Bleacher Report - Articles by Bill Kao

With the 2009 Team Choking, New York Mets Want to Fire Willie Randolph

Bill Kao — Sun, 03 May 2009 10:28:44 -0400

I came across this article on associatedcontent.com and thought I would share it with my beloved scumbag New York Mets fans:

"After another dramatic collapse at the end of 2008, David Wright's continuing struggles in the clutch, and a 9-12 start to the 2009 season, the New York Mets have contacted the Milwaukee Brewers and asked for permission to fire their bench coach, Willie Randolph.

"The firing of Randolph, for the second time in 10 months, is seen by club insiders and Mets fans alike as necessary, according to a source close to the team. 'Willie is a class act and a good baseball man, but it's clear these guys continue to not respond to him. They are playing very similarly now as when he was the manager. Somebody has to be held accountable.'"

Just think, you could have CC Sabathia on your team with his lovely record of 1-3.

UFC 101: Silva vs. Griffin in Philadelphia

Bill Kao — Sun, 03 May 2009 00:20:29 -0400

I am so excited and still can't believe it. UFC is coming to my home town of Philadelphia for UFC 101. On August 8, 2009 at Wachovia Center, Anderson Silva will move up in weight to fight Forrest Griffin. This will be a explosive fight that I will be there to witness Forrest stopping Sliva's win streak. Silva will definitely have to fight for his life in this fight and will not get away with just a half ass effort like his two previous fights.

$41.7 Million Dollar GUARANTEE CONTRACT For a UNPROVEN Player.........

Bill Kao — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 23:34:38 -0400

Hey Detroit Lions, were in a Recession!

According to Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com, Stafford’s deal is worth $78 million over six years, with $41.7 million guaranteed.

Are you for real......

Gotta love America, Where else can you make $78 million dollars for throwing a football?

What is wrong with us.

Unfortunately for Stafford, he will join the ranks of Joey Harrington, Alex Smith, Dante Culpepper, Chris Simms, Bryon Leftwich, Ryan Leaf and Michael Vick as scrubs.

To Sign or Not to Sign Is the Million Dollar Question

Bill Kao — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:46:14 -0400

Let's dream for a minute and pretend I was just drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles or some other NFL team in the third round. The first year, I get on the field as a special teams player. I do a great job with my special teams coverage. I have a good rookie season and I even got paid $300,000 for my first year.

Year two: I am third on the depth chart at the beginning of training camp and by the end of summer camps, I am starting at left corner due to numerous injuries. My first nine games, I have 45 tackles, two sacks and three INT's. After week 12, I get a call from my agent to tell me the Eagles would like to offer me a seven year $21 million dollar contract to lock me up long term. I am 21-years-old and a NFL team wants to lock me up for seven years and pay me $3 million dollars per year to play football. What do I do?

Year six: I have just made my third first team All Pro as one of the top cornerbacks in the NFL. I am one of the best football players in the NFL yet there is one problem. I am not paid like one of the best football players in the NFL. Why, because I signed a dumb contract back when I was 21-years-old and I am now locked up until my seventh year.

This is a common scenario we are witnessing in the NFL. Teams are willing to risk a long term, cheap contract on a first or second year player that shows some promise just to lock them up for good. It makes sense for both parties. A team is taking a risk with locking a young player to a long term contract and a young player is getting financial freedom with a long term contract.

To all the NFL players that sign those stupid contracts, HONOR YOUR CONTRACT...If you were dumb enough to sign those contracts early on in your careers, make sure you play out your contract.

Penn State Will Play for the National Championship if...

Bill Kao — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:55:18 -0500

People...stop laughing. There is still a slim chance that Penn State could end up playing in Miami for the National Championship.

Remember, Ohio State was ranked No. 7 in the BCS poll at the same time last year, and ended up in the national title game, so there is hope.

Here is what must happen, though, so let's all pray.

Nov. 15, Texas (3) vs. Kansas: Kansas beats Texas and PSU moves up one spot to No. 7.

Nov. 22, BYU (17) vs. Utah (7): Go Mormons and see below...

Nov. 22, Texas Tech (2) vs. Oklahoma (5): Bob Stoops is 60-2 at home and TT's luck runs out. PSU moves to No. 6.

Nov. 29, Florida (4) vs. FSU (19): FSU is due for a win over the Gators. Why not?

Nov. 29, Oklahoma (stays at No. 5 with win against TT) vs. Oklahoma St. (13): Oklahoma St. "cowboys" Oklahoma at home.

Nov. 29, ND vs. USC (6): This will be the only time that I am a ND fan. Clausen goes home and shows off his arm. PSU moves to No. 3 with loss from Florida, Oklahoma, and USC.

Dec. 6, Big 12 Title game—Texas Tech (2) vs. Missouri (12): Chase Daniel goes for the Heisman and throws for 500 yards.

Dec. 6, SEC title game—Alabama (1) vs. Florida (5): Tim Tebow runs over Nick Saban and earns his second Heisman Trophy.

Jan. 8, FLORIDA (1) VS. PENN STATE (2)

NATIONAL CHAMPS: PENN STATE and Joe Paterno retires.

Area 51 Conspiracy Theories Meet Elite XC: Kimbo vs Shamrock

Bill Kao — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 15:58:05 -0400

What is the definition of conspiracy theory? As define in Wikipedia, “A conspiracy theory attributes the ultimate cause of an event or chain of events (usually political, social or historical events), or the concealment of such causes from public knowledge, to a secret and often deceptive plot by a group of powerful or influential people or organizations. Many conspiracy theories state that major events in history have been dominated by conspirators who manipulate political happenings from behind the scenes.

I know this might be a stretch but hear me out. As I sat on my sofa last night, going back and forth between Griffin vs. Jackson replay on Spike and Elite XC, I was stunned at the news of Ken Shamrock pulling out of the fight against Kimbo Slice because of a cut on his right eyebrow. I thought, was this a joke? Are you for real? I was now annoyed.

I came to the conclusion after they interviewed Shamrock that his interview just didn’t seem right. Was this whole thing a clever marketing stunt? Would this happen in the UFC? Would this happen in boxing?

Here are my conspiracy theories:

1. If Shamrock cut his right eyebrow and had to get stitches, why wasn’t it announced on Saturday?

2. Did Seth really have a fight that night or was he always fighting Kimbo?

3. If you go on the results page of Elite XC, they don’t even have a picture of Seth on the results page.

4. Would a UFC MMA fighter ever take a fight without any notice, especially during prime-time?

5. What kind of media buzz did this create when Kimbo was knocked out?

Kimbo Slice Knocks Ken Shamrock Out with His Left Pinky

Bill Kao — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:14:47 -0400

I often wonder if I had a chance to fight Mike Tyson in his prime or even at the age of 40, how much money it would take for me to step into the ring with him. I came to the conclusion $500,000, but the chances of me leaving alive would be slim.

How much did Elite XC pay Ken Shamrock to fight Kimbo Slice? I think at this point Shamrock's legacy is finished. His last fight, a 185 lb. fighter named Kazushi Sakuraba, knocked him out. In his last five fights before Sakuraba, Shamrock’s record is one win and four losses. Shamrock was knocked out by Tito Ortiz in Ortiz vs. Shamrock 1, 2 and 3; Shamrock beat Kimo Leopoldo in 2004, but was knocked out again by Rich Franklin.

How is Shamrock going to stand up and trade punches with a 270 lb. psycho? Is this fight a promotional stunt to increase Elite XC's TV ratings?

I found this article on Sherdog.com, “In a rather disturbing exercise in morbidity, Harris Interactive polled 1,017 Americans via telephone in 2004 and asked if they’d watch a televised execution. Two –thirds said they would". America, here is your televised execution and it's free.

Good luck Ken. Hope your lawyers updated your will because it’s going to get ugly quick.

BCS National Championship, Please Meet the Real BCS Playoff System

Bill Kao — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:32:52 -0400

What would happen if we had BCS college football playoffs? Every Monday, we will take the top eight teams from the AP polls and break down the playoff brackets.

Capital One Bowl (No. 2 vs. No. 7)

Alabama vs. Texas Tech

Texas Tech has so far played a Division III schedule. Their second half schedule is brutal. Alabama will outclass Texas Tech.

Alabama 31, Texas Tech 0

Outback Bowl (No. 4 vs. No. 5)

Missouri vs. Texas

Chase Daniels vs. Colt McCoy—another shootout with tons of offense. This will also be a fun game to watch. I am still not sold on Missouri. Missouri opened with Illinois and barely won the game with their shaky defense. These two teams will meet in three weeks. For now, go Horns.

Texas 47, Missouri 41

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl (No. 3 vs. No. 6)

LSU vs. Penn State

LSU has not looked like the National Champs. They are breaking in a new QB. Like Penn State, LSU has not played any tough competition. After Week Five, LSU has barely beaten Auburn and just beat Mississippi State. Penn State's Spread HD offense will overwhelm LSU’s defense. Derrick Williams will be the X-factor.

Penn State 27, LSU 21

FedEx Orange Bowl (No. 1 vs. No. 8)

Oklahoma vs. BYU

This will be an aerial assault on both defenses. Sam Bradford is a tough QB with lots of experience playing in tough games. This will be a game that will go back and forth, but in the end, Oklahoma’s experience will prevail.

Oklahoma 41, BYU 35

Rose Bowl (Winner of No. 2 vs. No. 7 and No. 4 vs. No. 5)

Alabama vs. Texas

Nick Saban vs. Mack Brown. The first QB with over 300 passing yards wins the game.

Alabama 31, Texas 30

Allstate Sugar Bowl (Winner of No. 3 vs. No. 6 and No. 1 vs. No. 8)

Oklahoma vs. Penn State

Paterno vs. Stoops, Clark vs. Bradford. Spread HD will be on display for both teams. In the end, Penn State will ultimately end the game with an interception.

Penn State 37, Oklahoma 35

FedEx BCS National Championship (Winner of Rose vs. Sugar Bowl)

ALABAMA VS. PENN STATE

WOW, this would be a dream matchup and an instant ESPN classic. Saban vs. Paterno. Could this be a revenge game for Penn State? Wouldn’t this be the perfect way for Joe Paterno to retire—with a National Championship win over Alabama?

Penn State 21, Alabama 17

Rankings as of Sept. 26, 2008

1. Oklahoma (43) 4-0 1,599

2. Alabama (21) 5-0 1,565

3. LSU 4-0 1,466

4. Missouri (1) 4-0 1,453

5. Texas 4-0 1,362

6. Penn State 5-0 1,252

7. Texas Tech 4-0 1,105

8. Brigham Young 4-0 1,098

The Life Of a Philadelphia Eagles Fan

Bill Kao — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:59:26 -0400

Reality Check: Chicago Bears vs Philadelphia Eagles

DEAR ANDY REID:

WAKE UP!!!!!

As the Head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, you have absolutely turn our beloved Philadelphia Eagles franchise around and I wish you success for another 10 years but if you continue to make stupid offensive calls, please go back to UTAH!

Why on earth would you run four consecutive run plays up the middle when you have so many other options to use to gain one yard for the go ahead touchdown.

Two words: BRIAN URLACHER.

Ever heard of Donovan McNabb, DeSean Jackson, Hank Baskett, Greg Lewis, Brent Celek or even Dan Klecko?

Did you forget that Donovan McNabb is one of the best running quarterbacks in the league?

Here is what I might have call, and remember I have no football coaching experience:

First down: Ok, maybe run Buck up the middle with Dan Klecko making a hole for him and see if you can get luck.

Second down: Quick fade route to your 6'4 wide receiver Hank Baskett to one of the end zone corners.

Third down: QB Sneak (just a thought).

Fourth down: Fake the run to Buck with a QB bootleg to the left side of the field.

ANDY REID: Stop calling the plays and hand it over to Marty (the person you hired to be your Offensive Coordinator).