Bleacher Report - Articles by Renee Pussman

BYU's Pathetic Attempt at Playing Basketball Is Laughable at Best

Renee Pussman — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 11:24:11 -0400

BYU as a football program really "bit the big one" this past year.

They talked themselves up like they were gods walking among men, but when it came down to brass tacks, they proved that they are nothing but hollow shells of human beings.

Human beings that are terrible at football.

Every BYU fan ever then decided to put the rest of their unbroken eggs in one poorly woven and pink-painted basket with their basketball team.

"Our basketball team is great this year," I heard from some.

"BYU is going to CRUSH Utah," I heard from others. "There is no way that Utah is going to beat BYU."

Wow.

Typical douchiness from the douchiest fans in the entire world. Talking trash to Utah just for the sake of hearing themselves talk.

Little do they know that every time one of them opens their mouths, it sounds like an obese man violently crapping his pants.

BYU, your athletic department is a joke. You get decimated in football this year, and now you get your butts kicked by Texas A&M?

You really are pathetic and should probably consider shutting down your athletic program altogether.

Also, to the BYU fans out there: Don't ever talk to me ever again. You know so little about sports it is sickening. And stop trying to tell me the show Big Love doesn't accurately depict the Mormon culture.

You and I know darn well that it does.

BYU Cougars Struggle to Even Look Like Little Brother: Utes OWN BYU!

Renee Pussman — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 11:59:39 -0400

It is clear to just about everyone who knows anything about sports that BYU is little brother to the University of Utah.

For many years I have heard many people say that BYU had a superior program to Utah.

Even if that was the case in the past, the Utes have clearly rallied past that and put those snobby, self-righteous BYU fans in their places.

Where is your God now, BYU? Where was he to swoop down and push BYU to the top of the podium in the Mountain West Tournament?

I can tell you exactly where he was. He was sitting courtside at the University of Utah games, mouth agape at the wonder that is the Utes.

BYU has shown this year that not only are they a subpar school academically, they are also a subpar school athletically.

One can only speculate as to why BYU has done so poorly in athletics this year.

Is it the coaching? Is it the players? Is it the fans?

The answer is YES. It is all of those things.

Everything that is BYU is fail.

Get used to it BYU. You are going to be in for years of disappointment.

Go Utes!!!

A Monstrous Victory Over Alabama Makes The Utes The Heroes Of Utah. B-Y-Who?

Renee Pussman — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 03:24:18 -0500

Alabama was clearly the favorite going into the long awaited Sugar Bowl on the 2nd of January 2009. In fact, their opponents, the Utah Utes, were given very little credit until the first few plays of the game.

All of a sudden, a silence came over the thousands of Alabama fans. A silence that said to the rest of the nation, "Uh oh!"

At the end of the first quarter and the Utes led 21-0 Crimson Tide fans realized that this pathetic little Mountain West Conference team, wasn't so little and pathetic after all.

Much of the game followed suit and the Mighty Utah Utes emerged victorious. One might say that the game was utter domination. Other might say that the Alabama Crimson Tide got ROLLED!

Either way, The University of Utah Utes are the heroes of Utah and possibly the heroes of college football.

Of course, BYU fans consider BYU to be the most important thing in the world. Unfortunately, after this huge win by the Utes, no one even remembers the BYU 1984 season. Not even the "men" who played on the team.

It is like a reverse eclipse. Many people had been focusing on the tiny, dark, insignificant ball that is BYU. But now that the Utes have stunned a nation, this huge fiery beacon of light is now completely engulfing the poor 10 - 3 Cougars.

Sorry BYU, you just aren't significant to college football in Utah anymore.

As for the Alabama Crimson Tide, they are clearly a better team than BYU. They just aren't nearly as good as Utah. Anyone who watched the game could have seen the looks on the faces of the Crimson Tide.

Nick Saban was standing there thinking, "man, I suck." Meanwhile, Glen Coffee was cradeling a weeping John Parker Wilson telling him, "Everthing gonna be alright J.P., everything gonna be alright."

Looks like Mountain West Conference is better than you thought huh?

Congrats, Utes! You deserve it. Here is to you finishing No. 2. Or higher?

I Told You All Utah Would Be in the Sugar Bowl: Maybe Now You'll Believe Me

Renee Pussman — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 03:04:25 -0500

Many people didn't believe me and would argue 'til the end that Utah was NOT going to the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans.

They said that they would go to the Fiesta Bowl, the Orange Bowl, and some even said No Bowl.

Clearly these people are idiots. The BCS selection went according to plans with no surprises whatsoever.

Utah will play Alabama in the Sugar Bowl on Jan. 2, 2009.

Alabama coach Nick Saban has already taken a few swipes at Utah, and Kyle Whittingham knows it.

What I see happening is a great Utah team and a great Alabama team playing a very tough and physical game.

Utah will end up with the win by no more than seven points, and the rest of the nation will be forced to accept that this year, Utah is for real.

P.S. To all you naysayers who argued that Utah would NOT be going to the Sugar Bowl...

Suck on that!!! I told you so, you morons!!!

Utah-BYU: Nothing Short of Utter Domination

Renee Pussman — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 07:16:40 -0500

So BYU fans, it is that time.

You know, that time where I tell you what dummies you are for thinking that BYU was a better team than Utah?

Well, you have sat on your high horses for the last few years, thinking that BYU is a better program and telling everyone that they are going to go to the BCS this year.

Unfortunately, BYU was absolutely DECIMATED by Utah on Saturday, Nov. 22, 2008.

What a great day for the Utes.

Your "Heisman candidate" Max Hall and holier-than-thou Austin Collie had nothing on the Mighty Utes.

Max Hall wanted to lose so badly he just started throwing to our team.

I think that it is safe to say that BYU sucks. Absolutely sucks.

Was it five turnovers? No SIX! Give me a break.

It is clear that all you BYU honks don't know anything about football. Giving all your stupid, misinformed predictions and actually believing that BYU was a better team than Utah.

Well you have undeniable evidence that you were just looking down your tunnel with your blinders on. Utah DOMINATED BYU.

Brigham Young must be rolling in his grave. Joseph Smith, too.

You suck BYU, fans.

You suck, Max Hall.

You suck BIG TIME, Bronco Mendenhall.

You all just suck.

Make sure to blow us kisses on our caravan to the Sugar Bowl.

Brian Johnson Is an Absolute Stud, on and Off The Field

Renee Pussman — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 02:51:28 -0500

Brian Johnson is a stud.

And this is regardless of how he works miracles on the field, especially in the last few minutes of a game.

Brian is person who is caring and considerate of other people. Something that even you Zoobies (BYU fans) can understand and respect.

I had the pleasure of having a few classes with Brian while I was a student at the University of Utah.

He was always nice, always charismatic and always willing to talk sports.

I digress.

A friend of mine has a little brother who has cerebral palsy.

He came to one of the Utah games and was saying how awesome Brian Johnson is.

I told him that I knew Brian from school and that there was a possibility that I could get him a signed football.

Of course, he was ecstatic.

A few days later I got in touch with Brian and he said that he would be more than happy to sign a football for him.

A few days after that, Brian took time out of his busy day and met me to sign the football for my friends brother.

It read, "To: Brody, Best Wishes, Brian Johnson #3."

What a great guy.

Thanks Brian.

The TCU Purple Pandas Are No Match For The Mighty Utes!!!

Renee Pussman — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 02:57:49 -0500

The TCU Purple Pandas are Good.

The Utah Utes are Better.

Plain and simple.

Last nights game was an unbelievable display of defense and an even more incredible display of clutch football by Brian Johnson.

He may take too long in the pocket and make some bad decisions every once in a while, but that kid is a STUD!

He did it against Oregon St. and he did it again against TCU.

TCU's defense was pretty outstanding. Allowed very few rushing yards and frustrated the Utes passing game all night long.

The same can be said about Utah's Defense. Utah's defense kept TCU out of field goal range a number of times which, of course, ultimately led to a Utes victory.

Speaking of field goals...

Ross Evans freaking SUCKS!!! Two missed field goals in crunch time? Come on, man.

I bet he shows up to practice today to find a little pink slip attached to his locker. Take a walk buddy. You're terrible. (Not as terrible as BYU)

So, it looks as if Utah is on the right track for another BCS bid. I knew it all along.

10-0 baby!

BYU must be crapping their pants right now seeing as how the Purple Pandas decimated them a few weeks ago.

I am so excited I feel like driving down to Provo right now, so I can punch stupid Max Hall right in the face.

BYU Almost Loses To CSU and Proves To Everyone That They Shouldn't Be Ranked

Renee Pussman — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 02:44:42 -0500

So this past weekend, The BYU Cougars rolled in the stadium to play Colorado State.

Max Hall said something to the effect of, "Our defense doesn't have a problem."

That clearly proved false once the game started.

Colorado State made BYU look like a junior college out there and even though BYU won, now everybody knows exactly how bad they are.

It is funny to me to look at all the people who were wearing their "Quest For Perfection" shirts for the first six games who have just happened to lose them in the wash after that embarrassing loss to TCU.

It must be tough to be a BYU fan right now. Having so much confidence in your team only to be let down because of bad play and bad coaching.

I am just looking forward to watching BYU play their next games at San Diego and Air Force.

Maybe two more losses before they come up to lose to Utah?

A Demoralized BYU Looks Terrible Against Weak UNLV

Renee Pussman — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 04:28:16 -0400

UNLV is not a good team.

But, then again, neither is BYU.

This past weekend, BYU showed up to its game against UNLV looking like an unprepared Division 3 high school team.

BYU's defense looked absolutely atrocious. And, let me remind you, this is against UNLV!

UNLV is a horrible team. Sure, it beat Utah last year, but it is absolutely horrible. And the performance of BYU showed us that one loss really can ruin your season.

TCU made BYU go from an overrated No. 8 team to an overrated No. 21 team.

Sorry, BYU fans, your best bet is the Las Vegas Bowl at best.

Deal with it.

I Guess I Was Right: BYU Fans Can Give Me Credit for the TCU Loss

Renee Pussman — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 06:58:08 -0400

It looks as if I was right.

BYU's embarrassing loss to TCU shows us that they (BYU) were an incredibly overrated team who doesn't deserve to even be in the top 25.

I mean, come on. The No. 8 team in the nation gets pimp-slapped by the No. 24 Horned Frogs?

How bad must BYU fans feel right now?

The once proud BYU fan, who spent his time sitting in his tower, talking about how BYU was a BCS buster and that they were going to finish with an undefeated record, is now hanging his head in shame, asking Joseph what happened.

BYU will now be lucky to finish second in the MWC.

With a loss that demoralizing, I would be surprised if BYU even wins another game.

I can tell you this—there is not a chance of BYU beating Utah now. BYU is now a sad, ugly shell of its former self, and Utah has seen it.

Did you see how beaten Max Hall looked on the sidelines? He was supposed to be the golden child of Happy Valley, and he can't even throw a single touchdown?

With his completion percentage barely over 50 percent and throwing two heartbreaking interceptions, Max Hall looked like a high school quarterback.

I heard plenty of BYU fans saying that Hall was a shoo-in for the Heisman. HA HA. Yeah right. Not after that disgusting performance.

Anyway, I digress. BYU fan...

I told you so! Give me credit! Because as far as I am concerned, I could have beaten BYU by myself—and I pretty much did.

Salt Lake Tribune Columnist Declares Utah Utes Better Than BYU

Renee Pussman — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 04:10:39 -0400

The only credible source I have read says Utah is better than BYU. Of course, I don't really feel like actively searching for one that says otherwise, but the fact remains.

In the Oct. 15 Salt Lake Tribune, sports columnist Gordon Monson goes over all the positives and negatives of both Utah and BYU.

In the end, guess who he said was better? Yes, Utah.

If you would like to read the article, you can do so here.

Now I'm not saying that Gordon Monson is the say-all, end-all of college sports. I know he isn't. I'm just saying that he is the closest thing to a credible source that even covers Utah and BYU.

And please don't anyone say that The Daily Herald is a credible news source. That "newspaper" is more concerned with publishing views regarding LDS doctrine than actually reporting news.

So what I'm getting at here goes back to what I originally started talking about in my first article.

BYU fans don't know anything about sports, and no one in the world likes them.

BYU fans have been sending me articles with a note that says, "Read it and weep." I indulge them and read the article.

Turns out it was written by the person saying read it and weep. What an idiot! Are you kidding me? You really think that your opinion makes any sort of difference?

Regardless of what your mother told you when you were young, and regardless of what your 12 kids and stay-at-home-mother of a wife tell you now, your opinion doesn't matter.

Just accept the fact that you lead a mediocre life and will always do so.

So if any of you other BYU honks want to try and "school" me, at least do it with a credible news source.

Idiots.

BYU Looked Like Garbage Against New Mexico and Has No Chance of Beating Utah

Renee Pussman — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 07:42:49 -0400

Seriously.

BYU looked TERRIBLE this past weekend against New Mexico. If they play like that Nov. 22, they are going to lose to Utah for sure.

Even though I'm pretty sure they would lose anyway.

After watching this past weekend's games, what would make ANYONE think that BYU has a better team than Utah?

Utah's defense is too good for wiener boy Max Hall and will shut him down all game long.

So all you dumb-dumb BYU fans...

Get ready for the beating of a lifetime!!!

Losers.

BYU Fans: Shut Up and Accept The Fact That You Aren't As Cool As You Think

Renee Pussman — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 10:02:40 -0400

If you have read my previous post, you know how much I hate BYU and especially their stupid fans.

I was listening to sports radio the other day and this stupid loser calls in and says some thing to the effect of, "Let me tell you a little something about economics."

You can tell by this statement that this person is a D-Bag. Trying to sound smart and condescending where he actually ends up sounding like a third grader.

His little rant made me want to throw up.

He actually sounded like he made up everything he said. "Oh yeah I have a good degree from a good school, and I have a good job. I can afford...blah blah blah."

What a stupid idiot. If he knew anything about economics I wouldn't be writing this. He is just using any excuse he can to try and get at Utah fans.

Like me, only he sounds like a dummy and I make people laugh.

This loser is just bitter. Bitter that he has to drive his 1995 Astro van that he bought from his in-laws. Bitter from a crappy job where he doesn't make enough money to support his kids.

To his stay-at-home-mom of a wife who still hasn't lost the 30 pounds that she gained from popping out kid number 12. Who incidentally is the first and only person he has ever kissed.

To a poorly constructed track home in the middle of nowhere.

Which is next to the disgusting bog of crap called Utah Lake.

Seriously, if you want to talk trash BYU fan...

Stop and think about it, and then realize that you are too stupid and inbred to talk smack.

Moron.

Utah Wins and Proves to Stupid BYU Fans Everywhere That They Are for Real!

Renee Pussman — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 04:50:21 -0400

The University of Utah Utes squeaked by the Oregon State Beavers last night with a huge drive in the last few minutes of the game, ending in a touchdown along with a two-point conversion that would tie the game 28-28.

After an amazing three-and-out stop, the Utes would get the ball back with about a minute left in the game.

Miraculously, Brian Johnson, who had not looked good the whole game, strung together a couple of great plays that would set the Utes up for a last-second win with a typically amazing field goal by Louie Sakoda.

That being said, with another win in the books, I really hope that moronic BYU fans can shut their mouths about Utah not being for real.

Although BYU is a good team, their schedule has lacked difficulty thus far. UCLA was clearly terrible, and so was Wyoming.

Utah is showing the world with their 6-0 record that they are gunning for that BCS bid, and they aren't going to let anyone get in their way.

Especially the BYU Kitty Cats.

One more thought.

Louie Sakoda is one of the best players in college football and is easily the best player on the Utes. Anyone who disagrees is a moron. I am willing to bet that Sakoda goes in the first round of the NFL draft.

Seattles 950 Am Sports Show Host "Softy" Is The Ultimate Loser

Renee Pussman — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 08:33:25 -0400

The BYU Cougars and Washington Huskies played this past week in what was supposed to be a BYU blowout of the Huskies. In the end, the game was decided by just one point.

Although there may have been some questionable calls made by the referees, the game ended with BYU squeaking past Washington 28-27.

This is not the story that I want to write about. I want to write about what an incredible “homer” Softy is at KJR 950 AM.

Hans Olsen, a sports host of “The Manly Morning Show” at Sports Radio 1280 The Zone, in Salt Lake City was a guest on Softy’s show, which airs between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. Hans made some comments to Softy telling him that BYU was a “for sure” bet and that “Washington doesn’t have a chance.”

This of course made Softy, an incredible Washington homer, make comments contradicting everything that Olsen said.

Fast forward three days to the Monday after the game. Hans called back as a regular caller to Softy’s show and very sarcastically gloated “I told you so!”

Softy proceeds to absolutely lose his mind and began to scream over the air about how upset he is. He even mentions that he wants contact information for Hans so he can, “go down there and choke his neck myself.”

For a good minute, Fatso Softy flies off the handle and must have come VERY close to having a heart attack or a stroke or both.

Listeners of Hans’s show have made many comments and have even sent emails to “The Fat Guy at KJR” telling him what an incredible loser he is. There was even a song written featuring some of the clips of Softy’s meltdown.

That song and the full interview of the Softy meltdown can be heard online at the 1280 The Zone website. http://www.1280thezone.com

Just so you know, this article is less of a sports article and more of a “I-just-want-to-let-you-know-what-a-fat-loser-homer-Softy-at-KJR-950-AM-in-Seattle-is” article.

Here is all the audio between the Softy and Hans Olsen. Freaking hilarious!
Here is the link http://bleacherreport.com/articles/56169-seattles-950-am-sports-show-host-softy-is-the-ultimate-loser

BYU Fans Are The Most Hated Fans in The World!

Renee Pussman — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 10:59:26 -0400

The University of Utah and BYU have had a long, heated rivalry for many years. Ever since 1896 when BYU was called BYA (Brigham Young Academy), the University of Utah and BYU have had a bitter feud.

I've gotta tell you... BYU Sucks. I can always appreciate a good football team. Whether it be based on the talent and execution of the team, or the kind of reputation they have made for themselves.

This is not the case with BYU. Not that I think their players are terrible. In fact, some of their players are actually pretty good.

I cannot stand the attitudes that they have. They are all goodie-goodie god lovers that honestly believe that God wants them to and helps them win. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

This holier-than-thou attitude makes me sick to my stomach. They think that because they are good churchgoers and that their school is owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, that they are somehow better than the fans of the University of Utah.

They portray Ute fans as godless sinners who don't deserve to win because they aren't self-righteous losers like themselves.

Utah is going to win in 2008. And after that happens, BYU fans can cry like little girls about how Utah cheated or how the officiating was unfair, just like they always do.

They can then retreat back to their wards and stake centers to pray for vengeance the next time the teams meet. Ask god for help in making their self proclaimed "only true church" a little bit more popular.

You suck BYU fans...

You suck.