Bleacher Report - Articles by Norm DePlume

WVU News: Rich Rodriguez Denies Cookie Theft Involvement

Norm DePlume — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:14:14 -0500

Dateline, ANN ARBOR, January 30, 2008.

RODRIGUEZ DENIES MOTHER’S ACCUSATIONS OF COOKIE THEFT—Says Hand in Cookie Jar Was “Mere Coincidence”

New Michigan football coach Rich Rodriguez denied reports today that his mother found him stealing cookies from a jar in her kitchen.

Arlene Rodriguez said she found the former WVU head coach with his hand “up to his elbow” in a glass jar of coconut-chocolate chip cookies with "brown smudges on his chin.” The younger Rodriguez said the accusations are a smear campaign.

“I made three dozen of those cookies just the night before, but after Rich scurried away when I surprised him, I counted only twenty-four,” said the Rodriguez matriarch. “What happened to the other twelve?”

The accusations first appeared in a story Wednesday in the Home and Hearth section of the Charleston (WV) Gazette.

Rodriguez broke his silence in an interview with the Toledo Bee-Sentinel and attributed the reports to jealous rivals.

“Look at the timing. All this nonsense comes right in the middle of recruiting season, when I have to go into kids’ homes and talk to their parents. And now their moms have to worry about leaving me alone near the kitchen? That’s not right. And furthermore, why would I snack? Anyone who has followed my career knows that I like to stay hungry, stay humble.”

Rodriguez’ agent, Mike Brown, issued a press release asserting that the story was false and that the public should not pass judgment until all the facts are out.

Brown stated: "After all, how do we know that Coach Rodriguez ate the cookies just because he was the last person seen near them? He’s a hard worker, and those brown smudges on his face could have been from perspiration and the toil of a long day’s labor. And how do we know that the cookies are actually missing. And just who is this 'Arlene' woman and what is her agenda?”

Brown suggested the story was planted by West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin, WVU President Mike Garrison, WVU Athletic Direct Ed Pastilong, WVU Mascot Gregory Foster, WVU Student Union night janitor Purvis Steele, 9-year old Mountaineer fan Jimmy Potts, and his dog Skippy.

ESPN.com featured Brown’s release in a story entitled “West Virginia Picking on Rodriguez Again,” which appeared just above a column lauding SEC football dominance and an editorial calling for more institutional oversight over major college athletics.

Don Nehlen, Rich Rodriguez to Promote Former Friends of Coal Bowl

Norm DePlume — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:38:42 -0500

Dateline, Ann Arbor, December 21, 2007: NEHLEN, RODRIGUEZ TO PROMOTE FORMER FRIENDS OF COAL BOWL

Former West Virginia football coaches Don Nehlen and Rich Rodriguez have been tabbed to promote the inaugural Former Friends of Coal Bowl, otherwise known as the University of Michigan spring scrimmage. FFCB spokesman Dan Amapit said the two were “uniquely qualified to represent this new sporting event.”

Rodriguez recently left WVU to take the head coaching position at UM, greatly upsetting residents of his coal-rich home state.

Nehlen, an Ohio native who preceded Rodriguez as head Mountaineer footballer, was warmly embraced by the Appalachian people during his two-decade tenure, which led to a two-year stint as spokesman of the Friends of Coal Bowl, as the WVU-Marshall rivalry game was known.

Once Rodriguez abruptly abandoned his native post to fill the vacancy in Ann Arbor and Nehlen shocked his adopted home and spurned his neighbors to publicly support his protégé, the two immediately became ineligible for association with the FOCB.

In stepped corporate sponsors Samsonite and Hallmark to reunite the pair in promotion of the annual Maize and Blue tussle.

“Nothing shows the need for a good set of Samsonite luggage like sneaking away in the dark of night, one step ahead of betrayed and vengeful neighbors,” said Samsonite Vice President Dick Turnkey. “Rich Rodriguez obviously is a natural fit for our company.”

Hallmark in turn was looking to promote its new line of whimsical “Screw You!” gag cards featuring tag lines such as “Sorry I let you down, loser,” “Bet you thought I was your friend, huh?” and “Psych!”

Hallmark representative Fred Pagemore said Nehlen proved himself worthy of the spokesmanship when he stunned the wholesome West Virginia righteous by proclaiming their inferiority to Michigan in news articles and sports broadcasts.

“When I saw him dissing the people who had just named a street after him, I thought, as he would put it, ‘Holy jumping catfish, that’s our man!’”

Nehlen, Rodriguez, and ex-WVU men’s basketball coach John Beilein all agreed that nothing helps you to appreciate a community and its people like fleeing the state knowing you can never set foot there again.

And the trio may have more company soon. Michigan Athletic Director Dick Martin explained with enthusiasm, “We couldn’t be more thrilled to have these ex-West Virginians representing our University, and by the time I’m done our next round of coach hiring, there will be a lot more Former Friends of Coal up here, too.”

Michigan News: Rich Rodriguez Skips Out on IHOP Tab

Norm DePlume — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:36:49 -0500

Weirton, WV, January 30, 2008

Former WVU football coach Rich Rodriguez reportedly walked out on his International House of Pancakes breakfast this morning in favor of a more substantial meal at a nearby Shoney's.

Local IHOP Manager Erv Puckman confirmed that the new Michigan coach arrived at 8:45 a.m., ordered several menu items, then dashed out shortly after 9:30 a.m.

“He was all smiles at first, but then he kept making demands that we tried to keep up with, and when we couldn’t give him everything he wanted, he’s like, ‘I’m outta here.’ I was kind of shocked," said Puckman.

Hostess Millie Packer said Rodriguez established an instant rapport with those around him, and his initial orders of savory bacon and piping hot buckwheat cakes were real crowd pleasers. Then, the former Mountaineer asked for extra syrup and some unsalted butter patties to take home for friends.

“We don’t normally do that kind of thing, but we wanted to keep him happy, so we did. Then he said he wanted hot fudge on his pancakes, but I told him our hot fudge machine doesn’t get turned on until lunch and it takes about 20 minutes to warm up. That’s when he got mad and started throwing other names around like Appleby’s, Shoney's, Bob’s Big Boy.”

Puckman added, “We can’t compete with those boys. They’ve got three times the waiting staff and enough equipment to cater a wedding. We’re just a small restaurant, and we do the best we can with what we’ve got.”

Rodriguez supporter Don Hemhaw defended the coach, saying, "Rich only came in because IHOP promised him a first-class breakfast. Well, they didn't deliver. Rich is a hungry guy. He stays hungry, and he stays humble."

First-year waitress Nancy Davis said the incident has destroyed her trust in morning customers. "When Coach Rodriguez came in, he looked me straight in the eye and said he wasn't leaving until every last biscuit got eaten. Fool that I am, I believed him."

Veteran waitress Kelly Dillon expressed no surprise. "I know this is a business, so I don't care what he does. If he's still eating at 9:30, I'm here. If he leaves, I'm still here. My shift doesn't end til 10:45."

A dispute remains as to whether Rodriguez owes the restaurant the $40 tab for the meal. Sources close to Rodriguez say he plans to contest the bill on the grounds of false inducement.

His agent, Mike Brown, said, "The menu clearly states 'Service with a Smile.' If Rich knew the service would be so poor, he never would have committed to the griddle cakes, let alone the scone and the three-cheese omelette."

IHOP officials contend they plan to insist that Rodriguez "pay every penny."

NCAA News: Michigan Planning to Acquire WVU's Woodburn Hall

Norm DePlume — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 13:52:43 -0500

Ann Arbor, January 30, 2008: MICHIGAN PLANNING TO ACQUIRE WOODBURN HALL

After hiring basketball coach John Beilin and football coach Rich Rodriguez from West Virginia University, Michigan is planning to acquire another venerable landmark from the Mountain State's flagship institution of higher learning: Woodburn Hall, the 19th century academic building considered the very heart of WVU's campus.

While Michigan officials refused to comment, reliable sources report that Woodburn Hall agreed to be transported brick by brick from Morgantown to Ann Arbor.

Nearby building Martin Hall looked surprised by the news, but the Mountainlair, WVU's student union that "never really got along with" Woodburn Hall, appeared relieved.

Woodburn Hall is to replace Michigan's Chrysler Tower, which served honorably for over three decades, but is being torn down next month.

Michigan officials have said the razing is a result of three decades of wear and tear, but it is widely speculated that the building's demise was also influenced by its dated 1970s retro look and its unprecedented string of four straight losses to Ohio State's Glieberman Library in the Big Ten Annual Campus Architecture Competition.

The loss of Woodburn Hall comes at a particularly inopportune time for WVU, not only coming on the heels of Michigan's luring of the two WVU coaches, but because the building recently received a $1.25 million upgrade consisting of a new roof, state of the art communications rewiring, and a coffee bar.

The building traditionally received routine maintenance, but a year ago, when the University of Florida offered to acquire Woodburn Circle to replace it's hurricane-damaged provost's building, WVU officials offered a sweetened infrastructure package to keep the century-old landmark.

The WVU community is mixed in its opinion of the news. Mark Smith, a grad student in forestry management originally from Poca, said, "I respect what Woodburn Circle has done for us over the years, so I can't really hold this against it. Michigan is a great place to be, and if good ol' Woody has decided to move on, I wish it well."

Peter Hutchison, a sophomore marketing major from Fairmont, had a different response.

"Woodburn Circle is nothing but kindling to me now. I had classes there for cryin' out loud, and I loved it, but if it ever shows its shingles around here again, so help me, God, I'll start a bonfire."

WVU President Mike Garrison had no comment on the loss of Rodriguez or the reported loss of Woodburn Hall, but he was seen meeting with the WVU Mountaineer mascot after sports blogs linked it to the open mascot position at the University of North Dakota, which recently announced plans to raise the profile of its athletic programs.