Bleacher Report - Articles by Jack Chou

Why We Watch Sports

Jack Chou — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 15:02:40 -0500

On Thursday evening I was sitting on the couch, surfing the Internet with SportsCenter on in the background, when clips from Portland’s 101-99 win over Houston came on. I watched with interest as Roy hit his huge turnaround, and as Yao sank the and-one bucket to pull ahead by one. When Roy hit the enormous flat-footed three, I let out a loud yelp of ‘Ohhhh!’ Ivy looked at me like I was crazy.

Though it was a surprising and unexpected moment of victory, Portland’s win (to a casual sports fan) doesn’t seem like it should excite me at all. After all, what emotional connection do I have to the Trailblazers? Yao’s Chinese (+1). I love Ron Artest’s play (+1). I love watching to see if Artest is going to do something crazy (+1). Always been a fan of Tracy McGrady (+1). Very bullish on Brandon Roy (-1). I’ve always thought the Blazers should’ve drafted Durant (+1).

I believe that puts me at +3 in the rooting section for the Rockets.

But simple rooting interests represent only a small part of why we really watch sports. It’s just the first level of sports enjoyment.

Being a fan of a team is a sufficient condition to watch the team’s game, but it’s far from the only reason for doing so. You might watch a game because of its importance in the world of sports (the "Tiger Woods" effect). You might watch a game because of a transcendent star who demands your attention (the "Michael Jordan" effect) - note to Lakers fans, Kobe Bryant does not qualify. You might even watch a game for the pure passive entertainment value (the "Game and a beer" effect).

While all of those reasons are valid, the real reason we (addictive sports fans) watch sports is the simple possibility of amazing moments. Moments like the time Brandon Roy scored twice (including a 35-foot three-pointer) in the last 1.9 seconds to pull his team to a two-point victory. Or when the Tampa Bay Rays hold off the Red Sox in a fantastic Game 7 in the ALCS Championships. Or an unreal LeBron James hammer dunk. Or when Nick Robinson beat Arizona on an unbelievable half-court shot to keep Stanford’s unbeaten season alive.

We watch sports in the hope of moments like those. We sit through boring blowouts in the middle of the season and last-minute comebacks that fall seconds short just for the mere possibility that those games might result in a fantastic moment or two. Usually it doesn’t happen, but those rare moments more than make up for all of the unspectacular hours.

It’s why we can’t understand people who leave at the first sign of possible loss or folks who decide to just check on the score later. And it’s certainly why we detest bandwagon jumpers who root for a team only in the good times. Because those spectacular experiences are rewards for the commitment and investment of our time.

NFL Picks: Week 10

Jack Chou — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 18:47:38 -0500

My favorite storyline of this season has been the outrageousness that is the Oakland Raiders' franchise. I won’t re-hash the Lane Kiffin hilarity, but let’s take a quick look at the DeAngelo Hall saga:

In the offseason, the Raiders traded a second and fifth-round picks for DeAngelo Hall, a cornerback, who went to the Pro Bowl last year. They did this against Kiffin’s opinions.
Hall played eight games for the Raiders this season, getting paid $1M PER GAME. He was dusted several times for long gains, playing opposite the Raiders' star CB Nnamdi Asomugha.
The Raiders unceremoniously cut him yesterday, basically lighting their two draft picks on fire and releasing a very talented player
Now, other Raiders players are speaking out, saying things like: “I’ve never been in a situation where you cut one of the best players,” and “I am just a player so I can’t speak on it. I don’t make the decisions.... we’re just supposed to shut up and play.”

Good times! It really makes me relieved to be a 'Niners fan. I can’t believe I just wrote that.

Last week: 9-5
Overall Season Results: 66-62-2

Thursday

DEN (+3) at CLE
If there was a good time to start out as a first-time QB, it’s against the awful Broncos defense. Denver is reeling and just can’t stop the run. Look for Jamal Lewis to get a lot of work on the ground.
Pick: CLE

Sunday

JAX (-6) at DET
I’m having trouble understanding why Jacksonville is playing so badly. They can’t even run the ball anymore against normal NFL teams. Luckily, Detroit is less than a normal NFL team.
Pick: JAX

TEN (-3) at CHI
Whoa, whoa, whoa, let’s get a hold of ourselves here. Isn’t one of these teams 8-0 and didn’t the other team almost lose to the Lions last week? Chicago might play inspired ball and pull this off, but the spread seems bizarre.
Pick: TEN

BUF (+4) at NWE
If the Bills lose this game, they’ll be in a serious hole. It’s bizarre that they’ve been unable to run the ball. And Trent Edwards just isn’t (yet) the kind of QB that can carry a team for 16 games.
Pick: NWE

NO (+1) at ATL
I do like what the Falcons are doing right now, but Brees and company should have a good day. Colston should finally be back at full speed.
Pick: NO

STL (+9) at NYJ
Too many points. The Rams didn’t look great last week, but Favre and company can’t really trusted to stomp on teams every week. I’m thinking O.J. gets a pick or two in this one.
Pick: STL

SEA (+9) at MIA
I still can’t believe the 'Niners lost to this team…
Pick: MIA

GB (+2.5) at MIN
Who would’ve thought that Gus Frerotte would be the biggest gunslinger in a game between the Vikings and the Packers?
Pick: MIN

CAR (-9) at OAK
Clearly, the Raiders’ release of DeAngelo Hall is going to solve all their problems. After all, it’s not like the Falcons left treadmarks all over them last week.
Pick: CAR

KC (+14.5) at SD
The Norv Turner Rule is definitely poised to move to 7-2 on the season this week. The Chiefs are playing much better, and Norv Turner was once the head coach of the Raiders.
Pick: KC

IND (+3) at PIT
For real this time, Peyton and co. are getting it together.
Pick:

NYG (+2.5) at PHI
At what point did Eli Manning become the brother who was more reliable and less likely to throw some outrageous picks? I feel like they roll in this game.
Pick: NYG

BAL (-1) at HOU
Sage Rosenfels is like Matt Schaub...’s Dad. Who needs Willis McGahee when you’ve got Ray Rice and company?
Pick: BAL

Monday

SF (+9.5) at ARI
I’m pretty confident that Shaun Hill can keep this game close—it also sounds like the 'Niners will be pounding the run a bit more, which will be a welcome change.
Pick: SF

The Economic Stomach Punch: A Comparative Analysis

Jack Chou — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 03:04:33 -0400

I’ve been looking for the proper metaphor for the stunning (and still continuing) crash of the stock market over the past two weeks, and I’ve finally found it: The Stomach Punch.

"The Stomach Punch" is a term coined by Bill Simmons in his ‘13 Levels of Losing‘ column. As Simmons puts it, the "Stomach Punch" is:

"Any roller-coaster game that ends with A) an opponent making a pivotal (sometimes improbable) play, or B) one of your guys failing in the clutch...usually ends with fans filing out after the game in stunned disbelief, if they can even move at all...always haunting, sometimes scarring... "

I think every poker player I’ve ever met has had at least one such "stomach punch" moment in his/her time playing. It’s the sickening feeling that comes from being blindsided with a horrific loss, usually following an extended period of good fortune.

The suddenness and degree of the stomach punch are its hallmarks. Maybe it’s a sick beat (”The guy had two outs with one to come...Two OUTS!”). Maybe it’s a cold deck. Maybe it’s getting outplayed/trapped. Whatever the case, there are two common ways to deal with it (in a cash game):

Feel your stomach knotting up while you slowly stand and stumble away, legs wobbly, head in a complete daze. You have a sudden urge to call loved ones just to hear the sound of humanity, or
In an opaque mental haze, reach into your wallet/clip and uncomfortably peel off a stack of bills to be put onto the table in a macho effort to win back your pride.

Neither feels good. One is, almost certainly, destined to make you feel worse in the morning.

The most real and human result of a "stomach punch" night is to wake up in the morning and question everything about your play. There is little that is more humbling than the continuous replaying of a hand gone wrong from the night before. It is a pure, introspective analysis, backed by the brutal honesty of big bills missing from your wallet. It is a sickening truth.

That’s how I feel about the market crash of the past week or two.

As a young man who only started making a salary four years ago, I’ve really never known negative results from investing in the market. Take a quick look at the Google Finance chart of the Dow from August 2004 through the beginning of this calendar year below.

In retrospect, it’s clear that a correction was probably in order—perhaps not to the upcoming degree, but it was inevitable. And sure, in hindsight, it’s simple to label its timing as obvious. But when you’ve never personally seen a downturn like this, it’s no different than seeing your opponent spike a two-outer on the River for a large sum of money.

You get that knot in your stomach as you count the basis (or, actually, percentage) points leak out of your portfolio.

Sure, more seasoned/experienced investors may have warned you it would come, but the reality doesn’t humble you until it actually happens.

Like the "stomach punch" in poker, the perspective I’m taking to this crisis is one of humility and reasoned introspection. I’ve found myself being very honest about my own lack of knowledge and particular mistakes.

I’m re-evaluating my appetite for risk-reward situations and questioning every assumption. It’s a healthy process, but it’s also brutal.

Did John McCain Pull a ‘Matt Doherty’?

Jack Chou — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 02:09:49 -0400

I don’t spend a lot of time writing about politics here, but I had an interesting insight while driving home today to watch the debate that fits pretty well on this blog: “Holy crap, John McCain just tried to pull a Matt Doherty on Barack Obama, with this crazy ‘halt the campaign and debate‘ thing.”

The strategy refers to a Doherty approach used in a 60-48 loss to Duke on March 8, 2002. Now, as you read this post and begin to wonder how in the WORLD I could remember some innocuous game from the worst season for North Carolina in the last 30+ years, just remember that 1) I’ve been a diehard UNC fan the last 15+ years, 2) I watch a LOT of basketball, and 3) I have a special dislike of Matt Doherty. Now, on to the show:

First, a couple of assumptions we’ll use to equate McCain to a particular Doherty strategy (these are necessary so that Chris Lin or other Republican-leaning people are still willing to read):

Assume that McCain is seeing the same polls that fivethirtyeight.com and other sites are reporting (i.e. slight slide relative to Obama).
Assume that, as a politician, McCain (like Obama and others) is morally capable of using the financial crisis as a prop in a particular tactic to win the election.

If you’re not going to just sing along with those assumptions for fun, then stop reading now.

In 2002, Doherty was busy driving the North Carolina program into the ground. Now, that’s not a material part of the story and in no way am I saying that John McCain is getting ready to lead this country into a hell hole which will have us aching for the days of George W Bush (read into that what you will).

Anyhow, the North Carolina team was so lacking in talent for a program of such prestige, that even Doherty knew the team was hosed. It turned out to be the season that broke UNC’s seemingly infinite run of NCAA tournament appearances, though we didn’t know it at the time.

On the day of the game, the only hope for making the tournament was to somehow triumph in the ACC tournament and win the automatic bid. It was with that backdrop that UNC met hated rival Duke (No. 3 in the country) in the Quarterfinals and Doherty choose to coin (in my mind) ‘pulling a Doherty’.

Knowing that the Duke team was “ahead in the polls” so to speak, Doherty had his players slow the game down to the point of pain. And I’m not talking about a Bo Ryan-like strategy where you play staunch defense and then come down the court to swing the ball 90 times until you get a layup.

I’m talking about Adam Boone bringing the ball across halfcourt and then standing still dribbling until the shot clock was down to 10 seconds before even making a single move.

It’s impossible to convey the outrageous-ness of the strategy, because the final score doesn’t represent the extent of how crazy it was. Duke would run down, score a quick bucket, and then Carolina would eat up 35 seconds (and hopefully get a bucket).

Usually when two teams score at such a low pace, it’s because of tough defenses holding each other to poor shooting. But I’d venture to guess Duke shot something like 55 percent in the game (unfortunately, ESPN has lost the box score to verify).

Remember, Duke was one of the more explosive NCAA teams of the past 20 years. They had put up 93 and 87 points in the first two meetings against Carolina that season.

It was awful. And as a North Carolina fan, it was unwatchable.

But it was also some sort of perverted genius. Doherty himself put it best after the game:

“You don’t want to have to play that way, but it was the only chance we had to win,” said Doherty, who had clearly been crying in the locker room.

“We worked on it and I went to Jason (Capel) and said this is the way we need to play to try to beat Duke and he said, `Let’s do it. I’m with you.’ And we thought we were going to win.”

(Side note: this type of garbage is why I try to block out the Matt Doherty years in my mind)

He was right, it really was the only possible way for Carolina to win. They had to shorten the game up, possessions-wise, to the point where the importance of every single individual possession was heightened. Where each shot, instead of being worth a tiny fraction of the game, was worth relatively double (or triple). And then Carolina just had to play hard and hope—hope for a slip-up that would be magnified in import due to the shortened game.

It’s a common practice by basketball and football teams (you see three or four teams do it to Peyton Manning and the Colts every year), but I vividly remember the Doherty game because of how explicit it was.

In essence, that’s what I think McCain was trying to accomplish this week. He saw an opportunity to shorten the game up. To magnify the impact of the debate and the last few weeks of the election by pushing things out.

Nevermind that there was noway he would actually be able to make a substantive difference (as he proved tonight in the debate, he and Obama both do not have depth of understanding on the economic crisis). With foreign policy (McCain’s clear advantage) being the focus of the first debate, he wanted to shorten its gap to Election Day as much as possible.

It was a crazy strategy, almost as crazy as Matt Doherty trying to turn a 40-minute game into a 25-minute one, but who knows… it could have worked.

NFL 2008 Picks: Week One

Jack Chou — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:09:52 -0400

Every year, I spend an inordinate amount of time watching and commenting on NFL games. Like most NFL fans, I think (probably incorrectly) that I can do a better job picking winners and losers than the Vegas sportsbooks can.

Of course, the whole reason those sportsbooks continue to exist is that, generally speaking, the vast betting public does not do a better job picking winners and losers. In fact, it’s an incredibly lucrative business because for the general public to even break even, it needs to pick correctly 11/21 times.

Anyhow, this season I’ve decided to sack up and actually see how I do against the spread, in public. All season, I’ll post my weekly picks against a well-known Vegas sportsbook (MGM Mirage).

I’ll pull the current point spreads a couple of days before the games start from vegasinsider.com, a fairly reputable site for such things. And then, every week, you can come back and see how I did (and laugh at me).

Here's week one:

Thursday

WAS (+4) at NYG
Return to glory for the Super Bowl champs? No Osi, no problem.
Pick: NYG

Sunday

DET (-3) at ATL
Rookie QB starting in his first NFL game? There’s no way I’m picking that.
Pick: DET

SEA (+1) at BUF
I like the Buffalo Bills as a trendy pick for the playoffs. I also love Trent Edwards.
Pick: BUF

NYJ (-3) at MIA
Game one of Brett Favre Era 2.0, but I’m not believing it.
Pick: MIA

KC (+16) at NE
No comment.
Pick: NE

TB (+3) at NO
Even though Jeff Garcia single-handedly ruined a Vegas weekend for me last year.
Pick: TB

STL (+7.5) at PHI
I like Philly this year, even against my old roommate.
Pick: PHI

HOU (+6.5) at PIT
Not really buying the Texans as a sleeper.
Pick: PIT

JAX (-3) at TEN
On the road for Jacksonville. Plus Jeff Fisher hates the Jaguars. I’ll take the points.
Pick: TEN

CIN (-1.5) at BAL
I just don’t really trust Cincinnati at all. Especially not on the road, in a divisional game.
Pick: BAL

CAR (+9) at SD
Remember the old days when Carolina was always a trendy pick to get to the Super Bowl?
Pick: SD

ARI (-3) at SF
The JTO/Martz Era is in full effect. I think we’re going to win outright.
Pick: SF

DAL (-4.5) at CLE
I don't even know what the over is on this game, but I’d take it.
Pick: DAL

CHI (+9.5) at IND
I have inside sources (Un-Pseudo Stoops) that say the Bears might be awful this year.
Pick: IND

Monday

MIN (+2.5) at GB
I saw Aaron Rodgers with my own eyes a few years ago—he is not Brett Favre.
Pick: MIN

DEN (-3) at OAK
I ended up drafting Jay Cutler in every fantasy league I’m in. Huge season coming up.
Pick: DEN

Morning Hoops: Olympic Basketball Provides a New Treat

Jack Chou — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 09:58:50 -0400

I’ve watched a lot of basketball over the years, but I can definitively say this is a true first for me: waking up before 6 a.m. to catch a b-ball game on TV. It’s halftime of the US vs. Australia game at the Olympics, and the US just hit a half-court shot to go up 12 right before the half. If you’re the Australians, don’t you have to wonder about those basketball gods?

I mean, shoot, they have LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and you give them crazy hits like that?!

Really, though, so far the Australians have effectively followed the playbook for how you stay with the Americans:

Neutralize ball pressure by attacking the basket with the dribble (sort of a staple of any offensive game plan against Mike Krzyzewski teams).
Don’t turn the ball over (I think they have seven or eight turnovers at the half, which, against Kobe & Co., qualifies as low-turnover basketball).
Try to make all the US shots difficult (or make the US shoot free throws). Hope the Americans get one of those free throw bugs, which seems to be working (I believe the US is 10-of-20 from the line in the first half.
Slow the game down as much as possible by getting everyone back on defense and sagging off the US shooters (and hope they don’t shoot like they did against Spain—working so far).
Bring in a thug to hack at the US star players to try to get someone thrown out. Dwight Howard almost fell for it when Carmelo Anthony was over-aggressively fouled.
Pray and get lucky.

Despite all that, they’re still down 12 at the half (though they were within six or seven for most of it).

Here comes the second half!

Why Packers Front Office Managemant Should Be Celebrating

Jack Chou — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 02:51:59 -0400

Unless you’ve been living in a hole for a few weeks (or you’re just not a football fan, which is probably the less likely of these two possibilities), you’ve heard quite a bit about the Brett Favre and Green Bay Packers saga which finally ended today with Favre being introduced as the new QB for the New York Jets.

The Packers-didn-t-act-sooner.html">Hashmarks blog on ESPN has a pretty good write-up about how it all went down. At the end of the day though, know this: The Green Bay Packers ended up with one hell of a deal out of an extremely difficult situation.

Last week a friend asked me what I thought the Packers should do and I honestly had no idea. They were basically in a rarely-seen lose-lose-lose situation. They could tell Favre to shut up and go away (PR disaster). They could tell Favre to come back (and look like desperate blowhards willing to bend at the waist for him). Or they could move Favre to another team (with the Vikings the most serious suitors at that point, which would have been truly disastrous).

Instead, here’s what they ended up with:

They moved Favre to an AFC team (meaning they probably will never have to stare at him on the other sideline)
They got (most likely) a 2nd or 3rd round pick
The situation ended with Favre actually looking like kind of the bad guy
They received closure of the most clear kind

And lest you think they didn’t get enough, let me remind you that in the NFL draft picks are king. If you can get a 2nd or 3rd round pick for an aging QB who missed most of your training camp and who was prone to suddenly throwing absurd interceptions at the most inopportune times, you probably do it. Hell, if Brett had never retired and you got an offer for a 2nd round pick you at least listen, right?

So if I’m Packers front-office management tonight I’m high-fiving my buddies and going out on a celebration binge. It sounds awful, but they basically pulled an eight out of a situation where any person in his right mind would have been happy with a three.

Why Does Steve Nash Get a Free Pass?

Jack Chou — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:18:36 -0400

Regular readers will know that I have an almost unhealthy dislike of the Suns, and vehemently disagree with Steve Nash as MVP the last few seasons.

Currently, I’m watching the Suns-Spurs game four. Phoenix is playing their asses off, but hey, when you’re down 3-0, maybe you should do that.

Assuming this series ends as it should (with the Spurs getting it done), that would mean the Suns have been punted from the playoffs AGAIN before the NBA Finals (much less an actual championship). When you have a two-time NBA MVP on your team who is in the prime of his career, usually that would mean you’re getting ripped apart in the press for not being able to win when it counts. But for some reason, nobody gives Steve Nash shit for that. Why?

I have a couple of simple explanations. I’m interested to hear what other people think it is.

1) “Oh, Nash isn’t really like Lebron or Kobe or somebody like that. He needs the others around him to step up to win at that level.” Well, in that case, why the HELL was he the MVP before?

2) “Nash is white, so we don’t get on him.” I’m sorry, to me this seems like the only other logical explanation.

The bottom line is that nobody (the media, fans, etc.) seems to hold Steve Nash to the same standards we hold other NBA MVP’s. When he loses, nobody’s surprised, and nobody calls him a choke.

Ask yourself, honestly, why is that?

NBA Payoffs: The Ascension of Chris Paul

Jack Chou — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:31:15 -0400

I think it was only a matter of time (after all, I’ve been pumping him up for years), but it looks like Chris Paul is going to be using these playoffs to announce his ascension to the NBA point guard throne. You don’t throw up 32 points and 17 assists on Jason Kidd (even a mid-30’s Jason Kidd) unless you are that player.

Just watch the ESPN video clip of last night’s highlights. Notice how many of the plays involve the common thread of Paul, having the ball in his hands, scoring or finding shots for other players. I mean, look at the other players on his team: Tyson Chandler (who has magically thrived for the first time on Paul’s team), David West (now an NBA All-Star simply by knocking down the mid-range jumpers that Paul finds for him), and Peja (an aging shooter who is suddenly looking like his old self).

So everyone watch carefully as he firmly entrenches himself in the upper tier of NBA stars over the next few weeks. Kobe, Lebron, Tim Duncan, KG, and Chris Paul. That’s it.

Stanford Basketball: An Open Letter to a Traitor

Jack Chou — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:08:22 -0400

Dear Mike Montgomery,

First off, thank you for making Stanford Mens Basketball a relevant program in the college basketball scene. What you were able to do over the years to overcome the strict admissions requirements of Stanford was nothing short of amazing. A Final Four appearance, four conference championships, and perennial standing in the top few of the competitive Pac-10 is tremendous, no matter the school.

To do that at Stanford where the players actually have to be able to read, write, and speak coherent English? Remarkable.

That being said, I heard today that you’re going to be the new basketball coach at Cal. If that’s true: thank you.

Over the past eight years, I can’t count the number of times I’ve defended you. Even when our teams choked year after year in the NCAA tournament (2001, 2004), I pinned it on bad shooting days, poor luck, and lack of athleticism. I told myself that we should be lucky to have a nationally-competitive team—“what amazing coaching to lose to Alabama!”

When you ditched Stanford for The League, I convinced myself that all Cardinal fans should be happy for you to go get paid. When you completely stank it up as an NBA coach, demonstrating a shocking lack of creativity and ability to relate to players, I blamed it on “the players that wouldn’t listen.” When Nellie came along and took that (mostly identical) team to the playoffs, I said, “Well, Monty’s style just works better for college.” Basically, I deluded myself in every way because you were the guy who made the program relevant.

So thank you for clearing my head up. Instead of sorting out another way to defend you, I can just move on and start hating you.

In 2001, Stanford choked in the Elite 8 (and almost choked in the two rounds before that). In 2004, Stanford choked in the second round. And you know what? I’m going to start blaming those on you. You were a shitty NBA coach. You were an asshole for coming back to Stanford this part year, and then jumping ship like a mercenary for Cal.

And Cal? You might think you’re going to make that program a national power now, since you can recruit academically-retarded kids who don’t give a shit about school, but I know you won’t. I know because the Basketball Gods will not let someone so sinister win (and because UCLA and USC will out-recruit you for those players). And (believe me, this pains me to say it), if somehow your team is good enough, you’re going to choke like I know you can.

So congratulations, Monty. You just made me excited for next year’s Pac-10 basketball season. I can’t wait to root against Cal (and you!) in every game. Suck it Cal.

Sincerely,
Jack

P.S. Mike Lee was right, that was a class-less move to call out Billy Donovan years ago. You’re an asshole.

Matt Leinart: The Really Painful NFL Lifestyle

Jack Chou — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:43:33 -0400

Apparently it’s really rough being young, incredibly wealthy, and famous. Just check out how Matt Leinart, Arizona Cardinals’ QB and probably better known in the tabloids than on the field, is living his life:

Among the four photos splashed across Web sites thedirty.com and TMZ.com over the weekend, Leinart was shown assisting a co-ed drinking from a beer bong in one and sharing a hot tub with four women in another.

ESPN: Whisenhunt has chat with Leinart after photos hit Internet
If you’re one of those religious types, you should probably start praying/meditating/etc. for Leinart. It sounds like he’s having a really rough time…

Let's Go Stanford: In the Comfort of My Own Home

Jack Chou — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 02:07:39 -0400

It was at some moment late in the second half of the UCLA-WKU game tonight when I came to the (fairly easy) decision: I’m going to watch the Stanford-Texas game tomorrow in the silence of my own house.

It’s not that I dislike loud sports bars, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s just that if I hear one more basketball “fan/expert/follower” mutter something really idiotic behind me during MY team’s game, I will probably lose my mind and commit a felony. (Seriously, to the UCLA “fan” who announced with confidence, and without sarcasm, in the second half that, “Maybe Ben Howland needs to hire an offensive coordinator” to focus on the team’s ‘lack of motion’: please just quit on life.)

Sometimes a game is serious enough that you need to be able to utter the words, “Nice hedge,” in the middle of a game and expect that all individuals in the room (even if it’s just you) will understand what you mean. That’s not too much to ask, is it?