Bleacher Report - Articles by Mark Kane

Why Dave Nonis Needed to Lose His Job

Mark Kane — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 16:11:23 -0400

To many, the Vancouver Canucks' dismissal of GM Dave Nonis came as an unwarranted surprise, and was a disconcerting suggestion of a shambolic management style of recently affirmed owners, the Aquilini Family. To others, including this author, it was an inevitable and necessary end to what had become a hackneyed lineage of management style. Yes, to date, new GM Mike Gillis has not set Canuck Land aflame with bold moves. Nor is it clear he has undertaken any moves or initiatives that Nonis could or would not have himself undertaken. But that begs the question. Mike Gillis inherited this larder—Dave Nonis was instrumental in its construction.

Save for Keenan’s brief reign of terror, Nonis represented an unbroken lineage of GMs that began way back in 1987, when Jack Milford slipped Pat Quinn an envelope with a cool $100,000 to begin the colossal task of turning around a franchise buried in losing and ignominy. Pat Quinn hired Brian Burke, Brian Burke hired Dave Nonis.

Now a foundation franchise of the NHL, the accomplishments of this lineage are not to be diminished. Inherent in their greatest strength, however, is their greatest conciet —an unblemished loyalty to those they favour. This began with with Pat Quinn's well-earned moniker as a player's coach, but this same conceit masked an inability to consistently undertake frank assessments of the talent within, be it scouts or players. Machiavelli was wrong—individuals, particularly modern fickle professional athletes, will play better, often much better, for those they love rather than those they fear. This unblemished loyalty has produced considerable dividends—but too often critiques were clouded by admonishments of potential or that, "Hey, he’s a real nice guy." With Burke in particular, any such questions raised by fans or the press were met with medieval tirades and campaigns of loathing that became familiar landmarks of an incontinent ego.

Quinn did not see the precipitous slide in McLean’s game, and his delay in moving a clearly unhappy Bure limited the assets that were received in return. Similarly, Burke refused to acknowledge the clearly evident limitations with Cloutier’s ability, despite clamours from fans and the press alike. The results kneecapped the team’s opportunities and psyche.

The jury remains sequestered with regard to Nonis' draft record, but professional scouting under his purview, to put in kindly, was abysmal. See Jan Bullis, Marc Chouinard and Jeff Cowan, amongst others. But it was Nonis’ initial decision to continue with the crew he inherited, more of the same, that doomed his regime. To any but passing fans, that vintage ended with Bertuzzi’s well-documented moment of discombobulated rage. And what more needed to be learned about Cloutier’s game?

Nonis’ decision not to not move heaven and earth to get Neidermayer signed was yet more evidence of his inability to move forward. This is a player who is a champion like few others. He wanted to play here. Instead, Canuck Land was fed the fodder that it was Naslund or Neidermayer. Huh? Again, it was clear that this was almost certainly going to be Jovo’s last year in Orca Bay colours. Moving him would have prudent, beyond the obvious cap space it would have created to sign Niedermayer. Assets, potentially considerable assets, would be received in return and the team would receive an upgrade of historic proportions. Yes, Jovo's happy feet and Macedonian pluck enamoured him to fans and turned many a game, but he was not and is not in Niedermayer's class. He was just as famous for coughing up the puck for breakfast. Instead of cool-headed assessment, Jovo Love reigned. He walked at the end of his contract, and the Canucks received an all too familiar nil.

In Mike Gillis, the Canucks now have a GM unburdened by past history and relationships. Assessments are objective, and decisions and understandings are devoid of misty "once upon a time" reasoning. Now, if he can only do something about that whale.

Gary Bettman Has Confabulation Disorder ( yes Humour)

Mark Kane — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:35:17 -0400

Undisclosed sources within the catacombs of the NHL Head Office have revealed that commissioner Gary Bettman has been diagnosed with Confabulation Disorder. A controversial, some call vogue, diagnosis that is without positive test results, but is understood as a symptom complex of generalized aches and pains, perceptions of ennui, pressured nasal speech along with a myriad of subjective complaints.

Bettman’s well known smarmy mannerisms and mandarin contempt for all, while atypical, are also understood to be a feature of his condition. Sources closer to the commissioner simply report he hasn’t been laid in years despite buckets of cash and pleadings from an army of lawyers.

Scampering boffins within the League Office vociferously deny that two work stoppages, the loss of Canadian markets in lieu of problematic Sun Belt franchises where a mustard seed would struggle, and obsessive tinkering with the game have anything to do with Bettman’s state of mind or lack thereof. Those “remain incredibly excellent initiatives,” said the same anonymous source within the League Office.

Indeed, other sources within the League office loudly whispered that a deal with Mongolian TV is imminent that will bring untold prosperity to the league. It was later acknowledged that compensation will be in Canadian Tire money or horse dollars, both apparently replete in the Mongolian Kingdom. Go figure.

Recent musings about expansion to Europe are now said to be feasible because “Gary has developed a matter transport system” that will limit road trips to mere seconds. All this after Senator McCain admitted that his invention of the Blackberry was based on “Gary Bettman’s pioneering work.”

Bettman’s endorsement of a series of criminals as NHL owners drew nonplussed reactions and was described as minor hic cups on an otherwise smooth sail.

Bettman will not be undertaking any specific treatment for Confabulation Disorder as none exists except receipt of disability benefits and copious amounts of self absorption. Bettman, however, will continue working and quoted Alfred E Newman stating, “What me worry?”

That apparently is being left to fans of the NHL.

Vancouver Canuck Fans Should Expect Stinky Hockey

Mark Kane — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 13:45:09 -0400

If you have ever faced the exasperating prospect of assembling anything IKEA, you can understand the woe begotten feelings of all Canuck fans. Yes, Mats Sundin remains the best player in the World not yet signed to an NHL contract, just as those shelves look very good indeed in a glossy IKEA catalogue. Understanding the how and wherefore of assembly, however, remains a gift bestowed to the few and far between. In Sundin’s case, it’s a universe of one. Truth be told, Canuck Land understands Sundin is not coming here unless it’s a visit along the Poker Stars Tour, but we would all appreciate this supposed gentleman’s confirmation of the obvious. Like any jilted lover, we need to move on—desperately.

Save for episodic renaissances otherwise, this has been and remains a franchise mired in mediocrity. Despite, arguably, the best goalie in the known Universe, expect more of the same this season. Expect stinky hockey. It’s difficult to see how it could be otherwise. With health, the starting six D will be closer to their much ballyhooed potential, but even healthy, this set had an amazing proclivity at surrendering quality chances. Bonaparte’s retreat from Moscow was more effective. Fire alarms have more cohesion. In this context, some local talking heads have suggested all that is needed is for the coach to loosen the defence first mantra and let Luongo do what Luongo does.

Somewhere over the rainbow this may work, but let’s review the reality of last year.

What Luongo did last year was face tsunamis of rubber and quality chances in 70 plus hockey games. This, in a defence first system. His well-documented late season fade speaks volume to this Jughead strategy.

The addition of more committed players like Johnson and Hordichuk will help, but goals remain the overwhelming question mark. Gillis’ trumpeting of their young talent flies in the face of the team’s sad sack drafting history and his own remarks at an initial press conference. Despite, in addition, acres of cap space, Gillis has found it near impossible to attract quality scoring free agents to this team. Blame the rain, blame the travel, blame the team’s paucity of success, blame the poor quality of escort services—the conclusion remains the same. To his credit Gillis has avoided imbedding this team with concrete contracts for older diminishing players, but that doesn’t help this coming season. More goals would appear to be a fading prospect which, if winning counts, means a continuation of stinky boring hockey. De ja vu all over again. A particularly salient and apoplectic conclusion for Canuck Fans since several non-playoff teams have decidedly improved, and will mount new and improved challenges for coveted playoff invitations. The Canucks, well, the ship may be pointed in the right direction, but that happy port, Lord Stanley’s Cup, remains as far away as ever.