Bleacher Report - Articles by Tim McGhee

Tiger's Fearsome Foursome: Elin, Rachel, Jaimee, and the Queen of Gen X

Tim McGhee — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:23:19 -0500

The inclusion of Jaimee Grubbs in Tiger's lineup necessitates a continuation of the story. This is the third in the serial following Tiger playing football at West Virginia in 1979 and the sagas of Elin and Rachel.

*****

"Here. I borrowed this from Leonard Nimoy," says Winona, handing the Star Trek transporter remote to Elin. "Let's get out of West Virginia in the '70s. Yuk!"

"This is silly!" laughs Tiger. "Watch!" he mocks as he snatches the remote from his wife. "We're going to..."

The five of them have instantly left the Woods' house and are standing in a holiday-decorated retail mall store. It's Tiger, Elin, Rachel, Winona, and the tranny 1979 West Virginia back-up quarterback in the pink Jacqueline Kennedy outfit. A big sign advertising AT&T's offering of iPhones with 3G at 99 dollars blares before them.

"We're not in Kansas any more," says Rachel.

"No, you're in Nebraska," says the woman in the white jump suit walking up to them from their left. "I'm Jaimee, I just flew in here to Omaha from Vegas, and boy, do I have big news for you, Elin."

Elin places her hands over her mouth. "You cannot be serious!"

"Serious, Blondie. Twenty times, at last count."

Elin is numb. That was so cruel, she thought. Today is bad enough without this Jaimee dog messing it up further. The others want to help, especially Tiger, but that would be awkward.

"Okay," says Elin after some contemplation. "I'm in charge, since I'm the one getting the screws."

Rachel and Jaimee snicker together.

"You two golddiggers," Elin shouts, "Over there! Out of my sight!" The pair grows frightened and complies.

"Tiger, get out of Rachel's sizzler skirt and for God's sake, trade the tighty-whities in for manly boxers to go along with your new Dockers. I don't care what your women say."

Tiger stares.

"Go! Go! You, too, Backup! Go to a sports bar! Jeez Louise! Queenie. See if you can keep your sticky hands off the merchandise and pay for something. Just buy me something! Anything! Treat me right, Ryder! You're the only one who hasn't done the boffo with my husband!"

"Does he play music?" Winona asks seductively.

"He seems to be a virtuoso with those two woodwinds over there! Go!"

Elin slowly walks to Rachel and Jaimee. They begin to notice their attire. Mrs. Woods is doing the Daisy Duke very well. Jaimee is comfortable in all white, interestingly. And Rachel is happy Backup has disappeared since she hates to wear the same outfit as anyone else.

"Okay, ladies...er...," says Elin. "How are we going to figure this out?"

"The only way. Competition," says Rachel.

"I'll do it," says Jaimee.

"Well, I'm in, too," adds Elin, smiling. "I didn't sign a prenup. If I lose, one of you two will be paying me for life."

"Four," says Winona approaching from the right. She's carrying a University of Nebraska bag with Calloway irons and cheap Walter Hagen metal woods.

Rachel doesn't notice her. "What's the game, girls?" she asks.

"Duh! Golf!" says Miss Ryder.

The women look around at each other, grinning.

"Delicious irony," says Winona.

"Hey!" a man shouts from several feet away. "Pay for the clubs, honey, or...hey, you're..."

"That's right," Winona says.

"Well, keep them," the man says. "It's an honor to have you steal from me."

Elin realizes that she has not actually played golf in a while, even putt-putt. Rachel and Jaimee have been with many golfers in the biblical sense, but still don't know how to set up a round. Winona despises athletics, except perhaps New Zealand rugby, and only then when she's had too much expensive pinot noir she's "obtained" from Ralph's market in NoHo.

"How do we do this, Blondie?" Jaimee asks.

"Do I look like a golfer?" Elin shouts.

"Hey," says Rachel, "here's an idea. I once took the rope hard to a high official at that college football thing, the BCS or something. He said he does the impossible with an impossible situation."

"That describes us to a tee," Jaimee says.

"How do we find him?" asks Elin.

"Well, let's step in here to AT&T and teleconference the guy," suggests Rachel.

Before anyone knows it, the fearsome foursome are waiting for the guy on the other end of the laptop to pick up the phone.

"John Swofford's office, Fred Haines speaking," says the phone. An image appears. It's a gaunt middle aged man with a jet black combover wearing a dark gray glen plaid suit. A Confederate flag, the Stars and Bars, hangs behind his moderately large head.

"Freddie, it's Rachel!"

"I'm not speaking to you," Freddie says with a pout.

"Freddie, baby, Tiger was business. You're the man."

Elin boils over. She removes the sand wedge from Winona's bag and takes a backswing at the backs of Legs' knees. Jaimee stops her.

"Okay, Rachel," Freddie says with resignation. "You're so hot and I love you. What do you need to know?"

"I need to know how the BCS or whatever you are would set up a championship with us four," Elin says.

"One of two ways. You could do it like the Ryder Cup."

"What's the Ryder Cup?" asks Jaimee.

Winona ponders. "A C when I'm skinny."

"What's the other way?" asks Elin.

"We at the Bowl Championship Series arrange polls of human voters..."

"As opposed to computer voters?" quips Jaimee.

"Along with the computer voters," says Freddie.

"That's really scary," says Rachel.

"We run the weekly poll results beginning in mid-season. At the end, somewhere around the first weekend of December, a championship game is set up."

"Cool!" exclaims Rachel. "Can you do that for us four?"

"Only two," says Freddie.

"Two?" asks Elin.

"That's right. All we can do is two or the presidents of the universities get all torqued," replies Freddie.

Elin swings the sand wedge again and kneecaps Rachel. "Why me? Why me?" shouts The Legged One.

Tiger's wife turns to Jaimee. "You want a piece of my short game, Twenty?

"No. I'm good."

"Then it looks like me and Queenie for all the marbles. Try around one hundred million of them, Spock.

"That's a haul," says Winona.

Three hours later, at The Cold Spot sports bar

"Twenny?" asks Tiger, head weaving, eyes glassy, finally wearing pants.

"And," says Jaimee, "I have photos of every one of them."

"Nice touch," Rachel says.

"Twenny."

Backup has taken off his Jacqueline Kennedy pink pillbox hat. Tiger has it cocked on his head like a beret. However, the funky QB and Rachel still look like twinsies.

"Why couldn't you dress like Princess Di?" Rachel asks.

"Last week," Backup replies.

Cackles emit from down the mall. The four look around at each other. Laughter gets louder. Suddenly, Winona and Elin stagger into The Cold Spot arm-in-arm to the table.

"I guess the round went okay?" Backup asks.

"She cheats!" exclaims Elin.

"No," says Winona.

"A mulligan a hole is cheating, you cheating hussy!"

"Life is full of do-overs, Mrs. Tiger Woods!"

"Cheater!"

"Well, you cheat, too, Bomber."

"I like how you kicked your ball out of a hazard, what, nineteen times!"

"Twenny," says Tiger.

"Well," says Winona, "I don't do well in sand."

"And, your scorecard! If you were an accountant, you'd be jailed for embezzlement."

"Oh," Winona says, "I'd get out of that."

Silence. Then, more cackles from Elin and Winona. They collapse in the floor, Daisy Duke and Ryder in the little black dress from West Virginia. Tiger gazes at Winona as she is laughing and writhing. Twenny, he thinks. Backup lusts for Tiger. Oh, yeah, he says to himself. Jaimee and Rachel look at Backup, then to each other.

Nah.

Elin lies motionless on the Cold Spot floor looking up to the ceiling. There to her left is her BFF. If her husband could play as much as Chopsticks on the piano, that man-bagging hag would be on him like he was the reincarnation of Hendrix. Sitting above her are Rachel and Jaimee. Sad. So sad, they are. And, here's Backup, probably the most pure of the bunch.

"Twenny," the still-inebriated Tiger says. "Sorry." He's pathetic. She smiles at him

Elin thinks of the old song from the 60s. The games people play, now. Every night and every day, now. Talking about you and me, Tiger. The games people play.

1979 West Virginia, Elin, and Rachel: Cat Fight In The Hills

Tim McGhee — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 10:45:22 -0500

This is the final installment, a continuation of "Let's Assume Tiger Woods Played Football at West Virginia in 1979."

*****

Tiger snares around five Oliver Luck passes a game as his possession receiver. The golfer-turned-football player also punts for distance and accuracy, driving or chipping inside the 10 every time. Phenomenal.

Elin has set up housekeeping on Green Bag Road, where she has taken it literally by dressing in green bags even on trips to the grocery store. Still fashion challenged, that beautiful woman.

Rachel sports a Coppertone tan year 'round. You can always find her in a circa 1971 ultra-short sizzler skirt, if you find her at all. The muscle-legged chick is either at a) the dance club Fever manning the rope, b) partaking in her daily sacrament of reconciliation in the confessional at St. Mary's, or c) in her bedroom. It is in these private moments when she locks her door and gazes at the framed posters of Tiger holding a driver. Scrawled on the sky blue wall with a short pencil are the words, "He's Mine!"

Sick. But true.

Although an Interdisiplinary Studies major, Mr. Woods seldom attends class as he sleeps until mid-afternoon. Tiger is nocturnal, either practicing his short-irons at midnight, punting in the dark at Mountaineer Field, or surreptitiously frequenting Fever, working on his disco splits. Burn that mutha down.

His gorgeous wife, fair of skin, clad in a orange plaid blouse (aghast!) tied at the waist and maroon golf slacks dotted with little white men swinging tiny clubs, became suspicious. Tiger often came home drenched in sweat. Was he benching 315, as had been reported in Sports Illustrated? Or, was he swimming laps fully clothed at the natatorium?

Neither, my dear.

You see, Rachel always watched Mr. Woods at Fever stretching his hammies before he hit the dance floor. She was most impressed by the 3-D man of her prints. Stalking him, Rachel discovered his habit of visiting the links with a wedge as heaven holds a half moon. That, she decided, will be the scene of their dalliance.

And, soon their heat was consummated.

Talk about closest to the pin.

One early morning, Elin hears a stirring at the front door of their Green Bag Road home. Wearing his number 88 navy jersey and absolutely nothing else except for his gray tied up sweat pants, she discovers her husband entering the living room with the sizzler skirt over his tighty-whities.

"Ah, ha!" she exclaims, "You weren't at the Nat!"

"How...uh...do you know that?" the best golfer in the world asks.

"You're not wet!"

Surprisingly, the cross-dressing back-up quarterback appears in a Jackie Kennedy Onassis pink suit and a pillbox hat. "Listen, honey," he coos, "the hubby is involved in extracurricular activities with a lioness of a female at the Fever."

Elin pauses, and pauses again. Her face twists, then contorts. "Extracurricular, you say?"

A cameraman from WPXI-TV in Pittsburgh barges through the door with floodlights. Behind him is Rachel herself, holding a microphone, also wearing a Jackie Kennedy Onassis pink suit and a pillbox hat. The quarterback and the reporter look at each other agape.

Rachel snaps herself back into her professional mode. "Tiger! Did you have an affair with me all over the back nine at Lakeview Country Club?" she asks sternly.

"I'm not talking to anyone!" he exclaims.

"Eldrick." the funky QB says, "turn on the television."

Tiger hits the power button on the remote. A new all-sports network, ESPN, appears as a tall, skinny anchor named Chris Berman goes on and on about Tiger Woods' indiscretions.

"The world knows, cutie," say Rachel and the back-up simultaneously.

"My reputation is ruined!" Tiger moans as he weeps. "I'll never recover!"

"And the scorned one is the last to know," says Elin, who has taken this opportunity to channel Daisy Duke and change into denim short-shorts and a halter top, "And, furthermore, it's time to kick some girlfriend butt." She crouches and heads for Rachel.

"I'll never recover my sparkling reputation!"

A poof of smoke engulfs the room. Everyone holds their lungs and coughs. As the air clears, a lovely shorter woman appears in a little black dress cut to her navel. She is unrecognizable to the others, except Tiger. The dark pixie and beautiful brown eyes clue him in.

"Winona!"

"Greetings from 2009!" Winona Ryder says. "I am here, Mr. Eldrick Tiger Woods, to reassure you that you can recover from your stupidity. After I used the five finger discount at Saks to the tune of 6,000 dollars, I hosted Saturday Night Live and played Spock's mom in the Star Trek movie."

"How can I believe you, Ryder?" asks Tiger with venom. "You've always been stupid."

"Now, darling," says Winona.

"You're not very bright when it comes to affairs of the heart," Tiger says.

"'Affair' being the operative word," Winona says with a great comeback.

"Hey, short stuff, you've been played by more musicians than 'Free Bird,'" says Tiger with a smile and a much better comeback.

"Like to have a hundred for every time I heard that. So, my Tiger, forget all about it and let's go for a drive!"

"Tiger!" shouts Elin. "Don't! You'll crash...you'll crash...you'll crash..."

Winona steps up. "We'll crash that White House party."

Let's Assume Tiger Woods Played Football for West Virginia in 1979

Tim McGhee — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 15:19:48 -0500

Tiger Woods is a 33 year old man among boys.

He has chosen 1979 West Virginia in which to fulfill his frustrated football fantasies because a) when you take off the flannel shirts and the Levis 505s and put those Mountaineer women in Donna Summer spandex, it's a good thing, and b) he therefore angers the boys because he's a babe magnet (21st century language), or stud (1979 language), and they don't know what to do about it.

Mr. Woods, as the boys call him, is a combination wideout/punter since a) he possesses the concentration of Job, b) he's over six feet tall and cut like an Adonis, and c) he understands how similar kicking to the "coffin corner" (1979) or inside the 20 (21st century) is to stroking an up-and-down two feet from the pin.

Tiger plays for West Virginia head coach Frank Cignetti, father of future Pittsburgh offensive coordinator Frank Cignetti, Jr. This is unfortunate since, in spite of the fine man coach Cignetti Sr. is, his offensive strategy can be described by the popular cheer, "Run the ball, run the ball, pass, punt."

Things improve for Tiger as the 1979 season progresses. The ineffective starting QB, tormented by questions arising from his cross-dressing habits, is replaced in the game against Cal-Berkeley by sophomore Oliver Luck, the future father of Stanford's quarterback Andrew Luck. I'm not making that up.

I'm not making this up, either. After the victory over Cal, Tiger meets Elin Nordegren, the best looking tall, blue-eyed, boot-clad, hot-panted, tube-topped (1979, not a fashion plate yet) blonde in a five state area, on the lighted dance floor of the popular Morgantown club Fever during the tune "Disco Inferno." Their eyes meet at the line "Burn, baby, burn!"

Well, yes, I did make part of that up. Poetic license. Work with me.

Holding the rope outside Fever is the absolutely stacked (1979) Rachel Uchitel. Rachel is built like a brick cathedral, where she the converted Catholic visits daily to confess her numerous sins, which happen on a regular basis.

Rachel will allow any hot (21st century) Sigma Kappa in a tight black dress (1979) to enter, but keeps every amorous engineering major out on the sidewalk. Alas, the gearheads are left with no other choice than to check their FORTRAN computer programs at Clark Hall.

Tiger informs Elin that his Pierpont Hall roomies are at Clark Hall checking their FORTRAN programs. The newly-minted pair will be alone. Twenty minutes later, Tiger and Elin are out the Fever door. Rachel seductively pats Tiger's fanny as he walks by, but Tiger thinks it's Elin. How hot is that (21st century), Tiger asks himself.

Hell with it, Tiger says. He and Elin drive in his 1979 Toyota Corolla across High Street down Walnut to the Monongahela River. On the first attempt, Tiger flags down a tug boat pushing two barges of coal. They board. The captain, resting his Natural Light near the sonar, walks the couple to the bridge. In ten minutes, they're married.

Where do you think Pam and Jim got the idea?

NEXT: Rachel plots a devious plan.

For West Virginia, a Win Is a Win Is a Win, but Look a Little Deeper

Tim McGhee — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 10:36:38 -0500

Looking a little deeper at the West Virginia win over ninth-ranked Pittsburgh is essential to understanding the current state of the Mountaineer football program.

Here are the good points

WVU is 8-3, and fans are disappointed. When I was in college back during the Paleolithic era in 1975, the Mounties were 8-3, went to the Peach Bowl, and we were giddy. Expectations have risen that much, and that isn't anything but good.

West Virginia wins ugly, but wins indeed. South Florida kicked Mountaineer booty, but WVU played ugly games and was in those games at Auburn and Cincinnati until the end.

There were more tears on the West Virginia sidelines after last week's Pittsburgh game than at an all-women's Autumn in New York film festival. Seems the players have bought into coach Bill Stewart and his brand of inspiration.

Stew coached his heart out and lost his voice, similar to Dave Wannstedt throwing his crutches in '07.

Quarterback Jarrett Brown is a true winner, a good-looking man who has spent time on the catwalk, but a simply ugly QB. The only times he played poorly this season were a few minutes at Auburn and while he was feeling the effects of getting his brain sloshed around. Against Cincinnati, he was a champ.

Some knowledgeable fans want Jarrett to move on and get the more talented Geno Smith out there. Even though WVU will do well with Eugene, I think West Virginia will miss the big man's guts and leadership.

However, we can't ignore the bad

Don Nehlen coached a tried and true I-back offense setting up home runs. Rich Rodriguez stayed within an offensive system he developed. However, Bill Stewart coaches offense by his gut, moved by a feeling he doesn't even understand.

Stew's offensive philosophy extends to his defensive strategy. His propensity to not be able to satisfactorily explain what the hell is going on frustrates fans.

The head man got a signature win, but a) it was at home, and b) will the real Bill Stull please stand up?

Nehlen got his signature road win in his 23rd regular season game against No. 9 Oklahoma (sorry, Florida, bowls don't count). Rich Rod reeled his in at Blacksburg against No. 17 Virginia Tech toward the end of his second season. Even after being oh-so-close at Auburn and Cincinnati, Stew has yet to pull it off. It's important.

The assistants aren't coaching. No one has told Jarrett Brown how to run a three-step, five-step progression passing offense, thereby squandering the uber talents of the receivers as well as Jarrett's cannon arm. And what's up with the corners?

Speaking of the corners, the safeties have to roll over to help, leaving the linebackers to stop the run. Occasionally, a blitz or two works, but a defense this badass should be able to send four or five whenever it wishes.

Finally, where are the solid tackling of the Rich Rod days and the shutdown special teams Nehlen used to field?

What does this all mean?

West Virginia football will not enjoy national significance until the assistants get it together, gather the highly ranked recruits around, and teach some basics. Only then will Stewart's intuitive Jedi Kung Fu Lao-Tsu Tao Te Tseng approach to college football work.

West Virginia: Don't Show Stew the Door, but Tell Him What It Looks Like

Tim McGhee — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:23:32 -0500

I've been a major proponent of West Virginia head coach Bill Stewart, but now is the time to reconsider my position. Not change, mind you. I'm not going to join the Fire Bill Stewart blog, but I will seriously look at the next card.

Don't necessarily show coach Stew the door, but tell him what it looks like. Describe it to him, in great detail. Remind him of what awaits him if, like Aldous Huxley and Jim Morrison and the doors of perception, he breaks on through to the other side.

While you're at it, fill him in on the fact that West Virginia University football is a substantial business, that the school needs the revenue. Make sure he understands the tremendous investment Milan Puskar is. The seats need to be sat upon.

Winning, and the promise of more winning, will put the butts on the bleachers.

I had the extreme and rare pleasure of speaking with Don Nehlen during my one singular visit to a luxury box for the 2003 Cincinnati game. Among other things, coach Nehlen told me that he knew the game was going to be a successful one when the four top corners were filled.

That day, the corners were packed. The Mountaineers lost a tough one, and the fans left disappointed, but the promise remained. Two years later, West Virginia won the Sugar Bowl, finishing fifth in the final national polls.

Now, I look to the horizon of WVU football and I don't see the wins and I don't see the promise. I don't see coaches who will use their assets to the best benefit of the team.

I see quarterback Jarrett Brown left out there naked with no coach showing him how to go through his progressions before he takes off like a banshee out of hell.

I see, along with other knowledgeable fans, that the obvious way to beat South Florida and Cincinnati was to ram the ball between the tackles. I saw Ryan Clarke laying the leather on linebackers and safeties...but only for a couple of plays until the coaches decided to attempt to dribble the smallest backs through the line.

I see NFL quality wideouts being squandered by the coaches who can't tell the man with the gun for an arm how to find them.

I see little to no pass rush. I saw blitzes early in the season, but not now.

I see coaches failing to effectively compensate for weak corners by rolling safeties over, leaving the crossing route open and providing no run defense support.

And, worse, I don't see any of this improving before Friday's Backyard Brawl and especially next season and following seasons.

Success in the next three games, Pittsburgh, Rutgers, and the bowl game, one at a time, is most critical to the future of football in Morgantown. The boosters must get involved. They must impress upon Bill Stewart that any season with fewer than 10 wins is completely unacceptable.

It's too late for Mountaineer pride and good, old-fashioned West Virginia football. We're beyond out-blocking, out-tackling, and out-hitting.

It's time to deliver.

West Virginia-Pittsburgh: A Six-Pack Of Memories

Tim McGhee — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:59:44 -0500

West Virginia University versus the University of Pittsburgh, the Backyard Brawl. It's as bloodthirsty as college football can get.

Separated by an hour's worth of hardtop ribbon, we all know each other. We know each other well and exist together, but one week out of the year, it's ugly.

Legendary West Virginia football play-by-play man, the late Jack Fleming, got so whipped up during one Backyard Brawl pregame that he screamed into the microphone, "I have to take a Valium!"

Forget anti-anxiety medications. We all want to be hopped up for this one.

Here, in chronological order, are my six favorites:

1975

I was a sophomore psychology student at Marshall University in Huntington, WV, watching the first half of regional ABC coverage from the apartment of my friend Mike.

When you're a psych major at Marshall, the people in the classes are indeed crazy. But, the coeds are really good-looking. One of them, the buxom (definitely) Lynn (I think) tracked me down at Mike's and invited me to watch the second half with her.

Mike understood.

In a matter of minutes Lynn and I were perched from the top bunk in her South Hall dorm room, her small black-and-white rabbit-eared television tuned in to the game.

The second most memorable event was WVU quarterback Dan Kendra hitting wideout Randy Swinson with four seconds remaining in the 14-14 deadlock.

Tied for most memorable was West Virginia straight-on kicker Bill McKenzie and his walkoff field goal to win it at 17-14. The fans stormed the turf.

I had high school friends up there. Turning to Lynn, I said, "I would give anything—absolutely anything—to be in Morgantown right now!"

Half-hour later, Mike and I were toasting the victory at his place.

1982

Thankfully, by this time I had given up psychology and random women to become an engineer in love. My pretty wife Cindy the CPA, along with her long legs and brains, joined me at the fall picnic sponsored by my employer Union Carbide, a multinational corporation that no longer exists.

Even though almost all Carbide engineers would have never been caught dead with a degree from West Virginia University, the management thought it would be nice to rig up a large television under the shelter for the ABC national telecast.

One of my cohorts, a Stevens Institute of Technology alum, stood next to the monkey bars, placed two chicken eggs in his hardhat, and rammed the hat onto his head. Everyone laughed. There's your candidate for Valium, I thought.

Cindy saw the egg drippings and suggested we watch the game.

Quarterback Jeff Hostetler had led the visiting Mountaineers to a 13-0 lead over the No. 2 Panthers late in the third. Seeing that score was worth every dollar of tuition, fees, and room and board I paid at West Virginia.

After watching Dan Marino's stirring comeback, however, I wanted a refund.

Down 13-16 with one play remaining, West Virginia's head coach Don Nehlen called for a 52-yard field goal attempt. Kicker Paul Woodside came within inches of sailing it through.

Damn it.

"You'd need a micrometer to measure that one," said the engineer from Purdue.

Ooooo...kay.

1983

Things changed dramatically in one short year. A severe recession slammed Carbide hard, forcing the company to lay me off. Unemployment hit 20 percent in West Virginia. As any engineer worth his micrometer would say, there was no molecular motion in that economy.

However, there were reasons to count our blessings. Cindy and I had a) a roof over our heads, paid for with a mortgage, b) a job each, as a stockbroker firm thought it wise to hire me, c) a baby on the way, and d) two standing room tickets to the Backyard Brawl.

Life was good.

We lived in Charleston, a two-and-a-half-hour interstate drive from Morgantown. The tickets came from a raffle our friend Anna sponsored for her college class. Cindy and I piled into her 1976 orange Ford Pinto at 9:30 that morning to drive to the noon game. We were late and could have watched it on CBS' regional coverage, but it's Pittsburgh, man!

Arriving at the stadium just in time and taking our seats on a grassy bank, Cindy was a real trooper, a pregnant and queasy trooper, but nevertheless a trooper. From that grass, we witnessed a remarkable sight. Jeff Hostetler started his Mountaineers from their 10 midway through the fourth and marched them down the field, eating up clock, turf, Panthers, and anything else in his way.

From the Pittsburgh 4, Hoss sent everyone left and took the naked bootleg in for the winning score, the first West Virginia victory over Pitt since I was with ol' what-was-her-name.

1989

Two little Cindys circled our feet, along with Ross' and Anna's daughter and the daughter of Joe and Grace, all buddies from the Carbide days. The investment business had done well for me as clients and media persistently called for my advice. Not a bad situation.

The markets were definitely not the issue as the 10 of us got together to watch ESPN's telecast of the Mountaineers and the Panthers and their late September date in Morgantown.

Quarterback Major Harris burned the rug off the ground as West Virginia took a 31-0 lead into the third. Most everyone in our house on Rolling Hills was as happy as clams in the mud.

Most everyone.

The true colors started to fly, however, as Pittsburgh put together a rally. The ladies kept it to themselves, but Ross and I were visibly shocked while Joe rooted Panther quarterback Alex Van Pelt on. One Pitt touchdown begat another as Pitt's defense stopped Major and his men cold.

Three thoughts resulted from the game: a) how in God's name could a Don Nehlen team give up 31 in a matter of minutes, b) what does one do after Pitt rings up five scores to your none, and c) who will save Joe?

As the game fell apart, I did notice one thing: Megan, our older daughter, the one who was with Jeff Hostetler while in utero, would more often than not put down her My Little Ponies to turn her attention to the television.

2004

Thanksgiving Day, and the Backyard Brawl was bringing up the rear in the holiday's football coverage. Pittsburgh hosted the event at Heinz Field along with ESPN.

Just a few months after the '89 game, the stock and bond business had worn my young health paper-thin. For a living, I sold a few odd things through the 90s and the early part of the 21st century, then finally gained re-entrance to the engineering profession. I was ecstatic to be back.

Through it all, my football fandom writing reached prolific proportions. I penned a novel about a pine-riding wideout at a fictitious state university. I covered the NFL's Pittsburgh for The Football Network and Lindy's. The only way to keep me quiet was to shove a screen and a keyboard in my face.

Cindy and I were empty nesters. That day, Megan the Mountaineer Maniac was with her fiance at his home in New York screaming her head off. Our younger daughter Annie was barely a fan of any ball sport but found it convenient to spend part of her college break with me to escape Black Friday.

The action seesawed as Annie and her friend Meg sat in amazement at my ability to remain relatively quiet. Must have been the Coronas.

Rich Rod directed quarterback Rasheed Marshall to lead a last-minute winning drive. On the final play of that drive, Marshall took off as the receiver. The pass barely missed his fingertips. My beer and I collapsed into the floor. The conversation went something like this:

Annie: "Uh...are you okay, Dad?"

Tim: "Uh, yeah. Yeah."

Meg: "Took it pretty hard, didn't you, Tim?"

Tim: "Always do. It's Pittsburgh."

2007

I never wear school colors to games. That just pisses Megan off. But, Rich Rod called for a Gold Rush as the No. 2 Mountaineers played rude hosts to Pittsburgh's hapless 4-7 Panthers. I bought a gold Polo sweatshirt at Kohl's, pulled it over four other shirts to protect me from the frigid night air, and went to Cindy's firm's tailgate.

Their spot in the lot was just over the fence from the loaded fireworks. When West Virginia wins this game, the 100th edition of the Backyard Brawl, we will go to the BCS national championship game. The rockets will then glare red, on cue.

I met an attorney who was wearing a full wolf's skin for a hat. He said the day had been like Christmas morning. His wife was jumping up and down. Her friends were jumping up and down. Doctors, lawyers, and certified public accountants were all jumping up and down. I turned to one of Cindy's partners. The conversation went something like this:

Tim: "I don't like how this feels."

Partner: "Don't worry."

I was.

The law of conservation of energy says energy cannot be created or destroyed. However, Mountaineer Field that night was absolutely metaphysical as the team showed up in their all-gold jerseys and pants. If there had been a roof on Milan Puskar, it would now be orbital.

Then, the game started.

Pittsburgh coach Dave Wannstedt was throwing his crutches. Rich Rod threw the bubble screen. Panthers everywhere celebrated Pat McAfee's two missed chip shots. Rich Rod called the bubble screen several times. Pittsburgh held the ball 14 minutes in the third quarter.

When Rich got the ball back, he ran the bubble screen left, then ran the bubble screen right.

Partners' Wives: "What's that play we keep running?"

Megan: "It's the ****ing bubble screen!"

Partners' Wives: "Well, it's not working."

Neither did the fireworks.

My family and I were walking up Law School Hill to the car after the carnage.

Megan: "What the hell happened, Dad?"

Tim: "Well, we were playing for the national championship. They were playing in the Backyard Brawl. Rivalries rule."

Ohio State's Columbus, West Virginia's Morgantown: A Tale of Two Cities

Tim McGhee — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:07:00 -0500

It was the best of times, it was the, well, really...it wasn't too bad.

Amazingly, Charles Dickens still applies after 150 years.

One city got a fair shake from the officials. The other, well, uh, not so much.

The replay guy in one city stayed on Google searching for 3-D images of Jennifer Love Hewitt while his counterpart looked for and got the perfect opportunity to directly affect those in the other city by playing kingmaker in a third city.

How bad was it? This bad: even ESPN's Mark May, not known to be a friend of West Virginia, stood up for the Mountaineers.

Let's try to leave the armed robbery alone for now.

Can't do it.

Despite West Virginia's propensity to consistently hand over their wallets in the form of turnovers and poor play calling, that intrusion by the attention-seeking, top-ranking-team suck-up replay official was a seven-point swing. This is not to mention the momentum that permeated through the Cincinnati crowd and was vacuumed out of the Mountaineers at a bad time.

Meanwhile, Notre Dame (what?!!!) got boned in a similar fashion at Heinz Field, the home of the future opponent of Cincinnati which will essentially be the Big East championship ga—don't get me started.

Too late.

There is enough evidence of (can't use foul language in the B/R forum) in the $crew Everyone (else) Conference and the Big Easy (for two) Conference to warrant an NCAA investigation.

An investigation by those backing the Bowl Championship Series where money talks and three losses or more walks?

Yeah. Right.

In one city, they boo the coach. In the other city, they boo the coach.

Tough room.

In one city, the coach is booed by those (read: many) who think his play calling is much too conservative.

In the other city, the coach is booed because that city just doesn't like any coach.

In one city, the coach has led the team to a conference championship and a berth in the granddaddy of them all, but is still booed.

In the other city, talent has been squandered (refer to Mountaineer Ryan Clarke, pictured) in that city's inability to finish off quality opponents, resulting in the coach being the recipient of major boos.

Neither of them really deserve the boos, but such is life in major college football.

"It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."

That's Dickens' last line in his historical novel A Tale of Two Cities. And, that's the difference between the Rose Bowl and the PapaJohns.com Bowl.

*****

I heartily recommend Hangover Easy on Neil Avenue in Columbus. The Pabst Blue Ribbon is exquisite on game day. If PBR was good enough for my good friend during his time at a top-notch engineering school, it's definitely good enough for me here in the 21st century.

West Virginia-Cincinnati: Hitting the Belief Point

Tim McGhee — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:33:04 -0500

Final afternoon thoughts on West Virginia's most significant visit to an opponent's campus in 27 years.

*****

That big guy in the picture is a winner, through and through. The only thing wrong with Jarrett's quarterback play is his relative inexperience. That's why he can't go through his progressions and that's why he forces the ball, gets happy feet, and takes off when that primary receiver isn't open.

Mountaineer fans and coaches alike have to give him a chance. If he can't produce before halftime, Geno has to go in.

It's been done before. Cincinnati won the Big East last year using four different QBs.

*****

Similarly, Bill Stewart is a winner, both on the field and off. He, too, is suffering from not being in the canoe long enough. Mountaineer fans have to give him a chance. And, tonight he has to coach like there is no tomorrow. In college football, there may not be.

*****

In my previous two articles this week, I did not express my surprise that the line started at nine-and-a-half and dropped to nine. Well, I am shocked. I was originally looking for 13-and-a-half to 14. Either way, I don't see West Virginia covering unless there is a radical change in the quality of play in all three facets of the game.

That was harsh, but true.

*****

Tonight's X-factor is Tavon Austin. If he can give WVU the moxie Noel Devine hasn't been able to give recently, Tavon could, as a true freshman, lead the Mountaineers back to the what I call the Belief Point. The Belief Point (BP) is the juncture at which the young men suddenly think they can win this thing and therefore become very dangerous people.

*****

West Virginia hit BP in the locker room at halftime of the 1984 Boston College game when Don Nehlen told them they were going to bring the house after Doug Flutie and "have some fun out there." It worked. Result? 20-6 halftime deficit erased for a 21-20 victory.

*****

The 1982 Mountaineers reached BP somewhere in transit to Norman, Oklahoma. 42-27 WVU.

*****

Bill Stewart, back when everyone liked him, implored his charges by explaining to them how to beat 2007 Oklahoma, or anyone, leading them to BP in the pregame locker room. That would be West Virginia 48-28, making Jimmy Johnson and Barry Switzer simultaneously look like idiots.

*****

Rich Rodriguez's Sugar Bowl team hit BP somewhere during Steve Slaton's third touchdown run and never let up, even though ABC lost hope right before the fake punt.

*****

In Cincinnati, the Mountaineers need to reach that Belief Point about two days ago.

*****

In conclusion, the Bearcats are for real. They have speed on both sides of the ball, giving the Mountaineers very difficult matchups. And, they're playing hosts in a viper pit. I repeat: WVU will have to undergo a major change to even pull off a Connecticut.

If West Virginia beats Cincinnati tonight, I would have to rank that victory at least fourth on my list. That would place them right up there with No. 3 1982 Oklahoma, No. 2 2007 Oklahoma, and No. 1 1984 Boston College.

And finally, if WVU falls behind and comes back to win, it's number one, baby.

Ohio State University: Hineygate And Civility Live Here

Tim McGhee — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:01:42 -0500

Time for my very cool pilgrimage to Columbus for an Ohio State game. My good friend moved his family up there from West Virginia in 2004 for better employment possibilities. He then purchased Buckeye season passes like any good person from Cols would.

Spreading the wealth, he hosts several of us to each individual game. This year, I get Iowa. Lucky guy I am.

Concerning the Buckeye-Hawkeye matchup, my friend and I had a telephone conversation this week that went something like this...

Me: Too bad Northwestern beat Iowa. Rather had given OSU the chance to end the unbeaten streak.

Him: Uh...if we win, we go to the Rose Bowl.

Me: Oh...

Guess I have a lot to learn about the Big Ten.

I'm a Mountaineer fan. As one of the B/R featured columnists covering West Virginia and a season ticket holder, I used to think Morgantown knew how to pull off the pre-game party.

Not so fast, my friends.

Spend a couple of hours on Lane Avenue. West Virginia University can't match it.

My friend took me to the game against Marshall in 2004. We witnessed a few unexpected events, one of which was the necessity of Mike Nugent's walkoff 56 yarder to break the tie and win it for the Buckeyes.

Another was Hineygate. The band was awesome, the crowd was unhinged, and we all were shoulder-to-shoulder. A big pit of people. Took my buddy and me back to our 1970s, separate but very equal college days. Then, it happened.

Women crawled onto the shoulders of guys. "Show us your ****!" was the battle cry. No babe took it upon herself to partake...

...until this supermodel hoisted herself up there. Brown eyes, brunette, beautiful visage, nice...

"She's not going to do it," my friend said.

"Show us your ****!" came the screams.

"I agree," I said. "She's way too pretty."

"Show us your ****!"

He smiled. "What would we tell the--"

And there they were, tanned tatas.

"Let's tell them the truth," I said. "They'll never believe it."

We looked at each other and laughed. "I think that's the first time that's happened to us," he said.

"We're getting so old," I replied, "it may be the last."

Hineygate trips for 2005 Texas, 2006 Michigan, 2007 Illinois, and 2008 Ohio University ... so far it has been.

The Varsity Club is much calmer and the beer is just as cold. We finished our pregame there.

Now, for the game. I've never been in a crowd of over 100,000 until The Herd came to town. The noise was like a 747 was starting up engine number two. But, unlike Mountaineer Field in Morgantown, the Buckeye fans were relatively nice.

There they were, confronted by a lowly C-USA team in the hallowed Big Ten, barely holding Marshall back, and the fans in the stands were asking questions about the invaders.

"Where is Marshall?"

"Isn't that the school that had that airplane crash?"

"They're playing pretty well."

I live an interstate hour from Marshall, so I answered their questions and continued the dialogue. It struck me rather hard how nice they were. Maybe the students in the student section were sowing wild oats, but those around us were so civil.

What a new and different way to look at college football.

And, it has continued and actually grown. The Lane Avenue crowds expanded greatly for No. 2 Texas and reached enormous proportions for No. 2 Michigan, but most everyone essentially acted like adults.

Much like Jim Tressel himself.

West Virginia at Cincinnati: No Upset Alert Here

Tim McGhee — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:34:03 -0500

Run, don't walk, away from your sports book representative on this West Virginia at Cincinnati game. The 10 points aren't worth diddly. No upset alert here.

The Mountaineers, from coaches to players, and surrounded by the fans, are looking for a victory by looking for momentum. That's ridiculous. If you have to find mo', he's just not there.

West Virginia is winning ugly, which is a euphemism for barely winning. A win is a win, is a win, it is said, but you don't beat Top-Five teams by waiting for them to screw up. You have to be proactive, hitting receivers downfield, running misdirections, blitzing, taking chances, like going for it on fourth downs, and playing perfectly aggressive special teams.

That's not happening in Morgantown right now.

In fact, it's even worse on the road.

Here's a free history lesson.

Over the past 40 years, West Virginia has pulled off victories as underdogs several times. The biggest ones, which I call The Eleven, are:

11. 1984 Penn State 17-14

10. 2005 Louisville 46-44 3 OTs

9. 1975 Pittsburgh 17-14

8. 2003 Virginia Tech 28-7

7. 2002 Virginia Tech 21-18

6. 1981 Florida 26-6

5. 1993 Miami 17-14

4. 2005 Georgia 38-35

3. 1982 Oklahoma 42-27

2. 2007 Oklahoma 48-28

1. 1984 Boston College 21-20

That's a rather impressive list. I'm proud of those Mountaineer teams that took the big boys down, winning in coal miner dinner-bucket fashion over everyone's elites.

The issue is, it's been 40 years, and there are only 11. Worse, only three have been on the road where West Virginia overcame the opponent's decided advantage. They are:

2002 Virginia Tech in Blacksburg

2005 Georgia in Atlanta

1982 Oklahoma in Norman

2002 Virginia Tech came off a bye week. The Mountaineers had a month to get ready for 2005 Georgia in the Sugar Bowl. And, Don Nehlen has admitted to conducting meetings, and practicing for the Oklahoma game as early as spring drills.

Bill Stewart has had six days to prepare for visiting the No. 5 team in the nation that plays in a cracker box snake pit where the fans are practically in your face.

Doesn't look too good.

I hope I'm wrong. And, Connecticut's performance may prove to have revealed a nick in Cincinnati's armor. Maybe Stew has found that nick and will attack it. Maybe.

The coach led a Mountaineer team out of the depths of football hell to pull off one of the biggest upsets in the history of the Bowl Championship Series. It's going to take that kind of effort to do it again, because a victory over the Bearcats is along similar proportions as the Fiesta Bowl.

As the astronauts used to say...Godspeed.

West Virginia: A Win Is a Win Is a Win, but This Is Getting Ridiculous

Tim McGhee — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:48:10 -0500

"Winning ugly" is a descriptive phrase referring to a method by which a team does everything it can to lose, but still ends up on the top end of the score. An ugly win, otherwise known as "a win is a win is a win," is acceptable on occasion as a display of a team's resiliency.

Aristotle said essentially that you are what you continuously do. So, the Greek philosopher can be paraphrased as proclaiming that too many ugly wins make you an ugly team.

Liberty, Marshall, Connecticut, and now Louisville.

It's beginning to make sense to me.

Just to get this straight, don't confuse ugly with blue collar. Penn State, for example, has made an aesthetic art form of its decades-long navy blue line of successful blue collar teams. My favorite was the 1986 national championship squad that pounded into submission the efficient scoring machine that was the Miami Hurricanes.

Similarly, the Junkyard Dog defenses of Georgia in the late '70s and the early '80s weren't ugly. They were scary.

The triple option offenses presently run by the service academies make you think they're ugly. But, ironically, had Notre Dame beaten Navy Saturday night, and the Irish could have, that would have been the consummate ugly win.

It's a fact that ugly teams don't win championships. I defy you to name an ugly team that has played in a BCS bowl in this decade. No, no...heavy underdog BCS teams are not ugly. They're just undesirable, until they win. Like '06 Boise State and '07 West Virginia, which both happened to beat really pretty Oklahoma teams.

Was it Forrest Gump's mother who could have said, "Pretty is as pretty does?"

Back to '09 West Virginia. Here are some things to consider:

The Mountaineers have an offensive line that has returned to struggling.

It was obvious to most everyone in section 214 on Saturday that quarterback Jarrett Brown is running like he's merely seconds away from his next concussion. I, too, would be concerned.

The talents of two NFL quality wideouts, Alric Arnett and Bradley Starks, are being squandered.

The Mountaineers' best receiver, Jock Sanders, is now a running back working behind a line that is struggling.

The defensive line has been decimated by injuries.

To borrow from tennis legend John McEnroe, middle linebacker Reed Williams' entire upper body could fall off at any moment.

West Virginia safeties cannot provide run support because they have to cover the corners.

The head coach, a nice guy, is becoming short with fans on state-wide radio.

And...the best performing player on the team is the punter.

Now, that's ugly.

Which leads me to my conclusion.

In the early '70s, a Midwestern college with which I am very familiar had a 1-10 football team. The highlight of this team's offensive game was fourth down. That's when the punter, whom I call Bob, took the field and boomed absolutely beautiful 50-plus yarders that spiraled and turned over perfectly. Every time.

Bob's summer training regimen was legendary. He would gather a) a dozen leather footballs in a netted sack, b) a small plastic baggie of pot, c) a book of E-Z Wider cigarette papers, and d) a Bic lighter, and head to the practice field.

Upon arriving, Bob would roll a few joints, kick the balls, smoke one of the doobies while gathering the balls, and do it all over again. Bob's tolerance for marijuana was also legendary, so his afternoon of punting and recreational drug usage went on for a while.

Just goes to show you: there are plenty of different ways to do things, so West Virginia better figure out how it's going to win ugly in Cincinnati.

West Virginia Football: We've Been Here Before and It Turned Out Okay

Tim McGhee — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:33:50 -0500

This article is not a game recap, but it bears repeating these facts:

West Virginia cornerback Keith Tandy was rolled and smoked twice by one singular Bulls wideout, Carlton Mitchell.

The Mountaineers couldn't muster enough offensive tackles and tight ends to keep South Florida speed rushers George Selvie and Jason Pierre-Paul out of the WVU backfield.

And, elusive Bulls quarterback BJ Daniels, alone, was responsible for more yards than his opponent gained.

It is generally accepted that a coach's main responsibility is to put his players in position to win the game.

Well, even if Bill Stewart and his crew would have stood on the field Friday night with each Mountaineer and showed them exactly what to do, it still wouldn't have been done.

Is the problem a) lack of proper preparation or b) poor play or c) both?

Sounds like the answer is b) but I say it is mostly a).

South Florida did not show West Virginia any surprises. Selvie and Pierre-Paul, and even and especially BJ Daniels, were very much known quantities. There are yards and yards of video on these guys.

Mountaineer coaches saw it all, the good (Florida State), the bad (Cincinnati), and the ugly (Pittsburgh) and still could not figure out where the Bulls were coming from and going to.

This abysmal performance on that eve of All Hallow's Eve makes me reexamine the victories over Marshall and Connecticut, games in which the Mountaineers looked strong, but...

The Herd walked into the lockers at half with a 7-3 lead, then helped West Virginia out in the second half by self-destructing.

Connecticut played valiantly and with tremendous courage in Morgantown, but West Virginia let them back in the game late by failing to cover the dreaded crossing route.

If the WVU staff wants to improve its preparation, maybe Bill Stewart should talk with South Florida defensive coordinator Joe Tresey. Joe watched his yards and yards of video only to figure out that, and I paraphrase, if you stop West Virginia's big plays, you stop West Virginia.

That sounds like the "if you out tackle 'em, if you out hit 'em, if you out-hustle 'em" analogy. Gee, perhaps this could be a simple game after all.

I've talked to enough Mountaineer fans this weekend to realize that the coach's seat is heating up on Stew. One good friend said the team needs a bus driver, not a tour guide. That's pretty funny, but I personally say give Bill Stewart time. Don Nehlen and Rich Rodriguez didn't get it done in two years. They did rather well for the state while they were in power.

Of course, the propensity of the typical West Virginia fan is to talk real trash about the current football coach. A Mountaineer coach's lowest points are the first loss after his biggest victory and the loss right before that big victory.

Granted, this South Florida game had the feeling of bad defeats of the recent past. Examples: 2008 East Carolina, 2007 South Florida, 2007 Pittsburgh, 2006 Louisville, 2006 South Florida, 2005 Virginia Tech, 2002 and 2003 Maryland, 2003 Cincinnati.

Now, take it way back: 1981 Pittsburgh, 1982 Pittsburgh, 1982 Florida State, 1984 Virginia, 1988 Notre Dame, 1993 Florida, just about every time WVU played Penn State, ad nauseum.

Okay, think of the good times.

You can't do that right now.

Don't extrapolate the South Florida game to Cincinnati and Pittsburgh. From the game before No. 3 Boston College in 1984 through the game before No. 3 Oklahoma in 2008, I recognize this.

We've been here before.

West Virginia and South Florida: Too Close To Call

Tim McGhee — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:47:21 -0400

Even with South Florida is in the midst of its annual midseason swoon, the Bulls are never gracious hosts to West Virginia.

Mountaineer fans everywhere have to realize that any team that can travel to Tallahassee and take Florida State down has to be respected more than many others.

It's this. Bill Stewart respects all and fears none. Well, fear this, Stew, because the road to the Big East championship and the BCS bowl bid goes through Raymond James.

A little bit of trepidation and apprehension never hurt anyone.

Reminds me of the innate fight or flight syndrome. Now, you'll never see a Bill Stewart team back down from a challenge. I say West Virginia will fight. And will it ever be one.

South Florida matches up with the Mountaineers speed versus speed, even better than Auburn.

Jarrett Brown (pictured) will not have much time to make a decision with Bulls' George Selvie bearing down from the outside. And with George's running--or sacking--buddy Jason Pierre-Paul blowing smoke, the West Virginia offensive line will have to play a stellar game.

Worse still, power running back Ryan Clarke and tight end Tyler Urban may have to support pass blocking, taking options away from the offense. Jarrett's scrambles will not be as effective, putting stress on the passing game and plugging up the run.

That lays it all on the Mountaineer defense.

And, they got 'em where they want 'em.

South Florida's quarterback BJ Daniels can put in the breeze with this year's best of them. He faces a West Virginia pass D that's not strong in relation to the Mountaineers' ninth-ranked run D.

To account for this, the pass defense will be bolstered by a blitzing rush. Stewart likes to sign off on sending six. The linebackers and corners do that well, plus the safeties' coverage is enough to slow down any surprises.

In other words, the Mounties can win this dog fight.

It'll be interesting, though. In addition to notable road wins such as this year's Florida State and 2007 Auburn, South Florida is 21-6 on their home field since signing up with the Big East.

To make it even more interesting, consider the question posed by Mike Casazza, a sportswriter for the Charleston (W.Va.) Daily Mail. Are the Mountaineers lucky or just plain good, he asks.

Well, the writer impels me to ask: Is a team good enough to overcome all those turnovers, or lucky enough to watch half of opponents' field goal attempts go wide?

Or both?

I say the point is moot, because as the old adage goes, I'd rather be lucky than good.

If you don't have a son, grandson, or a nephew bright under the Friday night lights, watch West Virginia at South Florida on ESPN2. You're lucky. We're in for a good one.

WVU and UConn: West Virginia Students and Jasper Howard Lead the Way

Tim McGhee — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:40:37 -0400

Lieutenant General Robert Baden-Powell of the British Army is recognized as the main protagonist of the Scouting movement for boys. Having been the author of several books on scouting, Lord Baden-Powell is responsible for teaching men and boys to survive and prosper in the wilderness.

The use of trail signs to designate direction and warn of dangers is widely attributed to Baden-Powell. In fact, on his tombstone is carved the most used of these signs, a circle with a dot in the middle signifying "I have gone home."

He was much too young to be taken, and yet to be taken so tragically, but Jasper Howard has gone home. A football stadium scrawls a roughly-hewn circle, with the field's logo as the dot.

From his new perch and from within their souls, Jasper witnessed a stirring display of football by his Connecticut teammates as they kept a faster and more talented West Virginia team on the ropes all afternoon. It took a monumental effort by the Mountaineers to win, but win they did.

The game was the kind that left a lump in the throats of football players, now and then, young and old, here and elsewhere. And it was the kind of game that even I, a witness of many West Virginia gridiron skirmishes, would have not minded had the Mounties lost.

Although too many adult fans ignored or perhaps forgot the purpose of the day, the students showed nothing but class. The purported burners of sofas and throwers of garbage cans and talkers of trash put aside their agendas and let the spirit of Jasper Howard and his Huskies carry them.

I am proud of the WVU students, proud to be an alumnus, and especially proud to be one of the scribes who recorded their moment.

Maybe, just maybe, the edge will be taken off by the memories of when the student section broke out into their Jasper Howard chant. I do know that when I catch wind of the next burning couch, I'll remember that when we all needed it, the students delivered.

West Virginia Football 2009: Mid-Term Report Card

Tim McGhee — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:21:56 -0400

Mid-terms in engineering school at West Virginia were not a day at the beach. First, the classes were impossible, with subjects like advanced compressible fluid dynamics and intermediate heat transfer. And, whatever possessed me to sign up with the most sadistic professors who taught them is beyond reason.

The tests were like finals, except there were usually three tests a day over only two days. My brain didn't work for a week after that ordeal.

Everyone should experience mid-terms. With that in mind, here are my mid-term grades for the West Virginia University football Mountaineers.

Coaching: B+

Bill Stewart and his crew of adults had a solid C before Syracuse as the fourth quarter F they received during the Auburn game pulled them down.

Outstanding coaching efforts turned in against The Orange and The Herd were 100 percent curve-wreckers, especially last week's 4th and 10 call in the third that led to the go-ahead touchdown.

The coaches are ready for the ever-increasingly difficult Big East schedule.

Passing Game: B

Quarterback and receiver play are outstanding, especially Jarrett Brown to Jock Sanders all over the field and JB to Alric Arnett with the big ball. However, the grade is pulled down a letter by the spate of interceptions and fumbles after receptions.

I don't foresee too much of a dropoff with Geno Smith leading the show. He's talented and hungry.

That being said, the Mountaineers will have to figure out how to keep the ball in their possession before they play at Raymond James and the Nippert snakepit.

Running Game: A

The runs and scores of Noel Devine and Ryan Clarke, along with the end around by Jock Sanders and the creative blitz-busters of Jarrett Brown, win ballgames for West Virginia.

Behind the manhandling offensive line, the running game is the base of the offensive philosophy. Why the coaches abandoned it against Auburn is another subject for another time. Fact is, the running game is good enough to run the table.

Run Defense: A

Despite spending too much time with their backs against the wall due to poorly-placed turnovers, the West Virginia run D has fought valiantly.

When you consider that (a) 24 of Auburn's 41 points came as a result of Mountaineers mishandling the ball, then (b) the front seven held the nation's leading rusher to 82 yards against Marshall, one cannot ask for much more.

Pass Defense: B

I'm relatively satisfied with West Virginia's pass defense. Auburn, of course, exposed WVU's soft corners and Marshall probably picked up too many yards for a team of its quality.

But, the Mountaineers blitz like banshees as the safeties hit abusively. The coaches have enough confidence in the pass coverage to most of the time send six, making the opposing quarterback wish he were back at school studying English literature.

Kicking Game: B-

When a foot hits the ball, things are way too exciting during West Virginia games. Scott Kozlowski's punting has been nothing short of magnificent, but the kick coverage is still allowing big returns and WVU punt returners are muffing too many.

An ill-timed special teams turnover can ruin a lot of hard work by the defense. The Mountaineers have to get that back in line.

Fans: D+

I have found that even during major victories in big games, the average West Virginia fan will throughout the history of modern college football turn on the coaches, spitting venom.

From the For Sale signs in Bobby Bowden's lawn to the red-faced rants directed at Frank Cignetti to the "Nehlen Must Go!" airplane to Rich's morality clause and all the way through Luther Stewart, Mountaineers just don't like their coaches.

Let's do better than that, okay?

Overall: B+

It's hard to argue with a 5-1 team, unless it's undefeated.

West Virginia Football 2009: Week Seven Awards

Tim McGhee — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:17:16 -0400

The awards for Week Seven are:

The West Wing Award

West Virginia's Joe Manchin III is a bright star on the Democratic horizon, a fine governor, and a tremendous politician. He's also a stand-up guy. My wife knows him through a mutual friend. I've talked to him enough that he's genuinely nice to me even though he knows there is absolutely nothing I can do for him.

So much for the name dropping.

Finally, the point: I completely disagree with him on his influence with this Friends of Coal Bowl tripe. The governor makes West Virginia play Marshall when it should be left up to the free market.

Two things: (a) In the four years of the current contract, WVU is 4-0 with a total score of 144-43, and (b) I'd feel better about this if Marshall would field an actual competitive team. Interestingly, 2009 was their best chance to do so.

Here's the thing about the lack of free market involvement: Seven Big East teams have five out-of-conference games each is free to schedule. West Virginia has four—not a wise use of resources.

Then there's the matter of the rivalry.

Saturday's The Wall Street Journal ran a short piece on its sports page on the abuse of the word "rivalry" in college football.

For example, Tennessee has a 24-game win streak over its "bitter rival," Kentucky. Utah has beaten Utah State 12 straight. And, now, Notre Dame owns an eight-game skid to USC, albeit with one moral victory.

West Virginia knows how this feels, Marshall. The Mountaineers were on the short end of a 28-game slide to Penn State from 1955 through 1984. To WVU, this was a rivalry. To the Nittany Lions, it was a nuisance.

Next year's game is in Huntington, Herd. Put a BCS-worthy team on the field and West Virginia will talk about coming back for the sake of the "rivalry."

The Y2K Award

In the first half, The Herd looked like the proud Marshall teams of the late '90s, with the spirits of Chad Pennington and Randy Moss present.

Now, I don't know what head coach Mark Snyder said to them at the half with a 7-3 lead, but his Herd came out like it was 1977. That was the year Marshall led the nation in defensive futility as it gave up an average of 39 points a game.

The days of disco were not kind to Marshall. If the Thundering Herd has to emulate any historical period, go back to Y2K.

The 1980 Oakland Raiders Award

You all know Ron Jaworski, the Jaws of Monday Night Football fame. Well, when Jaws was an NFL Super Bowl quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, he got to know the 1980 Oakland Raiders on a first name basis. Those Raiders picked him for four in the XV edition of The Big Game.

Except for their inability to get off the field in the first half, Saturday's West Virginia defense looked like the Raiders of the Jimmy Carter administration.

Holding the nation's top-ranked back to 82 yards on 25 carries and thoroughly frustrating the Herd quarterback, the Mountaineer D has also given conservative talk radio yet another valid comparison of Barack Obama to the failed presidency.

The Denver Broncos AFL Throwbacks Award

To the gold and white unis: U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi...you're ugly.

The "You Can't Handle the Truth" Award

To the game official who was standing so close he could have spit on the Marshall kickoff cover man who attempted to take off the head of West Virginia's Robert Sands: how obvious does it have to be?

One thing is certain: in all his acrimony, Bill Stewart didn't use foul language. He was in the officials' faces so hard after that one he would have been flagged for a singular "damnit."

The Faster Than a Speeding Bullet Award

Noel Devine was a blur in his 14-yard dash to the end zone for the go-ahead score. With notable exception to women at Wal-Mart on the Friday after Thanksgiving, that is faster than any human has ever moved in the state of West Virginia.

The a Little Help Here, Please? Award

Marshall running back Darius Marshall is an NFL-quality player who earned each and every one of the 82 yards he gained Saturday. The Herd's offensive line was way too slow to get on the corner and seal it off.

You're on your own, man.

The Urban Meyer Award

The stadium fell to a hush as Jarrett Brown laid on the mist-soaked turf.

Four things here: (a) Regarding how flat-out Jarrett plays, I was concerned he was seriously injured. (b) He was seriously injured; he has a concussion. (c) Don't worry, the Mountaineers have Geno Smith, and (d) I sincerely hope Jarrett's brain is valued more highly than that of Tim Tebow's.

The "Oh, No! There Goes Tokyo! Godzilla!" Award

It's Saturday. It's cold and raining. Marshall is up 7-3 in the third quarter. West Virginia is faced with a 4th-and-10 on the Herd 27.

The starting quarterback is out loopy. The current quarterback was only a season ago choosing his high school homecoming date among several pretty 16-year-olds. Consequently, he has taken the offense essentially nowhere.

If you're Bill Stewart, this is the deal.

Luckily for West Virginia, you also possess major cajones. Bill went for it on that 4th-and-10 with a Geno Smith pass to Jock Sanders, got it, then Noel Devine did his bullet train run. It's 10-7 and the Mountaineers didn't look back.

For this, West Virginia head coach Bill Stewart is this week's man among boys.

They Are...Marshall! and Just Might Make West Virginia's Afternoon Miserable

Tim McGhee — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 09:18:43 -0400

My suggestion to every college football fan is the same as it was earlier last season: Make your next download or your next DVD rental We Are…Marshall!

The 2006 film, starring Matthew McConaughey and Matthew Fox, is based on a true story of a community’s rise from the ashes of the worst airline disaster in sports history.

On Nov. 14, 1970, a Southern Airways charter jet returning 75 Marshall University football players, coaches, and boosters from a loss at East Carolina University to the college town of Huntington, W. Va., crashed on approach to Tri-State Airport. There were no survivors.

Added to that tragedy is the compelling drama that was the struggle to keep the beloved football program alive against all odds. They did, fielding a team of freshmen and walk-ons and (I’m not giving away any secrets here) winning their first home game.

Marshall has this incredibly powerful intangible that no school wants. Still, after almost 39 years, "The Crash," as it is called, drives The Herd, giving them the propensity to do the improbable.

I know Marshall better than many West Virginia University graduates. I spent my teen years in the late '60s and the early '70s following them as fervently as I rooted for the Mountaineers.

I went to school there, and for one brief day as a high school senior considered walking on until I discovered that, even with a 1-10 record, the Marshall players had no necks and torsos that looked like big sacks full of bowling balls.

They would have broken me in half, and therein is my reasoning: MU seems like a patsy, but the college has throughout its history demonstrated the innate ability to, at any time and anywhere, win football games they shouldn’t win. Here’s a short list:

1971: Xavier, surprised in the second game after the jetliner tragedy, by the team named the Young Thundering Herd.

1976: Powerhouse Miami of Ohio, defeated for only the fifth time in forty games, and the first victory by Marshall over the Redskins since FDR's second term.

1984: Louisville, downed in their own house by a Herd team hungry for its first winning season in two decades.

1992: Youngstown State, with a last-second field goal for the Division I-AA national championship.

2003: AP No. 6 Kansas State, soundly defeated in Manhattan, Kansas.

That doesn’t include the near-misses:

1995: AP No. 11 North Carolina State in Raleigh, victorious over I-AA Marshall only by a last-minute fourth down pass-interference call against The Herd. The flag was late, thrown seemingly after the ref deliberated for some time about its national implications. It was one of the worst homers in the annals of college football.

2004: AP top ten Ohio State with my good friend Ross and me and 104,000 others at the Horseshoe, by virtue of a 56-yard howitzer of a walk-off field goal from the lively leg of All-America placekicker Mike “Call Me Stranglehold Ted” Nugent.

And:

1997: West Virginia, in Morgantown, with Randy Moss and Chad Pennington, yet only one good offensive line away from Herd Nirvana.

Even considering my status as a Marshall fan, that WVU defeat would have angered me. So will this year's, if it happens.

And, it will happen, if the Mountaineers don’t look across the line and see 2007 Pittsburgh.

That’s the key. Marshall, lowly Marshall, has absolutely nothing to lose. Nothing. By this, they are by far the most dangerous opponent on the WVU schedule.

But wait...it gets worse. The Herd is well-coached, and has been well-coached since Stan Parrish took over back when Nancy Reagan was just beginning to say no.

You can’t throw a rock at a Marshall practice without hitting an outstanding athlete. And, there’s the Hollywood factor.

Marshall will ride the wave of the ever-present spirit of Matthew McConaughey into Morgantown, filling Mountaineer Field with the “We Are…Marshall!” chant, and if they are not summarily disposed of by halftime, it could be ugly for those wearing the blue and gold.

I think WVU will beat Marshall, and I want WVU to beat Marshall like a cheap drum, but this year The Herd has come together. They have the athletes at the skill positions, one badass defensive front seven, and 85 scholarship players who want to save Mark Snyder's job.

What better way to keep the head man in there than to take the Friends of Coal Trophy back to Huntington.

So, the Mountaineers better not open up like they did against East Carolina, then putz around as they did on that Thursday night hosting Colorado. The Herd will hang on and hang around, and eventually think they can actually win this game.

That would make life miserable in Morgantown.

All Mountaineeers, from the players and the coaches on down to the ardent fans, should in no way look past this one. Take off the lewd "sister in a whorehouse" T-shirts, boys and girls, and take this one seriously.

West Virginia Football 2009: Week Six Awards

Tim McGhee — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 10:20:47 -0400

And the winners are...

The Kanye West I'll Let You Talk In a Minute Award

Greg Paulus, The Annoying Crowned Prince of Quarterbacking for Syracuse, has been stealing media attention in the Big East Conference all year.

"Stealing" is the operative word since he has registered more turnovers this half-season than he dished out in one NCAA tournament visit by the best program in the history of college basketball, the equally annoying Duke Blue Devils.

Finally, after long, long minutes of absurdly awful quarterback play, Paulus took a seat and passed the microphone back to where it should have been all along: Jarrett Brown.

The Serena Williams I'll Take This Ball and...Award

...shove it down your highly ranked rushing defense throats, four times to be exact. From inside the 10-yard line. In front of your packed yet dwindling house.

The offensive line, showing Ryan Clarke, Jock Sanders, and Noel Devine the way, paid no attention to the media or anyone else who was touting the Syracuse so-called immovable objects.

The Mountaineer o-line gets better with each game. I called it both ways: they would struggle against Liberty and East Carolina, and grow up at Auburn, not to be worried about for the remainder of the season.

As George Peppard's character said on the cheesy '80s TV show "The A-Team," "I love it when a plan falls together."

The Silence of the Lambs Award

The Carrier Dome began the day in its typical noisy state in anticipation of thumping West Virginia. However, as the West Virginia defense delivered hit after hit, they're the ones who beat the Syracuse offense into submission.

Orange fans were first rendered quiet, then issued boos, then expressed their displeasure with their feet, that is alternating one in front of the other toward the exits.

The Mountaineers, playing on the road in a tough house against a team that was not that bad, shut them out in the first half and held them to the lowest yield in this young season.

The Mary Karr/Shakespeare To Be Or Not To Be Award

This is the last time I refer to my favorite good-looking English literature professor this season.

The first line in Hamlet's world-famous soliloquy essentially means "Is it better to live or to die."

Since I don't consider football a life or death proposition, let's call the meaning "Is it better to succeed or to fail."

Mountaineer Brandon Hogan, facing a number of failings this season and last, stepped up and grabbed the Syracuse punt, returning it 51 yards to give WVU outstanding field position.

Brandon Hogan has interpreted the meaning of Hamlet's line as "To succeed and to hell with failure."

The Who Really Deserves The Nobel Peace Prize Award, or more accurately called The Who Really Deserves the West Virginia Mid-Season MVP Award Award

President Barack Obama doesn't have the frame for football. Neither does Jock Sanders.

However, Jock is good for a consistent outstanding game of receptions, rushes, and downfield peel blocks.

It may be a little too early to present a war president with a peace prize, but I'll stick with my Jock Sanders choice as Mountaineer Most Valuable Player.

The Week Six Oh, No! There Goes Tokyo! Godzilla! Award

Gee, I tried to separate a player or group of players to receive the Godzilla man among boys award. I don't have enough time, and there is day job work to do.

To make it easier and fairer, here's how I decided to handle it:

Recipients of The Week Six Oh, No! There Goes Tokyo! Godzilla! Award are those wearing a) white unis, and b) navy hats.

This victory was a beautiful team effort.

Syracuse-West Virginia: Orange Looking to Crush Mountaineers

Tim McGhee — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 16:19:42 -0400

When your alumni list includes a sitting vice president (Joltin' Joe Biden), a three-time Pulitzer Prize-nominated author (Joyce Carol Oates), the inventor of the artificial heart (Robert Jarvik), the president of The U (Donna Shalala), an ex-NFL defensive end-turned-NPR-contributor (Tim Green), and an annoying sportscaster (Bob Costas), you're pretty good already.

Then, consider the fact that your faculty has the best-looking English literature professor I've ever seen (Mary Karr), and it only gets better.

Finally, if you know, just know, that your 2009 football team is resurgent and is looking to restart its domination of your conference on some unfortunate team in front of 40,000 crazed fans, you're going to be difficult to beat.

Look up "Carrier Dome" in the Dictionary of West Virginia Football Terminology (how thin is that book?) and you'll find a picture of a hornet's nest beside that word.

That was not always the case. In 1993, a good Orange team was manhandled in The Dome by West Virginia to the tune of 48-0. Of course, that was the first year of Bill Clinton's first term, so how irrelevant can you get?

The stingers will be whipped up and angry on Saturday, October 10, as Coach K's point guard Greg Paulus (No. 2 in the photo) leads his new team in the quest for respectability and victory, not necessarily in that particular order.

Unfortunately for the Mountaineers, Syracuse had a tough outing last week against South Florida in Tampa.

Or, maybe it was not too tough. The Orange suffered seven turnovers on the road, yet lost by only 14, similar to West Virginia coughing up six and falling by 11 against Auburn on The Plains.

I'm certain the Syracuse fans saw that score and how it all transpired, damned the defeat, and gave a collective sigh of "Hey, that wasn't so bad."

With regard to the Orange teams of the late '00s, they're right.

That's why this particular Saturday for the Mountaineers will be surrounded by an orange crush of bees. So, here's what West Virginia must do to win:

1. Above all, protect the ball. The Mounties can offer no—that's right, zero—turnovers. Being a little tentative may pay off.

2. You can bet your sweet Southern tea that Syracuse will contain and blitz passing situations. Jarrett Brown is absolutely dangerous on the rollout as he was against East Carolina, but Dan Hawkins of Colorado demonstrated that keeping Jarrett in the pocket puts him in a place to which he is unaccustomed.

Doug Marrone will dare Jeff Mullen to beat him from behind center.

3. West Virginia must atone for the past sins of its soft corners. That means blitz the corners, leaving the safeties to backpedal off the bus. So far, the Orange has only one receiver to cover. The WVU coaching staff should treat Greg Paulus like a freshman and make him beat the Mountaineers by going through his progressions.

4. Pay no attention to Syracuse's run defense stats because a) the stats are inflated by a weak pass defense, and b) Mountaineer football is running football. So, give the ball to Noel and Ryan Clarke behind the hot offensive line and let them do what they were born to do.

5. Don't do anything to disturb the bees, like allowing long kick and punt returns and (once again) fumbles and interceptions.

This is it, the beginning for both teams, Syracuse's march to a winning season and West Virginia's campaign for a BCS bowl. It will be difficult for either to make it happen without winning this game.

West Virginia Football 2009: Week Five Awards

Tim McGhee — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 22:15:46 -0400

The Awards for Poor Performances for Week Five are:

The What Bernie Madoff Should Have Done Award

Mountaineer JT Thomas picked a Cody Hawkins pass late in the second quarter when the game was tight. He became a running back, unfortunately choosing Beanie Wells, the running back of fumbling fame from The Ohio State University and Arizona Cardinals, from whom to model his slashing style.

JT took the ball away and gave it back. First down, Colorado. And, no time left for you. Mr. Madoff.

The Winona Ryder Crime Doesn't Pay Award

Like the incredibly (and I'm serious) talented actress whose best role (arguably) since her 2001 arrest was as Spock's dying mom in the most recent "Star Trek" movie, the Buffaloes' defense possessed stolen articles four times in the first half.

Ms. Ryder, far from her halcyon years of the 90s, lost her game and went home, as did the 90s powerhouse, Colorado. Reality does indeed bite.

The Cat's Hairball Award

No one was around when Mountaineer wideout Bradley Starks caught a pass and coughed up the ball. That's a good thing. It would have been the fifth fumble West Virginia gave up in the game. So, he simply hopped on it.

That's better than our cat Mister Zeus. He hacks up a hairball and walks away, crawls onto the sofa, and continues his 22-hour-a-day nap.

The Andrew Lloyd Webber "Cats!" Musical Award

With apologies to Mr. Webber, sing in a whispered tone these butchered lyrics of "Macavity," my favorite song from the musical "Cats!"

Brandon Hogan, Brandon Hogan, there's no one like Brandon Hogan.

He's broken every cornerback law, he's seldom ready to go again.

His lack of levitation would make a coach swear.

And when the wideout has the ball, Brandon Hogan's not there!

The Consult Google Earth Award

To say Jarrett Brown was just a little off the mark against Colorado is like saying Teri Hatcher's running suit worn in her race with Conan O'Brien the other night was just little.

No one can accuse Jarrett of underthrowing anyone. The receivers are good, Mr. Brown, but we're not talking world class sprinters. I mean, back off a half a turn on that passing valve, Jarrett.

Of course, he did have a difficult time getting a pass underway. Colorado figured out Jarrett early, like during the Auburn game.

Dan Hawkins showed the world, including South Florida and Cincinnati, that the best way to stop Jarrett is to contain him in the pocket, a place in which he is least effective and obviously does not favor.

It's up to Jeff Mullen to countermove.

Good luck with that.

*****

The Awards for Good Performances for Week Five are:

The Hit Like A Train Award

Two months ago I predicted the West Virginia offensive line would struggle against Liberty and East Carolina, then hit the stage at Auburn and not look back. Well, I'm right. For once.

There are some aspects of West Virginia football to worry about. The offensive line is not one of those.

Granted, against the Buffs they had trouble picking up blitzes. Hawkins sent six, and there are only five of them. I feel the coaches have a chance to figure out a way to get Jarrett gunslinging again. The o-line will have a lot to do with that.

Trust me on this one. It's important: an offensive lineman salivates for run blocking. That's when the pancakes are on the griddle, and, in that fourth quarter drive, were they ever. Run blocking; remember those two words. It's the future of 2009 West Virginia football.

The Pink Floyd Another Brick In the Wall Award

Mountaineer linebacker Reed Williams led a bend-but-do-not-break-too-much defense that slowed down the red-zone savvy Colorado offense, allowing but one meaningless very late score from the 20 and inside.

The Buffaloes were held to under 100 yards rushing and therefore forced to pass, and pass. Of Cody Hawkins' 54 attempts for 292 yards, three were intercepted.

There is room for improvement. West Virginia is soft on the corners and vulnerable to a good tight end. However, I find it difficult to argue with the defense's output. Their team won.

The Aretha Franklin R-E-S-P-E-C-T Award

You have to give punter Scott Kozlowski his propers. Four kicks for a boomingly consistent 48.5 yard average compares favorably to Pat McAfee's 2008 44.7 yard number.

You can see it in Scott's eyes: "Coach Rod who?"

And, now...for the weekly Blue Oyster Cult Oh, No! There Goes Tokyo! Godzilla! Award

When it absolutely, positively had to be done in the fourth quarter, Noel Devine drove the truck and Ryan Clarke, heir apparent to the legendary Owen Schmidt, carried the package to the porch.

As ESPN's Craig James was damning Noel to situation back status in the NFL, Mr. Devine toted the rock a durable 22 times for 220 yards. Often, Noel showed a professional patience as he waited for the holes to develop, then instantly accelerated through said hole.

I invite comments and thoughts on your awards.

West Virginia Football 2009 Revealed: The Culture of Turnovers

Tim McGhee — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 10:28:25 -0400

Footballs have an odd shape and take funny bounces. Occasionally, even with the most careful player, a ball will be knocked free. Or the better quarterbacks will have a rare delusion of invincibility and throw into a crowd, setting up an interception.

"Rare" is the key word here because these things can happen to anyone. If any blame is to be assessed in these cases, hang it on the guy with the ball.

However, if it's a recurring issue, as it is with West Virginia, you have to fault the coaches. They have set up a culture of not protecting the ball.

I like the optimistic outlook that prevails on the WVU sidelines. But, this is getting ridiculous. Subconsciously, the Mountaineers to a man are thinking, "That's okay. We'll get it back. Our defense will stop them." Maybe that's cool, until the defense fumbles.

A team can't win without scoring. That team can't score without the ball. But, the other team can score if the team with the dropsies continues to offer the gifts.

It doesn't matter how many yards are gained—at Auburn, 508 yards, 6 turnovers; hosting Colorado, 408 yards, 4 turnovers—because crossing the goal line is most difficult if that team continuously hacks it up like a hairball.

Jarrett Brown is a truly amazing athlete, but he carries the ball as if it were his day's groceries from Kroger. Jock Sanders and Bradley Starks went for an extra yard that proved to be the longest yard. JT Thomas intercepted a pass, took off, and thought he was Beanie Wells.

The Mountaineers are 1-1 with the most recent spate of turnovers. Those turnovers prevented West Virginia from making a statement Thursday night. More importantly, the giveaways on The Plains cost WVU the game.

Minimize turnovers to a positive takeaway number and they're undefeated and Top 25.

How do the coaches set up a culture of treating the ball as if it were the Royal Crown Jewels?

a) Don't threaten the loss of playing time. That only serves to make the player tentative and tight.

b) Preach that the ball never touches the turf, even after the officials blow the play dead. This worked for Rich Rod. His only year of negative takeaways was the 3-8 season of 2001.

c) If there is no receiver obviously open, emphasize to the quarterbacks the value of the tuck and run out of bounds and the throw out of bounds As Ilie Kuriachan used to say on the really old secret agent television hit "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." "Run, run, run away. Live to kill another day."

d) In the case of West Virginia, give the ball to Noel Devine. He rarely fumbles. Noel is so small, he knows how to protect himself from hits despite running in traffic.

e) Repeat the phrase, "Above all, protect the ball." Colorado's first hit was on the hand carrying the mail. You can bet your vehicle that Syracuse will do the same. For now sacrifice the extra yard by using two hands and keeping the ball close to the gut.

f) Everybody should focus on holding on maintaining possession of the ball. Focus is like prayer, only no one is asking God to choose sides.

Things have to change. The Big East is getting tougher by the day. Syracuse is resurgent. South Florida has been instilled with confidence. Pittsburgh is always good to go. And, Cincinnati...well, Sports Illustrated says the Bearcats have the potential to run the table.

There is no time to take a play off. Concentrate on the ball.

Hawkins and Stewart: Hot Seated, Check It and See, Gotta Fever of 103

Tim McGhee — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:16:17 -0400

Who knew that the late seventies band Foreigner (still kickin', played West Virginia last Friday) would aptly describe the challenges faced by Thursday night's two opposing coaches.

Most everyone knows of the trials and tribulations of Colorado head man Dan Hawkins. His job has "sell" written all over it. At 14-26, working on his fourth losing season in as many years, coach Hawkins may be able to keep the wolves at bay with a win over WVU.

Good luck with that.

And, luck may arrive in the form of another pants-on-fire head coach, West Virginia's Bill Stewart.

On the surface, coach Stewart's position as the head guy looks stable and even growing as he and the state enjoy a 12-5 record during his tenure. However, when you dig deeper you find Hawk and Stew have the same issues.

Both are unconventional. Dan Hawkins is a relatively nice guy who skydives with his daughters and reads voraciously from his extensive library of actual books. Bill Stewart is an absolute nice guy who is optimistic to a fault, doesn't yell, and treats everyone as the lady or gentleman she or he is.

What's wrong with that?

Boosters tolerate unconventional...if you're winning. Here's where coach Stewart is way ahead of coach Hawkins. Or, is that way behind? Colorado fans see Hawk and his record and find everything that's wrong. West Virginia fans look at the goofiness of Stew and know—just know—it's going to blow up in their faces.

Boosters are ruminating over this: "We should have known more about this man when he was hired." Records like 14-26 will do this to the best of us, with coach Stewart, however, it's a long standing tradition in West Virginia to try to run the current head football coach out of town.

Cases in point:

a) In 1974, "For Sale" signs were planted in Bobby Bowden's yard.

b) Regularly in the decade of the '90s, after enjoying a successful '80s, an airplane toting a banner "Nehlen Must Go!" flew over the stadium during each home game, and

c) After a 3-8 record in 2001, boosters attempted to hang Rich Rodriguez with the morals clause of his contract. You of course know the state's vituperation and indignation when he finally took their advice.

Everything about the head coach is scrutinized. In my leisurely week's worth of Internet study of Colorado football, I have yet to find anything good written about Dan Hawkins. As well, sitting in the stadium at Mountaineer Field for the first two home games, I hear loud expletives after most every call, followed by shrapnel from exploding f-bombs. And, that's from otherwise nice people.

I can't speak for Buffs' fans, except you have a right to feel as you do after a 14-26 campaign with an 8-16 record in the Big 12.

I can say this about the Mountaineers' faithful: give Bill Stewart a chance. Let him work with his recruits—as talented as they are purported to be—and see what he does. You may be surprised.

West Virginia-Colorado: Speed Is the Theme of the John Denver Sing-Along Bowl

Tim McGhee — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 09:24:00 -0400

My daughter the nurse is like other good nurses, technically astute and above all compassionate. She cares deeply for her patients.

I was there with tears when she recited the Florence Nightingale Pledge. I'm proud of her.

Mountaineer football, however? Not so much on the compassion front. I sent her a text yesterday, saying, "I'm reading the Buffaloes are pretty damned cocky!"

Her texted reply: "Good. I hope we embarrass them on national television."

I'm very proud of her.

When the matchup is speed versus speed, Auburn had a difficult time with West Virginia. It'll be even worse for Colorado.

I'm not just talking about Noel Devine and the receivers. I'm talking all aspects of defense as well as - and this may surprise some folks - special teams, especially kickoff coverage.

Mountaineer guards are faster than Buffalo defensive tackles. When Colorado lines up in its 3-4, the WVU tackles are quick enough to handle the pass rush of the outside linebackers if they have to.

West Virginia speed is across the board, right up there with the best the Big XII has to offer.

It's not fair. And, it is there for the Mounties to exploit.

Don't get me wrong. Colorado is not going to just show up, put in an evening's work, then check out. The Buffaloes are accustomed to taking the field with the quick Big XII offenses. As well, Colorado State is no slouch. Toledo is fast.

I think West Virginia's speed surprised Auburn. The Mountaineers are even faster this year than last. That's good news for WVU.

One Buffs' homer...er...writer gives his T.I.P.S. for a Colorado victory. And, I quote:

T - Talent "The Mountaineers get the edge here." Edge, as in stiletto.

I - Intangibles "The Buffs actually have a few things working for them here..." That is, if you don't consider a) game in Morgantown, b) Thursday night game in Morgantown, c) Mountaineer retribution for 2008, and d) Mountaineers' Rule for Living: Respect All, Fear None.

P - Prerparation: "Schedule's the same." "A wash." Except for anger over losing a close game to Auburn West Virginia could have and should have won.

S - Statistics: Buff's writer referred to something in the Buffs' favor that's over my head. Something that's not over my head: 508 yards against an SEC defense with 87,000 fans in attendance.

Colorado is making the fatal mistake of extrapolating Jarrett Brown's Auburn performance to its game on Thursday night. If there should be any comparison, look to Jarrett and what he did to East Carolina.

Since the Buffaloes' secondary is better than that of the Pirates, the WVU quarterback may not throw for 300 and change. However, he will allow the rejuvenated offensive line to open running lanes for the ultra-fast Noel Devine.

One more thing: in this the John Denver Sing-Along Bowl - "Rocky Mountain High, Colorado" versus "Almost Heaven, West Virginia" - take the advice of John Lennon: give peace a chance.

That means if it doesn't go Bill Stewart's way and we win by a touchdown or less, please keep your boos and catcalls and expletive-filled suggestions to yourself.

And, as always, West Virginia Mountaineer football is awesome!

West Virginia Football 2009: Week Three Awards

Tim McGhee — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 08:05:37 -0400

And the winners are:

The Heidi Klum, as in Boom! Boom! Award

Quarterback Jarrett Brown spent an evening in Morgantown with the chicks on the runway, then he flew to Auburn and laid an egg. Now, I'm not drawing a huge parallel here. Being a model is fine avocation for a handsome athlete such as Jarrett. And, I'm just as guilty of getting caught up in his celebrity. I sent the 'JB for Heisman!' texts out to a few folks from the East Carolina game. We all must be careful and take this one game at a time.

The Sally Field Academy Award Presentation Award

You may remember some years ago Ms. Field gushing "You like me! You really like me!" after receiving her Best Actress Oscar. If not, I just described to you how embarrassing it was. The play-by-play man and the commentator, nominally from ESPN but obvious SEC homers, did however love the Mountaineer receivers, loved their size and speed, loved their football abilities, and on and on. And we love them, too. Alric, Bradley, Jock, Wes, and the crew. Now, shut up, ESPN, and talk about the defense.

The Bon Jovi Livin' On A Prayer Award

The defense spent the evening on The Plains with their backs against the wall. Having to fight against both Auburn's high-octane offense and the inordinant amount of turnovers the Mountaineers laid out, it's a small victory that the WVU D held the Tigers to 34 offensive points. Consider this: the majority of those points came late when the defense had rubber legs. But they still fought valiantly through that. To go to SEC Land with 87,000 fans and all that emotion and everything else stacked against you...well, Mountaineer fans have to be proud of their defense.

The Tom Cruise I Have a Need For Speed! Award

Running back Noel Devine was much more than present and accounted for. Auburn interestingly did not have an answer for his incredible jet speed. Not only is he hard to find and get a good lick on, when Noel gets behind you you're done. So, why didn't the coaches call plays to simply hand Noel the ball, especially late in the game?

The Republican/FOX News Health Care Town Hall Shout Down Award

Two things: a) it's apparent head coach Bill Stewart was playing some gamesmanship with the statuses of both Reed Williams' and Scooter Berry's injuries, and b) it seemed as if the decisions to play either men were gametime. That's completely up to the coach as to how to handle such matters. However, the void created by conflicting information is like blood in a tank of sharks, with the media being the big teeth-bearing fish. I personally do not care. I'm a citizen sportswriter who offers only wild opinions such as this shark opinion. I'm just reminding the coach that we're all in this together and everyone has to step gingerly.

The Audrey Hepburn My Fair Lady The Rain Falls Mainly on The Plains Award

An absolute deluge of a rainstorm did not back away the fans for this game, on the Tiger or the Mountaineer sides. I had a chance to go and I didn't and I'm glad. My dry family room with my dry family was a great venue, except for having to listen to the announcers. Still, after the game, my friend, who is fastidious in his appearance, could not stop talking about how wonderful the evening was and about how nice the Auburn fans treated him as well as the West Virginia fans he knows.

The Oh, No! There Goes Tokyo! Godzilla Award

I commented in my pregame pieces that this Auburn game was the game that the offensive line had to come of age. They certainly did. Garnering 508 yards of total offense, 30 points, and doing this despite the multitude of turnovers is due first and almost solely to the big men on the o-line. The Mountaineers are a quarter through the season and the young line has grown up. The next nine games? Watch out.

2001 AFC Championship Game: Start of New England Patriots' NFL Dominance

Tim McGhee — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:59:27 -0400

Everyone remembers this classic line from the late 1980s film Bull Durham: “You hit white balls for batting practice, the ball parks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.”

Aging farm hand catcher “Crash” Davis told this to the young fellows as he recounted his story of the two weeks he spent in the major leagues, or "The Show."

As citizen sportswriters, we would give anything to be in Our Show, The Hallowed Ground: the press box. Well, thank God there are no balls in there, the stadiums are finally gaining some character, there’s buffet service, and black-clad, pretty college women hand out sheets of paper with statistics.

And that, Crash, my man, is not bad.

Some of us have been in a press box. So, let me tell you of the time I was there; the time I, the Internet blogger, was in Our Show.

During the 2001 season, I wrote for The Football Network. TFN, based in Los Angeles, was established to cover all of football, but its essence was the National Football League. As with Bleacher Report, TFN obtained this coverage from those of us who love to write about sports, especially about a particular team.

Living in a city in West Virginia only four interstate hours from Pittsburgh, my team was the Steelers. And, my compensation was zero. The only tangible benefit was the availability of press passes. When you’re working for free, this is about as lucrative as it gets.

TFN was able to obtain a press pass for me on two occasions earlier that year, one Thursday preseason game and the Monday night game. Since I had a day job, I couldn’t go to either.

The Steelers did well during the 2001 season. The team finished with only three losses, guaranteeing home field in the AFC throughout the playoffs. Pittsburgh beat the Baltimore Ravens in the divisional game. And, mostly because of "the Tuck Rule," the New England Patriots took the Oakland Raiders down in the snow.

The city of Pittsburgh, with its Steelers at 14-3, was set to play the rude host to young quarterback Tom Brady and his 12-5 Patriots at Heinz Field at 12:40 pm on Sunday, January 27, 2002.

I checked my e-mail that Wednesday night, January 23, to find a message from Suzy, the coordinator for TFN correspondents. The subject was “Woo-Hoo!” I opened it. Suzy broke the news to me that TFN had secured a press pass for me for the AFC Championship game that weekend.

After running it by my wife, who was understanding and also excited, I immediately accepted by return e-mail. The following is the chronology of that endeavor.

* * * *

Saturday, January 26, 2002

9:00 am
I kiss the wife and the kids (girls 17 and 14, who for once think their old man is awesome) goodbye, pile into my 1993 Mercury Sable (153,000 miles, but who's counting) and aim it up Interstate 79 north.

1:00 pm
In downtown Pittsburgh, looking for the William Penn Hotel, I drive by the PPG glass tower for the third time. I'm officially lost and think of asking for directions, since MapQuest has failed me. Luckily, before sacrificing my maleness, I find the hotel.

1:45 pm
The kind young lady concierge in the ornate lobby tells me the press passes are available in the Grand Suite, Mezzanine Level. I'm there in a flash, presenting my e-mail letter and my photo ID to another young lady to get the...

1:46 pm
...media credentials, or press pass to us commoners. Hot dang! It's orange with the words "Working Press" on it and it comes with a press kit and everything! I'm there!

1:50 pm
Almost. As I examine the press kit in the media workroom, accompanied by a legal Iron City beverage, I find a document that effectively tells me I’m not going to be in the press box after all.

I have been relegated, the document says, to the buffet room to watch the game on any of the fourteen televisions provided. So, it will be as if I’m in my family room, without the buddies and the beer.

2:00 pm
I quickly overcome initial disappointment and do what I was sent here to do, be a member of the Working Press. In other words, I get to work.

3:00 pm
The media workroom is of spartan décor, with long tables arranged in a "C." Attached to the walls behind the folding chairs are temporary computer ports, for those members of the media who are more technically savvy and have laptops. For everyone else, there are land line telephones with coiled wires.

With exception to the computer ports, you get the feeling that this is what a media workroom looked like when the Steelers were the Steel Curtain in the 1970s.

4:30 pm
The press kit has more information than one can process. So, I had bypassed the bios on Leslie Visser and Jim Nantz, even skipping that of a true Super Bowl hero, Phil Simms, to go right for the teams’ stats.

I spent almost the entire time examining the stapled compilation of everything one would want to know about the 2001 season. The following is the executive summary of that perusal.

As a Steeler fan first and a Steeler writer second, I was delighted to discover that Pittsburgh was at the top in all categories that had to do with yards gained per game. In the same categories, New England was a mid-packer or less. Looking good.

On defense, it was more of the same. The Steelers dominated with their 3-4, while the Patriots maintained with multiple sets. Great matchups for Pittsburgh.

In an attempt to be objective, I found the strengths of New England to be in the kicking game. The Pats were ranked near the top of the league. I had lamented over this as the season progressed; when a foot hits the ball—punts, kicks, field goals, whatever—Pittsburgh struggles.

Baltimore had scored a touchdown on a punt return just the week before. Unfortunately, Troy Brown of the Patriots is at the top in punt returns in the AFC. He’s run two back for touchdowns. Whoa.

I went to the brass tacks, wins/losses. At 14-3, the Steelers hold sway. Their last defeat was in Week 16, against the reeling Bengals in a Cincinnati pride game. Steelers quarterback Kordell Stewart began his perennial late season swoon that day, throwing (or heaving) four interceptions.

However, New England is on a roll. At 5-5 in Week 11, the Patriots peeled off seven consecutive wins, arriving in the Steel City with a streak. As a Steeler fan, not good. As a writer, it will make for an interesting tomorrow.

It remains to be seen.

Sunday January 27, 2002

8:00 am
After spending the best part of yesterday evening going over the matchup, I'm calling it Steelers 24 Patriots 10. It will be that decisive.

I didn't commit enough money to this project to stay at the William Penn. The Holiday Inn Express 20 miles north in Cranberry Township was just as nice, especially considering I paid with accumulated Crowne Plaza points.

The total for this weekend is gasoline and last night's dinner at a restaurant named Bravo! with a couple...uh...three Iron Cities, since the breakfast and lunch buffets will be free. A frugal member of the Working Press I am.

Info in the press media packet suggests I park near the William Penn, help myself to the food, and ride a bus from the hotel to Heinz Field. It also suggests I quell my excitement, because I have been designated to watch this game on television close to the press box, beside the buffet.

Traveling from Cranberry Township south on I-79, I bear left on the I-279 ramp. The skyline is at a distance in my windshield.

9:30 am
I walk again through the William Penn lobby. It is voluminous, decorated with mahogany, wool carpets, and expensive wallpaper. Beautiful.

I have to get out of West Virginia more often.

I catch the elevator to the Monongahela Room on the 17th floor to join my fellow Working Press folks for the morning meal. As expected, the breakfast buffet is standard Pittsburgh fare, including eggs, fried potatoes, Italian sausage, and Polish sausage, beside which is a continental spread of danish and croissants and so on.

Why is this important? You can imagine the veteran NFL sportswriters see this table at least 16 times in 16 different NFL cities. If it's Sunday, this must be a bagel.

Buses leave for the stadium starting at 9:00 a.m., and then every 30 minutes afterward. After picking through the food, saving myself for the stadium buffet, I stand on the street corner, awaiting the 10:00 motor coach.

10:05 am
The bus driver pulls onto the street, five minutes late, with police escort. I am not making that up—a bunch of writers are getting a police escort. There are around 13 of us in this bus, and, it's not bad. Nice interior, clean, no stains, not like the buses one would expect.

A strange thing happens. A group of perhaps two dozen folks walking down the sidewalk in Steelers fan gear sees our bus and lets out ear-splitting cheers, spinning their Terrible Towels and yelling things like "Get 'em!" and "Kick Patriot ass!"

They, apparently, think we're the team. I think it's hilarious. The gaggle of writers across the aisle thinks nothing of it and continues to talk shop.

That's the difference. I'm ecstatic to be a sportswriter for a weekend, and I can barely contain it. My fellow sportswriters on the bus are professionals, going about their business as any surgeon, attorney, or certified public accountant would. And, we're commuting to our office.

10:30 am
This is the maiden season for Heinz Field. The stadium opens up to the Allegheny River—one of the three rivers for which Heinz's predecessor was named—and extends away from the Allegheny in a horseshoe.

The open end of Heinz has created problems for kickers and punters nearby. I'm sure I'll be writing more about this later.

Thousands and thousands of Steeler fans, and perhaps a hundred Patriot fans who are risking their lives, are at the parties in the east parking lots.

Man, I love to tailgate. However, that desire to have wings and Iron City has been overcome by my desire to find out if I have what it takes to be a sportswriter.

The driver motors past those hardcore fans, then along the open end of Heinz, and around the turn to the west entrance to the stadium. I'm the last to exit the bus.

Writers are in a loose queue walking along a wide sidewalk toward a double-glass door. I follow. The weather is unseasonably warm, with sunny skies and a temperature around the mid 50s.

I'm wearing a blue oxford shirt, white denim pants, Bass Weejuns, and a gray herringbone wool sportcoat with a royal purple tie. After looking around since the breakfast buffet, I have ascertained I'm dressed appropriately. It's a good thing to fit in.

There are ropes strung along the edges of the sidewalk with more than 20 people behind each rope. Several are applauding, mildly, like it's a golf tournament. I guess they're waiting for Rick Reilly to appear.

11:00 am
We enter the doors to an elevator awaiting us. The west wall of Heinz extends up maybe 12 stories. The doors slide closed, and the elevator ride is about 20 seconds, with writers packed in like Spam.

The car stops, and the doors slide open. I pile out and, as a baby goose would, follow everyone else to the left.

I find it interesting that the carpet is of industrial office grade and the walls are stark white. Thinking this will improve as I get closer to Hallowed Ground, I turn right and discover that it doesn't. White walls, gray carpeting, photos of football scenes and personalities all hung too high surround me.

Then, I don't care, because to my left are the half-dozen stair steps that lead you to the press box. Too bad I'll never see it.

Oh, what the hell.

I chance it, climbing up to take a look. There are maybe five tiers of writers sitting in chairs at a common desk on each tier, each desk possibly 20 yards long. An enormous window is in front of the writers, with a football stadium on the other side of that window.
I become paranoid and leave my press box experience at that.

11:30 am
It's an hour until kickoff. I staked my seat at a table close to the disappointing heavy hors d'oeuvres and sandwich buffet and directly in front of seven of the televisions. I pull a legal pad and a pen out of my satchel and work on my thoughts for the keys to the game:

Steelers: Win time of possession battle.
Steelers: Neutralize special teams matchups. This means no screw ups on punt coverage and field goals like they've been doing all season. Watch Troy Brown like a hawk.
Steelers: Use 3-4 defensive set to rattle the young Tom Brady.
Steelers: Get Jerome Bettis running and playing hurt.
Steelers: Get Plaxico Burress involved.
Steelers: No Kordell Stewart mind-fog interceptions.
Steelers: Win turnover battle.

The No. 1 seed Steelers are hosting the No. 2 Patriots, only the 10th time since seeds were established in 1975 that Nos. 1 and 2 have met in the AFC Championship. I'd say history is the last thing on the minds of the players and coaches; the winner goes to the Super Bowl.

Kickoff is scheduled for 12:30 pm here at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh. Prediction? I'm still looking for 24-10, Pittsburgh.

I have to pace myself, so I walk from the table to the west window of the press box buffet area, my desk for the day. From that window, I see the Carnegie Science Center I used to visit with my wife and daughters. To the west of the Science Center is the Ohio River. South of the Ohio is the Monongahela River, which joins with the Allegheny River not far from here.

I think of thousands of years past, when early man navigated the confluence, claiming women and food and property. They joined forces with other men and fought to the death to protect from invading forces what is rightfully theirs.

Sounds like football.

11:35 am
After taking one more glance at the press box, I return to my chair near the buffet, where I will watch the game on television. That’s becoming a stark reality. Disappointment is mounting as we approach game time. My Working Press pass affords me this section of table and a chair out here while the action is in there.

The buffet room is filled with guys like me settling in as well as others getting their last colby and wafer before going to work in the press box. Three men have sat down near me, two across the table and one beside me. They're having a conversation.

"It's too crowded in there," the guy beside me says, pointing to the press box. "They've given me a high chair, for Chrissake! I'm staying here, near the food."

Wow. I pounce.

Turning to the guy, I say, "excuse me, but I'll trade you this spot for your high chair."

Sensing I am a raw rookie, he pauses. "Let's go," he finally says. I follow him to the press box, climb the stairs behind him, and turn right. Three high chairs down is mine.

"This okay?" he asks. "Great," I reply. We trade credentials and shake hands. He disappears.

I am here!

11:40 pm
Against all odds, lucky as a buck who finds himself in a herd of doe, I have arrived in the press box and will work here for the duration of today's AFC championship game. How cool is this?

I just saw the legendary Will McDonough, recently retired from the Boston Globe, two rows down. I don't recognize anyone else, but the large guy directly in front of me seems to be an expert and just said Pittsburgh 24-10 into his cell phone.

It makes me nervous when people agree with me.

My high chair sits in front of a shelf which serves as my desk. I doubt I will use it, since I would have to turn away from the field to do so. Small price to pay; I am here.

The younger fellow to my right in his high chair is wearing a white shirt, a red paisley tie, dark slacks, and black Allen Edmonds wingtips. We nod hello and introduce ourselves. He's Brad from the Boston Globe.

In the high chair to my left is a guy with a trimmed beard, dressed in a brown corduroy jacket and tan slacks with penny loafers, a blue oxford shirt, and a navy knit tie, looking like a hip psychology professor. He's Donald from the Nashua Telegraph in New Hampshire.

I tell them I'm from The Football Network, in my winter-LA ensemble. Even when I say "Los Angeles" they still don’t know what I am, but they're polite. The Football Network: there goes the neighborhood.

I guess Pittsburgh is trying to pull a homer by placing a sports reporter from the Globe on a high chair. Worse, the three of us are located on the 15-yard line of the south end zone. No respect.

After pulling my cell phone out of my satchel to call my family, I dial the home number. Someone answers on the second ring.

"Hello?"
It's my wife. "Hey, sweetheart, I'm in the press box!"
"Wow! How'd that happen?"
"Long story. Traded a guy my buffet ticket for his high chair. Hey, I can see the CBS analysis crew from here. Jimmy Johnson's hair really is plastic. Jim Nantz is very dapper, and Leslie Visser is as pretty as...well...Jim Nantz."
Right about then, a tall, thin man turns to me directly and glares into my eyes, as if to say, "act like you've been here before."
"Better go. Love ya."
"Love you, too, Rick Reilly."

She's nice.

11:50 pm
I stow the cell phone back in my satchel and pull out the legal pad to expound on my earlier thoughts, my keys to the game. Both teams have been out on the gridiron for pregame warmups.

Jerome Bettis has been on the field for a while, trying to loosen up his injured groin with hurdler hops. The Steelers need a ball-control, time-of-possession running back. The shifty Amos Zereoue can't offer that. Jerome has to suddenly get healthy or play in pain.

Next, there can be no special teams screw-ups or lapses of concentration, as the Steelers are wont to do. Pittsburgh lost to Baltimore this season on missed field goals.

The same Ravens team popped a punt return for a touchdown in last week's playoff game. Worse, New England's Troy Brown, and it bears repeating, has taken two punts back for scores just this season. Man, the Steelers have to bring their best to the kicking game.

Also, quarterback Kordell Stewart has to be cool. Denver picked Stewart three times in the last AFC championship game played here in 1997. In fact, Kordell has already begun his annual January nose dive, throwing seven interceptions in the last three games. The Steelers really need Kordell to play mistake-free football today, unfortunately against a very opportunistic Patriot defense.

Wideout Plaxico Burress has to get involved. He's a big, athletic target. He has five touchdown catches in the past five games. However, with exception to the Monday night game here against Tennessee, he tends to play so young. It would be nice if Plax were to have a Hines Ward type of game.

Speaking of Hines Ward, the Steelers need his leadership today to make sure Kordell and Plaxico play 60 minutes.

Finally, Pittsburgh needs to have its 3-4 defense in high gear, blitzing with both Jason Gildon and Joey Porter, keeping the young Tom Brady off-balance and rattled. I've heard Brady is going to the essentially meaningless Pro Bowl, and he's playing well enough to lead a seven-game winning streak into Heinz, but this is the biggest game of his nascent NFL career.

In sum, the team that wins the time-of-possession game has the inside rail to the AFC Championship.

If all this good stuff happens to the Steelers, that guy below me and I will see that 24-10. Pittsburgh or New England: the winner of this game will hold the Lombardi Trophy high.

12:30 pm
There are several well-placed televisions hanging from the ceiling of the press box so we can see what you at home are seeing. The TVs turn on just as CBS hands the game over from Nantz's crew to Greg Gumble and Phil Simms. It's visual only; the mute buttons have been pressed.

"Mute" is the appropriate word. There are no Steeler cheers and Patriot birds in the press box. It's as quiet as an office, because it is an office. I am now an objective member of the professional working press. Despite being the huge Steeler fan, I must keep my comments and my catcalls to myself.

The teams appear. Boos rain upon New England, but Pittsburgh is greeted with screams and cheers and a sea of yellow Terrible Towels spinning all through the lower level, the club level, and the cheap seats. It's an awesome sight. However, I know what they're thinking, because I'm thinking it, too. This could be a coronation.

Recording artist Donnie Iris is scheduled to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner," after which will be an F-14 formation flyover. Donnie is of 1981 "Ah, Leah" fame. He's from nearby Ellwood City, and now lives in Wexford, 10 miles down the Ohio from downtown.

As the local boy belts it out, all members of the Working Press stand and place their right hands over their hearts. Writers are typically jaded, but with the events of September 11 always present, we're reverent. This has been one NFL season during which the priorities have not been with the action on the field.

12:40 pm
New England's game captains won the coin toss and elected to receive. Pittsburgh's captains elected to defend the south goal, sending the Patriots to kick field goals into the treacherous open end early.

Ed Hochuli, the big and buff man himself, is the referee. I'm a part-time weightlifter, working out with 135 pounds at three sets of eight reps on the overhead press. It's difficult to look like Mr. Hochuli, but he seems to pull it off.

The betting lines have Pittsburgh as nine and a half point favorites. That's about right.

4:05 remaining in the first quarter, no scores.
The teams have basically traded punts for almost 11 minutes. There have been some good hits, as one would expect from these two teams. There have also been four penalties, a sizable number for a quarter that's not quite ended.

With exception to a big first series for the Steelers during which they abused the Patriots' O-line and Tom Brady, little has tilted either way.

The crowd is in the game with unprecedented Heinz Field noise. They are stoked.

It's 4th-and-6 at the Steeler 13. Punter Josh Miller of Pittsburgh unleashes a howitzer inside the New England 30-yard line over Patriot Troy Brown's head.

Something unusual happens; Steelers' wideout Troy Edwards ran unforced out-of-bounds on the punt coverage. Flags fly. That's illegal procedure, a five yard penalty against the Steelers, back to the Pittsburgh eight-yard line.

The play will be repeated at 4th-and-11. Pittsburgh head man Bill Cowher is directly in Edwards' face. He's giving him some coaching advice...at high volume, laced with a lot of saliva.

Josh Miller sets up for his second punt in as many minutes. He's even closer to the open end of the stadium. The snap is perfect, the punt is launched to midfield, not nearly as far as the original punt.

Troy Brown catches the spiraling kick. He runs left, then sharply cuts upfield and, like water down the culvert, takes it in nearly untouched for the score. Patriot Adam Vinatieri knocks the extra point through and it's 7-0 New England, that quickly.

End of first quarter, New England up 7-0.
The quarter ended as Pittsburgh was driving, with a 1st-and-10 situation on the New England 13.

A pretty, brown-eyed college woman dressed in black smiles as she gives me stapled sheets of papers. On them is the NFL.com GameBook play-by-play first quarter summary. This is handy. Pittsburgh leads in first downs, 6-1. Pittsburgh leads in time-of-possession, 9:28 to 5:32. However, as the old cheer says, look at the scoreboard and see who's behind.

The drive-in-progress is, according to the summary, all Kordell Stewart. The Steelers' QB was 4-for-4, passing for 27 yards to four different receivers. His Slash reputation emerged as he took off up the middle for 34 yards to the New England 34.

13:44 remaining in the second quarter, New England up 7-0.
Pittsburgh's drive stalls at the Patriots' 11.  Bill Cowher sends kicker Kris Brown in. Punter Josh Miller will hold and Mike Schneck is the long snapper.

The kick splits the posts, the fans go wild.  I can breathe because the whole thing was rather uneventful, even in the dreaded open end of the stadium. However, Cowher had to settle for a short field goal, a 30-yarder.

It's now 7-3 New England. The score was minimal, but the Steelers proved they can hold and move the ball: I counted 10 plays for 65 yards in just over five minutes.

1:58 remaining in the second quarter, New England up 7-3.
Four more punts punctuated the action that turned into inaction as, during one 30-second interval, both Bill Cowher and Bill Belichick threw out the red flag.

Both times each team completed a pass for a nice gain, both completions were challenged, and both were reversed. The replay tapes run on the TVs here. They were good reversals. We have the technology, but man, it’s like counting beans.

Pittsburgh went three and out and gave the ball back to New England after a Patriot time-consuming drive—over 5:30—ended in a punt. It's 3rd-and-8 at the New England 32. Tom Brady's back in the shotgun, gets the snap, waits, and ropes one to Troy Brown...and Brady's down.

The replay shows Joey Porter hitting Brady on his left leg, looking as if he bent Tom's knee in a way it wasn't supposed to be bent. Coach Belichick calls time out. Trainers are on the field.

The pass was completed to Troy Brown for 28 yards to the Pittsburgh 40. Tom Brady hobbles off, done for the day. For a few seconds I have forgotten who the backup is...until...I'll be damned, it's the 106 million dollar man himself, Drew Bledsoe.

Drew's in the huddle for his first action since suffering internal injuries after a hit against the New York Jets. Everyone is pounding his shoulder pads and slapping his ass. They're confident.  I have a feeling this isn't good for Pittsburgh.

1:05 remaining in the second quarter, New England up 7-3.
Bledsoe immediately found wideout David Patten for 15 yards.

Then, the Patriot bench collectively sucked in a breath along with every Patriots fan within a thousand mile radius as Bledsoe took off out of the pocket and ran right and out-of-bounds for four yards. That was the same play during which he was injured so badly. The man has cajones.

Drew completed another one to Patten, this time for 10 yards and a first down at the Steelers' 11.

Bledsoe drops back and fires a quick one to Patten again, this time as the wideout is standing in the end zone. Touchdown, New England, Adam Vinitieri puts the extra point through, and the nine and a half point 'dogs are ahead 14-3 on the road against the No. 1 seed.

The crowd is just about as silent as 64,000 people can be.

Halftime, New England up 14-3.
Kordell Stewart attempted the two-minute drill at the end of the half. The Steelers' quarterback was 3-for-4 at the New England 47 with 0:33 remaining, looking good.

He then threw three consectutive ugly incompletions before hitting New England's Terrell Buckley directly in the hands to end the second stanza.

The documents given to me by the same brown-eyed college woman tell me that the Patriots held the ball for 10:32 in the second quarter, thereby taking Pittsburgh out of its game plan of ball control. As well, very few at Heinz Field had planned on New England being up 11 at the end of the half.

The Pats had eight first downs in the quarter, six through the air. They converted 3-for-5 third downs and stopped Pittsburgh on third down four times. In the half, Brady and Bledsoe combined for 15-for-21 with no interceptions. Kordell, in comparison, was 10-for-21 with one picked.

As CBS panned the sidelines late in the first half, it was obvious that the Steelers had that amazed look, like "how is this happening?" New England, on the other hand, was loose, but not celebrating...yet. The Steelers aren't 14-3 for nothing, the Patriots are surely thinking. Bill Belichick is purely business, and that is reflected on his squad.

Sheryl Crow is the halftime entertainment. "I...want to soak up the sun, want to tell everyone to...lighten up." Yeah, right.

The teams are back on the field. Pittsburgh fans give the Steelers a warm welcome. Warm? That's all? Jeez Louise.

Pittsburgh elected to receive. New England chose to defend the north goal, pointing the Steelers toward the south end in the fourth.

12:55 remaining in the third quarter, New England up 14-3.
We saw Kordell just being Kordell. The Steelers' quarterback fumbled at the Pittsburgh 36. Patriots' linebacker Tedy Bruschi recovered and got a yard out of it.

Drew Bledsoe led a charge to the Steelers 32. New England stalled there and went for it on fourth down. Troy Brown was the target. Bledsoe missed. The Steelers fans loved that.

8:51 remaining in the third quarter, New England now up 21-3.
The last 4:04 was surreal. Completely insane.

Pittsburgh took the ball at their 32. Kordell was magnificent, finding Plaxico Burress for 15 yards to the 47. Stewart completed a pass for seven yards to Troy Edwards, converting a third down.

The quarterback got extremely lucky when the Patriots' Tebucky Jones picked a pass that was called back for defensive offsides. Then the next play, in keeping with the tradition of this penalty-laden game, a defensive pass interference penalty was enforced to the New England 21.

Kordell ran up the middle for five yards. Another incompletion took Pittsburgh to a fourth down situation at the Patriots 16. Kicker Kris Brown and holder/punter Josh Miller ran on the the field to attempt a 34-yard chip shot. Mike Schneck snapped the ball, Josh Miller caught it, placed the tip of the ball on the ground, spun the laces away, and Kris Brown booted it.

New England defensive tackle Brandon Mitchell burst his 6'3'', 280-lbs. up the middle and blocked the kick before it had a chance to get near the line. The ball shot back to the New England 40, where Mr. Ubiquitous, Troy Brown, scooped it up.

When a field goal is blocked, kickers and punters are absolutely useless. Josh Miller and Kris Brown pulled a rodeo tackle on Troy Brown, both hanging on to his No. 80 jersey, slowing him down long enough so he could find Antwan Harris on approach from upfield.

Troy lateraled the ball to Harris, who carried it the remaining 49 yards untouched to the end zone. Adam Vinitieri kicked a point after, and the sure thing seemed almost impossible.

Only murmurs could be heard from the 64,000 in the seats.

The entire blocked kick/scoop up/run/lateral/run again/touchdown segment seemed to take minutes as it unfolded. Those in the press box emitted ohhs and ahhs of approval of a fascinating, intriguing, frustrating, and timely play.

1:29 remaining in the third quarter, New England barely holding on at 21-17.
It's as if the Pittsburgh Steelers became extremely angry, looking for revenge. The first drive started on their 21. Kordell was unusually accurate, hitting 4-of-5 for 63 of the 79 yards of the scoring drive. Jerome Bettis punched it in from the one-yard line, giving Pittsburgh its first touchdown of the day. Kris Brown kicked the extra point.

It was New England 21-10, but the Steelers were dominating. The fans in the stands went crazy.

New England went three-and-out. The Steelers' Troy Edwards fielded a Ken Walter short punt, taking the ball on a big return, 28 yards to the Patriots' 32.

From there, Kordell was 2-for-3, setting up Amos Zereoue for an 11-yard touchdown run. Kris Brown knocked the point after through.

New England 21-17. That's 14 points in a little more than seven minutes. The crowd is fervid.

End of third quarter, New England's lead barely alive at 21-17.
A taller brown-eyed college woman brought the third quarter stats to me. Pittsburgh's game plan finally has wind at its back. They held the ball for 10:24, registered 13 first downs to New England's one, and converted third downs on three out of four tries.

Most importantly, the Steelers scored 14 unanswered offensive points. If they can remain neutral on special teams, score one more touchdown, and play shutout ball—all in the friendly confines of Heinz Field—Pittsburgh is going to the Super Bowl. It sounds as if I'm asking a lot, but the Steelers have put it together like that several times this season.

11:21 remaining in the fourth quarter, New England up 24-17.

With 1:29 remaining in the third quarter, Drew Bledsoe started a drive from his 29. He threw two completions to get the Patriots to their 39.

From there, Bill Belichick called for runs to bleed the clock. Five rushes and one pass completion later, Adam Vinitieri stepped in to nail a 44-yarder. It took 11 plays to melt down over five minutes, but New England showed they can play Steelers ball, and play it well.

6:40 remaining in the fourth quarter, New England up 24-17.
Pittsburgh punted to New England, pinning the Pats back to their nine-yard line.

In the first play from scrimmage, Drew Bledsoe read blitz. The ball was snapped quickly after checking. Steeler safety Mike Logan streaked in along with linebacker Kendrell Bell, leaving corner DeWayne Washington on an island with David Patten.

Patten was the "hot" receiver, and amazingly blew past Washington to get a step early. Bledsoe launched a rainbow that missed Patten's fingertips by just a small unit of measurement. New England was that close to a 91-yard touchdown that would have broken the Steelers' back there and then.

Three plays later, from the Patriots' 20, Bledsoe dropped back to pass. Joey Porter blitzed this time. Porter timed the pass perfectly, leaped to block it, and came within a fiber of intercepting it and waltzing into the endzone.

The fans groaned. In a relatively dull game of almosts, these two plays are the summary of the action.

2:27 remaining in the fourth quarter, New England up 24-17.
The Patriots' drive was stopped at their 37. Ken Walter punted to the Pittsburgh 22 with no return. Stewart went to work with 4:21 remaining, throwing two completions before putting one right in the chest of New England's Tebuckey Jones. That's two for Kordell. The boos began.

Bill Belichick kept the ball on the ground. Cowher called two timeouts to Belichick's one. Vinitieri lined up for a 50-yard attempt into the north endzone, but it was wide left.

Seven point games are usually pretty exciting, but this one is like watching water heat up to boil.

Game over, New England upsets the Pittsburgh Steelers 24-17.
Kordell completed his choking hat trick of futility by throwing his third ridiculous pick of the day, this one to Lawyer Milloy. The Steelers walked off the field not dejected, but in shock, like they had survived an automobile accident that took three hours and forty-six minutes, the crawling duration of this afternoon's affair.

Most everyone in the press box stood to catch the elevator down to the postgame press conference. I pop my back several times to shake off the stiffness from sitting in the high chair.

I walked down the empty steps, not really knowing what to do next. Mike Mularkey, the Pittsburgh offensive coordinator, walked by, looking like a businessman who had a bad day. I nodded to him; he shook his head, like "no interviews, not now, not this year."

Still not knowing what to do, I headed for the men's room to wash up. Standing at the sink beside Phil Simms, I wanted to comment on the game, but what kind of comment can I offer a professional commentator?

I stood in the hallway, examining my notes. I had New England holding the ball for around ten minutes in the fourth quarter, completely taking Pittsburgh out of their game of attrition. The Patriots also converted three of seven third downs, enabling them to hold the ball.

Walking to the elevator, I thought of the New England defense being the unsung heroes of the day. I know, I know...the Steelers won every statistical category except the score. That was the Patriots' D today: bend, but don't break.

Greg Gumble and Phil Simms show up at the elevator. Phil makes me think of Troy Brown. Simms, the ex-NFL quarterback, played his college ball at Morehead State in Kentucky, just an interstate hour west of Marshall. Morehead and Marshall; Marshall, Troy Brown's alma mater, Morehead's bitter rival.

Marshall is also the school for which Randy Moss played. Moss and Brown were not contemporaries, but they did play the same position, wideout.

A shorter, blue-eyed college woman by chance walks to us and had some end of game stats sheets for Greg, Phil, and me. I turn directly to the individual numbers. In addition to the outstanding day Troy Brown had on special teams, he caught eight passes for 121 yards.

We load into the elevator car; Greg Gumble, Phil Simms, and the citizen sportswriter, along with a couple of others. The doors shut and the car begins to move lower. Phil says to Greg, "You didn't miss a call today." Greg thanks him.

I speak up and say, "Excuse me, Phil, I'm a big fan." He nods. "Just wondering," I say, "since you're from Morehead, and after the game today, now who's the best wideout from Marshall University?"

Simms laughs, as does Gumble. "I guess it has to be Troy Brown," Phil says, still smiling. "He's the best wideout from a lot of places."

West Virginia Loses To Auburn: Have Faith, Stew

Tim McGhee — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 10:01:15 -0400

The head football coach for the West Virginia University Mountaineers, Bill Stewart (pictured), is a man of strong Roman Catholic faith, character, and heart. Always optimistic with enough of a touch of realism, he every chance he gets compliments his players, his coaches, opponents' players and coaches, players and coaches of other sports, the fans, the interviewer, ...

He even compliments the nurses in the Ruby Memorial pediatric ICU, as reported to me by my daughter who was one of those nurses on duty during a recent visit by the coach.

If I had a son who wanted to play college football on the FBS level, I'd want him to play for Stew.

However, I am a proud father of two very talented daughters, the nurse and a dancer. Despite each possessing the demeanor, they don't play football.

What I am also is a citizen sportswriter for Bleacher Report. It is my job to discuss how a football team of talented athletes can rake in over 500 yards offense yet turn the ball over six times and lose the game.

Conclusion? Too much adult interference. No faith in the youngsters.

It is a coach's duty to place the best athletes on the field and put them in the position so they can go for the win. If you had to describe the job of a coach in one sentence, that would be it.

That happened in the first 50 or so minutes of Saturday night's game at Auburn, then for some inexplicable reason, it didn't happen. The sit-on-the-lead strategy took precedent.

West Virginia's offense and defense were each manned by a squad of risk takers flying around making play after play. And, in spite of the offense stopping itself and the defense being backed in a corner, the Mountaineers got the important 30 points.

That particular number is essential because West Virginia is 60-1 in games in which they score 30 or over.

Well, make that 60-2.

Here's how to avoid 60-3:

WVU quarterback Jarrett Brown is a mix of the scrambler Vince Young, the leader Roger Staubach, and the swashbuckler Joe Namath and Brett Favre. If I were a coach, I'd wind Jarrett up and turn him loose running and gunning, then ask questions later.

Jarrett's going to drop a few more balls this season and throw a few more passes in the hands of the guys wearing different colored jerseys. But, the good Jarrett will greatly outperform the bad Jarrett if you let him go.

In addition, coach Stewart, take the heat off Jarrett and hand the ball to Noel Devine - a lot. "Hand" is the operative word because there is no reason to subject him to the middle screen any more, especially since Auburn has clued WVU's future opponents on how to stop it.

Late in the Auburn game, it looked as if the coaches were using Noel as a decoy. Come on. The speedy little guy can't gain his six yards a carry just standing there. Give him the mail and let him deliver.

It is evident by the tremendous amount of yardage gained that West Virginia's offensive line is tanned, rested, and ready. Despite the late game fiasco, Jarrett was sacked only once as Noel saw daylight whenever he ran the ball, with "ran" being the next operative word and "whenever" not far behind.

The future of Mountaineer football is definitely bright, this season and the next. The coaches have a team of scoring machines and are deep with hard-hitting stoppers. However, it is obvious that Stewball is also Newball in that the adults are on a steep learning curve. They'll grow out of that. The sooner, the better.

My suggestion is to line the players up and let them go for it. Don't ever play to not lose because West Virginia has a tremendous opportunity here. No Big East team is playing the all-out style the Mountaineers are producing now. It may be scary, but you're lucky. That's the full house aces over kings hand you've been dealt in 2009.

Now is the time to make history. You'll get that 11-1 and who knows? Maybe the BCS will turn screwy again like it did in 2007 and you'll end up in Pasadena for the final game of the college football season.

That would be fun.

West Virginia Proves Its SEC Mettle, Even If It's Not Quite on Auburn's Level

Tim McGhee — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 06:35:04 -0400

I started this piece 7:30 Sunday evening, having just gotten off the phone with a friend driving through Nashville on the scenic route back from Auburn to West Virginia. He'd been at the game Saturday night and had to say, several times, "those Auburn folks are super!"

Furthermore, Saturday was his birthday and that night was "the best football experience I had ever experienced!"

Think of how he would have felt had West Virginia won.

We almost found out.

So, Auburn fans are most gracious hosts. I'd heard that, and I'm happy Auburn took care of my buddy during his birthday on The Plains.

They also play some serious football down there at Jordan-Hare, as was evident by how those War Eagles clawed with all their talons to stay in the game when it wasn't going their way.

Just as importantly, Saturday night's game telecast on ESPN2 showed that, in spite of themselves, the Mountaineers can play competitively among the best in the Southeastern Conference.

WVU is big, fast, deep, and they hit like cement trucks. That's SEC football, that's the measuring stick, that's the standard, and that is indeed West Virginia football.

We're there.

It would have been nice to have been a little closer. Perhaps West Virginia should have won the game before I announce their arrival.

True, it would have been one of those big Mountaineer victories. In addition to being in there for one game, I think you can extrapolate that West Virginia is deep enough to run the season through an SEC schedule and be in the hunt.

I didn't say win it. I said be in the conversation.

I'm not proposing you ask the Mounties to join the league. The Southeastern Conference needs a 13th member like I need a 13th credit card. I'm just saying it's nice to know that WVU can stay with you.

It wasn't easy staying with Auburn Saturday night. West Virginia all but stopped the Tigers' legendary running attack early, but allowed their Indy 500 offense to get the best of them at the end of the first half.

That was a boatload of momentum Auburn took into the locker room. The one double caffeinated espresso drive dictated the second half of play.

Despite that, West Virginia remained in control late, albeit barely. The Mountaineers had to fight not one, but four formidable opponents: a) Auburn, b) 89,000 drenched but wild Auburn fans, c) Jarrett Brown, and d) the West Virginia coaching staff's play calling.

I take back c). Jarrett Brown is an outstanding athlete who was just trying to make it work within the confines of the coaches.

I fail to see why someone told Jarrett to throw the ball out of bounds late in the fourth when he was doing very well getting several yards before running out of bounds.

Worse still, why flip the ball to a 5'7" Noel Devine standing in a group of a half-dozen finely-tuned SEC athletes when simply handing the ball to him would have been more productive.

One could feel Auburn dismantling the Mountaineers as the minutes ticked away. West Virginia coaches blinked first, becoming desperate way too soon. The flip worked early, but when it counted, it didn't.

Find the page in the playbook with the flip pass and rip it out.

Auburn was a good football team going into the night. And I have to say that, in the wee hours of Eastern Daylight Time Sunday morning, hours to which I'm not accustomed, it was obvious that there was no doubt that the War Eagle will soar this 2009 season.

Auburn will do more than make some noise. We might see them playing in early December for the conference title.

Wouldn't that be something great for college football? A team picked to finish fourth in its division, a team that won only five last year, coached by a man who won only five in his entire tenure in his previous job? It would be delicious to see that team crash the party.

Good luck, Auburn. And, for my friend, I thank you for the hospitality.

Why West Virginia at Auburn Is the Game of the Week

Tim McGhee — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:02:50 -0400

(To Auburn fans: Thank you for the 50 comments. Unfortunately, my day job would not allow me the time to get back to you. So, this is my one big community reply. Good luck Saturday night.)

If you're from Texas, you need not read on. However, I ask you 'Horns and Raiders to at least enter The Deuce in your remote. During commercial breaks of Texas Tech at Texas, you might want to check in with this one, because West Virginia at Auburn is indeed the game of the week.

A preposterous statement, you say?

Oh, yes. Texas is No. 2 and seeking retribution. Texas Tech wants more of the glory days.

But talk to folks from the hills of Almost Heaven to The Plains, and they'll sell you on the idea. Sell you hard.

And you'll buy it.

Here's why.

When Auburn or West Virginia Have the Ball, the Air and the Ground Will be Rife with Offensive Fireworks

Auburn has two of the nation's leading rushers in Mr. Inside, the strong Ben Tate, and Mr. Outside, the fleet Onterio McCalebb.

West Virginia's quarterback, Jarrett Brown, can and will put the ball in the breeze. Jarrett has receivers and will also take off running at a moment's notice.

Plus, Auburn has a passing game and West Virginia has Noel Devine.

It truly doesn't get much better, and more obvious, than this.

Despite the Offensive Attacks, Defense Is the Name of the Game at Auburn and West Virginia

It is highly unlikely the Tigers or the Mountaineers will pitch a shutout, but whichever stopper unit slows the other guys down better will put its school in the position to win this one. It'll take a full 60 minutes to sort it all out, but in the end the defenses will rule.

In fact, the game's X-factors are on defense. The X for West Virginia is linebacker Reed Williams. He's X because: A) he's playing through the pain of a strained foot, and B) he needs his defensive linemen to tie up the Auburn offensive line so he can roam the field.

If A and B happen, that effectively negates Tate and puts the bull's-eye on McCalebb. Then it will be speed vs. speed. Both teams like that kind of game.

The X-factor for Auburn is the defensive backfield depth. They're playing injured. As well, WVU's receivers' route running and blocking for the big quarterback will certainly keep the Tiger D-backs busy.

If the corners and the safeties can neutralize Alric Arnett, Jock Sanders, and company, West Virginia will be given a look they have not seen this season. That is not a pleasant thought for Mountaineer fans.

If West Virginia's Young Offensive Line Had to Choose One Game to Come of Age, It Better Be This One

Devine is nowhere near the stellar yardage production he should have tallied by now. It makes for great drama when he scrambles, but Brown's protection pocket has been collapsing way too quickly. And that was against FCS Liberty and C-USA East Carolina.

West Virginia needs a balanced offense to win this game. The only way to achieve that is if the O-line dominates.

The Team Whose Special Teams Kicking/Punting/Returning Game Screws Up Less Will Have the Inside Rail to Victory

Gee, I hate to be so negative, but both Auburn and West Virginia have special teams that in total are woefully inadequate.

Too many fans laugh at Ohio State's Jim Tressel for stating that the punt is the most important play of the game of football. As far as the Mountaineers and the Tigers go, the beautiful work of the offenses can be sent to hell in a handbasket if one guy leaves his lane or muffs a punt.

When a foot hits the ball Saturday night, grab the nearest rosary.

West Virginia and Auburn Are Close in the Polls

True, it's the low thirty-somethings, not even the top 25, but writers and coaches alike agree that these two teams are a match.

Auburn Has a Score to Settle

In Morgantown last year, the Tigers blew a 17-3 halftime lead to lose 34-17. Auburn's season continued to slide downhill after that defeat, leading to a coaching staff shakeup. You can bet Gene Chizik doesn't want this one to get away.

A Victory Over Auburn Gives the Mountaineers a Road Win Over a Quality Opponent

After this game, it's winless Colorado and hapless Marshall, and then on to the relatively weak Big East schedule. The computers would like it if West Virginia beats Auburn in case we see another 2007 BCS season jailbreak.

A Victory Over West Virginia Vaults Auburn Toward Its Southeastern Conference Schedule with a Great Deal of Momentum

The spread works better if you think you're invincible. So do all the other offenses Gus Malzahn can imagine.

Auburn Fans Love Their Tigers

I've discovered this week that you're among the best in the FBS, Auburn fans. Seldom are you vile, but you're having fun again, and you deserve the hope this 2009 season brings. You also deserve many victories...after Saturday night, that is.

If the Mountaineers Beat Auburn, It Will be Among the Victories West Virginia Fans Pass on to Their Grandchildren

2009 Auburn will be like 1975 Pittsburgh, the 1981 Peach Bowl over Florida, 1982 Oklahoma, 1984 Boston College, and 1993 Miami, as well as others. The history of West Virginia football glory is definite, albeit sporadic. When it happens, however, it's huge, and it lasts forever.

This contest is so very close, it's almost too bad there has to be a loser. But since that's the case—I'll take a one-point West Virginia win in a high-scoring game.

West Virginia Football 2009: Week Two Awards

Tim McGhee — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:57:13 -0400

And the winners of the Week Two awards for the West Virginia 2009 football season are:

We Have the Technology Award: Tavon "Six million dollar man" Austin

We have the technology. We can rebuild him into a downfield, vertical receiver. In fact, why wait for his resume to fill up. Keep him in the rotation now. We can make him stronger, faster, with bionic eyesight to better see the Jarrett Brown rockets. Wait, he's already strong and fast, and he saw that TD pass as three ECU d-backs had their arms flailing...

John Henry Award: Noel "4.2 forty" Devine

We know Devine can shake and bake with the best. And we know he has an instantaneous fifth gear. What we did not know about ol' 4.2 is he hits a pile, and, like the steel drivin' man, he and his 5'7" frame moves it, as it did for that touchdown run. He does it so well that, and this is the delicious irony, NFL scouts say all he needs to work on is his speed. Read: Noel will be drafted.

NASCAR Award: The Kickoff Coverage "Yellow Flag" Team

No more just left turns with this squad. West Virginia's kickoff coverage played straight up, putting caution in East Carolina's eyes. As the fans in the stands were expecting to see the checkered flag in their team's end zone at any time, the Mountaineers held the Pirates' return men inside their 40-yard line. Our boys are getting there. That's tacklin'.

Covert Ops Award: The Offensive "Toradors No More—Well, Almost" Line

Posing as bull fighters against Liberty, the West Virginia big men seemingly had their red capes draped over their shoulders, at least during the running plays. In the East Carolina game, the line almost blew its cover by getting a great block here and there. I predict a tell-all book on the order of Valerie Plame as the matadors are exposed to who they really are, an offensive line.

The Nervous Doug Flutie Award: The Fourth Quarter "I Got Your Fear Right Here" Defense

Late in the 1984 game against Boston College at Mountaineer Field with WVU up only one, Don Nehlen actually signed off on putting nine men on the line and the corners on an island against the magical QB who would eventually win the Heisman Trophy. It worked. In honor of that wonderful day, Bill Stewart sent seven after East Carolina's Patrick Pinkney on a fourth down late in the game and deep in WVU territory. It worked.

Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee Award: The "Pancake Ballet" Wideouts

Alric Arnett, Bradley Starks, Wes Lyons, Jock Sanders, Tavon Austin, et. al. They move and catch like dancers, block like bulls, and score like the Pittsburgh Penguins. I can't remember a unit of receivers, and West Virginia has had some outstanding ones, who can put it all together as can the 2009 wideouts. Then, when you consider that on 10 separate occasions bedlam erupted against East Carolina when Jarrett Brown took off and adjustments had to be made on the fly...

The Week Two Oh, No! There Goes Tokyo! Award: Jarrett "Make a Play" Brown

Over 400 yards of total offense accounted for and four touchdown passes, but one play speaks volumes about the Godzilla he is: less than a minute left in the first quarter, Mountaineers down 10-0, ball on the ECU 43-yard line. Jarrett sends Alric big and holds the ball until he is wide open. The holding of the ball necessitated that Jarrett stare down the defensive end barrelling in on him. At the last instant, Jarrett arcs the pass over the D-lineman as said D-lineman plants his face in Jarrett's sternum and drives him hard to the ground. Touchdown, West Virginia. Jarrett gets up and jogs away.

Please send me a comment and vote for your favorite, or nominate your own award winner.

West Virginia: How To Take an Auburn and Make an East Carolina Out Of It

Tim McGhee — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:20:28 -0400

I said East Carolina by three, and the Mountaineers rolled 35-20. I'm just doing this once more. Then, I'm out of the predictions business.

Here it is: West Virginia will win the remainder of its games, one at a time.

One at a time. So, let's talk about Auburn.

I gave myself a hotfoot by selling the WVU defense way, way short. Well, they manned up, fighting through a) key early injuries to linebacker Reed Williams and defensive lineman Scooter Berry, and b) poor field position from three turnovers and being penalized half the distance to Star City.

A deep and hard-hitting squad of stoppers held a potent East Carolina offense to only 13 first downs. The Pirates clawed for only 62 rushing yards and had to scrape mobile quarterback Patrick Pinkney off the turf four times after sacks.

As well, ECU's footballs spiraled through the air a lot, only to be batted down often by the extremely athletic West Virginia defensive backs.

East Carolina went up a quick 10-0, scored near the end of the half to make it 21-20, and that was it as the WVU D brought Mountaineers off the bench and dropped the hammer.

Auburn gonged up an impressive 49 on Mississippi State. I don't see the Tigers scoring more than a touchdown a quarter on this resourceful, talented, flying-around West Virginia defense.

There I go again.

Now, for the offense. I really don't like the word "discombobulated" since it's clunky and cumbersome. I also once heard Frank Gifford use the word four times in four sentences on Monday Night Football. As a writer, that really affected me.

However, there is no better way to describe the West Virginia attack in the first several minutes of the WVU-ECU game.

It looked very ugly. And, the boos and the angry comments rang out. That is completely unnecessary and will be the subject of a future column.

In fact, the only man cool and collected in the entire county was WVU quarterback Jarrett Brown. An article in Morgantown's Dominion Post stated that at the nadir Jarrett simply got everyone together and told them to "just make a play."

Then he himself made a bunch of them.

Completing nearly three-quarters of his passes and amassing over 330 yards through the air, Brown entertained the crowd and frustrated East Carolina with his total offense game.

The offensive line still played young. The unit didn't help Noel Devine out much at all, and could afford Jarrett only one, maybe two good looks as the protection pocket collapsed too quickly.

After that, it was time to take off. That's where the WVU quarterback is very dangerous. When he is sprinting out, Brown creates all sorts of problems for the defense.

Will he gun it, or will he be a load to bring down? Jarrett raised that question over and over against East Carolina. Similar to a man a generation before him, Jarrett Brown is a large version of Doug Flutie, difficult to catch and even more difficult to stop, but a winner through and through.

To hell with what the NFL says. Brown's brand of attack makes for some wonderful college football.

When Brown did throw, it was if he had four Lynn Swanns out there running routes and making great catches. Lining up twins right and left early, sometimes triplets on one side, Bill Stewart left no doubt that he intended to air it out all day.

Slot man Jock Sanders had his typical workmanlike contributions. And, wideout Alric Arnett (pictured) displayed why he is already attracting pro scout chatter. The way he blew by the Pirate corner for his first touchdown reminded us older guys of Danny Buggs. They are both downfield receivers if you ever saw one.

If Mississippi State scored in the mid-20s, I don't see why West Virginia can't simply put it in the breeze on the Alabama plains and see what happens. Besides, the Mountaineers have their X factor in the true freshman flyboy Tavon Austin. Cover Alric and Jock, Auburn d-backs, then count Tavon's cleats.

That was a fine game West Virginia played against East Carolina. The Mounties can duplicate the results at Auburn especially if four things happen: a) Air Stew is cleared for takeoff, b) the offensive line can push the Tigers around for Noel Devine and give him a chance to run for more than 80 yards, c) no turnovers, and d) no foolish penalties.

Auburn is playing at a level above what the experts predicted for this year. It'll be a fight, but if WVU can balance its offense, the Mountaineers will win a good one on the road.