Bleacher Report - Articles by Bob Biscigliano

Minerleaguer and Bonine Get Torched

Bob Biscigliano — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:30:00 -0400

Zach Miner threw pretty well in his last start. I wouldn't call it an outing that would win me over, but it was one that kept us in the game and allowed us to pull out the victory nonetheless.

Unfortunately, he lived up to his name, Minerleaguer, today. His name, and Eddie "Bonehead" Bonine's (as I suggested in the last Tigers recap) imply that they were born to fail at the Major League level and they proved today that they just can't muster it.

Miner lasted 3.1 IP in his start allowing eight runs on nine hits while walking three today against the White Sox in a 10-6 loss. Eddie Bonine gave up two runs in 2.2 IP and licked his fingers about thirty five times.

The one bright spot for the Tigers pitching today was Juan Rincon, who struggled in his first outing.

Today, he threw three shutout innings with five strikeouts. Even though he looks like a mixture between Mr. Penguin and the sneaky sneaky guy in Mr. Deeds (John Turturro), I was pumped to hear we signed him this off-season, and probably ill-advisedly so.

For some odd reason, I just figured because he was nasty with Minnesota and with Rick Knapp as our new pitching coach Rincon would automatically revert to his old self and have a lot of success. I guess we'll see if that can happen. Today was a step in the right direction.

At the plate, the Tigers used a big three-run home run from Ramon Santiago to get back into the game early, but the pitching was too much like Keeanu Reeves' acting abilities and couldn't keep us in it. Josh Anderson also had three RBIs.

Tomorrow the kid, Rick Porcello takes the bump opposite John Danks.

I'm having diarrhea causing, conflicting thoughts as to whether or not I should start Porcello in my fantasy league. Please leave me with your wisdom.

My thought process is this: 1) He could do very well because the White Sox have never seen him pitch before and they just spent 16 hits today wasting all their runs, or 2) He'll choke under the pressure of it being a big division rivalry game because he's just 20 years old, and today was no fluke for the White Sox bats.

I guess the safest move would be to bench him, but I would feel awfully stupid after he throws a no-hitter. No matter what, I just hope the White Sox don't make him look like the torched Fantastic Four character like they did to Miner and Bonine today.

Don't Bully Our Bully, But We'll Bully Yours

Bob Biscigliano — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 15:38:00 -0400

Coming into this season everyone doubted the Tigers' bullpen. After the Toronto series, everyone STILL doubted the bullpen. Well, the boys are back into town and are giving everyone reason to believe, we have noooothing to doubt.

Our Tagers just completed a Mr. Clean sponsored sweep of the Texas Rangers on Easter Sunday. This weekend, the Tigers bullpen threw nine innings and allowed just one run!

That lone run was a meaningless one on Friday in our 15-2, bend you over our knee and spank you, victory. Also, it was given up by Eddie Bonine who arguably shouldn't even be in our bullpen and whose name might imply that such outings come with the territory.

Since Bonine gave up that solo shot to Nelson Cruz on Friday, the Tigers bully has been PERF, or perfect. They've retired 24 consecutive Texas Rangers through eight innings and have two saves. This is not some fluke, critics. This is an indication of what this bullpen is capable of this year.

Texas has one of the best Louisville slugger-filled lineups in the league with Ian Kinsler, Nelson Cruz, Chris Davis, Michael Young, Hank Blalock and oh, that guy named Josh Hamilton.

They can straight mash, but Detroit's bullpen made it look like they were using the chop sticks they got while eating dinner at Somerset Mall's PF Changs.

Yesterday, Fernando Rodney closed out a solid performance by striking out the side and doing a mixture between some type of dance and Joel Zumaya's patented fist pump.

Today, he did it the ol' fashioned way by letting them put it in play, a one-two-three nonetheless. Nate Robertson threw a perfect two frames yesterday and Brandon "Todd Jones" Lyon bounced back from his miserable outing in Toronto by throwing two perfect innings today too.

Meanwhile, the Tigers had a lot of fun bullying the Rangers bullpen this weekend as they scored 13 runs against them. Today, it was at the expense of fellow twitterer C.J. Wilson.

Power surged by Brandon M-Inge's lead off home run in the 8th, the Tigers mustered up the best rally stew of the season to score six runs on five hits and pull off an amazing Easter Sunday comeback victory. Brandon Inge also had a two run single in that same inning.

That is probably the first time he's ever had two hits in one inning in a Tigers uniform. I'm sure he's right there with the bullpen spitting in the faces of all those Tigers fans who have relentlessly picked on them. Hopefully, they can keep it up--the good play and the spitting.

Don't look now Tigers nation, but the Tigers are 4-3 and sitting atop the Central Division standings on Apr. 12! Maybe I should have left off the exclamation point there but for a team that didn't even reach the .500 mark until June 28th last season (80 games), I'm going to enjoy this. Playoffs here we come. Back off.

No Depression Today: MSU's Championship Appearance Lifts Detroit Spirits

Bob Biscigliano — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 17:08:00 -0400

In case you were wondering, there were no Sunday Night Anti-Depressants last night. With Michigan State making the National Championship and the official start to the 2009 MLB season today, there really shouldn't be anything for you to be depressed about.

For those of you who just can't get jacked up, then I guess slit your wrists or whatever it is you wackos would normally do to deal with your depression; just don't get any blood on Detroit's parade right now. (Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any suicides that occur as a result of reading this post, because we are just kidding and don't really want anyone to slit their wrists. Thanks).

Anyway, since Michigan State is in the National Championship game in Detroit, there have been a lot of stories about how great this is for Detroit and how it provides an escape for those in Michigan who are going through a relatively tougher time than the rest of the country.

Frankly, we all know that Michigan State isn't going to single-handedly reverse the fortunes of the city or the state. Sure, we joke about it, but for a city of believers and hard workers, it does provide inspiration. It instills a sense of hope that makes us think that this has happened for a reason and that, just maybe, something like this can help ignite an otherwise fading city.

If anything, as I said, it certainly serves as a distraction until the state gets back to working hard to overcome these hardships. AsEminem said in his great tribute to Detroit before the Final Four game on CBS, "We may be down, but we'll never be out." The game begins at 9 p.m. ET tonight asMSU takes on UNC for the national championship.

I wanted to share the videos that have been shown in the past couple days. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a couple on the Internet. I was able to find one that aired on SportsCenter Sunday, though. It's presented by Michigander MikeTirico. I think it really gets the message across nicely:

Walter Hermann: Unsung Player Coming Through for Detroit

Bob Biscigliano — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 14:19:00 -0400

'With Malice' has declared April 5 Unsung Hero Day and I am making my submission.

I think selecting Walter Hermann, aka Fabio, is the right choice for the Detroit Pistons.

First of all, pure physical attributes alone could win Walter Hermann this honor. The long greasy blond hair, furrowed eye brows with the look in his eye that could get any unsuspecting female in the hay, and his enormous banana hands that make a basketball look like a slightly over-sized orange are all characteristics worthy of recognition.

Fans who don't visit the Pistons website on a daily basis may not know this, but the Pistons even advertised their ladies' night at the Palace with Hermann's face. I imagine there were thousands of chicks at that game, swooning at the sight of him.

(A quick note: Great marketing job by the Pistons. As you may not know, Hermann's from Argentina and their women are absolutely babe-alicious. I'm sure the Pistons were thinking that Hermann's looks and allegiences to the country would at least attract a few more lookers. Kudos Pistons).

As for basketball, well, Hermann is just okay but everyone knows he gives it his all when given the chance. He doesn't really get a fair shot, despite being 6'9 with some of the biggest hands I've ever seen. He plays with a crooked smile all the time and almost once a game (when he plays), he palms the ball with one hand and takes three large steps past his defender and puts up some ridiculous circus shot (or maybe it's "sensational?") Either way, it's quite a display and he's a fan favorite.

He only averages 3.8 PPG (5.0 PPG in his career) and is shooting a less-than-desired 40 percent from the field this season, but I did a little research to see just how good Hermann could be if he got some regular minutes.

This season he has only played more than 15 minutes ten times. (I single out those ten games because those are the games where you can conceivably argue that he got enough minutes to warm up and show what he really could do. And those ten games are what really make his minutes per game sky rocket. He would be down in the three- to seven-minute range had it not been for these ten games. In fact, he received zero minutes for almost three months during this season).

Now, you might be thinking, "Well, he should feel so lucky with playing 15-plus minutes in ten games," but wrap your minds around this: In those ten games, Walter Hermann is averaging 11.3 PPG in just 19 minutes per game. Just for comparison, Tayshaun Prince starts, averages 37.8 minutes per game, and only averages 14.3 PPG.

Hermann could arguably be averaging 20 PPG if he got those type of minutes. It should also be noted, that Hermann is shooting 55 percent from the field in those games. Also, in a few of those games he only took three shots, so that average could be even higher with more shot opportunities.

Now I'm not saying I think Hermann should start over Tayshaun Prince, or anyone for that matter, because that would probably make me certifiably insane. I am saying, however, that Hermann is a solid NBA player, an unsung hero if you will, and could provide even more if he was given quality minutes.

I do think Coach Michael Curry is becoming aware of his abilities, though. In the past couple months, Walter Hermann has been inserted into the lineup during the waning seconds of close games. In about four or five of those games, he has taken the last shot (game tying or game winning). He finally knocked one down against Miami a couple weeks ago to give the Pistons a one point lead with thirteen seconds left, but that was too much time for Dwayne Wade and the Heat as Miami ended up pulling that one out.

As I said before, Hermann does everything with an extra level of energy that symbolizes an unsung hero. He has monstrous hands, goldilocks, pizzazz, and a passion that a few of the other Pistons' players could use during this stretch run to help get them into the playoffs and beyond the first round.

Walter Hermann is my Unsung Player. And after seeing the following video I think he would be yours too:

Sheff's Out Of The Kitchen: Detroit Tigers Release Gary Sheffield Tuesday

Bob Biscigliano — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 13:10:00 -0400

News that comes as somewhat of a shock here. The Tigers released Gary Sheffield early Tuesday morning, telling him he wasn't good enough to clog their DH hole anymore (that's what she said). The move comes just a day after the Tigs acquired speedy outfielder Josh Anderson from the Atlanta Braves for a minor league reliever. U

Unfortunately, the Tigers will still be responsible for the $14 million Sheff was due to make this season.

Otherwise, this is a good deal, because it makes the Tigers a much more versatile team. The DH spot can serve as a revolving door when need be and, as a result, will allow more playing time for new 26-year old Tiger Josh Anderson. I imagine Guillen, Thames (if he's still on the team), Anderson, and maybe Magglio Ordonez will rotate in and out of the DH spot, depending on matchups and the way they feel physically on given days.

It has long been known that skipper Jim Leyland has major man crushes on speedy lefties. Therefore, releasing Sheff and opening the door wider for Anderson to play appeases him, despite the loyalty Skip has displayed toward Sheff over the past couple years.

Sheffield has battled injury problems ever since he signed that three-year mega deal with Detroit. He struggled most of his first season before bouncing back and finishing with a .265 BA, 25 HR, 75 RBI, and a .840 OPS (his lowest OPS in a full season since 1993). Last year, his shoulder problems worsened and he struggled immensely, finishing with a .225 BA, 19 HR, 57 RBIs, and a career-low (minimum 100 games) OPS of .726.

In his final year of his contract coming into this spring, Sheffield vouched that he was healthier than ever and looking to have a big season. Some were even saying he was a favorite to win the Comeback Player of the Year Award. Coaches and scouts felt the same way, as they noticed that little extra oomph to his swing that he didn't possess in the past few years.

Unfortunately, it wasn't translating to the games, as he was hitting a buck seventy-eight (.178) in 50 ABs this spring. Sheffield may be just one home run shy of 500 and a future Hall of Famer, but his time has passed.

I was skeptical at first when we signed Sheff after the 2006 World Series. Aside from the ridonkulous contract we gave him, i viewed him as a washed-up team cancer waiting to happen. While I stand by my "he's washed up" skepticism, he wasn't that bad of a teammate.

Sure, he was outspoken and had his fair share of time in the limelight as a result of some of his quotes, but for the most part, he fit right in with the Tigers. As far as I know, there were never any major problems with him in that clubhouse. That being said, I'm not going to raise my glass and give him a toast for the two wonderfully subpar years he gave to the Tigers, but I felt I should clear that air nonetheless.

Also, he was not always a boring rally killer for Tigers fans. For example, who remembers his game winning home run against Daniel Cabrera and subsequent staredown or the fight night with Fausto Carmona? For those two moments, I'll for sure remember that Sheffield was once actually a Detroit Tiger.

In the meantime, Sheff can now swim in his $14 million while he waits for some team to call upon his services, and why not? It's on us. If baseball doesn't work out, perhaps he can swipe one of the popular "Sheff" hats and re-enter the kitchen in Borgata. Although I heard that Chef Ramsay is a real hardass, so maybe that's not a great idea. Their personalities might clash.

As for the Tigers, it'll be exciting seeing a speedster in the lineup some days, and maybe even every day. Who knows? Maybe the Tigs plan on moving Granderson down in the order to allow Anderson to start at the top of the lineup. I don't remember the last time the Tigers had a 40-50 SB threat. Anybody recall? Ty Cobb? I'm excited at the prospect.

Go Tigers!

The Neifi Perez Fantasy Baseball League

Bob Biscigliano — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:35:00 -0400

Have you ever completed a fantasy baseball draft and looked over your team one last time before you passed out from how piss drunk you were and say, "Wow my team is effing awful; this is by far and away the shittiest team I've ever had; it really sucks??"

Well, now you can say that and still win your league!

Our new friends over at Razzball invited me to join their free Second Annual Fantasy Razzball League where it benefits you to field the worst team possible. If you don't get how it works here is how the points work:

- 10 Team Leagues, MLB universe, 20+ games previous season for position eligibility (10 games in-season)
- Weekly Roster Changes (leaves you time to lavish on your Daily Leagues)
- C / 1B / 2B / SS / 3B / CI / MI / 5 OF / 9 P
- No innings or AB mins/maxes
Hitter Stats
AB = +2
H = -3
R = -4
HR = -10
RBI = -4
K = +2
Pitcher Stats
IP = -1
HR = +4
L = +8
K = -1
ER = +1.5
H+BB = +1
The point structure makes it so that about 2/3 of the league’s hitters as well as just about every pitcher has positive value. So leaving a roster spot open or filled by a guy who plays once a week will hurt.

Some notable players from your beloved Tigers who were more than worthy of a roster spot in this league last year were: Kenny Rogers and Nate Robertson (both in the top 10 for pitchers); and sadly, our ace Justin Verlander.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because last night was my league's draft for NeifiBall2—the Antonio Alfonseca Division and I want to show you my team (Chad Curtis), to show you just how pathetic it is.

I will admit though that this was tough to do. I'm used to fielding winners and these guys typically are losers. I'm hoping with just the right mix of terribleness, a negative attitude, and some sub par coaching by me we can take this thing.

Coolest thing about this league: winner out of all the Razzball leagues gets a $50 gift certificate to Taco Bell. That's like 11 late night No. 8 meals.

Here is my team:

(Click to enlarge)

I have eight of the top 38 projected worst hitters in baseball. Now, I know you are all disappointed that I have two Tigers on my team. Don't worry. I consider them both sleepers. Inge is known to flirt with the Mendoza line and strikeout a ton.

As for Done-trelle, if the Tigers give him a shot at the fifth spot in the rotation, I'm almost certain to rack up some BB, HR, R, and L points, but it's looking like this guy will be making my first week cuts as he probably won't break camp with the Tags. It pains me to say it, but it's probably true. I hope I'm wrong, though.

My other sleepers: Justin Upton strikes out a TON, but he's projected to have monster power numbers this season which would hurt me if that happens. Delmon Young was given an honoree spot since he sucked sooo much for me in my legitimate fantasy baseball league last year.

Ironically, I drafted him in the sixth round (first round after keepers) in that league. There is also a soft spot in my heart for Delmon since he did give Detroit4lyfe (or my girlfriend) four "family" tickets to the Tigers/Twins game this past summer.

The excessive creepy text messages he sent to my girlfriend afterwards was also further reason to reward him with a roster spot on my Neifi-league team.

My pitching staff is almost too good, but I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for some Mike Maroth-like pick ups during the first few weeks of games. I'm a scavenger on the waiver wire.

If you areinterested in playing in this league make sure you drop a line on Razzball's website. I think there might still be room. It's really a great idea. It's a league for the little people, a place where they can go and feel accepted. My kind of place.

Michigan Hockey Will Try to Carry the Torch

Bob Biscigliano — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:31:00 -0400

Throughout the course of the game with the University of Michigan in the second round of the NCAA men's basketball tournament, I saw more blood pour out of Blake Griffin's orifices than I've ever seen in a "Friday the 13th" or "Halloween" movie.

Michigan battered and bruised the Oklahoma center, but in the end the Sooners moved onto the sweet 16 with a 73-63 win. The Wolverines return everyone in their rotation next year but backup guards C.J. Lee and David Merrit.

While the Michigan basketball season ended with a valiant loss, the Michigan hockey team (below) is about to begin play in their NCAA tournament.

Michigan's hockey team has won a record 9 national titles, and has made a record 19 straight appearances in the NCAA tournament. They are tied with Minnesota for most tournament appearances with 32.

In my time at U-M the hockey team won two national championships, (1996 and 1998), and the Wolverines had 6 All-Americans, (C Brendan Morrison three times, LW John Madden, G Marty Turco, and RW Bill Muckalt), and a Hobey Baker winner (Morrison).

They have had 8 additional All-Americans and another Hobey Baker winner (Kevin Porter in 2008) since that era.

No. 1 seed Michigan (29-11-0) plays No. 4 Air Force (27-10-2) in an East regional semi-final in Bridgeport, Connecticut on Friday at 3pm on ESPNU.

No. 2 Yale plays No. 3 Vermont in the other semi on Friday, with the regional title game slated for 6:30pm on Saturday, also on ESPNU.

Notre Dame, which knocked the Wolverines out of last year's Frozen Four, is the #1 seed in a Midwest bracket that features Northeastern, Cornell and Bemidji State. BU and Denver are the other No. 1 seeds.

Michigan State did not make the tournament field, and U-M is the only team from the state of Michigan in the tournament.

Brackets will be busted this weekend the world over as the regional semifinals and finals of the NCAA men's basketball tournament take place Thursday through Sunday.

The only seeds above No. 4 left are No. 5 Purdue and No. 12 Arizona, which really pisses me off because all of the mindless wimps who pick the lower seeds to win every game leading up to the Final Four are at the top of my work pool, and gloating I might add.

It makes me sick. Having said that, it creates a weekend full of exciting matchups, particularly No. 2 Duke versus No. 3 Villanova tonight, and No. 2 Michigan State against defending champ No. 3 Kansas and No. 2 Oklahoma versus No. 3 Syracuse tomorrow night.

No. 1 North Carolina (below) gets a stern test from No. 4 Gonzaga tomorrow night at 9:57pm on CBS. Ty Lawson will play with his injured toe.

Case of the Mondays

Bob Biscigliano — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:35:14 -0400

I don't have any intention of making this a weekly post or anything. This will be just for shifts and squiggles, whenever I feel like it. Whenever I'm having a real bad Case of the Mondays.

Anyhoo, the Lions are apparently communicating with the agents of a number of players who could wind up being their No. 1 overall pick. One of those guys is Baylor OT Jason Smith (and there are even reports that this is going to be the guy we pick).

I've said before that I will support pretty much anyone the Lions have on their wish list for No. 1. Well, I really want to renege that because I'm beginning to think that it'd be very anticlimactic if we selected an offensive lineman. I know Miami did it last year and they went to the playoffs, and we desperately need help up front, but hear me out. Didn't most Lions fans just spend three-fourths of last season rooting against them for the sole purpose of crashing and landing the No. 1 pick overall? (rooting for 0-16 came later).

Is an offensive lineman really what we want to see as the product of all that hard work? All that energy in the paper bags and signs for some fat guy we'll judge forever by sacks allowed, pancake blocks, and pancakes eaten?

That's not sexy at all.

Personally, I'd rather see us get a guy who can make an obvious impact. A guy that throws or runs for touchdowns; or a guy that gets sacks, causes fumbles, and gets interceptions. A guy that can formulate cool celebrations and get fined for it.

O-linemen have nothing to celebrate, except for losing weight, and that would probably cost them their job. Not to mention, we barely played our last first-round O-lineman selection. Oh, well. I'll happily trade in an exciting No. 1 draft pick if it translates into wins come September.

In other news, Dwyane Wade slung his team and the whistles of the officials over his shoulder and carried the Heat to victory Sunday against the Pistons. I know, I'm surprised his shoulder was able to support all that weight, too, considering it was the same shoulder that forced him to cry and be carted off the court in a wheelchair a couple years ago. He looks like one of the elderly in a nursing home in that clip.

I will admit he was superb and really proved why he deserves at least mentioning in the NBA MVP talks. He literally carried the Heat. I'm not trying to take too much away from him, but he was also the beneficiary of some rather blatant "superstar treatment" calls. It was as if he was calling his own fouls (and calling everything) and no one else was allowed to call anything.

For example, Rodney Stuckey was absolutely mugged on the Pistons' last possession, but there was no call. And why would there be? Dwyane Wade was guarding him. According to Jeff Van Gundy, superstar color commentator (and I say that through my unbrushed clenched teeth), Wade's defense could prevent terrorist attacks on America. So, of course there was no foul there; he's not just a shooting guard, he's a National Guard.

As if watching that wasn't nauseating enough, Bob Biscigliano was up all night long, analyzing his previous meals...if you catch my smelly draft. Except it was coming out of my mouth. In chunks. T.M.I.? Well, Bob's going to gently remove the tampon inserted between his legs, take a Tums, and try to battle through it. I heard that's what Ryan Seacrest always does before American Idol shows. Seacrest out.

Monday's Thoughts: Armstrong's Fall and Schilling's Goodbye

Bob Biscigliano — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:45:00 -0400

Monday stream of consciousness...

Lance Armstrong fell in a race in Spain and fractured his clavicle leaving his ability to race in this year's Tour de France in question. Race officials later showed up at the hospital where Armstrong was being treated and collected urine for a random drug test. They did bring flowers and a nice get-well-soon card, however.

Lawyer/boyfriend/sycophant Howard K. Stern plotted to kill Anna Nicole Smith by giving her a daily cocktail of sedatives, anti-anxiety medications, and narcotics that would kill a large horse? Noooooooo, I cannot believe that. He loved her, not her money!

I would place this turn of events in the "Alanis Morissette, Isn't It Ironic, Don't You Think?" category, considering that Ms. Smith initially acquired her wealth by thrusting her triple D's in the face of a 103 year old guy who was two hard coughs from his deathbed. Not to mention a man who also happened to be worth a few cool billion and was in a feud with his kids who would otherwise have inherited his fortune.

While running for the position of interim Mayor of Detroit, Dave Bing recently revealed many of his other achievements: 1) He has a law degree and a medical degree from Harvard, although he chooses not to practice law or medicine because of other interests. 2) He is an accomplished astronaut and has ventured on several missions to the moon. 3) Volta, Ampere, Ohm, and Coulomb were idiots; it was actually Dave who discovered electricity, and the true unit of electrical charge should be the "Bing". 4) He is very close to curing the common cold.

Curt Schilling retired from baseball, and about ten years too late. This self-important, hypocritical blowhard will be the most annoying geezer at the retirement home, always turning in other folks for cheating on their bingo cards, criticizing his peers for crapping in their pants, and demanding a list of all the fogeys who received an extra cup of rice pudding at lunch.

Look for Matt Holliday and Bobby Crosby of the A's, and Chris Duncan and Skip Schumaker of the Cardinals to have huge years in 2009. Why? They've hired Mark McGwire as their "hitting instructor". It's not that I think that much of the giant ginger as a hitting coach. I'm just anticipating that the special "protein shakes" that McGwire gives them after their workouts may result in significantly increased power numbers, unprovoked rages, and body hair in weird places.

I like Jim Schwartz so far. It's still early, and there's only one place to go after suffering through a decade with Marty Monday Mornhing (weg) Sickness and Rod "Don't make fun of me for being a nepotist or I'll get you fired" Marinelli, but this guy is saying all the right things.

The Lions have made a couple constructive moves already since his hiring, and he aptly recognized that Marinelli had built a defense full of guys who are/were fast but who are/were also pussy willows that would be pancaked by a stiff breeze. I just hope that he is leading a push to trade for Jay Cutler. The Lions need help at every position, but they will never contend for anything without a stud under center.

Detroit4lyfe's Tipsy Tips on Fantasy Baseball

Bob Biscigliano — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 01:47:00 -0400

It's that time of year again. We're just about two weeks away from MLB Opening Day, a National holiday, and that means it's right around that time when you baseball geeks should be holding your annual fantasy baseball drafts.

Some of you may have already had your drafts, and if you have, then you are not going to benefit too much from this nugget.

That's okay, there's always next year.

For those of you who are in smart leagues and hold your drafts closer to Opening Day, then you will benefit greatly from all of these tips on fantasy baseball:

1. First and foremost, don't miss your draft. I did that today and it's not only embarrassing but you'll look at your automatically-picked team and find out you have AJ Pierzynski. It's the worst feeling ever.

Also, don't have your girlfriend or wife as the one to remind you. It's obvious she'll conveniently remind you it's two hours later than it really is, thus opening your entire night for her. You don't want to end up washing the dishes, cuddling, and watching "My Best Friend's Wedding." (This didn't happen to me, but I can imagine it would suck).

2. Always, always, ALWAYS drink beer during your draft. Liquor is not what men do during fantasy baseball drafts and milk is for babies. Beer opens up your fantasy baseball brainwaves and makes that third-round Christian Guzman selection seem like a good idea—at least until the morning.

3. Be prepared. Have your beer and cheat sheets on hand. Make sure you can quote Peter Gammons and Brandon Funston to defend all your draft picks.

Most importantly, make sure you drop a deuce forty-five minutes before the first pick, even if you have to force it out, Corky. You do not want to have to set up a queue mid-draft so you can go relieve yourself.

If you're a real fantasy trooper-pooper, you'll have a chair specially made for such emergencies. If not, be prepared.

4. Arrive to your draft at least thirty minutes prior to first pick. You want to rattle off as many jokes as you possibly can before it's time for you to get serious. Thirty minutes is more than enough time to pick on the guy who drafted a player who just announced he'll be out for the season because he's going to have Tommy John or ask another guy in your league if he's going to draft a retired guy with his fifth pick like he did the year before.

Trash talking is one of the best parts of fantasy baseball drafts so make sure you allot yourself the time to take part in it.

5. Only quick comments to make fun of someone else's picks are acceptable during the draft; at all other time it's strictly business.

When someone picks a second-tier closer with his third overall pick it's okay—in fact, it's imperative—that you let them know how awful that pick was and how quickly they should probably just hand in their money and leave the league at once.

Similar comments are acceptable for anyone who picks a Chicago White Sox player, particularly AJ Pierzynski.

6. If you don't have a Detroit Tigers player on your team at the end of the draft, that means you have chosen to lose. That's up to you. I missed my draft and not only do I have Queerzynski, but I also do not have any Tigers.

I have already accepted the fact that I will probably lose in this league. I will pick up seven Tigers as soon as I am able to, but that might not change my poor drafting performance. Either way, I will try my best to rectify the situation. Which leads me to number seven....

7. Don't be the guy who has a dead team. I've been in leagues and I'll look at the managers list in late July and some teams latest activity dates back to before Opening Day. That's simply unacceptable, inexusable, and that, I will not forgive.

I kicked two kids out of my league this year for not being active enough. Be active. (Sexually active, too. Not for fantasy baseball purposes, but just because it's fun.)

8. Speaking of being sexually active, don't be too active. Aside from the diseases that come with being too sexually active, being too active in fantasy baseball is annoying to those who have jobs and can't sit on the internet all day waiting for the latest closer to go down so they can pick up his replacement before anyone else.

I'm pretty sure statistics prove that fantasy baseball players who make the most moves in fantasy are also the ones who are most likely to be convicted of online sex crimes. It's science.

9. The biggest key to having a successful fantasy baseball team is having a good fantasy team name. We wrote a post a little while ago with some great fantasy sports names.

One of my favorites that is probably too long is, "I'm not a Bedard, I'm just a little Slowey."

Make sure you spend at least 30 hours formulating the perfect team name. Incorporating some of your fantasy players is always a classy move. The two I always use are "The Big Dombrowski" and my original favorite, "DereLickMyBallsJeter."

10. Last, but certainly not least, always act professionally with your team. Pretend you are the Owner, General Manager, Agent, and Coach of your team. Take your starters to gourmet dinners, travel to games and buy your pitchers hot dogs while they sit in the bullpen, and sit outside their houses at night to make sure they are going to bed at a respectable hour.

I promise that's not creepy, it's nice. You want your players performing at their absolute peaks; therefore, you want to give them the best treatment possible.

If players are struggling give them some days off to let them get a grip, and if that doesn't help, put them on the trading block or simply let them go for the guy in your farm system you've had your eye on. This is all business and you should be treating your team like it's a two hundred million dollar franchise.

Sign off on all league emails as the skipper, agent, general manager, or owner depending on the topic of the email. Anything less would be unprofessional and letting your team down. (Also, don't be afraid to publish team news articles in your league's forum to let other managers know of happenings coming from your camp.)

Fantasy baseball is a serious thing. Treat it that way. Listen to what I say, or you'll pay.

March Madness Is Running Wild: A Recap of Day One

Bob Biscigliano — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:08:00 -0400

Yesterday was arguably the best sporting day of the year: The opening day of the NCAA men's basketball tournament.

Sixteen games over 12 hours.

Cinderella taking one last look in the mirror to make sure her ass doesn't look fat in her dress before she runs out onto the court to make Bryce Drew-type history.

Goliath fighting the urge to look past his opponent with three directions and two hyphens in his school's name.

A fresh, sparkling, unmarked bracket waiting to be gradually covered with red lines, called a whore, and then thrown on top of a turd in the upstairs bathroom.

Life just doesn't get any better than this.

Through the completion of the first 12 games, there were no major upsets. Michigan, a No. 10 seed in the South region, was able to stave off a late comeback attempt by No. 7 seed Clemson and move onto the second round, defeating the Tigers 62-59.

Manny Harris (below) willed the Wolverines to victory with 23 points.

Three-point shooting was a key, as Michigan shot 10-for-26 from behind the stripe while Clemson was just 5-for-22.

Stu Douglass should be commended for goading hothead Terrence "Sheed" Oglesby into elbowing him in his chops, leading to Oglesby's ejection from the game with 16 minutes left.

Zach Gibson also managed to make a few nice plays while not looking entirely clumsy and silly in doing so. Since he is 6-foot-10-inches, I would still like young Gibson to try to grab a rebound with his hands every once in a while instead of deflecting it backwards like he's Karch Kiraly tipping it to the back row all the time.

Michigan will play Oklahoma on Saturday in St. Louis.

Congratulations go out to Tyler Hans-bra (below) of the South region's No. 1 seed North Carolina Tar Heels for breaking that jerk J.J. Reddick's ACC scoring record. The 'Heels rolled over Radford in their first round game in Greensboro, and play SEC champ (oxymoron) No. 8 seed LSU on Saturday. LSU beat Butler 75-71.

Finally, we have an injury report out of Greensboro. The UNC team doctor took a look at Ty Lawson's toe and told him, "It's just a little boo boo, get out there and play."

Here's a shot of Lawson's injured toe taken in the training room:

It doesn't look too bad. Roy Williams said Lawson will either play Saturday or lose his scholarship.

Worst Uniforms Ever

Bob Biscigliano — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 13:35:00 -0400

Cuba during the WBC:

With their all red uniforms they look like that team in the youth baseball tournaments who always gets laughed at with their colored pants and proceeds to lose by mercy rule in three innings 15-0. At these tournaments you could always tell if a team was good before you even played them simply by how they looked (as childish as that may sound). But let it be known that my childhood team, the Barons, always had very snazzy uniforms and only wore black pants for one game at a very young age before we nixed those when we realized how ridiculous they looked (by the way we lost that game 10-0). Ironically, Cuba is a very talented team, but in the World Baseball Classic was ousted in round two by the reigning champs from Japan.

Chicago Bulls on St. Patrick's Day:

They wore all green uniforms in honor of St. Patrick and looked absolutely preposterous considering green is not seen anywhere in their typical jerseys. For a team with all red uniforms to switch to green for the day seems a little awkward. The weird thing was that they were playing the Celtics whose logo is a clover leaf. Hmm doesn't it seem like maybe the Celtics should have been the team wearing their typical green uniforms?

These are just two of the more recent horrendous uniform sitings across the sports world but here's a list of some of my favorites (or should I say least favorites):

Chicago White Sox (shorts alternate- 1976)

And no, this is not a softball team.

Philadelphia Eagles (1933, 2007)

Boston Celtics, early years

Pittsburgh Pirates (1970's):

I don't know what looks funnier, the uniform or the guy in it.

Anyway, that's just a few, and I'm sure there are many more so feel free to comment and leave a link to some of the worst uniforms of all time.

Hump Day Look Alikes

Bob Biscigliano — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 02:47:00 -0400

Hump Day usually means it's the middle of the week and everything is all downhill from Wednesday (the hump) into the weekend. To me, whenever I hear someone say "oh, it's hump day" I dismiss it as if they are just exclaiming they're horny.

Without further ado, here are some of my Hump Day Look Alikes:

Cole Hamels and Zac Efron

Cole Hamels is getting very 'Efron' on us with his long hair and soft High School Musical voice. They also share the same bushy caterpillar eyebrows that often need some plucking.

Doug Gottlieb, ESPN College Basketball analyst and Dennis (Glenn Howerton) from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

They sound the same and have that same cynical look in their eye. And if you think Dennis has no basketball knowledge to match Doug's, then you're absolutely wrong. Check out this clip.

Stephen Curry and Barack Obama.

They are both the most powerful and important players on their respective teams. Curry: Davidson and Obama: America
The are both light skinned, skinny basketball players with killer jump shots.
I also firmly believe had Davidson been in the tournament again this year Barack-etology would have picked them to go far. (PS-I would comment on the president's picks but I'm afraid a secret agent would zip line through my window and take me hostage). ((Also, another comparison of Curry could be to poker player, Phil Ivey.)

Julian Tavarez (now of the Washington Nationals) and Freddy Krueger. If you haven't heard this look alike before, now you have. Their crater faces and sick personalities make them long lost brothers. Their job descriptions are also fairly similar. Tavarez uses his fingers to master his pitches to pick apart hitters, while Krueger uses his blade fingers to ritualistically murder his opposition. You should have all heard by now, Tavarez's quote after signing with the Nationals. Certainly, that must be how free agents signing with the Lions feel like.

Tony Dungy and Soda Popinski

Everyone's played Mike Tyson's Punch Out and Soda Popinski is usually a favorite choice. As is choosing the Colts when playing Madden. Their bald heads, mustaches, and go get-em offensive approaches prove that they are brothers separated at birth.

Paul Pierce and this kid

I used to hate/respect Paul Pierce but ever since last year's NBA Finals, I've just flat out hated him. How can you go from being carried off the floor in a wheelchair to running around hitting big jump shots? He calls himself the Truth, but there was nothing truthful to those unnecessary theatrics. The only thing that's the Truth is he's a punk and I hope the Celtics die of ghonorreah and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?

I thought the title of this was a novel idea (hump day look alikes), but I wanted to google it just to be certain. Sure enough, I found out that one other site has a Hump Day Humor look alikes section. It would be unprofessional of me not to link to their site now. Here are their look alikes. UGH.

Four Luckiest Things That Will Happen to Detroit Sports Teams

Bob Biscigliano — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 01:04:00 -0400

Since it's St. Patrick's Day and Detroit4lyfe is probably like eight percent Irish, we're going to do a holiday themed post here. Detroit sports teams all drank their green beer and found their four-leaf clovers today. The lucky results are still to come, but they will blow your freaking mind:

The Four Luckiest Things That WILL Happen to the Detroit Sports teams in the months to come:

4. Detroit Red Wings goaltending, (mainly Chris Osgood) will start using American cheese on their sandwiches, rather than swiss cheese, stop giving up so many goals, and lead the Wings to their second straight Stanley Cup Championship.

The Red Wings are probably the least of Detroit4lyfe's concerns considering they are the NHL's best team and are heavily favored to win another Stanley Cup; however, their goals against average is nothing to be proud of.

The Wings have lost a couple ugly games in the past month, giving up eight goals in two different games. Their GAA is 3.22 since the end of February; and obviously, that's not a problem when your team averages more goals per game than that, but it's still not comforting.

Chris Osgood and Ty Conklin will need to tighten up their five holes come playoff time. I think they will and the Wings prevail.

3. Allen Iverson will conform to the Pistons' system, play some defense, and happily come off the bench en route to the Pistons' world-shocking Championship run. Iverson has said all the right things, but he has yet to prove it on the court.

The Pistons are clearly worse with him running the floor doing his thang, taking lots of shots, and not running the offense that has helped the Pistons get to six consecutive Eastern Conference finals.

One of his boys in Philadelphia says AI doesn't want to be a Piston, but I think a chance at a 'ship will change his mind quicker than you can say, "how much playing time would AI sacrifice if an AI could sacrifice playing time" really fast, and accurately, seven times.

2. Joel Zumaya will officially box up his Guitar Hero/Rock Band video games and return to the Tigers' bullpen healthier than ever. Zumaya, every time he comes back from his injuries, claims he's in great shape, his arm is healthy, and he's ready to rock (as in pitch); but no one will ever believe it until pictures of him playing Guitar Hero stop popping up on the Internet and he puts an end to these nagging right arm injuries.

1. The Lions convince the Broncos to trade Cutler to Detroit. The Lions recent trade for Pro Bowl LB Julian Peterson has a lot of people convinced that they are no longer interested in Aaron Curry at No. 1 and will now take a QB (presumably Stafford). However, I'm not entirely convinced.

The Lions could either use Peterson and later picks as trade bait; or say Peterson is their Curry and trade their No. 1 to the Broncos for Cutler.

While I don't endorse the trading of their No. 1 overall pick for a diabetic quarterback who is arguably extra-sensitive to consensually normal business aspects of the game (everyone is trade-able), I won't neglect it as a possibility.

It is also possible that the Lions could land Cutler with their No. 20 pick since there is a small chance that Mark Sanchez will be available. That's probably a long shot since Sanchez probably won't be available (Jets will probably get him if someone else doesn't before them).

With that being said, Cutler has officially requested for a trade and there may not be any other choice for the Broncos but to give him to the team that can give them the best in return. I will pet my lucky rabbit's foot that the Detroit Lions are that team.

Kevin Bacon Was Right, Real Men Dance!

Bob Biscigliano — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:07:00 -0400

The Michigan Wolverines' men's basketball team is going Dancing Thursday.

No. 10 Michigan (20-13) plays No. 7 Clemson (23-8) in Kansas City at 7:10 PM EST in the first round of the NCAA men's basketball tournament. It sure beats going to a bad fraternity party or, worse, playing in the NIT.

I feel the same way about the NIT that George Bush (Will Ferrell's version) feels about France: It's full of pus*ies and di*k grabbers. It's about time the proud Michigan basketball program returned to the limelight.

In that vein, here are the five best Michigan basketball teams from the last 20 years:

5) 1997-'98

This team beat Duke, went 26-9 (11-5 Big Ten), secured the trophy for winning the inaugural Big Ten tournament, and garnered a No. 3 seed in the NCAA tournament before bowing out to UCLA in the second round.

Robert Traylor (below) was the most talented player on this squad, although he spent more time in the McDonalds on South U. gobbling up Big Macs than he did in the weight room. Louis Bullock was the point guard and Robbie Reid was without a doubt the best Mormon shooting guard in the country.

Maceo Baston never really fulfilled his potential, and Jerod Ward was a complete bust. Travis Conlan (St. Clair Shores Lakeshore) and I once did landscaping together in Ann Arbor. He trimmed a nice hedge.

4) 1993-'94

This edition of the Wolverines featured the Fab Four, as Chris Webber (Detroit Country Day) had been selected No. 1 in the 1993 NBA draft. Jalen Rose (Detroit Southwestern, below) was the leader and Juwan Howard was the low-post presence.

They finished 24-8 (13-5 Big Ten) after losing in the Elite Eight to eventual champion Arkansas and their "40 minutes of Hell", led by coach Nolan Richardson and star forward Corliss Williamson.

Williamson would torture me again a decade later when he attempted to sabotage the Detroit Pistons run to an NBA title in 2004 by jacking up as many bad shots as he could immediately upon entering each playoff game from the bench.

3) 1991-'92

This was the coming-out party for the "Fab 5" (below): Center Chris Webber and small forward Jalen Rose from Detroit, power forward Juwan Howard from Chicago, and guards Jimmy King and Ray Jackson from Texas would revolutionize college basketball.

Baggy shorts, trash talking, and a creative, crowd-pleasing style of play were introduced to a country which was somewhat polarized by this brash group of freshmen. They went 25-9, beating Temple, Ohio State, and Cincinnati on their way to the national championship game, where they lost to Duke.

2) 1992-'93

The Fab Five returned as sophomores with targets on their backs the size of Britney Spears' stretchmarks. We knew this team was special in December when they beat North Carolina and Kansas on back-to-back days to win the Maui Invitational.

They went 30-5 (15-3 Big Ten) and beat UCLA, Temple and Kentucky in the NCAA tournament before losing a rematch with UNC in the national title game. One testament to how good this team was: Eric Riley, who enjoyed a seven-year career in the NBA, was a senior on this team. He averaged just five points a game.

1) 1988-'89

Steven Spielberg couldn't have scripted this season any better.

The team featured no fewer than seven future NBA players: Glen Rice, who broke the record for points in one NCAA tournament, Rumeal Robinson, who hit the free throws in overtime to beat Seton Hall in the championship game, Sean Higgins, who buried the infamous baseline buzzer-beater to knock out Illinois in the semis, Loy Vaught, Terry Mills, Mark Hughes, and Eric Riley (redshirted).

They went 24-7 in the regular season, yet Bill Frieder agreed just prior to the NCAA tournament to coach Arizona State the following season. Barking that "A Michigan man will coach this team", athletic director Bo Schembechler immediately replaced Frieder with Steve Fisher for the Dance.

Fisher led Michigan to a title in an improbable run.

Let's hope the spirits of proud Wolverines past lift the team on Thursday as we embark on the Beilien era of Michigan basketball. Go Blue!

Remembering Mr. Davidson....

Bob Biscigliano — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:26:00 -0400

As I'm sure you all already know, longtime Detroit Pistons' owner Bill Davidson passed away a few days ago. This was a great loss for the city of Detroit for not only everything he did as owner for the two Detroit basketball teams, but everything he did for the city of Detroit itself. Mr. Davidson was a tremendous man, amazing sports fan, and admirable philanthropist.

I didn't know him personally, but I'm sure Bob Biscigliano and Bill Davidson would have gotten along really well. Mr. Davidson, like Bob Biscigliano, was a big fan of the underdog as he would purchase struggling, almost dead-end businesses and turn them around into prosperous 'winners.'

He did that for the Pistons in 1974, despite being told not to, and he has helped them win three NBA titles. He built them a state of the art facility in 1988, and was amongst one of the first owners in sports to buy a team airplane for traveling to and from games.

In 1999, he bought a struggling seven-year old NHL team, the Tampa Bay Lightning. Just five years later, the Lightning won a Stanley Cup.

He was the owner of the WNBA team, the Detroit Shock, who have added three championships to his resume. One came in 2004, when Bill Davidson became the first owner in sports to have three of his teams win a professional championship within eight months of each other. (Pistons, Shock, and Lightning). A feat that may never happen again.

Outside of sports, Davidson was much of the same. He bought some failing businesses and has turned them around to profitable companies. The Guardian Industries Co., a major manufacturer of glass products for the construction and automotive industries and fiberglass insulation products, is just one example.

Bill Davidson donated over $80 million to charities and businesses in the 1990s alone. In addition, he was a huge proponent of the more recent "Pistons Care Telethon" that raised over $440,000 this year and $410,000 last year for Feeding the Children.

The greatest thing about him has to be how humble he was about all these personal accomplishments as an owner and a person. When he was asked a couple years ago how he wants to be remembered in fifty years, he replied with a modest, "I don't care." He did everything he did because he cared about others, not about himself. Detroit lost a very special man.

The funeral for Mr. Davidson was held today in Birmingham, MI. Hundreds of people showed up to pay their respects for the late Pistons owner.

Here are a couple tribute videos I'd love for you to watch and join in on the moment of silence that was given to him at Pistons' home game following his death. RIP Bill Davidson.

The NIT Has Feelings, Too: Predicting Davidson To Win It All

Bob Biscigliano — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:55:00 -0400

We all know what time of the year it is: It's mid-March Madness, and time for the incessant filling out of NCAA basketball brackets, hoping to have that perfect, million dollar one and be the guy who can run around the office saying "I correctly picked George Mason to go to the Sweet Sixteen in one of my 30 brackets. I'm so smart. Praise me."

And we'll get to all that hoopla, trust me. It's a great year because Michigan is back in the tournament for the first time since my brothers and I would draft teams and play out the games on our five-foot Little Tikes hoops in our basement. That's how we filled out our brackets in 1998.

That was also the last year the Wolverines were "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" to Will Smith's hit song at the time and slow-dancing their way into the tournament to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." In addition to Michigan being in the tournament for the first time in a decade and Michigan State being their regular ol' high-seeded selves, Detroit hosts the Final Four.

What a state-riotic (like patriotic) fest that would be if U-M played MSU in the championship game at Ford Field in Detroit. I think that would single-handedly boost the state of Michigan's economy.

But, like I said, we will get to all that hoopla later. Those games don't begin until Thursday, and it's Monday night.

What else is going on, you ask? Well, there is something more important before that time, and it's the NIT Tournament, the real tournament's ugly little sister. Detroit4lyfe has a strong allegiance to one of the NIT teams and I won't say who, but you might be able to guess it by looking at our picks: (Click to enlarge)

These selections are the product of a very tedious analytical process, also known as the "whoever the hell I want and no one really cares about the NIT anyway" process.

But if you do care, then listen up to my reasoning for selecting Davidson to win it all. For starters, they are forever perfect at the Garden (1-0), and they were a 35-foot shot away from knocking off last year's NCAA tournament champ, Kansas, in the Elite Eight. They lost the guy who took that shot (Jason Richards), are in a much easier tournament, and still have arguably the nation's best player, so why not?

The NIT is obviously a tournament that big programs tend to take cakewalks through, especially if they got snubbed from the real tournament. However, a team like Davidson, with the hot play of superstar All-American Stephen Curry, could be a very dangerous NIT team.

With their blue-collar work ethic and exceptional X's and O's coach Bob McKillop, they are going to come out playing this tournament as if it's the big prom dance and not Sadie Hawkins, especially since they are embarrassed that they choked in their own tournament.

(BTW, Chattanooga was rewarded for winning the SoCon by being given a 16 seed, essentially telling them, "Take your tournament bid reward money and use it to buy enough ice for the butt-whooping you're about to receive").

Even if I am being extremely ol' Biased Bob Biscigliano, as usual, I definitely see Davidson winning some games, and if they get a March from Stephen Curry reminiscent of 2008, I don't see why they can't shock the world—if anyone is actually paying enough attention to the NIT to be shocked.

The Michigan Wolverines Are Back in the Big Dance

Bob Biscigliano — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 19:21:00 -0400

The 65-team 2009 NCAA men's basketball tournament bracket was announced Sunday, and the University of Michigan is in the field once again.

Michigan faithful have been anxiously awaiting their school's return to the Big Dance, as U-M had been left dateless every March since 1998, left to eat Ben and Jerry's by the pint, watch chick flicks, yap mindlessly on the phone, and commiserate with its ugly friend Northwestern.

Sure, Northwestern lets Michigan braid its hair, can keep a secret like nobody's business, and its parents have a really nice house, but frankly, Michigan was getting sick of having to hear Northwestern complain about the jocks and the cheerleaders, and if Northwestern moaned one more time that "Life just isn't fair" in that whiny, woe-is-me voice...Plus, Northwestern has bad breath and is way too gassy.

But Michigan will be at the Dance on Thursday. And I'm talking about the real dance at the high school, not the "dance" at the nursing home down the road (better known as the NIT), which Michigan has been invited to by Grandma a few times, (and they've been a big hit with the diapers and dentures crowd, I might add. They won the NIT in 2004 and lost to South Carolina in the 2006 NIT finals.)

Sure, Michigan won't be the most popular attraction at the Dance, but it will be there. It will be wearing braces and its older sister's dress that is straight out of Molly Ringwald's wardrobe in Sixteen Candles, but it will be there.

And it's about time Michigan was invited to the Big Dance, really. Most people think that the University of Michigan is predominantly a football school, but its men's basketball program has a rich history. The Wolverines have been to six Final Fours, three national championship games, and won a national championship in 1989.

How about this for a stat: In the last 20 years, only five schools have made it to three national championship games in men's basketball: Duke, Florida, Kentucky, Kansas...and the University of Michigan.

Coach John Beilien has had a lot to do with the resurgence of Michigan basketball. Beilien is only in his second season as the U-M coach, yet his influence has already been demonstrated in the stretch run of big games. Unlike teams from the Amaker and Ellerbee eras, Beilien's 2008-'09 Michigan team kept its composure and stuck with its game plan when playing on the road, and when playing top competition.

This allowed them to beat No. 4 Duke and No. 4 UCLA, and to lead tourney No. 1 seed UConn in Storrs for much of the game. Most importantly, when Michigan had to win a game at Minnesota in the last game of the season to earn their bid, a place they have rarely won at in the past, they overcame adversity and a 12-point deficit late in the game to win.

Beilein is the only coach to have won 20 games at four different levels of college basketball, and we are seeing why he has been able to win at every level. Finally, we can thank the state of West Virginia for something other than Don Knotts, George Brett, and some kick-ass whitewater rapids.

The jury's still out on Rich Rod, but as we've seen with Coach Beilien, putting your system into place and getting your type of players takes at least a year.

So, Michigan is the No. 10 seed in the South Region, and faces No. 7 Clemson from the Atlantic Coast Conference in a first-round game on Thursday. Michigan is a young team, led by sophomore Manny Harris and junior Deshawn Sims (below).

The future is bright for Michigan basketball. Their top six players are all underclassmen, and three of them are freshmen: Clutch Zach Novak, sharp-shooting Stu Douglass, and Laval Lucas-Perry, who single-handedly got U-M back into the season finale at Minnesota by knocking down several big shots.

With the football team in Ann Arbor being left out of the bowl season for the first time in 34 years, the rise of the Michigan basketball team couldn't have come at a better time.

May the Schwartz be with Jim Rome

Bob Biscigliano — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 17:13:00 -0400

Thanks to the Pride of Detroit blog, the following video has been brought to my attention. Jim Rome sits down with new Detroit Lions Coach Jim Schwartz to discuss his path to fill the Detroit Lions head coach's vacancy and the prospect of his team rebounding from an 0-16 season.

(You may not know this, nor care, but I'm a big fan of Jim Rome because he's emphatic with his opinions and doesn't stick his nose in any derrieres. He speaks it as he sees it and obviously, that's respectable. No qualms about it.)

Anyway, the interview is pretty good and if you haven't seen Schwartz speak much since he was hired, it'd probably be a good idea to watch this five minute segment.

Personally, I like how Jimbo analogizes the Lions off season plans to a fat person trying to lose weight. It's not going to happen over night, and they need to keep getting on the treadmill everyday. Sounds very similar to the analogy John Mapplethorpe uses in his most recent post.

The Lions are trying to make that transformation from high school, "Can't Buy Me Love" loser, Ronald Miller to the "Grey's Anatomy," everyone wants his babies, Dr. "McDreamy" Shepard.

I think Jim Schwartz already brings in an element of "cool" with that Beckham fauxhawk he's sporting. I assume he'll rock the shit out of a visor with that style. Just as long as he doesn't wear a terrible v-neck, cut-off sweater. That would be a fashion-faux-pas!

Enough mindless chatter; enjoy the video. And remember, may the Schwartz be with you!

Detriot Lions Need A QB: Jay Cutler, Will You Marry Us?

Bob Biscigliano — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 20:47:00 -0400

The Detroit Lions better be out buying an engagement ring for Jay Cutler right now. No, not the 'roided up freak "Jay Cutler" who used to inject at the hot tub in Yankee Stadium with Roger Clemens and his delusional, stalker trainer:

I'm talking about the Vanderbilt product who is in the middle of a very messy break-up right now with his significant other, the Denver Broncos:

The fact that Jay and the Broncos are fighting should not be a complete surprise. The Broncos are high maintenance and demanding. Sure, Jay completed 65 percent of his passes last season, threw for over 4,500 yards, and made the Pro Bowl.

But the Broncos ended up 8-8, which puts Cutler at 17-20 as a starter in his first three seasons in Denver. That may cut the mustard in Arizona, er, I mean Cleveland, but that is unacceptable in the Mile High City.

So I know that some might say that you have to respect a couple and give them time and space when they are having troubles and trying to work things out. And to those people, in this case I say, "Piss off."

The Lions need to shamelessly pursue this guy. Sure, in doing so we may be like the geeky guy with coke bottle glasses, a headgear, and what we like to call "a little weight problem" in science class who creepily oogles the cheerleader who sits two rows in front of him.

And yeah, when he asks her to prom after he finds out that she's fighting with her boyfriend, she'll probably laugh in his fat face and then tell the whole school so that everyone mocks him incessantly, eventually forcing him to transfer to the school across town, where he'll be both teased and completely unrecognized.

But you know what? You never know unless you try. Every once in a while, the loser gets the girl. I saw "Can't Buy Me Love". Maybe, just maybe, for once the Lions can be Ronald Miller. After all, what's the alternative? Look at the quarterbacks the Lions have dated in the past:

Joey

Charlie

Jon

Chuck

Scott

Need I say more? I'm not saying that Cutler is the guy of our dreams. But at least he would call us on the weekends. And he owns a car. Sometimes when you date jerk after jerk, you just gotta' settle for that nice guy.

NHL Trying to End 'Staged' Fights, But You Can Still Make Their Heads Bleed

Bob Biscigliano — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:19:00 -0400

There has been lots of controversy surrounding fights in NHL games. Recently, the NHL has been working on curbing fights altogether, specifically 'staged' fights which the NHL defines as ones that start right after the puck drops (my favorite).

They have been discussing implementing stiffer penalties that will deter these from happening. NHL.com has a pretty good summary of what kind of action the NHL is trying to take.

Here's what I think:

The NHL NEEDS fighting. The NHL has made great strides in terms of increasing their ratings and I have to believe it has a lot to do with the fast paced, tough style of play, and the occasional fights.

Although the NHL still airs most of their important games on VERSUS, formerly known as the Outdoor Live Network, the fighting definitely toughens up this otherwise soft network.

Did I mention that fighting draws an array of interest to the sport? For example, the Detroit Red Wings brawl with the Colorado Avalanche in 1997 receives millions of views on YouTube. (I, for one, watch these clips all the time.

My favorite part is Darren McCarty applauding Igor Larionov when he enters the penalty box for starting the fight, as if Igor is Kenny Wu from "The Mighty Ducks" and McCarty is Dean Portman).

Hockey fans have websites that chronicle all the fights and gush with enthusiasm over the idea of seeing knuckle sandwiches flying into opponents' grills. Fighting is, straight up, a part of the game.

Now I realize that fighting can be a bad example to the youngsters who are supposed to idolize NHL players and aspire to be them. I received a four minute boarding penalty on my first shift ever as a hockey player.

That had more to do with the fact that I didn't know how to stop than by being inspired by malicious hockey players, but certainly, seeing goons like Tie Domi starting fights every other shift, and even with fans in the penalty box, sends the wrong message to our youth.

I'm all for cleaning it up a little bit, but things could actually get uglier if you don't let NHL players fight at all. Frustrations would mount to the boiling point where it would be inevitable for an uncontrollable riot to break loose.

Then, perhaps a guy would see that as the only opportunity to take out all his frustrations and Happy Gilmore someone by taking off his skate and trying to stab someone.

By allowing a fight here and there, players can release their tension without letting it build up to a psycho level where people are swinging sticks at heads or initiating other uncalled-for craziness.

Take the following movie clip as further evidence. Sue and Trent are playing a heated game of NHL '94. They are talking a lot of crap to one another and it's revealed about a minute twenty in that the game doesn't have fighting. This leads Trent to cheat and make something happen that is a lot more horrific than letting two grown men throw down in fisticuffs,
(Disclaimer: earmuff any nearby children).

See what happens when the NHL takes out the fighting?

A Lifetime of Detroit Lions Pain—Care to Exercise the Demons with Me?

Bob Biscigliano — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:05:00 -0400

Let's get one thing clear: I love me some Michigan sports. And I am loyal to these teams to the end.

Now when I die I wouldn't go putting myself in a casket with m y team's logo plastered all ov er it, t hat's just pathetic (and why does it not surprise me at all that it is Red Sox fans who are heading this ridiculous movement? But I guess since they torture us in this life, why not continue to torture us in the afterlife?).

But I AM loyal. And I AM an optimist. But even I have my limits. And you better believe that bumbling to 0-16 in an NFL season goes beyond any reasonable man's limits. So I promise to focus on the positive in the future, but I'm sorry, I have to "e xercise the demons."

So without further ado, here is my list of the 10 members of the Lions organization whom I would most like to step into the ring with so I could drop them like a bad habit:

10. Barry Sanders

This selection probably surprises you. Yes, he's a Hall-of-Famer. Yes, he's the greatest football player to ever don the honolulu blue and silver. Yes, he is the greatest pure runner in the history of the NFL. Yes, he ran for over 15,000 yards and was all-pro in all 10 of his seasons as a Detroit Lion.

For those reasons, he is No. 10 on the list.

However, he is on the list nonetheless because it was his premature retirement that led to the deterioration of the franchise that has lasted almost an entire decade now.

He retired in 1999 at the age of 31 when he was playing as well as he ever had, and was debatably running better than he ever had (as evidenced by the fact that he was no longer being run down from behind).

He retired with four years left on his contract, and he retired by faxing a letter...to a newspaper in Kansas.

And he retired in July just before training camp was set to start. If Barry had played at least through the end of his contract, the Lions would have never had to endure watching a rookie kicker from MSU knock them out of the playoff picture with a 54 yard field goal with two seconds left of the season finale at the Silverdome in 2000.

And you know how the rest of that story plays out.

9. Roy Williams

This guy's act became so tiresome by the end of his stint with the Lions, I couldn't wait for him to "get a one way bus ticket out of town," as ol' Bobby Ross would have said.

Roy was all talk, no walk. The silly preseason and pre-game predictions. The shameless first down signals even when we were down 35 points and 2-10 on the year. The constant talk about how much he loves Texas.

Give it a rest, Roy, no one cares. And who brags about being so embarrassingly cheap when you earn several million dollars a year? All I can say is good riddance to bad rubbish, and at least we got a few draft picks for this cancer. Nice trade, Jerry Jones, have fun with this chump as your go-to receiver.

8. Charles Rogers

This menace to society missed time early in his career at Michigan State because his "boo" stabbed him in the back with a steak knife and collapsed his lung. That alone would keep me from drafting this guy with a No. 2 pick.

But two fractured collarbones, about 2,000 bong tokes, and and an arrest for domestic assault and battery later, and Chuckie was out of the league in no time.

7. Monte Clark and Darryl Rogers

These impotent losers don't deserve their own spot, so I'll lump them together at No. 7.

Which is fitting, because their combined efforts collectively ruined my experience going to Lions games in my formidable years in the 1980s, and caused my Dad to sell his season tickets (right before the Lions drafted the guy at No. 10 on my list...the Lions will always get you, one way or another).

I don't know what was worse at those Clark/Rogers era games, the horrendous product on the field, or having to desperately try to avoid being fondled by the weird guy with the eyepatch who sat next to my Dad and was constantly asking to have me "sit on his lap," right up until when I was, like, in high school.

Which is a nice metaphor, come to think of it, for what the Lions have done to me my entire life. They whisper in my ear and make promises they can't keep, then when I let my guard down and open my arms to them, they jab their finger up my bum as hard as they can.

If you're wondering why I don't have a picture of Rogers up, it's because the very sight of him conjures images of Andre Ware under center in my mind and my gag reflex is triggered violently.

6. Rod Marinelli

This bald asshole was 28 games under .500...in just three seasons as the Detroit Lions coach! His winning percentage was just above the mendoza line at .208. You can count on Bradon Inge for a better success rate than that.

He brought in re-treads from bad Tampa Bay teams to lead his defense. He was a part of draft day blunders. The only good thing he did was get the annoying Rob Parker to resign and pack his bags. Thanks, Rod!

Change of plans. No. 5 to No. 1 will have to follow later...I'm feeling sick to my stomach and need to find a toilet ASAP.

Go Lions!

Tom Brady Doesn't Know Sh-- About Flowers

Bob Biscigliano — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 01:00:00 -0400

The following post is a random post about nothing, really. It's aimless banter.

As you all probably already know, former Michigan and current New England Patriots QB, Tom Brady wedded Gisele Bundchen last Friday. (I can guarantee you she shows up later as part of your weekly Sunday night prescription. I mean look at the "side-boob" she shows off in her wedding dress! For crying out loud.)

Anyway, Tom Brady never struck me as someone who would settle down and get hitched. I just figured he had a reputation to uphold. I guess I was really wrong.

Anyway, Detroit4lyfe, by no means, wants to be known as a gossip website, like a TMZ or National Enquirer. Don't get me wrong, we stalk people (and shamelessly follow every known celebrity on twitter), we usually just don't write posts whenever someone famous gets a parking ticket or forgot to wax their bikini line (ahem, Chip).

But for Tom Brady, I've found an exception.

Tom Brady has always been a fun guy to hear about in the news mainly because I feel like Detroit4lyfe has a special connection with him. We, unlike most people, have followed him since his dorm days in Ann Arbor all the way to his fame and glory in New England.

John Mapplethorpe has an amazing story of Brady while he was at Michigan. Apparently Brady was unabashedly trying to pick up a girl in a parking lot right in front of her boyfriend, who had just returned to the car with a handful of pizza boxes.

When the guy tried to get past Brady, who was hanging through the passenger side window chatting with the girl, Brady calmly brushed the innocent dude aside and told him to "take a hike dweeb."

Brady proceeded to give the girl his number, tell her about a party, and tarnish any chance the so called, "dweeb" had of keeping his girlfriend beyond the weekend. Classy move. (Check in with Mapplethorpe for any other details regarding this story, since I may have overlooked a few.)

I just think it's funny how crazy the paparazzi and ensuing media coverage can be. They take the minute details of someone's life and turn it into a big deal. Omygosh, Brady was seen wearing a Yankees hat. Omygosh, Brad is seen walking the streets of Boston. Omygosh, when did Tom Brady start dating Jack Twist? Or omygosh, Brady's fly is open.

Take the picture above for example. The picture above probably reveals Brady simply disposing of some flower pots from his wedding. Of course, since he looks pretty angry, the media is going to somehow twist it and come up with one of the following assumptions: (a) He and Gisele are fighting, (b) His knee still hurts, (c) 'Get off my lawn you gypsies or I'll throw these pots at you', (d) He really has to poop.

Obviously 'news' sources such as TMZ, GossipGirl.com, and National Enquirer are going to create some elaborate storyline like, "Gisele forces Tommy to throw out old flower pots from the wedding, which interrupts his plans to poop. On the way to throw the plants over the balcony, he re-injures his knee, which all explains the look on his face. They will probably get a divorce."

We're not like that here. We just like to tell it how it really is. And it's very obvious that Tom Brady doesn't know shit about flowers.

Michigan Hoops Looks to Return to Prominence, Plus More College Basketball Talk

Bob Biscigliano — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 01:50:00 -0500

Hi, John Mapplethorpe here. I want to thank Bob for allowing me to join the talented Detroit4lyfe.com team. It is truly an honor to be able to swap thoughts (but not spit—that would be sick and wrong on many levels) with one of the finest sports minds/bloggers in the business.

Detroit4lyfe.com is the preeminent sports blog today, although many of you have not realized that yet. But you will. Mark my sarcastic, twisted words, you will.

I share Bob’s passion for sports, his loyalty to his hometown of Detroit (Business Week can suck on an exhaust pipe for making us No. 4 on their list of “America’s top 10 unhappiest cities”—speaking of which, if Atlanta and Las Vegas are “unhappy,” then pass the Prozac; they can keep their laughing gas), and his admiration for Zac Efron’s musical abilities. So we’ll gab about sports, often with a Motown slant.

But we won’t stop there—oh no. We’ll blather about important current issues, like what Jessica Simpson is tipping the scales at and how many times she apologized for forgetting her own stinkin’ lyrics at her last appearance. (Notice I refuse to call it a “show,” because that would imply that when she goes on stage, she actually provides some kind of worthwhile entertainment).

We’ll jive about politics and the economy, like when I break down Barack’s stimulus spending plan by sector. And we’ll banter about the front-runners in the race for the title of “Most unstable person in America.” Currently, Britney Spears is in a heated battle for supremacy with the wacko who popped out eight kids when she already had 27 rugrats at home that she was dutifully neglecting.

So it is fitting that I hop on board the Detroit4lyfe train this beautiful first week of March, the pinnacle of the sporting year.

We have conference tournaments and March Madness coming up in the next two weeks in college basketball, the NHL and NBA seasons are barreling toward the playoffs, spring training has started in the Grapefruit and Cactus Leagues, the World Baseball Classic is underway, the NFL draft is looming, steroid users are coming out of the closet one by one, and Charles Barkley just got c-blocked by the Scottsdale Police Department.

How can you not be on cloud nine right now if you are a sports fan?

The first thing I would like to discuss is the college basketball season, which is really heating up. The No. 7 Duke Blue Devils fire up the bus and drive eight miles down the famed 15-501 tomorrow to face the No. 2 UNC Tar Heels at the Dean Smith Center with a share of the ACC regular season title up for grabs.

Is it just me or does Kyle Singler look increasingly disheveled by the game? I’m worried about him, frankly.

One thing is for sure—Greg Paulus will pump his fist approximately 27 times throughout the game and cement his place toward the top of the list of most annoying Duke players ever. And yes, I will reveal this list in a future post. (Be careful not to slip off the edge of that seat.)

Meanwhile, after a huge win at the Old Barn today in Minnesota, the Michigan Wolverines men’s basketball team is likely to return to the Big Dance for the first time since 1998, when Tractor Traylor, Louis Bullock, and the boys were a No. 3 seed and lost in the second round to UCLA (after beating Davidson College in the first round).

Hopefully this is the start of something special and marks a return to the glory years when Michigan was an annual fixture in the tournament and once went to the National Championship game three times in five years (1989, 1992, and 1993), winning it once (in 1989 against Seton Hall).

The promising thing is that the Wolverines had a good regular season, beating Duke, UCLA, Purdue, and Illinois, with a team that is still clearly overmatched by the elite teams in regards to athleticism and pure talent. They are winning with discipline and a great system, which is a credit to their coach. They are winning with backdoor cuts reminiscent of the Pete Carril “Princeton offense” and with a masterful zone defense, mostly a 1-3-1.

As the program builds momentum and they once again are able to land blue-chip recruits, they are going to be a force to be reckoned with. In John Beilien we trust.

Detroit4lyfe LiveBlogCast: USA vs. Canada, World Baseball Classic, 2 ET

Bob Biscigliano — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 03:07:46 -0500

As you know, USA will take on Canada tomorrow in the first round of the World Baseball Classic. Since I am an American, and damn proud to be one, Detroit4lyfe.com will be having a Live BlogCast of the game as it airs on ESPN at 2 PM EST.

Please join me and Detroit4lyfe for the fun of following the game with live commentary from about as big of baseball fans as you possibly can get east of the Mississippi.

First pitch is slated for 2 PM EST, therefore we will have the Live BlogCast up and running around 1:45 PM EST with the lineups, pre-game chatter, and sunflower seeds.

We hope you join us because we are in America and if you don't like Spaghetti and Meatball, you can just get the hell out.

AMERICUHHHH

Manny being Manny

Bob Biscigliano — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 02:13:00 -0500

I just watched the Manny interview on ESPN, and I have to reiterate how great he is. He's quirky, has an amazing swing, and is up there as one of the best hitters in baseball history.

No matter what you say, this guy is entertaining. He puts derriere's in seats and always makes for a good story. Tonight's ESPN segment is just another one of those circumstances:

Manny was asked about the prospect of playing for the Yankees and if he was upset that they did not pursue him. Manny appeared unfazed and admitted the Yankees probably made the better move in signing big-stick, Mark Teixeira.

When the reporter asked why, Manny had this to say:

He's young, plays good defense, and is handsome.

Classic episode of Manny being Manny.

Pistons A.I.--"Whatever You Like" ft. T.I.

Bob Biscigliano — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 01:01:00 -0500

As you all know, Allen Iverson has graciously agreed to accept his role on the bench with the Detroit Pistons when he returns from his back injury. Thank goodness. I really could not handle A.I.'s crap at this juncture in the season. I would Flip Saunders a lid.

In all seriousness, I was very (very, very) happy to see Iverson's comments today. To be honest, I did not expect him to be OK with his "demotion." Let's just hope it stays that way when he returns in about two weeks.

I will admit, he's said it from the beginning that he just wants to help the team win. He will do whatever the Pistons would like him to do. He wants to win a championship, and who wouldn't? In fact, he's so serious about accepting a lesser role that he actually came out of rapping retirement and wrote a song on the plane ride to get his back reexamined. You may have heard of it... "Detroit Pistons I Can Be Whatever You Like." A.I. was able to land his younger brother, T.I. to feature in it.

Here are the lyrics:

"Hey Joe D.
You know the old sugga daddy

I said I can do whatever you like (you like)
I said I can do whatever you like (you like)
Yeah

[Chorus:]
Tats on my neck
Antonio McDyess
And I can pop shots all night
Baby I can do whatever you like (you like)
I said I can do whatever you like (you like)
Yeah
Late night talk with Coach Mike you're so right
My ass on the bench for you tonight
Baby I can be where ever you like (you like)
I said I can be where ever you like (you like)
Yeah

[Verse 1:]
Anytime you want to put me in the game
You know it ain't nothin to hog, ya I won't pass to you
Dribblin' through to get to the clear
Five million outside shots, takin' all Hamilton's I swear
Yeah I got no body, I cut my hair
Long as you start me you won't go nowhere
if you want it you got it, so say it I sit on it
Tell 'em other broke rappas be quiet

[Chorus:]
Tats on my neck
Antonio McDyess
And I can pop shots all night
Baby I can do whatever you like (you like)
I said I can do whatever you like (you like)
Yeah
Late night talk with Mike you're so right
My ass is on the bench for you tonight
Baby I can be where ever you like (you like)
I said I can be where ever you like (you like)
Yeah

[Verse 2:]
Starting is da hottest, hate the way I lost it
Brain so good swore I went to college
Diploma never got it, drafted with a top pick
Cause everybody know my jump shot is automatic
and you ain't never ever gotta go try to stop it
Long as I got arm sleeves I can rock it
six seventh, on the bench, a warm up suit that fit
Ya it's a downgrade but I get what you get
My team can have what they want
And go in any city sit on any bench they want
And know they ain't never had a man like that
a superstar sit on the pine and not start
Yeah I forgot bout Rip, I need his heart
Long as you got me I won't need to start
You want it you got it, say it I sit on it
Tell broke Arron Afflalo be quiet

[Chorus:]
Tats on my neck
Antonio McDyess
And I can pop shots all night
Baby I can do whatever you like (you like)
I said I can do whatever you like (you like)
Yeah
Late night talk with Coach Mike you're so right
My ass on the bench for you tonight
Baby I can be where ever you like (you like)
I said I can be where ever you like (you like)
Yeah

[Verse 3:]
I'm talkin' Bad Boys life
And Bad Boys ice
Let me make this Bad Boy make it right
The bench get so wet, water jus' spilled
Bench me and makin' Rip so thrilled
That's right
I don't want'cho minutes, I need yo ring
Long as you want me to, I promise I'm sitting
Cuz after the year, I'm gone good and free
Tell Amir to move, I'm sitting next to Kwame

[Chorus:]
Tats on my neck
Antonio McDyess
And I can pop shots all night
Baby I can do whatever you like (you like)
I said I can do whatever you like (you like)
Yeah
Late night talk with Coach Mike you're so right
My ass on the bench for you tonight
Baby I can be where ever you like (you like)
I said I can be where ever you like (you like)
Yeah"

Dallas Cowboys Cut Terrell Owens, So You Know What That Means, Right?

Bob Biscigliano — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 01:21:00 -0500

via ESPN

The Dallas Cowboys were tired of TO's antics. Personally, anyone who does abdominal workouts on his driveway during an interview, cries while defending his quarterback after a playoff loss, and has an alleged suicide attempt probably has one too many screws loose in the noggin' for my liking.

Nothing personal; I just wouldn't want to have to deal with it, either.

Well, the breaking news that the Cowboys have released TO now means that former Detroit Lions WR, Roy Williams will be the new No. 1 receiver in Dallas. This also means that he will most likely re-emerge as a lethal fantasy WR option.

With Housh and Nate Washington already signed with other teams, Dallas can't exactly go out and sign someone that will fill Owens metaphorical size 19 shoes (obviously, they could still make a trade, but seeing as their trades with Detroit have been absolutely awful, they might want to stay away from trades for a while—sit the next few plays out if you will. I digress).

Roy Williams will have to be the man. Did Jerry Jones know this would happen when he signed Williams to that extension? I'm sure he knew TO would be gone before it was all said and done, but probably didn't know he would be gone this soon as a result of them cutting him.

This also begs the question as to what kind of market there is for a guy like Terrell Owens. Detroit Lions fans I know will not be able to help themselves and ask the question, in that soft voice where you know if you say it you're going to get in trouble but you say it anyway, "...could we sign him...."

Uproar!! Of course we can't sign him, he has the same team cancer disease Matt Millen had and he'd be way too expensive.

But could it be possible? That same soft spoken voice used to ask such a consequential question. Imagine Terrell Owens, somehow well behaved now because he realizes he only has so much time left to win a Super Bowl, lining up alongside Calvin Johnson...(probably the last team he would sign with though if he realized he only had so much time to win a Super Bowl, ha!).

To think that signing Terrell would also make the Lions the single greatest thieves of another team in the history of the NFL. Think about it; we traded Roy Williams to Dallas for their No. 20 pick, got a starting CB Anthony Henry for a very washed up Kitna, and now could sign Terrell Owens (an upgrade from Roy).

Combine that trade and we would get the No. 20, TO, and a starting CB for Roy Williams and Jon Kitna. Hardly fair for the Cowboys.

This isn't an option though, is it? A huge problem, aside from money and attitude, is who would be throwing to him. Personally, with his talent I could be QB-1 with Calvin and a guy of Terrell's talent and throw for over 4,000 yards—and I'm not diabetic either.

However, TO could ruin a rookie QB like Stafford with his general lack of QB charisma. I don't know. Maybe Culpepper could handle him? He did handle Moss for all those years.

Either way, though, do the Lions really want as much controversy at their camp as a New York Yankees camp. That's about how much controversy TO can stir up.

I mean it's a long shot, but the question has to be posed. Calvin Johnson, TO, and Bryant Johnson would most certainly make up the best WR corps in the NFL. For a team that is pretty depleted at QB right now, they could use any talent at WR they can get.

It just doesn't sound feasible in terms of the type of money he would demand and his general attitude towards lyfe. He needs to shut up and play, but he is without question very good. I'd sign him in a heartbeat on Madden '09 where attitude and salary caps are tameable.

What do you think?

Allen Iverson to Miss Two Weeks

Bob Biscigliano — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:18:00 -0500

According to a report on MLIVE , Allen Iverson was told by doctors at Georgetown University that he must "suspend all basketball related activities for two weeks" due to his back injury.

Iverson, who has missed the last three games, will miss up to eight more games over the course of the next two weeks—so get used to seeing him wear that Justin Timberlake snowboarding hat more often. If he is out for only the two weeks, he would return for the Mar. 20 game against the LA Clippers at the Palace.

A lot of controversy has been centered around Iverson, because he hasn't been fitting in with the Pistons' system.

The Stones are 7-1 without him this season and on a three-game winning streak against some pretty reputable teams (although all three were missing big parts of their team). Either way, it is pretty clear that the Stones move the ball better and play tougher defense without AI.

Although you should never wish injury on anyone, AI's back problem couldn't have come at a better time for the Pistons.

They were struggling mightily and falling fast out of the playoff contention. Once Iverson went down with his back injury, the team was able to revert back to the way that they had played for six years—successful basketball. So far, it looks as if it's like riding a bike for them.

It will be interesting to see what kind of minutes AI will get when he does return—if he does. I would not be surprised if this back injury turns out to be more "serious." I guess we'll know more as the two weeks wear on.

The Stones are off for the next two nights and hit the floor again on Friday against Golden State in Detroit. The Warriors are just 2-5 in their last seven games and play Chicago tonight.

Chauncey Billups Returns To Detroit, Pistons Win In Emotional Night

Bob Biscigliano — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:10:00 -0500

I don't have much to say about Tuesday night's Pistons win over the Denver Nuggets, 100-95. What can I say?

The Pistons are playing good basketball right now, despite the absence of All-Star guard Allen Iverson. They battled back from a 10-point halftime deficit to pull off a five-point victory in the end. That runs the Pistons' record to 7-1 without "The Answer" and 30-29 overall. I could go on about this correlation, but it's a broken record.

It should also be noted that Denver was without Carmelo Anthony.

But the real story from this game, to me and many, was the return of Chauncey Billups to Detroit. Chauncey spent six amazing years with the Pistons, including the championship season in 2004 when he won a Finals MVP. Chauncey was the real deal and everyone, for the most part, loved him and wished they didn't have those pesky restraining orders so they could hug him.

Anyway, he was welcomed back to the Palace with wide-open arms despite the fact he came in playing for the other team. After hearing boo birds for the other four Nugget players, the mood suddenly shifted as Chauncey was about to be introduced. Everyone stood and began to cheer.

Pistons PA guy John Mason yelped out his touching introduction, which rhymed beautifully, as the packed house screamed and applauded their little hearts out for Chauncey.

Watching the introduction online gave me goosebumps every single time I watched it (about five times). It simply amazes me how awesome Detroit fans are. FYI, these fans knew exactly what tonight was going to be about.

Fans showed up to the Palace earlier than usual, all so they could thank Chauncey for everything he did for the franchise. Everyone knew they were going to be giving him a standing ovation as soon as it was his turn to be introduced, and everyone knew they were going to show their continuous love for the PG throughout his introduction, whether that was through excessive shrieking, clapping, or holding up creative signs.

The standing ovation and cheering lasted nearly two full minutes. This type of reaction toward its players has almost come to be expected from Detroit fans, but seeing it actually happen makes your hair raise. This was an all-around truly classy display by fans, with props to Chauncey for embracing it and Mason for his fantastic introduction. Billups even blew kisses to the crowd after the introduction.

Although I could not be at the game, I definitely appreciate the Billups that helped guide the Pistons to six consecutive Eastern Conference Finals and a NBA Finals victory. Thank you, Chauncey.

Oh, as for the game, Tayshaun Prince scored 23 for the Pistons and four of his teammates added at least 16. Anthony was suspended for the Nuggets because of a refusal to sit on the bench at the Pacers game on Sunday. Rasheed Wallace and Rip Hamilton were out as well, the former with a sore foot, the latter with a groin injury.

Thanks to our friends over at Need4Sheed, we have the Chauncey introduction in its entirety. Check it out and cry a little bit: http://need4sheed.com/2009/03/chauncey-billups-introduction-at-the-palace.html.