Bleacher Report - Articles by Michael Dezso

Oklahoma Swooners: First Sam Bradford, Now Blake Griffin Goes Down with Injury

Michael Dezso — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:06:55 -0400

In a week where the Sam Bradford surgery and entry into the NFL draft was the lead story coming out of Norman, another recent grad is making headlines with a knee injury.

Normally an injury associated with shafting the Mafia, Blake Griffin broke his kneecap on a dunk against the New Orleans Hornets. Ironically, a couple of weeks ago, Griffin was asked about the “Clippers curse,” a curse that has claimed numerous careers and an entire franchise, best captured in this Bill Simmons article .

Griffin replied smiling, “"I did some research on my own and there's not enough evidence for me to believe.”

Clippers maybe, but what about the Swooners?

Bradford has followed a recent OU tradition of fragility established by Jason White, and has been knocked out twice this year by clean hits, first by BYU and then Texas. In fairness, going up against Texas is no way to “get healthy.” Ask Ryan Reynolds.

But this is just the latest in a trend for OU.

The only thing that could stop tight end Jermaine Gresham in 2009 was the knee injury days before the first kickoff. Defensive tackle DeMarcus Granger has been out since December, and is rumored to be seeking a medical redshirt.

Running Back DeMarco Murray can’t seem to complete a series without shuffling to the sideline for medical attention, which sounds a lot like Adrian Peterson or Marcus Dupree going back.

Wide Receiver Ryan Broyles is back from injury, but for how long? Ryan Reynolds is back and holding his breath.

Clearly there’s a Longhorn fan with a voodoo doll somewhere just giggling his arse off.

Or maybe they just don’t make Sooners like they used to, like the Selmon brothers, Tony Casillas, or Spencer Tillman.

Or maybe that’s why they call them Sooners, you’re going to wind up in the hospital Sooner or later.

Tennessee Titans Lead League in Quit (Satire)

Michael Dezso — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:50:05 -0400

After a historic 59-0 loss to the Patriots filled with dropped balls, missed tackles, turnovers, and penalties, Jeff Fisher had this to say about his team, “Sure, I mean, it looks bad out there, but believe me, it could be worse. What if it were five quarters long? What if they didn’t pull Brady?

"Heck, we’re lucky they have an end zone, Moss would still be running.”

The Tennessee fan base remained unconvinced by the coach’s “silver lining” post-game commentary. Everyone in Tennessee is confused by the first to worst turn.

“When you come into the year with high expectations, it’s really disappointing and shocking when you lose,"said Fisher. "We opened with a tough road 13-0 loss to the Super Bowl champion Steelers, and were really surprised by it. It wasn’t something we expected. Then we lost a high-scoring affair to the Texans, and then I forget who we lost to after that.

"But you know, just like anything else, it’s become a habit.”

Losing games by successively larger totals from three to seven to 20 to 22 and now 59, the Titans players clearly have regressed to the point where their grip on basic facts is escaping them.

“I don’t think anyone in this league is 59 points better than us,” said tight end Bo Scaife.

When the reporter referenced the game they had just played at Foxboro, Scaife just looked confused and disoriented.

Even the opposition was surprised by the lack of effort and execution.

“You never go into a game thinking it’s going to be like this,” commented Patriots coach Bill Belichick, “I guess it was just our day.”

Then reflecting a moment, he added, “In fairness, they were playing without Nick Harper, Cortlan Finnegan, not to mention any heart or ability.”

After suffering the insult of having the Patriots pull Brady, the Titans were then shredded by rookie quarterback Brian Hoyer, who completed nine of 11 passes for 54 yards and a score.

Of his professional debut, Hoyer had this to say, “I keep hearing about how the speed is different on the NFL level and there’s going to be a lot more defensive pressure, but I’m pretty sure I saw more elaborate coverage playing Northwestern.”

The only two Titans to break ranks with their team and actually play hard were Chris Johnson, who rushed for 128 yards of the 186 yards of total offense, and starting middle linebacker Keith Bulluck, who led the team with 14 tackles.

Bulluck, a team captain, said he should have seen this coming.

“I saw guys practicing their best ‘slip and fall’ and ‘half step’ all week. I just thought it was a new touchdown dance.”

When asked about Bulluck’s comments, fellow linebacker Maurice Simmons just shook his head and said, “I don’t know why Bulluck’s got to put that out there. I mean, he has no respect for the art form. I mean, it’s not easy to go out on national TV, know you’re going to be filmed and still half-step it.

"You got to make that look just right so that you lose just enough traction in the snow, let your arms glance off the running back just so. It takes effort. But not as much as making the tackle.”

Asked if there would be changes made after the bye week, Fisher did say they’d review the film, but anticipating what he’d find, just said, “What am I supposed to do? If I bench the quitters on this team, we’d have to forfeit.”

Superstitious fans have suggested that this has to do with the stomping on the “Terrible Towels” or the bad karma Oiler throwback jerseys. But more pragmatic fans are more concerned about the lone bright spot being turning the offense over to Vince Young, whose only completion was to a Patriot.

Texas vs. Oklahoma: who wins and why verdict is in! Texas, close.

Michael Dezso — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:38:03 -0400

While some of the luster has come off the game as injuries and losses have piled up, this is still a bloodlust feud that defines this season and future seasons through recruiting and reputation. Texas won 45-35 in a game that was closer than that score. No. 19 Oklahoma needs a win here to stay in the Top 25. No. 3 Texas needs this to keep them in the National Title picture.

As fans, we will be treated to two teams that will field two Heisman worthy quarterbacks, four legitimate NFL first rounders, one "big game" coach, one "Coach February" coach, a neutral site separated by 190 miles from both schools, split down the middle at the stadium and two teams that love to hate each other. Last week, Bradford made it back in time to shine against Baylor, and Texas rolled Colorado. This week, Texas-OU will be the marquee matchup in the heavy weight division.

Scouting the Teams

Quarterback

McCoy and Bradford are outstanding quarterbacks who have played well in the series. Both came into the year as Heisman candidates and seen that light dim a bit. Both are missing their tight ends. Both are highly accurate. McCoy is more mobile. Bradford, normally, has the better arm. is completing 70 percent plus of his passes. Bradford is completing around 60 percent. McCoy has a smoking hot girlfriend; Bradford a sore wing. McCoy Advantage: Texas

Running Back

DeMarco Murray can be a game changer and Chris Brown is an up and comer. Both should be productive, and will show some different looks with both Murray and Brown in the backfield or splitting Murray out wide. Texas fields three to four guys in the backfield because, as they say with quarterbacks, “they don’t have one.” Injuries have further depleted the Longhorns rushing attack. With some help from Cody Johnson, DJ Monroe, Trey Newton, and whoever else, the real run game for Texas will come from McCoy. Murray will continue to fly like Superman . Advantage: OU.

Wide Receivers/Tight Ends

Injuries to Gresham, Broyles and Irby , as well as every other TE for the Horns, have played heck with this position. Oklahoma has to find some answers and improve on the dropsies they showed against Baylor. Texas has the luxury of having a clutch receiver in Jordan Shipley, but Oklahoma knows that very well and will do their best to take him away. Buckner, Williams, and Kirkendoll will have to make plays for Texas to consistently move the ball. Advantage: Texas

Offensive Line

Much was made in the preseason about the Sooners graduating linemen and the need to shape up the young line to protect Bradford. We all know the history there. Now the question is, what will they do to hold up against a solid rush from Texas? Memo to Jarvis Jones: get your feet set quick. Texas meanwhile has the solid offensive line anchored by 6'6”, 310lb Ulatowski. Advantage: Texas.

Defensive Line

Gerald McCoy might be able to claim being the “Real McCoy” in this matchup as he will be a majorly disruptive force in the middle and can generate a pass rush from the DT spot. English and Beal will also being coming hard from the edge. Texas has gotten solid play from their line with Houston and Acho, and should have an advantage vs. the porous OU O-line. But the OU defensive line will be nasty. Advantage: OU

Line backers

Kindle is the standout that OU will be game planing for, but Texas has talent throughout their linebacking corps with Roderick Muckleroy, Keenan Robinson, and Jared Norton. Athletic and anonymous, the Red River Rivalry will make a fine coming out party for the OU LBs, and they will look good vs. the weak Texas rushing attack. Still, the difference maker at the position is Kindle. Kindle will find Bradford dramatically and add to his sack totals. Advantage: Texas.

Defensive Backs

Last year, Texas came in green, playing true freshman in their defensive backfield. This year, they’re supposedly “seasoned veterans.” Maybe. The OU secondary has a fleet footed group of ballhawks and will often be in zone/zone blitz looks. Shipley will not see many man looks. Advantage: even.

Special Teams

In big games, ST has a way of factoring in huge. Oklahoma will be playing with a lot of emotion, and emotion rules the special teams athletes. But Texas has run back kicks, blocked punts for scores, kicked long field goals and leads the nation in kickoff returns. This does not bode well for Oklahoma who have struggled in kick coverage. While it would be surprising to see Shipley run another one back as he did last year, Texas should have the advantage there. Advantage: Texas

Coaching

One of the most under reported aspects of “Big Game” Bob’s struggles has been the brain drain at the coaching spots. Oklahoma has lauched: Mike Leach at Texas Tech, Mike Stoops at Arizona, Bo Pelini at Nebraska, Mark Mangini at Kansas and probably someone I'm forgetting, like maybe the DC for LSU. All have been successful programs. Texas meanwhile has had a carousel at the defensive side of the ball giving the world: Dick Tomey at San Jose, Frank Robinson at Syracuse, Gene Chizik at Iowa State/Auburn and Art Briles at Houston/Baylor. This has stopped with coach-in-waiting Muschamp. Stoops might be a better coach than Brown. But there’s more than one coach on those teams, and a stable, veteran staff gives Texas the nod. Advantage: Texas

Intangibles

While the game isn’t “won on emotion,” we all know that it plays a big factor. With two losses, Oklahoma will come into the game needing a win to save their season. Oh, annnd avenge last year’s loss. Texas needs the win to maintain their “rightful” place in the top two, and get a chance to play in the National Title game this year. Will Bradford pull a "Willis Reed" ? Advantage: OU.

Prediction

The questions going into the year have yet to be answered for either team: can Texas find a running game; can the Sooners protect Bradford? Will OU's receiving corps hang onto the ball? Will Texas get off to a faster start?

The answer to all of these questions will continue to be no. No offensive line or receiving corps is going to get better going against Texas' speed. Colt McCoy and Cody Johnson will be the leading rushers, but won't be any better than advertised going against the strong OU front. the lack of run game will make it difficult to "start fast". For either team to win, they are going to have to overcome those weaknesses with their strengths.

I see Oklahoma coming out very fired up. One game can get their season back on track and it's a game that they have no trouble getting up for anyway. The biggest issue for Texas will be not starting slow, and having Oklahoma smell blood in the water. With veteran leadership in place, Texas should withstand the Sooner early burst.

After that, Texas' advantages in special teams and speed on defense should keep the pressure on Oklahoma. With bad field position and less quick strike ability due to injuries, the battle will come down to the Texas run defense and third down conversion. Texas matches up reasonable well with the linebackers and safeties, which should help get them off the field in those tight spots. This game will have a far more defensive tone compared with last year's game.

Oklahoma will put a blanket on Shipley, and there will have to be plays made by other Longhorns, Buckner, Kirkendoll or Williams. The run game should have enough in the tank to keep the Sooners honest, especially with more emphasis on quarterback keepers, which should neutralize the other McCoy's interior presence some.

McCoy and the defense will make a couple of more plays than their Oklahoma counterparts to edge the Sooners 31-24 in a game that will be close into the fourth quarter.

****

That's my take: what do you think, either below or click the poll?

Texas Tech QB a Game Time Decision: Foreign Exchange Student or Monkey?

Michael Dezso — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:29:26 -0400

The mad professor at Texas Tech is at it again. Heading into their road contest with the Nebraska Cornhuskers, Coach Leach is contemplating yet another move at quarterback.

Last week ,with Taylor Potts sidelined with a concussion, Coach Leach had to pull Steven “Sticks” Sheffield from the reserves. Sheffield had a huge statistical day, connecting on 33 of 41 passes for 490 yards and seven touchdowns in a 66-14 romp over Kansas State.

When asked about Sheffield's play, Leach’s first response was, “Who?”

When prompted, he followed up with, “You know, I really didn’t know much about the kid until Potts went down. I checked the roster to see who we had handy, and you know, it’s just ‘plug and play’ around here. I don’t really learn their names until they make a Heisman ballot, and even then it’s more about the spelling than the person.”

When asked about how special the margin of victory and number of touchdown passes were, Leach answered, “Sure, seven touchdowns seems like a lot for a young man, but we’ve done that this year already. Now if he threw eight or nine…”

More enlightening was speculation that the quarterback for Nebraska might not even be Potts or Sheffield, or even human.

“I really want to push the system. We don’t want to get caught up in the players themselves. They graduate. I’m thinking of giving the starting nod to Alexi Algorran, a Russian exchange student, or Canasta the circus chimp. I mean, if you’ve never played football ever, then throwing seven touchdowns would be amazing. If you weren’t even our species, routing a team 66-14 would be headline news. This is about an offensive system. Anyone can come here and put up numbers, anyone.”

For a coach that has pulled his starting kicker tout of the stands and gotten 4,000 yards out of such unremarkable talents as Kliff Kingsbury, BJ Symons, Sonny Cumbie, Cody Hodges, and Graham Harrell, anything does seem possible.

Michael Crabtree Refuses Texas Lottery Winnings, Says NY Lotto Winner Got More

Michael Dezso — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:59:01 -0400

In a move echoing his football decision, Michael Crabtree has refused his jackpot win of $16 million from his home state lottery on the grounds that the New York Lottery winner was paid $18 million.

He has since demanded that the Texas Lottery make up the difference, explaining, "they're the bigger state."

When the Texas Lottery explained that the jackpot is based on the contribution of the lottery players and not the geographic size of the state, he dismissed them and referred them to his agent.

This behavior has precedence in his personal life as well.

Dating since they met at a New York club during a NFL Draft Day after-party, Crabtree and FHM model Rochelle Daniels’ blissful relationship turned south while heading out on a vacation.

“We were at the airport about to fly out to Los Cabos. He went to the magazines to get something to read. He picked up the latest FHM and it had an article about Larry Fitzgerald dating a FHM model that rated higher than me in the 'Top 10 Hotties of the Month.' He showed me the magazine and just left me at the airport. He said he should be dating the No. 4 girl, not the No. 6 girl. He mumbled that there was no way he could enjoy himself with me at Cabo now.”

His dad said that while disappointed his son could not see the blessings in his life for what they were, he did see it coming.

“Michael stayed in the garage on a musty Army cot for an entire summer when his older brother got the top bunk. Heck, the reason why he’s in football at all is that basketball coach refused to play freshman on the varsity team. He didn’t even go to his high school graduation after he only won cum-laude honors. He never could understand the idea of waiting his turn or earning his spot.”

As for the Texas Lottery, they have given Crabtree the usual amount of time to claim his prize. They remain hopeful that he will see the wisdom that $16 million is a lot money.

Meanwhile, in his football life, Crabtree still remains unsigned, resolved to re-enter the 2010 draft, gambling that he will be chosen in the top 10.

We interviewed several coaches and found the likelihood of a top 10 selection to be slim.

"Greedy headcase receivers are a dime a dozen. He's not even that athletic. If I need a me-first possession receiver next year, I can get Reggie Williams off the street. Before Brandon Marshall gets finished with Denver, they'll be paying me to take him. Matt Jones, Charles Rogers, heck they're all faster than Crabtree. But I'll tell you this, I don't want him on my team," said one coach.

"I don't want him on my team either," said fantasy guru Chaz Umber.

"Everyone who has a fantasy team knows that it takes almost all wide receivers three years to be productive. Randy Moss was the last one. I know Randy Moss, and you Crabtree, are no Randy Moss."

With the likelihood of a top 10 selection remote, no doubt Michael Crabtree will have a whole bunch of new reasons to hold out in 2010.

2009 Fantasy Football Can't Miss Predictions

Michael Dezso — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:09:47 -0400

With almost half the teams trading coaches, an up-and-down draft and some marquee trades, this year should be as crazy as ever. After consulting with the Great Karnac, I am here to reveal tomorrow’s headlines today:

After sidelining Vince Young and destroying Favre’s legacy over the last two years, Madden will seek to diffuse the “curse” talk by placing two players on the cover: Larry Fitzgerald and Troy Polumalu.

By attempting to deny the evil it’s victim, the two players’ fates will become combined with an injury to one impacting the other. Fitzgerald will pull a groin in week six against Seattle, and Polumalu will limp to the sidelines vs the Browns.

Conversely, later against the Ravens, Polumalu will move up and go head to head vs. Ray Rice, giving Fitzgerald a concussion that will sit him down vs. the Titans.

Jessica Simpson’s weight will be the new indicator of Cowboys' success. Similar to the Groundhog Day's Punxsutawny Phil, if Jessica is wearing Daisy Dukes we’ll get four bad weeks of Romo. If she’s in her “mom” jeans, we’ll get four good weeks from Romo.

After not reaching a more lucrative deal with the Cardinals, Anquan Boldin will spend the rest of the year taking it out on other people: tipping 10 percent at restaurants, making change in the collection plate at church, and paying the lawn guy with licensed gear.

By Week Four, Fred Taylor will be nursing a high ankle sprain that runs all the way from his heel to his man purse, forcing him to miss ten games. Considers sponsorship offer from Vagisil.

Kerry Collins will be knocked out of the home stand against the Ravens, and Vince Young will come in to replace him.

Poorly.

The following week, Collins will be unable to return, and the Titans will have to go to their third-team quarterback as Young will be out with “hurt feelings." Young’s mom, when reached for commentary, will say that Tennessee should be nicer to Vince.

He’s a good boy and sensitive.

JaMarcus Russell will be big in 2009. Like, huge. Over 280 pounds.

I’m saying he’ll be fat.

The Vikings will reach 10 wins relying on their o-line and rushing attack over Brett Favre’s arm, which is good because the repaired arm is connected to his shoulder, which is connected to his neck, which is connected to his head, which has been making some really bad decisions.

Like coming back.

After whining his way out of Denver, Jay Cutler will openly push for Lovie Smith to cut all of the other quarterbacks on the roster and use a punter as the No. 2 QB.

A fan will catch the emotionally charged exchange on their iPhone: “How can you expect me to complete passes to these scrub receivers when I have Caleb Hanie and Brett Basanez breathing down my neck?! This is a hostile work environment Lovie! My feelings are hurt. Hurt, you hear me. Let’s do this and hug it out.”

Matty “Ice” will follow up last years’ Cool Hand Luke performance, but making the label turn blue on his Coors bottle.

Whooooo. That guy has ice water in his veins!

With his dazzling speed and athleticism, Darrius “Hey-Bey” will do something to take fantasy players’ breaths away, like going 1-for-8 for five yards receiving, 0 TDs and rushing for -1 yards.

Jim Schwartz, known for his defensive mind, will become far more defensive as the Lions’ head coach when he has to explain the 0-6 start.

Fantasy Football Is Adult Christmas and the Draft Is Like New Year's Eve

Michael Dezso — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:28:47 -0400

The new fantasy football magazines have been hitting the stores. And I have to fight the urge to start jumping up and down like Steve Martin in the Jerk, “The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!”

Like Christmas decorations, it seems to come earlier and earlier each year. But it fits because the fantasy draft has become my adult Christmas.

Adrian Peterson is going to be my Red Rider BB gun.

But better than Christmas, our league has turned the draft into a bachelor party, without all that annoying ruin-your-life wedding aftermath.

The great thing about fantasy football, similar to golf, is that this is one of the most incomprehensible things for women to understand. I mean, most girls can vaguely grasp the game, but rarely the game within the game; and never the game made up about the statistics of the game.

My girlfriend can remember every date, every birthday, anniversary, the number of times I’ve helped with the dishes and the most minute detail of an argument from the last five years, but she still has to be explained the significance of .406, why OJ isn’t just the guy from the Naked Gun movies, and why Bill Russell wears so much jewelry in his pictures.

Like most women, she just doesn’t get it. And yet, there’s something oddly appealing about her.

But in addition to the game being incomprehensible, the draft sounds so pathetic. A bunch of grown men standing around picking players based on their theoretical statistical output.

Harmless. So even the married guys can usually get a kitchen pass. And there’s no having to explain that you didn’t get a lap dance.

But in preparation, here’s your guide to fantasy success.

Drafting is about value. It’s not so much about which players you get, but what round you get them. And there’s ways to get what you want more often.

First, don’t do too much homework. If you’ve bought more than one magazine, you’re creating uncertainty. You want a draft board, not a panel discussion.

Second, when you get to the actual draft, establish yourself as the Alpha Dog early. Call the entire first round.

Loudly.

Shake your head and laugh to yourself each time someone makes the pick. Quote obscure position coaching changes, “Yeah, but they changed tight end coaches and that’ll impact his third down conversions as they expect to give Eli more max protect.”

Ride anyone who makes a bad pick, especially if they’re picking in front of you. Make the mistake beat them twice.

Third, be the ball. Let the other guy get distracted. In fact, distract him. Ask weird questions about the guy you want to slip right before they pick, “How is Peterson’s groin doing?”

“How do you think the shift from the 4-3 to the 3-4 is going to effect their sack totals?”

Make mythical trade offers. Make a rich offer “if a certain player is there.” Be tight-lipped. They’ll be wondering about which player you mean, and what they’ll be doing with all those picks, instead of what their team needs.

Then when it comes time to pick, say nevermind, he’s not there. Then they’ll feel like they’ve just missed it, and think they have a buncha losers to choose from.

Fourth, stay off your favorite team and out of your division. It’s not just the tendency for you to overvalue your favorite players. It makes the rooting weird. You start hoping the Pats win a shootout vs. pitch a shut-out. There’s times when you think, well, we lost, but Branch went for a buck and a quarter and a TD, so…Or worse, you lose a division game and are happy because Ronnie Brown went over the century mark and two scores.

Now there is a reason to pick FROM your team's division, which is you know the teams the best, and can effectively scout up to four teams. But if that's the case, I'm taking my guys. I'm a Longhorn and a Cowboys fan, I'm taking Roy Williams in the third. Still, got to be careful.

Fifth, do a mock draft and see where the talent drops off. Knowing where the breaks are can dictate which positions you should fill at certain points in the draft.

For example, there are about five elite wide receivers, and then after that, there are 15 that are the same. If you can get one of the five, you go for it. If you can’t, then waiting is a better strategy.

To me this is the key to how you answer the “what do I take in the first few rounds” question. At some point in the first round it will make more sense to not default to best available RB.

Finally, when all else fails, do exactly what the book tells you. My buddy James won the whole damn league by drafting that way, no trades, no major waiver wire additions, straight rank order.

Then the bastard doubles up and wins the NCAA bracket.

He doesn’t know the first damn thing about these teams.

I have a contract out on him.

But regardless how it all turns out this year, the fantasy draft is upon us.

Plan ahead. Make it memorable.

In our league, we’ve had guys participate from Iraq and Afghanistan. I mean, nothing says your country is totally screwed quite like your opposition being able to surf the Web and play fantasy football in their downtime.

Like, um, yeah, I guess we can take time out to overthrow your government, but let me see if the Vikings score first.

This year we’re holding the draft on a party boat in the middle of Lake Travis in Austin, Texas, and to quote Incredibad, “I’m the king of the world on a boat like Leo. If you’re on the shore, then you’re sure not me-oh!”

God I love football season.

And as always, I’d like to dedicate this post to Martellus Bennett of the Dallas Cowboys. “High and tight, Martellus. High and tight.”

Bully Policeman Powell Resigns under Scrutiny from Moats Family

Michael Dezso — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 22:09:12 -0400

What do you do when you are caught in a thirteen-minute video exercising thug-like behavior to a family in distress? You do want bullies always do when they get confronted: quit.

"With a heavy heart and great sadness, I resigned from the Dallas Police Department this morning," he said in a statement issued by his attorneys. "I made this decision in the hope that my resignation will allow the Dallas Police Department, my fellow officers, and the citizens of Dallas to better reflect on this experience, learn from the mistakes made, and move forward."

Hmm, not waiting to see how that internal investigation is going to go, huh? Wouldn’t be because it’s obvious how it’s all going to go. When the head of the department lauds the Moats family for their patience and restraint, you have to figure that it’s not going to go well.

Interesting, Officer Powell has yet to make his pubic apology to the family, and somehow hadn’t found the time over the week to stop by. Hmm, well, the good news is, Officer Powell hasn’t been the only one busy this week.

The district attorney’s office has been pulling files and checking the catalog of existing complaints.

"We saw the videotape on television, and it was an outrage," said Terri Moore, top assistant to Dallas County District Attorney Craig Watkins. "So we wanted, obviously, to see if there were any pending cases and to see his conduct."

Good to see that the district attorney’s office isn’t made up of the same quitters apparently filling the Dallas Police Department.

Be sure: they will make their case. And Powell’s flaccid attempt to deflect attention will fail as his eventual conviction of dereliction will return his smug head-shot to the news. Unfortunately, what Officer Powell stole, a dying woman’s comfort of love from her family, cannot be returned or replaced. No matter what happens in the courtroom, there will always be an imbalance between punishment and crime.

Being a police officer is difficult. The job is dangerous, and requires composure, situational awareness, anticipation, and empathy. In that way, addressing the unknown of the vehicle curtly and aggressively is an explainable, if unpleasant reality, of the situation. But as the video illustrates over a painful thirteen minutes, Officer Powell failed to recognize and be moved by what became very clear facts, involving a dying mother. “I’m almost finished” was his reply to another officer who explained that their “story” checked out.

Yes, Officer Powell, you are indeed almost finished. Almost.

For more on some of Officer Powell’s greatest hits, see this excellent story from the Dallas Morning News:

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/040209dnmetmoats.919caed3.html

Boras to Press: Alex Rodriguez's Steroid Use PR Stunt To Make Him Appear Human

Michael Dezso — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:34:55 -0500

With Sports Illustrated breaking the story today on Alex Rodriguez’s steroid use during the 2003 season, while he was with the Rangers, super agent Scott Boras attempted to get ahead of the story and recast Alex Rodriguez’s use as a failed attempt to be “just one of the guys.”

Since being taken number one by the Seattle Mariners, Alex Rodriguez has put up hall of fame numbers, but has failed to capture the hearts of his coaches, teammates or the American public. His business-like manner on the field, lack of rapport with the fans and robotic press conferences has done little to endear him to almost anyone.

Scott Boras, who has often interceded on behalf of his client’s lack of personality, said that this episode represented a small part of the overall plan to ingratiate himself with his teammates and fans.

“Look, let’s be honest, this is the steroids era. McGuire, Sosa, Palmeiro, Canseco, and heck, look at the Yankees alone: Pettitte, Giambi, Clemens and probably a half a dozen more over the last few years. Steroids are a part of baseball, part of being a Yankee. I told him that he can’t keep sipping Chardonnay at the keg party. Loosen up. Be one of the boys.

When asked about the negative impact of such a strategy, Boras answered, “Scoreboard, man. He’s got the contract. He put up even greater numbers. He looks good in pin stripes. I mean, a little stigma will be good for him. Show he’s human. I mean, hell I’ve been with the guy for ten years and I still not sure that I really know him.

Addressing a question about how this impacts Rodriguez’s eventual bid for the Hall of Fame, Boras said, “Hall of Fame? As long as Barry Bonds is the home-run king and not Hank Aaron, A-Rod’s story will be small change. What are they going to do, not let anyone in the Hall from ’88-’08? Doubtful. Alex will be fine.”

While it's doubtful that this strategy will improve his imagine and will no doubt add fuel to the "A-Fraud", "A-Roid" t-shirt manufacturers, Rodriguez can always console himself with his contract and another regular season HR streak.

Olympian Michael Phelps Loses Sponsor Kellogg's, Gains Rollie's Smoke Shop

Michael Dezso — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 15:44:42 -0500

Thursday was a rough day for the eight-time gold medal-winning Olympian Michael Phelps, who was suspended from competition for three months and lost Kellogg's as a sponsor. By Friday, however, news from the Phelps camp was picking up.

Having all but ruined his role model status with children after being photographed inhaling from a marijuana pipe, Phelps' marketing team explored the possibilities of a more adult, sophisticated audience.

Phelps' agent announced Friday morning they have picked up Rollie's Smoke Shop as a new sponsor.

"There's a real opportunity to exploit Michael Phelps' new 'bad boy' image," Phelps' agent said, explaining the move. "Sure, he disappointed millions of kids, but now he can be embraced by a completely new demographic. We’re looking into other deals with Manny’s Late Night drive-thru; Weed Magazine wants to do a cover. We’re in talks with Speedo on a hemp fabric swimsuit. We’re taking this in a whole new direction.”

We went to Piscataway, New Jersey to get the local reaction to the sponsorship announcement.

"I think he's a lot hotter now," Mary Di Nuzio said between gum smacks and cigarette draws. "He was too geeky before. Too clean. I get all of my papers, uh, Sunday Papers, from Rollie's. I think it's a great fit."

Another local, Randy Teague, added, "I mean, hell, look at the way he beat those people in Beijing. Man, they ought to make him compete high. Give someone else a chance, man. 420!"

Phelps' coach, Bob Bowman, took a more philosophic approach, saying that he believes Phelps will emerge from the experience a stronger swimmer and person.

With a lot less money.

Steelers So Strong Cardinals Cancel Super Bowl

Michael Dezso — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:29:44 -0500

After listening to the national pundits proclaim the Steelers the inevitable champions and seeing the Las Vegas line continue to climb, the Arizona Cardinals have decided to forego playing in the Super Bowl.

"Yeah, it's been over 40 something years since we played for a championship, aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves thinking we can beat a team like the Steelers?” said head coach Ken Whisenhunt.

Sentiments echoed by starting quarterback Kurt Warner, "Yeah, I've been on a Super Bowl winning team and been the MVP. I can tell you, we have zero chance. There’s really no point embarrassing ourselves by playing. I think we’d be better served just getting a jump on next year’s preparation."

Taking this under advisement, team owner Bill Bidwell has deferred to the Steelers, saying, "Hey, we have our championship. The N-F-C championship. It's been such a great year. I'd hate to ruin it."

But it should be noted not all of the Cardinals agree. Backup quarterback and former first round pick Matt Leinart could be heard in the background, "I want to play. You know, if Kurt doesn't want to play. I mean, I'd love to be in a real game and stuff. We wouldn't even have to win or anything."

From the Steelers training facility, Defense All Pro and Prell Shampoo spokes-model, Troy Polamalu when asked to comment had this to say, "I'm glad they went ahead and deferred. I mean, c'mon, you can't be serious with all of your 'that's why they play the game,' 'any given Sunday' talk. I mean, did you really think they were going to beat the Panthers? No. Did you really think they were going to beat the Eagles? No. They’ve taken it far enough.”

“It’s really cute how they’re trying and hey, they’ve even won some games. I’m proud of them,” added defensive stalwart Casey Hampton, “But you know, beating a team coached by a guy who calls plays from a Waffle House menu and a team who's quarterback created more turnovers than Pop'N Fresh, that's no great shakes. If they show up, we’ll play them I guess. But it won’t change the outcome.”

From his office, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin had only this to say, "with these eyes, I can see through your soul! Though your soul!”

Florida Offensive Player Injures Self on Coin Toss in BCS Championship Game

Michael Dezso — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 13:20:45 -0500

In what could only be described as a prophetic moment for a game that would see three offensive starters go down, Florida wide receiver and team co-captain Purvis Hardnail pulled a hamstring during the opening coin toss, as he glinted awkwardly as the coin flipped into the air.

Hardnail was joined on the trainer’s table by Chris Rainey, who was carted off in the first half. Then Louis Murphy, who went into the game nursing a left knee injury, hurt his right leg making a sidelines grab. Percy Harvin limped to the sidelines for a spell after Sooner Nic Collins yanked him by his ankles. Harvin was able to return.

“Football is a rough sport,” Hardnail said to reporters after the game. “To go down that way, after the year we’ve had, was disappointing.”

Stoops declined to speculate on the impact of the injury on the coin toss, which the Sooners won.

It would be their only victory of the night. Despite being short-handed much of the game, Florida routed Oklahoma, 24-14.

Bedazzled: Longhorns Hoist Third Grader's Handmade Trophy with Fiesta Bowl Win

Michael Dezso — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 13:57:10 -0500

In the season that saw Texas knock off arch-rival, No. 1 Oklahoma, ranked Missouri, Oklahoma State and now Ohio State, the highlight of the 12 win season was having the chance to hoist the handmade Fiesta Bowl trophy.

Not to be outdone by the BCS Championship trophy which is a spectacular, hand-blown Waterford crystal football, the Fiesta President Dick Wood turned to the most creative person he could think of to jazz up the Fiesta Bowl trophy and set it apart: Rebecca Ann Wood, his third-grade daughter.

When interviewed about the trophy President Wood had this to say, “While some have implied that this decision was an act of nepotism and desperation, I would say that you only have to look at her work in macaroni to see the talent level. I told her, 'just run with it'.” His daughter added simply, “What does nepotism mean?"

Bringing his lips to kiss the trophy on stage, an emotional Colt McCoy had this to say, “Getting to hold this trophy makes coming in second in the Heisman and losing a chance to play in the title game because a freshman couldn’t catch a lob all worth it.”

DeLoss Dodds, Texas longstanding athletic director, said that the Fiesta Bowl trophy will be a prized addition, placed in a position of honor, past the ’87 Bluebonnet Bowl trophy and next to the 1988 “participant” ribbon from the NCAA Collegiate games.

Rooting For Anarchy (and The Longhorns) at The Fiesta Bowl

Michael Dezso — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 14:52:06 -0500

With USC's convincing win over Penn State and Utah's demolition of SEC darling Alabama, we are on the precipice of a perfect storm that could hasten the end of the BS with the BCS. We just need a couple more dominoes to fall.

As a fan, most of the year, I'm locked onto my team, largely concerned about our conference and take a passing interest in the national scene. Sure, I catch Sportscenter highlights and the box score of the big games, but my perspective is largely based on history of the school, expectations for the year and the box score. I watched Texas lose to Tech, and could meaningfully evaluate that loss (skittish first half doomed team).

But I didn't watch Oregon State beat USC. I didn't watch Ole Miss somehow beat Florida in the Swamp. I would probably guess that Jacquizz Rogers' legs and Jevan Snead's arm had something to do with it. Or maybe both favorites came in flat. Or something equally hypothetical. I wouldn't know anything really.

Is it any different for the voters in those polls influence the BCS? Am I to believe that coaches, mid-season, are supposed to really be better evaluators of SC when they coach in the Big East or ACC? Am I supposed to believe that AP journalists who are predominantly silo-ed in their region and conference are supposed to be more knowledgeable?

The fact is, they couldn't possibly be. A fan has far more opportunity with the right cable package to see more game film (of the national scene) than a coach prepping for the next week or a journalist that has to evaluate the ongoing results of the Mountain West conference.

Bowl season changes that myopic view dramatically. The games are staggered. Coaches' schedules are cleared. Journalists are dispatched to multiple venues across multiple conferences. And fans, journalists and coaches alike are treated to one game after another, with a steady progression towards the "National Championship."

But our perceptions get calibrated, improved as we see first hand USC's statistical defense give a real world whipping to Penn State, Texas Tech's speculatively weak defense get worked or Utah play anyone, let alone Bama.

Now add Texas thumping Ohio State and OU winning ugly vs. Florida. You would have a USC team that more than lived up to the West Coast hype. You would have a Utah team that beat four ranked opponents and physically dominated both lines of scrimmage to roll Tide. You would have a Texas team that did everything it could after getting jobbed by it's own conference's BCS tie-breaker, and the team they beat straight up, would be the BCS endorsee.

This would be far more damaging to the BCS than the usual one team left out reality that normally precedes the bowl season. No, this would be four teams with a legitimate claim to the top spot after the big game. This could create enough controversy to split the polls and crown multiple champions. This is the kind of result that will ratchet up the pressure from coaches and alumni to get school presidents to rework the system. Hello Auburn, SC, Texas, Utah, Boise State, and likely every other nationally contending school.

So when you are watching the Fiesta Bowl, root for anarchy, root for chaos, root Texas. When you are watching the BCS title game, root for flat performances, ugly winning and the catastrophic failure of the BCS.

Like most flawed systems, things have to get worse before they will get better.