Bleacher Report - Articles by Zachary Wishnov

No Football: Black Six Weeks of Sports Are Near

Zachary Wishnov — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:21:53 -0400

In the post-draft mini camp, newly acquired draft pick Jeremy Maclin, made a splash today, catching almost every ball thrown to him. He was also as quick as the brown fox that jumped over the lazy dog. Shame I won't read or hear anything about football for the next couple of months.

The NBA playoffs are the last stretch. After the Cleveland Cavalier's errr...a team wins the NBA championship, there are approximately six weeks of pure nothingness.

This nothingness consists of boring baseball with no hitters and scores of 1-0. This nothingness consists of hearing about more players on steroids, thus making the sport utterly useless and dreadful to love.

This nothingness is because of the lack of no fun sports on TV and the lack of football news.

Until training camp, I hear silence. The Vikings will still try and get Brett Favre to come out of retirement for the sixth time, Terrell Owens will be doing crunches in his driveway, and people will begin asking questions about how good their team truly is.

The problem is...this is old news.

Football players are off until the start of training camp. They lift weights and get in shape for the season, but never touch a football. This lack of news shuts down football season once again and leaves the avid football fan with a boring taste in their mouths.

The Black Six Weeks of Sports is a common phrase in my household and my friends. My father coined it during the time when baseball ruled (a sport my family grew accustomed to never watching).

Football is what makes me happy and depressed. It drives my emotions and keeps me from being bored.

For at least 17 weeks, I am glued to the TV on Sundays, and am always logged into my fantasy page for updates and point totals.

I am watching every NBA playoff game because I know when it's over, there is no sports for me for six weeks until football training camp begins.

The black six weeks are coming, and you must prepare with plenty of old football footage, NFL preview magazines, and a lot of alcohol to make you forget the sports blackout.

Until the black six weeks of sports are done, Jeremy Maclin, Donovan McNabb, LeSean McCoy, Brian Westbrook, and DeSean Jackson news will not exist.

There is one good thing about the black six weeks of sports though...It is a countdown...the final countdown to when football begins again.

May God have mercy on your souls until that time comes. Good luck.

John Madden Retires, And Football Will Never Be The Same

Zachary Wishnov — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:31:19 -0400

I thought it could never happen. My friends and I all laughed at John Madden every game, calling him senile and crazy and nuts and yet we loved the ever-loving s*** out of him. We would listen intently whenever he spoke just to maybe catch him saying something about Brett Favre or a Turducken, and he never failed to light up my face like a Christmas tree.

All of that is over, though. Never again will I hear John Madden's voice during an NFL game.

I haven't written an article for Bleacher Report since the Philadelphia Eagles lost in the NFC Championship, not because of being upset, but because I felt like there wasn't enough news to write an article everyone could relate to.

If I wrote an article on how the Eagles traded Greg Lewis for a fifth-round pick, would anyone care to read it besides my fellow diehard Eagles fans? Now, if I wrote an article about the most beloved sports broadcaster in the history of the world? It's a topic that everyone can relate to.

John Madden, to me, made football. His sayings, phrases, and belligerent outbursts are what makes football fun. Besides Al Michaels, every football broadcaster is too afraid to put their personality on their sleeve. If they do, they may lose their job. John Madden did whatever he wanted and no one cared. He ruled the TV.

I will never forget on a Thanksgiving day game, John Madden talked about eating a Turducken every year. He described it as a combination of a turkey, duck, and a chicken. What followed next was the most memorable moment in Madden history. He literally put a real Turducken on screen and started pulling it apart with his bare hands. John Madden, during a live nationally-televised game, actually ravaged a Turducken.

Name someone else who can and would do that, and I will erase this article immediately.

The most successful sports video game of all time, the Madden football games are by far my most played games. No other NFL game even comes close to competing with it, and the versions have been around for at least 15 years. Players know about all those stupid Madden phrases that get repeated every single play; "He can't catch it if you knock it down" is my favorite.

No kidding! Despite all of the technology in the Madden games, he only has about 10 phrases!

I feel like a friend has left me. I feel like football will never be the same and I feel bad for all football fans around the globe. There is one person I also feel awful for: Frank Caliendo. This comedian's reputation is his John Madden impression, and without Madden to relate to, he will soon fail.

His MadTV sketch starting with "Hey folks, John Madden here with the quick pop popcorn popper" will soon be forgotten. His stupid love affair with Brett Favre is gone as well, since Favre retired (allegedly) earlier this year too.

Young children will grow up hearing who he was and playing his video game, but will never know what Madden brought to the game of football, both as a coach and an announcer. He changed the game forever and made it complete.

I am not writing this to tell you what he has accomplished or his statistics as a head coach or how many games he has sat through, but am simply stating what he has meant to me and probably millions of other people.

From his love for Brett Favre to his idiotic sayings on his own game, John Madden is my favorite sports broadcaster in any sport and anytime. I also hope to God, Allah, and every other god that Madden retains the voice in all future versions of his video game from now until he passes away.

Beware Sports Fans: "The Black Six Weeks Of Sports" Are Coming.

Zachary Wishnov — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 02:50:42 -0500

It is coming, and in due time, life will be miserable. You will go into a state of depression. You will mope around. Your family, friends, and loved ones will become worried. You will consider suicide.

Nothing terrible happened to you, but it happens every year. No, it isn't a crappy tax return, a pay cut, or your football team losing. It is much worse. What is worse than losing? How about nothing happening at all?

My family has coined a term which I want to be spread around like wild fire in the sporting community which is entitled—the Black Six Weeks of Sports.

I was raised on watching football and basketball and despising baseball, hockey and golf. I love playing golf but cannot stand watching those sports because of how slow, low-scoring and potentially boring they always are.

Don't get me wrong, baseball is America's past time, but at the same time, all the cheating and steroids and no salary cap and no definitive ending play to a game is pathetic to me.

Or maybe it's the fact that a pitcher makes $20K a pitch.

Anyway, football is my life. I live and breathe the Philadelphia Eagles. When training camp starts, it is like a whole new world opens up.

I read up on every player and coach, I memorize the schedule and I start planning for Sundays off from work.

Football season comes full-swing and halfway through the season, my other sport, basketball begins.

The 76ers have been mediocre since 2001, but I still enjoy watching sick dunks, a possible playoff berth, and Superman bouncing the ball of the side of the backboard and slamming it down while losing to a midget who has done the same dunks other people can do in their sleep.

When football season ends, I feel like I need a new hobby to take its place because of a lack of fantasy football, and I have Sundays free since I spend less time reading about my team.

But at least I have football, for now. As soon as the basketball season ends, the black six weeks begins.

"The Black Six Weeks" consist of the time between the end of the basketball season and the beginning of football training camp. The only things on SportsCenter are highlights of someone hitting a home run (seen it), someone catching a ball in an unusual way (seen it), a hockey fight (seen it) or a good putt from Tiger (seen it over and over).

Sports is over during that time period and ESPN is considered to be a blackout in my household. It is the time to pull out the recordings from seasons past and hope you don't remember the outcome so you can still root for your team. It is a time to start sewing, or joining a club, or maybe checkin out some new X-rated sites (for all you guys out there who are single or married).

In only a few short months, "The Black Six Weeks" are upon us. Mark it on your calendar. Warn people in your neighborhoods. Be prepared because whether you are ready for it or not...it is coming.

Proud to Be an Eagles Fan Again—Thanks Kevin Kolb!

Zachary Wishnov — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:45:44 -0500

Three weeks ago, it was over.

The Philadelphia Eagles were destroyed by the Baltimore Ravens, putting them at an abysmal 5-5-1. Donovan McNabb—the franchise player and face of the Eagles—was benched in favor of the second string quarterback, Kevin Kolb. Brian Westbrook, the Eagles most versatile player was injured. The wide receivers dropped everything thrown their way.

The Philadelphia Eagles were going to miss the playoffs for the second straight season and were saying goodbye to head coach Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb, forever.

Something happened though. Something happened to change the outcome of the Eagles season. No. Not something.

Someone.

When McNabb was benched, Kevin Kolb came in and saved the Eagles season.

No, he didn't lead them to win that game or even came close. He played awful. Terrible. He played miserably, but in fact, he saved the season for the Eagles.

By playing the way he did, Andy Reid decided he was not a good player. He decided no matter how badly McNabb was playing, his star QB could not play as badly as Kolb did. Andy decided to start McNabb against the Arizona Cardinals less than a week later on thanksgiving.

From thanksgiving on, the Philadelphia Eagles have been one of the hottest teams in the NFL. The destroyed the Cardinals (a playoff team with the number one passing offense in the NFL), told the Giants—the defending Super Bowl champions who had an 11-1 record—to eat dirt, and just beat the life out of the Cleveland Browns.

Going from left for dead to being in the wild card hunt leaves me stunned. I was about to call it quits for this team. About to admit to start a new era. A McNabb-less era. A Reid-less era.

Now, I want the Eagles to keep them both!

Donovan McNabb has been having fun on the field. He has been throwing touchdowns (7) and rarely any interceptions (1) in the past 3 games. Andy Reid has finally admitted to passing too much and has put the ball in Westbrook's hands. This alone, takes pressure off of McNabb and challenges the defense.

To make the playoffs, it is simple. The Eagles must win out and defeat the Washington Redskins in Washington and than the Dallas Cowboys in Philly. The Eagles still need some help, though.

The Eagles will secure a playoff spot if they win out and either the Tampa Bay Bucs or the Atlanta Falcons lose just 1 game between them.

Can you imagine the atmosphere of the final game of the season between the Dallas Cowboys and the Eagles for the final wild card spot? Talk about the most watched game during the regular season this year.

Earlier this year on Monday Night Football, the Eagles went to Dallas and it was the most watched Monday Night Football regular season game in the history of the NFL. Think about how many people will watch the game if it meant one of those teams were going on and the other would be done for the year?

It's adding another playoff game to the season!

Now...what does all of this have to do with Kevin Kolb playing like total crap? Let's pretend Kolb played well against the Ravens. Let's say he threw 2 touchdowns and led the Eagles to a victory. What would that mean?

It would mean Kolb can play well in the NFL. It would mean he performed better than Donovan McNabb. It would mean Andy Reid would have started Kevin Kolb against the Cardinals instead of McNabb.

To think that Kolb could play as well as McNabb has been playing is absolutely preposterous. No quarterback has played as well as McNabb has played. Kolb possibly could have beaten the Cardinals, but would have had no chance to beat the Giants. They would have lost one of those games and the season would have truly been over.

McNabb is hot. Reid is confident. The Eagles are playing great football and are scaring teams. If they make the playoffs, they have momentum and could make some noise like the Giants did last year and pull some upsets.

All of this all happened because of Kevin Kolb playing like crap and giving McNabb another chance to shine. Hopefully, it leads to a playoff game.

Hopefully, it leads to McNabb and Reid staying in Philadelphia a little bit longer.

Eagles-Ravens: Donovan McNabb Sacked, Philadelphia's Season Ends Early

Zachary Wishnov — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 08:21:12 -0500

The game clock has not gotten down to 0:00, and I am writing this article. The picture above shows a Bengal butt-f***ing an Eagle. Well, the Baltimore Ravens did that and more today. They took apart not only the team but the future of the Philadelphia Eagles franchise.

Donovan McNabb had two interceptions and one fumble, all in the first half leading to his removal for the start of the third quarter. Kevin Kolb came in and did nothing all half.

In the middle of the fourth quarter, he came on strong. He was 5-5 and led the Eagles to the one-yard line. They ran it once...didn't get it.

At this point, a normal team would run the ball again. Nope. No, no, no. The Eagles throw the ball into the end zone, leading to an interception to be returned for a 108-yard touchdown. The game ended right there. With this game, the season ended. With the season ending, it looks like the end to Donovan McNabb and possibly Andy Reid.

In 60 minutes of game time, the Eagles put up no points (assuming they don't score for the remaining three minutes).

Ohh...wait! The Ravens just had a 28-yard run to get to the one-yard line. They are going to score again. HAHA! It's like I'm watching the Lions here. Oh wait, they scored 20 points. The only reason the Eagles scored was because of a rare kickoff return for a touchdown before halftime.

Donovan McNabb is done. He is done as the leader in Philadelphia. Andy Reid's playcalling is done. The fans cannot take it anymore. They have to rebuild. They must take a few years off and try again. Kevin Kolb is the future. Kevin Kolb is the present...Ravens just scored.

The score is 35-7. As of right now, the Eagles have a total of 188 yards of offense, thrown four interceptions, have one fumble, have given up two sacks, given up a safety, and only have seven total points in an NFL football game. The winning era for the Eagles is over.

I`m sorry Eagles fans. I truly am as a fellow Eagles fan. I don't know what happened. I don't know how the Eagles got so bad! They can't run the ball, they can't pass the ball. That is the definition of an offense.

They are in the bottom tier of the NFL, and the only way to get out of it is to fire Andy Reid and try to trade McNabb for a third-round pick for him. May God have mercy on our souls and hope that next year the Eagles won't be butt-f***ed as many times as they were this year.

Eagles Fan Turned Bad...Philly Needs A Change

Zachary Wishnov — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 08:46:27 -0500

Look at the picture of Andy Reid, coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, above. Who do you see? Do you see someone who is confident? Someone who has a great team? Someone who knows his team will be there in the playoff race? All I see is an overweight man who is constipated and has lost passion for his team.

I have been an Eagles fan all my life and have never doubted Andy Reid or the rest of his coaching staff for that matter. Brad Childress, now head coach of the Minnesota Vikings, was a masterful offensive coordinator in his time with the Eagles. Andy Reid's crew have drafted amazingly, which has kept the Eagles from plummeting into the very bowels of the NFL power rankings.

This past Sunday was it for me. People have been saying Andy Reid needs to be fired. People have been saying to sit Donovan McNabb on the bench and see what we have in Kevin Kolb, the second string quarterback. I have argued with those people right up until the Philadelphia Eagles tied the 1-8 Cincinnati Bengals in a 13-13 game.

I do not say to sit McNabb, who had four turnovers on his own and who threw 28 completions out of 58 attempts. I do not say fire Andy Reid, who has been the cornerstone of this consistently winning franchise for the past nine years. What i do say, though, is for something to happen.

Andy Reid has never been good at calling offensive plays. He has been known to manage games and get the right players out onto the field. He is good to calm the Philadelphia media, keep his players from doing stupid things in and outside of football, and to help his other staff members do their jobs.

The Eagles have lost four games this season all by seven points or less. What does this mean? It means that if a few more plays were made, the game could have turned out differently. Outcomes could have been changed. The Eagles could be sitting pretty with a record of 8-2 instead of 5-4-1.

With two minutes left in overtime, there was a 4th and 1 in the Bengals territory. If they went for it, they risked turning it over and giving the Bengals the win. By punting, which they did, the Eagles were playing for the tie. They were playing not to lose. They were afraid and had no confidence in getting one yard. If the coach has no confidence in his players, how will his players have confidence in themselves?

The statistics say it all. McNabb threw 58 passes, setting his career record in pass attempts, while Brian Westbrook, the Eagles most versatile and most dynamic player ran the ball just 14 times. The Bengals were fifth in pass defense coming into this game. Normally, teams would run more against this team. Nope, not Andy Reid.

The most incredible statistic in this game were third down conversions for the Eagles. There were 18 3rd down plays during the game. Three were converted. Three out of 18!!! That's 17 percent completion on third down plays! Why didn't they complete more?

Maybe because on every 3rd down, they threw the ball. There were a total of three third and one plays. They threw the ball on all occasions not getting any of them.

The play calling has been absolutely atrocious. My little sister, who knows nothing about football would know to run the ball if all you need is one yard. It isn't tough for a defense to stop an offense if they know they are going to throw the ball every time.

Look at the picture tagged with this article. He looks nervous, afraid, not passionate about winning. That man is the worst play caller in the NFL and should be replaced not as head coach, but as the primary play caller. We need to take risks. We need to shake things up. We need to win games starting right now and Andy Reid is not helping at all.

Pregame With Al and John: Eagles-Giants!

Zachary Wishnov — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 19:38:48 -0500

John Madden: "BOOM! WHACK! I LOVE BRETT FAVRE! IF FAVRE LOST BOTH ARMS AND LEGS, HE WOULD BE THE BEST TORSO IN ALL OF FOOTBALL!"

Al Michaels: "John, once again you are being senile and forgot to take your medication so I'll talk from here until the game starts..."

AM: "Hi everyone, this is Al Michaels coming to you from the City of Brotherly Love, where the New York football Giants will take on the Philadelphia Eagles! This game will be one of the toughest matchups we've seen all season, right John? HUH! No John! Don't eat the mic!

"Sorry about that folks. We're having some technical difficulties with the microphones. Anyway, the Philadelphia Eagles are 5-3 and have won three straight games, stealing third place in the NFC East from the Dallas Cowboys, who have recently imploded. The NFC East leading New York Giants are 7-1, destroying any team that crosses their path. They both play each other tonight on Sunday Night Football."

(Sunday Night Football Opening Plays)

JM: "THANKS AL, FOR PERFORMING CPR ON ME DURING THE BREAK. ANYWAYS, THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME THESE TWO TEAMS PLAY EACH OTHER THIS YEAR AND COULD POTENTIALLY MAKE OR BREAK ONE OF THESE TEAM'S SEASONS. THIS GAME IS, OF COURSE, MORE IMPORTANT TO THE PHILADELPHIA FAITHFUL AS THEY ARE SITTING IN LOWER HALF OF THEIR RESPECTED DIVISION WHILE THE GIANTS EAT CAVIAR AND DRINK WINE ATOP THE TOUGHEST DIVISION IN FOOTBALL."

AM: "Haha, if only you folks knew how much fun John and myself have broadcasting these heated games. Looking into the future for both of these teams, if the New York Giants beat the Eagles, it will mean 8-1 and a perfect record against their division almost securing a playoff spot. They would have proven themselves to truly be the best in their division and show no signs of slowing down on their way to a possible second consecutive Super Bowl run."

JM: "YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT FOOTBALL AL? THE AIR! THERE IS A CERTAIN SMELL IN THE AIR THAT MAKES YOU THINK TO YOURSELF...HMMM I SMELL FOOTBALL! KINDA MAKES YOU TASTE THE SPORT...ITS KINDA...MAKING ME...."

AM: "Thanks John for that funny anecdote. Let me talk for a little bit and discuss the upcoming game. The Eagles, unlike the opposing team, have everything to lose. If they don't come out of tonight with a win, they will be 5-4 and will probably be out of reach of the Giants and Washington Redskins, who are red hot at the moment.

"By succumbing to this record in this division, the Eagles may have to start digging their own graves. The chances of them coming back and making the playoffs in that position would be rare and doubtful considering they have to play their divisional opponents three more times this year.

"Looking back to last Sunday afternoon, the Giants ran over the Dallas Cowboys, while the Eagles attacked a depleted Seahawks team, giving up only one touchdown, which consisted on the 'Hawks first play of the game. After the lone touchdown to Koren Robinson, the Eagles' defense shut down the Seahawks offense for the remainder of the game...without any turnovers! That's right, they did not force one turnover and still held the Seahawks to seven points! Now, let's head down to Rachel Nichols for the keys of the game..."

Rachael Nichols: "Thanks Al. I just spoke to Tom Coughlin of the Giants and he said there were three simple keys to winning this ballgame: contain Pro Bowl running back Brian Westbrook, put pressure on Donovan McNabb, and do not give up scoring opportunities. He said if they are in the red zone tonight, they must not leave with field goals. The Eagles take pride in their "bend but not break" stance and won't cave in like the Cowboys did last week against this team. Back to you Al"

AM: "Thanks Rachel. I took it upon myself to speak to Andy Reid of the Eagles for his keys of the game earlier today and this is what he said..."

Andy Reid: "Hey, Andy Reid here letting you know the keys to the game. The keys are to cause turnovers, give the ball to Brian [Westbrook] early, and to protect Donovan [McNabb]."

AM: "You know John, Andy Reid has been with this team for 10 years now. How much longer do you think he'll be around for?"

JM: "WELL, I THINK HE'LL BE AROUND FOR AS LONG AS THIS TEAM IS WINNING. THROUGHOUT HIS TENURE HERE, THE EAGLES HAVE, FOR THE MOST PART, BEEN WINNING. THIS ORGANIZATION LOVES WHAT HE DOES FOR THIS TEAM AND LOVES THE STABILITY HE BRINGS YEAR IN AND YEAR OUT. HE'S A CLASS ACT GUY WITH A CLASS ACT TEAM"

AM: "Here we go. The opening kickoff is happening minutes away. We're gonna take a short break and we'll be back with the New York Giants against the Philadelphia Eagles on NBC!"

Cowboys Acquire Roy Williams Making Them Officially Ridiculous

Zachary Wishnov — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:04:45 -0400

Just when people thought the Cowboys couldn't get any more talent, they prove everyone wrong. Earlier today, before the NFL trade deadline passed, the Dallas Cowboys acquired Pro-Bowl wide receiver Roy Williams from the Detroit Lions.

The price for this underrated wideout? A first-round pick in the 2009 draft, as well as a third, sixth, and seventh selection.

This not only gives the Cowboys a second pro-bowl receiver, but assures stability in the position for the Cowboys for years to come should they sign him to long-term contract.

As an avid Eagles fan, all I can say is this is absolutely ridiculous. Has anyone noticed that Dallas has gotten whoever they want, whenever they want? I don't know how they do it. Who knows what will happen when the NFL salary cap gets thrown in the trash and the Cowboys (the richest NFL franchise) can buy any player they want at any price they want.

Some notable names the Cowboys have acquired via trade or other means over the past few years have been Terrell Owens, Adam "Pacman" Jones, who is now on suspension for alcohol violations, and now Roy Williams.

If the Dallas Cowboys secure a Super Bowl this year or the next, it will prove one thing: Money, and not players, win championships.

At an NFL Game, Where Do You Sit? Anywhere!

Zachary Wishnov — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:46:25 -0400

You plan a trip to Philadelphia (assuming you were an Eagles fan) and book your flight. You book a hotel and the most important thing comes next. You buy your tickets to the Eagles game. One problem: Where do you sit?

You could get the first row at the 50-yard line or an upper-level seat in the end zone. Some cost more than others and some are harder to achieve than others. There are advantages and disadvantages to every vantage point in a stadium, which I will discuss in detail.

1. End zone upper level

These seats are the worst in the house. They are labeled as the "nosebleeds" simply because you are up so high, your nose literally starts to bleed. Not only are you the furthest away from the field vertically, you are also nowhere close to the field horizontally.

Yes, you are able to see the field as the offense sees it or defense sees it, depending on where the ball is going, but at the same time, you are way too far to comparing it to their view.

You can see if the kick is good or not and can be envious of everybody else because they have better seats than you do.

2. 50-yard line upper level

These seats are also labeled as nosebleeds. The seats are not too good, on account that what you're seeing aren't people, but ants who resemble people. The only good thing I can say about these seats are that when you view the field, it's as if you are watching the game on TV. A high-side view of the game isn't so bad but besides that, I'm not sitting up there.

3. End zone lower level

These seats are mediocre. If both teams are in your end zone, you're golden, otherwise, you're beyond screwed. When your team scores in your end zone, you get a touchdown celebration (think Lambeau Leap) and the best view in the house because you are the closest to the game.

When they are on the opposite side, the only way to tell if a team scored is how the fans reacted. I can sit here only if the price is right.

4. 50-yard line lower level

These are the best seats in the house. This is where celebrities sit, where the rich are known, and where only the passionate fans spend this much money for the best seats in the house.

Depending on the game, these can cost upwards to $1,000 a ticket! You are always in the action with this seat, unless of course either team is in the red zone. You will have a side view at all times, which is great when the ball is nearest to you, but awful when the ball heads to the other side of the field.

Being in this position is also best because you are behind one of the team's benches. The seat overall, to me, isn't worth the money, but if you got the wealth to spare, by all means.

5. Skybox (Luxury Box)

Yes, I said above that the 50-yard line, lower-level seats were the best in the house, and I stick by my choice. Why? Because I can't categorize skybox seats as regular seats. The only way to get these is to know people or be a millionaire. To rent a skybox, it costs about $50,000 (I wanted one for my birthday one year but it was too much money).

You take an elevator from the parking garage (located underneath the stadium) to your floor and walk through the wooden doors. You look to the right and see lavish foods such as grapes, cheeses, crackers, pastas, and other tasteful foods.

You look straight and see two "stadium-seating" rows of seats, which are leather lounge chairs. In front of that is a huge pane of glass and below it is the field. Every box is located on the side of the field and is directly above the lower level seats. You are inside away from the harsh weather and you can sit back and relax.

Ahhh....how it feels to be rich and important.

Now, where do you sit during a game? It totally depends on your preference and who you are. Some prefer to be right on the field and go as low as possible no matter where the seats are. Some may want a view of the entire field and go to the nosebleeds along the side of the field.

Others may want to spend their wealth so they can watch the game inside without the bothersome of fans pouring beer on them.

Where you sit during a game does not to matter to anyone but you. You are viewing the game for yourself. You bought these seats and are using them to support your team. No one cares where you sit because when the game begins, everyone is the same...a fan.

Chargers Beat Broncos...Oh Wait, How Did San Diego Lose?

Zachary Wishnov — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:08:08 -0400

They recovered the ball! The Chargers win the game with an amazing come from behind win! Wait...what? Incomplete pass? Is Ed Hochuli on crack?

Sunday's game between the Denver Broncos and San Diego Chargers was an amazing game to watch. It was a shootout, as well as a fantasy owners dream.

Jay Cutler threw the ball 50 times for 350 yards and four touchdowns, Brandon Marshall is now second all time in receptions in a single game with 18 while racking up 166 yards and a touchdown, Chris Chambers had 83 yards and two touchdowns, and quarterback Philip Rivers had 377 passing yards and three touchdowns.

The game should have come down to the gunslingers. It should have come down to the turnover battle. It should have even come down to injuries, but no. This game came down to probably one of the worst calls in the history of the NFL.

Down by seven points in the 4th quarter, Jay Cutler led his team down into the red zone. With 1:15 seconds remaining in the game on the two yard line, Cutler performed a play action pass. Instead of throwing the ball forward, the ball slipped out of his hands and went in the opposite direction with San Diego falling on top of in in celebration of their victory. One problem, it was ruled an incomplete pass.

Ed Hochuli, one of the most revered referees in football, called one of the dumbest calls imaginable. As seen, in the replay, Cutler's arm was clearly moving backwards to throw the ball when the ball came loose thus being a fumble. For some reason, Hochuli blew the whistle (maybe he sneezed and couldn't help himself) and called it a dead play.

With players and fans tilting their heads to the side looking for an explanation, Ed Hochuli did his best to provide one.

He announced, "The play should have been ruled a fumble. By rule, the ball was dead when it hit the ground because the whistle was blown. Therefore, it's Denver's ball at the 10 yard line, which is the spot the ball hit the ground...4th down."

Take time and read this explanation one more time...I'll wait.

...................................

Good..now what the hell does that mean???

I sure as hell don't know. Last time I checked, an incomplete pass would put the Broncos back at the line of scrimmage. I have never seen an incomplete pass move a team back 8 yards. Have you?

I`m not saying Ed Hochuli is a terrible referee. All I`m saying is every good ref makes his share of bad calls, and this was his. He, in turn, gave the Chargers (who should have clearly won) a loss, which could, in turn, ruin their season.

There is one more thing I would like to ask Ed Hochuli...where can I score some of those drugs your taking? That stuff your on must be some crazy shit.

Why Hate on Other Teams and Their Fans? Grow Up and Become a True Fan!

Zachary Wishnov — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:01:00 -0400

Being a Philadelphia Eagles fan, I hear a bunch of things day in and day out. "They suck!" "You'll never win a Super Bowl!" "F*** the Eagles!" Because I have become accustomed to hearing these attacks on my team, I have the ability to not listen to them any longer.

I ignore them and go about my life. Today, though, someone really got to me. I was reading about my beloved Eagles on Philadelphiaeagles.com when a comment got me beet red.

The comment read, "Are you idiots up there in do-do bird country that stupid? I mean serious, you bring up a 10 to 6 win in Dallas last season in which the Boys had nothing to play for a real game. Everything was already wrapped up so why go out and try. Early in the season when the Boys beat the crap out of your beloved birds in your back yard what did the great Philly fans do? You idiots started to boo your own team."

"I am not sure where you people are from but where I am from that is called a fair weather fan. By the way I am from Philly, born and raised but could not stand being around a bunch of cry babies who boo their own team when things are bad and act like you love your team when and only when they are winning."

"So let me say this again, DALLAS will win on Mon. with a score of 27 to 10 then you idiots can start talking about how you could have won week 2 but you had to play the BOYS in DALLAS and that is not fair."

This comment was unprovoked in all ways shapes and forms—truly uncalled for. In my opinion, the reasons why this was uncalled for are as follows:

1. It has been one week into the season. How are you supposed to trash talk after one week?

2. How are you going to call fans idiots? Everyone who writes something states their opinion, which isn't an act of idiocy.

3. He sounds like he has an IQ of 13 by using the phrase "do-do bird country" and by using the word "idiot" three times. You can't think of any more insults than idiot?

4. NEVER EVER EVER call a Philadelphia Eagles fan or any other fan for that matter a fair-weather fan. If you said that to a face in Philly, they would get their friends and beat the living crap out of you. (Seriously though, crap would come out of your orifices).

5. He wrote all of this stuff on a Philadelphia Eagles website! Who does that??? Why was he even on the site in the first place?

Honestly, there are more than five reasons why this source should not have said these things, but there isn't enough time in a lifetime to discuss them all. I mean, how immature and afraid could one possibly be to trash talk on another team's site after only one week, where his team beat a Cleveland team with one of the worst defenses in the league?

Listen, when I am watching this game Monday night, I will be yelling at the TV just like everyone else. I will want Lito Sheppard to break both of Terrell Owens' legs and eat them like mutated turkey legs at Disney World.

I will want a huge hit on Tony Romo, so the ball comes loose and he forgets where he is. The difference is, I still respect the Cowboys. The only Cowboy I don't respect is T.O., for obvious reasons. I do not trash talk unless I am provoked because simply put, any team can win any game in the NFL.

A prime example is last February. Who would have thought the New York Giants could beat the undefeated New England Patriots? NO ONE!!! You know what happens when you trash talk? Your team will eventually lose and you will look like a complete sh**head who doesn't know the difference between football and tennis.

I do not understand why people hate on other fans. I understand we all have a passion for the game, but with passion comes respect. If I was raised to be a Giants or Cowboys fan, I would love that team.

If anything, by bashing other fans, you are bashing their beliefs, passions, and for the truly obsessed and crazed fans, religions.

All I ask is for you to ask yourself a few questions. Why am I a fan of this particular team? What does trash talking do? And what did the other team do to me? Show respect for your rivals, and if someone starts talkin' trash, do what I do, smile and say, "We'll see."

SOME EXTRA NOTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. I thought Terrell Owens matured since being in Dallas until today...Why would he start saying more crap about McNabb and the Eagles? I mean come on! Get a life T.O. and grow up!

2. If you were wondering what I wrote back to that crazy Dallas fan, I simply called him out as being a terrible fan, cursed him out, and then said get the hell off of my team's site.

Fantasy Vs. Reality...How Fantasy Football Changes The Way We Watch It

Zachary Wishnov — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:31:32 -0400

"NOOOOO!!!!! SON OF A B****!!!!! F***!!!!!! DIE PETERSON DIE!!!!!"

This is what came out of my mouth Monday night with about 3 minutes left in the Minnesota Vikings vs. Green Bay Packers game.

Why? Because Adrian Peterson scored a touchdown that's why!

Do I hate the Vikings? No. Do I love the Packers? No. Do I have anything against Adrian Peterson or care about the outcome of this game? Hell No. So why am I cursing at the television while throwing my controller at the wall? Two words...Fantasy Football.

Whether you like it or not, playing fantasy football changes the way you watch the NFL in reality.

I am a diehard Philadelphia Eagles fan and while this game had nothing to do with my team in the slightest, I sat down for three hours and watched every play. On everyone of those offensive plays for the Vikings, I hoped to god that Adrian Peterson did not touch the ball and if he did, I wished that one of the Packers defensive players would tackle him and than take a buzzsaw to his leg and render him unable to continue the game.

I`m not a mean fan, I wish Peterson the best of luck (as long as it doesnt come against my beloved Eagles.)

The only thing I hoped for this game was either less than 130 yards and no touchdowns, or 1 touchdown and less than 70 yards. If these things were accomplished, I would be sittin' here pretty with a 1-0 start in my fantasy league. Instead, I am 0-1 and furious beyond all belief at how shitty my luck had become.

I can't even begin to explain how unlucky I was in fantasy football this week. But for the sake of this article, I will.

I started both Joseph Addai and Willis McGahee this week as my starters, thinking that the Colts running back is a complete stud and McGahee was probable to play the game.

Apparently, Mcgahee did not play one snap and got me 0 points; Addai barely touched the ball and in the beginning of the 4th quarter, he got knocked on his ass and sat out watching the rest of the game.

He got me 4 points.

A combination of 4 points from my premier runningbacks is ridiculous considering my kicker, Jeff Reed, got me 8 points! Anyway, I was up by 13 points with the Monday Night Football game to be played the next day.

It was happening before my very eyes! What seemed to be the last drive of the game, the Vikings were throwing the ball everytime, trying to frantically score a touchdown.

They threw and threw, with me yelling everytime as they got closer to scoring—meaning Peterson wouldn't get anymore yards until it happened.

On the 3 yard line, they handed it off to Peterson who ran right in for the go ahead, killing of my fantasy weekend. This was his first touch of the drive and it was for a touchdown.

Now do you see why I yelled at the TV?

The point is that I would't have given 3 shits about that game, even if those shits were huge.

Playing fantasy football makes you watch other teams, It makes you research players outside of your regular realm and turns you into a football maniac flipping through channels looking for your players statistics.

Who cares about the St. Louis Rams or the Cincinatti Bungals or the Atlanta Falcons? Besides those particular fans, no one does. But if your fantasy team consists of Torry 'Big Game' Holt, as my friend Adam likes to call him, or Chad Ocho Cinco (Johnson), or Michael Turner, your ass will be superglued to your seat watching every play.

You'll start cheering for those players and teams, causing you to have eight favorite teams instead of one. This is why Fantasy Football changes the way you watch real football and this is why I can't possibly live without it.