norwegian referee Tom "You don't get penalties for going near the opposition penalty area with the ball" Overebo may go down in Chelsea football history infamy, but Iniesta's now classic wondergoal in extra time despite being reduced to 10 men will certainly live long in the memory of many a football fan.

It was to provide the difference between the sides. When the going became tough, Barcelona admirably stuck to their guns in an intensely hostile atmosphere and were rewarded.

Although Didier Droga was to afterwards utter the immortal words "Disgrace, a f*cking disgrace," in this author's view, with respect to Chelsa football club, Abramovich's Chelsea making it through would have been just that for the game.

And then the final tonight, 27/05/09. An altogether brief whirlwind unleashed by Manchester United in the first 20 minutes was to dissipate with Samuel Eto'o's goal against the run of play and afterwards, they never looked back.

Lionel Messi proved he could head the ball by seconding Barcelona's by now, clear advantage in class in midfield after a beautifully curvaceous ball by Xavi. Xavi himself was to hit the post while a clearly unfit Henry was to torment a similarily unfit Rio Ferdinand in another opening. The best team won the final that everyone wanted.

And so after a unique treble, the questions must arise: is this the best Barcelona side to have won the European Cup? Better than the Rijkaard-Ronaldinho 2006 vintage? Better than Cruyff's dream team of 1992?

The answer is a tentative yes. Pep Guardiola has done what no rookie has done before and delivered Barcelona's finest ever season to the supporters and club. Henry, Messi (who will win this year's Ballon d'Or barring him embarking on a shotgun rampage or burning down an a girls orphanage) and Eto'o broke records galore with their goal-scoring prowess.

Also, it must be remembered that this is a triumph of homegrown football over petrodollars (cough* Chelsea, Man City). Valdes, Puyol, Xavi, Iniesta, Pique, Busquets, and even Krkic made this treble triumph a distinctly Catalonian achievement. When people will talk of Jock Stein's famous Glasgow European champions years from now, Spain, and hopefully the world at large, will talk about Pep's Cataluian triumph.

As a club sponsored, for free by Unicef, I can honestly think of no other club which deserved to win the Champions League more this season just based on likability or aesthetic criteria.

The challenge now is to prove it belongs amongst the greatest teams of all time. It must do what no other club has done. It must retain the Champions League.