Bleacher Report - Articles by Jamie Mottram

Skins-Browns Matinee Winners & Losers

Jamie Mottram — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 16:09:25 -0400

It’s almost game time and I have seven-layer dip to dive into, so I’ll keep this brief…

As we’ve done the past couple weeks, we’re gonna leave this premature winners and losers post up during the game for you to slang your knowledge in the comments section.

It’s like an open thread, but we hate that term…let’s call it a thought forum. (This week’s edition is brought to you by preseason Jeff George circa 2001.)

If you’re lucky, we may even plagiarize some of your words in our actual winners and losers post and give you no credit whatsoever! So please, comment away and go Skins.

P.S. Awesome.

Update

About eight heart attacks later, and we got ourselves a nice little victory. And thank God. That would’ve been more brutal than the Rams game, given how dominating the Skins were on defense and on the ground, led by their un-leader Clinton Portis.

Darrius Heyward-Bey Is a Man-Child

Jamie Mottram — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 14:02:13 -0400

The Terps are up 13-0 on Wake at the half, despite two turnovers, in a huge game—the winner will be atop the Atlantic Division standings.

Darrius Heyward-Bey has been a massive part of Maryland’s success thus far, finally having a big game and doing what you’d expect from a man with his skills: catching eight balls for 94 yards and one touchdown, which came on a halfback pass from Da’Rel Scott.

But this catch—well, this is not what you’d expect Heyward-Bey, or any other human being, to do (money shot at 35-second mark):

While we’re here—and I know this has probably been said before—I’d like to state for the record that Doc Walker is the best color commentator in all of football, NCAA or otherwise.

UPDATE: And it’s official—Maryland’s a BIG winner over Wake, 26-0. This means the Terps are now the only team in the country to have defeated three ranked opponents this season. Bet you didn’t know that fun fact.

Is Fox Sports' Criticism of Clinton Portis the Worst Thing Ever Written?

Jamie Mottram — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 08:21:43 -0400

I’ve never heard of Adam Best, but after what he wrote for FOX Sports on Tuesday, it should officially be illegal for him to have thoughts ever again. His words, followed by my reactions to them:

Clinton Portis posted MVP-caliber numbers this past Sunday, but true MVPs don’t let their squads lose to the lowly St. Louis Lambs.

Lambs? Get it? See what he did there? ‘Cause lambs are less intimidating than rams. With wit like that, I can already tell this column is gonna be the awesomest.

By now, everybody’s heard Portis’ grumbling about his Washington Redskins not having their mind right heading into the Rams game, but the person who really needs to pay close attention to those comments is Clinton Portis himself.

So, are they the Lambs or Rams? This is getting confusing. And what you’re saying is that Portis is the only one on the team who didn’t have his mind right for the game? Okay, I’ll bite. Please explain.

I have a hard time swallowing this “Mr. Serious” spiel from Portis. After all, this is the guy who’s concocted more stupid characters than Eddie Murphy played in “Norbit.” This is the guy who once chuckled with Chris Samuels about Michael Vick’s dogfighting ring. This is the guy who once wore a Ric Flair-style gold title belt on the Denver Broncos’ sideline, despite not being the champion of anything I’m aware of.

The most recent event mentioned happened 20 months ago, included Norbit, which I can’t say I’m familiar with. Timely references, indeed. There’s a lot of bullshit to sift through here, but I think your point is that a player cannot be fun off the field and serious on the field, which is fucking ridiculous. I’m quite certain that Clinton Portis takes football seriously.

Portis can run around in phony championship belts and play all the fake characters he wants, but until he displays some real character, his Skins aren’t going to win any real championships.

I’m not sure how you measure character on a football field, but if effort, passion and results have anything to do with it, Portis has as much of this character you speak of as any player in the league. And just to reiterate: Portis hasn’t worn phony belts or played any characters at all this entire season…or preseason…or 2008 calendar year.

Portis has six rushing TDs on the season and leads the league in both rushing attempts (136) and yards (643). Recently, he has been even more impressive, posting three consecutive 100-yard rushing performances. Portis also hasn’t fumbled yet this year and is a stud blocker in pass protection. But the Redskins need more—they need Portis to be their unquestioned leader.

What more can he do to be this “leader” you speak of, aside from the accomplishments you just mentioned? Should he be calling the plays in the huddle? Screaming at his teammates? I honestly have no fucking clue what “they need Portis to be their unquestioned leader” means, given what he does for this team where it counts: on the field.

Jim Zorn is a first-year coach who isn’t exactly Tom Coughlin when it comes to his temperament. Jason Campbell hasn’t done enough yet to be the true leader of that locker room. Mr. Taylor just got to Washington. Chris Cooley is too busy accidentally exposing himself on the Internet. If someone’s going to step up and be the face of the Redskins, it’s going to have to be you, Sheriff Gonnagetcha. What’s truly “gonnagetcha” team somewhere is you stepping up and becoming a leader. Portis should have let his teammates know they weren’t taking a desperate Rams team seriously enough.

Clearly, Adam Best has spent so much time in the Skins locker room that he can inform us of who is the leader in there and who isn’t. Also, the character was “Sheriff Gonna Getcha”…and it was retired THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO.

If Portis had stepped up, assumed a larger leadership role and talked some sense into his teammates before or even during the game—for instance, when Marcus Washington went all “8 Seconds” and celebrated a routine play against a league laughingstock—I wouldn’t be writing this right now. Santana Moss’s brutal two weeks wouldn’t have mattered. Pete Kendall getting all young Tiki Barber with the pigskin? Wouldn’t have mattered. None of it would have mattered, because the Redskins would have won that game.

You actually think that Clinton Portis, an offensive player, should’ve called out Marcus Washington, a defensive player, on the sidelines in the middle of the game for celebrating a play? If that type of shit is what would make Portis a leader, then please Clinton, remain a follower…or whatever it is Adam Best thinks you currently are.

Portis can come out and give us all the lip service he wants, but if he led half as well as he played last week the Burgundy and Gold would be sitting pretty in the NFC East right now. Instead, the Redskins pulled an even bigger Week 6 choke-job than the rival Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants did. Coach Janky Spanky can keep making excuses for his team, but until he truly steps up and becomes the man in D.C. he’ll be Christian Slater (he’s still alive?)—his own worst enemy. If he does step up, I can see him winning the MVP award and carrying his team deep into the playoffs.

A Coach Janky Spanky and Christian Slater reference in the same sentence? Jesus. I give up.

(Found via Riggo’s Rag)

Redskins-Rams: Winners & Losers

Jamie Mottram — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:50:11 -0400

Handing out labels following 'Skins games. Today: a 19-17 loss to St. Louis...

WINNERS: Jim Zorn – Because of three killer fumbles, the 'Skins lost a game they should’ve won by 10 with a balanced offensive attack and dominant defense. It was a punch in the gut, losing at home to one of the worst teams in the league, but Zorn Star’s axiom to “stay medium” comes into play now just as much as it did after winning at Dallas and Philly.

Clinton Portis –Yet another 100-yard day, two more TDs, and exemplary pass protection (or “pass pro,” as the experts call it). He’s having the best year of his career, and he’s had a hell of a career.

Carlos Rogers –Jason La Canfora dubbed him a “shutdown corner” this week, which I thought was a bit much, but he locked up Torry Holt all day.

Chris Horton –Forced a fumble on a WR reverse that was a freak-type play. Seriously, it was the type of play we’re accustomed to seeing from guys named Landry, Taylor, and Arrington.

Marcus Washington – Didn’t think he was going to start this week, yet he forced Steven Jackson to fumble inside St. Louis’ five on the Rams’ opening series and later debuted his “Ride That Pony” dance.

Jason Campbell – Finally fumbled, but that wasn’t really his fault. Also, didn’t make many, if any, bad throws and led a nice fourth-quarter comeback.

Antwaan Randle El – Caught five balls for 87 yards, including a huge one on 3rd-and-14 to get to the goal line and cap the comeback.

Ladell Betts – Made a big play on 3rd-and-12; catching a screen, breaking a tackle, and picking up 11. Portis proceeded to pick up the first on 4th-and-1. Also hurt his leg (knee?) late in the game.

LOSERS: Leigh Torrence –You don’t lose a game on just one play, but if you could, Torrence lost this one by letting Donnie Avery catch that deep, desperation ball with under a minute left. (Where was Smoot, by the way?) Also, went facemask-to-nose with Rams Head Coach Jim Haslett after a punt. Not sure why, but it’s worth mentioning.

Pete Kendall – Caught a deflected Campbell pass in the red zone, tried to advance the ball, coughed it up, and watched it go the length of the field the other way for a TD. Epic. Fail.

Durant Brooks – Averaged 40.4 yards per punt, but that doesn’t tell the story. Drawing boos from the home crowd does. Getting yelled at by teammates does. Shanking one out of your own end zone does. And so on. I was officially wrong about this guy. Derrick Frost still sucks though.

Santana Moss – Dropped as many passes as he caught (two).

Kenny, Moose & Goose –Darryl Johnstone told a never-ending story about how he almost became a Raider instead of a Cowboy. Also, to quote Siragusa, “There’s no reason you don’t kill a fly with a sledgehammer.”

MEDIUM: LaRon Landry – Recovered a fumble, dropped an interception, and lit up a Rams receiver.

London Fletcher – The guy was everywhere, as always. Did drop an easy INT though.

Shaun Suisham –Made his eighth FG in a row, then put the ensuing kickoff out of bounds.

Chris Cooley – Killed an early scoring drive with a fumble; the 'Skins’ first turnover of the season. Later false started on 3rd-and-4. Also, made one of the best catches you’ll ever see.

Jon Jansen – Winner on run blocking, loser on pass protection.

NEXT: Cleveland at Washington, Sunday, Oct. 19, 4:15 PM EDT

Jason Campbell Has a Geico Commercial

Jamie Mottram — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 08:26:10 -0400

JC’s obviously having a big year, but there aren’t many non-partisans who thought he was headed that way prior to the season. Count Geico among the believers.

During the broadcast of Skins domination in Philly, Fox played a new Geico spot starring Campbell and a Lumberg-esque agent. It was just OK for me, dawg, but the bigger picture is that a Redskins QB is the spokesman in a national advertising campaign, albeit one that also stars Joan Rivers and Peter Frampton.

Campbell’s NFL.com Fantasy Files ad aside, I’m not sure that’s happened since the days of Joe Theismann, and, even then, I’m only guessing as he was such a natural. Just look at him.

Watch Campbell’s Geico ad and decide for yourself whether it’s a good one or not, but this much we know: Our guy is catching up quick to McNabb, Eli, and Romo, both on the field and in the bank. And while he fancies himself a Denzel, we all know he’s more of a Billy Dee.

Update: Not sure how I forgot Doug Williams going to Disney World.

Update No. 2: Thanks to Meech, the ad is now found after the jump.
(more…)

Redskins-Eagles: Winners & Losers

Jamie Mottram — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 11:41:56 -0400

Handing out labels following 'Skins games. Today: a 23-17 win over Philly …

WINNERS

Clinton Portis. CP continues to party like it’s 2005, and yesterday was his best game of the season. He rushed for 145 at a five-per-carry clip, including a much-deserved TD. But, most importantly, he picked up the game-clinching first down on 4th-and-1 with 2:48 left. On top of that, it was CP who called the draw play.

London Fletcher. He may very well be the most important player on this entire team. He runs the show on D, and yesterday he made several game-changing tackles on Westbrook.

Jason Campbell. He continues to “manage the game,” but in a good way, not in a “this guy sucks, please don’t lose it for us by throwing picks” sorta way. Speaking of picks, he still has thrown zero.

The defense. Aside from the Eagles' opening drive, the D totally shut down Philly’s offense. They forced five punts and made a goal-line stand in the fourth (anchored by Rocky and Andre), which held the Eagles to a field goal.

Chris Cooley. A huge game for Cooley—109 yards on eight catches, capped off by a TD reception on the ARE run-pass option play thingee. Kudos to Cooley for working himself open on a play that didn’t appear to be designed to go to him.

Although I haven’t broken down the film yet. UPDATE: I broke down the film (see: watched the replay). It appears that the play was designed for Moss in the corner of the end zone and Cooley was the underneath check-down for ARE.

Jim Zorn. I’m not sure if it’s getting his players to “stay medium” or his “hip hip hooray” cheers, but whatever he’s doing, it’s working. The team is finding ways to win games that in recent years, they would’ve found ways to lose. Yesterday was a prime example.

Speaking of the three cheers, we now gots a shiny new shirt in honor of the Zorn celebration, which he did again yesterday. Get you one.

Shaun Suisham. He went 3/3 on attempts, all three of which were outside of his comfort zone. Which is to say they were all over 40 yards, including the huge 50-yarder he nailed before the half. All of this is enough to overlook his out of bounds kickoff.

The Dirtbags. They opened up big holes for the backs all day, which led to a team rushing total of 203 yards one week after putting up 161 on Dallas.

LOSERS

Antwaan Randel-El. The aforementioned pass to Cooley was awesome, but my man is paid to catch the football, not throw it. He dropped three easy passes.

Durant Brooks. A Vinny Cerrato special. We waste a draft pick on a punter, which means we’re then forced to cut the incumbent, Derrick Frost. Brooks’ four punts yesterday averaged 34 yards.

Devin Thomas. He continues to hold down his weekly spot in the losers section. This time, it was for his blatant pass interference on third down pass to Moss. It brought back both a first down and Santana’s only catch of the day.

The refs. There is simply no explanation for picking up the flag on that block in the back on the Eagles' punt return. It’s one thing to miss the penalty, but the ref saw it, threw the flag, and then somehow they decided that a Redskin had blocked his own player in the back.

In the refs’ defense, it is pretty difficult to tell burgundy and green apart. The gaffe handed Philly a free touchdown.

Donovan McNabb. Normally, we save this space just for discussing the performance of Redskins personnel, but this postgame quote from McNabb warrants his inclusion:

“There is no way that you can look at this game and say that, and not taking anything away from them, but there is no way that this team is better than us.”

Yep, there’s no way you can say the 'Skins are better. Aside from the scoreboard, our record, and the fact that Washington dominated the game for all but the first eight minutes.

Pithily Ranking All Eight MLB Playoff Teams

Jamie Mottram — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 14:44:20 -0400

This list is excerpted as part of a group effort over at Yahoo!’s Big League Stew, and the others in the group actually know shit about baseball, so you should just go there now.

1. Red Sox: Kevin Youkilis’ batting stance bothers me so much, as does every fiber of Jonathan Papelbon’s being. Still, they score more runs than anyone else in the AL quartet, and their pitching is near the top.

2. Cubs: Not sure the city of St. Louis could survive a Jim Edmonds-powered Cubs championship. And by “city of St. Louis,” I mean Will Leitch.

3. Phillies: Jamie Moyer’s continued success is beyond my realm of comprehension, but I refuse to question it. After him and Cole though, that rotation is more suspect than Jayson Werth’s landing strip.

4. Rays: One must be leery of any playoff club with a team MVP who sports a sub-.700 OPS. Conversely, one must always root for teams that swill beer from banana cups.

5. Angels: Most boring team in the field? Most boring team in the field.

6. Dodgers: Is there enough magic in the moonlight for Torre and Manny to make it a Boston-L.A. World Series? No.

7. Brewers: As much as I love CC, Prince, Braun, and the idea of the Brew Crew, they have all the makings of a one-and-done.

8. White Sox: Advancement to the ALCS would be a shot to two things: a) the merits of the current playoff system and b) my interest in the ALCS.

Redskins-Cowboys: Winners & Losers

Jamie Mottram — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 21:54:43 -0400

Handing out labels following 'Skins' games. Today:A 26-24 win over Dallas...

WINNERS: Jim Zorn and Jason Campbell – Their success and growth are intrinsically linked, and, for both of them, this is their first win against Dallas. It came in Washington’s final game at Texas Stadium to boot, a victory fit for inclusion among the new classics.

To Zorn’s credit, they keep producing TD drives that seem to benefit from perfect—albeit unorthodox—playcalling. To Campbell’s credit, there were so many times where he evaded the rush to find secondary and even tertiary receivers for big gains. And, again, no turnovers. Let’s hope this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

The defense – Dallas had scored 96 points through three games, and Tom Jackson even compared them to the ‘07 Patriots on NFL Countdown. Then the 'Skins held them to 44 yards rushing and 24 points (seven of which came during garbage time). What an effort.

Chris Horton – His interception was a great play, and a huge factor in the outcome of this game. The seventh-round rookie is now starting and has three INTs and a fumble recovery through parts of four games.

Santana Moss – Had another All-Pro day (8 catches, 145 yards, repped 21), and has had a mighty fine quarter-season.

Clinton Portis – Six yards per carry, 135 total yards, and one curious TD celebration that was all for naught (thanks, Rabach!).

The Dirtbags – Dominated Dallas’ defensive line every which way and helped to lead time of possession by 16 minutes.

Antwaan Randle El – Actually had some positive-yardage punt returns. Also caught a TD.

Shawn Springs – Was all over T.O., who was mostly a non-factor. As soon as he came out, Dallas immediately went after Rogers.

James Thrash — Always good to see a seldom-used guy catch a TD pass.

London Fletcher – Forced a fumble that caused a 3rd-and-14, then a punt.

Durant Brooks – Solid (on punts and holds), and boomed a 60-yarder.

'Skins fans in Dallas – Every time Cooley caught one you could hear “COOOOOL” loud and clear.

LOSERS: Joe Buck & Troy Aikman – Buck needs to go, and Aikman needs to stay away from Dallas games, because, regardless of how objective he tries to be, he’s not objective. And nice puff piece on Jay Novacek. What the hell was that? Where’s our Clint Didier feature?

Lorenzo Alexander – Brought in as the sixth lineman on 3rd-and-1 on the opening drive, only to false start. 'Skins failed to convert, punted.

Carlos Rogers – Committed a needless defensive holding on a third-down Romo throwaway that gave Dallas a first. Next play: TD to Witten.

Marcus Washington – Was outmatched in man coverage on Witten’s TD, and Aikman later called him out for losing a step.

Danny Smith – Why the short, pop-up kickoff to start the 2nd half? Dallas started on the 42, and scored real quick.

Casey Rabach – Brought not one but two touchdowns back with penalties...In the same series.

NEXT: Washington at Philly Sunday 10/5, 1 p.m. ET

Shaun Suisham Is a Better Kicker Than Mark Moseley

Jamie Mottram — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 08:59:48 -0400

Any Redskins fan who sees this picture from last week’s team luncheon is probably wishing for the days of Mark Moseley, or perhaps Chip Lohmiller, when our team actually had a placekicker who could make field goals.

But those Skins fans should also look at the numbers, because the numbers say young jedi Shaun Suisham is a better kicker than master Mark Moseley.

Absurd, right? Suisham is an oft-criticized youngster who missed a crucial 30-yarder in last year’s playoffs, while Moseley is Redskins royalty who won the ‘82 MVP.* Yet Suisham has also made 84 percent of his kicks as a Redskin, while Moseley only made 66 percent.

That’s a big difference, and one explained in part by sample sizes and advances in kicking. Still, Suisham made 83 percent last year, which would have been comparable to the second best season of Moseley’s long career, and is about average by today’s standards.

And, sure, “average” doesn’t sound so good. Probably because it’s not. But 83 percent is better than Lohmiller ever did, and he was a second round draft pick and Pro Bowler with his own McDonald’s commercial.

And 83 percent is also better than the terrible kickers who followed Lohmiller’s departure 13 years ago: Eddie Murray (73 percent), Cary Blanchard (63 percent), Scott Blanton (73 percent), Brett Conway (75 percent), John Hall (78 percent), etc., etc.

So while Suisham doesn’t have much of a leg for 50-yarders and touchbacks, maybe we should relax a bit on the “Shaun Suisham sucks” thing and appreciate him for what he seems to be: a pretty accurate kicker.

*How Moseley won MVP is beyond me. I mean, he had a great season, missing just one field goal, but still. He was a kicker, and ‘82 saw guys like Dan Fouts, Marcus Allen, and Lawrence Taylor operating at peak form.

Dude Whose Dad Was in Ratt Is Benched: Maryland's Chris Turner No Longer Starter

Jamie Mottram — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:35:51 -0400

Hey, did you guys hear that Maryland QB Chris Turner’s dad was the drummer for Ratt? No, man, I’m so not kidding you! His pops was totally in that semi-memorable '80s hair metal band responsible for such hits as “Round and Round,” and, um, some other moderately successful songs that I might recognize if I heard them.

Oh, you’d already heard that fun fact, like, eight times every game that Turner started, which equates to hearing it approximately 64 times, not counting off day mentions?

Well, don’t worry. Ratt references will be cut at least in half this season: Turner lost his starting job yesterday to Jordan Steffy.

“What made it hard is that Chris played well in the games,” Friedgen said. “That’s his MO. But based on not only fall practice, but I even went back to spring practices, and (Steffy) was by far and away ahead in all the statistics.”

Now, I’m no expert on collegiate football, but I’m pretty sure in any form of pigskin, you wanna start the quarterback who plays well in games over the guy who plays well in practice. (Turner was 3-5 last year, but he beat two top 10 teams in Rutgers and BC). Colt Brennan should supplant Jason Campbell based on that rationale.

They also still have Florida transfer Josh Portis as their third stringer, who apparently is good at running very, very quickly. And that’s about it.

(More on the Terps to come before the season starts with our second annual round table, featuring dudes who know a lot more about Maryland football than we do.)

Fun With Predictions for the Washington Redskins

Jamie Mottram — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:44:21 -0400

Best. Preseason predictions. Ever.

4. Washington Redskins - The only non-league road game that is difficult is Seattle; the rest are winnable: Detroit, Baltimore, Cincinnati, San Francisco. And if there’s a slow start, it is because the Skins travel to the Giants, Eagles and Cowboys before the middle of October. Our fears: new coach, the offense will need the new WRs to contribute, and of course, the injury-depleted d-line. Projecting 8-8.

The Skins will finish last in the division? Fine. Whatever, maybe they will, maybe they won’t—that’s the pointless nature of preseason predictions. But here’s the shocking bit of this excerpt: The Seahawks, Lions, Ravens, Bengals and 49ers are no longer in the NFL!

Yeah, apparently they have switched to something called the “non-league.” I’m not sure if the Skins games against them actually count towards their record, or if they’re just considered friendlies. We’ll find out soon, though.

Of course, it won’t matter anyway because the Skins D-line is just soooo depleted. You know, if “depleted” means “is one of the few areas where the team improved in the offseason.”

Let me break it down in mathematical terms: Skins D-line - Phillip Daniels + Jason Taylor = Opposite of depleted.

But, even if our D-line isn’t depleted, we’re gonna need those rookie WRs to contribute big time. Because any fool knows the key to NFL success lies in the performance of your No. 4 and 5 receivers. Just ask Steve Spurrier. Those five-wide formations are vital!

Although they do have a new coach. That logic I simply cannot argue with.

Jim Zorn Talks Dirty; Devin Thomas Talks Stupid

Jamie Mottram — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:47:11 -0400

I first read this quote without context on Deadspin yesterday:

“My hope is that the younger guys like Malcolm and Devin will actually hang around and just sort of rub up right against” Thrash, Zorn said, “and then all that stuff will just ooze onto them, because he brings a lot to the table.”

Hilarious and Zorn Star-rific, sure, but I didn’t read the actual story until seeing it again this morning on The Player Hater’s Ball.

It was then I realized Zorn was talking about Redskins second-round rookie wideouts Malcolm Kelly and Devin Thomas showing up to camp out of shape, which may or may not have led to minor injuries that have put them behind on learning the West Coast offense.

Thomas, however, is not trying to hear that:

“As far as making an impact from the get-go, I don’t look at that as a difficult thing to do.”

Given context, that’s as misguidedly sad as Zorn’s quote was unintentionally funny. We called it “very odd” that the Skins would take three receivers on the first day of the draft, and now James Thrash is still the third wideout after Thalia and Melpomene.

While he seems like a wonderful, hardworking guy, Thrash is also 33 and hasn’t caught 20 passes in a season since 2003.

For as good as many of the other rookies looked in the preseason opener, this doesn’t bode well for the first draft class authored by Vinny Cerrato. But hey, at least he didn’t trade for Favre! Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

Narcoleptic Adam Jones Is Dreaming of Hitting Grand Slams

Jamie Mottram — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 23:37:19 -0400

In spite of the O’s being 11 games back and slow to deal Aubrey Huff (21 HR) and/or George Sherrill (30 SV), it provides great pleasure to see them win in New York. It's probably because they’re dead at the deadline that games like tonight’s 13-4 win bring me such joy, but either way.

Jeremy Guthrie got a rare win (his seventh, which is a pittance considering his 3.49 ERA), and just about everyone hit, including home runs from the warmed-over carcass of Kevin Millar, trade bait Huff and future star Adam “Sleepy” Jones. In fact, Jones had a career night, including a grand slam.

So take a bow, sleepy head. You continue to be one of the few bright spots Baltimore’s got, which is still a few more than that other team in the Mid-Atlantic region.

Jason Taylor, Not Brett Favre, Is the Washington Redskins' Big Catch

Jamie Mottram — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 09:04:13 -0400

Jason Taylor is good, Jason Taylor is old and Jason Taylor is a Washington Redskin. He doesn’t come cheap either, costing the reigning NFC Wild Card a second-rounder in 2009 and a sixth in 2010 draft. And, after all comes out in the wash, I like it a lot. Now, for the wash.

1. Last year’s Redskins couldn’t rush the passer.

According to Pro Football Prospectus, they “hurried the opposing quarterback on less than nine percent of all pass plays, the lowest percentage in the NFL.” Ouch.

2. Jason Taylor, even at the age of 33, could rush the passer.

He had 11 sacks and 16 hurries in '07, which is waaay more than the guy he’s replacing, Phillip Daniels, who recorded 2.5 and 4 respectively at the age of 34.

3. Taylor, who turns 34 the day I turn 31, is old.

How old? That’s him grasping Jeff Hostetler there. Also, according to PFP, “defensive ends generally begin to decline after age 29.” I’m glad I’m not a defensive end.

4. Taylor’s play seems to be slipping.

Again, via PFP: “Taylor was one of the most penalized players last season, drawing 11 flags—five for jumping offside, four for various types of roughness, and two for holding.”

5. Taylor and Carter are the new Manley and Mann.

The Skins haven’t had pass rushing ends like this since the ’80s. Add in tackles Cornelius Griffin and Anthony Montgomery, and the Skins haven’t had a D-line like this since the ’80s, when Dexter and Charles teamed up with Dave Butz and Darryl Grant. Pray no one gets hurt though, because there’s no depth, as is the case with most of the units on this team.

6. Taylor and Carter get to fight over No. 99.

Taylor wore it in Miami. Carter wears it in D.C., and recorded 10.5 sacks in it last year.

7. This mortgages tomorrow for today.

Obviously, but improper drafting and the misuse of picks is why the Skins are so thin. It seemed Danny and Vinny were turning the corner this year, avoiding the free agent splash and adding, rather than subtracting, picks.

But, here we go again. Taylor’s contract expires after ‘09, and he has mentioned that he may not play past this season. However long he plays, he’s an improvement, at least for the next year or two. The opposite is true for ‘10 and beyond.

8. Taylor gives us someone to blog about. The Bogwagon needs fuel.

In the end, No. 4 and No. 7 bother me (especially No. 7), but No. 1 and No. 2 are why the Skins had to do the deal. Rushing the passer has a massive effect on the defense performance, and Carter and the secondary must be turning cartwheels right now. They just added one of the premier pass rushers of this or any decade, and he’ll terrorize quarterbacks and attract double-teams all season long. It’s a good day to be a Redskin.

Luke Scott Introduces the Walk-Off Slide in Baltimore Orioles' Win

Jamie Mottram — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 21:29:11 -0400

On Friday night, Melvin Mora did something I’ve never seen before, and, one night later, Luke Scott replicated the feat.

Scott didn't dribble a long ball atop the foul pole, but he launching a game-winner onto Eutaw Street and then greeted his teammates with a slide into home.

Though they have no shot at contending and should be unloading guys like Huff and Sherrill at the deadline, the 2008 Orioles are a lot of fun.

I mean, they had 100-loss expectations and Kevin Millar as the Opening Day cleanup hitter. Yet here they are sniffing .500 with four guys—Markakis, Roberts, Huff, and Scott—posting an .850-plus OPS and another—Adam Jones—establishing himself as the CF of tomorrow.

They won’t play into October, but they’re easy to cheer for, and that’s half the battle. With the aforementioned in place and future star Matt Weiters on the way, the other half may not be that far off.

Blog Show No. 53: I Hate Goodbyes

Jamie Mottram — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 01:58:29 -0400

If I wasn’t so rushed, I’d get weepy about this like the last time my dalliance with a blog-based sports broadcast came to an end. Fortunately for you, I’m in the midst of working, moving, and having a baby, so let’s stick to the facts.

What the Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic viewing audience (Hi, Grandma!) was treated to Wednesday late afternoon was the final edition of Blog Show as we know it.

Steinz and I got to panel-ize along with highly professional broadcast professional Russ Thaler for the entire 60 minutes of Washington Post Live; wearing big-boy clothes all the while.

One of the segments (the one seen below, in fact), centered on the awkward little program that could and walked through our signature moments: broken YouTubes, obscene dancing, Soulja Boy, Erin Andrews, T-shirts, Don King and so on.

It was enormous fun, if a bit indulgent, and I thank super-producer Adam Littlefield and company for giving us the opportunity, which really was once in a lifetime. Again, I don’t have time to get into it, but if you want to see me emote on the matter, just go to the 8:11 mark. I mean it all.

Bonus: Follow the jump for Rusty’s poignant and flattering final thought, titled “Blog Show=The Simpsons” (not really).
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Beyond the Bleachers: Interview with Washington Nationals Blogger Chris Needham

Jamie Mottram — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:24:09 -0400

I read sports blogs all day, every day. That’s what I do. And one of my favorite blogs, and probably the best of any focusing on one of my teams, was Capitol Punishment.

So my days got a little darker when its proprietor, Chris Needham decided last month to blog less and live more. Let’s catch up.

JM: After three-plus years on Capitol Punishment, you stopped blogging one day in May, simply saying, “It’s time to move on.” Why’d you stop, and what are you doing now?

CN: Three-plus years? Man, that’s depressing! I stopped because it was becoming increasingly difficult to find original things to say. There are only so many ways that you can say “FIRE LENNY!” Plus, it’s hard to pay attention as closely to the team as I needed to in order to write the kinds of posts I strived for when the stench from the team would gag a South Texas homicide investigator. Throw in that I was planning (a very loose term) a wedding/honeymoon (ed. note: cheers!), and I just had better things to do with my time than watch Luis Ayala blow another game after the team valiantly scraped three hits together in eight innings.

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Sidney Ponson Released for Bad Behavior

Jamie Mottram — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 12:02:22 -0400

As you likely hadn’t noticed, Sidney Ponson, the former O’s starting pitcher who’s best known for being drunk and fat, had been pitching for the Rangers since April 26. He had been pitching well: 4-1 with a 3.88 ERA in the worst rotation in baseball. Yesterday, the team released him for, what else, being a fat, drunk asshole. (Via Lone Star Ball):

Team sources said Ponson was put on notice after creating a serious disturbance at a hotel bar in St. Petersburg during the team’s last road trip. He was told that further problems would not be tolerated.

Two more incidents occurred this week. Ponson started with three days’ rest on Wednesday against the Indians and allowed six runs in four innings. Only two were earned because of three errors committed behind him, and Ponson reacted furiously after being taken out. His actions were interpreted as “showing up” his teammates.

The second incident occurred when manager Ron Washington informed Ponson on Thursday that he would be pushed back in his next start so that Kevin Millwood could start Tuesday on his regular four days’ rest. Ponson would have pitched on Wednesday on six days’ rest. Ponson wasn’t happy with that decision and made his feelings clear in a heated discussion with the manager.

So, let’s review Sir Sidney’s resume since achieving Knighthood in Aruba in ‘03. He beat a judge up on a beach in Aruba in ‘04 and spent 11 days in jail. He was arrested for DUI in Maryland in ‘05 and arrested four months later for another DUI. He's been cut by five teams (including the Rangers) in a three-year span.

If he keeps this up, headlines will show him going on a five-month booze and drug binge, broke and homeless, and found dead, face down in the volcanic, uninhabited beaches of east Aruba.

NHL Shop Ruins Surprise Over Alex Ovechkin's Hart Trophy Win

Jamie Mottram — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:29:18 -0400

Japers’ Rink uncovers this great find: the Alex Ovechkin Hart Trophy t-shirt!

Why is this a great find, you ask? Oh, because the NHL isn’t supposed to announce the ‘08 Hart winner (that’s for league MVP, you idiot) until next Thursday’s televised awards ceremony in Toronto. Oops!

And since I have no understanding of anything hockey-related, let’s turn to three of the sport’s finest bloggers for some perspective …

Greg Wyshynski at Puck Daddy:

The League shouldn’t catch a ton of heat for this unfortunate leak, because there was really no chance in hell Ovechkin wasn’t winning the Hart.

James Mirtle at, uh, James Mirtle:

While it was likely a foregone conclusion that Ovechkin would win the Hart Trophy, this is a nightmare for the NHL.

Eric McErlain at FanHouse:

Congratulations Alex! Be sure to act surprised next week in Toronto.

It’s that last sentiment that’s probably most important. And the shirt is actually pretty good looking, in a keepsake kind of way. Might have to pick one up myself. Once it goes back on sale next Thursday, of course.

Elijah Dukes: One of the Sweetest Walk-Offs These Eyes Have Ever Seen

Jamie Mottram — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 23:41:07 -0400

Elijah Dukes, homerless and struggling this year, capped a remarkable Washington Nationals comeback Thursday night with a two-run, tenth inning home run to beat the St. Louis Cardinals, 10-9.

And on Mr. Walk-Off, A.K.A. Ryan Zimmerman, Bobblehead Night no less!

So much to love about the walk-off smash (video forthcoming down below via that fine fellow Brian Powell at Awful Announcing):

It was Dukes’ first HR of the season. Finally.
It snaps a four-game losing streak and came after blowing a 7-0 lead.
Bill Simmons says you can gauge a team’s camaraderie by their homeplate celebrations. It appears the Nats get along swimmingly.
The Gatorade shower that Lastings Milledge gave Dukes is priceless.
Whatever was tied around his left ankle looks like a fashion tourniquet.

Of course this team is still shitty, but it’s nights like this that make us watch.

Congratulations, Elijah. Rejoice.

Beyond the Bleachers: Interview with ESPN’s Erin Andrews

Jamie Mottram — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:31:58 -0400

Since interviewing her last Thursday for Blog Show (video below), a lot of folks have asked, “What’s she like?” Well …

We met in the hotel lobby, made small talk, did the interview and took goofy photos all in just 30 minutes, so it’s kind of hard to say, though she was surprisingly gracious, jocular, and unguarded. And while she’s even prettier in person than on TV, it’s not in a sexpot kind of way. She seems more like a best girl friend than your best friend’s girl, so to speak.

She’s also the type who says “scandal” after spilling water on her iPhone, describes SI.com Hot Clicks editor Jimmy Traina as “so cute,” and uses jargon like “good get” when discussing her interview with Jon Lester.

All of these things are endearing, as she’s somewhat of a sensation, yet you’d never know it in talking unless you brought it up. Of course, it is brought up in the following interview that’s rather difficult to watch; if only because no one looks good when sharing a screen with Erin Andrews.

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The British Have Better Commercials

Jamie Mottram — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 11:43:42 -0400

Here is a UK Burger King commercial featuring borderline NSFW women doing soccer related activities such as hitting balls with their chesticles, squirting water on themselves, jumping on each other, etc. Oh, and do yourself a favor and hit the stop button at about the 40-second mark:

This is part of BK’s “Football Your Way” promotion, which gives out prizes and stuff. They also have vouchers—or as we would say, “coupons”—for some silly British foods like burgers on baguettes, spicy chicken royales, and something called a BK Bacon Butty…all of which sound delicious, even though I have no clue what a “butty” is.

After the jump, some more attractive female soccer players get wet:

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Washington Nationals Continue to Be Good at Getting Hurt

Jamie Mottram — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 21:21:15 -0400

Ryan Zimmerman has missed the Nats' last seven games with a shoulder injury. It was being described as “soreness,” but it seems to be a bit more serious than that.

Chico at the Journal is saying it’s a “small labral tear.” I have no clue what a “labral” is, but it sounds like one of those weird parts of the female reproductive system that still perplexes me. Chico also reminds us of the team’s overcrowded DL, which features many of the Nats' “star” players (Nick Johnson, Chad Cordero, Ronnie Belliard, that stupid, piece of shit, douchebag catcher who still hasn’t packed his shit, etc).

But hey, Father’s Day is coming up, so it’s a better time than ever to get your Mr. Walk-Off t-shirts...oh, screw it. Buy the Zorn Star. He might lose, but at least he won’t go on the DL.

Is Todd Collins Better than Jason Campbell?

Jamie Mottram — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:10:50 -0400

At a BBQ yesterday, my friend Brian asked the guys huddled around the grill who should start for the Skins in ‘08, Campbell or Collins?

None of us thought much of the question, but now that the Madden ‘09 ratings have been released, well, maybe it’s one worth asking. To quote Patriots-but-not-Tarvaris-?urn=nfl,85538" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outbound/article/sports.yahoo.com');">MJD on Shutdown Corner:

Jason Campbell gets disrespected with an 84, while Todd Collins, still listed as the second-string quarterback, gets an 85.

So I’ll address this rating the same way I addressed Brian’s query: by stating that the reason Collins excelled after Campbell struggled is that TC had been in Al Saunders’ complex offense since JC was coming out of high school.

Whereas Collins unleashed looping darts without even looking, Campbell not only had to look first but also think first. Now Saunders is out, Zorn Star is in, and JC is the team’s finest option for the future and present. Then I took a swig of Sierra Nevada Summerfest and flipped some burgers.

In other Madden news, the NFC East is the highest-rated division, and the Redskins are the lowest-rated team therein (88). Of course, the highest-rated NFC West team is Seattle (87), and I want their schedule.

And in even more Madden news, I haven’t even played the game since before Collins met Saunders, so I’m not sure what any of this means.

Chris Cooley's Wedding Looks Like Fun

Jamie Mottram — Wed, 28 May 2008 13:53:22 -0400

Captain Chaos gets awesome in all endeavors, so I wouldn’t expect any less from him on the dancefloor at his own wedding reception:

That would be Mr. Cooley shirtless—but not vest-less, no sir—as the party wound down late Friday night. And, you know, the same thing happened at my friend’s wedding, except the shirtless, vested dance sensation wasn’t the groom but one of the groomsmen, and he’s still ridiculed for it. Of course, he was also wearing his tie around his head, Rambo-style, which is a far more advanced technique.

Camden Yards is Conducive to Homers

Jamie Mottram — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:28:50 -0400

As glorious as the Mottram man's trip to Camden was on Monday, yesterday’s game may have outdone it (although I am a sucker for some great pitching and defense). It had a little bit of everything, including free baseball, which is the best you can hope for at a ballgame.

Most notable, however, were the combined nine home runs the Yanks and O’s hit. And keep an eye out for Luke Scott in the dugout, doing what appears to be the Frank the Tank machine-gun celebration.

The O’s are now 3-1 at home against the Yankees this season, and 16-7 overall in Camden. Home cookin’ sure is nice. That’s almost as impressive as the Rays, who are 20-9 in their piece-of-shit ballpark.

Also worth mentioning while we’re here: State Trooper Giambi is back.

Get the Jim Zorn 'Zorn Star' T-Shirt

Jamie Mottram — Wed, 28 May 2008 09:59:50 -0400

Despite rocky beginnings, we, as Skins fans, are moving ahead and pledging allegiance to new head coach Jim Zorn. Or kneeling before Zorn. Or becoming children of the Zorn.

What have you, for he is the Zorn Star, and we won’t even tarnish him with “Maroon & Black” anymore.

That’s right, on the heels of the smash hit that was Mr. Walk-Off, Mr. Irrelevant is partnering once again with 289 design to honor our new leader of men, and his propensity for looking right at home in adult film with the Zorn Star t-shirt; yours now for the low low price of $17.40*.

So buy one today—in Burgundy and Gold, of course—and receive it in time for Father’s Day and/or the second set of OTAs!

* Use coupon code “spreadshirt227″ for $5 off the asking price of $22.40.

Old School Cheerleaders: Dave Butz Was Probably into These Girls

Jamie Mottram — Tue, 27 May 2008 17:23:20 -0400

Looking at twin cheerleaders in NFL history is always good clean fun, and, while it’s not my standard fare (the Opposite Sex tag is generally reserved for Chris), just look at these Redskinettes circa 1979:

Cheer fashion hasn’t changed a bit in 30 years! Winged perms and wrestling onesies all the rage these days, yeah?

It’s a shame that white leather knee highs have fallen out though.

And while we’re on the subject of ex-Redskinettes Redskins cheerleaders, Chris and Christy Cooley got married on Friday. In getting to know him a bit recently, I’ve found Cooley to be a smart, funny, grounded, and thoughtful guy who’s deeply in love. So we wish the happy couple all the best and can’t wait for stories from the wedding.

Manny Ramirez Antics in Loss: He Still Thinks He's Funny

Jamie Mottram — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:14:25 -0400

Another day, another comeback victory for the Baltimore Orioles over the Boston Red Sox.

Here are the moving pictures, featuring Manny making possibly the most incredible catch in the history of Manny’s hilarious outfielding, followed by Ramirez high-fiving a Boston douche, then the team having a good laugh in the dugout. The last laugh, however, went to Jay Peyton and his grand slam.

In all fairness, I do enjoy Manny being himself and found the high-five pretty funny. Not as funny as the Baltimore-area Red Sox bandwagon coming out to Camden Yard in force, only to see its team blow two leads.

But still, funny.

So, About That Guy I Work With Who Made the Bobcats Video …

Jamie Mottram — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:17:00 -0400

Ten days ago, I told you about my co-worker, David Arnott, who entered a contest to be the Charlotte Bobcats Ultimate Fan. As you’ll recall, he directed, wrote and produced the shit out of the most awesome folk music video ever created about a sub-.500 Eastern Conference NBA team.

Arnott — along with at least half-a-dozen other Bobcats fans — submitted the video to the organization, who then used some surely objective guidelines to filter the submissions down to three finalists. If you saw Arnott’s video, you already knew he was destined to be one of the final three. The three videos were then shown on the jumbotron during the game on Friday night.

Fan applause decided the winner:

Yes, David was the overwhelming fan favorite. I can proudly say that I share office space with the Bobcats Ultimate Fan (who, it should be noted, is actually from San Francisco).

Oh, I nearly forgot the best part: his winnings. The grand prize was a trip to L.A. to watch Charlotte take on the Lakers. Or, if watching your favorite team get crushed by Kobe isn’t your thing, the winner could take the cash equivalent. Arnott took the paper, son, and he is now $5,000 richer than any of Deadspin’s commenters.

After the jump, an encore presentation of “The Charlotte Bobcats Song.”

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