Bleacher Report - Articles by Jev

The WWE Royal Rumble 2010: Who Will Win? Guess Who Style

Jev — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 09:41:28 -0500

The road to WrestleMania is slowly working it's way round again, with the start barely over the horizon in the form of the Royal Rumble. Soon enough, the big question will be at the forefront of everyone's mind again; who is going to win? The Rumble may seem a little too distant to start contemplating such matters, but as current efforts seem solely focussed on deciphering the turbulent world title scene and other goings-on across the world of the WWE, I thought I would give some direction to the chaos by offering up some candidates to take the Royal Rumble crown. I thought that for a bit of fun I would attempt to find these wrestlers using the method applied in the game “Guess Who.” I am going to attempt to systematically cut the field of potential winners down by making observations about past Rumble winners; establish trends from past winners, and then eliminate anyone who doesn’t fall into that category. Then by the end, I should have a decent pool of names which should hopefully contain the winner of the next Rumble. Every year we see many predictions as to who the winner will be. I may offer my personal choice at the end, but the main purpose of this is for me to rationalise the chances of certain Superstars winning, and allow that information to stew in your brain and to let you make your own decision. Ultimately, we may all reach a consensus as to who should win, but however obvious a candidate may seem, the outcome could be utterly different. Personally, I like it that way, so long as it is done correctly.

Begin Slideshow

Court Is in Session! Why Khali Is the Worst Wrestler in the WWE Today (CvC)

Jev — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:43:47 -0400

For those unaware of this Creature vs. Creature, the topic in on "the worst wrestler in the WWE toady," organised by Svyato Rovenchuk.

My entry, as is apparent from the title, is on The Great Khali. If you still want to get involved with the CvC, just ask Svyato, and he'll let you know which wrestlers are already taken.

Anyway, on to my article...

A packed courtroom is in attendance to witness the trial of The Great Khali, charged with being the worst wrestler currently in the WWE. Many of his World Wrestling Entertainment colleagues are in attendance, and most seem noticeably tense.

After several minutes of uneasy conversation between those in attendance, it becomes clear that the trial will soon be underway, as a bailiff makes his way to the head of the courtroom to address everyone congregated. The room falls silent, and he begins proceedings.

“Please rise,” opens the bailiff. “Now presiding, the honourable judge...erm...oh, it’s you! Yes, you, the reader, are the judge of this case. Only you can decide the fate of The Great Khali based on the evidence you will be presented with here today. Everyone may be seated.”

After a brief pause, the bailiff recomposes himself and continues. “This court will come to order. Please call Dalip Singh Rana, 'The Great Khali,' to the courtroom.”

Khali enters the room, ducking through the door. A bevy of whispers and remarks emanate from the gallery, which notably disturbs Khali, who must feel the whole courtroom is against him.

Khali takes his position and is addressed by the bailiff. “Mr. Rana, you are before this court today faced with the charge of being the worst wrestler currently in the WWE. Your defence lawyer has already expressed your decision to plead not guilty. Can you verify that that is true?” Khali simply nods in agreement.

“For the record, please note that Mr. Rana expressed a yes gesture through a nod. Speaking of your defence lawyer, where is he?”

Vince McMahon bursts through the rear doors of the courtroom and begins a hurried strut to the front. “Sorry I’m late,” he bellows as he performs his trademark walk, “just got through firing a few more of my valued employees. I fancied buying a new private jet, and that money’s got to come from somewhere. What did I miss?”

“Mr. McMahon, would you be so kind to take your seat?” Vince follows the bailiff’s instructions. “I was just verifying with the defendant that his plea is not guilty.”

“Of course it’s not guilty,” says Vince, “a man of that size must be a good wrestler, a 'Great' wrestler in fact.” McMahon chuckles in awe of his well-timed pun; no one else seems amused.

The bailiff continues the proceedings. “I find it a little odd that you, Mr. McMahon, wish to defend your own employee, but nevertheless. With the charges stated, can the prosecution begin its case?” A mysterious figure begins to rise from his seat. The prosecution lawyer Jev Thorpe takes centre stage, and begins his opening statement.

“Ladies and Gentlemen of Bleacher Report, I speak to you today as a proud wrestling fan. A fan who is tired of seeing good-for-nothing excuses of wrestlers on his TV screen, when less talented superstars are withering away beneath them.

"The Great Khali is the epitome of all that is wrong with the WWE, a case I hope to more than prove to you today.

"When one considers the qualities that make a wrestler great, these usual suspects typically emerge: athleticism, microphone skills, wrestling acumen, the ability to work a crowd, a solid move set, and charisma.

"There are many other characteristics that could be associated with great wrestlers, but nigh on all of them will not be possessed by the defendant, The Great Khali.

"Vince McMahon has been seemingly high on large wrestlers for a while, a trait that far too depressingly has seen the demise of any form of cruiserweight/lightweight division in the WWE.”

Vince sits uncomfortably in his seat, aware that the allegations brought against his name are true. He tries to shrug off the remark with a carefree smile, but Jev knows he has hit his target with his observation.

“Big men will always be a part of the pro wrestling equation,” Jev continues, “but size alone should not be sufficient in maintaining a spot amongst the elite in the WWE.

"This is why The Great Khali is such a bad wrestler; his only advantage is his size.

"Nobody can doubt that The Great Khali has colossal strength and power, but that only becomes useful when you have other attributes to back it up."

"One thing that really ticks me off about Khali is his complete lack of speed. Now, you may think that a priori a big wrestler will be slower, and I agree, they should be. Key word in that sentence: slower, not out and out slow.

"To maintain an air of kayfabe, and to uphold the illusions of wrestling, a wrestler, not unlike a magician, needs slight of hand; they must make some moves at a particular speed or in a particular way as not to be seen by the audience.

"I say this as it is quite common knowledge that wrestlers try not to hit each other with full force, as they usual slow their punches or kicks at they end. They also put their hands in the way of others’ punches, to give the illusion that they have been hit, when in fact they probably haven’t.

"Khali is so cumbersome and sluggish that even the most simple of blocks or punches can be picked up a mile off as faked.

"In a similar way this links in with another facet of Khali’s wrestling ability that really aggravates me. Regardless of any wrestler’s offensive capability, one cardinal sin that must never be broken is not selling someone else’s moves. Khali not only sells other peoples’ moves badly, but due to his size and lack of dexterity, he limits other peoples move sets almost to the point of non existence.

"In doing so, he not only makes matches really boring as traffic is usually one way, but he makes himself look weak; as if he is due to lose, he can be reduced to helplessness with meagre kicks and punches to inconsequential areas of his body, then finished off with one decent move.

"From a wrestling standpoint alone, he just isn’t fun to watch.

"In terms of building up a good match, again he struggles.

"Many wrestlers have an ability to tell a story in the ring, as subtle nuances they embed into their performance build into intricate and engaging conflicts. Khali lacks any subtlety or inventiveness. Any story he tries to tell in the ring reads like the TV guide.

"You may feel that this problem is extenuated by the fact that Khali never speaks in English on WWE programming, and it probably is. This brings me to my first witness. Ranjin Singh, please take the witness stand.”

Ranjin gets up out of his seat and becomes the focal point of everyone in attendance. They know that he has an uphill battle if he wants to bring any credit to Khali’s case.

“Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?”

“I swear to tell the truth.” Ranjin sits and waits questioning.

Jev begins his examination of the witness. “Mr. Singh, could you please explain to the court your relationship with Khali.”

“Well, I guess you could call me his mouthpiece.”

“Mr. Singh, could you please explain to the court what you mean by 'mouthpiece?'”

“Well, it’s a wrestling term, and it means that I do all of his talking for him in the WWE. You know, like when we cut promos for him.”

Jev Thorpe produces a sly smile, and turns to the gallery. “Now, this may come as a bit of a shock to some of you, but The Great Khali can actually speak English.” A lady a few rows back feints at the news, and several gasps are let out by others. “Can you confirm this fact Mr. Singh?”

“Yes, that is true.” Ranjin admits.

“So, please,” probes Thorpe, “tell the court why it is so necessary for you to speak on behalf of someone who can speak for himself?”

Ranjin takes a breath, and tries to avoid eye contact with McMahon or Khali. “This kind of thing happens all the time in wrestling,” protests Ranjin, “I only speak on his behalf as Mr. McMahon feels that he doesn’t have enough charisma to speak for himself.”

Jev Thorpe glances around, and then says “Damning evidence indeed. Your witness Mr. McMahon.”

McMahon, clearly embarrassed, simply says “No further questions.”

“Then I would like to take this opportunity to produce some video evidence to support the prosecution.” Says Thorpe. “Exhibit A will show Khali’s inability to have any recognisable wrestling moves done to him. Sure he takes a few hits, but nothing really fitting of a wrestling match.

"The worst thing about this piece of evidence is that his opponent is Kane. Now you would think that if any wrestler were to stand a chance of performing a move on Khali it would be Kane. But no, he continues to keep his matches one sided and dull.

"Exhibit B shows a triple threat between Khali, Rey Mysterio, and Batista. Now, Batista and Mysterio have quite differing styles, so surely one of them will work well with Khali. Not really. Khali looks like a third wheel in this match, even with someone like Batista involved, whose wrestling ability can be questioned at times.

"Note as well how just a couple of minutes into the match, Khali takes his turn to be “sidelined” in the triple threat. Usually when there is a match like this, it is only possible to have two guys fighting at once.

"So, now and again, one of the wrestlers is taken out of the match by a move that should keep them down for a while. As no-one can really do anything to Khali, the best they can come up with is a splash by Rey. Weak, if you ask me, but what else are they going to do, suplex him?

"Could Jeff Hardy perhaps coax a performance out of Khali? Well Exhibit C suggests not. This wasn’t a very high profile match, but wrestlers should perform whatever the occasion, so it’s validity as evidence again Khali is warranted.

"Nothing about this match really excites me, but then nor do most of Khali’s other performances.

"Onto exhibit D...” the bailiff butts in, “Mr Thorpe, you’re making everyone feel sick. Please, no more videos.”

“OK, but it remains to be said, though, that regardless of any video evidence I can show you, you will all know how bad of a wrestler this man is if you have ever watched him.” Jev turns off the TV monitor in the courtroom, and faces the crowd.

“I have given you undeniable reasons why The Great Khali is a bad wrestler, but I have not yet mentioned why he was good.” The attending masses look puzzled, but Thorpe looks confident, and continues.

“At the beginning of his WWE career, there was obviously something credible about what Khali did in the ring. Despite all of his short-comings, Khali’s dominant presence and unstoppable physique were something to be revered.

"It has been proven many times in the past that you don’t need to be the best in the ring to be a good superstar, so long as you have another defining factor.

"Like many other big men Khali had the 'unstoppable monster' gimmick going for him. The only problem is, when he started to get a few losses, it becomes apparent that he could be beaten. The veil of dominance eventually gets lifted, and we are left with an empty husk of a wrestler.

The same thing happened to people like Umaga, and more recently Vladimir Kozlov, whose careers both went downhill as soon as they took a few losses.

With that being said, the prosecution rests its case. I believe I have without a doubt proved that there is nothing Great about Khali.” Jev takes his seat. Mr. McMahon realises that he now must argue in the favour of The Great Khali. He gets up and begins speaking.

“Well, why don’t I start by saying why I hired Khali in the first place? Look at him he’s HUGE!” McMahon looks around for support, and then comes to the realisation that there is no point even trying.

“Screw it, he’s right. I’m sorry Khali, but I never noticed how bad you are until it was literally smacked in my face. I’m not representing you anymore, and on top of that, Khali, you’re FIRED!”

Vince storms out the courtroom, and there is now nothing left to do but for the bailiff to call a halt to proceedings.

The case is now in your hands. How do you find the defendant: guilty or not guilty?

The WWE's Tag Team Division Is Not Just Surviving, It's Thriving

Jev — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 06:51:48 -0400

Cast your mind back to before WrestleMania XXV.

Cast your mind back to a tag team division riddled with inadequacy.

Cast your mind back to a tag team division on the brink of extinction due to depleted numbers from recent cuts, barely making it onto our screens through sheer embarrassment.

Wasn’t it dull?

Wasn’t it repetitive?

Wasn’t it upsetting?

The short fallings of this division were no secret to anyone, and with good reason. Relatively inexperienced teams were forced to compete with each other on too regular of a basis, and the whole experience grew stale faster than an old piece of bread.

It frankly disgusted us all, and we weren’t afraid to voice our opinion on the matter.

What was apparent though was that the failure of the tag team division did not go unnoticed by the WWE, and they took noticeable steps to counteract the problem.

A problem I believe has now not only been rectified, but has taken on a whole new positive existence.

The first key change came at WrestleMania, when the tag titles were unified.

Having only a handful of tag teams compete for two titles in the old manner just extenuated the problems already faced by the division, and it was almost unanimous that the subsequent unification was the best step forward.

Reducing the prizes on offer allowed teams to develop rivalries that not only weren’t overused, but could be built on with a respectable level of dignity and patience.

In the current storylines we have DX, two storied veterans of the ring, brewing an exciting rivalry with Legacy’s young bucks Rhodes and DiBiase.

A year or so ago one of these teams would almost certainly have held one of the two tag team titles, which frankly would have marred the animosity and hostility currently boiling over between the two.

Titles can offer a reasonable incentive for a feud, but when the pool of competitors is only a fraction of what it could be, I feel they just get in the way.

By now, either of these teams would have been forced to yield their No.1 contender rights for the title to another duo, and the whole thing would have been for nothing.

Another half-baked plot would be introduced, and we would be back to square one.

By simply allowing this hatred of one another to take prominence not only justifies their confrontations in my eyes, but adds excitement and flair to an already promising conflict.

The same can be said of Cryme Tyme’s and The Hart Dynasty’s feud; involvement of the tag team titles would only confuse things, and make outcomes more predictable.

The other key change to the division came when Edge and Chris Jericho thrusted their way onto the tag team scene, and set a recent precedent for others to follow suit by pairing off in this way.

We now have teams like Jericho and The Big Show, Batista and Rey Mysterio, Mark Henry and MVP, DX as I mentioned earlier, and to a lesser extent Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson, who have brought a whole new blend of skills, attitudes, and fighting styles to the tag team table.

Now, I would like to make it known that I have never been the biggest advocate of singles competitors forming unusual tag teams.

The chemistry you feel between long standing alliances formed by years of collaborating cannot easily be replicated, and there is often no substitute for it.

Obscure or untested pairings often don’t work, and result in teams that are not a team per se, merely the union of two singles wrestlers.

However, not only do I think the mixes we have currently are working, but they benefit the WWE in a whole other manner.

The WWE powers-that-be value their big stars air time so much, that they will put them in any old feud or situation to get them on the television, often with dire consequences.

Does anyone remember the John Cena/Big Show feud not so long ago?

The quintessential bore-fest I am getting at.

They feel that they need to get these guys about, and it had been suffocating the other talent further down the roster.

With stars like Jericho, Big Show, MVP, Rey Mysterio, Batista, Mark Henry, and others, being utilized in the tag team division, it creates space for people like The Miz, Morrison, Dolph Ziggler, and Jack Swagger to name a few, to really get their teeth stuck into this industry and show us what they can do.

You may argue that the tag teams that have been fabricated are too ad lib, and should have been thought more carefully about, but the proof is in the pudding, and we are witnessing more exciting tag matches than at any point in recent history that I can remember.

The most important change, though, is how frequently tag team matches take prominence on the WWE’s schedule.

They clearly find it important to showcase their ability to work good tag team feuds, now they have the right tools to do so, and I for one am happy to sit back and receive what they are offering.

There will always be the critics of the WWE, specifically of the tag division given its recent bad track record, but when the matches are enjoyable can you really complain?

The statement that “prestige is being brought back to the WWE’s tag team division” is often muttered, but I disagree.

It is back.

Chris Jericho and The Big Show have been given one of the most impressive tag team runs in recent history. Not only due to the length of time they have held them, but to the manner in which they regularly defend them.

All the steps the WWE took that I discussed allowed this to happen, as they are not pressured into constantly defending the title against the same people, which would eventually force a title change, and because they and other tag teams and major superstars have been given their roaming space due to the formation of new teams.

They are truely doing the division proud, along with the many other teams regularly putting on great matches.

You may disagree, but think of it this way:

We will never, EVER, be reduced to watching Trevor and Murdoch attempt to prop up the WWE's tag team division again.

For that we can be thankful.

Handing Over My Competition

Jev — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 07:25:22 -0400

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been around B/R for quite a while, and you would be right, as frankly I just haven't had the time for it.

Many of you will have experienced similar periods in time where writing a blog about wrestling just has to take a back seat in your life, and I am smack bang in the middle of one.

With that being said, the reason for writing this article is simply that I want to hand over my concept for a prediction competition to somebody who has a little more time for this place.

I have never held the patent on prediction competitions here, but there is certain etiquette by which you don’t rip off other people’s ideas.

So this is just a way for me to allow someone else to do what hopefully has brought quite a few people a bit of fun, and make sure I get the right person for the job.

It is quite time-consuming to manage all the predictions given by people, and I just can’t do it justice anymore. So, I am open to requests from the Wrestling Section populace to take it on.

You may have noticed that I didn’t post the results for SummerSlam, for which I apologise, and I think the time to do so has passed.

I will however say that the winner was John Azam Azam, who got literally everything right. Big congratulations must go to him.

I didn’t have the time to get round to posting a competition for Breaking Point either, which tipped the scales for me into deciding this was the best thing to do.

If you want to take on this responsibility just leave a comment below, and I will pick someone relatively soon, and run them through what they will need to do.

I will hopefully still have time for this place in some capacity, as I have enjoyed some good conversations with many of you at B/R, but for now I have to give other pursuits my attention.

WWE SummerSlam 2009 Prediction Competition

Jev — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 08:12:31 -0400

SummerSlam is certainly gearing up to be one of the hottest parties of the summer.

With matches arranged such as Jeff Hardy versus CM Punk in TLC, the recently reformed DX taking on Legacy, and Randy Orton defending his WWE crown against John Cena, there is little room to be disappointed.

With Sunday drawing ever closer, it must be time again for all you brave Bleacher Creatures in the Wrestling Section to get you predictions in, in a bid to be dubbed the most accurate soothsayer in these parts.

For anyone who doesn’t know how this works, it’s simple; make you picks for the matches on Sunday as listed below, and leave them in the form of a stand alone comment in the comments section.

To view all the rules and records of my competitions, please follow this link.

WWE pay-per-views have been anything but predictable as of late, so you will really need to get your thinking caps on to carve a win out of the second biggest event in the calendar.

Let’s get to the matches:

WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena – (3)

World Heavyweight Championship (TLC): Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk – (3)

D-Generation X vs. Legacy – (3)

Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler – (2)

ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs. William Regal – (2)

Unified Tag Team Championship: Chris Jericho and The Big Show (c) vs. Cryme Tyme – (2)

The Great Khali vs. Kane – (1)

MVP vs. Jack Swagger – (1)

Nobody has managed to get them all right yet, and with 17 points up for grabs it will be no easy feat this time.

I don’t think there will be any more matches announced between now and Sunday, but if there are I will do my best to contact anyone who has already taken part, via their bulletin board, so they can make a pick for that match.

Please don’t hesitate to take part, my policy has always been the more the merrier.

Have fun, and good luck!

Have Legacy Finally Learned a Lesson from the Failure of La Familia?

Jev — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:52:45 -0400

We are all now very familiar with the stable Legacy which is led by WWE Champion, Randy Orton.

For the past few months, they have been asserting their dominance where they feel necessary, usually to the aid of Orton.

But through these actions, the development of both Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase has been stunted. Their time has been focused far too primarily on Orton’s success and not enough on their own.

Understandably, members of a group like Legacy must aid each others endeavors, but it can become too biased.

Their association with Orton can only take them so far; eventually they must carve their own niche within the WWE whether this is alone or as a team.

With this in mind, I recently began thinking about the similarities between the not-so-recently defunct stable La Familia and the members of Legacy. The question is whether Legacy could gain any knowledge from their experiences.

The two stables are very similar in terms of structure and purpose, and I believe there are some conclusions that can be drawn.

Regardless of the success of Legacy, Randy Orton will have a place in the WWE in the future.

I don’t think that is even debatable.

The same could have been said of Edge with La Familia.

Vickie and Chavo Guerrero, although part of Edge’s faction, are not of relevance to what I am discussing currently.

The individuals I am concerned about analyzing in this instance are Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder along with Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase.

Throughout their tenure with Edge, the duo of Curt and Zack primarily undertook a role currently similar to that of Cody and Ted; aiding the leader of their group.

Although they achieved success in the tag division by winning gold, this was by no means reflective of their success in the business as a whole.

Zack and Curt wrestled often, usually as partners to Edge, but were never really given license to shine.

Their matches and performances were always squashes, and we grew uninterested in their presence as a result.

Judging by the current situation of Zack and Curt, I would say that their involvement alone in La Familia was not enough to advance their status. If anything they have taken steps backwards.

Gaining popularity by association was unmistakably not enough in this instance.

Where exactly did they go wrong?

As I mentioned, they did win tag team gold, and they did wrestle regularly. What really set them back was their inability to give us something memorable and distinguishable.

Can anyone honestly say they remember a match the pair of them were in? Or even which one is which for that matter?

They truly were forgettable.

What Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase finally seem to be doing, which should see them steer clear of this pitfall (if they weren’t clear already), is giving us something to remember.

A feud with DX.

I am by no means suggesting that this is the move that will fan the flames of their careers, but an endeavor disassociated with Orton will help build their identities as wrestlers. It will also help us identify them as performers in their own right.

I have to admit that this comparison does have its limitations, as comparing Cody and Ted with Zack and Curt is a little unfair.

The Legacy boys were always going to have a leg up in the WWE due to their lineage. This is an advantage the La Familia lackeys could only wish for.

Their abilities as wrestling performers are not dissimilar in my opinion, but their names automatically place them in different categories.

The fact they gained success as Priceless one-ups them again on Curt and Zack.

But regardless of their differences or similarities, they are/were both prone to the dangers of this circumstance.

A danger Cody and Ted are hopefully beginning to clear.

The foremost point I am trying to get across is that this is a step in the right direction for Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. A step that is clearly necessary when considering the fate of their La Familia counterparts.

I don’t, however, wish to see them completely detached from Randy. There is still some mileage left in Legacy, but gaining success on their own is also important.

Why they have not been given the tag team gold while part of Legacy is still beyond me.

I can only hope that this DX feud is firstly a success, and secondly not Cody and Ted’s last.

I have a feeling they have plenty to offer, and it would be a huge disappointment to see them reduced to chanting “woo woo woo” on ECW in years to come.

Chyna is the Greatest Female Champion in Wrestling History (CvC)

Jev — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 06:19:43 -0400

I knew as soon as I heard the topic of this Creature versus Creature who I wanted to get my hands on, and I was lucky enough to do so.

Chyna—the ninth wonder of the world.

Okay, perhaps that title is a little cheesy, but the magnitude of its implications is not too distant from the truth from a female wrestling standpoint.

Chyna was something never witnessed before, something unique.

There may have been powerful women in the wrestling spotlight before her, but the scale of the audience that Chyna was being exposed to during her time in the WWF was unprecedented for such a physically imposing woman.

She truly was a sight to behold—a spectacle.

Joanie Laurer (her real name) began her career as a professional wrestler under the instruction of Killer Kowalski, using the ring name Joanie Lee.

Killer was known for his large size, but also his ability to be quick in the ring. I believe these are attributes he imparted onto Chyna, who was the perfect candidate to receive them.

She soon learned all the basic moves necessary to perform in the ring, as well as some more technical ones like the power bomb.

It was clear that her strength and size was no hindrance to her athleticism and dexterity, as she could make moves like the hurricanrana and handspring back elbow look like they were being performed by a much more petite person.

Even in this early stage of her career she pushed the boundaries of inter-gender wrestling, a facet that would become predominant throughout her career, by debuting against a man dressed as a woman.

Laurer was always naturally large, and from an early age sought release from her turbulent home in the gym; either lifting weights, or doing aerobics.

This provided her with a physique that would make facing men believable, albeit at the expense of her femininity, and her opponents’ masculinity.

Her appearance was something that had always made Chyna stand out. She was not what you would call eye-candy, but for that reason she had a peculiar lure to her.

I can only liken her to a circus side-show, or a gross cut your friend has on his arm; you don’t really want to look, but you are mesmerized and compelled to watch.

After a few years of performing well on the independent circuit, and winning the PGWA Rookie of the Year award, Laurer made connections with the WWF through Triple H and Shawn Michaels.

Vince McMahon was hesitant at first about bringing Chyna aboard, especially in respect to letting her compete with men.

Vince initially thought that having a woman competing again men would not be believable, a view Joanie was all too happy to change, and eventually he saw sense and signed her to the promotion.

On her debut, Chyna became Triple H’s enforcer, another student of Kowalski’s training, and would interfere in his matches to aid him to victory. This pairing would subsequently lead her to join D-Generation X.

Through various story lines and angles, Chyna was finding her feet in the WWF.

She continued to wrestle men, and was treading a path rarely, if ever, walked by a woman.

What impressed me most about Chyna’s early tenure in the WWF was her ability to seem so comfortable in the limelight, regardless of her relative inexperience, and the fact she was setting a precedent for many to follow.

If I were her, though, I don’t think there would be a lot that scared me.

Among her many firsts as a woman in professional wrestling, Chyna became the first woman to compete in the Royal Rumble and the King Of The Ring (both 1999). She received success in neither, but they were landmarks nonetheless.

Chyna had developed the tools essential to being a great champion, and required only a modest push in the right direction from the powers that be to cement that goal.

It seemed as if she would surpass all expectations, when in August of 1999 she became the No. 1 contender for the WWF Championship by beating Triple H and The Undertaker.

Yes, you read that right, the WWF Championship.

She would soon lose that position to Mankind, but it is still a great achievement.

Where she fell short in the WWF Championship, she would find success in the Intercontinental Championship. Chyna beat Jeff Jarrett to become the first ever woman to hold the title, a title she would go on to hold three times.

The scale of this accomplishment is huge, and was a milestone in professional wrestling history.

Women’s wrestling had taken various forms over the years, and had often been scrutinized for various reasons; either the women were bad wrestlers because there were there to look good (a disease we are far too familiar with in WWE’s current product), or they could wrestle but lacked charisma or appearance.

I am not pigeon-holing all female wrestlers, as there were women who had it all, but it seemed like this was more so the case with the ladies than the men. Probably because wrestling is a career considered more frequently more males than females, hence, there is a lot more talent to choose from.

Rarely did you come across someone like Chyna, who had strength, skill, wrestling acumen, the looks (well, she had a look, she was in Playboy), and who worked the mic well. The full package.

In Chyna, we had truly found a woman who could hang with the boys.

After achieving all this, Chyna set her sights on achieving gold in what should have been her own division all along, the women’s division.

After a feud with Ivory and Right to Censor, Chyna eventually took her first and only Women’s Championship at WrestleMania X-Seven.

She would hold the title for 214 days, before leaving the WWF for debatable reasons.

Some claim she left due to her then-partner Triple H cheating with Stephanie McMahon, others claim it was for personal reasons. Either way, she left.

Her career as a professional wrestler would continue in Japan, where she joined New Japan Pro Wrestling, and continued her trend of facing off against the promotion's best male athletes.

This is particularly impressive when you consider that at the time of her arrival, women were seen in some degree as second-class citizens in Japan. She truly helped break the glass ceiling, and regardless of how much, she altered the view of women in an area that was in dire need of change.

Back to the subject matter at hand—why is Chyna the greatest female champion?

Well, if the criteria for being the greatest women’s champion were number of women’s titles held, she wouldn’t stand a chance; she has only won one.

This, I believe, is the only thing that doesn’t work in Chyna’s favor in that respect.

Chyna may have only won the WWF Women’s Championship once, but she is one of the only, if not the only, women to hold such a prestigious male title (such as the Intercontinental Championship).

There may be women who have held male titles other than Chyna, but there is no arguing that it doesn’t compare to winning the Intercontinental title.

Chyna also has another achievement in the WWE, which she alone holds.

In her one Women’s Championship reign, one of the longest in modern professional wrestling, Chyna never actually dropped the belt.

Only by leaving the WWF did she have to relinquish her title, and we can only speculate at the length of her reign had she not left.

This doesn’t happen very often, and maybe the uncertainty of what would have followed adds to the magnitude and gravity of her reign.

Chyna was very charismatic in the ring, a trait she would later utilize in the film industry. Many women lack basic acting skills, but Chyna shone.

I think that without her mic skills, Chyna would not have stayed at the forefront of WWF programming, hence, would not have had the success she did.

It truly was an integral weapon in her repertoire.

As she was so used to facing men, I think it is fair to say that competing with women came quite easily to Joanie.

We may not have seen her achieve her full potential in attaining championships, but if you were to look at other ladies’ careers, very few would have looked as promising as early on in theirs as Chyna did.

Had she not left the WWE, I don’t think I would need to bother writing as much as I have. She truly could have dominated one of the best women’s divisions around had circumstances fallen her way, and would have left little room to argue she wasn’t the best.

I would basically have been bringing a gun to the knife fight that is this Creature versus Creature.

I think the best reason for giving Chyna the title of the greatest female champion in history is this:

If you were to imagine Chyna in a match, in any given promotion, with any of the world’s greatest female wrestlers, at any time, how often could you see her losing?

I don’t think it would be very often, if at all.

Perhaps it’s because she beat on men, perhaps it’s because of her size, the impressive arsenal of moves she was able to execute, the trail she blazed for women in male wrestling, or the dominance she asserted in whichever promotion she was in, whatever.

There is little room to argue that that Chyna, Joanie Laurer, was one of, if not the, greatest female champions in wrestling history.

Sources: Wikipedia, IMDB, rock13.com, owow.com, Youtube.

WWE Night of Champions 2009 Prediction Competition Results

Jev — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 06:43:56 -0400

The Night Of Champions pay-per-view has come and gone, and the road to SummerSlam has begun. New champions were crowned, partners were revealed, and rivalries forged, but who among you saw these events coming?

I don’t think anyone was predicting The Big Show as Jericho’s partner, and there were few that thought Jeff Hardy and Christian would take away the gold. But, that is the way the WWE goes, as unpredictable as ever.

Nevertheless, 66 of you were brave enough to take part in this prediction competition, with varied success, but who came out on top of the pack?

For rules and results of all my prediction competitions, follow this link

Let’s get to the results:

66th – Two points

Carlos Ramos

65th – Three points

Adrian Staehle

64th – Five points

Dustin Speaker

Joint 62nd – Six points

Dan Telek

Jen Preston

Joint 54th – Seven points

King Of Kings

Hayley Graham

Brandon Marsdin

Josh McMullen

Jev Thorpe

Vitamin D

Alex Gilmore

Kendrick Davis

Joint 44th – Eight points

Ricky Bhatia

Jeff D Gorman

Justin Thomas

Ray Bogusz

Tom Moore-Hilgenkamp

Malik Williams

Alex Brooks

DJ Rallo

Mina

Gary Johnson

Joint 41st – Nine points

Tommy Cochran

Ron Johnson

Chad Robinson

Joint 24th – 10 points

Scott Beeby

Sulayman

AK127

Terrell Johnson

Catalina Monsalve

Shawn Straightedge

Gabriel D

Chase Ruttig

Bobby Lewis

John Landrigan

Jonathan Sheridan

Matthew Hester

Mike Fenton

Wyatt Beltz

D-Kwik

Josh Logan

Joint 15th – 11 points

AkD

Dub Sizzle

Logan Lohman

Jennifer Hill

I hear voices in my head

Rob

Alanna 1974

Austin Kretsos

Marina Mtz

Joint Ninth – 12 points

Ross

Captain Charisma

Matthew Henning

Tori Horn

Christi Lott

Hector De Jesus

Joint Fourth – 13 points

J Capozzi

Nefatiri H

Shane H

Jared Farver

Michael Archey

Third – 14 points

Danny Starry

In joint First place, and the winners, with 15 points…

Benjamin David

Connor Green

Connor only failed to predict Jeff Hardy’s win, whereas Benjamin thought that The Big Show would walk away with the U.S. Championship.

I thought that some of the results from Night Of Champions were very hard to call, so both these guys did exceptionally well, and deserve their places as winners.

Thanks to everyone for playing and I hope to hear from you all again come SummerSlam.

WWE Night Of Champions 2009 Prediction Competition

Jev — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 05:45:26 -0400

The majority of matches have been announced for this Sunday's WWE pay-per-view, where every title will be on the line at Night Of Champions.

Therefore, it must be time again for another prediction competition.

Some interesting matches have been scheduled, many of which have no clear favorite. Picking the winners this time won't be an easy task.

If you don’t know how this works yet, follow this link for all the rules and past winners.

It’s pretty simple, though; simply leave your predictions for all the matches as a stand-alone comment in the comments section, and leave the rest to me.

The match for the Women’s Championship has not been announced yet, but through reading the results of SmackDown I can take a pretty good guess at what it will be.

If you don’t want to know what happens on SmackDown involving the women, you might not want to read on. I don’t think it’s that important, though.

On to the matches:

WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Triple H vs. John Cena – (3)

World Heavyweight Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Jeff Hardy – (3)

Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler – (2)

United States Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Big Show vs. MVP vs. Carlito vs. Jack Swagger vs. The Miz – (3)

ECW Championship: Tommy Dreamer (c) vs. Christian – (2)

Unified Tag Team Championship: Chris Jericho and his mystery partner (c) vs. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase – (2)

Divas Championship: Maryse (c) vs. Mickie James – (2)

Women’s Championship: Michelle McCool (c) vs. Melina – (1)

If I am wrong about the Women’s Championship match, I will send notes to all those who have already taken part, informing them of the change.

Please look out for this note, although I’m sure I won’t have to send one.

The Unified Tag Team Championship match has caused a big stir lately, due to Jericho’s mystery partner, and picking a winner from that match will be difficult.

The real question is who you think his partner is? Once you have someone in mind, picking the winner of the match will be easier.

As ever, if you disagree with the way I have weighted any of the matches, please say.

I base them on importance, number of competitors, and unpredictability, but ultimately they are by opinion.

If enough people feel a change is needed, then that will warrant doing so.

Nobody has yet managed a perfect score. I'm sure someone has it in them to manage a perfect 18 this time.

I implore everyone reading this to take part. It really can’t hurt to have a go, and it doesn’t take long to jot a few names down.

Have fun making your choices, and good luck with the results!

What Body Part is CM Punk on His Journey From Face to Heel?

Jev — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 07:52:59 -0400

In recent months CM Punk has been making a very slow but deliberate move from being a "face" wrestler to a "heel." For those not familiar with wrestling terms, this means he is going from being a good guy to a baddie. Irrespective of whether or not we agree with this decision, the fact remains that the CM Punk we are currently seeing is not the finished heel article. So where does that leave him? If he is not yet a heel and no longer a face, what body part is he, and has he been, on his journey down the body? This slide show will follow the timeline of this move from face to heel, and determine where he has been along the way.

Begin Slideshow

B/R WWE Pay-Per-View Prediction Competition Rules and Records

Jev — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:48:28 -0400

Prior to WrestleMania XXV I began hosting a competition for members of B/R to predict the winners of WWE pay-per-views.

The aim of these competitions were to reduce the number of "here are my predictions for..." style articles that had been clogging B/R's Wrestling Section, and also just for a little fun.

I would consider that the concept has been a relative success; many people take part and have fun, and the multitude of prediction articles seem to have reduced.

After a good run of competitions, I decided to hand over the rights and responsibilities of this competition to someone else. Hayley Graham was glad to accept, and will be running the show from here on in.

The point of this article is to provide a place for me to archive all the rules, along with the results of each competition, as well as links to all the articles and winners.

If you are unfamiliar with the way this works, here are the rules:

To enter a competition for a pay-per-view, leave a stand alone comment in the comments section of the relevant article, stating your picks for all the matches.

Anyone is welcome to take part.

Each match carries a certain weight (usually between one and three), and if you correctly guess the winner of that match, that number will be added to your score.

Weightings are based on importance, unpredictability, and number of competitors involved, but ultimately they are my opinion. If enough people feel a change is necessary, then I will make one

The winner of each pay-per-view will be the person who gets the highest overall score, so making a selection for every match is important.

WWE pay-per-views can be unpredictable sometimes, and the card can be subject to change. If a match does not go ahead as scheduled, or a new match is introduced, it will not count in the competition.

Most recently, at The Bash, Edge and Chris Jericho managed to work their way into the tag team title match, and walk away with the gold.

This kind of scenario is nigh on unpredictable, and hence by the previous rule would be discounted from the competition.

Winners of matches are simply the person who wins the match, via whatever means. This seems an obvious thing to say, but on several occasions people have been confused due to some stipulations, most frequently during championship matches.

Vote for who you think will win the match, not who will have the title, not who will turn heel, or who will interfere, just who will win the match.

For example, at The Bash CM Punk got himself disqualified by kicking the referee. CM Punk walked away with the title, but Jeff Hardy won the match. Therefore points would go to those who picked Jeff Hardy.

I usually post competitions on the Wednesday prior to the pay-per-view. As this is the case, some match changes can usually occur between that time and the event.

If new matches are made I will endeavour to post notes to those who have already taken part, in the hope they will make the necessary additional pick.

As a piece of advice, I would say to be inventive with your picks; go for some of the favorites, but also pick some long shots. The WWE don’t always let the favourite win, so it can pay off to vote against them.

I would also ask that you make it clear who you are voting for. I often get left entries that can only be described as cryptic, and they are not easy to decipher.

Ultimately, this is all just a bit of fun, so please don’t hesitate to take part.

There are no prizes for winning, but there is also no punishment for losing, so it really can’t hurt to try.

I look forward to hearing from you in an upcoming competition.

Here are the results of previous competitions:

(* indicates that someone got all the answers right, and a number in brackets represents how many wins a person acheived with a win if it's more than their first, eg (2) would mean that was someone's second win in a competition)

WrestleMania XXV – Full results – Winners:

Josh Fox

Sean David

Backlash 2009 – Full results – Winners:

Jared Farver

Gevorg Keoseyan

Judgment Day 2009 – Full results – Winners:

Extreme Rules 2009 – Full results – Winner:

Greg Bush

The Bash 2009 – Full Results – Winners:

Scott Beeby

Frank Dinardo

Night Of Champions 2009 - Full Results - Winners:

Benjamin David

Connor Green

SummerSlam 2009 - Winner:

John Azam Azam*

No competition took place for Breaking Point 2009

Hell in a Cell 2009 - Full Results - Winners:

Gagan Samra*

Bragging Rights 2009 - Full Results - Winners:

Brandon Crosswhite*

Jev* (2)

Survivor Series 2009 - Get your predictions in now

Chris Jericho's Tag Partner: Aren't We Forgetting Someone?

Jev — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 06:40:12 -0400

Let me start by saying I am not all that bothered with the hype currently surrounding Chris Jericho's new tag team partner.

It's a pretty interesting scenario, but to say continually hearing of the matter is becoming mind-numbing is an understatement.

Am I therefore a hypocrite for writing an article about it? Perhaps. But I feel that despite the countless predictions and theories surrounding the matter, many have failed to put certain pieces of the WWE puzzle together to get the picture I’m seeing.

First, let's quickly recap the current situation. I stress quickly as I’m sure most of you know the story by now.

At The Bash Chris Jericho and Edge won the Unified Tag Team Titles from the Colons in an impromptu triple threat, seemingly screwing the members of Legacy from a title which should have been theirs.

Ted DiBiase got in a huff about the situation, and his relationship with Randy Orton of late has been wavering.

Regardless, a match for the title was set up for Night Of Champions between Edge & Jericho and Rhodes & DiBiase.

In the meanwhile, Edge got injured, and hence will be unable to compete in the match.

Jericho has issued a statement that the match is still scheduled, but his new partner will not be announced until the pay-per-view.

Since then, the rumor mills have been working overtime as to who it will be.

I think I can add a little more fuel to that fire.

See if you can solve the puzzle, and figure out where I’m going with this:

Puzzle piece No. 1…

In late June of last year, Legacy was a mere twinkle in Randy Orton’s eye.

Cody Rhodes was a tag team champion with Hardcore Holly, and Ted DiBiase Jr. was yet to have his in ring debut on live WWE television.

The two would then pull a fast one on Holly, tricking him out of his half of the title, and strapping it on Ted.

Legacy would ensue.

Puzzle piece No. 2…

Towards the end of the year, The Marine 2 is set to hit DVD racks in all good media outlets worldwide.

Ted DiBiase Jr. stars, and will undoubtedly be required to fulfil many duties in the promotion of the film.

Many believe that he will have to turn babyface before this event, to aid the saleability of the product, and boost profits.

To some extent I agree with this prognosis.

This puts his position in Legacy in jeopardy, as it is a heel stable. Most feel a split is imminent.

Puzzle piece No. 3…

Jericho is currently a heel within the world of the WWE.

Ergo, his partner should be a heel. Not really strenuous logic there.

Puzzle piece No. 4…

The meteoric success of Randy Orton has enviably got many talking about the future of the Legacy members.

Much of this attention has been focused on Ted DiBiase, speculating at a potential Hall of Fame career, and even the suggestion he could end The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak.

So where do all these pieces of information point? Who do I think will be Jericho’s partner?

If you haven’t figured where I’m going with this I don’t blame you.

But based on all the evidence, my theory is that Cody Rhodes will be Chris Jericho’s partner.

(Cue dramatic music)

Cody is probably the least respected member of Legacy at the moment, so he has plenty of motivation to do it.

If he is to succeed in the WWE, he will have to set himself apart from Legacy, and begin showing us why we want to see him on our screens.

This move would certainly make a statement, and would undoubtedly help him cement a place in the business for years to come.

The title run with Jericho would not do him any harm either.

Jericho would see this as a sound opportunity as well, as if he takes Rhodes as his partner, he can ensure he will walk away from Night Of Champions as a champion.

The man isn’t stupid.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if Cody pulled the same trick on DiBiase that they pulled on Holly, and sided with Jericho to assure he walked away with tag team gold?

You might ask why Ted couldn’t pull the same trick on Cody, but that would be a step in the wrong direction if he is to turn face.

Jericho is hardly the guy to side with if you don’t want some heat.

Everyone also assumes that because Ted will be the one to turn face, it will be he who splits the faction.

Not necessarily true.

I think it is patently obvious that this move by Cody would spell doom for Legacy, and would also accommodate DiBiase turning babyface.

All the pieces fit, but whether the WWE go down this route is another story.

Edge’s injury will have come as a shock to the writers, so the storyline they now have planned for Jericho will have been devised very recently.

I would hope that the WWE writers have a long-term plan and direction for Legacy, and aren’t just making it up as they go along.

In that respect I hope I am wrong, as changing the plans for Legacy on a whim could prove disastrous.

They are a hot commodity in the WWE, and souring that now will not bode well for them.

I think I have successfully added another name to the list of potential partners, but feel free to argue or agree.

**JERICHO PARTNER UPDATE**

Dan Telek has spotted that the silhouette on the WWE's website of Jericho's mystery partner looks a lot like Ted DiBiase's. Just check the article picture for evidence.

Coincidence? Who knows.

BREAKING NEWS: WWE Creative Team Diagnosed with ADHD (Satire)

Jev — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 06:53:46 -0400

It has been confirmed that the members of the WWE creative team are undergoing tests concerning their mental health.

After several complaints from members of the WWE Universe regarding the current program quality, a medical team were sent to WWE Headquarters in Stamford, Conn. to evaluate the mental condition of the WWE writers.

The news was brought to light after an e-mail regarding the issue was leaked yesterday, between Vince McMahon and a mental health official.

The situation initially came as a shock to McMahon, Chairman of WWE, but now, according to a spokesperson, he is “eager to resolve the issue, and aid the mental health workers to the best of his ability.”

Initial tests suggest the diagnosis of ADHD-I (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder type I), whose symptoms include; lacking attention to detail, having trouble paying attention to tasks, not listening when spoken to directly, avoiding tasks that take a lot of mental effort, losing things needed for tasks and activities, and being easily distracted and impulsive.

Although not all these symptoms are always present, a sufferer will usually exhibit most of them.

McMahon has been in regular contact with the health team, and requested reasoning behind the suggested diagnosis of ADHD-I.

The response from the official in the leaked e-mail, who cannot be named for legal reasons, goes into detail about how the condition was diagnosed, and what evidence was used to support this conclusion:

“To evaluate your employees we began assessing the storylines produced by them in recent months, and it was soon apparent that several symptoms of ADHD-I were present in the majority of them."

Most of your creative team have trouble concentrating on tasks.

The recent activities of Legacy are testament to this. The main stable in the business should be portrayed as a powerful entity, yet week after week they contradict this aim by relying far too heavily on the numbers game, and exhibiting acts of cowardice.

Randy Orton begging to Mark Henry for mercy is something I never wish to see again and is not the type of behaviour we should be seeing from him if Legacy is to become a real force on RAW.

Randy Orton’s WWE Championship reign has also become farcical, as not only did he lose the title quite pathetically to Batista, he then constantly relies on the assistance of Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase to retain it.

If they want him to be champion, let him act like one.

Writers also fail to see the need to give Cody and Ted tag team gold, which would further assert the dominance of the faction.

A number of the writers lack attention to detail in their work. For example, many of the feuds between wrestlers in the past year have lacked any motivation for a confrontation.

Dave Kapoor (Ranjin Singh) appears to be the worst affected, as he was apparently the brains behind the feuds between Mike Knox and Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho and anyone over the age of 50, and most recently the returning Kane’s attacking of his on-screen colleague The Great Khali.

Kapoor apparently didn’t feel the need to include specific motivations in the storylines, and even went as far as instructing Mike Knox to say outright he didn’t know why he was attacking Mysterio.

He is indeed a sick man.

During some tests it was observed that many of the writers would misplace objects required for tasks we set them.

Some doctors then analysed their writing over recent months, and noticed that they would completely forget about some of the wrestlers they had on their rosters.

Gregory Helms made a return a few months back, and after all the effort put in to build a decent come-back he seems to have been misplaced by some of your writers.

He is not the only one either; Ezekiel Jackson, Chavo Guerrero, Ku Fu Naki, Beth Phoenix, Santino Marella, and many others seem to have been left out of storylines for varying lengths of time.

Agreeably, some of these wrestlers are easier to mislay than others, but keeping Ku Fu Naki out of a storyline is inexcusable.

Several senior writers appear to avoid any storylines that either involves a substantial amount of time or effort. Most matches at pay-per-views are either carbon copies of the last pay-per-view, or completely new rivalries, that are seemingly plucked out of thin air.

You yourself are not helping matters, Mr McMahon, as you usually only allow three to four weeks between successive pay-per-views.

You might expect that some writers could handle this sort of time frame, and plan things in advance with thought and direction. But anyone with ADHD will soon take the easy road, using the frequent pay-per-views as an excuse to end half-baked storylines, and begin a whole new batch.

Most ADHD-I sufferers usually don’t listen when spoken to directly either. The result of the most recent Money in the Bank match suggests that some of you writers just don’t care what their fans want, and insist on favouring shock value over popular results.

There are some matches that you must throw the other way, just so the fans don’t get everything they want, but Money in the Bank is one you just shouldn’t mess with.

At first, CM Punk’s second win of the briefcase divided fans. After witnessing this will-he-

won’t-he heel turn that followed the cash-in, I don’t think we are in any doubt that the writers should have just given the fans what they wanted.

The fact the writers persist on neglecting the tag team and women’s divisions, whilst continually forgetting the US and Intercontinental titles also suggests they don’t listen to their fans.

It doesn’t take much searching of fan forums to realise this is what they want, so why not just give it to them.

The most damning symptom we have witnessed, though, is how easily distracted and impulsive your writers are.

Look at the way the world titles have been thrown around lately. Writers get bored seeing the strap on the same wrestler for more than a month, so feel the need to constantly change them around.

It has left your fans utterly confused.

A title change every couple of months or so can’t hurt, but they are currently being tossed around like hotcakes, it’s all a little dizzying. They also seem to have trouble keeping tag teams together.

Randy Orton and Ted DiBiase are seemingly on the brink of a split, as are Carlito and Primo, but for what reason?

Your rosters, Mr McMahon, are in dire need of more tag teams, so why are your writers splitting them up? It seems the only explanation is their sporadic behaviour due to ADHD. There is no logic behind these actions, merely the excitement of doing something different.

It appears the writers also get uninterested with pay-per-view names very quickly; it’s uncommon to see one remain the same for two consecutive years. WWE The Bash, WWE Breaking Point, WWE Hell In A Cell, are all examples of re-branded pay-per-view names over the past year.

One health worker obtained a scrap of paper from Christopher DeJoseph, a RAW writer, in which he planned on re-branding SummerSlam as WWE It’s A Bit Warm And We Fancy A Fight, Survivor Series as WWE Don’t Fall On Your Ass, and WrestleMania as WWE WrestleOrgy.

He had, however, crossed out the last suggestion, perhaps fearing the beating he might receive for even suggesting something non-PG.

Your writers also seem to have completely forgotten about this year’s draft, as they decided to implement an exchange of superstars last week completely out of the blue.

If you want the draft to have any credibility you are going to have to make it concrete. Your writers feel that by mixing the rosters up every two weeks will somehow rejuvenate their lacklustre storylines, but it doesn’t.

I realise that after a while the feuds get stale, as the roster size isn’t what it used to be (again, not helped by you, Mr McMahon, as you fire half of them every other month), but the solution isn’t to keep making the rosters look like they’ve been hit by a tornado.

Take time over feuds, build them right, and don’t exhaust all your options too soon by having everyone fight everyone else within the first 30 seconds of them being on the roster.

As you can see, Mr McMahon, there is plenty of evidence to support the symptoms of ADHD-I. I suggest immediate treatment, and a complete overhaul of your creative team.”

No response was supplied in the e-mail, but one can only imagine Mr McMahon and the WWE Directors will have little room to dispute this prognosis. It is hard to understand how this problem has gone unnoticed for so long, as recent storylines are not too dissimilar from those we have seen in the past decade.

What is even more boggling is that the entire creative team seem to be affected by the

condition.

It has been suggested that the creative team must have experienced massive trauma, perhaps, in the opinion of many, the ending of the Attitude Era. Many fans refuse to let the Attitude Era go, and insist on blaming some bad bookings purely on the WWE’s PG rating.

The colossal task of attempting to follow up the Attitude Era from a creative standpoint must have been too much for the writers, who must have cracked under the pressure.

Rumors are now circulating that writers from an online forum named Bleacher Report are being hired as the interim creative team.

Mr. McMahon has been a fan of their work for a while now, reading several pieces of their work every day. They usually write much better storylines than his team too, and always know what is best for the company.

Surely the WWE can only get better with them at the helm...

Jev Thorpe Inc. cannot be held responsible for the content of this media. All events are fictional and must be treated accordingly.

WWE The Bash 2009 Prediction Competition Results

Jev — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:38:41 -0400

For rules and results of all my prediction competitions, follow this link

It's clear that The Bash has rattled a few cages, as several of the results and goings-on were out of the ordinary.

Edge and Chris Jericho managed to weasel their way to tag team gold, and Legacy played the numbers game to ensure Triple H didn't take Randy Orton's WWE Championship.

There has been some inquiry into how some of these matches will be assessed, so I will clear the air on those now.

The tag match has to be disregarded. Edge and Jericho were not billed to be in the match, hence their victory was nigh on impossible to predict.

I took some flak for not mentioning that The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler was a no disqualification match, but when I posted the competition this stipulation had not been announced. Therefore, I feel the result for that match should count.

The majority of matches, though, took place as planned. Fifty-six of you took part in this competition, with varied success, but who came out on top? Let’s get to the results:

Joint 55^th – 0 points

Chris Jeter

Jacob Bradley

54^th – 2 points

Tom Moore-Hilgenkamp

53^rd – 3 points

Wyatt Beltz

Joint 50^th – 4 points

Joe Dantonni

Josh McMullen

xxValentinoxx Aka Rashad

Joint 47^th – 5 points

Nick Signorelli

Gabriel D

Tom Dunn

Joint 39^th – 6 points

Danny Starry

Hayley Graham

J Capozzi

Sulayman

Josh Logan

Swelly

Gary Johnson

Michael Scanion

Joint 35^th – 7 points

Rob

Zach

Elisa Taylor

Svyato Rovenchuk

Joint 29^th – 8 points

Ray Bogusz

Kurt Mehler

Tommy Cochran

Matthew Henning

John Landrigan

DJ Rallo

Joint 21^st – 9 points

Dan Telek

Kyle Johnson

Dub Sizzle

Kendrick Davis

Turner Labrie

Michael Archey

Tori Horn

Catalina Monsalve

Joint 15^th – 10 points

Connor Green

Jen Preston

OM Khaltz

Jared Farver

Mike Macho

Benjamin David

Joint 7^th – 11 points

Gagan Samra

Jeff D Gorman

Shane H

Foley Is God

Ricky Bhatia

Jessy Morris

Jev Thorpe

Terrell Johnson

Joint 5^th – 12 points

Joe Burgett

Kevin Canny

Joint 3^rd – 13 points

Niall Kelcher

Nefatiri H

Joint 1^st – 14 points

Scott Beeby

Frank Dinardo

With a possible maximum total of 16 (with the tag match discounted) 14 is a pretty impressive score, so congratulations to both Scott and Frank.

On a side note, I would like to make some things clear for subsequent competitions:

Anyone playing must try and guess who will win any particular match at a PPV. Not who will have the title, not who will turn heel, or who will interfere, just who will win the match.

It gets very confusing reading through some people's predictions when their picks are cryptic like this. I don’t mind a little insight into the matches, but, at the end, please state for who you are backing.

Also, remember that you are voting on the whole show. It frustrates me when I get picks for only a few matches, especially when the participant does well.

I thank you all for your continued support, and hope to hear from you again come Night of Champions.

WWE The Bash 2009 Prediction Competition

Jev — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 07:34:07 -0400

For rules and results of all my prediction competitions, follow this link

It's that time again for another prediction competition, as the rebranded "The Bash" gears up for this Sunday.

For those of you who don't know how this works, it's simple: Make your picks for all the matches this Sunday at The Bash, as given below, and leave your predictions as a stand-alone comment in the comments section of this article.

The numbers in bold represent the weightings of each match, hence their importance to your overall score in the competition.

There is no prize for winning, merely the satisfaction of knowing you are the most accurate soothsayer in all of B/R.

Several of the matches for Sunday promise to be exhilarating, with the outcomes seemingly more predictable for some than others. But will you get them right?

**Tiny spoiler alert**: The last match on card will be announced during SmackDown. It’s not particularly important, though, so don’t worry.

On to the matches:

World Heavyweight Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Jeff Hardy - (3)

WWE Championship (Three Stages of Hell Match): Randy Orton (c) vs. Triple H - (3)

ECW Championship Scramble: Tommy Dreamer (c) vs. Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry - (3)

Women’s Championship: Melina (c) vs. Michelle McCool - (2)

Intercontinental Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Rey Mysterio - (2)

John Cena vs. The Miz - (2)

Unified Tag Team Championship: Carlito & Primo (c) vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase - (2)

The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler - (1)

If you are in disagreement as to the weightings of some of the matches, then please say. I base the weightings on importance, unpredictability, and number of competitors involved, but ultimately they are my opinion. If enough people feel a change is necessary, then I will make one.

Nobody has managed a perfect score yet. This time there are 18 points up for grabs; will you be able to get them all?

Don’t hesitate to have a go, as my policy is the more the merrier. There is no punishment for doing poorly, so it can’t hurt to make a guess.

Good luck!

WWE Extreme Rules 2009 Prediction Competition Results

Jev — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:14:37 -0400

For rules and results of all my prediction competitions, follow this link

These results have been a little while coming, so I hope they have been worth the wait.

60 of you were brave enough to take part in my prediction competition for Extreme Rules, which ended up producing some shock results.

The big question is, who saw them coming? Let’s get to the results:

Joint 59^th – Four points

Zach Berman

Wyatt Beltz

Joint 47^th – Five points

Ross

Connor Green

Chedda Bob

Joe Burgett

Malik Williams

Terrel Johnson

Turner Labrie

Shane Howard

Rob

Nefatiri H

Gary Johnson

Joint 37^th – Six points

Ben Baumbarger

Tori Horn

DJ Rallo

Ray Bogusz

AkD

Danny Starry

Josh Logan

Anthony Hammett

Jev Thorpe

Hayley Graham

Alex Brooks

Joint 26^th – Seven points

Karl Zimmerman

Adam Testa

Catalina Monsalve

Gevorg Keosayan

Dub Sizzle

Jared Farver

Gabriel

Miguel Cabello

Justin Thomas

Gagan Samra

Emily Breunig

Joint 20^th – Eight points

Jen Preston

Kevin Canny

Colinski x

Ste Ecc

Jay Rob

Demetrus Stokes

Joint 18^th – Nine points

Sulayman

Benjamin David

Joint 14^th – 10 points

Sebastian Cedeno

Tricia Smith

Stuart Onslow

Tripa77 econ

Joint 9^th – 11 points

Scott Beeby

Kurt Mehler

Svyato Rovenchuk

Kyle Johnson

Arty The Snail

Joint 2^nd – 12 points

Frank Dinardo

Josh McMullen

Bryan

Dark Shadow

Casey Adkins

Anthony Stewart

Michael Scanion

The winner, with an impressive 13 points

Greg Bush

Greg managed to predict all the matches except the Batista vs. Randy Orton match, which was pretty good considering some of the results.

To clear up any queries regarding the CM Punk cash in, it has no impact on this competition. I have always maintained that this competition only considers scheduled matches, and as such the prediction of the cashing in of Money in the Bank is irrelevant.

Thank you all for your continual participation and I hope to hear from you come The Bash!

WWE Extreme Rules 2009 Prediction Competition

Jev — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:07:50 -0400

For rules and results of all my prediction competitions, follow this link

One of the most exciting WWE pay-per-views is just around the corner, as the once named "One Night Stand" rebrands itself as Extreme Rules!

Every match will be contested under some form of extreme rule, so it promises to be an explosive night.

For those who are unfamiliar with my competitions, the rules are simple—pick your winners from the following matches, and I will do the rest.

WWE Championship (Steel Cage match): Randy Orton (c) vs. Batista – (3)

World Heavyweight Championship (Ladder match): Edge (c) vs. Jeff Hardy – (3)

(Submission match) Big Show vs. John Cena – (2)

ECW Championship (Triple Threat Hardcore Rules): Christian (c) vs. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer – (2)

Intercontinental Championship (No Holds Barred): Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Chris Jericho - (2)

United States Championship (Fatal Four Way Match): Kofi Kingston (c) vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy - (2)

(Samoan Strap Match) CM Punk vs. Umaga – (1)

Miss WrestleMania (Hog Pen Match): Vickie Guerrero vs. Santina Marella – (1)

Leave your entries as standalone comments in the comment section below.

The numbers in bold next to the matches show the weighting of the match. The higher the weight, the more a correct prediction will add to your total score.

There was some confusion last time due to Batista’s win via disqualification, so I will clarify one point—for the purposes of this competition, the winner is whoever comes away with the win, not the title.

Many picked an Orton win last time because they thought he wouldn’t lose the title and felt slightly cheated when he kept the title, but lost the match, and hence made their prediction wrong.

Don’t be afraid to make a guess—my philosophy is the more the merrier.

Good luck!

My Favourite Skateboard Tricks

Jev — Fri, 29 May 2009 18:52:17 -0400

As a teenager, there was nothing I enjoyed more than to grab my board, head down to the local skate park, and rip it up for hours. I wasn't too good, but I appreciated the fine art of skateboarding, and marvelled at some of the stunts that others could pull off. A great skateboard trick can defy gravity, logic, and physical boundaries, in ways that boggle the mind. I am still left in awe at the creativity of the masters of the board, and made this slideshow in appreciation at some of the best tricks around.

Begin Slideshow

The Lack of a WWE Cruiserweight Division Reflects a Big Underlying Problem

Jev — Thu, 21 May 2009 08:37:06 -0400

Manny Pacquiao is currently billed as the best pound-for-pound boxer in the world. Regardless of the legitimacy of this claim, he is certainly extremely good.

Pacquiao has fought, and been successful, in several weight classes. But regardless of this ability, there is a point at which he would simply be outmatched by naturally heavier boxers.

It would be unthinkable to imagine a bout between Manny and someone of a much higher weight category than himself, like Mike Tyson.

So why does this not seem an issue for the WWE?

The WWE has been without a championship that specifically caters for lighter wrestlers since the Cruiserweight Championship was defunct over a year ago following its possession by Hornswoggle.

Since then, there has been growing discourse as to the whereabouts of such a division, and what would be done to remedy the situation.

In the absence of such a division, the boundaries of weight have been all but disregarded.

It is no secret that the combative approach of a wrestler will depend greatly on their size, and as such, some categories naturally have an advantage over others.

The “powerhouse” offence of a heavyweight wrestler is usually glaringly dominant over the “high-flying” or “technical” methods of a smaller opponent.

Fantastic lighter wrestlers have thus been sidelined in favor of their heavier counterparts, because they seem falsely inept in ability when met with such an obvious bias of weight. The inability to honor this fact also spells trouble, as when a smaller wrestler triumphs in spite of a clear weight disadvantage, the authenticity of the win is marred with disbelief.

Other sports do not have this problem, but that is wholly due to the nature of “kayfabe” in professional wrestling.

This situation is proving ever more irritating, as we are continually presented with less than believable matchups.

I was lucky enough to be in attendance at a live RAW taping a few weeks ago. Most of the wrestling on offer was highly entertaining and of a good standard; however, I was hugely disappointed by the match of Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show.

Both athletes in their own right are fantastic wrestlers, but to say that any competition between them could be fair would be grossly fictitious.

The Big Show weighs around two and a half times that of Rey Mysterio, and in any other circumstance would wipe the floor with him.

I have no problem with kayfabe, and actively discuss issues surrounding wrestling both in and out of it's context. But the margins of believability in which the average viewer can tread are cut far too thinly by these clear mismatches.

I won’t even begin to discuss the match between Hornswoggle and The Big Show on Superstars last week!

The WWE must accept that their lighter stars just shouldn’t be in the same league as some of these men, and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way.

Most small wrestlers work best with other smaller wrestlers, it’s just common sense, and given that chance they can put on some excellent exhibitions.

I challenge anyone to watch this match and not be impressed. This match was of outstanding quality, and all from men who have since been released from the company, or have slipped into the role of jobbing (with the exception of Mysterio) because they are literally and figuratively punching above their weight.

The lightweight wrestler is being backed into a corner that he can’t escape from given current circumstances. A lightweight title needs to be introduced, fast!

Mathematical Connections to Wrestling: Pt. 2

Jev — Wed, 20 May 2009 04:28:54 -0400

This will be the fifth and last installment in my "connections" series, because, frankly, I have run out of ideas after this.

If you haven't followed the series thus far, here are the links to my first Mathematics, Biology, and Philosophy peices, as well as a special on the draft.

Mathematics can be linked directly to wrestling, like I have shown before, as not only are there mechanical connections within wrestling itself, but other processes within the business are also heavily influenced by mathematics.

In this article, I will aim to consider and solve two frequently discussed issues within pro wresting and the WWE.

Landing in the middle of the ring

The mathematics behind this section is pretty sound, and although a bypass of the meaning of the key equation is omitted in the middle, it is a fairly accurate proof of my statement.

It is known by many in the wrestling world that the middle of the ring is the best place to land, but why?

The first concept that needs to be addressed in understanding this problem is how a wrestling ring works in general.

The way that a fall is “cushioned” is to increase the time that an opposing force is applied to a wrestler’s body. A given momentum has to be stopped by applying a specific total force, so if you apply it over a longer time the force at any given moment can be reduced.

Consider how a bungee rope works. If you were to jump off a bridge with a bungee cord attached you would begin to feel the rope pull at you from only a few seconds into the jump, right up until the moment you stopped.

No harm would be done as a small force would be applied over a long period of time.

Whereas if you had no ropes attached you would hit the ground. The same force could be applied by the ground to stop you, but it would all occur within a fraction of a second.

A large force would be applied to the body, and it is easy to imagine what the result would be.

So with that concept in mind, why does the middle of the ring provide a better cushion than the edge?

One mechanism that applies aptly in this instance is the workings of a spring.

A spring applies an opposing force on an object proportional to the distance of the displacement from its equilibrium position, and to an individual spring constant.

In vector form F = - k X (where underlining indicates a vector, F is the opposing force, k is the spring constant, and X is the displacement on the mat by the wrestler).

In this instance the spring constant in any given wrestling ring should be roughly equal across the entire mat.

As wrestlers only really apply force downwards when falling, I will be considering only the upward force produced by the mat.

This equation may look confusing, but all it is basically saying is that the bigger the force you apply to the mat, the harder it will push back.

The question I want to solve, using this equation, is while considering a specific displacement to the mat, where in the ring will the least force be felt?

The area that provides the smallest force for a given displacement will be also be the area that will allow the most time in contact with the mat. From my explanation above, this will be the best place to land in the ring.

I will consider movements of a distance “x” away from the centre of the ring for a given displacement downwards “a”, and try to determine if this increases or decreases the overall force applied.

After many hours spent doing calculations, re-ordering equations, and re-examining the problem several times, I came up with a solution.

Using the equation for a spring above, and some use of trigonometry, this is the formula I derived for the force experienced for a given displacement:

F=-k(((√((10+x)^2)-a^2)-(10+x))sin(arctan(a/(10+x)))+ ((√((10-x)^2)-a^2)-(10-x))sin(arctan(a/(10-x))))

This equation is quite complex, and I don’t expect anyone to have an idea what it means, but I can show you graphically what happens.

The picture for my article shows how the force varies with x. The horizontal axis represents position away from the centre, and the vertical axis shows the force experienced.

If you find it difficult to see what is happening in the picture, then follow the instructions at the end of the article.

You can see that the force is minimal at 0, i.e. the centre of the ring, and the further out you get the higher it becomes.

The areas close to the centre provide roughly the same the centre itself, so landing close to the middle is relatively safe too.

It is only when you approach the edge of the ring that the force applied back to your body becomes larger, as you can see from the graph.

I hope the way in which I have shown this was understandable, regardless of the complexity of the equation. It was hard to go about due to the nature of the mathematics, but I hope you can all see the implications.

Although some assumptions have been made, this strictly proves that the best place for a wrestler to land is the middle of the ring.

Does the draft have limitations?

This section relies heavily on some key assumptions, which are not necessarily accurate. However, what they imply is still applicable, and the figures used will be representative of the true nature of the draft.

One of the comments that I frequently hear from the wrestling community is “I wish the WWE would just pick completely new rosters instead of the draft,” and as a mathematician I have often wondered what the limitations of the draft are compared to picking completely new rosters.

If new rosters were picked there would be no restrictions. As long as the numbers on each roster are kept vaguely the same anyone could essentially be put anywhere.

The difference between this and the draft is that during the draft certain wrestlers are picked to move from an already established roster into another. So the belief is that as there is only a certain number of draft picks, the new rosters will not be as altered as they could be if new ones were picked.

The problem is thus to determine how many different rosters can be composed without restriction, and to compare that with how many different rosters can be made by using draft picks on an already established set of rosters.

The method with the most different possibilities will be the best at “shaking things up.”

To analyze this problem I first need to make some assumptions.

First, I want to make it clear that I will only be analyzing the possibilities in terms of male wrestlers, just to make things easier. Similar results can be said of the divas so it makes little difference.

These moves must not take into account tag teams, stables, or other similar limitations. I am simply focusing on the mechanics of the draft.

In terms of numbers I will say that RAW and SmackDown each have 25 wrestlers and ECW has 12 (which isn’t too far from the truth). Also, let’s assume there will be 30 draft picks in total that involve male wrestlers, with each roster having the same proportion of their wrestlers drafted.

For those who didn’t read my last mathematics article, I discussed the “nCr” function, or “choose” function, which has uses in combinatorial counting. In this instance it will tell me how many distinctive ways I can pick a certain number of wrestlers from an individual roster.

I will first find how many different rosters are possible given no limitations.

To solve the problem I will first find how many different rosters can be made for the RAW brand, given a free choice of any WWE star. The number of ways of picking 25 wrestlers from the total group of 72 is 72C25 (roughly 1.52x10^19, or 152 quadrillion).

Then for each of these possibilities we must determine how many different SmackDown rosters can be picked. This is the number of ways to choose 25 wrestlers from the remaining 37. The numeric value of this is 37C25 (1,852,482,996, close to two billion).

The ECW roster will then automatically be decided, as there are only 12 left to pick from.

The order in which I pick wrestlers for each roster does not matter, due to the symmetric nature of the choose function.

The total number of ways is then the product of the numbers above (62C25 x 37C25), which yields roughly 2.73x10^26, which is just over 273 thousand quadrillion possibilities.

That’s quite the number to get your head round.

Onto the number of different rosters the draft can produce.

From the 30 drafts picks, I will assign 12 each to SmackDown and RAW, and six to ECW, as this fairly represents their roster sizes.

The number of unique ways of picking 12 wrestlers to be drafted from 25 on either SmackDown or RAW is 25C12 (5,200,300).

Similarly for ECW, we must determine how many ways there are of selecting six people from 12, which is 12C6 (924).

Once these wrestlers have been decided, each will move to either of the two other rosters.

As there are 30 men in total that will have this choice, the number of different unique ways in which they can all move is 2 to the power of 30 (1,073,741,824, around a billion).

Using the product of the figures above (25C12 x 25C12 x 12C6 x 2^30), I calculate that the number of different rosters possible after the draft is 2.68x10^25, which is roughly 27 thousand quadrillion.

Comparing the first and second numbers of possibilities (the first with no limitations, the second from the draft) we see that the draft limits the numbers of possible rosters by a factor of 10.

This means that for every possible roster after the draft, a further nine could be created given no limitations.

This certainly would seem to support the theory that the draft has limitations.

However, I do not believe this is a problem.

We have to remember that the WWE will always do what they feel is necessary for their business. If they want to move certain wrestlers to certain brands then they will do it.

This year’s draft saw an increase of eight draft picks on last year’s, which goes to show that the WWE are flexible in who and how many they move.

My reasoning also does not consider the fact that some of the roster possibilities in the first instance would not be possible. For example, a roster made up entirely of mid-carders would not be feasible.

The same could be said about the draft, but it will be to a much lesser extent. As there are already established rosters for each brand, it becomes less likely that all of one group of wrestlers (jobbers, mid-carders etc.) will end up on one show.

In a similar respect, my model also does not account for the fact that an equal number of main eventers/mid-carders/jobbers are moved to and from a brand. For example, if RAW lost John Cena in the draft they might receive Triple H.

Maybe the draft does have some limitations, but it’s not the be all and end all. Many wrestlers have moved brands outside the draft, so don’t despair if things didn’t go how you wanted following a draft.

All these aspects would mean that the draft could in theory “mix things up” just as easily as picking from scratch, as a more refined model could reduce the factor of 10 I deduced quite dramatically.

I hope this article has lain to rest any fallacies surrounding the issue.

Well, that is the final installment in my series.

I have had a blast writing it, as it has certainly taken me some places I never thought I would go, and discovered things about wrestling I can only imagine no-one has ever considered.

I implore you to read this article’s predecessors if you have not already. Specifically those regarding mathematics, a field in which I am most proficient.

I thank you all for reading, and I hope that you have enjoyed my tangential views of the world of professional wrestling.

If you follow the link below, and insert the formula that’s inside the quotation marks into the function box, along with the parameters I have given, you can view the graph used as my article picture for yourself: http://www.walterzorn.com/grapher/grapher_e.htm; “-2((sqrt(((10-x)^2)-0.01)-(10-x))*sin(atan(0.1/(10-x)))+(sqrt(((10+x)^2)-0.01)-(10+x))*sin(atan(0.1/(10+x)))).” Enter in the following parameters: x min = -10, x max = 10, y min = 0, y max = 0.01.

Thanks must go to that web site for providing such a useful tool.

WWE Judgment Day 2009 Prediction Competition Results

Jev — Tue, 19 May 2009 11:49:28 -0400

For rules and results of all my prediction competitions, follow this link

Judgment Day has come and gone, and in the wake, I sifted through 75 sets of predictions to determine Bleacher Report's most accurate wrestling oracle.

So let's get straight to the results:

Joint 74^th – 3 points

Marc

Nathan Migeul

Joint 72^nd – 4 points

Greg Bush

Emily Breunig

Joint 68^th – 5 points

Adam Testa

Sebastian Cedeno

David Bowston

Dan Telek

Joint 61^st – 6 points

Chipper Smith

Jared Farver

Ali Mashaf

Frank Dinardo

Dorian Goodman

Anonymous Guy

Rob

Joint 49^th – 7 points

Sulayman

Ricky Bhatia

Kevin Canny

David Phillips

Josh Logan

Carlos Ramos

Alex Hall

Cena’s no 1 fan

Charles Everhart

Demetrus Stokes

Jay Aivez

Christi Lott

Joint 31^st – 8 points

Svyato Rovenchuk

Chedda Bob

Angelo Cerelli

Michael Scanion

Daniel Sumrall

Gevorg Keosayan

Jessy Morris

Jeff Gorman

J-Tom

Catalina Monsalve

Gabriel DeBiasi

Celeste Winchester

Gagan Samra

Jason Le Blanc

Gilligan Henry Dorpfeld

Kurt Mehler

Carson Tazuk

Gary Johnson

Joint 17^th – 9 points

Jimmy Maloney

Adrian Iceman Staehle

Dark Shadow

xxValentinoxx Aka Rashad

Michael Archey

Butterfly Angel

Joseph Daniel

Dub Sizzle

Josh McMullen

Scott

Giorgi Dolidze

Kevin Schomaker

AkD

Ste Eccles

Joint 7^th – 10 points

Shane Howard

Jen Preston

Benjamin David

Jack Morton

Miguel Cabello

Connor Green

Tori Horn

DJ Rallo

Joe Burgett

Marina Boavista

Joint 1^st – 11 points

There were inquiries into who won the Batista vs. Orton match as there was a disqualification. Orton walked away with the title, but Batista won the match, so the result goes to Batista.

This competition was a tight one, which shows—there were six winners.

Thank you all for your continual support and participation. I hope you had fun playing, and look forward to hearing from you all again come Extreme Rules.

I plan to write an article soon where I intend to document all past winners and leave links to each competition article and results.

It will soon become too taxing to type out all the past winners names onto each article (as I have been doing), so I thought it would be easier that way, as they would all be in one place.

WWE Judgment Day 2009 Prediction Competition

Jev — Wed, 13 May 2009 06:36:11 -0400

For rules and results of all my prediction competitions, follow this link

Judgment Day is this Sunday, so that can only mean it is time for another prediction competition.

If you aren't familiar with the rules, they can be found in my competition articles for WrestleMania XXV and Backlash '09.

It's pretty simple; pick your winners from the matches below and leave them as a stand-alone comment in the comments section.

Seventy of you were kind enough to take part in the Backlash competition, as opposed to the 58 who took part for WrestleMania XXV, and I hope you will help keep those numbers rising.

Jared Farver, Gevorg Keoseyan, Josh Fox, and Sean David have all taken the top spot so far; will you be able to add your name to that list? Full results of the previous competitions can be found here and here.

Without further ado, let’s get down to business. The matches for Judgment Day are:

WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Batista – (3)

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. Jeff Hardy – (3)

ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs. Jack Swagger – (2)

John Cena vs. The Big Show – (2)

Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Chris Jericho – (2)

CM Punk vs. Umaga – (1)

**Newly Added**

John Morrison vs. Shelton Benjamin - (1)

These are the matches that have been announced so far, along with the weightings I have allocated them. If you are in disagreement about the weighting, let me know. If enough people feel one is wrong, I will change it.

**Tiny spoiler alert**—No new matches were announced for Judgment Day on SmackDown, so unless a match is confirmed on WWE.com in the coming days before the pay per view, this should be the final card.

Will anyone be able to score a perfect 14? Nobody has managed a perfect score thus far, so pick your winners wisely, as I’m sure it will happen soon.

The results will be published a little later than usual, as I won’t be able to watch the event live, so I won’t know what has happened. This is because I am deep in the middle of university revision and can’t afford the late night.

Don’t be afraid to get involved and make a guess. My policy is the more the merrier.

Good luck!

Santino Marella's WWE Entrance Music Translation

Jev — Fri, 08 May 2009 11:50:43 -0400

I was looking through my old articles and saw a piece about the translation of Maryse's entrance music, and it got me wondering what Santino's music meant.

Santino’s music doesn’t translate to anything amusing or racy like Maryse’s, but it is slightly bizarre.

The music is titled La Vittoria e Mia (Victory Is Mine), and was composed by Jim Johnston.

So to anyone who either doesn’t speak Italian or has never looked it up before, here is the translation from Italian to English:

Victory is mine, is mine

And the evil sun burns the world with its fire,
And the air and the light that last forever.

I reach my day, I hold the power,
Victory is mine, I bow to history,
I bow to everyone that has shown the way by sacrificing everything.

And the evil sun burns the world with its fire,
And the air and the light that last forever.

It is now my turn to write new history,
Victory is mine, I feel the sun burning the world with its fire,
And I see the light that lasts forever.

It is now my turn to write new history,
I reach my day, I hold the power,
Victory is mine, Victory is mine, is mine.

And the evil sun burns the world with its fire,
And the air and the light that last forever.

This seems a rather serious piece of music for a less than serious man.

I think he needs to change his music to “Shaddap your face” by Joe Dolce.

This translation is not breaking news, but I was sitting around doing nothing and found this, so thought I would share.

I wish everyone a good day.

Thanks to wikianswers.com for the translation

In What Position Is the WWE's World Title Division?

Jev — Thu, 07 May 2009 10:28:41 -0400

I had to put off writing this article because I am currently swamped with work, but felt compelled to address the state of the WWE's world title division regardless of other commitments.

There are several issues I have with the division, but none more pressing than the first.

At the past seven WWE pay per views there have been a total of ten world title changes (not including ECW), out of a possible 14.

That’s 71 percent of all world title matches at pay per views resulting in a title switch. Not to mention additional changes on the weekly shows.

That is just absurd.

We often talk about the “credibility” of a title, and how pathetic title reigns beget pathetic titles. Well, in my opinion, the WWE’s omission of a recent credible title reign is fast diminishing the credibility and prestige of their two world titles.

Perhaps this is product of a more demanding generation, as the converse of not changing any titles would leave most current fans dissatisfied, but it a product I would happily see diminish.

I can respect the fact the Triple H, one of the WWE’s most decorated wrestlers, had a lengthy title reign last year, but to then involve him in this melee of title switches detracts from any ground gained on the issue.

The optimist could argue that there have been this many changes because of the quality of the top wrestlers, and because they are all around the same mark in terms of quality, confrontations are likely to go either way on any given occasion.

However, I find this hard to accept. This issue has not been magnified to such an extent as in recent months, yet one could argue that there has always been the same level of quality throughout the top stars in recent years.

But I believe the problem lies, as I mentioned before, in the WWE’s need to “please” some fans.

Another aspect that I feel needs discussing is which wrestlers have been making up the world title scene.

On the whole I have been happy with who has been involved over the past few months; Triple H, Edge, Orton, Jeff Hardy, and The Big Show are all names I am happy to see in the mix.

John Cena and Batista do garner mixed reactions, but I think most have come to accept they will be on the main event scene for the foreseeable future, and I am OK with that.

It would be nice to see some unfamiliar faces thrown into the mixing pot, as eventually the Triple H’s and Batista’s will displaced by younger stars.

It would appear that MVP, and more obviously CM Punk (money in the bank winner), will fill that role, and solve the problem in the near future.

I feel that if the boat is left un-rocked these characters will be able to provide some decent matches through the rest of the calendar, and put the WWE’s prized division in a respectable position. But I really hope there are some reigns that last more than a month.

Comparatively the division is still good; to say that TNA’s recent offering of Sting vs. Foley is competition to it is laughable.

Most of this will not be new news to anyone, but I felt the need write about the issue while I had a chance.

It just frustrates me that a consumer driven company like the WWE panders to their fans whose ideals of constant short term gains will in inevitably yield long term issues.

WWE Backlash 2009 Prediction Competition Results

Jev — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 10:34:01 -0400

For rules and results of all my prediction competitions, follow this link

Backlash certainly produced a few shocks and delivered a fantastic show, but how well did you the B/R Wrestling section, predict the winners? Let's find out the results of the Backlash predictions:

70^th – 0 points

Dan Telek

69^th – 1 point

xxValentinoxx BLOOD

Joint 67^th – 2 points

Ray Bogusz

AkD

Joint 64^th – 3 points

Ste Eccles

Adam Testa

Gagan Samra

Joint 58^th – 4 points

Angela Tester

Alex Idle

Mina

Jason Le Blanc

Brianna LaRue

Adrian Staehle

Joint 50^th – 5 points

Daniel Sumrall

Jack Morton

Erin McLaughlin

Jessy Morris

Gabriel DeBiasi

Marina Boavista

Phillip Powell

Daris Brown

Joint 41^st – 6 points

The Game HHH

David Bowston

Shane Howard

Jay Rob The Legacy Kid

Greg Bush

J Tom

Scott Beeby

Ali Mashraf

Brenton Faulkner

Joint 31^st – 7 points

Ricky Bhatia

Steven Wilson

Kevin Canny

Chris Browne

Jared Barnes

Kurt Mehler

Ron Johnson

Tyler Williams

Svyato Rovenchuk

DJ Rallo

Joint 18^th – 8 points

anonymous guy

Garrett Gonzalez

Miguel Cabello

Frank Dinardo

Will Howard

Dub Sizzle

Connor Green

Michael Wollin

Celeste Winchester

Lemar Bolton

Josh Fox

Josh Brewster

Jev Thorpe

Joint 16^th – 9 points

Demetrus Stokes

Shreyash Dugar

Joint 5^th – 10 points

Benjamin David

Andy J Springer

Andrea Claire

Carson Tazuk

Josh Logan

Jane Jane

Johnathan Staub

Rob

Jen Preston

Michael Archey

Catalina Monsalve

Joint 3^rd – 11 points

David Phillips

Jack Jack

Joint 1^st – 12 points

Jared Farver

Gevorg Keoseyan

Congratulations to Gevorg and Jared on winning. Nobody managed to get the full house but some got pretty close.

Thanks to everyone who took part, there were 70 in total this time, up 12 on last time.

I hope you all enjoyed playing, and I hope to hear from you all again come Judgment Day.

WWE Backlash 2009 Prediction Competition

Jev — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 07:58:43 -0400

For rules and results of all my prediction competitions, follow this link

The final card has been decided for Backlash, so you can now make your picks for the winners in the second of my prediction competitions.

For those who missed the last one, the rules can be found on the last competition article from WrestleMania XXV.

It’s pretty simple; make a pick for each of the matches that will be at Backlash listed below. Each match has a weighting based on the unpredictable nature of the match, number of participants, or importance etc.

The higher a score is, the more valuable the match, with scores ranging from one to three. The person with the most points overall at the end will be declared the winner.

The weightings are up for discussion, so if you feel I have unfairly scored a match, please tell me.

The winners of the last competition were Josh Fox and Sean David. Full results here.

There is no prize, merely the satisfaction of knowing you are the best “oracle” in the B/R Wrestling section.

One rule I forgot to mention last time is that if a match significantly changes then it cannot be counted in the scoring.

This rule is pretty subjective, and depends on the situation whether it is used. For example, when I played this at home during No Way Out we had to completely discard the last elimination chamber as Edge managed to weasel his way into it at the last minute.

Onto the matches:

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Edge – (3)

WWE Championship – Team HHH (c) vs. Legacy (3)

ECW Championship – Jack Swagger (c) vs. Christian (2)

“I quit” match - Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy (2)

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (2)

Kane vs. CM Punk (1)

Apparently there is also a Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP match, so please leave your picks for this. However, this hasn't been confirmed by the WWE yet.

I will weight this match when it becomes official.

Leave you entries in the form of a stand alone comment below.

The idea of this article is to try and bandage up the hemorrhaging wound that produces massive amounts of prediction articles in the B/R Wrestling section.

I can’t stop anyone writing them but they do get a little much sometimes, as most will agree. But I hope this will provide a decent outlet for these predictions, and I hope you will take part.

The last competition received 58 entries, and I hope I can gain the same interest with this competition.

Everyone who participated last time seemed to have fun doing it, so don’t feel intimidated to have a go. It’s only a bit of fun, so get guessing!

Musings of RAW From a Fan in Attendance

Jev — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 12:39:14 -0400

I have just returned from London on a trip to see my first ever broadcast WWE show, so I thought I would regale the B/R Wrestling section with my thoughts from this Monday night's RAW.

This won’t be a recap, as most of you will either have watched or read what happened, more of an opinion of the show as a whole.

I will be discussing some matches that will be aired on WWE Superstars, so if you don’t want to hear the results of them I will make it clear when not to read.

The atmosphere at the event was fantastic. This was not my first WWE event, but it was the first time I was seeing a broadcast show.

The WWE doesn’t come to England often, so the spectacle is well appreciated by the fans, and it showed.

Before the event I had arranged to meet up with fellow B/R writer Ste Eccles. I was with friends anyway, but the more the merrier. We had a chat, some beers, and parted ways to watch the show.

We also bumped into another couple of guys we knew before hand, and wished them an enjoyable evening.

The seats we were allocated were not the best. We were at the back of a tier that was oval in shape, and was almost directly facing the titan tron. So we were pretty far away.

We then employed a tactic I would not advise; we spotted some house seats which had been left empty in a very nice location, left ours and headed for them.

After a couple of minutes walk around the arena we found “our” new seats, and the show began.

William Regal started off in a dark match against Dolph Ziggler, and in classic home advantage style romped over the young man.

The crowd was really behind Regal, which was great to see. Although he is a heel he has been a good wrestler over the years, so it was nice to see his countrymen respect him.

Then Jericho came out, and his segment with Steamboat and Cena began. Nothing out of the ordinary, and the resultant match at Backlash was booked.

Batista vs. Chavo followed, of which I missed two Batista bomb’s due to a much needed trip to the toilet. We joined Batista in his “gunner” entrance, which gained some peculiar looks from other fans.

I got a text from Ste Eccles saying how bad his seats were, so encouraged him to come and join us over in the house seats.

A few minutes later he arrived, and was more than impressed at our acquisition.

Kane vs. Punk was a surprise because they are both SmackDown wrestlers.

Punk botched the roll up at the end and scored a massively unconvincing three count. Following this the referee called the two back in the ring to shoot the bit again, because it was so bad the first time.

He managed to do it with the second attempt, which is probably the one that was broadcast.

That didn’t exactly provide a sense of realism to the attending fans, and the cheers received by them was acknowledging of this fact.

The show as a whole was very broken in this respect. On a few occasions filming would cease, and Lillian Garcia would have to rally the audience again before it could continue.

Again, this took away a sense of realism.

I know it’s a TV show, and despite how it was billed it was by no means live, but it was taken a little too far sometimes.

One thing I will say about watching a WWE event is that you cannot appreciate the magnitude of people there until you are in attendance. Half way through the show one of my friends turned around, and in awe, realized that there was a whole other tier above us.

It was very impressive to look up toward the nosebleeds.

Despite what I have heard from the online community, the Santino/Beth Phoenix segment was pretty amusing. The following match with Melina and Beth was also very good, with a great finisher by Melina.

Cena and Jericho put on a great match, and the Edge segment at the end was incredible.

The con-chair-to followed by Edge’s seething remarks was fantastic.

Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio was OK, not too much else to say on the matter.

At this point some very confused looking arena staff walked over to us looking to seat some fans where we were sitting.

We protested our innocence and they were seated elsewhere. A very close call nonetheless.

Then Randy Orton faced Triple H in a rematch of WrestleMania contested under no disqualifications.

There were some great spots throughout this match, ending with an RKO amidst the carnage of interruptions from Legacy, Batista, and Shane McMahon.

That brought and end to the RAW proceedings.

Following a quick turn around of equipment and announcing staff, the taping for Superstars began.

The first match was Kane and The Big Show against CM Punk and Rey Mysterio, all of whom had fought earlier in the evening.

The match was not bad, but at this point the crowd had died, and it was hardly worth getting behind.

Big Show choke slammed Punk to pick up the victory.

Edge then fought Kofi Kingston, with both putting on a great performance. I would like to say I could remember some highlights of that match but I was far too drunk at this point.

The WWE had suckered the fans into staying this long by promising a dark match of Edge vs. Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship.

Cena came out almost as soon as Edge had beaten Kofi, and the match ended almost as quickly as Batista’s.

The fans were undeniably upset, but what can you expect from a dark match.

Following a run to the tube station we caught a train and our WWE experience came to an end for the evening.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself and would encourage anyone reading to experience it for themselves.

However, don’t walk home at gone midnight shouting wrestling chants, as disgruntled Londoners apparently like to throw porn DVD cases at you.

That was an amusing surprise.

For anyone confused the picture above is of London’s O2 Arena, where last night’s RAW took place.

Will Shane McMahon or Batista Turn on Triple H at Backlash?

Jev — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 10:56:27 -0400

Something about this WWE Championship match at Backlash just doesn't smell right.

Since Batista's return and the creation of this six-man tag team match for Triple H's title, I have been going back and forth on what could happen, and I see a sinister plot afoot.

Many Randy Orton fans were unhappy that he didn’t go over Triple H at WrestleMania XXV, perhaps with reason, but will we see a plot twist at Backlash that will more than make up for it?

With the Legacy asserting their dominance on RAW, and fast becoming the force to reckon with within the WWE, they have still yet to claim the one component that makes a faction so powerful, gold.

Every major faction or stable within the WWE or any other major promotion at some point will have held championships. It’s almost a given. We have yet to see this with Legacy.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase will again at some point get a shot at the tag team gold (as they are one of the only teams left), and I am in no doubt that at the end of this program with Triple H, Randy Orton will walk away with the WWE Championship in hand. The question is when?

Backlash usually, but not always, brings an end to rivalries to start fresh, and I can see no reason why that could not be the case this year.

The only reason I have reservations that Backlash will not be the end of this is Triple H’s recent draft to RAW.

It may have something to do with a continued feud with Orton, but I hope not. I think there may be other reasons for this move.

Eventually this rivalry will get boring, and the WWE Championship will have to take a different path.

So what could happen that could put an end to the feud and take it off at a tangent?

Well I have two theories, and both involve treachery.

The first is that the recently returned Batista turns on Triple H, and costs him his WWE Championship.

His motive; well their rivalry is well-documented, and their paths have crossed on many occasions. I’m sure it wouldn’t take the WWE much to convince us of this angle.

His return is also a little too conveniently timed don’t you think? Making it back just in time to be put in this match.

However, Orton did put Batista out of action, albeit kayfabe, so maybe this will tip his balance to ally with Triple H.

Means and opportunity are obvious, as will be the case in my next theory, as both perpetrators will be involved in the match. Both will be able to cost Triple H his gold.

“Both, you say. Both?”

That’s right, my second theory is that Shane McMahon costs Triple H the WWE Championship, and potentially joins Legacy. He is third generation after all.

I, along with others, thought that something major involving either a McMahon or a member of Legacy was going to happen at WrestleMania. It didn’t, but the opportunity for a back-stabbing is still open.

Why would Shane cost Triple H the title? Well again their past rivalry is well documented. DX crossed paths with Shane and Vince a few years ago, they were both part of the WrestleMania 2000 main event (although Shane was a manager), and the more obvious fact that Shane is Triple H’s brother-in-law.

Before a few months ago we had never seen an on-screen confirmation by the WWE of this relationship, although it has been played on before. So we could see some twist on the issue that Shane somehow holds a grievance toward Triple H, and thus costs him the title.

Both theories have merit, but where could each lead?

Well, if Batista cost Triple H the title, it would no doubt lead to a program between the two, and would let Randy Orton endeavor with other feuds.

Legacy would build steam and find other ways to amuse itself.

Shane McMahon would be left with a backseat role in this instance, but that wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Shane is fun to have around but he is hardly the best wrestler. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind another break from the screen.

If Shane turned on Triple H then the ramifications for Legacy could be epic. Having such a powerful name behind the faction would certainly be a step in the right direction for them.

I have mixed views on what would happen with Batista and Triple H, as both would be on the receiving end of the deceit.

Maybe Batista is the one pinned and Triple H blames him, or perhaps the two go after Legacy, it’s not really too easy to say at this point.

So this is the point in the article, after providing good evidence for the two scenarios, where I say ‘X’ will happen. But in all honesty I am completely split.

I am confident that betrayal is on the horizon, but from which camp I don’t know.

I would like opinions on this because I am torn. Or do you think I am just talking rubbish?

Mathematical Connections to Wrestling: The WWE Draft's Unlikely Odds

Jev — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 10:10:54 -0400

I was in the middle of writing Part Two of my "Mathematical Connections to Wrestling" article when I felt inspired to write this. It covers the odds of certain events occurring in the WWE Draft, which I believe calls for a change in how it is billed.

The mathematics behind this article isn’t too hard in term of concepts, so I hope you can follow and enjoy.

The WWE Draft has always been billed as random, but as I sat watching the live draft—and then later the supplemental draft—I began to think that there were some huge mathematical improbabilities that I wanted to explore.

The concept of something being random is: any outcome has as much likelihood as another. However, due to the nature of probability, the odds that several of these events will occur in order or together can be significantly more.

The odds of flipping a coin and it landing on heads are 1:2. Not bad odds. But the odds of repeating this feat 100 times in a row is roughly one in a quadrillion quadrillion—pretty unlikely, I would say.

These kinds of compound probabilities produced some very improbable results during this year's draft, which I wish to evaluate fully.

Tag teams staying together

Anyone who was watching the supplemental draft yesterday would have been under the impression that several tag teams were bound for a split.

First Cryme Tyme, then the Colons, and finally the Bellas seemed bound for a split. But lo and behold, they weren’t. Their counterparts were drafted to the same show, and all three tag teams were saved.

So what are the odds of this happening?

Well, in total there are roughly 75 wrestlers working for the WWE, 36 of whom were drafted. That’s roughly a half of all superstars drafted.

So the odds of each member of a tag team being drafted are a half. As well as this, you have the choice of which brand to move to when drafted. As there are two possibilities, let's give the odds of moving to a specific brand a half as well.

The odds of Shad being drafted (as he was) are then a half. Which brand he moved to was irrelevant, as we are only concerned with the probability that JTG will join him.

Again, the probability of JTG being drafted is a half. Add to this the odds that he will move to the same brand as Shad, and you get one in four.

So the total probability that the tag team would be drafted together will be half times a quarter, which gives a one in eight chance. Not too unlikely, you say?

Considering the same thing happened to these three teams, the odds then increase to one-eighth cubed, which is 1/512. Starting to look less likely, isn’t it?

You may say that not all the tag teams were kept together, but when you consider the nature of their splits, they become irrelevant to these odds.

Miz and Morrison split on RAW, so a big deal could be made of it. Only the lesser tag teams like Hawkins and Ryder, and Zeke and Kendrick were split in the supplemental.

I know that although the draft is random only in kayfabe (real in wrestling) terms, surely the WWE could work in an angle where tag teams get moved together. Surely that’s not too much to ask.

Belts switching brands

This year we saw both the Intercontinental and US titles, and Women and Diva titles switch brands. Coincidence? Let’s see.

The odds that anyone within the WWE would be drafted are a half, as established before. So the odds that all four of these title holders would be drafted are one half to the power of four, which is: 1/16.

Then take into account the fact that all four were not only drafted, but also made a straight swap in terms of brands. The odds of one of them doing this are a half, as above, so the odds of all four directly swapping are again: 1/16.

The probability that both of these scenarios occur is then 1/16 squared, which is: 1/256. Again, this doesn’t look very likely, does it?

Big names moving on the main draft

This next section provides the most damning evidence that the draft is not random. Thought the last odds were high? Check these out...

Ever find it bizarre that although the draft is random, all the big names seem to move on the main draft on RAW? Well, probability can provide some evidence to your suspicions.

There were 12 picks made on Monday in the main draft, followed by 24 picks in the supplemental draft. I, personally, thought that most of the draftees could be considered big names.

At this point I would like to clarify what I mean by big names, and put an estimation on their numbers.

There are obviously some wrestlers in the WWE that are more popular than others, and as such are treated accordingly. These wrestlers are given more air time, hold championships more often, and are generally liked by the fans more and are on the whole considered the most important wrestlers.

In all, I would say that one third of wrestlers fall into this bracket, roughly 25. This proportion is justified in the fact that one-third of draft picks occurred on RAW.

So what are the odds that only big names will be drafted on RAW?

Think of this situation as if there are 25 black balls and 50 white balls in a bag. I want to know what the odds of picking 12 black balls in a row is, without putting a ball back in once it is picked.

The odds of the first person being drafted being an important wrestler are 25/75. This is due to the fact that there are 75 to pick from in total, and there are 25 that would fall into the bracket of a “big name.”

After this, the odds of the next person being drafted being are big name are 24/74, as there is one less in each category.

This continues until the last pick, where the odds of the 12th person being a big name are 14/64.

The quickest way of computing this probability is using factorials, which is a mathematical function that is not too important to explain (look it up if you want).

The resulting probability of all 12 twelve wrestlers being big name is, believe it or not, one in five million!

To put it bluntly, this is a ridiculous improbability. The odds of this happening are about the same as someone playing the lottery every day and winning the jackpot roughly once every three days. It just isn’t going to happen.

So as I have shown, the odds that most of the results of this year's draft happen are minute. To say they are believable would be laughable.

I know there are probably many of you reading this thinking, “It’s all set up anyway—why are you so worked up?” Believe me, I know it’s made up in advance by the WWE, but the fact is they continue to sell it as random.

The draft could be billed as something other than random, perhaps where the GMs get to make picks. This way it would be more likely that they would take big names, and would certainly make it more believable.

I’m sorry, WWE, but the numbers just don’t add up. I would say, “do the math,” but I have just done it for you.

Why Christian Should Lose on ECW Tonight if He Wants to Be Drafted

Jev — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 10:32:50 -0400

Christian Cage shocked the world a few months ago by returning to ECW, WWE's third-string show, and has been competing there ever since.

There was much debate as to whether this was the right move by the WWE, but, regardless, most believed it would be a short-lived tenure.

His intentions to win ECW gold are now well known. Last week, he progressed through to the second stage of the ECW Elimination Chase to determine the No. 1 contender for Jack Swagger’s title, as ordered by the new interim general manager, Tiffany.

I see this posing a dilemma.

Christian, I am sure, would much prefer to be on a bigger brand, and with his recent move back to the WWE and accompanying popularity, I’m sure the fans would too.

However, the supplementary draft is on Wednesday, so can it be viable for anyone who is still in the Elimination Chase to conceivably be drafted?

Look what happened last year following the draft at Night of Champions, where Kane, Mark Henry, and Big Show were in a triple threat for the ECW gold. Kane had recently been drafted to RAW, and Big Show was on SmackDown, leaving only Mark Henry on the brand.

To say that match was predictable would be a gross understatement. The ECW title is near enough the only belt that cannot switch brands, so it became obvious who the victor would be.

If Christian remains in this hunt for the ECW Championship, and gets drafted, we will be faced with a similar position as after the last draft. There will be almost no plausible means for him to win the title, as it would remove it from its namesake brand.

The WWE can surely see how this string of events would back that championship match into a predictable outcome, generating more criticism for an issue that tends to arise too often in their business.

The WWE could bail themselves out of this mess by not drafting Christian, but I’m sure this would cause just as much uproar as the previous scenario. Many Christian fans are really not happy having him on ECW, and to make him wait another year to move up could be disastrous for ratings, and Christian’s career.

The only way out, therefore, would be to make him lose tonight on ECW, and sever all ties he has with the brand—allowing him smooth passage to one of the bigger brands.

I am not the biggest fan of Christian currently, but it seems sensible to me that more exposure to this kind of star is what the WWE needs. Leaving him to languish on the sinking ship of ECW is doing nobody any favors.

Make the right move, Christian—lose!