Bleacher Report - Articles by Jack New

Seven Plays Dumber Than DeSean Jackson

Jack New — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:11:19 -0400

Of course, the Philadelphia Eagles Jackson’s play was not of huge consequence (although some of the staunchest Cowboys haters were hoping for a goal-line stand, just for karma). There have been plenty of bonehead plays before his. We at IGN reviewed some of the best in recent sports history:

7 - Leon Lett’s Fumble Recovery

It is widely accepted that with his bonehead play, DeSean Jackson has officially entered the Leon Lett Club. For some reason, the king of bonehead plays is not on YouTube as of this writing, but in Super Bowl XXVII (Jan 1993), Lett was fortunate enough to recover a fumble against the Buffalo Bills and take it to the house...Except he put his hands out to celebrate in the last 10 yards before approaching the end zone and one of the Bills players caught up to him and knocked the ball out of his hand. Although it was in the Super Bowl, the play was of no consequence as the Cowboys won handily.

6 - Leon Lett. Again. The very next season.

This time was not in the Super Bowl, but it did cost his team the game. On Thanksgiving Day, 1993, during a snowstorm in Dallas, the Cowboys were leading the Dolphins 14-13 and simply needed to run out the clock if the Dolphins miss their field goal.

Well, the FG was blocked and the Cowboys started celebrating–except Lett tried to pick up the ball and proceeded to fumble it, which allowed the Dolphins to regain possession and kick another FG as the clock ran out.

5 - Jose Canseco uses his head

During his 1993 stint with the Texas Rangers, Canseco allowed what would’ve been an easy out against the Cleveland Indians to be an easy score. He lost a flyball in the lights as he approached the warning track, and the ball missed his glove and bounced off his head. In a sport that is so heavily based on statistics, it’s safe to say that Canseco led the league that year in assists.

Click for the entire article (with movies of each play).

Tommy Kelly of the Oakland Raiders Busted for DUI

Jack New — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 11:49:57 -0400

According to TMZ, Oakland Raider DT Tommy Kelly was arrested Sunday night in Oakland on a DUI charge.

Normally, I would say Kelly was probably drinking another Raiders loss away, but Oakland actually beat the Chiefs this week.

Since this story is boring, we have included Raiderette pics for your viewing pleasure!

Click for more pics.

Tony Kornheiser Sticks Foot in Mouth During Cowboys-Eagles Game

Jack New — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:06:09 -0400

The NFL is celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month. Last night, on MNF, ESPN played a clip of a Spanish announcer.

Tony Kornheiser said, “I took high school Spanish, either he said he’s not going to be caught, or please pick up my dry cleaning tomorrow.”

Apparently the NFL did not approve. Later, TK came back with, “I said something before which I shouldn’t have said, I apologize for it. Not my first mistake, undoubtedly won’t be my last, but a 100% apology.”

I wonder if Tony Gonzalez will be a guest of five good minutes after the game?

Jake Roberts Shows His Snake to Wrestling Crowd

Jack New — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 05:49:52 -0400

Former WWE star Jake "The Snake" Roberts had a total meltdown in Ohio over the weekend. In video supplied by TMZ (http://www.tmz.com/2008/09/15/jake-the-snake-implodes/), a very fat, out of shape Roberts is seen in what must be a drunken, stoned state.

In what may be the worst wrestling match of all time, Jake stumbled throughout the fight. His performance was so bad that his opponent, J.T. Lightning, grabbed a mic and said, "I have been in the business 16 years...you are a piece of sh**, Snake."

Left alone in the ring, Roberts did the only logical thing possible: he pulled his junk out for the crowd.

Call Anna Rawson, World's Hottest Athlete

Jack New — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 07:22:54 -0400

In what could be a too good to be true scenario, former University of Southern California golfer Anna Rawson has posted her phone number on her personal web site. Feel free to call her at 213-785-7676....

More pics at:

http://blog.ingamenow.com/2008/09/11/call-golfer-anna-rawson-the-hottest-athlete-on-the-planet/

The Chicago Cubs Suck Worse Than Danger Beach

Jack New — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 07:25:06 -0400

The Cubs have lost eight of their previous nine games. While they still have the most wins in the National League, nobody in the city is feeling excited. The Milwaukee Brewers trail the cubs by 4.5 games in the NL Central. Both Harden and Zambrano have missed starts due to arm trouble.

The Cubs currently have a 99-season loosing streak. The last time they won a title was 1908. Cubs fans in their mid 60s have not had the chance to see their beloved team play in a World Series.

I am trying to get myself excited about other things, including Entourage. Unfortunately, it looks like Season Five is going to be a bust.

Vinny Chase is going to be going after a movie called Danger Beach. To make matters worse, it looks like Eric Murphy is going to be a big part of the show. They only character in television that might suck more than E is Lisa Simpson.

To read the full article, please visit here.

Slovakia Beat Bulgaria 82-0 in Women’s Hockey

Jack New — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 02:36:28 -0400

Bulgaria might be the worst sports team in the world. In their 4 game Olympic Qualifying tournament, they lost by a combined 192-1!

First, to answer the question, yes women’s hockey is a sport. Proof of that can be seen in the picture!

Fan Challenges Terrell Owens to a 100-Meter Race for $25,000

Jack New — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 12:42:19 -0400

Last week, Terrell Owens was quoted on HBO’s Hard Knocks as saying, “I could beat Usain Bolt if I got a 20-yard had start.”

I am not impressed by this at all. I hope an NFL Pro Bowl wide receiver could beat Bolt in this race. What I would like to do now is make a challenge to TO.

I formally challenge TO to a race. I am a 30-year old white kid that has run less than 100 miles in my life. To prove how weak T.O.’s claim is, I bet $25,000 that I can beat Terrell Owens in a 100-meter race, where I get a 20 meter head start.

My only stipulations are that: 1) The money goes to a charity of the winner's choice, and 2) the race happens after the NFL season...

To finish the arcticle, please visit here.

Chicago is Entering Seinfeld's Bizarro World

Jack New — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 12:31:32 -0400

In analyzing the Chicago Bears and Chicago Cubs, it is clear something strange is going on. My conclusion is that Chicago is currently Bizarro Chicago. Let me break it down for you.

Bizarro Cedric Benson is Matt Forte. Last season, Cedric Benson STUNK. In fact, his entire time in Chicago was horrible. After being drafted No. 4 overall in the NFL draft, Benson sat out for 36 days of camp. To sum up Benson’s playing, the world “bust” comes to mind.

Benson has had so many DUI’s (both on land and water) that he now must drive a Blo and Go. He must breath into his car to prove his isn’t’ drunk before the car will start.

On the other hand, Matt Forte had an outstanding NFL debut for the Bears. He rushed 23 times for 123 yards and 1 TD. Forte is smart enough to keep his name out of the police blotter, and is generally liked in the locker room. Forte has been a great change of pace for the Bears backfield.

To read the rest of the article, please visit

http://blog.ingamenow.com/2008/09/08/the-bears-beat-the-colts-last-night-the-mlb-leading-cubs-have-lost-7-of-8chicago-is-entering-bizarro-world/

Why Matt Cassel Will Start for the Entire Season for the New England Patriots

Jack New — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 12:17:09 -0400

Many people have called to New England to reunite Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss.

I disagree.

Even when he was a fantasy monster, Culpepper was an inaccurate quarterback who could run and throw bombs. Now he can’t run, and Cassel can probably throw bombs, too (and knows the Pats' playbook, knows Pats' opponents, knows Pats' players, knows Pats' coaches, etc).

I thinks it’s unlikely the Pats bring anyone in at QB. They have three on the roster (Matt Cassel, Matt Gutierrez, and Kevin O’Connell) that the Pats drafted in the last four years.

Belichik has always shown a willingness to play young or inexperienced guys he thinks are good players, even firing more experienced guys in the process. (Brady over Bledsoe, Eugene Wilson over Lawyer Milloy, Stephen Gostowski over Adam Vinitieri).

You can read the rest of the article at InGameNow.