Bleacher Report - Articles by rob caldwell

Kobe Bryant's Career in Perspective

rob caldwell — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:40:18 -0400

It’s all but official now. Kobe has at last secured the elusive MVP that has rightly been his many times before.

The Lakers will finish with their conference’s best record, and the voters will have no excuse for not giving it to KB24.

But at this point, it will not be like a rush of adrenaline for his fans as much as like popping a joint back in place and getting some morphine to kill the pain.

So where does his legacy stand now? He is a sure bet Hall of Famer, and even his haters would agree he's top 20 all-time.

If he does indeed win the '07-'08 MVP, he will join some very elite company. How elite?

Players to collect at least one scoring title, MVP, and Championship: Jordan, Shaq, Wilt, Kareem, Dr. J (ABA scoring title), David Robinson, Bob McAdoo, and Kobe.

Players to collect all three aforementioned awards and be selected to an All-Defensive First Team: Jordan, Wilt, Kareem, Robinson, and Kobe.

Not too shabby. I could play this game all day.

"Assuming" (you can bet your left nut on it) Kobe gets selected to both the All-NBA First Team and All-Defensive First Team for the third straight year...

Players to be selected to at least six All-NBA and All-Defensive First Teams: Tim Duncan, Jordan, and Kobe.

Players to have an MVP, a Scoring Title, a Championship, and at least six All-Defensive First Teams: Jordan and Kobe.

Now these awards are nice, but what kind of "How awesome is Kobe" game would this be without stats?

Now as many of you know, Kobe's career averages are hindered by his jumping straight from high school.

It's an especially tough transition for guards, as the game is more complicated for them than for big men. The physical differences between young guards and 25-20 year old guards is greater than the physical differences between young big men and 25-30 year old big men.

(LeBron's a freak of nature, and somewhere between guard and big man anyway.)

So let's knock off his first four years for "college" and see what comes out, shall we?

Kobe's Career Stats: A PPG of 28.98, or 29 with standard rounding. Third best all-time behind Jordan and Wilt at 30.1, and far ahead of fourth place Allen Iverson at 27.7 and falling.

Think that's cool? Watch this.

In Jordan's highest scoring season, 1987-88, the median PPG of all NBA teams was 108.0 on the dot.

In Chamberlain's highest scoring year, 1961-62, it was 118.9.

In Kobe's highest scoring year, 2005-06, it was only 97.4!

The pace of the game has slowed so far in recent years, Kobe's PPG is even more amazing relative to the past. To adjust his scoring to the pace of the games when Jordan played, his career average would be 32.6. In Chamberlain's time it would've been 35.4!

So if Kobe had gone to college for four years, he would have the highest relative career scoring average ever.

I'm tired of research, but I hoped you had fun reading this. It's not Harvard grade analysis, but it's pretty darn cool.

Fouling, Cheating, and Flopping: Oils That Grease the NBA

rob caldwell — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:17:36 -0400

Thanks to Akoma Rodriguez for the idea. Check out his article "Top Flop: NBA Playoffs Bring Flopping to Center Stage."

Flopping is just too common in every game I watch. Not on my teams, though, they never flop. It’s everybody they play that's creating these problems. Damn all those cheaters on every team but mine.

This problem is big, really big. Innovators like Lambieer, Rodman and Vlade Divac (I cannot believe Akoma didn't mention him) have bred a young generation of talented floppers like Raja Bell, Ginobili, and Cleveland’s entire front line.

It’s not just flopping though. Kobe Bryant (my favorite player) is extremely "good" at getting guys to jump at him before he shoots with a pump, and then jumping so that they collide mid-air, obviously getting him to the line.

That move is so common now that commentators talk about it openly like an admirable skill. I remember Mike "The Czar" Fratello acting confused when a player popping a three moved out of the way of an oncoming air-born defender.

"Creating contact in the lane" is a cliché that refers to making a foul out of nothing. The NBA is just saturated with this stuff.

I think this could be the major reason the NBA has image issues .(Aside from players beating the sh** out of fans, murdering their limo drivers, beating their wives, carrying guns, throwing truck parties, smoking pot, shamelessly tanking, making cameo's in underground movies that advise drug dealers on how fight the man, and Kwame Brown.)

Basically this is the only sport in the world where getting the opponent to do something against the rules is not only accepted, but is a fundamental skill.

Receivers in the NFL don't risk not making a catch to get a pass interference call. Batters in the MLB don't try and trick the pitcher into hitting them. Hockey players don't smack their faces into other players sticks. Golfers don't... golfers don't... uhhh...hmmmm. Slip each other steroids? They don't right? I wouldn't know.

This might be why the college game garners so much more praise and adoration. Those kids still have an amount of innocence left; they don't want to cheat to win.

But the NBA is a game that is centered around plays that are supposed to be illegal. Having a foul to give is a lauded advantage on crucial plays. What does that mean? That you can use something against the rules to your advantage? Not even by doing it subtly, but by blatantly breaking the rules.

In fact, in doing it in a manner MEANT to be seen, you gain an edge. That and "inventing" fouls to get to the line or gain possession are skills more used than the pick.

What kind of game is that?

PS: I think I'm going to start linking to this page at the end of every article, relevancy be damned. This really is hilarious. I want you to try to imagine what's going through Zach's mind, and then Isiah's afterwards:

http://basketbawful.blogspot.com/2008/02/zach-randolph-and-worst-possession-i.html

Pimping Psycho T: What Are Tyler Hansbrough's Pro Prospects?

rob caldwell — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:07:31 -0400

Have you ever had a feeling? Like when you're on the freeway and there's this car in front of you with the turn signal on, but you're nowhere near an exit, and they're going under the speed limit, and you just blurt out " That's gotta be an old woman!" Then everyone in the car takes offense at it, until you drive up next to the Ford Crown Victoria in question, and not only is she old and female, she's Asian too? That's the sort of vibe I get when I think about Psycho T, Tyler Hansbrough of the North Carolina Tar Heels.

Everyone else is saying how he'll be lucky if he's drafted in the first round and gets in the rotation at all his rookie year. They got him pegged as a future role player, maybe a Shane Battier if he works his ass off. Well, I got a feeling, and its a lot like the feeling I had about a certain Darko Milicic in 2003, except in reverse. Back then I couldn't understand why everyone was so hot on a kid who scored 6 ppg in a crappy Euro-league. But I thought, what do I know? I just watch the NBA, maybe everybody knows something I don't, maybe he's worth passing on Melo and Wade. Well, as you might imagine, ever since then I've become very much assured in my gut feelings, and my gut says Psycho T (coolest nickname ever) is gonna be one awesome NBA player.

Why, or more appropriately, how you ask? I dunno exactly. He's tall, but not that tall. He's not going to dominate at 6'9". Nowadays with Dirks, LeBrons, Melos, and T-Macs popping up everywhere, 6'9" is the new 6'. If you're not 7', you'd sure as heck better be hitting 20 foot j's and locking down on perimeter defense. Not really his strengths (Davidson might disagree). But there is just something about that guy, the way he plays, his focus, his smarts, his clutch cool, his self-confidence, whatever, that makes me believe there's no way he will settle for anything less than All-Star performance. He's like a marine in Crysis (obscure?), he'll walk on water if that's what it takes.

He wouldn't be the first guy everybody counted out that made them eat their words. Some of the greatest players in history were draft sleepers. Stockton and his heterosexual life-mate Malone, Bill Lambieer, Alex English, Mo Cheeks, Big Ben, the list goes on. Notice a theme with these players? All of them were/are (does Ben count as an "are"?) as hard working as any players ever seen. Malone's commitment to fitness was legendary, Stockton was a short, skinny white guy whose had as many perfect (no games missed) seasons as fellow models of effort Michael Jordan, Shane Battier, Tim Duncan, Kobe Bryant, and Steve Nash combined. Bill Lambieer terrorized opponents with relentless effort on offense and physical, bone jarring (read: dirty) defense.

So how does Hansbrough stack up against these all-time greats? Besides having one of the greatest collegiate careers ever, he matches all of the focus, intensity, commitment, and drive these legends are known for. You might just say they're all a little Psycho..

Is Kobe Bryant Losing the MVP to Chris Paul?

rob caldwell — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:10:10 -0400

One long, long month ago, the MVP race was locked up. It was a one-man show, a one-horse race, and Kobe Bryant was the man-horse.

Now I'm beginning to think he's more of a girl-pony.

I know many of you want to kill me for that last sentence, but I want you to know I am as big of a Kobe fan as there is. I bleed purple and gold, okay? I have loved the Lakers through these painful last three years, and even though I had foot surgery that day, I jumped out of my chair when Smush stole the ball from Nash in the waning seconds, and Kobe threw up an off-balance-juke-one-handed-teardrop-floater to send the game into overtime in the '06 playoffs.

(I remained seated when he drained a free-throw line fade-away over defensive-first teamer Shawn Marion to win it. I mean, I saw that coming as soon as he took the inbounds pass. Plus my left foot was covered in blood. Glorious, purple and gold blood.)

So why do I, of all people, believe KB24 won't, and probably shouldn't, win the MVP in 2008? Especially after being overlooked so many deserving seasons? Two reasons: The Lakers are playing like girl-ponies, and CP3 is just too damn good.

Explaining reason one:

Charlotte Bobcats?? Memphis Grizzlies?? OH MY GOD!! Those guys are in the Michael Beasley sweepstakes, they don't even WANT to win! I literally felt sick when I saw those scores, like someone punched me in the jejunum. I know they've been plagued with injuries, but there's a limit. When one game could mean the difference between being the No. 1 seed and not having home court advantage, scrubs like that shouldn't even get within single digits.

And its not just the losses that are adding up—it's Kobe's numbers in the wins. That second game against Golden State where they struggled to pull out a win? Kobe shot more than 10 percent worse than the rest of the team from the field, but decided to take the most shots anyway. If Lamar Odom hadn't gone 70 percent from the floor and grabbed 21 rebounds, it would've been two in a row dropped to the Warriors.

The Wizards game? He shot 29.2 percent on field goals. That's about 30 percent worse than the rest of the team. That's about 30 percent worse than the rest of the team. That's about 30 percent worse than the rest of the team. Emphasis. But he still decided to attempt 24 FGs, which was exactly twice as many shots as the next highest Laker (Derek Fisher, who scored 15 points on 12 FGAs), and more than double the shots of Vlad-Rad, who scored 18 points on only 11 shots.

Sure, he got 13 assists, but he should have sacrificed 10 of those shots for another 10 assists and just blown out the Wiz, instead of having to beat a weak Eastern team in overtime. Speaking of making assists over taking shots...

Chris Paul, otherwise known as Reason Two.

Wow. Simply wow. Everyone on planet Earth simply fawned over Steve Nash four years ago when he joined the Phoenix Suns, and what were his stats during his two MVP years? 17.2 points, 11.0 assists, and 0.9 steals per game. In case you've been under a rock, in outer space, or dead this year, here's CP3's line: 21.5 points, 11.4 assists, and 2.7 steals.

(I'm not listing rebounds because they're point guards, and they both pretty much suck at it.)

Those are some historic numbers. I'm talking never-before-seen numbers. Isiah Thomas never had a season with more than 20 points, 10 assists, and 2.5 steals per game. Neither did Magic, Jason Kidd, John Stockton...or anyone, actually. Ever. In NBA history. Not once. And if you think those overall numbers are impressive, check out his numbers post All-Star break:

23.7 points, 12.5 assists, and 2.95 steals.

Did your head just explode? Mine did.

And of course there is the small, almost insignificant issue that I wasn't sure I should mention, but aw what the heck, here goes: He's leading a team of also-rans who were projected to miss the playoffs into first place in the most competitive conference in NBA history. Yeah, I dunno—I just think its cool, I guess.

So given all of the above—and I admit this article was very biased, and mentioned none of the amazing things Kobe has done this year—Chris Paul is the MVP. And if you think either KG (not even the best player on his team), or LeBron (Fight for that fourth seed in the east! Fight for it!) are the MVP, please don't even comment on this post. Your time would better be spent finally getting that G.E.D., working on your fry-serving skills, mastering an automatic car, or just shooting yourself in the face to prevent any chance of you reproducing, thereby making humanity a fitter, better people.

As for arguments for Kobe, I'm all ears. (Please convince me he'll win. Please.)