Bleacher Report - Articles by Charles Asbury

The Cinderella Story of Mark Martin

Charles Asbury — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 22:04:25 -0500

Mark Martin has declared that this is really, really, and I mean really his last year racing full-time in NASCAR. I personally hate to see him go, as will many other NASCAR fans.

On and off the track, he comes across a champion in every sense of the word. You won’t find a nicer guy in the sport.

He represents NASCAR well, by hard work, discipline, dedication, fair driving tactics, and has no problem admitting when he is at fault after a crash.

He is the Brett Favre of NASCAR. Oh, and by-the-way, he doesn’t beat his wife, do steroids, shoot himself in the leg while out clubbing with friends, or cause any in-house distractions with his fellow teammates. Why? Because he’s Mark Martin.

After gunning for a NASCAR championship that has eluded him for more than 25 years, Mark now has a better chance than ever before, in his new ride with Hendrick Motorsports.

A dynasty boasting big name teammates like Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. If there ever was a time to make a serious run for that elusive championship, that time is now.

If you take the time to look at Martin’s stats, he has produced numbers worthy of championships many times over. He made his NASCAR debut in 1981, and since then, he has qualified and started 41 races on the pole.

He has 243 top five finishes, and 396 top ten finishes in 700 starts. He ranks 18th overall on the all-time win list with 35 trophies to his credit.

In the Nationwide series, he leads all drivers past and present with 48 wins. He actually did win four championships in the short track ASA series, and five in the IROCC series.

But, by using the analogy of a dove hunter, the Nascar Sprint Cup Championship, is one bird Mark Martin just can’t seem to bring down. Until now…

With one big trophy missing from his case, Martin has decided to give it one last try. He signed a one-year, full time deal with Hendrick Motorsports, driving the No. 5 Chevrolet. Rick Hendrick is in his 25thanniversary as a Cup car owner.

He established a friendship with Martin back in 2007, when Mark drove a car for him in three Nationwide Series events. In his first race, Mark placed second at Darlington. In 2008, Martin would share the stage with Hendrick in victory lane at Las Vegas.

The short stint allowed crew chief Alan Gustafson the opportunity to get to know Martin. As fate would have it, this year, Gustafson is Mark Martin’s new crew chief.

The tale of Mark Martin, it’s got the making of a story made for publishing. Take it from another old school guy, who knows the weight of being the underdog. Sometimes Cinderella stories do come true.

And waiting 25 years makes the deal even sweeter. To pull off a championship season would be pretty special for everyone, especially Mark Martin. I’ll be pulling for Mark Martin, until his very last lap. His last shot in ole No. 5!

NASCAR Rips Off Fans With Early Finish at 2009 Daytona 500

Charles Asbury — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 21:57:14 -0500

With the economy being like it is, it’s a slap in the face of all money strapped Nascar fans when a race ends the way Nascar ended the Daytona 500.

I thought Nascar was going to be more creative and fan friendly this year. They were going to help out us broke fans, by offering better deals on tickets, etc. Because they’re looking out for the fans. Yeah right!

Run the other laps when it’s dry! The track was dry at 8:57p.m., with no further showers. Most fans wouldn’t even have cared if the race resumed at 1 a.m.! Because Nascar fans are loyal like that.

Fans waited all year for the so-called Super Bowl of Racing. They deserved the right to see a real ending to what used to be the greatest race ever.

Would the NFL ever stop the Super Bowl after 3 QUARtErs? NO!!! Heck, Nascar could have rUn the remaining laps early Monday morning.

And you know what? The fans would have welcomed that fan friendly gesture. It’s a lot better than packing up and going home after forking out big money for tickets.

I’ve been to races and waited 4-6 hours to complete the race because of rain. One in particular was at Talladega back in the mid 90’s. I waited forever for that race to restart, and I’m glad I did.

That race finish ended up being one of the most memorable of any of the races I’ve ever attended, and I’ve been to plenty.

The Daytona 500 is the Nascar fan’s yearly pilgrimage, and some mark their calendArs off day by day waiting and planning for this special event all year long.

They save money and make huge sacrifices to attend the race. Some fans spend all weekend camping out, anxiously awaiting the race.

They endure all the pre-race waste of time entertainment! If Nascar would’ve started the race earlier, instead of 3 p.m. (By the way, the race used to start at noon), then they would have had plenty of time to get the race in.

Hey, I have an idea, let all those people sing after the race. Because all those entertainers wouldn’t get paid until after the race was over. You think a race would ever get called early again? Call it a little reverse psychology for the money-hungry hounds of Nascar.

As it stands, all the loyal fans got so hyped up only to have such an anti-climatic ending. The fans got duped! We get some rain sprinkles, and a guy that led only one lap wins the race. What a crock!

If the race would have resumed when the track was dry, and it was dry at 8:30 p.m., then we might have seen another more deserving race driver win, like Mark Martin or Kevin Harvick. We always want to see a exciting finish, and it didn’t happen. We’re Nascar fans, not Nascar Executives!

This sport is becoming about as real as WWE! It’s all just smoke and mirrors. I would love to see NASCAR FANS go on strike!

Maybe, then, and only then when Nascar is gasping for air because of money problems, would they possibly become more fan friendly. As it stands, Nascar got paid, but the fans didn’t!

"We the fans" should speak up. If we don’t, we will always be tricked into thinking Nascar is fan friendly (haha). When the only truth is, Nascar is money friendly, and that’s it! Yeah, take the money and run!

Anyway, I was looking forward to the beginning of the new season, and I love the Daytona 500. Now, I’m seriously disappointed in Nascar’s lack of respect and sensitivity for the most loyal and dedicated fans of any sport, The Nascar Fan!

Baseball and "The Fan"

Charles Asbury — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 14:06:23 -0500

Everyone seems to be a fan of something. Just ask any NASCAR enthusiast who their favorite driver is and you’ll get an immediate answer.

A devotee of college football will proudly wear their favorite colors and loudly sing the team fight song.

But for some, it goes deeper than that.

Yes, some appreciate and even love a particular sport. For me, I proudly wear "The Fan" label for what I believe is still America’s greatest pastime, Baseball.

I’m a fan of the game, and these are some of the reasons why.

When I was a little kid, and against my mother’s will, I would listen to the Atlanta Braves’ games underneath the covers with my little AM Radio. With the single ear piece in, I would either listen until the last pitch, or fall asleep trying.

Night after night, and many miles away, that little boy would quietly root for his favorite team. Even though my alarm clock never showed me any compassion the next morning at 6 AM, it never once stopped my nightly ritual of being "The Fan."

Staying up until 1 AM to hear your favorite team lose, which in those days wasn’t uncommon, is just one example of being "The Fan."

As a matter of fact it might even be considered borderline fanatic, which in fact is the word in which "Fan" is derived.

Sometimes it’s not too cool to be a fanatic, but when it comes to sports people don’t think twice about it.

Who can paint their face, make a total spectacle of themselves, and get away with it? Only "The Fan."

As a fan of baseball, day after day, I would memorize the sports page and could zealously quote player statistics at random.

And of course, I would save some of my lunch money to buy and collect baseball cards.

I would also methodically cut out the box scores, game recaps, and any relevant pictures to make a scrapbook of my favorite team. A practice started every spring training which marched on through the entire season.

I played my favorite sport from the age of four and would walk, talk, and try my best to emulate my favorite player. Many times at dusk, my mother would yell, "Supper is ready," but in the midst of my favorite childhood fantasy, I would throw the baseball up in the air one more time, trying to send it sailing over the azalea plants for the game-winning home run.

In my mind, I was living a dream that only a few can understand.

It’s all about baseball, and I am "The Fan."

Listening to a game on the radio, watching it on TV, or experiencing it in person were distinctly different, yet each one complete and satisfying in it’s own way. You see, "The Fan"relishes the special enjoyment of each memory, and I’ll leave you with a few of mine.

A long time ago, summertime Saturday afternoons were spent watching the Chicago Cubs play on TV with my grandfather. Old Polaroid pictures remind me of the father and son trip from Florida to Atlanta, to watch the Braves play the Dodgers.

Then, while stationed in England, baseball held my attention, time after time, while this proud father rocked his little baby girl to sleep. In the fall of 1991, while stationed in Saudi Arabia, I never thought twice about staying up until three in the morning to watch the Atlanta Braves make their dramatic run from worst to first.

And now I can see the twinkle in my son’s eyes as he opens up a fresh pack of baseball cards.

All of these memories, and many more, are written on the tablature of my heart. Immortal, they move the soul. They deepen my love for the game of baseball, and help define this person I’ve become, "The Fan."

By: Charles J Asbury II

"The Florida Writer" www.flawriter.com

Destiny Belongs To The Miami Dolphins

Charles Asbury — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 12:43:37 -0500

How many times this year have you heard players and coaches using this comment: "We're in control of our own destiny." Time after time, interview after interview, they insisted on saying the same thing over and over.

But any owner of a basic dictionary knew it wasn't true.

According to Webster's New World Dictionary, destiny is: The seemingly inevitable or necessary succession of events. What will necessarily happen to any person or thing (one's) fate. That which determines events: said of either a supernatural agency or necessity—SYN, Fate.

Your destiny is already predetermined; it's decided by a higher authority.

On Sunday, the Dolphins' destiny was winning the AFC East Title. But who would have guessed that way back in the preseason.

First off, there was a quarterback shuffle in Green Bay. Aaron Rodgers and the Packers said good-bye to Brett Favre. It appeared early on that the gamble might pay off. Rodgers and the Packers started off okay, but as destiny would have it, it wasn't to be. The Packers finished 3rd in the NFC North, at 6-10. No playoffs and certainly no improvement from last year.

Flash back again. Brett Favre heads east, takes over the steering wheel in New York, and Chad Pennington says good-bye to the Jets. It seemed at midseason that Favre and the Jets were destined to make the playoffs.

As destiny would have it, the ending of this story all came down to one game.

That game was between the Miami Dolphins and the New York Jets. Brett Favre and the Jets had to beat the Miami Dolphins and Chad Pennington to make the playoffs. It wasn't to be.

The Dolphins won 24-17, leaving the Jets 9-7 and headed home for good. No playoffs, no happy endings, and hopefully no more wrangler commercials with Brett Favre for awhile.

I'm not hating on Brett; he's been my favorite QB for a long time, but it wasn't his time to shine. And destiny had its way, because Chad Pennington ended up leading the Miami Dolphins to a division title, and the playoffs.

Earlier this season, I wrote an article entitled, "Are the Dolphins back?" I knew that the Dolphins were a special team then, and now they are headed to the playoffs for the first time since 2001. Bill Parcells has turned that entire organization around in one year.

In his new role as V.P. of Operations, the Big Tuna quickly enticed G.M. Jeff Ireland to join the show, who in turn hired 29 new players. Parcells then went shopping for a new coach. Tony Sparano got the gig, and since that moment, the Dolphins have never looked back. Parcells did it with the Patriots, Giants, Jets, Cowboys, and now with the Dolphins.

The season started out for three teams like some low budget NFL soap opera. One QB here, the whining, another QB there, the interviews; and in the meantime, Chad Pennington just hanged low and put in solid performances every week.

The events leading up to this climatic ending couldn't have played out any better. Like dominos falling in rapid succession, the last one has just hit the table.

And now it all makes sense, because destiny belongs to the Dolphins.

The Ugly Hall of Fame, 2008: Athletes, Coaches, and Commentators Who Scare Us

Charles Asbury — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 02:44:00 -0500

The year 2008, is coming to a close, and it’s time for the Ugly Hall of Fame. This list includes athletes, coaches, and commentators that have the potential to scare any of us. After the long hard process of testing and selecting, we have finally brought the selection down to a small list. More like the FBI’s most wanted. At times, we tested the pictures by showing them to young children, and then selected each picture according to the loudest yell by the unlucky participates. We took careful notes , and analyzed all the information while shuddering with extreme fear. Some of the pictures caused violent reactions, and even convulsions. We even showed some elderly people the pictures, but this caused one person to grab their chest and drop dead after seeing a picture of Marshawn Lynch. We realized that this project might be more than we could handle. But we pressed on despite the disgust, terror and repugnance. This job isn’t cool, but someone has to do it. Fighting off a fits of extreme nervousness, panic, depression, revulsion, etc., we finally finished this awful task. I wouldn’t recommend looking at any of these picture if you have a history of heart problems. Please don’t buy any Fat Head replicas of these individuals either. It could cause serious problems if you woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and saw these hideous creatures lurking in the shadows. These pictures are no joke, so please use extreme caution when viewing this slide show, and make sure all your lights are on as well. Get ready for the most horrific journey you will ever take. Each step you take just might be your last, so be careful, don't be scared & don't stop until you get to the end! !!!! SCARED YET !!!! By: Charles J Asbury II

Begin Slideshow

Dear Santa, All I Want For Christmas Is Danica Patrick

Charles Asbury — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 11:35:47 -0500

I’m pretty sure Santa reads "The Bleacher Report" because he’s cool like that, so here goes.

Santa do you like Auto Racing? You just seem like the type. I know you probably do donuts in the snow with your sleigh sometimes. I’m sure you could climb any fence you feel like, when you’re feeling victorious, like Tony Stewart does. Santa, I wouldn’t doubt it if you do back flips once in awhile too, like Carl Edwards does after he wins all those races.

By the way Santa, you really need to check your list three times this year, because I think Carl Edwards cheats. Santa you probably get home after staying out all night on Christmas Eve, shake up a bottle of bubbly and spray it all over your elf crew, like you’re in victory lane or something. You know you do!

Anyways Big Red, since you’re so cool and everything, I was wondering if you could hook me up this year. I was wondering if you could bring Danica Patrick to Nascar. It gives me somebody to pull for when Dale Jr. is running in the back of the pack.

So do you know her Santa? She’s the girl that during her Indy Car Series 2005 debut year, she won the Indy Car Rookie of the Year, Indy 500 Rookie of the Year, and Indy Car Most Popular Driver award. She then recaptured the title of Indy Car Most Popular Driver during 2006 and 2007. In her first three seasons of Indy Car Series racing, she started 47 times, won 3 poles, and finished in the top ten 23 times.

In 2005, she finished in 12th place overall, in 2006, 9th overall, and in 2007, finished 7th overall. She appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated June 6, 2005 , becoming the first Indy 500 driver on the cover since 1987. The she did it again May 19, 2008. In April of this year, she became the first woman ever to win an Indy car race, defeating a two-time Indy 500 champion by six seconds in the Japan 300.

Santa, you know you own the S.I. issue with her in it. Don’t worry I won’t tell Mrs. C., but you need to keep reading. I’ll leave some massive sized cookies out I promise. Heck, I’ll leave caviar out if that helps. Truth is, I’ll probably be grilling steaks if I know ya’ll are coming.

Hear my plea Santa, because Nascar could use a shot in the arm. The "Race for the Chase" was so boring this year. It would be different with Danica Patrick. She would add spice to an otherwise lame attraction. Check your list Santa, I’ve been pretty nice lately. Right?

During her Indy Car Series 2005 debut year, she won the Indy Car Rookie of the Year, Indy 500 Rookie of the Year, and Indy Car Most Popular Driver award. She then recaptured the title of Indy Car Most Popular Driver during 2006 and 2007. In her first three seasons of Indy Car Series racing, she started 47 times, won three poles, and finished in the top ten 23 times.

I’ll leave the light on for you Big Guy. Be careful up there. Watch out for wind sheers, and stuff. I know you can’t draft off anybody, but try and hurry. Nascar can’t wait any longer, and neither can I. Maybe you should let Danica drive. ho ho ho Merry Christmas Nascar and Danica Patrick Fans. - C

Call 911, The Jacksonville Jaguars Have Gone Into Cardiac Arrest

Charles Asbury — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 13:37:25 -0500

It’s safe to say that the Jacksonville Jaguars need some serious help, but what is really the answer for this sick team? Do they need a new head coach? A new defensive coordinator, as rumored? Or a new defense, period! Maybe a more consistent Quarterback might help some.

Hey, how about more depth in the receiving class. They have to be Jonesing for something, now that Matt the crack head Jones is gone, and Jerry Porter is on Injured Reserve. What a waste Porter has been , costing the Jaguars approximately $1 million dollars per catch, after making 11 catches all year, but was paid $10 million just to sign on the dotted line before the season even started.

Anyways, there are plenty of areas to address with this team, but I want to try and break it down, one section at a time. The first, but not necessarily the most important, will be the running backs, or lack there of. I’ll tackle the other problems later.

One of the areas that Jacksonville needs help, is at the running back position. I’m not suggesting that they get rid of Maurice Jones-Drew. Drew in my opinion is one of the elite running backs in the league. Jones-Drew leads Jacksonville in rushing, ranks second in receptions and is one of the league’s top scoring threats. He has 14 touchdowns in as many games this season, 40 in his three-year career and hasn’t missed a single game because of injury. And for $445,000, he’s a steal.

What I am suggesting, is that Jacksonville get Jones-Drew some help. I’m proposing a duel threat, such as the type that the Carolina Panthers present each and every game. The old one-two knockout combination called DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart.

I have always loved Fred Taylor. His work ethics are unmatched, and he’s also just a great guy. The Ex-Florida Gator, is 16th on the NFL’s all-time rushing list with 11,271 yards, 81 behind John Riggins. He had 556 yards on the ground this season, splitting time with Maurice Jones-Drew, and averaged a career-low 3.9 yards a carry behind an injury-riddled offensive line.

Taylor was a first-round draft pick from 1998 who has played his entire career in Jacksonville. I hate to see him go. But that day has come. Lets face something right now, Freddy T has probably played his last game for Jacksonville. On Thursday, Taylor was placed on injured reserve because of a thumb injury, ending his season with three games left and questions about his future with the franchise are flying rampant.

Taylor has said as recent as two weeks ago, that he never wants to leave Jacksonville. But with a $6 million dollar check due next year, it’s likely that Taylor is gone. Taylor did say that he would consider staying for a reduced rate. But just how much reduction in pay is he willing to take? I’m telling you, the Jaguars won’t pay him anywhere near $6 fat ones for a part-time player.

So, the Jags need a second productive running to help Marice-Jones-Drew. The answer is not Chauncey Washington or Alvin Pearman. The question might remain unanswered until the 2009 draft. There are plenty of good running backs coming out of college this year and the Jags should take their sweet time before making any selection.

No need to rush now Jacksonville, because one thing is for certain, you’ll be watching the playoffs from your sofa this year. So take it easy, and think about the wasted year, and why it all went wrong. Make a list, and check it twice, because the crew you got now won’t suffice. Take a look down south, and check out what Big Tuna has done. And maybe one day, you too can make a run. But for now, just take your medicine.

"The Florida Writer" at http://flawriter.com

"The Florida Writer Sports Blog" at http://flawriter.com/blog

Flying Under The Ray-Dar, Like A Tampa Bay Ray

Charles Asbury — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 13:19:51 -0500

Another day passes, and still no big news about the Tampa Bay Rays. As a Rays fan, it bothers me sometimes, how we never get substantial press coverage. What do we need to do, to get the respect, and attention we so rightfully deserve? We’ve answered our critics with victories, but our success falls on deaf ears. Keep reading…

No large fan base, not a problem, we’ll go from worst to first in one year and win our division. Still no respect, not a problem, lets win the national league pennant as well. Still no attention, how about making the Big Show, better known as the World Series. We’ll even throw in “Rookie of the Year” a “Golden Glove” winner, “Manager of the Year,” and the “Conigliaro Award,” as well.

Check out that resume, and get back with me!

I’ve listened to sports announcers, surfed the networks, read the blogs, and two months after the World Series, the Rays still aren’’t getting their due. Granted, with all the money flying around this off season, what’s to be expected? With big deals like the ones that the New York Yankees consistently make, who really cares what the poor pitiful Rays are doing? Besides, the Rays organization is careful with their money. They have the least money to spend. That’s why every penny counts when going for the goods.

If you check out their pay scale, it’s second lowest in the MLB. But they still manage to produce an All Star lineup. These guys play because they love the game of baseball. Sounds like “Old School” baseball huh? The kind of baseball that made it “America’s Favorite Pastime.” The way it used to be.

Can’t even the older loyal baseball fans hear my plea? Maybe I should launch into that old song entitled, “Baby Come Back.” With the words growing louder when I sing, “Any kind of fool could see…”

Forget the lame attention that the Tampa Bay Rays aren't getting. They are still quietly, and methodically making huge off season acquisitions. As noted in “The Florida Writer” sister site blog at http://flawriter.com/blog, the Rays have recently acquired Matt Joyce from the Detroit Tigers for Edwin Jackson.

Joyce has the power that the Rays desperately needed. Last year during his rookie season, the 24-year-old hit five home runs in his first 13 games. He was the 12th round pick in 2005 and finished with a .252 batting average, 12 home runs, and 33 runs batted in during 92 games.

Although his average could be higher, most and I said most, players increase the average with some hard work and more playing time. The Tampa native played 60 of his 85 games in left field for the Tigers. In the minors, he has played the majority of his time in right. That’s where he will most likely play for the Rays.

Don’t even think the Rays are finished either. They are still seeking a power DH in the lineup. It’s been confirmed that meetings have also taken place with Milton Bradley, Jason Giambi, Bobby Abreu, Jerry Hermida, Rick Ankiel, Rick Nelson, Nelson Cruz, and yes, even Ken Griffey, Jr.

As noted on my site, I hope they go after Milton Bradley. Last year’s stellar performance proves he’s worth the bait. You can’t go wrong with this kid. Anyways, how can you go wrong with a name like Milton Bradley. Doesn’t’ some toy company named Milton Bradley make the infamous, every kid’s dream, tuff, TONKA TRUCK? Case Closed!

Maybe, no attention is a good thing. I worked for a Fire Chief once, that always used to say, “Out of Sight, Out of Mind.” Point being, you do what you gotta do, hang low, stay out of trouble, and eventually you will reach your full potential. And in the process, earn the respect of you’re peers.

And, I get it now! Because when you're always on top, and in the spotlight like the New York Yankees, your cover is blown, and it’s easier to pick you off. Thanks Chief.

So the Tampa Bay Organization is silently acting like a true Ray. Sneaking up on the prize, and then capturing it’s prey. Ever so quietly making it’s way through the sea of no respect. Going unnoticed, until the notice is served. Making it’s way up from the depths of utter isolation, only to break the surface in early spring, where spectators can gaze in wonder and amazement at the future ruler of the MLB.

Has this article gotten your attention? If not, don't worry, we will get your attention and respect, one way or another! In the meantime, we’ll be hanging low, and flying under the Ray-Dar, because that’s how we do it in Tampa Bay.

"The Florida Writer" - http://flawriter.com

"The Florida Writer Sports Blog" - http://flawriter.com/blog

What Songs from the 1980s Are NFL Players and Fans Listening To?

Charles Asbury — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:45:07 -0500

Here are just a few '80s songs that NFL teams, players, or fans might or might not listen to:

1) The Miami Dolphins: After going 1-15 last year and taking so many shots from the media, now currently 9-5, and leading their division, the Phins might wanna listen to “We’re not gonna take it” by Twisted Sister.

2) Matt Jones, Ex-Jacksonville Jaguar and Rehab Candidate: “Flying High Again”, by Ozzie Osborne.

3) After Matt was released by the Jaguars, I’m sure he must of listened to another Ozzie song, “Mama I’m Coming Home.”

4) Terrell Owens - after Tony Romo doesn’t throw him enough passes - What About Me? - Moving Pictures

5) Tony Romo - Listens to “She’s Got Looks That Kill”, by Motley Crue, while thinking of Jessica Simpson.

6) Tony Romo also listens to Poison, “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” while thinking of T.O.

7) With all the drama in Dallas, This is for the entire Dallas Cowboy Organization - “One Thing Leads To Another” - The Fixx.

8 ) Every time DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart from Carolina touch the ball. “The Youth Gone Wild” - Skid Row.

9) Adrian Peterson - The League’s Leading Rusher - “I Ran” - Flock of Seagulls.

10) Drew Brees - League’s Leading Passer - “In the Air Tonight” - Phil Collins.

11) Andre Johnson - League’s Leading Receiver - “You Dropped The Bomb On Me” - Gap Band.

12) Morten Andersen the oldest active NFL player at age 44 - “The Old Man Down The Road” by John Fogerty or “Touch of Grey” - Grateful Dead

13) 0-14, Detroit Lion's Head Coach Rod Marinelli - “The Heat Is On” - Glenn Frey.

14) All the 0-14, Detroit Lion Fans - “Patience” - Guns N’ Roses.

15) The one song always played in the locker room of any opposing team before they play the winless Lions - “Take It Easy On Me” - Little River Band.

16) Any NFL Wild Card Team left hoping for a playoff spot- “Livin’ on a Prayer” - Bon Jovi.

17) For all those poor innocent NFL players included in the steroid accusations this year - “I Beg Your Pardon” - Kon Kan.

18) And last but not least, Remember the whole QB controversy in Green Bay at the beginning of the season? So when Green Bay Packer QB Aaron Rogers gets a music playing Christmas Card with tickets to watch the Jets play in the AFC playoffs, there will be no need for a signature, just a song called “The Boy from New York City” by the Manhattan Transfer.

Maybe his secret admirer’s No. 4 on the inside cover of the card will clue him in. Merry Christmas.

By: Charles J Asbury II

"The Florida Writer" at http://flawriter.com

"The Florida Writer Sports Blog" at http://flawriter.com/blog

Are The Miami Dolphins Back?

Charles Asbury — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 12:40:00 -0500

Last year, at this time, the Dolphins were 0-13. Flash-forward one year, and the Tuna Fish are 9-5. Is this team, and it’s turnaround, another product of the football savior, Bill Parcells?

In the past, Bill Parcells has taken teams and transformed them into winners. The Giants, Patriots, Jets, and Cowboys all excelled under the grumpy old coach.

In his new role as V.P. of Operations, Big P., quickly enticed G.M. Jeff Ireland to join the show, who in turn hired 29 new players. Parcells then went shopping for a new coach. Tony Sparano got the gig, and since that moment, this Dolphin show finally has more fans at their home games than Marine land has on any hot summer day.

Tony Sparano is the Dolphin’s fifth coach in as many years and could possibly end up being selected "Coach of the Year. And although Parcells’ primary role is obviously personnel decisions, he still offers his coaches tips on things he sees on film, in practice, or even in warmups.

While they do have the luxury of a soft schedule this year, right now, the Dolphins are tied with the Patriots and Jets for first place in the AFC East, and if they sweep their final three games, they’re in the playoffs for the first time since 2001. They also could become the first team to win ten games after going 1-15 the previous year.

After Kansas City, Ex-Jet Coach Parcells and Ex-Jet QB Chad Pennington, will face the New York Jets for their final game. It should be a Barn Burner!

While never being a huge fan of Big Tuna, I must give props where they’re due. So good job ole Sour Face, and can you please help out the Jacksonville Jaguars next?

By: Charles J Asbury II

"The Florida Writer" at http://flawriter.com

Is Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Becoming Another Kyle Petty?

Charles Asbury — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 15:22:12 -0500

As a Dale Jr fan, this past year in Nascar was disappointing and boring to say the least. Towards the end of the year, I began to wonder is Dale Earnhardt Jr becoming another Kyle Petty?

At some point in his career, Kyle Petty became no threat to race leaders and seemed content to float at the back of the pack almost every race. He would basically drive around the track advertising for whatever company would sponsor him. I could never understand how Petty fans could get so excited when their driver raced past them in the stands, because he was usually in last place.

I mean what’s the point of racing? To win right? Seriously, were they yelling because they really liked the sponsor. Just Kidding. Of course not, but seriously, Go Wells Fargo Go. I mean, I know Petty has a huge following because of his father and so does Dale Jr, and that’s where I’m heading with this.

Lots of the money that NASCAR drivers make are from endorsements, and Jr is making his fair share. The problem is, that when a person becomes content with the other cash they are making, which in some cases is a lot more than from racing, they become satisfied with that income and hang back in most races.

Remember Rusty Wallace? He basically was in charge of advertising for Miller Lite. That’s it! He got to the point where he never won races anymore, and didn’t seem to be bothered by it either. But he always pulled out his long thank you list after the race, and got those brownie points. Of course he got paid, and Miller Lite got noticed as well.

He probably said, “You give me a car to drive and I’ll hook you up on T.V. after the race, I promise.” And his fans say “No problem, Rusty, I’ll drink a 12 pack just so I can forget you’re my sorry driver.”

At times this past year it felt as though Dale Jr had lost something. I know he didn’t lose his talent. He is the most talented driver out there, right beside Johnson and Gordon. It’s in his genes. Just like Kyle Petty, Jr got it from his dad. I just hope Jr isn’t losing the desire to win. His dad never lost the desire to win, and his dad made huge jack off endorsements. But Earnheart Sr never, never, NEVER stopped wanting to win.

So what if Dale Jr starts driving a car that is poop brown and gets a sponsor like Tidy Bowl. Would people still cheer for him, even if he never won. I pull for Jr., but a brown car? And I wouldn’t wear a Tidy Bowl hat either, unless he won of course. I mean in Nascar, winning is everything to the fans.

Hey, we spend three hours or more watching those guys go a round and round, until we’re cross eyed, at least they can do is win sometimes. I mean we’re all getting brain damage listening to Ned Jarred talk us through the race, so please give us something. Darrell Waltrip, I don’t care if so-and-so’s car is drifting, so is my attention span. Just win Jr.!!!

Anyway, I hope Jr never becomes totally satisfied with money from his Wrangler commercials. I hope he drinks more AMP! Maybe then he will get a serious rush and feel like winning sometimes. Heck, take a Viagra if you need to. I wouldn’t even mind if Jr drove the Viagra car, as long as he wins sometimes. Just don’t except me to wear a Viagra hat.

The Tampa Bay Rays Go Christmas Shopping

Charles Asbury — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 09:52:58 -0500

The Tampa Bay Rays make a move and acquire Matt Joyce from the Detroit Tigers for Edwin Jackson.

Joyce has the power that the Rays were seeking. Last year during his rookie season, the 24-year-old hit five home runs in his first 13 games. He was the 12th round pick in 2005 and finished with a .252 batting average, 12 home runs, and 33 RBI during 92 games.

Although his batting average could be higher, most and I said most, players increase the average with some hard work and more playing time. The Tampa native played 60 of his 85 games in left field for the Tigers. In the minors, he has played the majority of his time in right. That’s where he will most likely play for the Rays.

Hopefully the Rays aren’t finished yet. They still need a power DH in the lineup. The Rays have confirmed meeting with Milton Bradley, Jason Giambi, Bobby Abreu, Jerry Hermida, Rick Ankiel, Rick Nelson, Nelson Cruz, and yes even Ken Griffey Jr.

I hope they go after Milton Bradley. This guy is young and stacked with raw power. If you’ve ever seen him bat, he is so intense, the way he takes each and every at-bat so serious. I would always feel comfortable with two outs and the score tied in the bottom of the ninth knowing Milton was coming up.

So come on Rays, and just pull the trigger on this kid. How can you go wrong with a name like Milton Bradley. By the way, doesn’t some toy company named Milton Bradley make the infamous TONKA TRUCK? Case Closed!!!

Can Percy Come out and Play? Harvin's Return for Championship a Coup for Gators

Charles Asbury — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:49:46 -0500

The word is out: Florida Gator Percy Harvin will play in the BCS national championship against Oklahoma.

A healthy Harvin will, of course, have a tremendous impact on the outcome of the big game. Many people focus on his raw explosive talent, and they should, but the biggest aspect of a healthy Harvin might just be his ability to draw attention as a decoy. Tim Tebow and the Gators can win the championship without getting the ball to the talented wide receiver one single time.

Florida truly did miss Harvin in the SEC championship game. Heck, it might of been 41-20 if he was playing. But, as we saw in that game, the Gators have an arsenal of offensive weapons always on standby.

No team can afford to shun the likes of Tebow, Jeffrey Demps, and Chris Rainey. And how can you come up with an effective game plan that realistically covers those guys and then Riley Cooper, David Nelson, Brandon James, and Emmanuel James, as well? The answer is you probably can’t!

I would like to throw another nuke at you while we’re talking great players; his name is Aaron Hernandez. This guy is off the charts with talent. If there is one guy that the Sooners should watch, it’s Hernandez.

Of course, any great coach like Bob Stoops will naturally try and formulate some plan to contain the highly potent Gators. Truthfully, I’d rather be in Urban Meyer's shoes because Florida has the ability to get you off-balance and then knock you out. Sometimes all you can do is try and hold on like some tired boxer getting beat down in the corner while the crowd yells..."knock em out, knock em out." Yeah, the Gators do float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.

Now back to Harvin, who might be the most entertaining college football player ever to play at the University of Florida. Nobody gets the fans out of their seats like this guy. He has the ability to make tacklers look silly with his nasty jukes; as they try and bring him down, then he turns on the jets and is gone. I mean, GONE! Just like coach Meyer has said many times this year, Harvin has the best first step in college football. And second step, and third step, and...you get the picture.

So will they get him the ball? I think we all know that answer. Of course they will! Some coach up in the box, high above the playing field, will see some situation developing each and every play, until the call is made.

The obvious conversation will go something like this. “It’s time.” That’s all that he will need to say. “It’s time.” And the next play, Tebow will be looking downfield for the Heisman that could've been. If those two hook up, watch out, because “he-could-go-all-the-way!!!”

Coach Stoops has his hands full the next couple of weeks trying to come up with some sort of plan to deal with the feisty Florida bunch, but his hardest job of all will be trying to sell it to his own team. If those Sooner players watched any Gator games this year, or ESPN highlights, they must be reeling with anxiety at this point.

But, if there is one team that can possibly upset the Gators, it’s the Sooners. Why? Because Bob Stoops used to be the defensive coordinator for the Florida Gators. Just thought I’d throw that out there! Whatever the outcome, the national championship will no doubt be one heck of a shootout.