If Bobby Bowden Talked: Jim Smith, Trustees, and Seminole Football Writers

T.J. Wilson — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:45:32 -0400

If Bobby Bowden were to write an open letter, this is what he might say:

Dear Chairman of the Board, Trustees, Writers, And Others Who Wish I Would Wilt On The Vine As A Retiree,

I know you. You are the guy who goes all in on your fifth hand at poker night and ends up driving us nuts with your expert poker playing advice thereafter. Yeah, you’re the same guy I saw crying foul to the clerk at the DMV after (gasp) you had to wait for 20 minutes! We all knew you were kind of a big deal after that.

You're the same guy who spoke up because FSU lost again on Saturday and you can’t stand it anymore.

I know, I know; it’s not about you. It was a duty to others that made you speak out over the weekend.

Right, Mr. Chairman?

Saying, “I think enough is enough,” wasn’t rash or selfish in any way. It was all about the boosters and the fans.

So why did the rest of the table then have the patience not to go all in with a crappy hand in the fifth round? It seems like you were so determined to teach us the way you play poker that you forgot there was a game being played.

You said exactly what we thought a self indulgent guy would say: "It's really about other people," and "I hate having to do this." But we know you meant, "It's time for me to throw my weight around."

Mr. Sportswriter, I see you are mad too. Wait, did you just get here? Did you even buy in?

You said our record speaks for itself. You claimed that a record of two wins and three losses to start the season is unprecedented for FSU. You are right on both points in that nobody has played as tough a schedule thus far, and that our program's history of winning makes any loss unable to stand as a moral victory. But you are writing like the Noles should have crushed the other team in all three losses.

Miami the red-headed stepchild? USF the no-name teenager? Boston College who has stayed in the Seminary all these years after we left? Oh, the humanity! Will the football scholars please tell us how we will ever win again?

Since you are the seer of the endtime of winning at FSU and you are good at over-simplifying for the public the issues that you can’t fully understand yourself, I feel obligated to clarify a few things. I hope you can wrap your head around them.

1. To begin the season, we lost to three well-ranked football teams, who are all contenders in two very tough conferences.

2. We blew out a great BYU team in Provo.

3. This week, we have found our identity as a team and you will see a shift from a good team with great athletes to simply a great team.

4. The ACC race is and will remain wide open. We plan to win it.

5. There are forces that create ups and downs outside of our control in any organization—even football teams—regardless of who is boss.

6. Believe it or not, this makes an annual blowout of Florida and Miami, winning the ACC crown, and beating Florida a second time in the BCS title game a small hurdle for us.

Mr. Chairman, trustees, and sportswriters: Thanks for speaking up for the Seminoles still in the game that were waiting on your words of advice and have now folded away the season. We don't want them anyway.

I appreciate you indulging yourselves at a time and in a way that motivates those of us who aren’t quitters to keep playing the game the best we can. On behalf of the coaches, players, families, and all reasonable fans: Thanks for letting us know whose with us and whose against us.

I'm going all in on an ACC championship starting this Saturday at 8:00 pm.

All My Love,

Bobby

(This is solely the opinion of the writer of this opinion piece and not Bobby Bowden, but if it were Bobby that would be pretty sweet.)

The Law of The Butt Pad: Growing Weary Of Media Coverage

T.J. Wilson — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:47:08 -0400

Why do beat writers and columnists write about college football like they themselves are strapping up on Saturdays? The answer and solution to our frustration lies in examining the story of the football butt pad that so many of us share.

The Infamous Butt Pad Quandary

I remember the anticipation. The kind that only the kids who haven't been through late July practices in the state of Florida get. The kind that goes away before you are even done stretching because you realize that you are scorching hot and out of breath and practice is yet to begin.

But the thing that took the anticipation away from me happened before the first practice whistle ever sounded. It was showing up at peewee practice with a butt pad worn like a cup and waddling my way around until finally a coach asked if it was in the right spot.

While not a write of passage into football, or journalism, placing the butt pad in the front-protecting what it closely resembles—rather than in the back-seemingly protecting nothing-has helped me understand why it is that I can no longer enjoy reading most local beat writers/columnists.

It's not that they need to have suffered this humiliation to write about football. It is because they are unable to.

You see, most local beat writers and columnists—like I did only at my first football practice—continually put their butt pad in the wrong spot.

Instead of truly and emphatically listening to the players and coaches telling and showing them the practical place for their butt pad—and the story itself—these journalists keep their butt pad—semiotic of their ego—in front because it looks like it fits there. They are unable to see that the other people involved are what makes a story.

Whether they have played the game or not, something in their psyche is telling them that they are lacking. It is telling them that the only way to be complete is to look like they fit in the front. So they stay up front blurring the picture rather than helping readers gain a complete perspective of the subject matter.

I mean, when is the last time that you put down the paper and felt like you saw the whole picture of the subject and not it's bits and pieces?

When these journalists are in the front fighting to look the part while also trying to observe sporting events and news they end up writing and speaking about themselves in a way that is distracting in the best case and laughably herculean in the worst.

Maybe it's because of my ego, but i'm pretty sure it's theirs because I moved my butt pad to it's proper place in the sixth grade. Nonetheless, we are getting the views of people who want to look like they fit into the story they are telling rather than those that want to be protectors, observers, and authors of the total experience.

When one moves to and writes from the unseen rear, only then can they share the true experience.

Bleacher Report - Articles by T.J. Wilson

If Bobby Bowden Talked: Jim Smith, Trustees, and Seminole Football Writers

The Law of The Butt Pad: Growing Weary Of Media Coverage