Bleacher Report - Articles by Derek Mahaffey

Top Ten Nicknames in College Football of Teams You Don't Know

Derek Mahaffey — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:10:43 -0400

In no particular order:

Texas College Steers: It's better than the other way they could have gone with this.

Whittier Poets: Yes, because a poet is the most menacing thing they could think of. Of course, the pen is mightier then the sword.

Illinois College Blue Boys: Trust me, you do not want to know why they are this way.

Central Dutch: Their receivers can't catch a thing, because their fingers are always in the di...levees.

Thiel Tomcats:Who doesn't want to be named after Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?

Gettysburg Bullets: Having a nickname named after the item that killed people in the single deadliest battle in the Civil War is always a classy move.

Salisbury Sea Gulls: A sea gull, seriously? But, then again, they are known to defecate on their opponents during the game.

Heidelberg Student Princes: They must have to win every game, because every player sends his army of 500 to fight for him instead.

Allegheny Gators: Yes, I know they share this with U. of Florida, but it might make more sense if they weren't based in western Pennsylvania.

Tufts Jumbos: At Tufts, Jumbo is an elephant. So they have an awesome line, but the specialty positions are pretty slow, though they never forget the plays.

Top 10 Sports That Need to Be Re-added to The Olympics

Derek Mahaffey — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 00:39:42 -0400

10. Tug-of-War

What wouldn't be exciting about a bunch of guys trying to pull each other over a line or a hole in the ground?

9. Ballooning

While not the friendliest spectator "sport", the mess-ups could make for some entertaining, though frightening, moments.

8. Gliding

See #9.

7. Golf

Because the Golf Channel just isn't enough.

6. American Football

Hey, it worked for basketball, we have been dominating ever since. Well, at least Americans find it an honor to play basketball in the Olympics. Maybe we will get some good international talent too.

5. Ice Stock Sport

Because curling is just too exciting.

4. Skijoring

It's like water skiing, except on snow, being pulled by dogs, and having no tricks involved.

3. Speed Skiing

What could possibly go wrong?

2. Croquet

Because Ice Stock Sport is just too exciting.

1. Surf Lifesaving

Because the people who lose don't feel bad enough already.

Joe Paterno—Should He or Shouldn't He?

Derek Mahaffey — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:46:34 -0400

In 2007, Joe Paterno turned 81 years old.

Many Penn State fans believe that he should hand over the reigns to somebody who is younger and more suited to be a more involved coach. Many other Penn State fans believe he should be allowed to stay as long as he wants to make the Nittany Lions a contender in the National Title hunt every year. Well, every year until 1999.

Others, who are not Penn State fans, pretty much don't care.

It is my opinion that he should be allowed to stay until he feels he should leave, or he dies. He has led Penn State to five undefeated seasons, two national titles, and two conference titles. He has also raised millions of dollars, along with donating millions more from his own pocket, toward the benefit of Penn State University, not the athletic teams.

With all the good Joe does for being at the university, it makes sense to keep him there as long as he is willing and able.