Bleacher Report - Articles by insaneinthemembrane

Bob Costas for MVP

insaneinthemembrane — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 08:14:54 -0400

Bob Costas is the king of broadcasting, hands down, no competition. He does it all—so totally cool like the other side of the pillow.

If you disagree, speak now! Who's better? Brent Musberger? Mike Tirico? Juan Pierre? George Steinbrenner? Luis Matos? Frank Catalanatto? Lou Piniella (former FOX broadcaster great)?

Come on, duke it out you guys.

Anyone Associated With the New York Mets Is Retarted

insaneinthemembrane — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 08:12:57 -0400

Just wanted to point that out.

You have no shot to beat the Phillies, you lowlife scumbags of the earth. Hey Fernando Tatis—good luck managing a Denny's, douchebag. Best of luck to Robinson, cancel mowing my lawn compadre. Let's see how you handle cleaning sumo wrestlers' butts, Ryan Church!

Yeah, I dunno even why the Mets even bother to play in the MLB still—the door is that way Mets—time to exit you guys.

New York Mets' Strange Season May Lead to Playoffs

insaneinthemembrane — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 04:02:05 -0400

The Mets are expereincing quite a strange season this year. From Willie Randolph being gone, Oliver Perez being inconsistent, Johan Santana pitching well and getting no wins, and David Wright hitting insanely well, to Omar Minaya being criticized for only signing hispanic players, Billy Wagner blowing saves, and having no reliable bullpen arms.

From Carlos Delgado going from insanely bad to insanely good, Carlos Beltran being mediocre as usual, Brian Schneider catching and rarely hitting, to Keith Hernandez shouting profanities from the booth, and Roger Cedeno pleading for Minaya to sign him so he can hear what it feels like to get booed again—it goes on and on.

What are your thoughts? Will this go down as a team surrounded by so much drama and so much going on, and yet overcame it all to make the playoffs? Usually teams surrounded by so much drama play lousy.

And yet in the NL East, only the inconsistent Phillies stand in their way, so it wouldn't be too far-fetched to say the Mets will be the top team in the division.

So who do the Mets match up well against? Brewers, Cubs, Dodgers, D-backs? Pick your poison! You don't have to be Mets fan to have an opinion, if you want to leave a comment displaying how dumbfounded you are by the weirdness of the Mets' season, please feel free.

New York Mets, Philadelphia Phillies Make NL East Pretty Weird, Huh?

insaneinthemembrane — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 03:06:47 -0400

All of the sudden the Mets lead the NL East by 2.5 games—come on, Phillies, what kind of stupid stuff are you trying to pull?

The Phillies have been picked to win the division for a good part of the year. Now the freaking Mets, who were all but put to death not long ago, are on top the division? Are you kidding me?

Does anyone have an opinion of what the Mets will be like in the playoffs? Are they capable of going on a serious playoff run? Obviously, the D-backs, Cubs, and Brewers are better than the Mets, so it would be tough for the Mets to make some serious noise in the postseason, y'all.

The Phillies still have a good chance, though—wouldn't it be cool if the Mets blew a 7.5-game lead again like they did last year? Well, it wouldn't be cool on the Mets side, it would be sad, especially since it would be a really bad way to close out Shea Stadium.

As a Phillies fan, though, here's to hoping the final game at Shea is during the regular season.

Livan Hernandez Released: Are Twins Crazy, or Just Really Loaded?

insaneinthemembrane — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 06:19:47 -0400

The Minnesota Twins are really loaded with talent, but does it really make sense to release Livan Hernandez, their opening day starter? Now Hernandez gets to pitch for the Rock boys in their pursuit of the division crown (well, it looks like the Dodgers will win that, anyway).

In recent years, funny things have happened to opening day starters around the league, and this is one of them. Brett Myers of the Phillies was the opening day starter in 2007, and ended up being their closer for most of the year—doesn't make a whole lot of sense, folks! In the process, the Phillies realized Myers is better at being a reliever, and yet now Myers is somehow in their rotation after a Double-A stint...what is going on here?

It's easy to say there is a shortage of good available starting pitchers throughout the league. When the most coveted pitchers at the trade deadline are Jarrod Washburn, Joe Blanton, Eric Bedard, Zach Grienke, Jeff Francis and Jose Mesa (well, he's not in the league anymore, actually), then something is wrong with the pitching market.

What's the problem, you ask? Not enough arms out there. So the Rockies needed a guy and they got him; his name is Livan. The Twins are loaded with young starting pitchers, and it was either make Hernandez a relief pitcher or release him—what's the right call here? Hernandez has had a decent year, even though he's giving up a lot of walks and hits. Maybe if he were pitching a little better, the Twins would have kept the old guy, but Hernandez is getting old and his good years are over with.

It's easy for me, and many people out there, to root for the Twins because they are one of the best organizations in terms of scouting and developing a farm system, so sticking with Hernandez over young flamethrower Francisco Liriano was not really going to make much sense, either, roster-wise. There's just not enough space on the roster.

The Twins now have an awesome, youth-filled rotation—Nick Blackburn, Glen Perkins, Liriano, Scott Baker, and Kevin Slowey. If you don't know any of those guys yet, get to know them—come playoff time, you will probably see them hanging around.

So have fun in Colorado, Livan, and win one for the gipper, or win one for your cousin El Duque...how old is that guy, anyway, like 83?

What's Up With Philadelphia Phillies' Jimmy Rollins?

insaneinthemembrane — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 04:49:30 -0400

In Thursday's game vs. the Mets, Phillies manager Charlie Manuel chose to bench reigning NL MVP Jimmy Rollins because he arrived late to the game. It doesn't matter that the game started at noon, or that Rollins is not hitting nearly as well as he did last year (and Rollins was on the DL for a few weeks in April this year), but I find it hard to defend Manuel on this.

J- Roll wasn't making any excuses, which was good—he says when he plays in NY he gets to the game by driving, and there happened to be more traffic than he expected.

So what can the poor MVP shortstop do? It's only July, but all games against good division opponents are of great importance and significance. The fact is, Rollins is still a very good player and starting Eric Bruntlett or anyone else at SS is not a better option and decreases the likelihood of a Phillies victory.

Apparently Manuel was really pissed and had a short meeting with J-Roll to try to send a message to him, using the "you can't be late to the game or else you won't start, you lame excuse for a middle infielder" line.

Does anyone think Rollins is not as motivated as his teammates to play hard on a daily basis? Or perhaps that because he won the MVP, maybe he thinks he doesn't have to play hard anymore?

Can anyone think of a reigning MVP, either in the AL or NL, who did anything similar to what Jimmy has done, like arrive later than everyone on the team to a big divisional game?

Earlier this year, Jimmy was benched by Manuel for not running on a pop up—how can a reigning MVP make a mistake like that? Is something motivating J-Roll to be a nuisance to his teammates, perhaps saying that it's not important to get to the ballpark on time?

J-Roll is supposed to be a leader—perhaps something that Chase Utley is trying to become—because most MVPs have that leadership swagger, or else they wouldn't be voted in as the MVP.

Richie Sexson Reaches Agreement With Al Michaels Infamous 'Miracles' Call

insaneinthemembrane — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:28:09 -0400

With a .218 batting average this season, Seattle Mariners first baseman Richie Sexson is looking to spice up his season a little bit. Sexson has made an oral agreement with legendary broadcaster Al Michaels, to replay his infamous "do you believe in miracles" call for every time he gets a base hit for the remainder of the season, including any singles and doubles, and home runs if applicable.

Says Michaels, "If there's anything I can do to help out a player who is doing anything to get a base hit, anything to avoid being the next Mario Mendoza, I'll be more than willing to help out. I never actually looked at any of the Mariners statistics, considering they are the worst team since maybe the 2003 Tigers or 1962 Mets, but I trust that Sexson is a big reason for why the Mariners are really stinking it up. To tell you the truth if you asked me to name any other player on the Mariners roster, I would say maybe Harold Reynolds and that's it. Well maybe Reynolds retired, I don't really keep up with these things."

In accordance with the agreement, the Mariners radio and TV broadcasting team will play a cassette tape with the original call by Michaels that dates back some 28 years ago, immediately following any base hits by Sexson, should Sexson decide to improve his batting average to any degree.

Sexson agreed that it's pretty much a miracle that any time he hits a ball on the good part of the bat, it's a miracle, so it would make him feel really good if Mariners fans could hear the sweet sound of Michaels' voice on the air.

Said Sexson, "I figure with 70+ games left in the year, providing that my inability to hit continues on a steady pace, I'll get at least five, maybe six more hits. I hit well against Texas because they have no good pitchers, but against pitchers in the rest of the league I think I'm hitting like .065 lifetime."

"Damn man I never really realized how much I royally and mightily stink. I was thinking recently maybe I should stop playing and spare Mariners fans my raw inability to do anything offensively. I was good with the Brewers, but back in those days I was smoking cigars and what not with Bob Eucker before every game. And my memory is bad but I think Uek also shot me up with some HGH before every game so that also helped over there with the Brew Crew."

"That really got me going, so with the Mariners I'm hoping this Michaels' thing will get me going at least a little. In 1980 there was a miracle in ice hockey. Why can't there be more miracles nowadays, and what better way is there to call a miracle play than to replay that Michaels thing? When I hit a ball in play and it's not caught, people have to recognize that a miracle is going down."

Said Teammate Raul Ibanez, "Richie is just not thinking straight. He's basically accepting and embracing the fact that he is the worst player in baseball. And that includes the minor leagues and independent leagues. Using a famous audio clip by Michaels to emphasize the unlikely-hood that Richie will get a hit just won't help Richie at all."

"Maybe he should work with our hitting coach. Although last time I checked, our hitting coach was busy filming for the new 'Bad News Bears' movie. I think he's playing Billy Bob Thornton's assistant. Or maybe Ichiro can help him, but every time Ichiro gives Richie hitting advice at the batting cage, he just looks the other way and asks Ichiro if he wants to get a bite to eat in Chinatown and watch Jackie Chan movies. Maybe for Richie hitting is not his thing. There's a Denny's opening up down the road, I'll go get him an application."

Mr. Sexson refused to respond to Ibanez comments, although he did say he will do his best to find some cool Japanese flicks to watch with Ichiro in his spare time. Sexson also plans to ignore his teammates' attempts to improve his swing, saying "Look, I'm trying hard to bring that losing feeling to the Mariners clubhouse, you guys aren't helping."

Said Manager Jim Riggleman, "It'll be a miracle if this guy even gets on base anymore. I mean this guy should stop playing and start mowing my lawn or look somewhere for a summer job. We have a first baseman in AAA who is pretty bad, but we'd like to call him up because our season is over, so we're gonna try any alternative out there. My 91 year old step mother doesn't even play baseball and her batting average is better than Richie's."