Bleacher Report - Articles by Walden Boll

Sports Are Always More Fun in the Dark

Walden Boll — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 09:56:47 -0500

As a child, I can remember dreading when the sun went down.

After school I would get to play a game of catch with some of my buddies, toss around a football, or put together an impromptu match of soccer. However, the sun setting was a natural referee's whistle blow signaling the end of the fun. Apparently children having fun outside in the dark is "dangerous" for many reasons, and even if our parents didn't mind, it was hard to see where anything was.

The other day I came across a cool new pair of shoes on one of my favorite websites - glow-in-the-dark soccer shoes. This discovery led me to think of all the other nighttime sporting equipment that I wish I had as a kid which would allow us to stay outdoors for a little while longer.

The darkness adds another layer of competitiveness and difficulty, which in turn makes them more fun—if you can see what's happening.

Light-Up Football

I've seen commercials for these before, but I have never owned a light-up football and I really want one. Even though it's been a long time since I was a child, I still think I would get pretty good use out of one of these. I think Nerf sells one, but I found a company that specializes in light up sports gear.

Who hasn't wanted to toss around a football at 2 AM? This would be great to use if you had a postgame tailgate that lasted into the late hours of the night, and totally tells observers, "Hey, I am a football fan, but at the same time, I want to be aware of where my ball is when it is dark."

Reflective Running Jackets

It's common knowledge that reflective jackets, tape, headbands, and even blinking lights exist to keep walkers and runners safe at dusk and dawn, but I don't think people give these items much credit for how useful they really are.

The way I see it, they are similar to bicycle helmets—you're supposed to wear them because it keeps you safe, but you think you're "cool" when you don't wear them. But think of professionals, a la Lance Armstrong, who wear them and they're cool.

Reflective jackets not only allow you to run at the hours which may be most convenient for you, but they keep people safe at those poorly-lit hours (statistics could not be found, see here). Smart people in the reflective industry have now even designed reflective jackets for dogs to wear. Now Spunky can jog safely too.

Laser Tag

Here is one that I did own for a while, but do not remember what happened to my set: laser tag. Who doesn't like shooting their friends?

This gateway game to paintball is a load of fun and playing it at night makes it even more enjoyable. Most of the sets have glow-in-the-dark pieces so it's not impossible to spot your friends, and I remember seeing a set that "bleeds" a noise if you get shot, similar to how an animal may bleed if you don't get the one-shot-kill.

Similar to watching a movie or sleeping, laser tag is more enjoyable in the dark.

Nike's Air Zoom Control II Indoor with Multi-Color Patch Design

While a light-up soccer ball may be a little more important to the overall success of a nighttime game of soccer, a pair of Nike Air Zoom Control II Indoor with Multi-Color Patched are this year's big sunglasses. They're kind of obnoxious, but you can't help but love them, just like the rest of the Nike air zoom controls.

As if the bright colors weren't enough, the shoes glow when the lights are off, alerting everyone that your shoes are still awesome when the lights are off. They are indoor shoes, but that just means you can wear them out in public to show them off. Additionally, the air zoom controls are well made of Kangaroo leather.

I don't recommend wearing the Nike Air Zoom Controls while playing laser tag, as they may give away your position.

Three Things for Which Every Soccer Fan Should Be Thankful

Walden Boll — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 07:20:39 -0500

Thanksgiving is coming up, and rather than thinking about buying Christmas presents or how little you actually want to see your Aunt Marge, you should be thinking of things that you are thankful for.

This is a fun exercise for everyone, even if you aren't American.

3. We're Right in the Middle of a Great EPL Season

It doesn't matter which team is your true favorite, if you're a soccer fan, you can sit down and watch any match of soccer and enjoy it. You'll want your rivals to lose and your rival's rivals to win.

We've seen Manchester City beat Arsenal, Anelka of Chelsea score 12 goals so far this season, and The Baggies play a... terrible season.

Next Saturday we have some good matches coming up—Middlesbrough vs. Newcastle United should be a decent watch, and Sunday has even better matches: Man City vs. Man United and Chelsea vs. Arsenal.

2. FOX Soccer Channel

It may be hard for you to catch all the good games when they happen due to your schedule or your location. Living in the U.S., I know that I am thankful for the FOX Soccer Channel on my DIRECTV.

It's great to just turn on at work because they're always playing a match, usually from the last couple of days. Rather than just hearing about an amazing goal, I get to see them. Additionally, they play live games, too. That's more than just a bonus for a great channel—it's a deal breaker.

1. - Christmas is Nearly Here!*

Being a soccer fan is not only great in itself, but great for people who know you. My sister is an avid soccer fan and player and nearly every year for Christmas or her birthday I get her a soccer jersey or a pair of women's soccer cleats or soccer shoes.

I don't want to sound materialistic, but you can have all the pride in the world for you club, but the only real way to show is to go to the games and wear your team's gear.

Who knows? Maybe your Aunt Marge will get you some soccer apparel this year—you can always bring it up this Thursday at the dinner table.

* NOTE: I am not suggesting that you "should" be excited for Christmas if it is not your religion. You can also substitute Christmas for Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Secular Christmas.

Top 6 Spiteful Things to Give Any Soccer Enthusiast For Christmas

Walden Boll — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 04:54:10 -0500

Christmas is just around the corner. There will be plenty of people telling you "the perfect" gifts to give any soccer fan, but you won't find any guides that tell you what to get a soccer fan you don't care for much, or one that you want to get a reaction out of.

Warning: Give at your own risk!

6. Expired Match Tickets

This one is just flat out mean. And kinda cheap. You're basically paying for a piece of paper that has expired. This gift is extra cruel if it is to a match they really wanted to go to, or one you went to instead of them.

5. Something that Reminds Them of Better Seasons Past

Good fans stick to a team through the rough years, and a reminder that they're not on top will get chuckles from friends. A DVD of highlights from the 1990 Liverpool victory is sure to bring up some harsh feeling to a Liverpool FC fan.

Basically you're telling them, "Remember that one season where your team didn't suck? Yea, it was a long time ago." It's mean and funny, and will probably get a spiteful reaction out of the recipient.

4. The Wrong Kind of Football

While I call it soccer, I respect people who call it football (unless you're an American, then you're being confusing). If you give a soccer fan an American football ball and insist that it is the "real" football or a "real" sport, you're going to get anger. Don't be surprised if they throw it in your face, although they might not have good aim, being soccer fans.

3. A Framed Magazine or Newspaper Article Highlighting the Transfer or Failure of a Beloved Player

We all have our favorite soccer players, though we rarely have any control over what they do. A good fan will stick with a player if they are transferred to another team or make an embarrassing mistake on or off field. You can get a good stir of your buddy if you find an article of some embarrassing news for that player and get it framed.

Check for back issues of FourFourTwo or 90Minutes or other soccer magazines.

2. A Jersey for a Team They Hate

Any good soccer fan, make that sports fan, knows that rivalries are some of the most exciting parts of the sport. If your buddy loves Real Madrid, a Barcelona jersey is sure to get them worked up. Make sure you get it in their size as an added insult that you "know him" so well that you know his size.

1. An Altered Jersey from Their Favorite Team

While a jersey from a team they hate may seem like a spiteful gift to give, graffiti or dishonoring something they love is even harsher. Many people take personal offense to when people insult their team, so playing off this is the best way to upset a soccer fan.

Giving a Beckham fan a Beckham jersey with extra letters to make it say "Becklame" or Man United fan a Manchester United jersey with "wanker" on the back are just a few ideas of ways to directly insult the team they love so much.

Be careful though, some people may not think it's funny at all and make a swing for you.

What do you think? Have you ever given any of these? Will you give any of these ideas this Christmas? Have you ever received any of these things? Did I forget anything from this list? Let me know in your comments below.

How To Recognize a Real Manchester United Fan

Walden Boll — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 04:27:57 -0500

Manchester United may be one of most well known sports teams in the world. With fans in the UK, US, and all over the rest of the world, how do you know if somebody knows that they are a truly dedicated fan.

Only a "Real" Manchester United fan will have the following characteristics:

1 - Have Been to Old Trafford

Old Trafford stadium is like the Mecca for Manchester United fans. Even if you don't live in Manchester or even England, visiting Old Trafford is a requirement. Even when empty, it stirs up emotions about one of the best soccer teams if you are a fan.

2 - Have Seen a Manchester United Match Live

I'm not talking about "I saw it live on the television" excuses here, I'm talking about sitting in one of the 76 thousand seats at Old Trafford and watching the match with thousands of other fans. This one seems to make the most sense–how can you be a fan of something if you haven't experienced it? This may be a difficult feat for an international fan of the FC, but it can be done.

A true fan won't worry about time or money if they know what's really important. Bonus: You have seen one match ever season at Old Trafford for the past ten years.

3 - Have Enough Manchester United Gear to Clothe a Family of Four

If you were to die and all your clothes donated to a family, could they all wear Manchester United jerseys for an entire week without having to do laundry? If the answer is yes, then you can consider yourself a fan. Alright, this might be a stretch. Anybody can own just one jersey, but a real fan will have multiple jerseys.

Bonus: You have limited edition jerseys, historical jerseys, or an actual jersey wore during a game.

4 - Know More Facts about Manchester United than Their Own Family

Who coached Manchester United in 1982? Now who hosted your family's Christmas in 1982?

Which player scored the most goals in 2003? What did your mother give you for your birthday in 2003?

How many games did Manchester United win in their nineteenth season? How many times did you score when you were 19?

What year was Manchester United founded? When was your sister born?

Any true fan would know more of the first questions than the second. Bonus: You answered them all correctly.

5 - Drops Everything to Watch a Manchester United Game

This one is a no-brainer as well. A real fan will skip work, church, dinner, or their own birthday just to watch a Manchester United game. Bonus: You had to reschedule your wedding or other major event because of a Manchester United game.

So how did you stack up? How much did you score?

0/5 : Why are you reading this article?

1/5 : Fair-weather fan

2/5 :You probably value something like money or sleep more than Man United

3/5 : Not bad, but I think there are some 5 year olds who are beating you

4/5 : Not bad. You're a fan, but there is always room for improvement

5/5 : Good work. You are a "real" Manchester United fan

5/5 + Bonus : Wow! You should have written this list.

5/5 + All of the Bonuses : I'm afraid that you don't do anything other than watch or study Manchester United. Whatever makes you happy.