Bleacher Report - Articles by Steuart Martens

USC Vs. OSU, Worst Case USC Has the Hottest Cheerleaders

Steuart Martens — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 06:57:10 -0400

What could be better than having the number one ranked team in the country? Well I would have to say it would be having the hottest cheerleaders in the country. It doesn’t hurt that 90 percent of these girls are from ridiculously wealthy southern California families.

Erin Andrews (So HOT) Reports on Hurricane Ike for ESPN

Steuart Martens — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 06:12:19 -0400

Erin Andrews is getting lots of face time on camera these days—ESPN is promoting her to more primetime games and I think most of us know why! Andrews is reporting on the effects Ike has had on this weekends big games that have been postponed.

Want to See Notre Dame Football's 2008 Recruitment Video? (Humor)

Steuart Martens — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:54:36 -0400

Looking to go to Notre Dame? Watch this video on why you should apply. Join the most overrated group of alumni in the country, for only $36,000 a year. That works out to $12,000 per victory with last year's 3-9 record.

You may also see the video here.

Remembering Pat Tillman and Other Fallen Heros on Sept. 11

Steuart Martens — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:57:56 -0400

Pat Tillmam, a Corporal with the 2nd Ranger Battalion, lost his life on Apr. 22, 2004. Sept. 11 is a perfect time to pay tribute to his ultimate sacrifice, along with a few lesser-know former athletes.

Currently, we are fighting in a war that not all agree with. With that said, it is nice to see that 99.9% of our country respects soldiers like Tillman. Much has been talked about how he passed on a lucrative NFL contract with the Arizona Cardinals.

In May of 2002, Pat walked away from a three year, $3.6 million contract to join the Army. While it is very impressive to give all of that up, what made a greater impact on me was when Tillman walked away from his family and friends.

While Tillman is a great representation of those that have fallen, I would like to mention a few words on two former collegiate athletes.

On 9/11: A Salute to Athletes That Have Served

Steuart Martens — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:52:10 -0400

“Today, our nation saw evil, the very worst of human nature. And we responded with the best of America—with the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could.” Those were the words of President Bush seven years ago today.

And on a day that will forever be ingrained in the minds of Americans, InGameNow would like to salute the many athletes who have sacrificed and served for our United States of America.

This list definitely does not include all of these heros, but hopefully, everyone who reads this list will honor these individuals, along with the more unsung ones as well.

Read more about the athletes and their stories here: InGameNow

NFL Team Values Rise Along with Ticket Prices

Steuart Martens — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:06:30 -0400

Forbes has released their valuation of NFL teams, with the average team value now exceeding $1 billion! Also, to make NFL fans sick if they haven’t bought their single game tickets yet: on average tickets are up 8%.

I realize Forbes doesn’t value based on season outlook, but it’s kind of fun to take a look at it that way. The interesting part of the list is the first five teams is that only one is favored to go deep into the playoffs after Week One. The top five teams are:

See them here: InGameNow

Cincinnati Bengals' Chad Johnson Must Pay $4 Million to Sport "Ocho Cinco"

Steuart Martens — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:52:18 -0400

CNBC’s Darren Rovell has reported that Reebok asked Chad Ocho Cinco (formally Chad Johnson) to buy out 100,000 jerseys with his old name on them for $40 apiece. This equates to roughly 50 (Cinco Cero) million pesos, or $4 (Cero Cuatro) million.

It's crazy that Reebok pre-makes 100,000 jerseys. And worse, that someone in their right mind would buy a C. Johnson No. 85 jersey when they know it will soon read Ocho Cinco on his back.

It would be interesting to see someone like Nike or Adidas sign Ocho Cinco, and agree to buy out his jerseys. Let the bidding begin.

Read more here: InGameNow

Poor Affliction, I Thought I Got Fleeced in Vegas

Steuart Martens — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:05:58 -0400

Looks like someone did worse than me during my last trip to Vegas. And I wiped out a good portion of my bank account. But at least I came home with my shirt. Apparently the upstart MMA league Affliction wasn’t so lucky.

Who Has the Best Sports Facial Hair? You Decide!

Steuart Martens — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 06:07:01 -0400

Every person wants to be unique, and this goes for athletes, too. They can’t all look like Johnny Unitas with a clean-cut flattop that would make my grandfather proud:

So, if you don’t look like Johnny U, what do you do?

You enter the InGameNow Playoff for Best Sports Facial Hair!!

We have 4 Divisions:

The 'Stache Division

The Gotee Division

The coveted Full Beard Division

and the always exciting I Have No Idea How to Classify That Division

Each Division will get a Day to be decided with the top two vote getters, going on to the Semi-Finals! To Vote, log onto InGameNow, and post your vote on the Other page as linked below.

See more photos and read the rest: InGameNow

Liddell Vs. Silva in December?

Steuart Martens — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:36:21 -0400

That’s the latest rumor to come out of MMA land. Recently destroyed former champion and all around popular UFC fighter Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell is apparently going to be paired up with none other than current middleweight champion Anderson “The Spider” Silva at a UFC event in December. Liddell who is coming off having his clock rung by underdog Rashad Evans is currently looking at a career that is in tatters. Which is amazing when you consider Liddell was one of UFC’s most popular and dominant fighters less than 2 years ago. It all went wrong for Liddell when Rampage Jackson, late of Pride, came into the UFC light heavyweight division and landed a blow that sent Liddell reeling to the mat, and cost Chuck his title belt. He’s now 1-3 in his last 4 fights. All traces of the man who was a force in UFC are gone.

Perfect Seasons: 2007 New England Patriots vs. 1972 Miami Dolphins

Steuart Martens — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 07:38:45 -0400

With the New England Patriots’ Super Bowl hopes lying in shambles, along with Tom Brady lying in bed with a season-ending knee injury, Patriot fans are grasping at straws. They are claiming that, while they didn’t win the Super Bowl last season, they should in fact be considered the best team of all-time.

Read the story: InGameNow

Why the Washington Redskins Will WIN Super Bowl XLIII

Steuart Martens — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 07:07:30 -0400

Every time the Giants win the Super Bowl, the next year's winner is the Redskins!!!

Let me show you: Super Bowl XXI = Giants, Super Bowl XXII = Redskins!!!

Super Bowl XXV = Giants, Super Bowl XXVI = Redskins!!!

Super Bowl XLII = Giants, Super Bowl XLIII = ???

Theres more read it, click InGameNow

InGameNow

Vince Young on Suicide Watch: Tennesse Titans Call Nashville Cops

Steuart Martens — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 06:47:41 -0400

Reports are flying in that Vince Young is on suicide watch and it’s hit the radio and press...hell, the Tenneseee Titans even had a press release filed. Let's reviews:

1. Vince Young supposedly was talked out of retirement after his rookie year.
2. Vince Young didn’t want to return to the game this weekend...And was boo’ed by the stadium
3. V10 then injured his knee and was knocked out two to six weeks.

Read the rest here: InGameNow

Chicago Has Entered a Bizarro Universe

Steuart Martens — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 13:00:19 -0400

If Seinfeld has taught me anything, it is that a totally normal world can suddenly turn bizarro. Just as Jerry’s world was spun around, so too has Chicago's.

In analyzing Chicago sports, it is clear that something strange is going on. My conclusion is that Chicago is currently Bizarro Chicago.

Let me break it down for you.

Bizarro Cedric Benson is Matt Forte

Last season, Cedric Benson STUNK. In fact, his entire time in Chicago was horrible. After being drafted No. 4 overall in the NFL draft, Benson sat out for 36 days of camp. To sum up Benson’s playing, the world “bust” comes to mind.

Benson has had so many DUIs (both on land and water), that he now must drive a Blo-and-Go. He must breath into his car to prove his isn’t’ drunk before the car will start.

On the other hand, Matt Forte had an outstanding NFL debut for the Bears. He rushed 23 times for 123 yards and 1 TD. Forte is smart enough to keep his name out of the police blotter and is generally liked in the locker room.

Forte has been a great change of pace for the Bears backfield.

Bizarro Rex Grossman is Kyle Orton

Last season, Grossman opened the season with games of one, two, and three interceptions. The Bears started 1-2 and did not look good. This year, Orton played an average game against the Colts.

He was 13-21 with 150 yards, zero TDs and zero INTs. What people need to know is that a Bears QB playing average is unheard of. Usually, the roll of the Bears' QB is to ruin seasons.

Hopefully Orton will continue to be average this year and allow the Bears to win.

Bizarro 2007 Chicago bears D is the 2008 bears D

Chicago’s D finished 2007 ranked 28th in the league. They were injured and ineffective. Last night, the Bears brought back memories of the "Monsters of the Midway." Holding the Colts to 13 points and under 300 yards of total offense is impressive.

Best of all, Chicago scored on D (thanks to Lance Briggs). If Chicago hopes to make the Super Bowl, the D is going to have to continue in Bizarro world and score every week.

Bizarro MLB best Cubs are Cubs in September

The only bad part of bizarro Chicago is that the Cubs stink. Through August, the Cubs were the best team in baseball. Both their pitching and hitting were outstanding.

Then they entered Bizarro world and the wheels fell off. The Cubs dropped the last two games in August and have won ONCE in September. Cubs fans across the city are freaking out.

Who knows what is up next for Bizarro Chicago. One thing is for sure, though: Tonight, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a girl with man hands.

Vikings-Packers: Monday Night Football Betting Tips

Steuart Martens — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:09:42 -0400

The InGameNow team went 3-3 to start the NFL season in picking games against the spread. We were right on betting Atlanta, Favre (otherwise known as the Jets), and the New York Football Giants.

Did you have a bad weekend betting the NFL? Well, tonight gives you two chances to get it back. We have one game left this week that we feel is a safe bet. That game is going on Minnesota (+2.5) against Green Bay.

Why bet Minnesota?

Minnesota could have the best defense in the league. The pressure Aaron Rodgers is under is significantly greater than any other QB in the league. There is no way this untested neophyte will prevail on MNF.

As soon as Aaron throws his first pick, Wisconsin will be a state in a state of emergency. Bush should get the national guard in, ASAP. The Vikings will run for 175 yards, powered by AP.

So, long story short, if you are down money in Week One, you have no excuse not to get it back. Take the points and enjoy a great game.

Chad Ocho Cinco = Mucho Overrated

Steuart Martens — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 10:12:05 -0400

Ocho Lame-o’s numbers for the day:

REC YDS AVG LNG TD
1 22 22.0 22 0

Chad Johnson says Michael Phelps is overrated. I say he needs to step up his game in order to show a little value for Cincinnati. They aren’t a great team, one way or the other, but Chad could contribute by being an open man.

If I am Chad Johnson, I drop all this Ocho Cinco BS, concentrate on playing, and get open. The Bengals should trade him for a classy guy that they can grow into a valuable player who is team oriented and not only concerned about himself.

What are your thoughts?

InGameNow

Tom Brady Carried off Field with Knee Injury

Steuart Martens — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 06:57:14 -0400

Patriots fans gasp, "Say it ain't so!"

Tom Brady has just been carried off the field with a knee injury. As he stepped into a throw, he was hit with a helmet to the knee, and boom—Brady lay on the ground like Chuck Liddell: still and awaiting assistance.

This is not good news. There's more to come, but expect Matt Cassell to play the remainder of the game.

So, 16 games this year? I don't think so.

What do you think?: InGameNow

Jessica Simpson Pregnant With Tony Romo's Baby—Super Jinx

Steuart Martens — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 06:39:35 -0400

Rumors are swirling that, on the day of the Dallas Cowboys first NFL game in 2008, Jessica Simpson is pregnant with Tony Romo’s baby…officially creating the worst timed Cowboys jinx ever. After Jessica Simpson were carried by all opposing fans—the timing of Simpson’s pregnancy is quite bizarre and laughable (particularly for Eagles and Giants fans).

The rumor is very strong right now and it is the No. 1 search term on google:

Sadly, I drafted Tony Romo for my InGameNow fantasy football team, so I really am hoping that this is an Internet rumor and NOT a Super Jinx.

10 Reasons Why Redskins Fans Aren't Horny for Zorny

Steuart Martens — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 05:54:05 -0400

1) Complete prude when it came to play calling.

2) Jason Campbell’s performance was more ED than TD.

3) He was hired by the Skins official brothel owner Dan Snyder.

4) Let’s face it folks, there have been as much hope and disappointments as championships bought by throwing money at players, see: the Dallas Mavericks and Mark Cuban.

Money doesn’t buy the cohesiveness that Zorn needs, so he will be the first to go!

5) Zorny eats up the clock late in the fourth quarter when his team is behind! Ball on the 10 yard line, with a little over 6 minutes left in the game, what a perfect time for a 10 play, 58-yard drive that takes 4:10 off the clock and doesn’t end in a score.

Is Clinton Portis on your fantasy team?

It’s called urgency Zorn—like it’s urgent for you to update your resume if you continue to manage the clock like that.

6) He was totally “sandbagged” by the O line playing poorly and Campbell not playing at an NFL level.

7) Coached the whole game like we had a 30 point lead and was trying to get our punter to the Pro Bowl.

8) At least Jim Fassel isn’t running the team which makes us somewhat “excited.”

9) Talk about a bust, Jason Taylor had better moves on a show I am not admitting I watched this summer.

Zorn should put the team through dance class to get them faster on their feet.

10) Zorn relies on Vinny Cerrato who is coked up for Dan Snieder who has no business picking players in the NFL.

Open Challenge to Terrell Owens for 100 Meter Race

Steuart Martens — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 04:24:49 -0400

This week, Terrell Owens was quoted on HBO’s Hard Knocks as saying, “I Could Beat Usain Bolt If I Got a 20-Yard Head Start.” I am not impressed by this at all.

I hope an NFL pro-bowl wide receiver could beat Bolt in this race. What I would like to do now is make a challenge to TO.

I formally challenge TO to a race. I am a 30-year-old white kid who has run less than 100 miles in my life. To prove how weak TO’s claim is, I bet $25,000 that I can beat Terrell Owens in a 100 meter race, where I get a 20-meter head start.

My only stipulations are that:

1) the money goes to a charity of the winners choice and

2) the race happens after the NFL season (I don’t want to get an angry phone call from Jerry Jones wondering how his star receiver blew his hammy.)

Really, TO has nothing to worry about. He obviously has the coin to blow on this race. Plus, LeBron James, a much bigger sports star, lost to some shmoe in a game of horse. TO’s ego has nothing to worry about if/when I beat him.

Best of luck this season Terrell. I hope you stay healthy.

Sincerely,
Your friendly Ingamenow blogger

Breaking News: Barry Bonds Signs With Chicago Rec T-Ball League (Humor)

Steuart Martens — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:07:46 -0400

Read It All: InGameNow

Chicago, Illinois

Today, Barry Bonds signed an offer to finish the 2008 t-ball season with the Yankees of the Chicago Rec t-ball league. Amazingly, no t-ball team in the country had yet figured out Bonds still had one season of eligibility left. When he was just five years old, Bobby Bonds moved his son up to the live pitching league. The Chicago Yankees were sly enough to act on this unknown fact.

Bond’s agent, Jeff Borris, and Yankees coach/GM Doug Moore burned the midnight oil last evening, working out a deal. Borris was adamant that Bonds be given his own tee to hit off of.

Due to budget constraints, Coach Moore could not afford a tee solely for Bonds. The two worked out a compromise, where Bonds could have is favorite Kool-Aid flavor be the team drink after each game. Rumor has it, Ecto Cooler will be the new drink of choice for the Yankees.

While unavailable for comment, a source close to Bonds said he was thrilled to be back in baseball, and felt that winning a Championship with the Yankees would be the crown jewel of his outstanding career.

Notre Dame Football Sucks So Badly, Irish Are Researching Schadenfreude

Steuart Martens — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:36:38 -0400

How Do You Spell Schadenfreude? N-O-T-R-E-D-A-M-E

Barring some kind of water-into-wine-Touchdown-Jesus miracle, the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame are probably not going to see the 2008 National Championship game in football this year. That means their title-less streak will reach a nice round 20 years.

The last time they won was in 1988, when ESPN analyst and part-time magician Lou Holtz was at the helm.

According to this article, Bobby Burton of rivals.com cites the changing football landscape as part of the reason there has been no recent joy in South Bend, Indiana. He says with scholarships being cut from 105 in 1974 to 85 in 1994, “yesterday’s third-string quarterback at Notre Dame might be starting at Central Michigan or some other place.”

Yes. It’s not because they ran a coach who got off to a poor start out of town on a rail. It’s not because the current coach is a whiny jerk who isn’t as good as everybody thinks he is. I’m sure it’s because there used to be a plethora of quarterbacks good enough to start somewhere who were content to be third-string for Notre Dame, but now are actually going somewhere where they can play.

Murray Sperber, a professor from the University of California, Berkely blames the television coverage. “Greater TV coverage allowed more teams to compete nationally with Notre Dame for recruits.” Yes. The poor Irish haven’t won a title in 20 years because those pesky other schools are stealing their spotlight on television.

Former athletic director Kevin White has tried to remedy this by… (wait for it) softening the Notre Dame schedule. They start play this year against San Diego State and next year against Nevada. They also only play four road games next year. Four!

Wow. Must be nice to only have to go have four road games. I wonder what it’s like not to be tied down by the shackles of playing in a conference, and have your own contract with a major television network, and have more money from alumni than you could ever possibly know what to do with? Poor Notre Dame.

How do you spell National Championship? S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E.

First NCAA Games Are Done, Picks Results Here

Steuart Martens — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:21:09 -0400

It is only after one day, but what is the fun of making picks and getting them right unless you can rub it in the face of the losers!

One Good Reason You're Not Watching MLS SoccerS

Steuart Martens — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:05:43 -0400

I’ve seen it more times, the clock gets to 90:00, the injury time expires, the whistle is blown, the game is over…but the score is 0-0.

Every time someone around me who has never seen a game asks, “Don’t they go into overtime?” or “How do they break the tie?”

Michigan Wolverines Football's Best Moments in the Past 20 Years

Steuart Martens — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:47:41 -0400

Saturday starts what might be a tough season for us Wolverine fans. I wanted to take a few minutes and relive some of the amazing times we have had over the past 20 years. If you have other highlights you think should have made this list, post them here.

Anyway, to the moments, all with great videos here.

The 12 Baddest Flattops in All of Sports

Steuart Martens — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:43:06 -0400

Being a great athlete isn’t just about performance. It’s about attitude. And nothing tells the world just how badass you are than a perfectly sculpted flattop.

Yes, bald is beautiful. Mohawks saw a small surge in 2007. But nothing truly has the decades-long staying power of a buzz cut precise enough to set your watch to.

Read the whole story here:

http://blog.ingamenow.com/2008/08/27/the-12-most-badass-flattops-in-all-of-sports/

Fantasy Football's Top-10 QBs

Steuart Martens — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:35:19 -0400

1) Tom Brady, Patriots

If you can get him great, don’t push too hard for him. His health is questionable.

2) Peyton Manning, Colts

Same as Brady, his season could be questionable with health issues.

3) Tony Romo, Cowboys

I hate the Cowboys but he will produce huge fantasy numbers. Get Him!

See more of the article here.

At Least It's Better Than Aaron Rodgers (humor)

Steuart Martens — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 06:12:45 -0400

We all have heard the saying, “Well, at least that’s better than…”

In the spirit of the ongoing roast of Aaron Rodgers at InGameNow.com, here is the list of the top ten ways you can end that statement this week.

“Well at least that’s better than…"

View full story at: http://blog.ingamenow.com/2008/08/14/at-least-its-better-than-aaron-rodgers/