Bleacher Report - Articles by Zeptogator

Brandon Spikes Is the Most Huggable Guy in College Football

Zeptogator — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:34:33 -0500

Over the past several years Florida Gator linebacker Brandon Spikes has shown his friendliness and hospitality to his fellow teammates, coaches, fans, and opposing players time and again, both on the field and off. Without a doubt, Brandon Spikes is the friendliest, nicest, most huggable player in college football today and the following slides will prove that beyond a shadow of a doubt. Don't let his menacing appearance fool you. Brandon is just a big squishy bear inside, longing to hug someone.

Begin Slideshow

What If Tim Tebow Were Human?

Zeptogator — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:52:02 -0400

Certainly you still don't believe Tim Tebow is human, do you?

Two national championships, two SEC conference championships, a Heisman, countless other individual football awards, academic awards, missionary work, prison yard speeches, The Promise, legendary status, and even a line of orange and blue thongs in honor of his name.

As Coach Urban Meyer remarked, "He's not like the rest of us."

For a brief moment in Kentucky the world held it's breath in disbelief that Tebow might actually be human, felled by the massive knee of a fellow Gator, lying motionless on the field as if struck by a Kryptonite bullet.

Later we realized that he indeed was not like us, playing the entire game in Death Valley against the LSU Tigers. Just like his previous battles, Tebow willed his team to victory again, seemingly invincible.

Seriously, how do we know if he is really human? Perhaps he is the first mutant on earth with superpowers. Perhaps there are others. Isn't it uncanny how Brandon Spikes resembles The Predator? And can humans really run as fast as Percy Harvin, Jeffrey Demps, and Chris Rainey? Mutants, all of them.

I'm not writing this to create hate against non-humans or to incite the NCAA to investigate illegal use of mutant superheroes in college sports. I'm just asking a legitimate question that some may not have thought about yet.

Just ask yourself this question, "If Tebow were human, would I still like him as much?"

For a Gator like me, the answer is clear. Whether he is white, black, brown, yellow, human, mutant, vampire, or anything else, as long as Tebow wears the Orange and Blue he is alright with me.

I love Tebow.

I said it. I love Tebow, whether he is human or not. Even his trite fist pumps and thuggish excessive celebration antics do not diminish my love and respect for Tebow.

Certainly I am guilty of some form of discrimination. All of us are whether we realize it or not. I hate Bulldogs, abhor Seminoles, and the damages made by Hurricanes are still considered as criminal in my book. Lock them all up I say.

However, when it comes to the Orange and Blue of the Florida Gators there is no color, no mascot, no school its equal.

All colors, races, and creeds are welcomed to don the Orange and Blue...just as long as you can play some ball.

Sour Grapes: Florida Gators Facing Bull's-Eye in 2009

Zeptogator — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:28:00 -0400

There seems to be a lot of hate for the Florida Gators this offseason. Everyone seems to be waiting on the next arrest so they can further deride the mighty Gators. Whether it's a jaywalking violation or another tasing, they are waiting for any fuel for their fire.

Perhaps everyone is tired of hearing about Tim Tebow, his mission, and his prowess at football, at circumcisions, and everything in between.

Maybe they are already tired of the talk of three BCS Championships in four years.

I'm sure these same people rejoiced after watching the alluring Gator softball team fall in the World Series, while the Gator baseball team also fell short of its goal.

I would also guess that the back-to-back NCAA basketball championships still leave a lingering sting despite the team's recent struggles.

Such is the view from the top of the college sports world. The 2009 Gators are the biggest target in the land, and all other programs and fans hope to be big game hunters, dreaming of felling the mighty beast. Whether it be on the field or off, people are gunning for the Gators.

Get used to it, Gator fans and players. This is the price of success.

Is this treatment fair? Probably not, but it isn't going to stop. Fairness would be to highlight not only just the Gators' imperfections, but other teams' imperfections as well. For example, a smattering of recent college football headlines not involving the phrase "Gator football" include:

"Three Georgia football players arrested at BBQ."

"Southern Mississippi's all-time leading rusher arrested for allegedly firing at least one gunshot at an apartment complex."

"Five UTEP players arrested for bar brawl."

"Another FSU football player arrested."

"Seventeen Ohio University football players have been arrested over the past nine months."

"Two Marshall players suspended after drug arrests."

"Texas Tech football player arrested by DEA and charged with dealing cocaine."

"An Alabama cornerback was arrested for disorderly conduct. He was the fourth Alabama football player arrested in the past two months"

"Two WSU football players arrested on theft and burglary charges."

"Arizona Wildcats football player arrested on DUI charges."

"Santa Ana football players arrested for violent gang rape."

When compared to these headlines, the recent arrest and tasing of Florida cornerback Janoris Jenkins for preventing someone from stealing his bling seems rather tame. Sure, he shouldn't have tried to run, but I'm just astonished that anyone was able to catch him.

Perhaps the Gators should be recruiting some of those Gainesville Police Department boys...the fastest PD in the land. It must be all the Gatorade in the Gainesville waters.

So for all the Gator haters out there, bring your A-game and tasers if you must. Give us your best shot, because we've already promised and delivered on bringing ours. We even have a nice plaque and pair of crystals to prove it.

How To Win a BCS Championship Game For Dummies

Zeptogator — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:06:27 -0500

For some, winning a BCS Championship game is very difficult. For most, just getting to the championship game is impossible. Here are some very simple steps to improve your chances at doing both.

Getting to the Game

Just getting to the BCS Championship game is half the battle. There are five basic steps that teams and coaches must follow in order to make it to the big game:

1) Win the SEC Championship—Winning the SEC Championship is a key requirement for reaching the BCS Championship game. The SEC Champion has won the BCS Championship game each of the last three years. SEC teams are 5-0 in BCS Championship matchups since the inception of the BCS.

The SEC has more BCS bowl wins than any other conference. Even if the SEC Champion has one or two losses during the season, winning the SEC virtually assures that team of a spot in the BCS Championship game.

2) Complete an undefeated season and win your conference championship game—If your team is unfortunate enough not to be a member of the SEC, then the second most important step is for your team to go undefeated AND win your conference championship game. By doing this, your team will most likely be allowed to compete against the SEC champion for the BCS crown.

3) Complete an undefeated season and have quality, blow-out non-conference wins—Some of the weaker conferences do not have a conference championship game, which puts teams in such conferences at a disadvantage.

In order for such a team to reach the BCS Championship game, it will need to schedule quality opponents from other BCS conferences and beat them convincingly. Without an undefeated season and without at least one blow-out win against a non-conference BCS opponent, teams will find it very difficult proving that they deserve a shot at the title.

4) By the end of the regular season, have your only loss come from an early matchup against a top-ranked BCS team—Losing to the No. 1 ranked team near or at the end of the season does you no good.

Note: This rule only applies to teams in one of the major BCS conferences. Also, the key is to lose early but only once, preferable due to a controversial call or because your star player was injured or at less than 90 percent.

5) Lose only one game, reside in the eastern part of the country, score lots and lots of points, hail from a historically significant program, and have a huge fan base—Even if you fail to go undefeated and do not win your own conference, you might have a chance of reaching the BCS championship if there are no other undefeated teams or if the SEC Champion has two or more losses.

While the chances are slim, certain teams from the states of Ohio, Michigan, Oklahoma, Texas, Alabama, Florida, and others stand to reach the BCS Championship game even if they don't really deserve to be there.

Winning the Game

Now that your team has reached to BCS Championship game, it is time to actually win something. Many teams and coaches are just happy to make it to the BCS Championship game.

Even though most players and coaches would deny it, just getting to the game and collecting a fat check for their alma mater is good enough. The exception would be for SEC teams, which genuinely want and expect to win the BCS Championship. Here are three ways of winning the big game:

1) Win the SEC Championship—In most instances, winning the SEC Championship game ensures that you will also win the BCS Championship game. It is important for the SEC Champions to continue to practice and condition their players during the time between the SEC Championship game and the BCS Championship game, but usually there is no need to go out of your way to dream up new schemes. Just being the SEC Championship is usually enough.

2) Play in a BCS Championship game against a non-SEC opponent—While it is very rare that the SEC Champion is not invited to play the BCS Championship game, it has happened. When this does happen, you need to make the most of your opportunity, and hope that you get to play a Big 12 or Big 10 team, which will maximize your chances of winning.

3) Play great defense—If for some reason No. 1 and No. 2 above are not in your favor, you still have a very slim chance of winning if your team is able to play outstanding defense.

Since your team probably has to play against an SEC defense in order to win the BCS Championship, fancy offensive stats and passing games won't work. Your best bet if for you to establish the run, avoid turnovers, and hope that your defense can slow down the usually methodical SEC offense.

Summary

SEC teams obviously have an advantage at winning college football's ultimate trophy. However, just because your team comes from an inferior conference, doesn't know how to play defense, or really doesn't even belong in the title game, that doesn't mean that you can never make it to the big game and at least experience what it is like to lose to the SEC Champion.

Best of luck with the 2009 season and reaching the title game against Florida!

Florida Gator Juniors Staying, But Is Florida Football Jumping To The NFL?

Zeptogator — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 17:23:37 -0500

At the end of the championship celebrations in Gainesville, Florida this weekend, Heisman-trophy winning, two-time BCS Champion, two-time SEC Champion, circumcision expert, King of the Philippines, and quarterback Timmy "Superman" "Don't Make Me Gator Chomp You" Tebow proclaimed that he would return to the Florida Gator football team for his senior season.

Shortly thereafter, Percy "No Mercy" "I'm Faster Than You Even At 90%" Harvin and Brandon "Your Team Is a Joke" "There Is No Catchy Nickname That Can Describe What It Is Like When I Hit You" Spikes also announced their intentions of staying in Gainesville for their senior season.

In addition, all of the six and seven-star 2009 Gator high school recruits also announced they would stay with the Gators. Unfortunately, after Tebow's announcement, Florida did lose one QB recruit from the town of Smallville, who was expecting to start as a true freshman.

What was even more shocking was the announcement from Coach Urban "The Urbanizer" "No, Not Suburbanizer Or Womanizer" "I Love This Team" Meyer that he and his entire staff will be taking jobs in the NFL.

When first questioned about this, a surprised Meyer just said, "We're No. 1, you guys can go figure out the rest, it's not up to me."

Calls to the Florida Gator Football Public Relations desk went unanswered, as the voicemail message simply said, "Due to recent events, we are currently replenishing our stockpile of Gatorade and will return your call as soon as we can. Go Gators!"

There are also unsubstantiated rumors neither confirmed nor denied by the author of this article that the Florida Gators will become the 33rd franchise of the National Football League. Anonymous experts speculate that Urban Meyer and his staff will continue to coach the Gators and the Gator starting line-up would remain intact.

The Owner of the new franchise is also a mystery. Some don't even believe that the Owner exists. However, earlier today Tebow was quoted as saying "I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to tell you at this point, but I can say the He does exist, and I talk to Him on a daily basis."

College football reporters have often speculated that at some point the Florida Gators, as well as the USC Trojans, would be moved to the next level, but most dismissed it as crazy talk.

However, with the embarrassing collapse of the Big Ten and Big Twelve conferences this decade, the SEC is the only true top-to-bottom power conference remaining in the FBS, and in the West, USC has been a Trojan man among boys for the past eight years.

Oklahoma cornerback Dominic Franks quipped, "Well, I guess the Big 12 defenses were a joke, but still I think Tebow would only be the fourth-best quarterback in the NFL."

There was no immediate response from Tebow as he flew to the Philippines this afternoon, incidentally around the same time as a massive line of tornadoes spun through the midwest.

Reaction from NFL players to the rumors were mixed. Donovan McNabb was quoted as saying, "I thought they already were an NFL team?"

Peyton Manning, who has never beaten Florida, said, "I'd love to take another shot at those Gators. Man, they're fast".

Crazy talk? I think not.

When asked to comment about the NFL, Brandon Spikes just said, "It's a joke. All these NFL analyst say the Tebow isn't NFL material. I just know that Tim will tear NFL defenses apart. No NFL defense can stop his jump pass, nobody."

Spikes' message to NFL defenses seems to be "fear the jump pass."

Fear the jump pass indeed, NFL. Tebow is coming.

Revisited: How Bob Stoops Cracked the BCS Code and Seized the Heisman

Zeptogator — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 15:26:33 -0500

(This is a reprint of an article originally written on Dec. 14, 2008, shortly after Sam Bradford won the Heisman)

Dec. 14, 2008—

First off, kudos to Oklahoma's Sam Bradford for having a great season and for winning the Heisman.

However, this article isn't about Bradford, McCoy, Harrell, or Tebow.

This article is about their coaches and the evolution of their offensive systems and its impact on college football.

Most would consider Oklahoma's point production this year as unreal. The Sooners averaged 54 points per game and broke the NCAA record for most points scored in a season.

Certainly, the Sooner offense is potent and stocked with weapons. However, let's take a closer look.

Oklahoma runs a hurry-up or fast-tempo spread offense. Other schools, such as Texas Tech, Kansas, Nebraska, San Diego State, Arizona, and Houston run or try to run a similar offense.

Interestingly, all of the head coaches for these teams were at one time assistants to Bob Stoops of Oklahoma.

A fast-tempo offense keeps the defense off-balance and is usually more fun for the players on offense. What it also does is increase the number of plays over the course of a game.

For example, OU averages 79 offensive plays per game. In contrast, the Florida Gators average only 61 offensive plays per game. That is a difference of 18 plays, or 30 percent each game.

Despite this difference, both teams average about 29:44 in time of possession. The average Sooner play takes six seconds less than the average Gator play on offense.

If Florida also ran this "speed-spread" offense, their scoring average would be 58 points per game, besting the Sooner's record-breaking pace this year.

Every system has loopholes and can be "gamed" or exploited.

Stoops and his disciples have cracked the BCS code by using high-tempo offenses. Even in the fourth quarter of blowout games, Stoops continued to run this offense deliberately, most notably in the Big 12 championship game, to run up the score beyond 60 points.

Points are sexy, and it sells the voters.

Well, it worked. His team is in the BCS championship game, and his QB has won the Heisman.

Voters and computers alike have been in awe of these unreal, inflated offensive numbers, while ignoring the inflation on the defensive side of the ball.

However, in the end, does this system work? The Sooners are 0-4 in their past four BCS bowl games. Texas, which does not run as high a tempo offense as OU, soundly beat the Sooners by 10 on a neutral field and controlled the clock effectively in their fourth quarter come from behind win.

Only time will tell, but my feeling is that the college football world has been deceived by Stoops and his tempo spread offense.

Some would say this is genius, others a travesty.

I'll let you decide.

UPDATE: Jan. 8, 2009

During the BCS Championship game, Florida held Oklahoma to only 14 total points, winning the game 24-14 and slowing down the record-breaking OU offense, proving yet again that defense wins championships.

OU gave a valiant effort, but as the players themselves mentioned, they just didn't make enough plays at the end.

Coach Bob Stoops is now 0-5 over the last five BCS games. Next year, Stoops and his disciples will most likely continue to run the hurry-up spread, posting inconceivable offensive numbers, and again the voters will likely be entranced by the seemingly magical numbers against defenses that some call a joke.

I hope that the results of the championship game and other bowl games make the voters, pollsters, players, and fans take a closer look and not only focus on offensive production, but the value of defenses as well. Otherwise, the BCS controversy will rage on until a playoff system evolves, which might never happen.

Florida Gator Running Backs: Good Enough for a Nickname?

Zeptogator — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 07:11:26 -0500

In the Book of Revelation, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are described in dark detail. Conquest, War, Famine, and Death were their names.

Their powers were equally disturbing. Each rode a different colored steed and carried different weapons of mass destruction.

Interpretations abound about these dangerous fellas. One even suggests that they were four kings rather than doom-and-gloom horsemen.

In 1924, the Four Horsemen moniker referred to Notre Dame's legendary backfield. Some guy named Knute Rockne was the coach back then and led them to an undefeated season that year.

Charles Bachman, a disciple of Rockne, became the head coach of the Florida Gators in 1928 and was within two failed extra-point attempts of completing a perfect season. The Gator backfield was known as the Phantom Four. Florida has yet to have an undefeated season.

In the 1960's and '70s, several NFL teams christened their defensive lines as the Fearsome Foursome. The New York Giants, Detroit Lions, San Diego Chargers, and Los Angeles Rams all laid claim to that name.

In modern times, we have the Fantastic Four, a superhero team from the pages of Marvel Comics. Mr. Fantastic was the super-smart and stretchy leader, Sue Storm was his Invisible Woman, her little brother Johnny was the Human Torch, and Ben Grimm became The Thing.

Extraordinary powers and legendary performance are usually required to earn a nickname. Are the Florida Gator running backs deserving of such recognition?

As a running back, Percy Harvin has run for 538 yards and nine touchdowns this year. He averages 8.8 yards per rush. He also has impressive numbers as a wide receiver and dabbles as a quarterback or punt returner from time to time. Some call him the Perfect Weapon and defenses fear Percy-cution.

Jeffrey Demps has 582 yards, seven touchdowns, and 8.4 yards per rush. He has also blocked two kicks this year. He is known as the Fastest American Teenager Ever.

Chris Rainey leads the Gators with 655 yards on the ground, averages 7.9 yards per carry, and has scored four touchdowns. Like Demps, he also contributes to the special teams. Rainey's speed is already an urban legend, and he never backs down from a challenge.

Emmanuel Moody has 417 rushing yards, one touchdown, and a respectable 7.3 yards per rush. Moody lacks the world-class speed of his colleagues, but is a tough runner and is difficult to bring down. He's the quiet one who runs over people.

Combined, these four running backs have totaled 2,192 yards, 21 touchdowns, and 8.1 yards per carry.

Unselfish, speedy, and balanced are good ways to describe this group, this band of brothers, this no-name foursome who are often overshadowed by their already-legendary quarterback.

These four weapons have destroyed Florida's opponents this year. Like Marvel's First Family, they too have superpowers: lightning quick speed, elusiveness, strength, and toughness. Defenses are playing Russian roulette, unsure which bullet will torch them next. Pick your poison.

This dangerous backfield is what the Gators were lacking in 2007 and was the biggest question mark going into 2008. Now, running back is arguably the best, strongest, and deepest position on the Florida roster. Yet, it is still often overlooked.

And for this new Phantom Four, this speedy, hard-working, unselfish group toiling in the shadow of football's Superman, that is probably just fine.

How Bob Stoops and His Disciples Cracked the BCS Code and Seized the Heisman

Zeptogator — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 02:21:38 -0500