Bleacher Report - Articles by Rodney Southern

WWE Superstars: What Do You Want for Christmas?

Rodney Southern — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:35:47 -0500

With the holiday season right around the corner, I thought it might be a good idea to give out a few WWE Christmas presents. The WWE superstars all have some little something that is missing, and this is the perfect time to fix whatever flaws they may have.

Leave it to Santa Southern here to set things straight. We will have the WWE back on it's feet in no time.

John Cena - Ah, the great John Cena. What could Cena possibly be given that the WWE does not already bestow upon him? I have the perfect gift in mind. For Mr. Cena I give a heel turn.

Not just any heel turn either. Cena should know that this means that his fans will now be out of their training bras, and likely will not sport acne, but at least the grown ups will like him again (Or at least won't mind hating him).

Triple H - I have just the gift in mind for Triple H. For the Game I give the need to lose. With his 600 World Title reigns, the power of the Game will put over some of the young talent in the WWE big time.

While I am at it, I think I will instill in him the brain of Ric Flair. That way he will understand that without high powered opponents, legendary status will not follow (What would have happened had Flair not put over Ricky Steamboat back in the day?).

Hornswoggle - For the little green man, I give a starting position as the quarterback of the Cleveland Browns. Why not? It won't make any difference.

Mickie James - For Mickie I give a great big hug. That is really for my benefit but what the hell.

The Undertaker - For the Undertaker I give a return to his American Badass gimmick. I might be the only one that misses it, but these are my presents.

Kane - For Kane I bring back the mask. I can't take that mug week after week. He does not seem mean. He just seems ugly.

Rey Mysterio Jr.- Rey gets the best gift of all. A return to the cruiserweight division. To do that I guess I have to give back the division too. I would love to see Rey and Evan Bourne go at it in a good storyline.

Batista - For Batista, I would give retirement. It is time, man.

Chris Jericho - For the great Jericho, I have two presents. One, I bring back his ponytail. The GQ look just does not scream "Jericho" at all! Two, I bring back The Rock for him to go back and forth with. Nothing in my view compared to the Rock and Jericho going toe to toe on the microphone.

The Big Show - For the Big Show I give the powers of flight off the top rope. I am sorry but that would make for incredible television. His spear is great, but seeing Big Show go Mysterio would be classic.

Matt Hardy - I give a safe return of brother Jeff. Nothing is more important than family and Matt needs Jeff around. They compliment each other and always will.

Randy Orton - For Orton I give a injury timeout. A do over of sorts. Remember when Orton was gone due to the Motorcycle wreck? He was so over with the fans that a face turn would have been classic (see imminent Edge turn coming).

I see Orton turning face this time and staying there. He has the potential to be the face of WWE if they use him correctly.

Edge - For Edge I give the perfect return in a perfect WWE. The natural feud is with Jericho, and he simply has to make a huge return to confront him. God forbid Jerishow are still champs come then, I would love to see Edge return with Christian to challenge. I know it is far fetched, but it would be sweet.

That wraps up my gifts for this year. Feel free to leave gifts of your own down below.

How Ric Flair Helped Me Break My Daddy's Leg: Whoo!

Rodney Southern — Tue, 26 May 2009 00:37:33 -0400

Sitting back in his maroon recliner and sipping on his sweet tea, my Daddy never saw it coming. As I watched "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair finish off Dusty Rhodes, I let out the trademark "Whoo!" as loud as my 8-year-old lungs would allow.

Looking up from his newspaper, he gave me that stern look that said to be quiet or else. Back in the days when the NWA would televise wrestling on Saturday nights late, I would sometimes get to stay up and watch. That look meant that I was dangerously close to being sent to bed.

I was one of those wrestling kids that spent hours in the floor of my living room or bedroom making up storylines and matches with my little wrestling men. I knew all the wrestlers and their moves long before I learned about common sense.

I used to tell my Dad that I could beat him in a wrestling match. He would laugh it off and tell me I was "getting too big for my britches" while continuing on with his newspaper.

The truth was, I had some serious passive-aggressive feelings towards my Dad. I loved him, but even at that young age I felt that I was more of a hassle to him.

Later in life, I would not enjoy a close relationship with him, as he and my mother divorced. It seemed that he divorced me as well, and we just never did hit it off in any real way.

He has since passed away, and though we made sure to let each other know we loved and forgave one another, it still bugs me sometimes.

Regardless, those wrestling memories are the best memories I have of my Dad. He would occasionally take me to house shows and those were the times where I felt we were pals.

I love wrestling because of that to this day.

On this particular evening, I issued the same challenge that I did every week. I challenged my Dad to let me get a wrestling move on him and I bet that he could not get away.

He turned me down as always, and that was that. The next morning was a Sunday like any other, but my Dad had slept in late.

I climbed onto his bed and woke him up begging for a little bit of time together on the ball field. He declined as usual.

I remember feeling very angry with him, and then he said it.

"I don't feel like playing ball, but I will take your challenge. Go ahead and put a move on me, and I will try to get away."

Now I do not know if he was just that arrogant, or he was clueless about my knowledge of professional wrestling, but that was a huge mistake.

Instantly, I was transformed into Slick Rick himself. I was styling and profiling all over his bed as he lay there arrogantly looking up at me and laughing. I remember his laughter just made me that much more angry.

I let out another pitiful Whoo at him and grabbed his grown up leg. For a little boy, I had long and bony legs. I wrapped him up in the best figure four leglock you have ever seen and cinched it in.

For those that do not know, the figure four is no joke. With just a tiny bit of pressure you can literally break a man's leg. With a ton of pressure from a pair of bony, sharp little boy legs, the move can be especially effective.

Immediately, he came up off the bed and started screaming.

I remember thinking to myself, "Wow, he is really getting into the act. My Dad has never played this real before."

After what seemed like hours but in reality was about 45 seconds, I heard a slight little snapping sound over his screams.

I broke my Daddy's leg (okay, fractured it, but broken sounded more dramatic).

Slick Ric would have been proud and to this day, I have never seen his face without thinking of that day.

My Daddy lost that challenge and he never took me up on it again. His little boy was a little bit smarter than he thought.

In spite of our troubles through the years, and our separate lives, the memory of that morning and our wrestling shows together gave us both something to think back on with good memories.

Broken leg or not, we were together. That had to count for something, and I can thank Slick Ric for every bit of it. He taught that little boy everything he knew.

Why Edge Holds the Key To Reviving the Tag Team Division in the WWE

Rodney Southern — Sun, 24 May 2009 01:13:34 -0400

The Rated R Superstar has come a very long way since he and Christian dominated the WWE tag team division. He has been World Champ more times than wife Vickie Guerrero has asked to be excused.

He has carried the Smackdown brand almost single handedly in recent years, and all from the position of company heel.

Edge now stands in a position to save the WWE from itself yet again, and I think that he would be willing. This is a man that has taken every angle he has been given, and played it to the hilt.

No matter how asinine (Vicki) or how humiliating (only winning Gold by cheating), Edge has completely embraced the role and made us love it.

Now, the WWE is in turmoil. The WWE title scene is in a good place right now with Legacy, though they need fresh meat to throw at the altar of Randy Orton and his cronies. The real weak spot is obviously in the tag team division.

The WWE and wrestling in general is married to the idea of great tag team wrestling. You simply can not give us decades of great tag teams and then sweep the rug out from under the entire division one day.

The WWE has done just that. We have precious few tag teams as it is, and they do not even use the ones that are around.

So, what does this have to do with Edge, you ask?

As great as Edge is as a World Champion, he is even better as a tag team with Christian.

Christian would have little reason to object, as he is likely to get a whole lot more over with the fans that way. Edge would do it because Edge is a class act, and he knows it is good for the company.

Imagine for a moment....

Edge is without the World Title, and Christian has lost the ECW belt. They both take a vacation for a month or two to let the home-fires sizzle a bit.

Let the Internet rumors and buzz build while they perfect their teamwork and get back to being "Edge and Christian" once again.

Meanwhile, the WWE starts building up some serious tag teams with Rhodes and Dibiase taking the belts from Carlito and Primo.

Then they defend the belts every single week against all comers, and build the heel rep with plenty of cheating wins to go with the straight wins.

The key would be to go through some really good tag team angles with some developing tag teams. Here are a few suggestions: (obviously some brands would need adjusting, etc)

Kofi Kingston and Rey Mysterio

Shelton Benjamin and The Brian Kendrick

Matt Hardy and Festus (for some reason that one makes me smile)

The tag team division would suddenly get interesting because of the focus on it.

After decimating all comers, and week after week of talking about how nobody can beat them, they come out on Raw one night and offer a match to anybody in the back.

Out comes Edge and Christian, and the feud is on. The pop would be so loud that it might just blow the roof off the place.

This move would not be about simply recycling old stars. The point is, Edge and Christian would be the perfect springboard for other tag teams to jump off of. Few tag teams were better at helping other tag teams look good than Edge and Christian.

Think about it... How good were the Hardyz without Edge and Christian? The same goes for the Dudley Boys. They all fed off one another, and some great young tag teams could be built by the pop that Edge and Christian would bring.

Though this article is largely fantasy, and simply what I would love to see, the WWE is based on those very principles.

It could happen, and man would it be sweet!

WWE Judgement Day: Thanks for Nothing Vince!

Rodney Southern — Mon, 18 May 2009 00:21:12 -0400

The WWE has had its share of pay per views that left bad tastes in your mouth, but Judgement Day seemed to be a sure fire hit. With rumors flying all over the place, the WWE seemed primed to turn in a pay per view that would be unpredictable.

Each of the singles titles were on the line as Judgement Day came to pass, and each of the titles seemed somewhat like they could change hands. Randy Orton's WWE championship was the only title that really seemed secure. So what would the WWE do at Judgement Day? Lets look and see:

John Morrison def. Shelton Benjamin - This feud is only in the beginning stages but it certainly is one of the better ones going in the WWE. Benjamin and Morrison are both faces of the future for the WWE, but Morrison in particular has been a hot commodity.

It would seem that the WWE would push Morrison and they did just that with the win over Benjamin. This was a fairly predictable, and satisfying outcome.

Umaga def. CM Punk - This match actually turned out to be the one surprise of the evening. It seemed in the weeks leading up to Judgement Day that the WWE was building up Punk to beat Umaga. Instead, he got a thumb to the throat and a three count. Lots of WWE fans hated this outcome, but I was glad to see him get beaten... finally.

ECW Champion Christian def. Jack Swagger - Again, the WWE was predictable in Christian winning over Jack Swagger. The one thing about this match that stood out to me was that it was actually entertaining. Swagger was not exactly a favorite of mine, but he actually won me over a little with this match. I did not know he was that talented.

Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho - The WWE did resist the urge to strap the Intercontinental Belt on Chris Jericho at Judgement Day, but I doubt that will last long. I smell Mysterio dropping the belt on Smackdown's very next taping. Jericho is in Smackdown to lead the brand. He will not be without Gold for very long.

John Cena def. Big Show - Cena beating Big Show was so predictable that every fan in the arena knew it was coming. The only redeeming factor this match had to me was watching Cena hoist Show over his head for an attitude adjustment. Other than that, this was a yawner.

Batista def. WWE Champion Randy Orton by disqualification - Talk about wasting your top commodity. Randy Orton and Batista basically had a match that might as well of been on Monday Night Raw. To end a WWE Championship feud with a disqualification left many buyers ticked off, including me. Maybe Orton will move on to a real challenger now, but I doubt it.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge def. Jeff Hardy - This match might as well be labeled a repeat. Brother Matt runs in and costs his brother championship gold once again. Yawn.

Why in the world would they recycle this same old storyline once again when the match was actually phenomenal on its own? Easily the best match of the night was completely ruined by a stupid gimmick storyline that was just used. Vince needs new bookers in my view.

Judgement Day was basically an extended version of Monday Night Raw. It was most certainly not worth paying money for as absolutely nothing new happened at all. The best thing that happened all night was the revelation of a potential feud between Santino Marella and The Miz.

That is not good, when your between the match segments are more exciting than the matches themselves.

Death Of a Wrestling Superstar: A Tribute to Old School

Rodney Southern — Mon, 04 May 2009 20:30:09 -0400

Old school wrestling to me and my buddies was all about the NWA and early WCW days. The best wrestling buddy I ever had shared those years with me back then, and they were glorious.

He died not long ago, and as a writer, I have been searching for the proper platform to write his tribute. Given that our greatest passion as friends was the squared circle, the Bleacher Report Wrestling section and their passionate wrestling fans, B/R seemed the only real choice.

I wanted to post this somewhere where people could truly relate to just who he was, and what we loved. I know you guys won't let me down on that end as you are the most passionate wrestling friends and writers that I have.

Memories flood into my brain like a pile driver as I think back on our years of wrestling glory together. We watched more matches in the old Greensboro cracker jack box than I could ever dream of counting. They always seemed to bring the A-game when they came to Greensboro.

Guy Rayle loved wrestling more than he loved anything with the possible exception of women. (I forgave him for that and understood) He knew every finisher, and every title history, going back to the earliest days of the NWA.

Guy was one of those old school guys that refused to buy into the whole fake thing. He knew, I am sure, but he never admitted it to a soul, including myself. He was the dude that would literally bruise your arm if you sat beside him at a match, and you did not even care because he made it all that much more exciting.

Guy was a little boy in a man's body, and his exuberance rubbed off on anyone around him. He simply loved wrestling, and the wrestlers that put their health on the line for us every single day.

The one memory that stands out to me was when Magnum TA had his car wreck. It was a Saturday morning when we both heard the news, and Guy literally had tears in his eyes. One might be inclined to make fun of him if it were not so obvious that he meant it.

That was my friend, and my wrestling buddy. I will miss him every single time I see a wrestling match, and every Saturday night I head to Greensboro for the matches. He was one hell of a wrestling fan, and one hell of friend.

I miss you buddy, and I will always hold a seat open for you man. Somebody has to bruise my arm during the matches.

Old school has gone to heaven, and the next generation is coming along. I hope they will learn a few things from the people that built wrestling...fans like my buddy Guy.

Rest in peace brother.

The Real Mick Foley AKA Cactus Jack: A True WCW First Hand Account

Rodney Southern — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 00:34:50 -0400

Mick Foley is a few french fries short of a happy meal. The train stops just a bit short of the station ramp, and his brain has seen more barb wire than Pamela Anderson's arm, but Cactus Jack is one hell of a winner in my book.

Let me tell you why...

Back in the day, when Cactus Jack was toiling in the WCW, I and my buddies were rabid WCW wrestling fans, I had an encounter with Cactus Jack. It was right about the time that Dusty Rhodes was still cool, and Ric Flair was in his prime.

It was also a time when jobbers existed for extended periods of time, and they became fan favorites on occasion. While Foley was no jobber, he was known to lose on plenty of occasions back then. Usually that job included blood if it was a house show so he was always a match to look forward to for our warped testosterone charged teen-aged brains.

This was back in the day when house shows were very common, and the old WCW used to come to Greensboro, North Carolina every other month it seemed at a minimum. Yes, this was the same Greensboro, North Carolina that lays claim to the birth of the Four Horsemen though some would argue that fact.

At a time when Flair, Dusty, Arn Anderson, Nikita Koloff, Magnum TA, and others were at the pinnacle of the WCW wrestling world, Cactus Jack came to bleed for them and others. He always found a way.

At one of these house shows, I got the honor of meeting Cactus Jack, as well as Mick Foley.

Me and a couple of my buddies was sitting by the popcorn stands scoping out some chicks that were standing across the way. I had my Member's Only jacket on, and my mullet haired buddies were looking as good as they could look with those haircuts. After making no inroads at all with the chicks, we decided to go back to our seats.

As we turned to go, I caught a glimpse of a large man coming from the arena floor area and walking over to the pay phone. After a moment or two of staring, I realized that it was in fact, Cactus Jack himself.

I jabbed my buddies and told them who it was, and they turned and verified that I was not losing my mind. Here was Cactus Jack, talking on the pay phone out in the causeway. He was in his street clothes, and looked like any other Joe among the crowd at the time. He had his hair back in a pony tail, and the tell tale stitches across his forehead.

He turned for one moment and acknowledged us standing there. We kept our distance and kind of acted as though we were unaware of him. Our attempt at being cool was kind of funny, really. We went back to checking out the chicks again, and occasionally looked over to the phone to see if he was off yet so we could ask for a graph.

My buddies were whistling at these chicks over and over, and really acting like morons and ruining any chances that we might have with them.

On one of the times we looked back over to see if he was still on the phone, he was gone. Damn! We missed him...Then suddenly from just over our shoulders and behind us, we heard "Bang! Bang!"

Foley had snuck up behind us and scared the shit out of us. Every one of us nearly jumped out of our skin. Foley started laughing and you could tell he got a big kick out of that. He started introducing himself and dutifully signed a couple of autographs for us. Oddly, nobody else even seemed to know who he was, and pretty much left us alone.

Then he made mention of the fact that he had been watching us trying to get some tail, and that we really were clueless. He asked if we wanted some help. Of course we said sure, and wondered what in the world he might do.

He said to follow him and not say anything. He walked over to that group of girls and said, "Hi, I am Cactus Jack, and me and my friends want to take you down to the dressing rooms. I am wrestling later tonight, and I could let you gals meet some of the other wrestlers."

The girls jumped at the chance and we all headed down the tunnel. Immediately, we got to introduce ourselves and make a little headway with the girls.

When we got downstairs, the first person we ran into was Ric Flair himself. He was dressed in jeans and t-shirt and I remember thinking how different he looked up close. The scars were evidence of his many battles. Foley introduced us as his "cousins" to everybody.

All the wrestlers were really cool, and they all took the time to talk for a few minutes.

When it came time for the show to start, Foley said that he had some seats reserved for people that did not get to come. That was what he had been on the phone trying to work out. He asked if we wanted to take the seats. Needless to say, we did as they were right at ringside. Each of the six of us sat ringside that night.

Foley's match was second on the card that night, and he jobbed to a young Barry Windham. As usual, Foley bled though I don't think it was in the script. He just had a cut that got opened. Then again, Cactus Jack always had to bleed.

When the match was over, Foley came over and gave each of us some of his gear. Wristbands, a necklace of bones, and the strings from his boots among other things. I got one of the wristbands, and it had a couple drops of blood on it.

It sits on my mantle, in a plastic display case. It may seem a strange thing to display, but it meant something to me. Cactus Jack, who was not Mankind or Mick Foley yet, had taken the time to get to know us. He asked about my family, my future, and if I was staying out of trouble.

You could tell that he was a good man, especially looking back on it as a man now.

So, Cactus Jack (he will always be Cactus Jack to me), if you are out there and reading this, I want you to know that you made a young man very happy that night.

Not only did you let me have a brush with greatness, but you also scored me a hot chick...my future wife.

And we love Cactus Jack.

The Time Is Now Vince: Turn DiBiase And Watch Orton Step Into Stardom

Rodney Southern — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:48:54 -0400

The WWE has been building it and building it. They just do not seem to know a face turn when they see it. Randy Orton is ready to explode as.... ou guessed it...a face!

Sunday's Backlash pay per view is the perfect time, and the six man match is the perfect platform. All the pieces are in place for the WWE to turn the wrestling world upside down.

Sound crazy? Bear with me for a moment.

The six-man tag match main event features four men that have rich history together (Batista, Orton, HHH, and Shane) and two that are relatively new and need to create some history.

DiBiase and Rhodes are joined at the hip and it is killing them. Had the WWE used this great tag team to build a real tag team division, that would no longer be the case. Instead, they went the route of forming Legacy. That said, the two boys could use some pushing.

Given the history between the others, however, the match is set up perfectly for a shock turn. Orton has shown that he can pull the fans, and his heel persona has built up his "Stone Cold/Rock" effect over the last several months.

The moment has come to bring Orton into the spotlight as a face. Here is how they could do it:

Triple H is just about to lose the match at Backlash as Orton hits him with an RKO clean. As Rhodes and Batista battle on the outside, Shane comes in to make the save with the sledgehammer. DiBiase comes running into the ring to seemingly help Orton. As Shane goes to swing the hammer at Orton, he suddenly stops just short.

He turns instead and tosses the hammer to DiBiase who then lays out...Randy Orton. Then DiBiase tosses the hammer back to Shane who then lays out....HHH. As the two men lie in the center of the ring, Rhodes and Batista finally realize what is going on and rush into the ring. As Rhodes stands over the two fallen men and goes to pin HHH, Batista whirls him around and power bombs him.

Batista then picks up a stunned HHH as he is staggering to his feet and power bombs him as well as Shane and DiBiase applaud him from the top of the ramp. He then lays HHH over Orton and the ref counts to three. HHH retains the title.

Batista joins Shane and DiBiase as Backlash ends, leaving three bodies in the ring.

Cut to Raw the next night:

The show opens with HHH coming to the ring. As he begins to review the night at Backlash, out comes DiBiase...alone. DiBiase then challenges HHH for the belt on Raw that night. HHH accepts.

Throughout Raw, they build up the fact that Orton will not be at Raw due to injury. (something serious that would keep him out for at least two weeks) At the end of the show, HHH loses the belt due to interference by Batista and Shane, and DiBiase becomes champion. As they beat down HHH, Rhodes runs in to help but is beat down as well.

This would give the push needed for Rhodes to maybe kick up a feud with Batista. The two could do some pretty good spots if Rhodes could just get his mike skills down a bit better.

For the remaining two to three weeks Orton's return would be all the rage. What is he going to do when he comes back? Go after HHH? Go after DiBiase/Batista/Shane? The announcers would need to tout his return over and over to build the excitement.

In the meantime, Shane, DiBiase, and Batista could run all over the WWE faces. Have them beat down everybody. Anyone that got in the way would need to be destroyed with DiBiase in particular winning every match with help along with a couple of straight pins as well.

Finally, at the next pay per view or an appropriate Raw, right in the middle of a Shane/Batista/DiBiase beat down of HHH, Orton's music could hit. After a moment or two and some shocked faces in the ring, Orton could come running down the ramp and RKO all three men. Just as he is about to give DiBiase a second dose, HHH could sneak in and....Pedigree...On Orton.

The whole thing was a set up on Randy Orton. HHH turns heel, and joins with Shane, DiBiase, and Batista for the new heel group. Orton is a man on an island, with the WWE fans squarely in his corner.

The revolution would then begin. Orton after DiBiase for the belt and eventual championship.

Reflections Of a Hind Catcher: Bruises, Broken Bones, and a Love of The Game

Rodney Southern — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 02:09:17 -0400

I realize that I just dated myself with that title...hind catcher. Not many people still call it that, but in my day it was the term used to describe what I did. Call it backstop, receiver, coach on the field, or just plain painful if you like. Any of these terms will do.

Having spent the better part of my sporting life in the game of baseball, and playing at a fairly high level with some fantastic players over the years, I can tell you about the life of a catcher.

It started as a fluke in little league. My coach tricked me into putting on the gear in a game against the Bears, and I never looked back. After arguing with my Dad for about thirty minutes, I was finally allowed to gear up and get behind the plate.

I never looked back.

The first thing I recall was that the game looked very different from behind the dish. The beauty of the game is right there in front of you, with none of the areas of the game hidden from your view.

Being a catcher is like a love affair in that you must love the details of the game to ever get anywhere with it. If you try to just fill the position, you are just an idiot having a ball thrown at you for nine innings.

Being a catcher inspired many imitations over the years that are still fresh in my mind as well. As a young catcher, you had to emulate the stars of the day at the position. My early years were spent learning to squat like Tony Pena, and my aching knees keep the memory fresh in my mind to this day.

Every time I stand up I feel each deformed squat, and wonder just what the hell I was thinking. I learned to throw from my knees and snap throw down to first and third base. Over time, my arm became the stuff of little league legend.

Nobody ran on Rodney Southern.

That was the attitude and the way I saw it, even if nobody else did. I was a talented catcher, but what made me special was a love of the details.

Knowing how to call a game at a very young age, I was ahead of the pitchers I was working with. I knew to come high and tight to a batter that was crowding the plate, even though my pitcher usually had no idea where the ball was going. I still called the game correctly anyway.

This would serve me well over the years, as would the other little details of the game. Backing up the first baseman on throws from the infield, knowing how to properly block the plate, and talking a batter out of a quality at bat were just some of the skills that I mastered at a young age.

By the time I reached Colt league and began playing with a traveling team, I was headed for bigger and better things. I could catch with anyone, and was more than able to hold my own at the plate.

I broke so many bones over the years behind the plate that I lost count. Somehow, though, I only missed game time with a broken foot. That was how I learned to toss my mask away on a pop up behind the plate instead of just flipping it off my head. After flipping it off that day, the corner of the mask hit my ankle just so and chipped the bone.

I never flipped it off again. Catching is like that. Short, painful, specific learning situations that you simply have to adapt to, or pay the price.

That is what I loved about it. The instant payoff of a perfect read on a steal...The nuance of calling a slider in, when the batter is looking curve ball away... The pain of forgetting to put on that protective cup and knowing that you have to block that pitch in the dirt anyway...All are lessons of the hind catcher.

Painful, passionate, love of the game lessons that I would not trade for the world.

Thanks Tony Pena, for teaching me how to be a hind catcher, and the premature arthritis that it brought on. My bones ache, but my passion remains even as I struggle to overcome the 12 years I spent behind the plate.

I never made the big leagues, except in the backyard of my mind. That fertile playground housed many Game Seven World Series matchups that ended with me calling the perfect pitch and receiving exactly what I asked for.

In spite of my coming up short of The Show, one thing still holds true. Even in my aching 40 year old body.

Nobody runs on Rodney Southern...Nobody.

Phillies and Hamels Handcuff Rays in World Series Game One

Rodney Southern — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:55:30 -0400

Cole Hamels took the mound as though he had been there before. The Rays looked as though they were playing in the first World Series ever. Both of these things were easily predictable. The Rays love the drama anyway.

Hamels was sharp for the majority of the game, mixing a deceptive fastball with that devastating changeup. Few pitchers have been as sharp as Hamels has been so far in the postseason. What was truly impressive was the fact that he never seemed rattled, regardless of the Rays' new reputation as the comeback kids.

After giving up a home run to Carl Crawford, Hamels simply settled right back in to winning Game One. Hamels is now 4-0 in the postseason, and it was not as close as the score indicated. The Rays were simply over-matched in Game One.

Ironically, I still see the Rays winning the series. The Rays are a team that can explode for long stretches of offense, and the back end of the Phillies' rotation still looms in the near future. It is only a matter of time before the Rays' bats wake up. When they do, the series should liven up considerably.

Speaking of sleeping bats, what the heck is going on with Ryan Howard? The MLB leader in home runs and RBI has looked completely lost, which only underscores the fact that the Phillies are playing great baseball.

Between Utley, Victorino, and in particular Jayson Werth, the Phillies are more than making up for the sleeping bat of Ryan Howard. What happens if Howard suddenly realizes what is wrong with his swing?

All things considered, Game One of the World Series was exactly what was expected.

What will Game Two bring?

NFL Christmas Wish List: What Does Each Team Want?

Rodney Southern — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:42:05 -0400

32 NFL football teams all have one thing in mind this time of year...The Super Bowl. The big enchilada. The proverbial top of the mountain.

With it being so close to the Christmas season, every NFL team surely has a Christmas list. What would each NFL team wish for if they had the option of adding that final piece of the puzzle to take them to the Super Bowl? A stud running back or a legendary quarterback? This article answers the burning question...

Just what do these teams want to help them reach the Super Bowl?

New Orleans Saints: The Saints want only one thing. An NFL uniform made of titanium to keep Reggie Bush on the field.

New York Giants: The Giants want a national blackout of all of there regular season football games. This way, they can play as the underdog all over again. Sorry guys, but no slipping in under the radar this year.

Dallas Cowboys: The Cowboys want only one thing. A probation officer on the payroll. (And possibly an on-site strip club)

Denver Broncos: The Broncos seem destined to need a new fangled scoreboard. The old one does not have enough numbers to keep up with the visitors points.

Houston Texans: The Texans want a do over. That is all there is to it. They are so much better than that record suggests. Or are they, Santa?

Arizona Cardinals: The Cardinals want a brain transplant. They want Kurt Warner's brain in Matt Leinart's body. Then they would have a quarterback for sure.

Washington Redskins: The Redskins want to fool everyone into thinking that they can lead the NFC East without a prolific quarterback. Oh wait, they already have that.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The Bucs want to have Jon Gruden try a kinder, gentler approach. That has been going on for two years now, but nobody notices because of that Chucky grill.

Atlanta Falcons: The Falcons want to beat Carolina just once when it matters.

Philadelphia Eagles: The Eagles want Donovan Mcnabb to finally complete the season, and reach his potential. It has been a decade after all.

Miami Dolphins: The Dolphins want Dan Marino to come out of retirement. It is the only way they will complete a pass longer than ten yards with regularity. At least he could get plenty of breaks with the wildcat offense.

Minnesota Vikings: The Vikings want somebody, anybody to complement Adrian Peterson. Gus Frerrotte is just an interception away from an errant head butt and knocking himself silly again.

Chicago Bears: The Bears want Matt Forte to take over as General Manager. He does everything else, so why not run the team?

Green Bay Packers: The Packers want Aaron Rodgers to peel off the disguise and reveal what they knew all along. That Brett Favre was inside him all along. That guy in New York is actually just a clone. You thought that this was over? I still see a ton of Favre jerseys every game on the frozen tundra.

San Diego Chargers: The Chargers just want a heart. If only they had a heart (and Hochuli's head on a platter, of course).

Carolina Panthers: The Panthers want to beat the Bucs just once when it matters. Please. Santa, please.

Buffalo Bills: Buffalo wants to never, ever be woke up from this magical dream that is the 2008 NFL football season. That or some voodoo.

New York Jets: The Jets just want everyone to stop calling them Brett Favre. This storied franchise has no identity other than the team that signed Brett Favre (it is okay, Jets fans. He is actually a clone).

New England Patriots: The Patriots just want Brady back. That is all they want. Give me Brady back. Even videotaping the other team's planning sessions isn't working.

Indianapolis Colts: The Colts want to convince everyone that Harrison hasn't lost a step, and that Peyton is as good as ever, and that Addai is better than Edgerrin ever was. Do it on the field guys...on the field.

Tennessee Titans: The Titans do not want anything except an autographed copy of the contract Pacman signed with Dallas. That is gift enough.

Jacksonville Jaguars: The Jaguars, like the Texans just want a do over. They also would not mind borrowing Reggie Bush's titanium suit for old Fred Taylor now and again.

Oakland Raiders: The Raiders want Al Davis to hire himself as head coach. Then maybe he will get fired.

San Francisco 49ers: The Niners want a huge bucket of stickum for their quarterback. Can he really fumble again? Yes, he can. Where is Montana?

Pittsburgh Steelers: The Steelers want to play all of their remaining games on Monday nights. Period.

Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens want a quarterback. Any quarterback will do.

Detroit Lions: The Lions want an NFL franchise. They do not currently have one, do they?

Seattle Seahawks: The Seahawks want two wide receivers that are impervious to pain. Steve Largent could do better. Now.

Kansas City Chiefs: The Chiefs want to trade Larry Johnson before he gets beat up by his female friends. Please someone, take this all pro talent. Is that Dallas calling? They have a spot open now that Pacman is gone.

Cleveland Browns: The Browns want someone to hit coach in the head before Sunday's game. Then maybe they could sneak Brady Quinn into the starting lineup. If they are going to lose, at least let the kid get some reps.

St. Louis Rams: The Rams want to be in a division where they can play like crap, not win in the first four games of the season, and still be on the edge of winning the division. Oh wait, they play in the NFC West. One less gift for Santa to worry about.

Cincinnati Bengals: The Bengals want Ocho Cinco to catch one-o pass-o. This prima donna deserves nothing but coal in his stocking.

Finally, for NFL commisioner Goodell, a great big hug from an NFL fan fed up with some of the thugs still permeating the NFL rosters. Keep swinging that big stick, and hopefully the only muggings that we will be seeing will happen between the lines like they are supposed to.

DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart Making Panthers Engine Purr

Rodney Southern — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 17:31:20 -0400

The Carolina Panthers had a good idea of what they were getting when they drafted rookie Jonathan Stewart in the first round of the NFL draft. Bad toe or not, they were having visions of Stephen Davis-like smash-mouth football.

You know the type: teeth rattling, cleat gnashing, 3rd-and-1-and-a-pick-up-five type of football. Stewart has been as good as advertised and then some.

What was not expected was the sudden explosion that has been DeAngelo Williams. Williams is playing like a man that knows his job is on the line. What has evolved is an interesting pseudo-competition at the running back position. Who is winning?

The Carolina Panthers are winning.

Stewart is a bull of a player at the running-back position, standing only 5'10" but weighing in at a husky 235 pounds. What truly makes Stewart special is his ability to both juke and run over the second and third lines of a defense. When Stewart turns on the jets, it is game over for most everyone else on the field. Speed is certainly not in short supply.

So far in 2008, Stewart has played second fiddle to DeAngelo Williams in both carries, and starts. Williams has started every game, but they exchange series regularly and occasionally share a series when down and distance require as much.

Williams has 15 more carries than Stewart, but the tide seems to be turning towards a 50/50 role.

One area that Stewart is not playing second fiddle to Williams is in the area of rushing touchdowns. Stewart is finding the end zone with regularity on the ground, with five rushing touchdowns already in his rookie season.

Williams has two, but also has two touchdowns through the air for a total of four. Both have shown a nose for the end zone.

That is good news for the Carolina Panthers' offense, and it shows. The Panthers have enjoyed a revitalization of the passing game. Certainly Jake Delhomme is a huge part of that resurgence, but so too are Williams and Stewart.

The Panthers have not ever had a rushing combo as consistent and dangerous as these guys.

What offense features two running backs more different than one another, yet both still perform at a 4.0 yard per carry rate apiece? There have been a few over the years, and the Cowboys have a strong version with Marion Barber and Felix Jones this season.

It is a rare set of toys for John Fox to play with indeed.

While trying to determine who is winning the running-back competition in Carolina, one must consider an unpopular answer. It is a real life, bona fide, no kidding...tie. Neither running back is winning the competition outright.

They both, along with their Carolina Panther teammates, are all winning just about the same...and that is just fine by them.

How Would Sports Superstars Use This Huge Diamond?

Rodney Southern — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 06:37:33 -0400

Everyone knows by now about the giant diamond that was recently found in a small mine in South Africa. Apparently, the diamond is being tested for authenticity as they think it could be a fluorite crystal. Either way, I thought it might be fun to consider the ways that this wonderful gem might be used in the sports world, both for good and evil.

Here are the top ten ways that the giant diamond found in South Africa could be used:

10. Victoria Beckham could give it to her husband, soccer star David, as a soccer ball. David absolutely loves to kick things around after all, and would love this shiny new toy to boot around with his iron foot. As a side note, when David tires of his new play toy, he could give it to Posh to hang in her closet. It would go nicely with the Baccarat Chandelier she has for lighting in there.

9. Dennis Rodman could use it for his latest earring. Far from straying from the limelight, and unafraid of the damage the diamond would do to his ear, Rodman would welcome the accessory, and later wear it for a belt buckle. Finally, he would have it broken down into 25,000 tiny diamonds to make his latest diamond encrusted bra.

8. Kobe Bryant could give it to his wife to cover his next 12 affairs. Knowing the value of a good diamond, Kobe would milk this one for all it is worth. He should get over on at least a dozen affairs, and more if they are consensual.

7. WWE Chairman Vince McMahon could use it as the centerpiece at the next Wrestlemania as special guest referee. Never mind that the diamond can't speak or move, or count to three. That is just a tiny problem when compared with ratings. The match would pit The Rock against DDP.

The Rock would use the diamond to knock out DDP just as he attempted his diamond cutter. People will pay good money to see the world's largest diamond. They pay to see The Great Khali don't they?

6. Barry Bonds could insert it into the barrel of his bat. Certainly no stranger to being under a microscope, Bonds and the giant diamond would go together like peas and carrots. Bonds could shatter all possibility of anyone ever getting his home run record. Even A-rod would have to give him his props then.

5. They could hang it around Michael Vick's neck along with a ham bone, and let the pit bulls give justice. Vick would normally outrun the dogs but with the weight of the giant diamond around his neck, he would be on an even playing field. Then, Vick would really learn his lesson and be rehabilitated.

4. Michael Jordan could use it as a door stopper. The man is sickeningly rich, so what else could he do with it? He has enough diamonds on his championship rings to make twelve of them, so give the man a break!

3. Fred Taylor could melt it down into a body suit to go under his football uniform. This is the only way the guy will make it through a whole season without getting hurt. Diamonds are quite hard you know.

2. They could make Shaquille O'Neal's next championship ring. For the first time in his career, he will actually have a single stone big enough for his huge finger.

1. They could give it to Terrell Owens as they finally found something just as big as his ego. Terrell would finally have someone (thing) to talk to that would be on the same level as him, and would not argue his assertion that he is the greatest.

There you have it, the top ten ways the giant diamond could be used in the sports world.

Sidney Lowe II Gets A Lucky Roll Of The Dice In Criminal Court

Rodney Southern — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 12:12:09 -0400

So, Sidney Lowe II finally has been sentenced here in our Greensboro courts for his part in a crime spree last year. Superior Court Judge Henry Frye Jr. saw fit to sentence Lowe II to eleven years in prison.

Boy, that is sending a message for multiple charges of robbery, drugs, and kidnapping. (Insert sarcasm) Then, he turns around and suspends the sentence to only 15 months.

I smell favoritism brewing in the Tar Heel State.

Lowe II was facing up to 23 years in prison so I would dare say that he got off pretty easy. The reasons given for the light charge was his showing of remorse. Remorse? Let us take a look at that.

If you are truly remorseful, you do not continue your criminal behavior after the fact. These were not charges from a one time incident. These were multiple charges from more than one episode.

How remorseful could Lowe II be? Remorseful that he got caught is more like it.

How serious were the crimes? Well, a man was shot during an armed robbery. One of his fellow criminals was charged with attempted murder.

Throw in another episode where Lowe and accomplices broke into a house and smashed a bottle over their victim's head.

That episode was six counts of robbery with a dangerous weapon and six counts of second degree kidnapping. Add in one count of assault inflicting serious bodily injury for good measure. This does not even include the drug charges and stolen goods charges.

Lowe II started by claiming innocence on all charges. More remorse from the young man. He ended up pleading guilty on most of the charges including the more serious charges. So much for innocence and remorse.

This is a prime example of favoritism in the eye of publicity. It is sickening to think how many years any normal citizen would get in the same situation and it turns my stomach.

I believe that any man makes mistakes, and should be allowed to redeem themselves once they have paid their debt to society.

The problem with crap like this is that Lowe II will come out of prison having learned little other than the fact that he can get away with what others can not. How is this good for the young man?

One last little side note: Lowe II was sentenced to a low security (translation - penthouse by prison standards) prison. How many convicted armed robbers do you know in that kind of prison?

Brett Favre Deserves Better Than This! Or Does He?

Rodney Southern — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:49:00 -0400

Everyone seems to be chiming in on Brett Favre and his retirement/non-retirement, so I figured I would throw my two cents in as well.

The large majority of people I have talked to seem to think that Favre is somehow wrong to be doing what he is doing.

I say hogwash. Favre is an athlete that still has something left in the tank.

Bottom line: Favre took his team to the playoffs this past season and came very close to enjoying another Super Bowl. This is not a man that is washed up and is no longer able to contribute.

Favre has every right to change his mind about retirement. Retiring is the single biggest decision that any pro athlete can make, and many have undone retirements in the past. The Green Bay Packers should have known that was a possibility.

Should Green Bay scrap all they have done in the offseason to welcome Brett back?

That depends on Green Bay. They are the only ones that know if it is a smart move for the franchise from a monetary, personnel, and team perspective.

Should Green Bay try to force Brett to backup a man that is clearly not his equal? Not a chance. If they are not willing to take Brett back in a logical way, then they should trade or release him. He has earned that right from them many times over.

Brett Favre is Green Bay.

Should Brett sign with another team? Absolutely he should, if Green Bay is not in line with his wishes. His time is numbered, and he does not have any room for playing mind games with the Green Bay front office. This was not something that happened a week before kickoff.

Give the man a break, and let him continue to excite us on the NFL playing field. I have to tell you, that if he were to come down here to Carolina, he would be welcomed with open arms. I suspect any other NFL town that has suspect quarterbacks would feel the same.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jr. Give WWE a Heel Tag Team to Build On

Rodney Southern — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:55:46 -0400

Ted DiBiase, Jr. and Cody Rhodes took a giant leap forward in building the WWE Raw tag team on tonight's episode. For the first time in recent memory, a real tag team seemed to show up on the scene. More importantly, a real pair of tag team heels showed up.

After accepting JBL's offer to team up with him against John Cena and his partners, the underutilized Cryme Tyme, DiBiase, and Rhodes stepped to the front of the WWE heel list. From the talking spot with Jim "Hacksaw" Duggan to the match against Cena and Cryme Tyme, Rhodes and DiBiase played the part of heel perfectly.

A babyface for much of the beginning of his career, Rhodes shined in the role of heel tonight. For the first time I saw an individual, and not someone's son. DiBiase shocked me as he was much better than I expected. Athletic, arrogant, and irritating, the two filled these roles to perfection.

As WWE World Tag Team Champions, DiBiase and Rhodes could inject some life into the lifeless tag team division if they are used properly.

At times in the match tonight, Rhodes and DiBiase reminded me of the Anderson brothers of old. They were cutting off the ring, working on specific parts of the body, and using the counts of the referee just perfectly.

Most importantly, they were selling their tails off. When the babyfaces were hot, they sold every move with flair. This caused the crowd to erupt and the match to build beautifully.

All in all, Rhodes and DiBiase made quite a splash tonight. It remains to be seen whether the WWE will take advantage of the heat they generated.

My opinion is that they should hold the titles through several heated feuds to help build the heat. Do not drop the belts right away, as this will cool off the fire they have built. Give the crowd time to really hate them, and they should be a great feud waiting to happen.

Now, if only they could get some other tag teams assembled and let them stay together more than three weeks, we might have a Tag Team Division in WWE again.

Rhodes and DiBiase are a great start.

Why WWE Raw Needs No More JBL

Rodney Southern — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 19:23:00 -0400

In the world of professional wrestling there are heels (bad guys) and there are babyfaces (good guys), though the line between the two has blurred in recent years. With the popularity of The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin, rooting for the bad guy has become commonplace at times.

The WWE is painfully hurting for a true heel to pit against the good guys. JBL is currently filling that void, but he is simply not working out. He brings people to tears with boring appearances and tired gimmicks.

JBL portrays a rich, egotistical, Wall Street cowboy, and that is exactly the problem. He does a wonderful job of making the fans hate him. But the real problem with this is why exactly they hate him.

It is not because he is irritating (he is). It is not because he does morally bad things (he does). It is because he is extremely boring in and out of the ring. A good heel makes you want to see him beaten. JBL makes fans want to see him go away. Completely.

The thought of him hanging around WWE Raw for yet another year makes me want to turn off the television at times. What makes matters even worse is that the WWE seems intent on pushing him into every major storyline.

Why? Not one person I know wants to see JBL fight anybody. This puzzles me and makes me wonder if the politics are running wild around the WWE offices. Why else would they shove JBL down our throats week after week? Especially with the up and coming TNA breathing down their neck.

Randy Orton was the ultimate bad guy. He made you want to see him get ripped limb from limb. Even in his matches against jobbers, you actually cheered for the jobbers. Orton was the epitome of interaction with the fans even though he used few words.

JBL often rants like an old cowboy that needs to be put out to pasture. As an announcer, I actually enjoyed JBL. He did a fine job for the most part.

As a full-time heel, JBL just needs to step away. Though his words were rather ludicrous, I must agree with the message John Cena spray painted on JBL's limo: "JBL is poopy!"

Dallas Cowboys NFL Fantasy Football Predictions

Rodney Southern — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 17:15:00 -0400

The Dallas Cowboys have been a great source for NFL fantasy football leagues for several years now. In 2007, the Cowboys held true to form, and provided many viable options to fantasy owners.

After a season in which the Cowboys went 13-3 in the regular season, Dallas seems primed to light up the NFL fantasy football scoreboard yet again in 2008. Let's look at how the Cowboys stack up at the key 2008 NFL fantasy football positions.

Quarterback—Tony Romo has secured his position as the leader for America's Team. While Romo has certainly impressed through his two NFL seasons as quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, Romo also has fallen apart at crunch time for two straight years. While these late season collapses have not all been on Romo's shoulders, he has contributed to them.

Tony Romo is not the same quarterback in the last month of the NFL season as he is throughout the NFL regular season. This needs to be fixed pronto if he is to step into the 2008 NFL fantasy football quarterbacking elite.

At his best, Tony Romo is as good as it gets in NFL fantasy football at the quarterback position with the exception of Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. Romo is primed for another solid NFL fantasy football season with the Dallas Cowboys.

At his worst, Tony Romo is still a solid pick that will give you an occasional headache. As far as 2008 NFL fantasy football draft value, put Romo behind only Manning and Brady on your draft chart. The 2008 NFL fantasy football season should be a bit of a breakout year for Romo.

The Cowboys have all the pieces in place for Tony Romo to succeed and he is entering that magical season three for NFL starting quarterbacks. Look for Romo to take a step into the 2008 NFL fantasy football elite.

Running Backs—What took the Dallas Cowboys so long to allow stud running back Marion Barber to carry the load? After using Barber as a goal line battering ram for most of his time in a Dallas Cowboy uniform, he finally got the chance to shine late last season.

The result was Julius Jones being sent packing and Barber inheriting the starting spot going into the 2008 NFL football season. It is about time. Barber has always been a touchdown machine in Dallas, and the Cowboys expect that he will be that and more in 2008.

This should mean much better numbers for Marion Barber and 2008 NFL fantasy football teams across the country. With a fantastic nose for the goal line, he will be a 2008 NFL fantasy football stud for the Cowboys.

Barber will have some help in the Cowboy backfield for the 2008 NFL football season in the form of two NFL draft picks. Felix Jones is a speed demon out of Arkansas that should be a wonderful change up from Barber and his bruising style. Jones can flat out play, and should make some noise in fantasy football circles in years to come.

The other NFL draft pick for the Cowboy's backfield is Georgia Tech standout Tashard Choice. Choice is a do it all type back that will play prominently in the Dallas backfield as well. Choice slipped in under the radar to a degree and will be much better than expected by Dallas fans.

As far as 2008 NFL fantasy football value, Barber is the only one that rates as a strong buy. Marion should carry the load in big Dallas, and will get his share of touchdowns with this high powered offense.

Expect the youngsters Choice and Jones to take a bit of value from Barber, but not enough to keep him out of your fantasy backfield.

Receivers—The Dallas Cowboys no longer start and end with Terrell Owens. Owens is certainly a huge part of the Dallas offense, but this is Tony Romo's team. Owens should be another 1200 yard season waiting to happen, and will get his touchdowns like usual, but this year may be the year that Dallas receiver Patrick Crayton breaks out big time. Jason Witten will be brilliant as usual in 2008 NFL fantasy football circles.

Rate Owens near the top of your 2008 NFL fantasy football chart for receivers but expect a slight drop from him. Crayton will elevate to the upper middle tier of the chart and is certainly worth a look in the middle NFL fantasy football rounds.

Witten is a top tier pick at the tight end position. If you can get him, go for it. All other Cowboy receivers are simply not quite ready to step into the fantasy lineups yet.

Kicker—Second year man Nick Folk made the Pro Bowl last season as a rookie. This year should be even better. With the offense that Dallas puts on the field, Folk is a great kicker to put in your 2008 NFL fantasy football lineup.