Bleacher Report - Articles by Jay Jones

Jay's 10 Quick Hits: Oregon-Boise State "Nuts" Edition

Jay Jones — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 13:05:57 -0400

[Publisher's note: What are "Jay's 10 Quick Hits"? At the insistence of One Click Sports News and Duck Sports News co-manager Ryan Welch, DSN co-manager Jay Jones ceased sending Ryan costly text-messages during University of Oregon football games. Heeding this decree, Jay turned to inflicting his reactionary quips, in the form of a blog entry, on the general DSN audience, much to the displeasure of management.]

Barely escaping a neighborhood Reign of Terror by a nut-hurling squiddle (British annunciation of "squirrel"), I managed to evade bodily injury and flee to Autzen Stadium yesterday for the Oregon-Boise State football game to bring you this edition of "Jay's 10 Quick Hits"…

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…": Pre-game Warm-ups

On the KUGN 590AM pre-pre-game show with Steve Tannen and Justin Myers, former Oregon coach, and current Special Assistant to the Athletic Director, Neal Zoumboukos referred to the UO-BSU game as "nut-cutting time". Considering the regime I had just eschewed, my ears perked up at the mention of this reference because I had never heard that term before yesterday.

It's legit. And oh-so apropos.

I don't know what nuts Zoomer was talking about (although, I could probably take a guess—filbert?), but he had this game nailed. I think Zoomer thought Oregon would pull out a victory. But in just about every aspect of the game, he said that it was a push between Oregon and Boise State, with the exception of Oregon's advantage on the offensive line. And he was right about that point too, much to the chagrin of Oregon fans.

Why does Boise State's combination of orange and blue look so sharp? They are complimentary colors, providing a nice, pleasing contrast, making the other appear brighter.

On the other sideline, Oregon's green and yellow are analogous colors, adjacent colors on a color wheel, offering more nuances with a richer appearance.

Lots of meanings there, folks. Do with it as you will.

Here endeth the color theory lesson.

"Pass the beer nuts…": 10 Quick Hits

1. LeGarrette Blount has hurdled more when it counts in the last two games than Liu Xiang has in the Olympics over the last four years.

2. How do you describe those new, cutting-edge Oregon Marching Band uniforms? That's easy. They're tracksuits! Each and every band member is now a gold chain and wife-beater t-shirt away from admittance into the witness protection program. Nike, Tony Soprano wants his wardrobe back!

3. What's worse than Pac-10 officials? WAC officials.

4. I guess they are right. Running the ball for the first 45 minutes really does set up the pass!

5. What's worse than WAC officials? PAC-10 officials who review plays while highly trained medical professionals examine an injured, immobilized, and motionless player laying on the field.

6. You know what else sets up the pass? A quarterback who is called on, and permitted, to throw the ball.

(Oh, no. I'm now done for about the next two or three hours: "The Fifth Element" is on TNT. Highly underrated movie. Luke Perry's best work. And Chris Tucker's, too.)

7. No, no, no. Fans weren't booing the play calling. Fans were saying, "Throoo," as in throoo the ball.

8. The new marching band uniforms are about as cutting-edge as the band's song section: "Jesus Christ Superstar" and "Aquarius." Even the strongest supporters of the ecumenical movement would be hard-pressed to reconcile the world-views of "Jesus Christ Superstar" and "Hair." Can't the band just learn, and pay for, some new music and avoid these weird on-field religious, philosophical, and cultural clashes?

9. Darron Thomas will not be the recipient of this week's "Uncle Rico Quarterback Award," sponsored by Big J's Restaurant, because coach put him in for the fourth quarter. But could he throw it over the Coburg Hills? Hmmm…

10. No-Love Triangle: Oregon, Boise State, Oklahoma. Wasn't it a bit odd watching Dennis Dixon's fake "Statue of Liberty" play against Michigan last year on Duck Vision while playing Boise State? And didn't Oregon's comeback against Oklahoma come to mind at some point in the fourth quarter as fans were pouring out of the stadium? Nuts…

"Nuts…": Post-game Late Hits

I noticed a full-page ad in the Sunday edition of The Register-Guard promoting Oregon Sports Network programming on Comcast. It also included a call-to-action for Duck fans to call their cable or satellite provider if they were not getting OSN programming. Passing the buck to Duck fans? Or a measured response to broadcasters?

Half the home schedule is over. And Boise State will be the best team the Ducks face at Autzen Stadium this year. It's downhill from now on, right? But I'm not exactly sure what I mean by that.

Get all your sports news on the Oregon Ducks at DuckSportsNews.com.

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Wilcox on Wilcox: Former Duck Josh Questions BSU's Justin

Jay Jones — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 17:07:47 -0400

Been looking forward to this for a while…

Brother vs. brother…

Duck vs. Bronco…

Wilcox vs. Wilcox…

Josh vs. Justin…

Don't expect hard-hitting questions or revealing answers about the game on Saturday…just a couple of brothers talking football.

Here's Josh…and Justin…

As the Boise State game comes closer, I used my media prowess to secure an interview with Boise State's Defensive Coordinator Justin Wilcox. I was only allowed the interview via email and only 10 questions. I believe this is what you could classify as real in depth hard hitting journalism:

1. Who was your favorite duck growing up?

Justin: 3-way tie. Latin Berry, Bill Musgrave, and Anthony Newman. Those guys were awesome. Oh and of course, Reggie Jordan.

2. Favorite Sea Bass move?

Justin: Definitely wearing the championship belt out to dinner after a successful evening at the fairgrounds. Classy.

3. Best game(s) you ever have been involved with? Fiesta Bowl or Nerf night games on the lawn?

Justin: The Fiesta bowl was awesome but there were some great diving catches and big hits made on the back lawn. Tough call.

4. How many footballs did we lose in the hedge or under the deck?

Justin: I would venture to guess around six to seven dozen. Seems as though we always found them two years later with mold and worms growing on them. Maybe that’s why I had a bad throwing motion as a QB, slippery moldy footballs.

5. If you could recruit a player in a movie about HS football, who would it be?

Justin: Lucas. No questions. Heart of a lion, won over the hot girl. Easy choice even with his Buddy Holly glasses.

6. Most disgusting Oregon player you ever met—funny wise?

Justin: Deke Moen. Can't comment any more on that. He's one of my best buddy's, but gee-whiz.

7. Can you comment on Naggi’s driving skills down our road?

Justin: If the road is under water most people would stop and not try to cross without knowing where the pavement is. Nate is not most people. Awesome guy, great football coach, funny dude, terrible driver.

8. Better Josh hair cut? Mullet or bowl?

Justin: Both were fine choices but you really would have taken the cake with a bowl /mullet/rat tail combo. The chicks wouldn't have known what to do. I guess it's never too late though...

9. Favorite Pre game CD—HS, college, coaching.

Justin: Pregame CD in high school was Pearl Jam (Ten); college would have to be a mix—I listened to a lot of stuff in college; coaching is more Van Morrison and a lot of Springsteen. Does that mean I'm old?

10. Best Oregon memory?

Justin: Outside of football there are too many to count with the great friends I have. Football wise there were some awesome times and wins but a couple stories that stick out include: the "Cal Bus Trip" story that Eric Winn told every single week for three years, Nate wearing his headphones to dinner when we all went out to eat one night.

Jed Boice / AJ feeley…'nuff said. Matt Smith being older than the coaches…when he was a sophomore. Pete Sirmon and Deke fighting over spilled grape juice...like a real fight. Blake Spence in meetings. It was an unbelievable time.

Get all your sports news on the Oregon Ducks at DuckSportsNews.com. Be Jay's Facebook friend. Join DSN's Facebook group.

Josh Wilcox, a Junction City, Oregon native was a four-year letterman with Ducks. In the Rose Bowl Season of 1994 against Arizona, Danny O’Neil threw 15 yards to Josh for the game’s only touchdown early in the fourth quarter as Oregon came from behind to win 10-9. Arizona was ranked No. 11 by The Associated Press and ranked 23d by The New York Times computer.

Josh went on to catch 11 passes for 135 yards against Penn State in the 1995 Rose Bowl. After finishing his career at Oregon, Josh went on to play for the New Orleans Saints in the NFL.

Jay's 10 Quick Hits: Oregon at Purdue Full Steam of Head Edition

Jay Jones — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 10:12:35 -0400

By Jay Jones

Editor, Musket & Mallard Magazine*

Instead of texting each other during games, DSN co-owner Ryan Welch suggested that I stop bothering him and text myself…and put them to some good use in the form of "10 Quick Hits".

Here are a couple of pre-game warm-up hits:

(As I edit these, I have to confess to being a little bit distracted. "Tombstone" is on The History Channel. And it's one of those movies that whenever it's on, I pretty much stop whatever I'm doing and watch it.Kurt Russell. Val Kilmer (should have won the Best Supporting Actor Academy Award). Oregon's Sam Elliott. Bill Paxton. Michael Biehn. Powers Boothe. Charlton Heston. Billy frickin' Zane! If only Michael Ironside could have found his way on to set! But I digress…)

• Cal-Maryland: The pukiest thing I saw on the field, other than Jahvid Best's breakfast and Cal's overall play, was the safety Cal got right before half-time that was not called by the officials. At least the Washington-BYU officiating crew wrongly made the right call, as opposed to wrongly not making the obvious call.

• Cal-Maryland: Squib kicks and on-side kicks (with over 7:00 remaining) never make sense.

• Traveling East is way more difficult that traveling West. It's always easier to gain time than to lose time.

• WSU-Baylor: Ike claimed the Washington State football team as a victim. The Cougars made the trip and played the game on Friday.

• Saturday College Football counter-programming; Notting Hill on USA, Forces of Nature, Sleepless in Seattle, Failure to Launch, Friends, Sex & the City on TBS

Warmed-up? Let's go then…

1. Purdue's kids choo-choo vs. Oregon's Harley-Davidson: Oregon's Harley-Davidson.

2. Stacy Dales vs. Erin Andrews: Erin Andrews.

3. Dan Fouts (Oregon) vs. Bob Griese (Purdue): Dan Fouts.

4. I hope ESPN/ABC play-by-play announcer Brad Nessler worked out all of his "Ducks" puns:

• "Roper throws a rope."

• "Flock of Ducks."

• "On the pond."

• "…productivity from a Byrd…"

• "…both wings on him…"

5. After that tongue lashing, you think Roper will be calling any more timeouts at the beginning of future fourth quarters?

6. (Text message) Better to face adversity now, as opposed to later?

7 - 9. Ran out of steam. But I feel my second wind coming on…

10. I'm not the highly trained medical professional in my family, but I have to ask this question: is there any correlation between the implementation of this version of the spread option offense and the injuries to Oregon quarterbacks over the last two seasons? I'll explore this more in a future entry.

Post-game Late Hits:

• USC's uniforms are just hideous. All gnarled and nasty. Get some new unis, USC.

• The USC Song Girls' have the performance range of the Marching Band's repertoire.

• Alternate History: If Dennis Dixon had not been injured last season and Oregon went on to win the rest of their games, including the National Championship, would Terrelle Pryor still have chosen Ohio St.?

• What's more likely: Oregon facing Ohio St. in the Terrelle Pryor Bowl or Penn St. in the 1995+13 Bowl?

• Chris Harper vs. Terrelle Pryor: Push?

* There is no such thing as Musket & Mallard Magazine. There should be. But there isn't. Although, there is a Horse & Hound Magazine.

Get all your sports news on the Oregon Ducks at DuckSportsNews.com. Be Jay's Facebook friend. Join DSN's Facebook group.

Jay's 10 Quick Hits: Utah State Diff'rent Strokes Edition

Jay Jones — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 17:51:33 -0400

Long story short: DSN co-owner Ryan Welch and I migrated subjecting each other to our in-game text messages to subjecting you, the DSN audience, to my text messages to myself.

Got it? Good. Because here we go…

1. Biggest Week One to Week Two Improvement: Duck Vision. Now, I have to admit a bit of a bias here. But, regardless, the smoother transitions, de-flickered graphics, larger fonts, and improved audio all made for a much better Duck Vision experience.

2. Utah State Quarterback Sean Setzer, did you get a chance to talk to former Sheldon High School and WSU quarterback Alex Brink about coming home? Just curious.

3. Shutting out the Aggies for the game should have been the defensive goal. Shoot.

4. (Overheard) "What's an Aggie?" An "aggie" is someone who attends an agricultural school. Texas A&M is probably the most famous "Aggie" football school. Over the course of its early history, Oregon State students were probably called "aggies", until the term "Beavers" became increasingly popular (plenty of "aggie" jokes out there if you Google it).

5. If you booed Jeremiah Masoli at any point during the game, you should have been kicked out of the game and considered persona non grata from all future Duck games. Are you serious? Booing the kid in his second game? In a blowout? Give me a break (John Stossel impersonation completely unintentional).

6. (Overhead right before halftime) "Bellotti looks mad." Yeah, he probably should have been somewhat upset. But not at anything that would justify booing!

7. Shutting out the Aggies in the second half should have been the defensive goal. Double shoot. Eight. Harper made a throw! Yeah!

9. The view from the camera deck (on the roof of the south-side suites) is pretty cool. And windy. I'd highly recommend it. It was just me, the football videographers, and a bunch of security types.

10. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, I guess. Oregon runs over Utah State in Oregon on Saturday. Gary Colemen backs out his car at a bowling alley, hits a car, and runs over a pedestrian in Utah on Saturday.

Photo by AJ Untermeyer.

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, What might be right for you, may not be right for some. A man is born, he's a man of means. Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans.

But they got, Diff'rent Strokes. It takes, Diff'rent Strokes. It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story Everybody finds a way to shine, It don't matter that you got not alot So what, They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine. And together we'll be fine....

Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world. Yes it does. It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

Get all your sports news on the Oregon Ducks at DuckSportsNews.com. Be Jay's Facebook friend. Join DSN's Facebook group.