Bleacher Report - Articles by George Herron

God Help Us, Everyone: Ideas for Fixing the Bengals

George Herron — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 08:44:49 -0400

How do you hurt a man that doesn't care? How do you make a man who "knows" he is right, see that he is wrong? This is the problem that Bengals fans have stewed over for at least the last 17 years.

Since 1991, when Mike took over this team there has only been one moment when Cincinnati believed that Mike had seen the error in his controlling ways, it was when he hired Marvin Lewis as the head coach in 2003. Alas, Mike proved that Marvin has never really had any control when Mike brought back Chris Henry this year, despite Marvin public saying on several occasions, that Chris would never play in Cincinnati again.

With an 0-8 start it is clear that this problem not only has to be addressed, but solved. For the sake of this franchise there needs to be a way to make Mike see what he is doing, because clearly he lives in some cave in a bizzarro universe to not already know what he is doing.

What has not worked:

Boycott buying team merchandise. These are pennies to Mike, he could care less if a bunch of people decide not to buy some jerseys or golf club covers.

Going to the stadium to boo the team. As long as you are going to the game and paying for that ticket Mike doesn't care what you do when you are there. You can boo, scream something obscene, expose yourself to his daughter, or throw things at the players. As long as you entered the gate by a ticket then it is all good to Mike.

Call radio/T.V. shows and complain openly about Mike and the "team" he has assembled. As I stated before he lives in some under ground bunker, surrounded by a force field, in some alternate universe, so getting through medias in this universe is a little difficult, by the time it gets to him it is slightly distorted.

Fly a banner over the stadium. Mike has Akili Smith, Mathias Askew, Odell Thurman, Jeff Rowe, Dan Wilkinson, and KiJana Carter on the roof with .50 caliber sniper rifles with orders to shoot down any plane with a banner that comes within five miles of the stadium. And everyone thought that those guys were wasted draft picks?!

New ideas to try:

In all seriousness we need hit Mike Brown where it will hurt him the most, and no I don't mean in the face, although...Anyway in order to get Mike's attention everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs to get serious about not renewing their season tickets, not buying tickets for the rest of this year, not showing up, not tail-gating, nothing.

Paul Brown Stadium needs to look like the rest of downtown Cincinnati on a Saturday at 6:00 pm, a ghost town. If there was a way to actually organize this and have people be patient and stick to the plan then we would be able to hit Mike Brown in the wallet and force him to sell or move.

Of course this is a pipe dream and I don't think you could convince enough people in Cincinnati to make a difference. So I will list other more unorthodox methods that I came up with that might work as well.

Celebrity intervention. Of course Dr. Phil would have to be the host and some Bengals fans with bags on their heads could be sitting there with Mike as Dr. Phil tried to explain that Mikes inner demons were preventing this team from growing to the team it could be.

The "fans" would turn out to be relatives of Mikes and there would be tears and hugs and maybe Mike would then be forced to leave bizzarro world and face the reality of a terrible team.

Get to the sniper team. I have said it before and I will say it again, there is a distinct possibility that this will never change until Mike is dead, by either natural means or otherwise.

If someone could convince one of his own snipers, I would suggest Jeff Rowe, sadly he is the most accurate of the group, to turn the gun on Mike himself then the problem is solved. Jeff would need to invoke the power of Lee Harvey and his magic bullets , and here, to make it happen though.

Remake "A Christmas Carol." Playing the role of Ebenezer Scrooge will of course be Mike Brown, playing Jacob Marley will be Sam Wyche, playing the ghost of seasons past will be his father, Paul Brown, playing the ghost of the present will be Marvin Lewis, and playing the ghost of seasons future will be Art Modell. Who better to tell Mike about his future if he continues to neglect this team?

This is a made for TV movie waiting to happen and I better had see some money from it. Perhaps seeing all he has NOT done, and seeing where he is taking this team, where it is destined to go, maybe that will scare him enough to get his shit together. Or perhaps seeing Art Modell, the man that fired his father would be enough to motivate him.

Past all that I have no idea how to make this man see how he is destroying this team. In a year when Matt Millen was finally fired, you would think that Mike might see the light, but I guess there is no light in bizzarro land.

God help us, everyone.

0-8, Bengal Fans Let's Celebrate!

George Herron — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 08:02:50 -0400

There is no better of a way to get to that halfway point in the season than with the worst loss of the year to a team that only had two wins previous to the meeting themselves.

It was a 29 point drumming that saw no offensive touchdowns from the Bengals the whole game. Poor Dave Lapham was thinking that the Bengals were going to score a touchdown for the first time all year in the first quarter, before the toothless Bengals had to settle for a field goal.

What can I even say about this team that has not already been said? Not only said, but beat to death.

I guess I can say that this was just a beat down in ever respect of the game. Marvin and crew were out coached, and the players were playing the most un-inspired football I have ever seen. I mean it looked like the Texans were the Globetrotters and the Bengals were whatever team was getting paid to go out and get embarrassed that week.

Which brings me to another point, what are the Bengals getting paid for? Antwan Odom and Robert Gathers are making huge money to not do a damn thing. The Bengals might be the worst evaluator of talent at defensive end ever.

They over drafted Justin Smith to under produce. Justin was a great man and a good player, just not what we needed out of a No. 4 overall pick, he never even got into double digit sacks for a single season. Every year after that we have drafted at least one defensive end, none of which have panned out. We did throw allot of money at Robert Gathers though, after what would appear to be a fluke season of 10.5 sacks.

The play that really summed up this season so far for me though was watching Jonathan Joseph play two hand touch with Kevin Walter. I mean the Bengals tackling has been terrible all year and really for the last ten years that I can remember. It is like they are being coached to throw shoulder pads at the offense, or just push them out of bounds. It is a rare occasion to see a Bengals player hit someone and wrap.

I was taught that in pee-wee football, but somewhere along the line they stopped listening and focusing on trying to make SportsCenter highlights with "big hits." But to watch Jonathan Joseph completely lose focus and try to "down" a guy that was up and running was just embarrassing.

It really sums up the whole season; lack of focus, lack of killer instinct, lack of passion, lack of want. So instead of just giving up a big play we let them have 6 points off a touchdown because the Bengals players have quit.

Observations.

The Bengals are late. They are late to get pressure on the quarterback, they are late swarming to the ball, they are late covering receivers. Time after time they seem to get to where they are supposed to be a second too late. They hit the quarterback after he releases the ball, I am still waiting for the roughing the passer flag that is long over due. They seem to get to the receiver after he is turning to head up field.
Am I wrong or isn't the point of coverage to try and stop the pass from completing? It seems like they are being coached to stop them from scoring after they catch the ball. And in the running game after three people either miss or over pursue then they will finally arm tackle or throw their shoulder pads at someone, but not tackle properly.

Ryan Fitzpatrick and Ryan Freel are the same person. Neither are gifted with superior athletic ability, but they both will give you 100 percent when they are in the game. Ryan Fitzpatrick has not won a game that he has started in the NFL and this will not change anytime soon. It is strange to watch him, because I silently root for him because I know he is trying, he is just not very good.

Cedric Benson had eight rushes for 41 yards at half time. Strange, seeing those number you would have thought that perhaps they would have tried to run the ball more often. I mean at the half they were only losing 14-6, they could have still tried to run the ball.

When do we get to see Anthony Collins? I am tired of having to watch Levi Jones and Stacy Andrews get beat, or get false start penalties because they know they are going to get beat.

Dexter Jackson looks horrible. He looks slow and old. I would rather have Marvin White in there making mistakes and learning than have to watch Dexter Jackson get beat deep, or pile on as the fourth person to make the tackle and be the first to celebrate. What is the point of having him in there at this point? He does not help and Marvin, "The Future," is not learning a damn thing except how to guard the water bottles.

What got me through the game.

Matt, my brother in law, took video footage of Brian, my other brother in law, singing and "dancing" in his bedroom. Easily some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen, and way more amusing than the game. As a matter of fact I kind of blanked out the entire third quarter laughing hysterically at the videos.

All the sudden it was 28-6 Houston and I had reached a level of apathy that I thought I would never reach, I had just missed an entire quarter and I didn't even care. Not only that, but I would have rather been playing Guitar Hero World Tour that came out that day. WOW.

Over/Unders

Three and Outs;Four

Not covered. They only had three three and outs for the game. Not bad right? Add that to the three turnovers and it starts to get messy.

2. Special Teams Blunders; Three

Not covered. They only had one real glaring Special teams blunder that I can remember. But then again I did black out for a quarter. It was on the 4th play of the game where they allowed the Texans to return a punt for a touchdown.

3. Play Clock Blunders;Two

Again not covered. But as I said in my last post game blog, Marvin only likes to kill the time clock when the game was on the line. And anymore the game is over after the kickoff.

Game balls.

Matt, for that awesome video footage of Brian singing and dancing.

Jonathan Joseph, for reminding us that we are never too old, or get paid too much money to play two hand touch.

My wife's crazy Aunt, who did not give the creepy back scratch to my father in law this weekend and saved me money in therapy bills later.

Who ever TPed my in-laws house this weekend, well done!

Halfway to the dream 0-8. I am trying not to get excited, but I think they have a real shot at it now. Houston and Kansas City are the biggest obstacles this year to going 0-16 and we got by Houston in a big way.

Since the Chiefs are the last game of the year I imagine this team to be so demoralized that they might not even show up, hell they are barely showing up now!

The only excitement that I can muster for the rest of the year is to see who will win first the Bengals or the Lions. I give the edge to the Lions since they made a huge step this year and fired Matt Millen and the Bengals have yet to do a damn thing. Keep that ship on a steady course Marvin, don't you dare rock the boat.

No Deals for the Bengals

George Herron — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 05:46:11 -0400

I know it is a rare occasion for big trades to happen in the NFL, especially in the middle of the season, but this is where I think baseball is smarter than football.

In baseball you see a flurry of trades at the deadline, normally involving players that have expiring contracts and teams that are not in contention deal high priced, or expiring players that they know they can't sign to teams that need that one piece for a playoff run.

For example the Reds, having no real hope of making the playoffs, traded Ken Griffey Jr., and Adam Dunn near the deadline and got a few prospects for them. Both the Diamondbacks(Dunn), and the White Sox (Griffey) were looking at the playoffs.

Enter the Bengals, who clearly have no shot at going to the playoffs, unless they run the table and that is just not possible, not with this team. So, with no shot at the playoffs, and with a need to either free up money or get more draft picks to save the ailing team, the Bengals do nothing at the trade deadline.

Like I said I am not totally surprised since NFL teams are content to just let a free agent walk in the off season and not get anything for him. But here is what bothers me and I have suspicions. The Dallas Cowboys and the Detroit Lions made a deal, and if you ask me the Lions made off HUGE.

The Lions got a 1st, 3rd, and 6th round draft pick for Roy Williams, a wide receiver that they were probably not going to re-sign after this year anyway.

The Lions are in the same situation that the Bengals are in. They are winless, have no shot at the playoffs, have a good wide receiver that they will not re-sign, and a lot of holes to fill through the draft. I am not sure who called who, but I still say the Lions made off like bandits.

The Cowboys, while I am not surprised that they made a move, made a bad one. Jerry Jones loves to hit that panic button just like George Steinbrenner in New York does. The problem with both men, while they are passionate to win and I respect that, however, they don't always go get what they need.

Jerry made a deal with the Lions and gave away three draft picks in one draft to get a wide receiver on a team that already has one of the top three receivers in the league in Terrell Owens.

The defense is what has been killing Dallas this year, not the offense. I guess a 50 year old Zach Thomas at middle linebacker was not the answer!

Every game I have seen Dallas play, they have put up plenty of points and seemed to move the ball well on offense. They have one great quarterback, running back, one great tight end, one hall of fame receiver, and another good change of pace back.

The only issue maybe that their quarterback, Tony Romo, is not out 4 weeks with a broken pinky. But again they didn't trade for a quarterback, they went out and got a receiver that they really didn't need.

The "experts" are calling this a good trade for Dallas, but I think it was a bad move. I think that they could possibly salvage the deal if they can lock up Roy Williams for 4 years, but if they can not work out a deal then it was a total bust of a trade.

But here is where this trade really effects me, who called who? Did Dallas call Detroit, or did Detroit call Dallas? Who cares? I do.

If Dallas was calling around then you know that they called the Bengals to discuss Chad or TJ. And TJ is in the same spot with the Bengals that Roy was in with the Lions, contract is up at the end of the year and the team has not made an effort to re-negotiate.

And if Dallas did call and offered the same thing to the Bengals why in the hell didn't they jump on it? I would have preferred to trade Chad and free up some cash and resign TJ. I know TJ is older, but he does things that Chad can't/won't, like block, go over the middle, and catch a crucial third down pass.

But if it came down to it I would even be willing to part ways with TJ in order to get all those draft picks since this season is a wash anyway. At 0-6 you might want to starting looking towards the future.

Just for giggles I looked up some numbers to compare the three wide receivers that I have mentioned. To build anticipation I will give them fake names and there will be no bias. Well there will be a bias from the names that I give them, but I had to be funny.

Injury McDropsalot. Over four years he has averaged 913 yards, 7 touchdowns, and played 13.75 games. Age = 26

Consistant McToughnuts. Over four years has averaged 1040 yards, 8 touchdowns and played 15 games. Age = 31

Gatorarm McQuick. Over four years has averaged 1379 yards, 8 touchdowns and 16 played in 16 games. Age = 30

Now it would seem to me that either Consistant or Gatorarms would be a better option for the sheer fact that they play in more games. You are getting more for your money. The only upside that Injury has is that he is younger, but as we all know younger doesn't mean more talented. For clarification....

Injury = Roy Williams

Consistant = TJ Houshmandzadeh

Gatorarm = Chad Johnson

Now doesn't it seem more odd that Dallas would give up all of those draft picks for that guy? Are you ready for even more of a shocker? Randy Moss was traded from Oakland to the Patriots for a fourth round pick! Randy freaking Moss, who will in all likely hood be in the Hall of Fame.

Easily one of the best receivers of our generation and the Patriots got him for a fourth round pick, ONE fourth round pick. When I first thought about this I blew my own mind, so I will give you a moment to regroup from that mental bomb I just dropped on you..............

Something to keep in mind of course is that it was Oakland, a terrible franchise run by a senile old man in Al Davis, that traded Randy to the Patriots, who are run by Bob Kraft one of the smartest executives in all of football. It would be like Lenny, from "Of Mice and Men," trying to match wits with Bill Gates.

So in conclusion, the Lions get three additional draft picks for next year, and since they are just as terrible as the Bengals, they will have a top three pick on their own and I am looking at Dallas to sneak into the playoffs as a wild card team, but not much further, so they will also get a middle of the road pick as well.

Dallas gets a good receiver, I will not call him great, to crowd an already crowded offense. And the Bengals did nothing, as usual, to better their team either for now or for the future.

I have no idea what happened. If Mike Brown really does hate Jerry that much, because we all know Mike is stubborn enough, if Jerry never even called Mike, or if Detroit was the instigator.

But I do know that if Matt Millen was still in Detroit none of this would have happened. I miss you already Matt, since you are gone the Lions might have a chance to get better, which means the Bengals are again the laughing stock of the NFL.