Bleacher Report - Articles by Bart Upchurch

The Buffalo Bills Made Me Have the Best Weekend Ever

Bart Upchurch — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:53:02 -0400

A few months ago I recieved a text from Jeremy that said "We Have to go to the Bills/Jags game." For those of you that know me well, you know that I get very hype off of positive commands. For example "Bart, you HAVE to take this shot since the Bills just won," or my Doctors at Duke saying,"Bart you will smile again," after my facial paralysis surgery.

Anyway, I responded to Jeremy's text "I swear we are going because I love the Bills more than life." Through the following weeks we were able to get Andrew, Matt, and Jordan to go with us.

Last Saturday arrived (Sept 13) and I was very excited. I knew I was going to be around other people that loved the Bills. Being in North Carolina, everyone I know gets VERY tired of me talking about the Bills all the time. I will admit that is pretty much all I talk about. My brother is not even a Bills fan and he has to hear it everyday when we work out. Out of the 90 minutes we work out, I talk about them about 60 minutes. I then think about them for 27 minutes, and work out for three minutes.

Anyway, back to the story. Jeremy pulls up in my yard with our crew. We then put my Bills magnets all over the truck and head to Jacksonville. For eight hours all we talked about was Buffalo football. We arrived in Jacksonville and Christina's apartment (which she was nice enough to let us crash), then we got ready to go out. We all wore our Bills stuff to the bars (I wore my O.J Simpson t-shirt) and I figured someone would try to fight us sooner or later.

We went to a really nice bar that was outside. It was a perfect night. They would not let Matt in because he had on a t-shirt that he had made with a sharpie. I talked the bouncer into letting me buy a shirt for Matt from the bar. He agreed. We had a few drinks then decided to go somewhere else.

The next place was a little more wild. Jeremy and I were doing our normal thing.We were yelling "f*ck the Jaguars," "sweep the leg," "nice shirt f**," (if someone had on a Jags shirt). I went to the bathroom and by the time I came out I heard some shocking news.Of all people Andrew had been kicked out of the bar. Andrew, who teaches fifth grade and is the nicest friend I have, was kicked out.

I walked outside and he was yelling in a bouncers face "You just kicked me out cause I'm a Bills fan," screamed. "You are a fa**** and the Bills are going to kick the Jags f*ckin ass tomorrow."

I have to admit...my heart swelled up with pride. I couldn't let Andrew be alone so I told the bouncer he looked like the guy from Beetle Juice then I started singing the Buffalo Shout song remixing it will all curse words. They kicked me out too, then Matt took off his "new bar shirt" and threw it at the bouncer's feet. The Bills Backers of Greenville N.C. had taken over Jacksonville. We left and went to another bar. We had made some friends that loved the Bills so they came too. It ended up being a great night.

The next morning, we all got up early. It was time to tailgate. The Bills Backers of Jacksonville had mailed me a parking pass to tailgate with fellow Bills fans so we left to do that. We all had on Bills jerseys. Jeremy had on a Christmas stocking hat and I had on a blue wig. It was 97 degrees but we didn't care. We tailgated for a few then headed to see the Buffalo Bills get it done.

The game started out awesome. Lynch scored, the D looked good,and we were in the stands with a lot of Bills fans. Here in N.C. I'm rarely around Bills fans so it felt outstanding. Most people around here like the Panthers, Cowboys, Redskins, and Patriots. I say...screw those teams.Oh, and screw every team in the NFL that's not the Bills. I was so happy when Tom Brady got hurt I shed tears of joy.

Anyway,the game was close and I hate close games. I would rather see the Bills win 400 to 0. I don't know if you are supposed to pray for wins but I did. I told God I would not sleep with any more nasty girls, I would not say G.D. anymore, and I would go to church more.

Buffalo ended up pulling it out with a game-winning touchdown by James Hardy (the greatest reciever ever, refer to video on my page). Soooooo Sunday before I go to Tiebreakers I will be in church (And for you judgemental holyrollers don't tell me what I can and can't pray about. At least I'm doing it). Telling someone what to pray about is like when someone says "Bart don't do this and that to your dog, he doesn't like that." I'm like, You don't speak dog, you don't know what the Hell he likes or does not like! If Juice cries or pouts when I give him something he doesn't want, I don't give it to him. If he wags his tail or spins I give it to him.

So if I ask God to keep the Bills healthy and for them to win, guess what, I will ask God to keep the Bills healthy and for them to win.

All in all, the ride home was awesome. We won!! I would not have cared if it would have been a 60 hour ride home. My Bills won and I was the happiest man in the world. I felt better than that feeling I would get when I would climb the swingset poles at Mclaughlin park in the third grade. Like I've said 100,000,000 times, I'm still here for a reason. God loves me and I love him. While I'm here I'm going to love the Buffalo Bills every second of my Buffalo Bills loving life.

GO BILLS 25 hours a day, eight days a week.

How We Do It in Greenville, NC: GO BILLS!

Bart Upchurch — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:02:00 -0500

As I wake Sunday morning the calling is in the air. I jump in the shower, wash up, and spike my hair. Sportscenter is blaring and all my dogs are in sight. I'm smiling because I know what's coming later in the night.

I go to my closest—a tough decision to make. Should I wear McGahee or Spikes or should I paint my face? As I put on my jersey I feel even more of a man, and I can't wait to watch the game with my other Bills fans.

I dress my truck with magnets and let my flags wave in the air. I run red lights and stop signs and pass people without care. As I get to the bar I see Jeremy, Tom, and Sean. Andrew's usually late, but when he gets there it's on.

Bud Light in the Pitcher, I get my 32 card. Then out comes the Bills, ready to stomp the yard. Willis looks pumped. Lee Evans does, too. Ralph Wilson Stadium is covered in red, white, and blue.

The game’s going great as we take an early lead. Evans scores on a 78 bomb, ‘cause you can't teach speed. High fives fly in the air as Jeremy yells, "That's my dog!” Then I press the button on my Bills Dancing frog.

“We'll take another pitcher,” I say with a smile. This ballgame is over, but we still got a while. Beer after beer and the time keeps tickin’. The chicken wings are hot but they sure are finger lickin’.

Everything tastes sweeter when the Bills have the cards and the deal. Watching poetry in motion as J.P Throws the pill. As the game comes to an end we hug and start victory cussin’. Then Eryn pours a round of tasty White Russians.

"Let's go, Buffalo! Get some, son!" a rat terrier barks. We pound the celebration drinks until dusk turns to dark. Another Perfect Sunday, a perfect victory for my boys. Same time next week, same passion, same noise.

Kevin Everett: More Than a Hero to Me

Bart Upchurch — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 05:49:58 -0500

A good friend called me today and suggested I write a letter to Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett, explaining how I’d been through a situation similar to his own.

For those of you who don't know, Everett suffered a life-threatening spinal injury last Sunday.

I listened to my friend’s words and took them in, but then I had a reality check. Everett’s injury came while he pursued his dream, his passion, and occupation. My injury was the result of too much drinking and obnoxious behavior.

I wasn’t doing something that my heart was in, I wasn’t doing anything for which I might be admired. I had overdone my drinking, as I’ve done many nights, and for no reason at all.

Now five months later, the left side of my face is paralyzed, my right knee doesn’t bend, and I'm blind in my right eye. I often ask myself, “Was the party lifestyle worth it?” No, my friends, it was not.

I do believe that God kept me here for a reason—I hope I find out what that reason is some day.

All the alcohol, drugs, late nights…I have done it all. Since April 26, 2007, I’ve had a million thoughts race through my head. Nowadays I appreciate God, family, and friends a lot more. And I’d also like to apologize to anyone I have ever hurt or caused any harm.

This world we live in is fantastic but it can change in a flash. When life throws you a curve ball...KNOCK IT OVER THE FENCE! I thank God everyday that I'm still here. Not all of us get a second chance...I'm thankful for my second chance and I'm going to do something great with it.

God Bless Kevin Everett and Go Bills,

Bart Upchurch